Energy Shifts

Image from Max Bender
on UnSplash

Those of you (and us) who are fortunate enough to have lived for a period of time in the two binary genders (female and male) know there is a very definite energy shift between the two.

When you were forced to play the male game, if you wanted to be successful at all, you had to adjust to a game of frontal assaults. Often you needed to gain your energy through achieving goals in anything from sports to business. I know I had to play the game by doing my best to be excellent in my career choice, So I thought my friends and family would respect me more. It worked relatively well for me until I began to make the necessary adjustments I would need to move ever closer to learning how it would be to live as a transgender woman. If you are into labels, I was moving from being a part time cross dresser to being a fulltime transvestite all the way to accepting I was transgender. With each came a change in the energy I was experiencing with each. 

I equate the changes with having a similar success I had when I was cross dressing as a man. The more positives I experienced, the more I wanted to try. More importantly, everytime I was successful in the world as a woman, I was learning new levels of energy shifts.  The most important one was discovering women have just as strong (if not stronger) public energies as men. Initially I discovered the pressure of always being on stage. Not only were men looking at me critically, other women were also. The energy pressure was on to be able to blend in with the rest of the world as a transgender woman. 

Other pressures women face more than men are when they have to battle their own biological clocks. All of a sudden when they reach the age of thirty, many feel the pressure to have children and get married. When you think about it from the time women start puberty until they reach menopause isn't that long and not to mention women get to have psychical periods along the way too. Anyway you look at it, certainly the high maintenance gender. 

Even with all those gender energy variables, I enjoyed the MtF gender transition I went through. I never really enjoyed the frontal assault or confrontational existence I lived as a man. From my experiences I was able to adjust more completely and without much effort to the passive aggressive world of women. I just had to learn to guard my back from unexpected knives or claw marks from other women. My scars healed quickly and I was able to move on.

My cis-woman friends were able to protect me from most of the potential negative gender energy I was exposed to. As they did, I knew I had made the right choice in which gender energy I chose to finish my life.

Gender Energy Shift

Image from Riccardo Annandale
on UnSplash 

I remember years ago when I was still presenting primarily as a  man, every now and then unexpectedly someone would refer to me with feminine pronouns. 

Secretly of course I loved it but never could figure out why someone had cracked my male façade to see the true inner me. Many years later I thought I had discovered the reason why it happened. After I met my wife Liz, I began to search various forms of my spirituality and one of my searches led me to the concept that every person has an aura they project on the world around them. I quickly thought of the times I was called a woman while I was presenting as a man and thought at the time I was subconsciously projecting as a woman. I set out to remember the energy shift process and try to utilize it in my daily life when I ventured out of my gender closet.

Every time I was mis-gendered, I would concentrate harder on the next person. In other words, I tried to think woman in the strictest sense and change my aura so the next person would pick up on it. Sadly I don't have any scientific results but the process seemed to work for me. Perhaps too, the process was working because I had worked so hard to shift my gender energies as I came out as a fulltime transgender woman. I was helped when I didn't have to carry around the extra weight of trying my best to maintain two binary genders in one life. A terrific amount of weight was lifted when I decided my male past had to go in favor of a feminine future.

Along the way I learned too that most people are into their own little worlds and don't really care much about yours unless you somehow rudely invade their world. I found also there are some people who will always "read" you the wrong way, no matter how hard you try. It was difficult but I learned to put those people behind me and just move on as quick as I could. I know I wondered at the time, had my aura somehow slipped back into my old unwanted male self and had I possibly just grew too comfortable as my new transgender self.

Possibly, the biggest energy shift I experienced happened when I was able to begin living my dream as a trans woman. I felt so relieved and I knew I had worked so hard to achieve my dream, no one would ever be able to take it away. Very few of us live long enough to experience living out any of their goals, so anyway that I could I needed to enjoy the new gender energy shift I was experiencing. So far the buzz has never gone away.