Friday, May 31, 2013

Is Cross Dressing Addictive?

Is cross dressing the equivalent of a "gateway" drug? Can it be compared to  the "supposed" connection between marijuana and more addicting drugs?
No! Just as the greatest majority of partakers of the weed never venture into the destructive worlds of cocaine and heroine-just as many cross dressers never take the step into transsexualism.

Just for the sake of discussion though how would our lives have been if we presented as well as the "CD to TS" transition video I'm going to present on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. Here is my disclaimer no way do I think appearance leads to a transgender or transsexual life. It's much deeper than that. Now on to You Tube:

Thawing the Cold War - Again

I grew up within a 20 mile radius of one of America's biggest air bases. We were educated at a very early age as to the purpose of those B-52 bombers flying over our house. Thank goodness the "Cold War" thawed years ago but somehow I'm still fascinated with how far the "thaw" has come. Check out this video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Out and About

Cody (center) and friends
Congrats to another young transgender woman breaking the trans barrier and being elected prom queen at her school!

Cody Tubman, 18, who is graduating Saturday,will be Middleboro School's  first transgender student to become prom queen. Earlier,  Tubman said she felt she had a good chance of winning, but was still surprised when it was announced at the dance on Tuesday night. “It feels really good because when I was younger I looked up to Jeffree Star,” a transgender singer-songwriter, Tubman said. “It’s great that other kids might hear about this and feel more comfortable with who they are,” she added.

You can go here for more on the story, just ignore the younger sister's comments when she mis pronouns her sister twice in the same sentence.

What the Hell is Wrong with Kasich?

Most of  you Cyrsti's Condo readers know I'm from Ohio but probably fewer of you know the Governor is Republican John Kasich. The good news is at the start of his term in 2010, Gov. John Kasich renewed an executive order to protect gay state workers.  The bad news was he removed language about gender identity.

For the life of me, I can't understand why emotionally.  Why would Kasich on purpose exclude the transgender population of Ohio? At that point, I started to try to redirect my thinking to what politics is really about- behind the scenes power.

It's no real secret in Ohio and probably elsewhere opposition to equal transgender rights in any form comes from the social right which includes a huge entrenched religious base. So I tried to connect the dots between them and Kasich's desire to deny us with basic rights every American should be entitled to.

I don't know of course which group Kasich was catering to on this move. Perhaps it was a last ditch "line in the sand"   deal with right wing social and religious groups-to be compared with someone who will tolerate a transgender person in public until the person wants to use the bathroom. Or maybe some in the statehouse felt an approval by Kasich would set the stage for Ohio employees to fight for more transgender coverage in their insurance plans?

Like I said- no one called me from Columbus. Perhaps another idea could be  Kasich's "responsibility" to other Republicans in the Ohio legislature. What pressure came to bear from them?

On the positive side, the wind of change seems to be blowing in Columbus.  I recently read an article in the Columbus Dispatch detailing some of the changes:

"The 2010 election brought a wave of fresh Republicans to Columbus. And at the start of his term, Gov. John Kasich renewed an executive order to protect gay state workers but removed language about gender identity. “Largely, I think there’s a younger generation of Republicans that may be more open to this,” said Sen. Frank LaRose, R-Copley, who was elected in 2010 and is co-sponsoring the Senate bill.

 There’s also been growing support on the national level, including from U.S. Sen. Rob Portman of Ohio, who made headlines in March when he announced his support for gay marriage. “I think more and more, it’s not a partisan issue,” said state Rep. Nickie Antonio, D-Lakewood, who is co-sponsoring the House bill with Rep. Ross McGregor, R-Springfield. “We have fair-minded people on both sides of the aisle — I know we do.” Eighty of the top 98 employers listed on the JobsOhio website include sexual orientation in their anti-discrimination policies."

So, here we go again:

"After years of trying to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation, a bipartisan group of state lawmakers is mustering another attempt. The package is nearly identical to previous efforts and would add a number of anti-discrimination protections, including housing, wages, certain government contracts and mental-health services. A set of bills — one in the House and one in the Senate — are sponsored by two Republicans and two Democrats."

My problem is I don't see "gender orientation" included here.  Plus this final excerpt may be the dot I was trying to connect- explaining in part why we were excluded:

"Small-business advocates are wary of possible side effects. Any time lawmakers expand the discrimination umbrella, owners are vulnerable to costly lawsuits and court cases, said Chris Ferruso, legislative director for National Federation of Independent Business/Ohio. “It creates a new avenue for employers to be sued,” Ferruso said. He said the federation has reviewed the bill but has not officially sided either way."

This business dynamic could be changing too though.  To attract new progressive business to the state requires equal protection under the law for all employees. Showing support from the state level would give Ohio a chance to take another step out of the dark ages- before everyone else does that we are competing with.

As I said, time will tell.  For more of the article in the Dispatch go here.

Captain Cross Dresser

I love this video! Thanks to Angel for passing (no pun intended) it along for the Cyrsti's Condo big screen.  It's Captain Cross Dresser :

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Quote of the Day

"A lot of people disappear from view if they can no longer face a mirror...."

I didn't write this and it is taken out of context, but if you just sit and think about it- it makes a lot of sense!

A touch of Korean for your Thursday

From Xinmsn Entertainment :

"Harisu made a shocking debut in 2001. When the beauty with a voluptuous body revealed her Adam’s apple in a TV commercial, the term “transgender” was brought to the forefront in Korea for the first time. And unlike other sexual minorities, Harisu has been catapulted to stardom suited to her stage name, which originates from the term “hot issue.”

Since then, she had enjoyed huge popularity as a singer, actress and entertainer on TV shows and has often been described as “more beautiful than women.” She left the spotlight in 2007 after marrying celebrity Mickey Jung but recently returned in the musical “Drag Queen” in which she plays a show girl."

This is actually part of a very revealing interview with Harisu as she talks about familiar topics within the transgender community.  Prejudice, suicide as well as the omnipresent criticism from within from Trans Nazi's and others are discussed.  Follow the link above for a look.

Long Cool Organic Woman

The other day here in Cyrsti's Condo, I mentioned my fascination with style and the genetic woman and how it carries over into my transgender world.

I see style (no pun intended) as bits and pieces of reality- clothes, shoes etc assembled in a process dominated by the senses.

A couple recent examples I can think of were my meeting with Stana of Femulate and a woman I saw on my book store trip the other day.  Stana is what I refer to as a "niner". She dresses to the nines. From head to toe she has in her mind what she wants to look like, acquires the items to do and does it well!  The other example was a woman going through a parking lot headed for a small group of three or four stores. I will call her the ultimate "organic woman". Tall and slim, she was wearing what appeared to be a long cotton skirt, short sleeved top and a woven sash around her waste with sandals-of course. Just for kicks and giggles, I waited a second to see if she was going into one of the stores which happened to be an organic food store. Of course she was!

From the closeted cross dresser to SRS transsexual, we certainly have done battles with the style "demons". I could start another blog with mine and in fact recently did battle with my makeup demons. As you remember.

It is easy to say we didn't have the benefit of moms, sisters or girlfriends to play with our style during our lives and it used to be you couldn't even begin to purchase any stylish clothes in larger feminine sizes. Today we have the benefit of so many on line style sites which can help us to close the style gap and needless to say there are many clothing store options in all price ranges to do it.

You must be patient though.  One word of advice is to observe women in your age bracket. Remember the "over done" and the "under done" and put yourself in the middle. BUT specifically remember the the pleasant ones who are put together just right. Dressing to the nines can indeed be a jeans inspired outfit.

More than likely if you don't become the ugly cross dresser at the mall stereo type (big blond wig and tiny mini with 4 inch heels), you will be fine.  In my case it seems the whole world notices I'm trans someday's and other times no one.

Here's the fun part:  Being a girl allows you to experiment and change your look with the seasons. Who knows? Maybe the next time I see "organic woman" she will be tripping the light fantastic in her four inch heels?

Finally, a few basics.  Sit down and listen to your inner feminine soul and visualize how she wants to be presented. Remember, there will be tons of trial and error along the way. Don't get discouraged. As a genetic woman would tell you "welcome to our world". And the biggest one of all: own who you are and how you look-the world will notice.


Wow! I think I'm a couple days late on this Cyrsti's Condo "HorrorScope"!
Better late than never with this one:

Libra (September 23-October 22): You know how bullshit sounds, and it’s never very pretty, unless it’s coming out of your mouth. Yes, you know how to make even the worst predicament sound enticing. It’s your talent and this is your week to exploit that skill. However, stay conscious of your lies now, because you sometimes are so good that you wind up believing in them too.

Really? Well if I said anything right now, you wouldn't believe me anyhow?
As always this is a "scope" for all of us Libra's. For the rest of you unfortunates go here to

Plus, while you are there check out "Becoming Diana: One Transgender Woman's Journey to Self Acceptance" or "Girl Talk: I transitioned from female to male."

I have mentioned theFrisky before- they on occasion pass along really in depth transition transgender stories!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Every Kid's Dream?

This Saturday the Children's network The Hub is introducing an animated series with a new super-heroine named SheZow  Turns out  that SheZow's alter-ego is actually a 12-year-old boy named Guy.  Guy magically  transforms into a female costumed crime-fighter by uttering the phrase "You Go Girl!" and using a power ring inherited from his dead aunt. 
ShaZam! How I would have loved a ring like that when I was 12! I'm pretty sure I would have "misplaced" the ring when it was time to switch back!

As I was looking at the above pix, I noticed the girl behind SheZow and her raised eyebrow thinking Wow I wish I looked as good in those boots. The kid on the floor? Typical first time reaction from insecure male. Tomorrow, he will be asking to borrow the ring.

Go to the Los Angeles Times  to catch more on this upcoming series and then figure out how to commandeer the television from your kids to watch it.

My Life in a Bottle

No Silly's!!!!
I know you were thinking a Jaegermeister bottle.

I'm talking about a pill bottle and all the meds I'm taking.  In essence I have become my Dad in the chase to ingest the most legal substances into my body before I die. I used to think Wow! I hope I don't get to that point but guess what? I'm here and about 20 years early. 

Now, I know no one twisted my arm and said Cyrsti you are going to start HRT or we will make you watch back to back Dr. Phil shows into eternity. 

And of course there are the medications for my other problems. Luckily my "Spiro" lowers blood pressure along with my testosterone, so that's cool.

Plus, I have to take my aspirin a day and huge multi vitamins which look as if they could be prescribed for a horse.

Now, my biggest problem is trying to remember if I took what pill when and I know there is another pill to help me with that. My Doc has told me a permanent magic marker is not the way to go.

All is pretty good now. After all I still sitting here writing this and those little blue pills the pharmacist hollered across the store about -were indeed estrogen not Viagra.

So dammit again! I so wanted to be that virile middle aged guy in the dessert stopping to buy a bottle of water to keep his overheated classic car running! The pharmacist screwed up!

OK kids, here you go. I'm using one of the most over used ridiculous terms of all times: "It is what it is.".  Just what the hell is it and why do I have to accept it?

I do have to accept my life in a bottle to get to where I want to go as a transgender woman. The problem is when they tell you not to be in the Jaegermeister bottle with some of these drugs, they mean it. So bottom line "it is what it is" - dammit!

A Musical Transgender Blond

For all you birthday peeps here in Cyrsti's Condo, this is for you!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013


DUDE! Lose the beard!!!
From Odd Stuff Magazine comes the second coming of Conchita Wurst. No not bratwurst or mettwurst...Conchita.

I had to read this a couple of times to figure out where the writer was really coming from-or where Conchita was. She wrote:

"When I saw the picture I said (very politically incorrect) “Yikes“, when I saw a performance I said “Oh… well…” and when I saw more I said “She will go to Eurovision for Austria“. Conchita Wurst is a fictional character and has come to fame through the recent Austrian casting show “Die Große Chance” in which she came 6th, despite having won the second semi-final.

Wurst (German for sausage) is a woman with a beard, which is exotic enough, but when you hear her sing it’s even more surprising. Her real name is Tom Neuwirth, a shop window decorator who made it (as himself) to the final of the 2007 version of Starmania (He had his coming out during the show). In the final he was beat by no other than Nadine Beiler, who represented Austria this year in Düsseldorf. The Kronenzeitung suggests that the Eurovision application as Conchita Wurst may be an attempt of Neuwirth’s at revenge."

So I guess it's really Tom all along?

This is definitely not Eurovision's first encounter with anything which even hints at a man with a beard singing like a woman.  Back in 1998 Israel's transsexual performer Dana International won the competition. Could it be a shake up in the staid and transphobic American Idol show will break the trans barrier next season? OMG what's next-same sex marriage?

Anyhow, here's a 2012 look at Dana on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

The Moving Parts of a Woman

Disclaimer! I shop for two things I use to ship my Etsy and Ebay items from a certain leading big box store which I feel has done more to destroy the inner fabric of America than any other.  I refer to them as the "Nazi's" and I buy regionally produced cardboard boxes at literally pennies on the dollar and Scotch Tape.

This morning as I went to the shipping section at the Nazi's, I had a rare chance to see two women in my town at the same time who made the almost "beautiful" category.  First of all, I am and have been a "student" of women. I have said and written many times on how long it took me to figure out why I didn't have a sexual attraction to genetic females per se' but wanted so badly to be one. To have the hair flowing in the breeze, to be able to fill out a tight pair of jeans or shirt without padding.

This morning I mentally stopped to consider the many moving parts a woman has to contend with and how I was checking them down in my mind- and finally how did all of this relate to me a transgender woman on HRT.

Obviously, I don't live in Hollywood or down in Miami where all the very beautiful people are. Actually, I don't fare too badly with the lot of genetic women around here who do nothing for themselves physically. So I don't know if that is good or bad.

Plus a woman's look is like a poker hand. You hold some good cards like breasts, hair or legs but lose the hand in other areas like face or proportion.  If you care, naturally you try to build up the positives and bluff the opponent into thinking you have the winning hand.

You know I have heard seemingly 16 zillion times from my genetic women friends "welcome to our world".  I know it's all in good fun but sometimes I don't think they realize I'm a "A"  student of their world and loving to finally get some on the job training.

A big part of the training is knowing "parts is not parts" when you are talking about a woman.  Any sort of skill I can acquire in the big picture furthers the success of my "moving parts".

MO Dave MO!

If one Dave Foley in drag video is good on Cyrsti's Condo big screen-then how about one more?

Monday, May 27, 2013

It's Hot in Italy

I have concluded there are probably at least two million videos on YouTube to pass along on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. A virtual plethora of cross dressers, transgender, transsexuals and drag queens. Here's another.

Hello? Is Anyone in Here?

Over the years of my life various individuals have asked me "are you in there?"
Good question!

I'm sure others have thought there could be more than one of me once they knew about my transgender status.  Truthfully, I have thought long and hard about that very possibility and thought one of me was plenty to deal with.

Of course I also have the well worked "woman trapped in a man's body" deal. Nope, not so true either. I'm still just me. Which brings me to make up day recently.

Alisha, the makeup guru, was good with more than just her art. She already knew how I recoiled at being compared with a drag queen and said I didn't identify with being a cross dresser either. (Nothing wrong with one or the other.) So basically she said "I don't understand, tell me who you are."

Good question!  Without going into a ton of boring detail I just said my inner person identifies female and I am working to present her as effectively I can to the rest of the world. None of the usual jabbering I'm good at.

Then again, maybe I'm just dealing in semantics? Maybe just saying "I'm a man trapped in a woman's body" would have played just as well.

It wouldn't have mattered-I was still facing the dreaded eyebrow tweezers anyhow!

Sunday, May 26, 2013


Alice, thanks so much for your comment on my "makeover" yesterday:

" Cyrsti, you look fantastic ! It must have been an empowering experience, you sound as if you totally enjoyed your makeover." Alice.

First of all thanks for the wonderful compliment! Secondly, I began to think about the "empowerment" experience you mentioned. Of course in the estrogen laden room yesterday, I guess just being allowed to play was cool even if there were sales potentials for the organizers. That's all good too! I love capitalism.

Alice, you are right I do have a healthy dose of empowerment following the day.  The most difficult part of my life right now continues to be the in between place I'm in with the world. Of course nearly a year and half ago, I was able to put the wigs away and wear my own hair. My own hair was  hugely empowering and now I'm faced with an equally big place-body changes. It has taken me awhile due to small dosages and HRT interruptions along the way. But now I feel another stage of changes coming along with my skin and body and how I relate it to the picture.

Along my transition process, I have been able to glimpse my inner girl here and there in the mirror.  Regardless of any value judgement of beauty queen good looks, or glamour shots or whatever- the picture was a straight up picture of me taken from Alisha's phone.  Bottom line was I could see my inner girl more than ever before in my life. Even I was floored.

So Alice, I do like this feminine empowerment.  Future makeup sessions will be much less scary and much more fun and any skill I can development with my public skills will be huge!

Thanks for the comment!

Cross Dressed Over Dressed?

Or should I say "under dressed"? From YouTube on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Attack of the Tweezer Monster!

Saturday was my makeup makeover with the MaryKay makeup Guru Alisha.
First of all before I set off on my usual cynical ramble-she is good.

Today was my chance to put my face where my makeup history used to be.  To prove my point to myself and Alisha and Niki (a newer Mary Kay person) I went out the door for the first time in my life as a girl-with no makeup.  Jeans, top and sun glasses kids- that is it.

As I drove the 30 min trek to the studio, I did have a chance to reflect back to points of my life which got me here. I'm a gender contradiction in terms for more than just the obvious.  Over 50 years of tossing on a dress and heels did very little to prepare me for the last five.  Once again today I had very few ideas of what I was going to expect.  I know what you are thinking Cyrsti, how bad could it be playing with makeup experts for a couple hours?

It was wonderful EXCEPT for Alisha's penchant for the perfect eyebrow...out came the tweezers and OUCH! Sympathy? Hell no girl if you want to play with the real women hitch up your big girl panties! The scary part is she said my brows had a nice shape to them to start and I relaxed.  That's like the dentist saying you only have one cavity...but....two hours later she is still drilling away. The same happened with the tweezers.

OK, I know a little about this big girl panty stuff and I know you have to pay the price for beauty but girls when the "tweezer monster" attacks it's similar to a whole flock of itty bitty crows attacking your brows.

Awwwright- enough of the petty whining and on to the fun stuff such as someone who knows what she's doing tell me what sort of foundation I should really wear and what the hell was up with the black, goth, trampy, slut eye make up I had on in the pictures?  What the hell? Did she have to take the research on me so seriously? Did she make phone calls to several current and past makeup critics of mine whose kindest words were "heavy handed makeup or drag queen inspired" Hey, it's true but did I have to hear it- again. 

Just playing with you kids, that was exactly why I was there...naked faced for the guru to see. I'm very honest and blunt so I checked the ego when I hitched up the big girl panties and took this on. It helped knowing we transgender girls and crossdressers  have to work harder than  genetic women to put our best foot forward. This was a way to do it.

Finally, I have a giant wedgie from hitching my panties up to the girls and posting a picture from this afternoon. I desperately hate my pictures and my hair was totally trashed in this picture but I really think she exceeded my expectations. I loved the look of the foundation and how Alisha brought out blue eyes I didn't know I had after 63 years. She even worked on my Mom's non existent upper lip I inherited. AND look at those BEAUTIFUL eyebrows...dammit!

Happy is a big- mostly unobtainable word for me. Happy was never bred into me. But I'm forcing myself to be satisfied and I am more than satisfied with this forcing.

As the immediate future with increased HRT dosages begins to exact more changes, basic skin care will be more and more important to maintain my 30 something looks! Kidding again but seriously if you are in the Dayton, Ohio area and want to get hooked up with Alisha or Niki, just contact me through the blog.

Just one more finally.  The women did an excellent job of using the correct pronoun with me. It meant a lot!

Trans Troops

As a transgender vet, one of my priorities here in Cyrsti's Condo is passing along any transgender related service news I can find.
Much of it comes from OutServe Magazine.

This story from OutServe certainly has a "been there-done it" ring to it.  But in this one Evan Young comes from the different side of the gender fence for most of us trans girls here. You see, Evan is a transgender man in the military:

"Underneath my cover, I walk a straight line, returning salutes as I pass. A sergeant salutes and says, “Good morning, Sir.” A warm glow flushes my cheeks, and I reply, “Good morning!” Closer to work a familiar face draws near and salutes; “Good morning, Ma’am.” A heavy feeling of discontent weighs on me, and I return the salute with the grudging reply, “Good morning.” I am a transgender military officer.

Outside of work, I live my life as a man. Once on post, I am female. My short hair and manly features present an androgynous and confusing appearance. I grew up in Arkansas, and knew that many outsiders perceived women there as “barefoot and pregnant” rednecks. That stereotype drove me to move out of the state and join the Army. I wanted to be on an equal footing with men. I found new confidence along the way as my drive to exceed expectations helped me rise through the ranks. Yet, I always had the feeling of being a second class soldier because of my gender. Males have confidence ingrained in them at an early age. Men are encouraged to stand up for themselves and speak their mind. When they don’t, they are often labeled effeminate or called derogatory terms such as faggot or princess. The “stereotypical male” role is enforced by men as well as women. A woman speaking to a man that seems effeminate will treat him differently."

I have several transgender veteran friends who have wondered with me what life would be like in today's military as a trans person-walking a precarious gender line.

To read more of Evan's insight,  look here.

Three Reasons Not to Go Trans Stealth

Recently I read a post by Autumn Sandeen called "Paying it forward for future generations of trans people".
You regular visitors here in Cyrsti's Condo know how I feel about transgender women or men transitioning into another closet-which is called stealth. And of course Autumn is completely correct in her assessment of  "paying forward" into the trans community.

I have three powerful reasons not to run away and hide as a transgender woman- my grand kids.This afternoon I had yet another powerful opportunity to pay forward to my grand kids. Who I'm out to. It was my first chance to talk to them about how great the Boy Scout inclusion move was. But, as I was told it was only a beginning and they couldn't wait to show me some sort of new "badges" to wear on their uniforms.

I know what you are thinking, Cyrsti got side tracked again and forgot Autumn! Relax!  Here is her beginning thoughts:

"Why should I personally go forward as a trans activist pushing for change? Why do anything for trans and LGBT community members when I have received a significant amount of pushback through the years from the religious right, LGBT community members, radical lesbian feminist separatists and even transsexual separatists? I’ve written in the past about why there is trans activism and what are the major goals of trans activism, but have never really spelled out what motivates me personally."

As always she presents a very through and cohesive look at her thoughts.(Unlike some of us!) To read it go here.

I Know You Are Out There

To all transgender veterans active or retired - alive or fallen - let me share my bit of thanks to all of you.

I know most all of you are (or were) stuck in the military closet with only two ways out...discharge or death.

The Memorial Day weekend for you international Cyrsti's Condo readers is to honor our veterans as well as police and firemen who died for our freedom to challenge what is wrong here and abroad.

Ironically though, facts and figures routinely come to light which estimate a very high percentage of transgender military troops to have served. Sadly,we will never know how many of the fallen were trans. In addition, I personally have known at least three trans firefighters and or policemen.  The very first responders to senseless violence in our country.

Regardless of all the insane discrimination against us:
ALL I want to say is:  to all of you who fought and passed for my right to write this blog and to all of you who are still serving in a camouflage closet...

Thanks to all you! I know you are out there!

Friday, May 24, 2013

It's a Drag at the Pool!

I found this humorous YouTube video for you girls on the Crysti's Condo big screen. Naturally you guys can watch it too but at points in time you all know- as we transition the "swim suit" issue becomes huge. In fact just recently  a transgender girlfriend of mine was stressing trying to get her swimsuit together for an upcoming vacation. I wish I had her "problem" with a body like hers!

Last fall my genetic girlfriend asked me if I wanted to bring along a swimsuit to swim in the hotel pool/hot tub and I balked at the idea.  Truthfully, even though I know how to swim, I have never been a huge fan of the water so a swimsuit has never been a priority even if  I could wear one.

I do think as I look at the HRT changes my body is going through, I can diet my way into a swimsuit sometime in my future. But don't look for me anytime soon on a remake of Baywatch.

Here's the video I mentioned from another person who doesn't have much of a problem in a swimsuit...or does she?


Just in the nick of time (almost) I received my new increased estrogen dosage in the mail today!

To make sure I didn't run totally out, I started rationing my supply about a month ago. I started going down to a two thirds a day dosage and then to a one third dosage this week.

My new prescription should preclude any major interruptions in supply until at least late this fall. If you remember last summer, my whole regimen was wrecked for about 3 months while the Veteran's Administration bureaucracy took it's good old sweet time to work.

So, at least for the time being all looks clear on the HRT horizon and my endo doc has promised to really get serious with me on any breast development ideas he may have except the plastic surgeon down the hall-this fall.

In the meantime, I finding some wood to knock...not that I'm superstitious!

Doing Drag in the Hall

On Cyrsti's Condo big screen a classic episode from the television show "Kid's in the Hall. Dave Foley was known to do some great drag and in this scene he play's a hooker:  I really wanted an outfit like that for Halloween back then (or now)

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Huge Step For Scouting

From ABC News:

" The Boy Scouts of America today voted to lift its longtime national ban on admitting openly gay Scouts but will continue to exclude openly gay adults from leadership roles. The vote by its 1,400 national membership came as no surprise to gay rights advocates, who hailed it as a first step to ending discriminatory practices in the 103-year-old organization.

The Boy Scouts said that it had completed its "most comprehensive listening exercise in Scouting's history" on the issue and will change its policy Jan. 1, 2014. "The Boy Scouts of America will not sacrifice its mission, or the youth served by the movement, by allowing the organization to be consumed by a single, divisive and unresolved societal issue," it said in a statement.

 "While people have different opinions about this policy, we can all agree that kids are better off when they are in Scouting," it said. "Going forward, our Scouting family will continue to focus on reaching and serving youth in order to help them grow into good, strong citizens. America's youth need Scouting, and by focusing on the goals that unite us, we can continue to accomplish incredible things for young people and the communities we serve." President of the Boy Scouts of America Wayne Perry, in a press conference following the vote, said, "This is a very difficult decision for a lot of people, but we're moving forward together. ... Our vision is to serve every kid."

I am so happy my ten year old grandson does not have to leave the Boy Scouts he loves with his Dad as he said he would if the organization continued to exclude LGBT people.!!!

The Fight Goes On!

A transgender woman has filed a human rights complaint against a Canadian bridal shop after the owner stopped her from trying on wedding dresses.

 Rohit Singh (left), in Saskatoon, was told “Sorry we don’t allow men to wear dresses here”,’ Singh said. ‘I said I’m not a man, I’m transgender.’ Singh has now filed a formal complaint with the Saskatchewan Human Rights Commission. ‘It’s not just my battle,’ she said. ‘It’s the battle for all the transgender community, which are discriminated day by day from all society.’

 Singh's story has a good ending as not only is she keeping the spotlight on the owner of the first shop, she also took money out of the transphobic owners pocket by purchasing a red gown at My Lynh Bridal, just a six minute drive away, where she described the service as excellent. She got married at the end of April.

 As the management of a certain large fast food chicken chain has learned, a financial slap by the gay community can be a powerful deterrent to public homophobic stances.  We just have to do the same in the transgender community. Even if you went from the home closet to the stealth closet.

 For more on the story go here.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Enza Anderson

Enza "Supermodel" Anderson (born in 1964 in Toronto) is a Canadian transgender political activist and media personality.

No Love for Santa

Poor Nicole!  All those years as a young boy waiting and hoping for the jolly "St. Nick" to bring him his own Barbie. All he got were guns and trucks.
One day though, he just knew he would show the world and own his own Barbie doll.

Well, the transsexual youth spent 200,000 pounds and 12 years transforming himself from a boy into a real life Barbie doll. Proof positive dreams can come true-with enough cash.

Jason Torres,  now Nicole Sanders, (above) has had surgeries from nose jobs to breast implants and brow lifts in a quest to be like the iconic blonde. Nicole even had controversial silicone injections in her buttocks, thighs and hips to create the feminine curves of Barbie and hide the boyish frame of her previous life. Since the age of 18, Nicole has had five boob jobs, four nose jobs, a brow lift, cheek implants, jaw surgery, chin implants, calf implants, filler injections in her lips, botox jabs and sexual reassignment surgery. There is more here.

Proof positive Nicole didn't need no stinkin Santa for her Barbie and all those cookies left under the tree for the "jolly one" didn't go to waste.
Most importantly, I can go to bed tonight knowing my Christmas spirit is intact!

Don't Ask Don't Tell ...Her Age

The great majority of transgender transition videos I pass along on the Cyrsti's Condo Big Screen are from the "millennium" 20 something generation. I'm not so sure there are proportionately more  trans women and men in the age group but they have a working knowledge of the social medias to appear they do.

This YouTube video is from a transgender woman who was 38 when this was done in 2012 which makes her more towards the "cougar" end of the spectrum and not the "dinosaur" like me!

I think it's a good find

The "Passive Aggressive" Compliment

A passive aggressive compliment sounds like a contradiction in terms-right? Very much not so in the world of feminine communication and interaction.

I used to write about the feminine socialization process more here in Cysti's Condo than I do now. Of course the more you do it, the easier the process becomes. Plus, as an added bit of spice, when you throw my transgender status into the mix-everything gets more interesting! Women just don't know exactly how to take me.

First of all the "passive aggressive" feminine dynamic is well understood. A man's power system is based on an internal sense of power.  Can he out muscle, out spend or in some other direct way "win" over another guy-easy to comprehend or I will smack you.

But as with most all human existence women have a much more complex approach.  As I have written here, I'm much more likely to have problems with other women in the world but rarely face to face. When a face to face does occur though many times the process is the other woman sizing me up. Years ago,  these were my first experiences with a "passive aggressive" compliment.

Ironically, the whole process laid dormant in my noggin full of old stuff area until a couple of television shows reawakened my interest. Specifically, Comedy Central has a show with comedian Amy Schumer. She has a very funny but true compliment clip and you can go here to see it. The other show is called Girl Code on MTV and many times their whole show is an indirect lesson on feminine communication.

Both shows reinforced my earliest communication lessons. I learned to not listen to the words as much as how they are spoken- and more importantly what was not said.  Here's an example. I could be wearing the ugliest scarf ever but that very scarf could have been the conversation starter with a woman I didn't know.  Indeed she may have been using the passive aggressive compliment on my scarf to do a little research on me.

Regardless of what you regular readers may think, sometimes I am a quick learner. Rapidly I too played the compliment card and I began to really enjoy the mental jousting.

If I am going to joust, I figure I need all the information I can find and recently Girl Code on television and theFrisky on line keep me really up to date on how younger women view their own communication-with each other-with no men in the way. The process works for me since of course I missed so much feminine interaction in my life and I'm trying to learn and catch up.

Oh, by the way- you look great and I know you knew all of this and I really do like that new scarf you just bought and.....

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Artistry of Cross Dressing

Every once in a while I run across yet another video I just have to pass along on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. This one illustrates the true power of drag illusion:

Top Ten Transgender Woman

From TransGriot:

"The White House will honor ten TBLG officials on Harvey Milk Day and one of them will be a girl like us. Kim Coco Iwamoto, who is serving her first term on the state of Hawaii's Civil Rights Commission and previously served the state as an elected member of the Hawaii State Board of Education, is one of the people being honored on Wednesday, Harvey Milk's birthday as a Harvey Milk Champion of Change"

For more, go here.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Horror Scope

Again boys and girls it's time to part the mists here in Cyrsti's Condo and view the stars with this weeks "HorrorScope!

"Libra: (September 23-October 22): You need to be five steps ahead of the competition — including your self-sabotaging side that can get lost in the fury, rather than bathing in the fire. Yes, action and words need to sync up, so work it from your gut. Being fast on your feet is your ticket to being heard rather than trampled on, so make sure you don’t get caught with your pants down."

The stars nailed it this week!  I have always had a self-destructive side that at one point in time I tried to blame my transgender spirit for. Syncing my words up with what I really mean has always been an adventure too.  As far as getting caught with my pants down-is that similar to seeing more of the moon than the stars?

As always, "Horrorscope" is my term and you can go to theFrisky for your own "scope"!


Everyonce in a while Mother Karma comes along and lays a big fat gooey Smooch on me. The latest one was this morning and I am still trying to dry off.

This morning I made the half hour trip to my daughter's to pick up most of my meds  the VA sent me.Because of school winding down, none my grand kids (approximately 12, 8 and 5) were home at the time. This morning  we had a rare one on one moment to just chat.

Along the way, the conversation centered on my 8 year old grandson who of course managed to do something totally dumb to keep himself out the final days of school activities.  Since he did, my daughter followed up with an equal amount of home punishment-including maybe missing a boy scout meeting.

At that point she asked me if I had been following the LGBT drama with the scouts. Well of course I have and have made a point to sign the on line petitions for a pro open scouting organization.

Perhaps you remember the stir which was created when the young transgender girl tried to join a girl scout troop not so long ago? Well, my daughter used the example to open a discussion door with my grand daughter about the transgender community and how close it was to her- really close!  As with most kids her age she really could care less except for a little natural curiosity and the subject was pretty much closed for awhile.

When the first debates and protests began to stir within the Boy Scout organization of the course the topic of the kids transgender grandparent came around front and center-again. Mom and Dad gave grandson his choice of staying or going if the Boy Scouts continued to ban LGBT peeps. He said, he had a good time and would prefer to stay. Understandable. But now he has changed his tune.  Recently the group had a big open meeting in Dayton on the subject. Of course the usual group of unreasoning bigots were there spouting who knows what. Well it worked with my grandson. After the meeting he announced he wanted nothing to do with the Boy Scouts if they excluded people like his transgender grandparent!

I'm rarely speechless and luckily my hormone level was down because of VA screw ups so I didn't talk and cry with pride at the same time!. I could only blurt out I was so damned proud of the kid and his parents!

Now, can't we do something about cutting back on that punishment?

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Dayton Ohio Area Girls!

Ok girls, do you remember my post about the new Mary Kay makeup person who wanted to "borrow my face" to work on?
This is what grew out of it:

First, I'm not naive enough to think I know all there is about basic skin care and I believe totally in the clean canvas to work from but what I really need is for someone who knows what they are doing to work with me on colors and contouring. 

I was referred at this point  to "makeup guru" Alisha Manley. We covered a lot of ground quickly in our first conversation. Bless her heart, she mentioned her cousin was a drag queen and then said that probably meant very little to me. Cool, the last makeup style I'm looking for is a drag queen's.  I do need to look like an everyday woman who is not wearing much makeup but does a quality job of working with what she does wear. Plus, I do recognize the challenge of working with my male based features.To get there I do need to know the background skill needed to make it happen.

AND! Alisha is holding a makeup workshop this coming Saturday for a couple hours at her studio. Here's the deal:
10 available spots by RSVP. It will be $25/person, $20 may be redeemed as a product credit. It will be from 2 to 4pm in her studio on 5/25/13 (Saturday).
I'm leaving it to you to follow the link below for the studio location.

AND! Here is her Bio:

Raised in a nontraditional environment, Alisha began studying the "illusion of beauty" at a very young age watching her mother work in the Night Life as a bar owner. Her favorite past time growing up was planning "Showtime" with her cousin, who later debuted as the ever popular drag queen, Blair Saunders.

 She began her makeup training at age 12 while enrolled in Barbizon, modeling school where she later became one of their most popular instructors while teaching there during her college years. Since she never grew physically as tall as her personality, she began doing pageants at age 12 instead of modeling. She was a fierce pageant competitor for 20 years earning the title of Mrs. Ohio 2001 and winning costume at the Mrs. United States pageant along with top 20.

 Alisha earned an Engineering Degree from the University of Dayton and trained in Makeup Artistry under the legendary, Hollywood Makeup Artist, Tony Caine before his passing. Presently, she teaches her "Illusion of Beauty" through her Magic Makers Unit as a Director in Qualification through Mary Kay Cosmetics. She has honed her teaching style also as a part time Faculty member at the University of Dayton in Human Factors Engineering and she is a full time Executive with Hobart Service, working as the National Safety Manager.

 Beauty is an Illusion...Let me show you how to create your best image.

AND! Here is where you can contact her for more info.

Alisha Manley, Independent Beauty Consultant Future Sales Director

Finally, for all you shy girls (me included) this is a chance to go into an understanding environment and improve your image to the world.

Bra Ban Bucket List

Have you read the Milwaukee bra ban has been lifted and now the city is busting out? Or were they just a bunch of boobs anyhow?
OK, enough already! First, here is part of the story from Yahoo News:

"The Milwaukee bra ban has been lifted, which means these articles of underwear can hang from the rafters once again at a local bar. Bras were banned in Milwaukee, but this didn't mean the town was full of women bouncing along the sidewalk, the bra ban only pertained to a bar. This unique drinking establishment is a place where bras dangle off the ceiling as a tradition that has gone on for about a half of a century, according to the Inquistr on May 18, 2013. The Holler House, an establishment that's been in operation for about 100 years, began a tradition about 45 years ago, where women started filling up the ceiling with bras."

I can now rest easier! The bra ban was certainly one of my top topics to worry about along with the North Koreans and global warming.

Actually, I have been to a couple taverns where bra "tossing" was not banned. (Is that some sort of Constitutional Amendment in Ohio?) Women had the right to vote and to wear a bra in a bar? Wow! My take on it always was "damn, I wish I was the one tossing my bra". Or I really would love a set of breasts like hers for my own! Plus, I was checking out the collection of bras hanging from the ceiling to get an idea of what style I wanted to own. The guys I was drinking with were trying to figure out how to get a woman out of some of the bras and I was trying to figure out how to get into the bra.

Well, of course I didn't and had two problems-the first was having natural boobs and the know how to get the bra off under my top- which women seem to learn as a rite of adolescence. The effect would have definitely lessened if my silicone breast forms had hit the floor in the Holler House! OOPS! Then there would have been some "hollering"!

Well, years later HRT is beginning to solve problem #1 and problem #2 turned to be one of those feminine mystic issues which wasn't so difficult to master. Some would argue all the time I should have spent in a straight jacket would have prepared me for a Harry Houdini style escape from a bra.

Congratulations to all you transgender and transsexual women in Milwaukee. The right to wear or not wear your bra in a bar must be truly intoxicating (or is that the beer?). I just have to think though some of you girls can't wait to show off those breasts of yours under that tight T-shirt!

You know what the girls say "if you got it...flaunt it!" Someday I want to get to a point where I can take my frilly bra off at the bar somewhere and add it to the collection!

A Television "TV" Classic

I know, A bad take off on the old transvestite / T.V. pun but this classic video of beautiful female impersonator Micheal Andrews is anything but but bad and sure fire pick for the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. It's from one of the several "Mike Hammer" shows produced over the years. This one is with Stacy Keach:

Cross Dressing Anime

After finding this "Top 5: Favorite Cross Dressers / Gender Benders in Anime list, I tossed aside the idea I don't get out much...well at least that's not true on the web.

I knew cross dressing was relatively wide spread in Anime, but I had never seen a list or explanations. Here is my favorite of the five, number two on their list:

"2. Mariya Shidou (Maria Holic) Okay, so this one surprised me the first time around. I don’t know how many people watch Maria Holic (or have heard of it), but Mariya Shidou is actually a boy cross-dressing in order to attend a prestigious all-girl’s high school. His grandmother was the original chairman of the school and, for exact reasons I won’t reveal here, the only way for him to follow her legacy is by attending the school himself. It takes a lot of guts to attend an all-girl’s school just to become chairman. Props for that. But the craziest part about all this is that Mariya’s disguise is so perfect that he becomes the ideal type for the lesbian protagonist, Kanako Miyamae. Twist! Why do I love this character? Because although he has the face of an angel, he is as sinister as the devil and finds enjoyment torturing the poor Kanako in his free time. Kanako just can’t resist his feminine charms, even when she knows his chest is fake. Mariya is a killer beauty, but he has determination! Nothing, not even attending an all-girl’s school, will stop him from becoming chairman!"

I love the site bio too:

"Population GO is made up of a team passionate about geek and otaku culture. Our goal is to entertain, inform, and most importantly, provide GO content to those who share the same love and appreciation. This is a place for geeks, otaku, nerds, fanboys and fangirls alike."

Go here for more!

Boy Meets Girl Movie

As you may have concluded, certainly Cyrsti wasn't going to pass along just any old pull out the chocolate chip ice cream and a box of tissues chick flick on our Condo big screen. This movie is actually about a young transgender woman...played by a transgender actress! Such a radical idea!!!!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

"Trans Victim" Revisit

I am fortunate to have received quite a bit of intelligent feedback on the "Victim" post here in Cyrsti's Condo and from outside friends. The post actually came from Helen Boyd's "En Gender" blog.

 The first comes from Paula Gee: " It's simply not fair, especially if we were misguided enough not to tell our wives about our selves before marriage. Yes any form a trans activity is selfish, and we have to understand that and deal with it."

The second from Reasonablynoble:

"As much as I've always included my spouse in my transition, it is an inherently narcissistic process. We spend so much time not focusing on ourselves that by the time we do this, we are wholly fascinated by our selves. It's hard to avoid navel gazing. At the same time, there are other people in my life and I have always been mindful about how my healing has both been a positive and negative for them. This is a healing process and it can, ultimately, make things better for everyone around us."

I'm agreeing with both and using my past and current relationships as a guideline. For whatever reason, misguided or not I told my second wife of 25 years I was a transvestite or cross dresser before we were married. So I didn't tell the truth.  As I think about it, if you put me under oath I would swear to the fact I knew there was probably something deeper going on with my gender identification but I was prepared to do my best to not follow it.

On the other hand, my current female lover is sure total love transcends gender and I'm fairly certain holds my deceased wife's views against her in someways. But it's not that easy and as wonderful as she is, I remind her she "caught up" with me after a ton of life experience and she is lucky. I knew who I was when we met.  Because as both of the ladies above mentioned, the cross dressing  through identifying as transgender or transsexual is, a hugely selfish process. Certainly,  for obvious reasons, we are fascinated by ourselves. I was no different.

The negative as Reasonably said "We spend so much time not focusing on ourselves that by the time we do this, we are wholly fascinated by our selves."  So,  if we can't or don't share ourselves with others- we are only a reflection in the mirror and doomed to a damned lonely existence. As you can see on Flickr or any number of other picture sites so many of us never get out of the mirror or the camera. Those who finally make it into the "real" world are naturally stunted. Not unlike the boy who was raised by wolves. My "anti mirror" friend examples are Drake and Stana who positively light up the room with their chance to live as their real gender.

In recent years as I jumped from my mirror into the world, I acquired a pedestal. You may have read me refer to it here. Sure, experiences such as developing a circle of friends, HRT  and the such are fantastic. BUT none of it makes me any better-or worse in the trans community.  I certainly have to constantly reevaluate where my life is, where I would love it to go and how precarious my "pedestal" really is. It's STILL  just as easy for me to be a victim as the frustrated cross dresser in the closet or the bitter transsexual who discovers SRS wasn't what she really wanted.

Of course I'm not smart enough to come up with an answer. I have been fortunate to have known all sort of peeps who revolve in and out of our culture from a long time friend who will go to any extent to rationalize purging his cross dressing "habit" 25 years ago because of wife and money to unhappy transsexuals to everyone in between.

Every once in a while though someone like Helen Boyd and Betty are able to put a little more perspective to the issue.

I am smart enough to know surgery is the end result to a successful gender transition not the beginning.

Well, this post has gone on so long I should be passing out cookies and milk to all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Maybe I should consider a post called "The Transsexual as a Victim" when I really want to get ganged up on!!!!

Transgender Spouses in the Military

Seemingly, when it rains it pours with posts concerning transgender veterans and their interaction when serving on active duty and after they are discharged.

You regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know I am a transgender Viet Nam era veteran of the U.S Army, so of course I have a very active interest in all the happenings.

Another very active source for news is Out Serve Magazine and in particular Brynn Tannehill who writes:

"In the past few months, same sex military partners have been part of the collective American conversation. When the Fort Bragg Spouse’s Club resorted to naked discrimination and active condescension to keep Ashley Broadway out, it was splashed all over the news. When Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta extended as many benefits as possible to married same sex partners under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the LGB community celebrated. When the Supreme Court heard oral arguments on the constitutionality of Article III of DOMA, the plight of same sex military couples was front and center in the reasons for striking the law down. However, as all this was going on, I realized that another situation has gone unmentioned. What happens when the spouse of a military person is transgender? Some might argue that this is a very rare situation, and doesn’t need attention. However, my recent interactions with a number of transgender people associated with the military say that this situation is far more common than people realize.

A few weeks ago a trans woman in the Dayton area sent me a message asking me if I remembered a female colonel I worked for while I was still on active duty. I did, and replied that I liked her because she generally had a good read on who everyone in the command was and what they were doing. What she wrote next blew my mind. “She came out as a lesbian after she retired in 2008. We’re married now.” A little further digging revealed that they had met and gotten married after the trans woman had transitioned. However, because of military regulations and DOMA, the trans woman did not have base access, Tricare, or any of the other benefits the spouse of a retired colonel would normally have. In short, the military regards them as a same sex couple. But my marriage is regarded as a heterosexual one because I transitioned after we were married, even though in both cases we are trans women married to another woman.

At about the same time, I also spoke with a trans man in the military. He talked about the difficulties he and his boyfriend, a civilian trans man who lives in Washington DC, expect if they get married. Another situation that came up in discussion recently was a trans woman (MTF) I know who is closeted, but on active duty. She is married to a trans man (FTM) who is just starting transition. When the trans man civilian spouse went to medical to start hormone therapy, they refused to treat him unless his spouse came in and verified that she knew what was happening and approved.

Given all of these situations, figuring out which marriages the government will regard as gay or straight is a mind boggling exercise in one of the grayest areas of law. In the case of the retired colonel, the marriage is gay, but only because the trans woman transitioned before the marriage and wasn’t born in Idaho, Ohio, Tennessee, or Texas (where birth certificate gender changes are not legally allowed). However, the two trans men may or may not be a gay marriage, depending if the one in DC changed his SSN gender marker before or after they got married. The trans woman in the military married to a trans man is a heterosexual couple, but the trans man can’t change his gender in DEERS because of DOMA."

In addition, I live close to the Dayton, Ohio area mentioned above.

At the least- as Brynn wrote- this whole situation deals in the deepest shade of gender gray there is and this just scratches the surface. To read more go here.

Transgender Vet News

From the ThinkProgress site:

"Despite the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the military still does not allow people who are transgender to serve.

Still, many people only transition after they’ve completed their service, creating complications for their continued receipt of benefits. Now, the Pentagon has recognized its first gender change for a military veteran and established a process — albeit a bit burdensome one — for future trans vets to do the same. Blogger and activist Autumn Sandeen was informed earlier this month that the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) has been updated to show her gender as female. Department of Defense spokesman Lt. Cmdr. Nathan Christensen provided the following statement to BuzzFeed: For the last several years, the Department has made requested changes to gender in the Defense Eligibility Enrollment Reporting System (DEERS) for military retirees.

Autumn Sandeen
A gender change in DEERS may be accomplished by the retiree presenting the following documents: - A letter from the doctor who performed the surgery, documenting completion of a gender reassignment surgery - A court order, legally changing the gender in accordance with applicable state law - An original birth certificate - A document, reflecting the sponsor’s name and if applicable, gender following completion of the gender reassignment procedure for a spouse The Department will not change a gender in DEERS if it results in a loss of benefits to the spouse of the retired member due to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). The last point is noteworthy, in that the military is committed to making sure retirees receive spousal benefits without conflicting with the limitations of DOMA."

Of course there is much more to this process of interest to all of us transgender to read more.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Coffee with Stana

Thursday afternoon I did get to meet with Stana who writes the Femulate blog for a cup of coffee!
This was remarkable for several different reasons.

The first of course was geography. She lives nearly twelve hours away by car and airline connections are so loose between our two cities, it's quicker for her to drive than fly.
The second of which is the extreme rarity of meeting another transgender women who actually shares a number of life experiences with me.
The third is she is a blogging superstar. Her "Femulate" just went over some seven and a half million hits...Okay, I told you I was a 'groupie"!

Impressions? She is gorgeous! But more importantly though she seemed to be a genuinely nice person who radiates woman. You can jump over to her blog here to check out what she was wearing when we had coffee. With all those legs of hers, there was a poor guy trying to check in who couldn't seem to concentrate on staying in line.

But enough of all of that. Sharing a "cup o joe" with her was a true pleasure!

Victim is Spelled Many Ways

The En Gender Blog written by "My Wife Betty" author Helen Boyd comes up with quite a few "Damn I wish I had written that" thoughts. Here's one:

"I wrote this recently in response to a question, or an assertion, that nobody chooses to be born trans, but that often, the advice is that you can choose what to do about it. My wife says that a lot, and it makes some trans people unhappy.

 The way she puts it: you got a shit hand, but you still get to decide how to play it. Whether or not transition itself is a choice is an idea I will leave for another day. But here, in a nutshell, are some basic tenets I hope are useful. does it matter why? i don’t know what trans is – genetic, medical condition, etc. no one makes any distinction between nature/nurture anymore. nature is what? DNA? as in, something made out of protein that is created within a physical environment which is impacted by all our culture. just forget it. that binary is over, done with.

 Are people trans? yes. do they need to transition? yes. should they own their shit & do so as responsibly as possible? yes. should cis people start to fucking understand transness is not going anywhere, that it IS, in the same way that, say, queerness IS? yes.

 If you got married & you’re trans & you’re going to transition you’re going to wreck your wife’s life, pretty much. own it. minimize the damage however you can. your life was already wrecked by transphobia and represssion and who knows what else. your transition will give you the chance to change in a way that you’re looking forward to. your wife may, in turn, change her life into something she wants, too, but in either case, you will both experience a great deal of loss. none of it is fair, not a damn thing about it, & not for anyone. but stop, STOP, making it all about you.

 If there is anything i say to trans people all the time that none of you listen to – & that includes my lovely spouse – that is it. as she likes to say: trans people make Narcissus weep."

Enough said!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

She Will Say It All!

I've followed this young transgender woman on YouTube for awhile and have been entertained with many of her videos which are a bit "out there" but all in all very entertaining.
The one I'm passing along on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen is when she slows down a bit and explains who she is.  I find soooo many YouTube peeps who have no idea of how they identify or want to hide it it.
Enjoy one who doesn't:

A look at my Other Half

I live in Ohio. Middle America USA. Sure it has it's drawbacks and it's strengths.  I'm over 60 and causcasian and transgender.  Many love to hate on me because I supposedly lived male privilege to the max and now I'm trying to change.

Regardless of all of that I do not know how young transgender women of color live. The women whose names all too often show up in the news as the victims of extreme violence. The closest I have come in person was a young trans girl I met in person who was originally from Detroit, migrated to the west coast and in her own words spent some "fun" nights in Los Angeles's "tranny jail". Toss a heroin addiction on top of all of that and here she was standing in front of me...proud as hell. Wow! I was impressed and told her so but then again words are cheap.

Recently Out News & Opinion presented a fantastic look at how my other half lives in an area I know A little about since I lived in the NYC area several years ago:

"Transgender immigrants flock to Jackson Heights in pursuit of a dream. Prostitution, drugs, and violence trap the unwary. Chadwick Moore spent three months with the girls to find out why they still come. Photography by Kevin Amato Arena’s been at it for three years. It’s nearly midnight on a frigid Thursday in January. She looks like someone’s daughter awaiting a ride to the mall, sitting perpendicularly on her twin-size bed with her back against the wall and her size 11 feet dangling over the edge. Her pink sheets are patterned with Betty Boop lip prints. In about four hours Arena will hit the streets, which she hates doing. It’s dangerous and lowly, but no clients have called today. Arena is Spanish for “sand.” Tonight she’s nostalgic. “I was in Indiana when I began the transition with hormones,” she says. The change occurred quickly and caught her off-guard. One afternoon she passed a mirror and became tearful. “I thought, Oh my god, I look just like my mother.” It was the happiest moment of her life. Arena’s V-neck shirt betrays a rash spreading over her torso -- large, red abscesses that look concerning -- but she likes this shirt because it buoys her modest cleavage. And this cleavage is what brought Arena to Queens and funneled her into the sex trade. Once she makes enough money for breast implants, she’s out of here. She’s not built for city life -- she downright hates it. It’s apparent in her hypnotic gentleness. She moves like a shy teenage girl adjusting to a sudden growth spurt. Her face is soft and round, her gaze thoughtful and submissive, and small patches of acne kiss each cheek. Her eyes periodically meet mine, and I wonder how much of her coquettish innocence is calculated."

This is a long post with many pictures and you can visit it here.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Million Dollar Candis Cayne

"Bravo" Television has a show called Million Dollar Listing".
I'm always interested in the show because the basis is a group of very high end real estate sales brokers selling property in New York and Los Angeles I could only dream of ever buying.

Today's show got my attention though when one of the prospective buyers was none other than the beautiful transgender actress Candis Cayne".

Candis if possible is even more beautiful in this show.
Go here for more pix! Many of the shows are rebroadcast on satellite television so you may be able to see her episode relatively easily.

Follow the Bouncing Hormones

I hate being in the "I think" mode as far as my HRT meds go.
As I passed along to you recently, I was making my medication transition again between my endocrinologist and the Veteran's Administration.
As far as I can tell by talking to my VA nurse is the new prescriptions have been filled and are in the system.

That should be all the system means another possible ten days before the new estrogen and spiro can get to me. Plus I will have to wait until the meds get here until I can tell for sure if the new dosages are correct.

I'm having a problem with the old prescriptions cancelling out until the new ones will start.
While this process sorts itself out, I'm carefully monitoring my dwindling supplies of both meds. On the good side,  I seem to have a couple nurses in both offices on my side I can communicate with. So "I think" all is okay.

In the meantime the spiking up or down of my hormones has not made me a happy camper the last couple of days. I even had a fairly decent hot flash yesterday which is tied into hormonal imbalance.

Am I sending myself through a HRT menopause?

Just For Fun!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Plastic Surgery and Gender Reassignment and Beyond

This is the second time recently Behold-The Photo Blog has featured several transgender or cross dresser photos.  Here is the latest:

"Michelle Sank is interested in young people and the issues they face. One of her early projects, called "Bye Bye-Baby," explores the way boys and girls interpret their understanding of masculinity and femininity. Following suit, her more recent series, “In My Skin,” deals with the pressure young people feel from media and pop culture to achieve a specific physical standard."

And of course a couple of the featured photos. The first on the right is MtF transgender Cambell.

The second is John  transgender FtM (below) and now identifies gender neutral.

Here are a couple links for more. The first is Michelle Sank's and the second is The Photo Blog.

Quote of the Day

‘You can’t live a lie and spend your life feeling sad’ – Pammy Rose.

Who is Pammy Rose? She is a transgender finalist in the Sunderland Echo "Face of 2013" competition.

" Now Pammy Rose wants to tell her story of transformation, courage and determination in a bid to inspire other young people to just be themselves. Cara Houchen reports. TRANNY, puff, sick, freak – I’ve had every vile insult you can think of shouted at me over the years,” explained Pammy Rose.  Born Paul Witten, the 20-year-old from Seaham always knew she was different and when I went to meet her and her mum Julie Olds, she explained why she now feels ready to tell her story.  “I want to stand up and speak out so hopefully people like me can stop hiding who they are, stop being afraid and just be happy and feel accepted,” she said.  “I’m in a good place at the minute, but it hasn’t always been like that.”

Go here for more.

Follow Up

Zagria was kind enough to send me a comment on my post concerning the former beauty contest winner of the Miss Tiffany Universe 2009 contest, Sorrawee "Jazz" Nattee who recently entered the monkhood on Sunday at a temple in the southern province of Songkhl.

Zagria said she had seen Buddhist Nuns when she went to Thailand.

Of course by then, I had to do a little research on the subject since it had occurred to me what would happen if "Jazz" surfaced in the future attempting to be a transgender Buddhist Monk.

Without spending hours searching for information, here is a quick look at what I found: (Highly Edited)

"Buddhist women, including nuns, have faced harsh discrimination by Buddhist institutions in Asia for centuries. at the beginning, with the historical Buddha. As told in "The First Buddhist Women," the Buddha originally refused to ordain women as nuns. He said that allowing women into the sangha would cause his teachings to survive only half as long –- 500 years instead of a 1,000. The Buddha's cousin Ananda asked if there was any reason women could not realize enlightenment and enter Nirvana as well as men. The Buddha admitted there was no reason a woman could not be enlightened.

 Women, Ananda, having gone forth are able to realize the fruit of stream-attainment or the fruit of once-returning or the fruit of non-returning or arahantship," he said" Some scholars point to discrepancies between the Pali Bhikkuni Vinaya (the section of the Pali Canon dealing with the rules for nuns) and other versions of the texts, and suggest the more odious rules were added after the Buddha's death. Wherever they came from, over the centuries the rules were used in many parts of Asia to discourage women from being ordained.

 When the orders of nuns died out in India and Sri Lanka centuries ago, conservatives used the rules that called for monks and nuns to be present at nuns’ ordination to prevent the institution of new orders. Only recently has the ordination problem been solved by allowing properly ordained nuns from other parts of Asia to travel to ordination ceremonies. However, the establishment of nuns' orders in Tibet, where there had been no nuns before, for some time met with resistance. Even today, in some parts of Asia nuns receive less education and financial support than monks."

As with any religion of course- "Buddhist doctrines on the enlightenment of women are contradictory. There is no one institutional authority that speaks for all Buddhism. The myriad schools and sects do not follow the same scriptures; texts that are central to some schools are not recognized as authentic by others. And the scriptures disagree." Sound familiar to all of us Christians?

Finally :"On the other hand, the Vimilakirti Sutra teaches that maleness and femaleness, like other phenomenal distinctions, are essentially unreal. "With this in mind, the Buddha said, ’In all things, there is neither male nor female.’" The Vimilakirti is an essential text in several Mahayana schools, including Tibetan and Zen Buddhism."

So there you go. If you would to follow the link I did go here and to jump over to Zagria's great blog go here.

Russell Saylor

Russell is a true "Lost Girl" as he does drag in the movie! Go here for more links.

Monday, May 13, 2013


"Arr-right" kids, time to part the mist here in Cyrsti's Condo" and look at this week's "HorrorScope":

"Libra: (September 23- October 22) A little spontaneity never hurt, but that requires action. Be proactive with new ideas. Rather than trying to sort your goals out before you begin, give yourself over to the process and open one door to see where it leads. It will be a lot less scary than you think."

The only scary part of this scope is I have always been excused of being too spontaneous on occasion! Well, a girl has to do what a girl has to do! Look out world!

Of course I'm not selfish and go here for your very own "scope" from theFrisky.
From the Bangkok Post:

"The winner of the Miss Tiffany Universe 2009 contest, Sorrawee "Jazz" Nattee, entered the monkhood on Sunday at a temple in the southern province of Songkhla, it was reported on Monday. According to the family of the transsexual beauty pageant winner, Jazz, 24, had breast implants but never had transgender surgery. The silicon implants had since been removed. "I want to be a monk for the rest of my life and I'm ready to leave my worldly possessions behind," Jazz said after becoming a monk at Wat Liab in his home province. "It's not that I've become a monk to run away from problems, but I've studied dharma for two years and now know what it truly is." The monk, whose ordination name is Phra Maha Viriyo Bhikku, which means one who is diligent, said he took part in the transsexual beauty contest four years ago because his parents urged him to."

In case you didn't know, only males can become Buddhist monks in Thailand.

Home Sweet Home?

I'm from Ohio and I know it is not known as the most progressive state in the country but now we have a chance to join 21 other states and do the right thing.
From WSKU News:

Legislation introduced Friday in the Ohio Senate aims to expand Ohio’s workplace discrimination laws. The Equal Housing and Employment Act adds sexual orientation and gender identity to existing law, which prohibits discrimination based on age, race, religion and disability. The bill’s sponsors include State Sens. Frank LaRose of Akron, a Republican, and Democrat Michael Skindell of Lakewood. Republican Ross McGregor of Springfield and Democrat Nickie Antonio of Lakewood are sponsoring the companion bill in the Ohio House. To date, 21 states and the District of Columbia have enacted similar laws. The Ohio bill contains an exemption for religious organizations, and businesses with fewer than 15 employees. In a recent poll, 79 percent of Ohio voters supported equal rights regardless of sexual orientation.

You did notice the lack of "gender orientation" in that survey though!

Drag Queen Transformation

If you think you have seen one and you may have seen all the cross dressing male to female transformations on You Tube, here is another on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

"Dream Scene"

An excellent chance to get out of the cross dressing closet and let your girl flags fly:

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mom's Day

From YouTube on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Mom's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of you reading this!

Every year here in Cyrsti's Condo, the day gives me a chance to pause and collect my thoughts about the most important person in my life. She birthed and raised me of course but I was a "third" try following two still born's.

For right or wrong, she was who she was and genetically there is no doubt the apple didn't fall from the tree with me. in resemblance and personality I favored her and my brother my Dad. At the end of the day, she was a fighter more than a lover. In fact I can't remember her telling me she loved me...but I know in her own way she did.

It has taken me years to figure out her electro shock therapy offer to me.  After my stint in the Army I came home for a short while. One night when I came home from drinking with my friends she was waiting up for me. I don't know how the topic came up but quickly I admitted to her I was a transvestite.  She had to have had suspicions as I was growing up. I wasn't that good at hiding my "secret". So she asked point blank and I answered the same way.  Just as quickly point blank she offered electro shock therapy as a solution. I simply said "look, for the first time in my life I was able to tell a close group of friends and for once I'm not ashamed of who I am-I'm sure as hell not going back."

This was 1975 and she passed in the late 1980's at the age of 76 and the subject was never mentioned again. For years I used her words as motivation as how not to act.

I have to be careful because though we are so much alike. My sarcastic sense of everything and the ability to be dumb enough to express all those thoughts too quickly come to mind. As I have found out recently, my breast development under HRT will be attributed to her genetics and my wonderful head of hair I love comes from her genes too.

Here's the part I have taken so long to understand though. Her simple belief in radical therapy to "fix" me was just as simple as my belief there was nothing wrong. Both of us were as determined as the other. So Mom- thanks a lot!

As the years have gone by, her World War Two/Great Depression mentality shaped her personality. She was a no doubter and a educated high school teacher. If you didn't know where you stood, you weren't paying attention.

So Mom, on this Mother's Day let me put into words what you couldn't...I love you. Now I have to go wipe the tears out of my eyes...damn hormones!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Damn Lesbians!

Well, not exactly or at all but maybe the title got your attention.
What I was referring to was a recent interview with Jennifer Finney Boylan and Joy Behar. Of course one of the questions just had to include those pesky sexual preference labels for Jennifer and long term wife. Here it is on Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

It "Ain't Over till it's Over"

I found out today once again I have to jump through more VA hoops to get my HRT meds. Plus, my formerly rather limited interaction in my local clinic public isn't so limited any longer.

As I have written, due to staffing limitations at my VA hospital I have to go to an outside Doc to approve my meds then get them approved for filling in the system. The problem is now my VA primary physician was changed and now I have to go through all the chaos to be approved by another. Also, I'm treated at my local clinic not the nearby hospital.

First I had to schedule an appointment with my new Doc and told to come in and have blood labs this morning. Then by this afternoon I was told forget the appointment all I needed was a treatment form filled out by my endo doc and all would be cool. Well if you believe that, I will find some old bridge around here to sell you. Plus, I was the center of attention at the clinic while everyone decided what should be done.

By the end of the day, I'm sure the former invisible trans patient in the clinic was now very visible. The only positive is that I have names and faces of people on both ends of the docs I deal with and a small stash of meds to use until this plays out. Excuse me for not thinking this will be positive painless process.  But as sure as the wasted blood tests this morning  I will get it done. 

In the meantime, I didn't need that extra blood anyway.