Gender Energy Shift
|Image from Riccardo Annandale|
I remember years ago when I was still presenting primarily as a man, every now and then unexpectedly someone would refer to me with feminine pronouns.
Secretly of course I loved it but never could figure out why someone had cracked my male façade to see the true inner me. Many years later I thought I had discovered the reason why it happened. After I met my wife Liz, I began to search various forms of my spirituality and one of my searches led me to the concept that every person has an aura they project on the world around them. I quickly thought of the times I was called a woman while I was presenting as a man and thought at the time I was subconsciously projecting as a woman. I set out to remember the energy shift process and try to utilize it in my daily life when I ventured out of my gender closet.
Every time I was mis-gendered, I would concentrate harder on the next person. In other words, I tried to think woman in the strictest sense and change my aura so the next person would pick up on it. Sadly I don't have any scientific results but the process seemed to work for me. Perhaps too, the process was working because I had worked so hard to shift my gender energies as I came out as a fulltime transgender woman. I was helped when I didn't have to carry around the extra weight of trying my best to maintain two binary genders in one life. A terrific amount of weight was lifted when I decided my male past had to go in favor of a feminine future.
Along the way I learned too that most people are into their own little worlds and don't really care much about yours unless you somehow rudely invade their world. I found also there are some people who will always "read" you the wrong way, no matter how hard you try. It was difficult but I learned to put those people behind me and just move on as quick as I could. I know I wondered at the time, had my aura somehow slipped back into my old unwanted male self and had I possibly just grew too comfortable as my new transgender self.
Possibly, the biggest energy shift I experienced happened when I was able to begin living my dream as a trans woman. I felt so relieved and I knew I had worked so hard to achieve my dream, no one would ever be able to take it away. Very few of us live long enough to experience living out any of their goals, so anyway that I could I needed to enjoy the new gender energy shift I was experiencing. So far the buzz has never gone away.