Tuesday, October 23, 2018

This Says it All

If you don't know, I'm responding to the rump administration's effort to erase transgender women and men everywhere.

I've come too far to go back.

Monday, October 22, 2018


Coming up tonight is another cross dresser - transgender support group meeting...with it's usual implications.

Several of the real negative types quit attending, including the one who was diagnosed with having an underdeveloped uterus and/or ovaries. She has rightfully declared herself as inter-sexed and I guess has developed  a perch to look down upon the rest of us. It's kind of sad, since I enjoyed hearing of her journey. She was just so negative.

Also the conservative rump supporters have quit coming , even though the moderators steer the conversation away from politics,  There are a few of the fetish satin types still around, as well as the steampunk trans woman.

We will also see if the desperately lonely suicidal transgender woman shows up tonight. The other suicide person just got a job (as herself) and seems to be sorting her life out, so all is better with her.

The group also used to have a few other trans vets too, but one moved to Oregon, one I haven't seen and the other is the negative inter-sexed person I wrote about earlier in the post.

So, all in all, it's a very interesting group.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Did Anyone See?

What I mean is the truck I got hit by yesterday. It was a long day. We started decorating for the witches ball about noon and we finished up the day around 3 am. I have decided to "retire" from working it next year, for several reasons not important to get into now.

The event itself was great fun and it brought back memories of past Halloween parties. I seemed to pass the litmus test of looking like a woman in a costume. Ironically, there was another trans woman I know (but see couldn't remember me) who set up a vendors table next to the table I was "manning". She used my excuse of short term memory loss. There was a possibility of another cross dresser - transgender woman there too. My partner Liz and I agreed "she" possibly suffered from testosterone poisoning at some point during life.

Of more importance, my costume actually fit and I thoroughly enjoyed wearing it except for when we came home and had to walk a block with a chilly wind on my legs and making the drive home in an unheated car.

Finally, I think since I felt good concerning my appearance, I felt good about my voice too. My cold has taken a brief respite, so I wasn't horse. I made an effort to throw my voice forward and not talk from the back of my throat.  Plus, I mostly talked in short sentences, so I didn't have a chance to strain it.

There are a couple pictures floating around. If I can get one, I will pass it along!

Saturday, October 20, 2018

A Day Off?

Well, not really a day off because today is the annual Cincinnati Witches Ball, which (since Liz and I are on a very small committee) will make for a very long day.

We have to be at the venue around noon to help set up, come home and put our costumes on and then go back for the event and the clean up. Which typically lasts till after 3 am.

I am tired already!

Maybe my acquaintance from last year will be here today. He is the one who came up to me and said something to the effect he couldn't tell I wasn't a "real" woman. I just told him I was a real woman...a transgender one.

Friday, October 19, 2018


It is difficult being original at Halloween if you are transgender or a cross dresser. Unless you are very good, trying to out "sexy" the cis- women is difficult, especially if you are going to someplace where "sexy" isn't in vogue...like to work.

Then there is the problem I have already written about, looking like a man in a woman's costume when you desperately don't want to. In my past, I have had that happen too many times at Halloween parties. A couple times I was mistaken for a "well dressed woman." But again, just trying to be original was nearly an impossible problem for me. So I always relied upon being the sexiest or best dressed woman I could. On occasion I did get the occasional compliment but never won any prizes.

Halloween though, presents as many different ideas there are for costumes and, as always, I can count on Connie to come up with another take:

"I just don't want to be mistaken for a man in a woman's costume."

This is exactly why I never "dressed as a woman" for Halloween. Although doing so makes for a good excuse to go out in public and show one's stuff, so to speak, it always seemed to me to be just that - an excuse. Now that I am secure in who I am, I know I need not make excuses or explanations for myself, and I think I always knew that, deep down. However, those are just my feelings about myself; I know it works well for others.

Although I've not done it yet, I think a good way of avoiding being mistaken for a man in a woman's costume would be to wear a gender-less costume - like a pumpkin or a tube of toothpaste.

Another thing I've been tempted to try is to cross dress as a man. I would still wear a bit of makeup and a shorter wig, though. I have but one hanger of menswear in the back of my closet, which is the suit, shirt and tie that I wore as I cross dressed for my sister-in-law's funeral service four years ago. I remember that wearing those clothes felt so foreign to me, even though I had been only about six months into my transition. Exposing my bald head, along with the suit, was enough to fool those who knew nothing of my transition, but I felt like more of a fraud than I ever did cross dressing as a woman. My sister-in-law had fully accepted my transition before her death, but there were still many family members and friends who knew nothing of it. The funeral was not an event for which I could come out to all, though. Now that the whole world has been exposed to the "authentic me" I think I could pull off being a woman in a man's costume. I'm still hesitant about looking at myself in a mirror with that suit on, though. It could be the scariest costume of all!"

Severl years ago, my partner Liz dressed essentially like her late father with a mustache and all and ended looking so much like him, she never tried it again. The resemblance was uncanny!

Thursday, October 18, 2018

The Bewitching Hour?

As Halloween draws ever closer, transgender women and cross dressers everywhere are scrambling to put their final touches on what costume they are planning to wear this year and where they are going to wear it.

I know many of you regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo also follow Stana's Femulate blog and have seen a few of her outstanding efforts around Halloween.

This year for the first time in several years, I am faced with the opportunity of having to put together two costumes for two separate events. The first, The Witches Ball I have written about extensively about but the second I haven't. Liz and I are considering going to a bar where the community of crossdressers I know goes too. The Witches Ball is this weekend, the other event is on the 27th.

I am not enamored anymore about wedging ourselves into a jam packed room but it might be fun to see a bunch of cross dressers tottering around on their impossibly high heels, or just see who really has an original costume idea.

Like I said, it remains to be seen if we go at all.

This afternoon, I have to see if I have have taken enough weight off to fit into my witches ball themed costume. This years' theme is "Mobsters and Monsters". As I have written before, the costume is a three piece black pin striped female mobster outfit. So, I hope it fits!

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Road Trip

Yesterday was my monthly LGBT Veterans support group meeting and my voice lesson at the Dayton, Ohio veterans hospital.

The trip north was fairly pleasurable under a bright cool fall day.

Since I have been working on my vocal homework after last month's embarrassing appointment, I think I moved my overall score up from a "F" to a "C". At least I earned the chance to move up again and work on phrases, breathing and overall vocal presentation. I still have to work on a daily basis to smooth out my voice, use my breath more to enunciate my words and still speak in a more sing song voice. I have been trying to temper my expectations on myself to keep them realistic. 

An hour later, it was time for my LGBT support group meeting. As I was waiting, an obvious butch lesbian showed up early for her appointment. As it turns out, she has the transgender VA Doc monitor her meds.

As we were talking she noticed my rainbow "VA Serves LGBT Veterans" bracelet. It was cute when she said "I'm the "L", so I replied I am the "T".

The waiting room was very quiet so ironically at one point when the trans doc came out, there were two transgender women and one lesbian in the room. Later, when more members of the group showed up, there were three lesbians and three transgender people. Including a trans guy who had just decided to come out of the closet. He was delightful too, so we enjoyed a nice meeting.

All in all, a successful road trip and it's nice to know I still haven't lost my touch with some of the lesbian community.

Plus, for once, the ride home in rush hour was almost livable.

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