Coming Out Day...Again

I have been out for so long, I don't normally give much thought to the National "Coming Out Day" which was yesterday.

As I have always written about, coming out can be on very many levels. As little as cross dressing and going out on rare occasions when you are safe, all the way to living full time as a transgender woman. Both are equally as important to the overall trans cause.

Through all of this though, I had my own "coming out" experience this morning. With our changing weather and numerous errands to run this morning, I had to go my wardrobe and find an outfit which was comfortable and was designed to blend with the majority of cis women I encounter. I came up with my long sleeved Durango, Colorado railroad shirt, along with a slightly faded pair of leggings with a pair of tennis shoes.

Normally, I am not real impressed with yet another rather mundane outfit but this morning  However, today somehow was different. For once I accepted I had arrived. This was life as I hadn't really planned for but found anyway. 

The coming out process for me went something like this.  I always knew my goal was to blend. Early on I focused on professional women around me. As I progressed though, I decided I loved the "hippie" bohemian styles from my youth. Finally these days I have settled on comfort and whatever style I can afford. I love this part of the year because I can wear my soft sweaters. colorful leggings and boots.

Most importantly, I have reached a point of having confidence in my feminine appearance which accordingly has acted as a deterrent to my gender dysphoria.

Whatever coming out means to you, building confidence could be your best friend. After all, the great majority of us start so far behind cis women applying makeup and having understanding of what outfits are flattering or not. One of the major problems is battling the mirror which always tries to lie to you and going through our teenage years when we are much older. Which leads to the stereotypical mid aged cross dresser in the mall stuffed into a mini skirt and heels.

Rest assured, it is all part of the coming out process. Here's to hoping yours is coming along well too!

Break Down

Connie kindly read the lengthy article I spotlighted here in Cyrsti's Condo about the ridiculous transgender military ban. You can see the post here. Here is her (Connie's) take:

"Let me first make it clear that I think this ban is ridiculous, and unconstitutional, as well. Bravo for these women's efforts!

The part of the story that really intrigues me is this part:

"She’s worried about people who are only just realizing they’re transgender. Hendrick came out at 46 years old and hadn’t known of a trans person other than on television before 2014. She said one of her clients realized they were trans after seeing congressional testimony from a trans military member.
“When I realized what was going on with me, I was like ‘I have to transition now, even if it ruins my career. I’ve been alive for 46 years and I have not experienced life as who I truly am. I need to do this,’” Hendrick said.

I realize that my gender identity and dysphoria are mine, and mine alone. I can't expect that every other trans person has had the same experiences. However, it's difficult for me to believe that one goes through life, especially into middle-age, unaware of their own dysphoria - let alone never seeing some sort of similarity between themselves and trans people they have seen on TV. I also understand denial, but you can't deny something unless you've first recognized it.

I can only take her (Hendrick's) statement as her own truth. When I was 46, I was hiding in the closet, having lived with my dysphoria since early childhood. While she made a complete transition (physically, anyway) in just two years, I was still hiding myself in the closet at 48. In fact, it was another ten years before I could decide that I had to live the rest of my life as a woman. 

I certainly don't advocate following my path to transition, but, even had I not been the procrastinator that I am, I don't think I could have made such a drastic change in only two years' time. Although I don't believe in all the "rapid onset" nonsense, this case seems just about as rapid as it could be.

As I said, intriguing."

Thanks! 

Back in the Saddle

Well, the Trans Ohio Symposium weekend did not disappoint. The inclusion feeling of the Symposium was as incredible as ever.

To put it all in perspective will take several posts. Very simply put though, I partied way too hard, enjoyed my workshop immensely, was interviewed for a dissertation/ book on transgender history, sat way too long in hard back chairs listening to other workshops and was even hugged and kissed on by gay guys.

My workshop was well attended this year! My gender dysphoria topic seemed to resonate with the group well as did my military history. There were a couple of other veterans in the group who asked questions about my experiences within the VA.

The keynote speaker on Saturday was fascinating and they did a wonderful job explaining their (preferred pronouns)research into transgender history. Liz of course is much more outgoing than I am and insisted I talk to them about my Cyrsti's Condo blog and a bit of my past. They responded that we should get together for an interview concerning their project.

I will be writing more information about this later. As well as the other exciting times we had!

Trans Ohio Symposium

Since this Saturday at 9 AM is my workshop presentation at the Trans Ohio Symposium in Columbus, Ohio, I thought I better get started on my notes.

To start with, I'm going to pass out a cover page and paper which simply outlines the questions and symptoms of my topic. Gender Dysphoria.

It goes something like this:

                                                            Gender Dysphoria

               Sex?          Sexuality?           Gender?

          Stress...Tension...Anxiety...Withdrawal...Emotion...Suicide

Somewhere along the line, I may come up with an outline and/or brief bio to save me droning on about myself for a lone period of time.

For once, I am going to try to stay on point and organized which is always not so easy considering how my mind works!

Good Morning Trans Ohio!

I have decided to open my Trans Ohio Symposium  workshop with a blast from my past and borrow a line from Robin Williams in the movie "Good Morning Vietnam." If you are not aware, Williams played American Forces Vietnam disk jockey Adrian Cronauer.  Williams in the movie opened his morning radio show with a hearty "GOOD MORNING VIET-NAM!!!

Adrian Cronauer (left) Robin Williams (right)

I was on the radio in Thailand not long after Cronauer and hosted the "Ozone Theater." It was quite the experience being the only tie in to home for thousands of lonely Air Force troops on a combat base.

I feel like since I have one of the earliest workshops at the symposium, Saturday morning at nine after breakfast, having someone yell GOOD MORNING TRANS OHIO!!! will at the least wake everyone up.

It also will be a great lead in to my topic "Gender Dysphoria, from Army Tough to a Feminine Life."

I guarantee I will wake everyone up! Then, my major task will be to keep them interested.

Doctors and More Doctors!

Yesterday I went with Liz to her Doctor's appointment and felt good. The wait is normally short and I fool around on my phone and people watch.

For a change, my Mtf Gender Dysphoria was at a low point, so I felt good about myself presenting as a trans woman in public. One would think, as much and as long I have lived full time, all anxieties would begin to diminish. And, for a change, they have.

For the most part yesterday, my interactions were all with other women since Liz's Doctor is in a University of Cincinnati women's health center. For all I know they could have thought I was there for any number of issues except pregnancy. However,  if I don't continue to walk and control what I eat, I might be looking like I am pregnant anyhow.

Speaking of women's health issues, I better get my mammogram scheduled. My maternal grandmother passed from breast cancer in the 1950's so a precedent has been set in my family to get it done. My latest excuse is we are down to one car and I have to be careful to schedule it around my other medical appointments, as well as Liz's.

Again the whole deal is part of being a woman and I need to get it done.

Finally, I have not heard back from my endocrinologist concerning the possibility of increasing my HRT.  I did how ever, receive an extra dosage of Estrogen (Estrodial)  patches from the VA, so maybe I have been approved but just not told yet.

Accepted!

I just received a message my workshop proposal for the Trans Ohio Symposium has been accepted. The symposium takes place this year again at THE Ohio State University Student Union center from April 26th through the 28th. I will find out later in the week when my workshop is scheduled.

As you may (or may not remember) my subject matter will center around my navigation through severe Mtf Gender Dysphoria.

The whole weekend is beginning to come together for Liz and I. A week ago we secured a hotel reservation at a nice venue close enough to the campus to provide a free shuttle service. Then, a couple days ago reserved a rental car for the two hundred mile trip to and back from Cincinnati to Columbus for the symposium. Which saves extra wear and tear on the only high mileage car we have left. The other self destructed a couple weeks ago when the timing belt broke. Plus, we won't have to worry about an untimely breakdown on the trip. 

Now I have to concentrate on "fleshing" out the workshop proposal I sent. Fortunately, a trans friend of mine brought back a helpful little booklet I could use from the "Keystone Conference" in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania not long ago. It's a great "cheat sheet" or for those of you who remember, a version of"Cliffs Notes" on transgender issues.

I really need to do a better job of presenting this year than last year...no crying!

Before I conclude this post, I would like to say hello to Angie in Kentucky!

A Quiet Week

Not much happening this week. I have chosen not to make the one hundred plus mile journey in mostly rush hour traffic to my Veteran's Administration LGBT support group meeting. They are just going to have to make it without me.

Sometime this week I am going to have to reserve our hotel room for the Trans Ohio Symposium. I still haven't heard back yet on my workshop proposal on Mtf  gender dysphoria.  A friend of mine is making her second trip to the "Keystone Conference", A Celebration of Gender Diversity, next week in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.  As a sidelight, the LGBT group I am part of here in Cincinnati is thinking of starting it's own regional conference. Which is quite a bit of work! In a previous life, I was a big part of bringing a state service club convention to my old hometown.

Also this week, I am going to have to quit procrastinating and schedule my mammogram which my Doctor's have wanted me to get done since January. I better schedule it before my Endocrinologist appointment in early April, so I won't catch any extra trouble.

Finally, we supposedly have another Cincinnati Witches Ball meeting coming up. The last one was so rough with in fighting, I just wonder if the whole thing will collapse. We will see.

I hope you all have a good week!

Quite the Week

Over the past week here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote about how busy the week was.

I believe the only day I didn't write much about was my Doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Since I have attempted suicide in my past and I am Bi-Polar, I have two mental health doctors assigned to me. One actually keeps track of my meds and the other of my life. Tuesday, I saw the meds doctor.

During my visit, I had my annual "update." It was worth noting to my Doc how my moods have been very smooth lately and much of it has to do with my decreasing Mtf gender dysphoria. However, I keep expecting it to start ramping back up any day. Unfortunately, I seem to always be looking over my shoulder. An example of positive reinforcement for me came Wednesday night when I went to Liz's martial arts class to pick her up. For a change, everyone there was nice and smiled and spoke to me. I especially liked it when one of them referred to me as "she."

Instances such as the experience always help my fragile confidence. Which in turn helps me live my overall life.

I know some people claim they don't need their anti depression or anxiety meds after they started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) but I am not one of them. In fact I had to make sure I could separate both sides of myself to the Veteran's Administration when I started my treatment years ago. In other words, I was transgender and Bi-Polar and one didn't equate to the other. So far, it's working.

Also this week, I did submit my proposal for a workshop at this years' Trans Ohio Symposium and I did choose the gender dysphoria subject. So far I have not heard anything back.

So, all in all it was a great week.

Cross Dressing and Gender Dysphoria

I couldn't help but share this comment from Connie on the subject of transgender women, cross dressers and Mtf gender dysphoria:

"Cross gender expression and presentation, in the absence of gender dysphoria, is - to me - pure cross dressing. I can only speak from my own experiences and acquaintances, but I have enough anecdotal evidence to, at least, theorize on this. There was a time, before I began my transition, that I actually expressed my admiration to cross dressers. The ones I knew seemed so happy just to get all dolled up for a Thursday night out "with the gurls" and then go back to their regular male lives the rest of the week. That was in contrast to my waking up Friday morning (and every morning), feeling so very deflated that I was about to face the world behind my male facade. I used to think that I just didn't have the same grip on reality as they did, and that the dysphoria I had always had was something that needed to be overcome. Most of us who have gender dysphoria, whether we admit to it or not, will learn that it can't be overcome; over-ridden by willpower, maybe, but not overcome. It was with us at birth, and it will remain until the day we die - and may be the very thing that is the cause for dying, sadly.

I still don't know if it might just be varying degrees of gender dysphoria that make the difference between one being a cross dresser or transsexual (for lack of a better term). Was it dysphoria that led me, at a very young age, to be attracted to feminine things like makeup, jewelry, and dresses? I certainly had a sense of euphoria when I put them on, but I don't know that euphoria needs to be a counter to dysphoria. I do know that the dysphoria was recognized when I began puberty; when my body started changing to something I was not happy to have. The dichotomy of a testosterone surge against my deep desire to grow into womanhood was only tempered by cross dressing experiences. The biggest fete of my life was to, at seventeen, decide to suppress my desires and maintain it for another seventeen years. The darkest period of my life was the next seventeen years, when I attempted to use closeted cross dressing to deal with my dysphoria. Like a drug addict, though, I was only maintaining, and I eventually took the leap to going out of the house as a way to find the fix that would bring back that euphoric feeling.

Hanging out with cross dressers soon lost its luster for me. I enjoyed myself, to be sure, but I still could see differences in our individual motivations for expressing our femininity. After about a year of attending events with this group, one of them asked me a question that really set me on the course of transition. She asked if I were going to disappear, as others had done, because I wasn't feeling the gratification of being involved with a bunch of "mere" cross dressers. Well, yes, I had already determined that I was not like most of them. My femininity was not dictated by a series of events at which I was participating. Those were just things that I had been doing, but I finally learned that they were only a part of who I was. When Thursday nights became the trans version of the movie, Groundhog's Day, for me, I did make my exit from the group. Interestingly, though, the few I did try to maintain relationships with ended up disappearing from my life within a short time, as well.

Although my theory of dysphoria/euphoria is in need of more development, I have found a balance in my own life that causes me to not really care anymore. My gender dysphoria will always be there, but it has become less of a motivation toward what I do to alleviate it; more just a part of who I am that is as innate as my compulsion to breath. Funny, it took finding who I am to be able to really breath."

Thanks for such an insightful post!

Transgender Support Meeting

Last night was one of the twice a month transgender - cross dresser support group meetings. It was sparsely attended due in no small part to a couple of regulars who are in the hospital. One had a heart attack and the other just went through a complex operation to remove a brain tumor. Both had the habit of adding quite a bit to the discussions. Fortunately (or not) I was able to step in with discussions of my own.

The first had to do with volunteering to work the front door at this years' Cincinnati Witches Ball Halloween party. As I wrote before, my request was met with shock by the lead organizer. On the spur of the moment, I decided I was not going to sit on the sidelines anymore and to hell with being trans...I was going to step up. The rest of the meeting became so dis-orientated due to internal squabbles and a very noisy young boys basketball team who disrupted everything else. At the least, I am satisfied I stepped up to help the ball and volunteer for a very important and complicated job.

For the last several years, we have also set up at Cincinnati Pride, which has become a huge event and I volunteered to get us registered for that. It too was lost in the dust of the mess of a meeting. Oh well.

My first topic last night involved my quest to present a workshop again at this years 2019 Trans Ohio Symposium. I have decided gender dysphoria will be my central topic. My proposal has to be in by Thursday.

Ironically, one of my assumptions about dysphoria was shattered by the moderator of the group last night. When I mentioned what I was going to try to do, she stuck her nose up in the air and said she had never experienced any Mtf gender dysphoria at all. We got into a brief give and take about what dysphoria really meant and how it was possible she never felt the pulling and tugging of the two main gender binaries. It was an eye opening experience for me.

Finally, towards the end of the meeting, we somehow ended up discussing how Victoria's Secret doesn't use transgender models and even how I don't support Chick Fil A with any of my money. Of course she said she does because she considers herself a role model of sorts for trans people everywhere by proving she could eat there. I simply said since she does have quite a bit of passing privilege, her attempts were wasted because no one knew anyhow. All she was doing was contributing to the profit margins of an anti LGBTQ company. After another person said if we stop going to all the companies who don't support us, we wouldn't have any place to go. I had to step back in and point out that wasn't true either. Cincinnati alone has several big companies who are pro LGBTQ including Kroger grocery stores, Fifth Third Bank, Procter and Gamble and Pure Romance.

So, all in all it was an exciting couple of days.   

Trans Ohio

It's hard to believe but sign up time for the 2019 version of the "Trans Ohio Symposium" is here.

My only real decision at this point is if I am going to present another workshop of some sort this year. At this point I am thinking of one of two topics. the first is a variation of last year's presentation called "Fifty Years of Hitting Transgender Walls" or, "Gender Dysphoria, the Root of all Evil?" It's probably going to be a "game time decision" when I send my application in.

A decision on choosing the presentation on gender dysphoria may appeal to more people simply due to the number of transgender men who attend, plus it may appeal more to a younger audience. Also, if I use the blog as an example, MtF transgender dysphoric posts have always had a good response.

One way or another, the presentation has to be accepted anyway, so there is no guarantee I would be doing it anyway.

We will see!

Shoe Time?

Thanks to several of you, we have gotten plenty of response here in Cyrsti's Condo to a short series of posts we did on the closing of Payless Shoes. Responses ranged from no interest at all from Shelle, to heading there during lunch (Sally) to Connie's reference to her visits at DSW , an upscale competitor to Payless who undoubtedly led to their demise:

"I've not had much luck with Payless, myself. Many years ago, I bought two pair of shoes there, and I only got the second pair because it was a BOGO sale. That's a 50% discount...sorta. I imagine that what has made Payless a go-to for trans women is that they do carry some larger sizes, but they also are basically a self-service outfit. I have found that DSW works better for me, and I can get better quality at pretty good discounts (becoming a VIP shopper yields even more discounts). I usually go to the back of the store first, which is where they have the clearance shoes grouped by size. The nice leather boots I'm wearing this winter were purchased last spring, and they cost me only $12.00 ($160-80%=$32.00, and a $20.00 coupon)."

I literally have not been to a DSW Shoes for years, due to the fact I could never find my size there. I would imagine in today's world though, with the overall increase in size of women's feet, things may be different now.

Overall, I am not the shoe fanatic many transgender/cross dresser women are. So my shoe buying experiences aren't as frequent. I also can't wear heels, so I have to "manufacture" the power women get from their heels in other ways. As long as my MtF gender dysphoria isn't working against me, I normally don't have a problem with confidence which doesn't have anything thing to do with shoes. Plus, I so love it when the others (trans or CD) have to bend down to hug me or talk to me.

Finally, speaking (writing) of frequent, tonight I will have a chance to wear one of my new pairs of shoes when we go out to yet another transgender - cross dresser social. I find this one to be more relaxing than the karaoke one we go to once a month. It is quieter and easier to communicate at the venue. 

I will let you know how it goes.

Just a Little Piece of Plastic

Yesterday when my hematologist was checking me over, he asked me to raise my sweater so he could check my stomach. Along the way, he noticed my two estrodial patches on my sides and asked what they were.

He didn't ask what they were for. If he did, the simplest answer would have been, the patches make me the person I am today. Then I began to think about it on the way home, maybe he didn't realize I was transgender. 

For sure, all the long term positive feminizing effects of the hormones have kicked in, allowing me more gender freedom than I have ever known. Plus, the debilitating effects of my MtF gender dysphoria have decreased. Normally, I thank a higher power for my opportunity to go on HRT (hormone replacement treatment) daily.

Then I began to think of all of those trans people who for whatever reason can't go on the hormonal journey I did. I wanted to write you have all my respect. I know many are restricted medically from taking the HRT route and just as many have potential lifestyle issues with family and employment. Neither a great way to address gender dysphoria.

Now I have to worry about the VA changing my patches to a lesser effective generic brand of patch like they did to the trans woman I had lunch with yesterday. I have heard there was a shortage. I have enough patches to get through the next couple of months, so we shall see!

Transgender Affirmation

Affirmation of course is wonderful in whatever you do but even more so the longer you have worked to achieve a goal.

For decades now, one of my major goals (even when I was dreaming in the closet) was to become accepted for who I was - a transgender woman, or even a complete woman. Last night, at dinner with friends it happened. For two hours I was able to feel a complete part of a group of cis women talking about their lives.  Along the way, I also did most of our food ordering and used the women's room too. I even felt comfortable enough to add in my story of going with many of them years ago to see a physic in a group setting. He went around the room giving readings and when he got to me cross dressed in all my glory, he said he could see I was and will be going through some changes. Really? I was happy though my input was considered valuable enough for at least a polite chuckle and gave them all an idea of my life back then.

Overall, the best way I can describe last night... it was like getting my batteries recharged to move on with life.

Simply put, what really happened, was my ever present/lurking Mtf gender dysphoria was pushed to the back of my mentality for awhile.

That's a good thing of course.

I also just found out we are going out to a steakhouse Sunday to celebrate Liz's brother's birthday, weather permitting. So that should be fun too.

To Be or Not to Be

Last night's social was as as successful as it usually is. The only difference came when when I was waiting for Liz outside the women's room when we were ready to leave. As I was sitting on a stool, an attractive cis woman and her friend came out of the bathroom. We briefly exchanged glances and she smiled and said Hi and reached out and touched me. First I was flattered, then I was slightly depressed I was read as being transgender. More on that later.

Before all of that happened, I was observing one of the trans men at the table. Normally he is very affable but last night, he was very uptight for some reason. This morning he said on his Facebook page he has been suffering anxiety from his gender dysphoria.

I felt somewhat the same way this morning as I looked in the mirror. All of the sudden I wondered just how in the hell I got here. Living full time as a trans woman. Then, I flashed back to last night and the cis woman who reached out to me so briefly. She took me back to the days when I was first trying to find my place in a feminine world.

As I normally do, I kept thinking in fact, I know how I got here. I was born into it and have/had no choice in the matter, no matter how hard I fought.

I'm fortunate, I can keep my gender dysphoria to a minimum. Simply by living it.

Being in my present is completely superior to living in my "not to be" past.

"Mo" Military

In reply to our Cyrsti's Condo discussion about serving in the military, Connie mentioned her deceased brother in law (who served in the infantry) didn't hold it against her for not serving. To that, Michelle replied:

2. 
   Michelle HartJanuary 26, 2019 at 10:20 AM

   "Connie, as your Brother in law said you had nothing to feel guilty about not serving. It's people like the Rump that has to apologize. As for outing yourself, unless you had documentation (something that was really hard to get back then) you might have been looked at as just another individual that was trying to get out of serving. I watched a guy wearing women's underwear get accepted because he didn't have a note from his doctor. Just a little background on me, my number was 72 in 1970 but I joined to at least give myself a little choice in how I would serve. I also joined because of the thought that the military would make a man out of me and end my GD. I can honestly state that it didn't chance anything except my choice in clothing during my on duty time.
   
   As Cyrsti discovered, the down the road benefits would come in handy. I am fully covered for medical by the VA and have discovered many of the benefits from service organizations that most would not qualify for."
3. I was engaged at the time Michelle and my fiance basically gave me the ultimatum...it was her or the Army, She knew of my cross dressing at the time, so she fully expected me to try to get out of serving by telling them I was a cross dresser and even possibly gay. My number was 27, and I was not in any position to try to get a doctor's excuse.  It was not as easy as walking into the draft board in drag. 
4. Although I didn't labor under the impression military service would "make me a man", I did hope the whole experience would decrease my dysphoria and make me more macho to the outside world.  No, it didst decrease my dysphoria but the macho part worked. 
5. FYI, Michelle is no relation (I don't think) but thanks for the comment!

II

Dysphoria?

Liz's martial arts banquet was Friday and my eldest grandson's birthday party was Saturday. Both turned out to be fun events.

As I wrote about previously, I wore my newest fave outfit. I was warm, comfortable and relaxed. It turned out I received very little attention from anyone in particular. Even the food was good. No rubber chicken this year. The presenters kept the evening moving too, so we were able to leave an hour or so earlier than expected.

Saturday, the birthday party was very enjoyable. The small family gathering was genuinely happy to see us. Since it was the first time they had seen me with my new hair, I was complimented several times. Again, the food and company was good.

It wasn't lost on me how comfortable I felt all weekend. For the first time in my life, dysphoria didn't have a chance to creep in and destroy what I was doing.

Of interest, I was talking about my hair stylist's transgender son being outed in his new school. It turns out he did a modeling layout in a local magazine and somehow they found out about his feminine past. Now he is experiencing problems with his new friends at school. I told my daughter definitely being transgender was the gift which keeps on giving.

Right now mine is gifting me.   

I Served

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 23, 2019 at 3:25 PM

"As one who narrowly missed being drafted in the 1970 lottery (somehow bypassing me, with a 122, on the way to a final 125 for that year), I seriously considered the possibility of outing myself if called. I still don't know if doing so would have been cause to be unfit for military service (I mean, it wasn't as if I had a bone spur!), but I was happy that I didn't have to find out.

Instead of living with only the shame and guilt that was my gender dysphoria, though, I added to it a guilt that I had escaped the draft for any reason. Years later, when I spoke of my guilt for not "doing my duty" to my infantry veteran brother-in-law, he told me that there was nothing for me to feel guilty about. This is the same man who did a 180 in his attitude after I came out, by the way. He died, a few years ago, of a cancer that the doctors suspected to be a result of his exposure to agent orange.

I have removed myself from any guilt for both my gender identity and escaping the draft. It has been replaced with an admiration for all those who are living their authentic (gender) lives, and those who have served our military. A special blessing for those who do both!

Whether or not my gender dysphoria would have dismissed me in 1970, it's interesting that the military, in 2019, definitely would. Of course, "don't ask/don't tell" works just as it did before."

Little did I know all the turmoil leading up to being drafted would pay so many dividends down the road. The biggest one of course was my daughter, as I met her mother (a WAC) in the Army. And farther down the road, I have taken advantage of educational assistance to earn another college degree plus I have utilized much needed VA health care for nearly eight years now. 

Yes, my major battle too was with my MtF gender dysphoria which I tried to cover through self medication. All of which is a trade I would have gladly made then, if i had only known.

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother in law, I had several friends who were never the same after returning from Vietnam. Plus one who never returned at all.

Another consideration many people don't think about is the percentage of transgender troops who serve firmly in the closet.  It turns out even I ended up knowing another trans person indirectly when I served.  It's a tragedy now more transgender women and men have the potential to be turned away  from the military.

Especially at the direction of a draft dodger who didn't serve at all.

Sunday Recap

Seemingly, last week here in Cyrsti's Condo, we spent quite a bit of time discussing the power of expressing yourself in a feminine manner and the destructive influence of Mtf gender dysphoria.

Not much else to say except recap a feminine voice could be enough to protect you in a potentially negative situation. Some people will attempt to start a conversation just to satisfy their curiosity concerning your gender. Plus, once you have reached a certain level in your feminine presentation, why not take it a step further? Enough said.

Dysphoria speaks for itself (no pun intended). Like it or not, most transgender women or trans men are born with it. Along the way, it tortures us into acceptance...one way or another. The sooner we accept the fact we are dysphoric the better.

The week in review also included a couple blogs I follow and I hope I didn't leave anyone out...thanks to my steel trap mind being a little rusted on occasion.

Now is a great time to thank all of you who stop by the "Condo" on a regular basis! It makes it all worthwhile :)