A Different End...To a Different Story

Connie wrote in: "Just last week, I had a similar experience. 
At the gas station/convenience store I frequent, there was shaved-head, jeans and T-shirt guy staring at me the whole time I was at the pump. It was 5:00 AM, so still a bit dark. I have learned to be careful of my surroundings - actually vigilant. I left the pump to go inside where I could feel safer, and bought something I didn't need just to "justify" my actions. While I was in the store, though, the man came in to pay for his gas just before I was going to make my purchase. As I stood behind him, I felt like he must have had eyes in the back of his head, as though I was still being stared at. I felt relieved that he would be leaving the store before me, and that I could safely go back to my car....But he stopped at the door and just stood there, staring. I decided to just make a quick exit, so, with one key projecting from my closed fist I headed for the door. To my surprise and relief, however, the man opened the door for me with a big smile, saying "have a wonderful day." 

I know that my prudence was not wrong, but I had pre-judged him when he was obviously not thinking negatively about me at all. It turned out to be a reminder that I should not be as judgmental as I often condemn others for being toward me. Had I simply given this guy quick and friendly smile in the first place, I probably would have gotten one in return, and I wouldn't have found it necessary to buy that calorie-laden donut that I definitely did not need. 

I do agree, though, that staring is bad manners - but good manners are, sadly, so very rare these days. At least he opened the door for a lady!"

Thanks!

Also to Mandy :)

As it turned out my whole weekend was ready to turn around. More in a later post from this topsy turvy transgender LGBT world!

I Will NEVER Understand

Last night we went to a movie. No big deal, right?

I guess it was to a bald redneck who was rapidly glaring at me and elbowing his wife to look and stare. Really??? Weren't they taught any matters before they quit school in the 8th grade?

It's ridiculous I know to even rant about it, but I do. It will always bug me.

What business is it of anyone to invade my life and the way this guy was glaring, he could have done more than just glare if he was closer to me. As it was, he was standing clear across the lobby. I should have asked the jerk if he had bought an extra ticket to gawk at me, but as always, it was definitely not the time to draw an imaginary line in the sand.

The best I can hope for at my age I guess is that the younger LGBT transgender community has it easier.  Because I'm not changing.

We Got Mail!

The post on Trump banning transgender troops from the U.S. military garnered many comments, and rightfully so. I am going to try my best to get to all of them soon in no particular order.

From Jeni:" You have it wrong. 
Your Congress and Senate BACKED Trump's ban. 
Recall their behavior towards EVERYTHING positive that President Obama proposed or tried to get done. Now look at their either active support, or silence on blocking, for what Trump is doing. 
So who is making this ban happen?"

Granted Jeni. we have a Republican dominated congress, but if you recall, even they voted down the strongly anti transgender  "Hartzler Amendment" recently. Remember also, Trump's ban was a tweet , not even an executive order, so as of yet (as with much of of Trump's activity) no one yet has stepped up to activate it because it could change next week.

From Michelle: " I saw her interview last night as well as several other women who served and did local news interviews. I doubt that Frump will backtrack on his ban and I'm just waiting to to who else he will go after. I wonder which other government agencies he will include in his ban."

There were so many interviews Michelle, I am not sure which one you are writing about, but I agree with your point.

From Pat: "I was sorry that Kristin Beck failed in her race for Congress against Stenny Hoyer. Beck would have been a much more honorable member of Congress than Hoyer.

I thought that Caitlyn Jenner had reasonable comments about Trump's tweets. Remember tweets are not rules or regulations. They are not even executive orders. They have no force of law. I suggest that the most reasoned explanation of the current situation of Transgenders in the military would be the comments of Senator McCain. I think that we need to wait for Secretary Mattis to complete his study."

Jeni, this may help to clear up some of the confusion on what Tramp actually did.

Michelle went on to write: " Unfortunately I think that he starts a controversial item to draw the public's attention away from other matters that effect millions. The ploy is one that he's used in the past when someone is looking into his past life dealings."

So true!!!!

And, from Connie: "Whether a ban on trans troops comes to fruition or not is not so important now as the states of mind of the troops who have learned their Commander-in-Chief has deemed them undesirable. Imagine being embedded, voluntarily, in a war zone, knowing that your highest ranking official has given you a vote of no confidence. At the very least, it would have a negative effect on your morale. I just can't understand how this dufus can be so uncaring, yet I'm still more confused by the number of Americans who voted him into office. Maybe this will be the stupid move that finally changes their minds. I can only hope."

Thank you all for your insight! It means a lot.

Aim High and Work Back

I went to my transgender veteran support group yesterday and did get a chance to hear from the person who said she completed GRS on Medicare.

Questions here in Cyrsti's Condo ranged from how to total disbelief.

She said she found a doctor in Indianapolis, Indiana who would do the surgery and accepted Medicare and proceeded to jump through the hoops from there.

So, if you believe it or not, there was your answer!

Trump Frumps Again

In a not so surprising move, Trump banned all transgender troops from the military, leaving an estimated 15,000 troops or more in limbo. Frump of course never served his country prompting 20 year veteran and former Navy Seal Krisin Beck to call him out to a face to face meeting. Which we all know will never happen. What a shame. So close yet so far, and the U.S. takes another step backwards.

Kristin Beck

Ghost Shows

Liz and I are big fans of the paranormal, even to the point of being members of a now defunct group. Which disappointed me, but I got over it and should have I guess after my "connection" with the spirit world the last time we went anywhere. I think being dual spirited or gendered myself helped. Maybe someday we will get back involved again.

At any rate, there is a show on the "Travel Channel" called Ghost Adventures who had a show on featuring the Viper Room on the Sunset Strip. I wasn't really paying much attention until the host interviewed the Viper Room manager about the reports of paranormal activity in her club.

It didn't take long for my "trans-dar" to go crazy and I was sure the manager was a transgender woman. Liz is always harder to convince but even she said I was right, for a change.

The nice part was, the show never mentioned she was trans! This was the only image I could find.

Jazzin' It Up

If you follow Jazz Jenning's television show, you will know she has reached her sixteenth birthday and is actively searching for a surgeon to perform genital reassignment surgery on her. Without getting too technical, Jazz has run into several problems. First of all, Jazz has been on male hormone blockers since puberty and while she is completely passable, she now doesn't have enough penile material to create a proper size vagina.

She is also pursuing information on a procedure I had never heard of, when a vagina is fashioned out of a piece of the colon which has it's problems too. The doctors are telling her about excess mucous and even an odor for the first eight months or so.

At any rate, the show has really delved down into what a few of the problems with GRS can be.

Also, Jazz has a trans friend on the show who did not start with puberty blockers and has a harder time presenting as a woman. Both of the transgender girls provide an interesting backdrop and look into a trans teen's life, including dating.

Noelle

 
I am Jazz is on the "TLC" Network where I would hope you can stream back episodes.

Summertime and the Living Isn't Easy

As we enter six straight days of weather pushing the heat index to around 100 degrees (F), the good "old" Ohio summer has become real old- real fast, and it's only July.

No matter, I should not be wishing time away any faster at my age, but a relief from the heat would be nice!

Other than all of that, the status quo has ruled my life, other than the day at Walmart last week. We do have a group meeting this Friday at a local state park. I tend to take it for granted that I am being accepted as a person and not a transgender woman in the group. Probably because the experience is so rare.

And, next week, is another meeting of our transgender support group which always seems to be interesting. Plus I have not forgotten to ask Ms. Medicare GRS (genitalia reassignment surgery)  for details, if she shows up. Finally, there is another cross dresser/transgender social group meeting next Monday.

So ironically, life is moving as slow as a glacier in all this heat, but it keeps moving nonetheless.

Guess I better have my tank tops and capri's ready to go!

Not Funny!

Yesterday Liz and I went back to a rural Walmart to help with our groups bake sale. I have written about it before. It is not my fave place to be, spending a sunny pleasant (for a change) summer afternoon.

As we were sitting there, this goofy S.O.B walks up wearing a confederate T-shirt and a ball hat literally with two bills. He immediately stares at me, uses his hand and says "bang-bang." Of course I just glared waiting for his next move, when he said "I just like to make people laugh." I said, "Well, I'm not laughing." Finally, after an unpleasant pause, he mumbled something and went on his way.

Probably the worse part was, I wasn't sure if he was all there and had no real reason to single me out...or if he did.

One way or another, it was a situation I never need to face again, if I can. Plus, I suppose I had it coming sooner or later because our LGBT Pride event was so much fun. Momma Karma seems to be a realist and balances out the situation. Also, the whole damn place is not one I would be caught dead in (no pun intended) if I had a choice.

I also wonder if the the other people in my group who were there caught the true meaning of what he was doing, or not. Liz didn't happen to be there and was in the store. Or if I was on my own, per norm.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. I did of course, have the casual Walmart employee follower into the women's rest room with me. But, I am fairly used to that and find it slightly amusing because the store should put more effort into providing a clean rest room than following a transgender woman around.

The best part is, I think we are done going to that store at all! I am tired of Confederate flags.

Playing the LGBT Hits!

Here in Cincinnati we have a radio station which only plays hit music from the 50's and 60's.

When I get the chance to just sit back and listen, I just can't help think about the distance I have come over the years in reference to my gender dysporia.

I can only think wow as I have breakfast with my very accepting daughter and my youngest grandson. Plus of course, breakfast is only one example of how far I have come in solving the gender questions I had.

The Army and college were mixed in to the mix for good measure, as was a lengthy stint in a very dark closet.

Why did I get out? I wish I could say it was because of a series of very shrewd moves on my part, but rather destiny giving me a break after life went into a dark spin for me and I tried to end it. At that point I found there was so much more to live for, if I could just get there.

After more error than success, I found that even I could navigate the world as a transgender woman.

I wish I could answer in a more concise way, how I came to be at this point in my life. The only thing I can say is follow your soul and be a little patient and change will come.

And the hits just keep on coming!

Gender Reassignment Surgery

As I continue to "catch up" on all the back comments here in Cyrsti's Condo, I thought this one from Paula in the UK was highly significant, especially in the midst of the health care battle going on now in the U.S.

"Here in the UK our treatment is part of the NHS, certainly GRS is available, with top surgery also available for many MtoFs as well. Our medication is funded, yet electrolysis and other "cosmetic" treatments can be hard to get or not available depending on just where you live. 

Nobody will get NHS treatment before everybody is happy that they are ready, and that means socially and physically, after all this is major surgery and your need to be fit and healthy to get through it; there is also the "real life experience" which mean that we are expected to have lived in our true gender identity for some time (usually a couple of years) before being referred for surgery. It is worth noting that although the surgery is funded not all us will opt for it, taking the financial burden away makes it easier to focus on exactly what it is that is really needed."

Thanks Paula! 

I also know some individuals who don't think Medicare should cover Gender Reassignment Surgery at all in this country and they have their valid points too.

As far as the person goes who started this discussion, I won't see her until again until the latter part of July to garner any more information. In the meantime, I did ask my therapist and all she could say was she thought the person started with a doctor in the Indianapolis, Indiana area who did the surgery and took Medicare...then worked her way backwards from there.

I will try to find out more (as I said) from our next  LGBT transgender veteran meeting.

Cincinnati LGBT Pride and Mo'

First of all, I would like to pass along thanks to all of you who sent along condolences to Liz and I following her father's death. It meant a lot!
Second of all, it occurred to me I hadn't written a post concerning my day at this year's Cincinnati LGBT Pride celebration. The weather turned out to be flat out glorious for the day and the turn out was enormous. If you have never been to a big Pride event, people watching is a must!

I was in my element attempting to "peddle" our Ohio Valley Witches Ball T-Shirts, Cookbooks and Candy Bars. Plus, I could pass out brochures about the event. Something to the effect of if you get me talking, I can't shut up.

After being called "Ozzie Osbourne" once, I had a great day of acceptance and saw a wide range of folks from several other transgender woman friends, to some drag queens from Rude Paul's Drag Race. What sort of disappointed me was I had to wear a thick men's style T-Shirt from the Witches Ball to be like everyone else in the tent. But I survived.

Because of the weather, many lesbians just wore "pasties" over their nipples, so I suppose there was plenty of sun block used or plentiful sunburn the next day.

A little less harder to survive were the women's rest room facilities. Cincinnati has built a multi stall permanent restroom building in the park where the event was held along the Ohio River, complete with stainless steel prison style toilets. As I have mentioned on numerous occasions, don't assume women keep a rest room much better than men. It was hot, damp and littered with paper, bottles and cans. Needless to say, I did my best to squat and not sit on the toilet itself. As Liz told me, welcome to her world and at least it wasn't a "porta potty" of some sort. For those of you who don't know, a "porta potty" is a portable toilet not known to be anything thing other than gross.

All in all though, Pride was a wonderful time and I even got a little flirt from a couple "Bear" gay guys carrying their flag. Of course Liz noticed and offered to introduce me! I was "Skeerted", but they could have changed my outlook on life again I suppose.

So I can't wait for next year's Pride parade and festival!!!

In Passing

Mercifully, my father in law has passed on. It wasn't pretty, but it's finally over, except a viewing, funeral, etc.

The only words of wisdom I can bring to the whole affair is that I never thought I would ever have to put together an appropriate outfit for a funeral/viewing. When I look back at all my cross dressing years when passing meant everything, little did I realize that someday it would mean nothing.

Fortunately, I do have a somber outfit I can come up for the occasion, I think. Liz of course has the final say.

It is with a heavy heart, I leave you today with a tribute to a 91 year old man who really didn't have to welcome me into his family, but he did.

Pass in Peace Jim!