Me Thinks He Protests too Much!

At our transgender support group meeting last night, I heard a self professed cross dresser say emphatically he couldn't be transgender because he likes women. The whole outburst was a little unnerving to me because he looked straight (no pun intended) at me when he said it.

I simply said, don't tell my cis-woman partner of five plus years I can't like women because I'm trans.

From there, and I am not sure he listened, other's in the room tried to explain the difference between gender (between the ears) and sexuality (between the legs).

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at his lack of understanding and hopefully a few more statements such as that will help him to understand. Plus, it just so happens, I know at least a couple more of the participants are married to, or live with cis women and a couple more participants are bi-sexual.

A learning experience for him to be sure. I hope a positive one.

Perhaps too, if you have heard the old saying "if a person protests too much they may have a skeleton or two dancing in their closet." He may be experiencing a fantasy or two keeping his skeletons dancing.

The Definitive Guide to---Us?

"Us" is similar to "they." The faceless minions in the world, not in the new movie.

If you use "us" as in the TGLBQ community, it's a serious deal especially to civilians. After all in a previous recent Cyrsti's Condo post, Connie and I discussed using the "she" pronoun at all when referring to Zoey Tur.

Perhaps you remember the Simmons College "SocialWork@Simmons" Blog we participated with here in the blog. Now Simmons is passing along a "Gender and Sexuality - Defining Terms for Everyday Use."

Here is the intro:  "Navigating the dialogue that surrounds gender and sexuality can be difficult. The terminology used by and for individuals along the gender spectrum is specific, and preferred usage can vary from individual to individual. Consider the acronym LGBT, which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. It’s used all the time in phrases like “LGBT community” and “LGBT rights.” Yet, some people and groups include a “Q” in the acronym to stand for questioning, while others include an “I” to stand for intersex. The language is adaptable and it is always evolving."

Since it is incredibly complex for "us" I can only imagine how confusing it is for "them."

Thanks for checking in Megan (on my email) and Chris for his work on the blog. Follow the link for an in depth look. 

Perhaps of all the terminology, "evolving" is the most profound.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

KerPlunk! Another Sunday Edition has hit your virtual front porch. This week, we are locked into 90 degree plus temperatures and humidity levels which make the heat feel into the 100's. Vintage Ohio. Our "Joe" (coffee) this morning is going to be iced.  Let's get started!

Page One-The Week that was-or Wasn't: On different ends of the transgender spectrum last week, "senior citizen" Caitlin Jenner won an ESPY Sports Courage Award and 14 year old teen trans girl Jazz Jenning's first "reality family show" debuted. Of course Jenner is (and will be) a lightning rod for anything transgender. And, even though I was conflicted about Jenner being chosen for the award-I thought she did a wonderful job of speaking to the tragic problem of teen transgender suicide. More than a few people continue to think no matter what, just throw religion at the trans (problem) and it will go away. With tragic consequences.


Page Two- "Jazzin it Up": Trans teen Jazz Jennings show was a delight. Of course, Jazz is no stranger to the spotlight. At the age of seven Jazz began to tell her story to the world-by choice. Seven years later she presents a unique look at a journey most of us could only dream of. Yet in the middle of Jazz's story comes another-just as compelling: what is a trans teen to do when dealing with boys who are struggling to come to grips with life as a man? Connie comments on Page Three.

Page Three- Shakin Your What? During episode one, Jazz compared her "problems" with boys compared to other girls. I paraphrase, but she said "all they had to do was stick their butts out and the boys would follow." Her point is not lost on any of us of any age. After all, the debate has raged for years on how a cis man who is attracted to a transgender woman be labeled. Gay, Bi or whatever. Still a debate for another time. In the meantime Connie commented:

"Socially, we've advanced to a point where women are recognized for their capabilities beyond house-wivery and the beck and call to their husband's sexual desires. Not that those things are any less important, as the expectation of them has never disappeared - at least they haven't, from most men's points of view. Transgender women cannot compete, as we're having to play a different game on a different play field. Even after taking advantage of all medical science has to offer, we may be able to attract a man, but our past will put the kibosh on most men's game.Transgender women who move into transition are making the move toward sexism, and the short end of it at that. 

Even after fighting the negativity of those who quote bible verses and amateur geneticists (funny, how this is the one thing upon which the two agree), a transgender woman who sticks her butt out must realize that she is, at the same time, sticking her neck out."

I love the last sentence!

Page Four-The Back Page: Well kids, time to wrap up this issue and move out into the tropics! As always, I love you all and wish you all peace love and happiness!!!!

Transgender Law

No it's not a new television show (unfortunately). My friend Bobbie was kind enough to send along this information from a police publication called "Dealing with Transgender Subjects". Here is an excerpt:

"Officers must often protect and serve members of special groups. Providing this service can bring challenges that demand agency guidance or targeted training. One such group that has rarely been seen or contacted by officers in the past has become empowered to step out and live openly in their communities. They are the transgender individuals. On every continent there is at least one culture that gives social recognition to individuals who don't fit the gender binary of male or female. Only until recently has medicine made it possible to match the individual to their appearance with surgical procedures. Our Western societies have forced these individuals underground (into "the closet") to survive by avoiding ridicule and persecution. Being transgender has nothing to do with who you are attracted to for sex; it is not attached to sexual attraction identifiers such as being gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual. You can be transgender and also be gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, straight, or none of the above. Being trans is about your gender identity; it's who you feel and know you are. Our society develops a spectrum of gender possibilities from ultra-masculine to ultra-feminine and every variation in-between."

Obviously it's refreshing to see law enforcement taking a look at the transgender community for what it really is. The huge majority of all of us are not sex workers or some sort of criminal up to no good. Which used to be the norm in how we were presented. Over the years I have been fortunate enough to be treated with respect in my dealings with law enforcement. Perhaps more information such as this will continue that trend for the entire transgender community.

Read more here.