Existing in a Male World from the Perspective of a Trans Man

Image from Nicola Dowie
on UnSplash. 

 

In response to yesterday's post praising transgender men, I received a comment from “Gio”, a trans man who follows my writings and thoughts.

Here is his comment word for word on what he has gone through during his transition from female to male:

“Thank you JJ for this nod. You know, they are a tough bunch, on the exterior. They are also exhausting. Try to teach them how to be a real gentleman and right out of the gate they label you a sissy. I always counter with being raised to respect and honor women. In the Italian Culture in which I was raised the women were savvy. The women in my family ran the show and they somehow left the men feeling like they were in charge. I witnessed this with my parents (first generation born in America) and my grandparents (immigrants - who escaped Mussolini; everything old becomes new again but that's another story). The Cis men I encounter, many of whom are wealthy Trump supporters, posit they own their women. She is to do what they say. A woman, if raped, deserved it because of how they acted or what they wore. It boggles my mind. So, I remind them that women are to be revered, they remain underpaid yet they have more talent than their male counterparts. I remind them that if married they took a vow to cherish and protect their wives. I could go on and on here. Suffice to say, it’s usually a bipartisan type of conversation and they often end pleasantly. Luckily, I've not been fired yet because mostly these are the people who keep me employed. I'm also amused by how they request me as their chauffeur to drive their wives and daughters. It's these little things that cause a ripple effect”. First of all, “Gio” thanks for the comment!

I really liked your insight into how exhausting men are because on the few times I went out with a man, I could not relax and be myself when I was catering to his ego. In my family growing up, we were a heavily male influenced crew but like you, mom ran the show from behind the scenes, so I learned a lot from her on how to be a woman, She is rolling over in her grave as we speak to hear of such a thing but it is true.

Fortunately, since I am retired, I don’t have to worry about working with any tRumpters and their backward gender ideas. But when I was employed, I always did my best to protect and advance the careers of the ciswomen around me. To the point of even hiring a transgender server at one of the restaurants I worked at. Sadly, I was transferred and she was fired by the next manager, but I tried to do my part.

Looking back, it was my love of sports and military service which kept me from wearing the “Sissy” tag early in my life and when I advanced as far as I did up the business ladder I was in, I understood that males form teams and I was able to benefit from that even though I detested everything I was doing most of the time when I needed to play the gender game I was in. Maybe the whole time, I was exhausted too about playing the male game and just wanted out to go to my transfeminine world. I took what my mom taught (more than dad) and was able to beat the system which was stacked against me.

When we are transgender, it is certainly a complicated world we live in when we need to go outside the confines of a so-called normal world. The old world is on its way out and hopefully a younger more progressive gender-neutral generation will power a better world. Especially for transgender men such as “Gio” who was kind enough to share his thoughts with us on his world.

 

The New "It" Girls?

Some times I wonder if I get excited about all the glitz and sometimes glamour of the sudden "it" value of being transgender.  Then I heard about Diane Sawyer and the upcoming Bruce Jenner interview and then found out trans woman  Zoey Tur, formerly known as “Chopper Bob,” would be joining "Inside Edition" as a special corespondent during February.  I thought damn! This is great until I saw the Zoey Tur piece. I don't whose idea was to dress her up like the stereotypical cross dresser at the mall but I just cringed and left the room.  Jenner indeed maybe the most serious and conscience person embarking on a MtF gender transition in the world- but the Kardashian media circus roots make me worry.


Now, I think the true future of the transgender community rests with individuals like the trans woman's story below:  

It was 2 a.m. when Danielle Piergallini composed an email to classmates at Vanderbilt University’s Owen Graduate School of Management announcing she was transgender. She had spent her first semester in the M.B.A. program presenting as male and worried what kind of response she would get after she clicked “send.” She now holds a senior position at American Airlines. 

Or:  
Marnie Florin, (left) who identifies as gender neutral and now works at Google, organized a trans training program at Columbia Business School last year after meeting an incoming transgender student.


If you noticed, both of these individuals come from a couple of very prestigious schools.  Great examples of how bright the future can be out of the bright circus lights being the new "It" culture! Much different than the "it" I used to be called.

"Gender Blender"

"The bravest thing to do is to be yourself

Let us explore an extraordinary journey of self. A self that has been suppressed for many, and by many, for ages. Together, we can experience the rare beauty of being Third Gender.
GENDER BLENDER  is a documentary featuring a human who never fit any mold. The film intimately explores the world of Lauren, a transgender female transitioning to become her ultimate expression: gender neutral."
Check out the trailer: In many ways over the years I have felt a certain attraction to the "third gender" idea. Like tonight when I had an invasion by two young raccoons in my house. I shifted to male mode quickly! Here's the movie's web site link.