Cross Style

Whatever label we want to stick on ourselves-cross dresser, transgender, gender fluid or whatever, our style becomes an integral part of us.  As we make the migration into the girls sandbox of the high maintenance gender, style is as big a part of our lives as most of the genetic women in the world.

Of course most of us (of age)  go through our formative cross dressing years without much guidance.  We knew what we wanted to look like from the confines of our masculine world.  If guys thought we looked like women, we passed and all was good.  Then of course, if we pursued it further, we found the world put so many other expectations on us as we transitioned.  As I have mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo and beat it to death in "Stilettos on Thin Ice" (my book), when you play in the girls sandbox you need their approval to go forth in the world.  Everyone looks at women-especially other women.

I write often here in the Condo about my style which although it has always ran counter to many of the other cross dressers I met along the way is still a definite style.  Similar to the great majority of genetic women.  (The ones who don't where I live are the females.)

So, while I am dazzled anymore about why my posts from three years ago were so into what I was wearing and today are into what I am thinking-I took the time to pause and consider why.

The simplest answer is HRT has helped me to either give the world a highly androgynous view of me or a feminine one.  But, I thought, not so fast-I do routinely out style my genetic female friends (except Liz) and why is that?

The simplest answer to that (for my simple mind) is DUH! the most attractive women in the room are the ones who look like they aren't trying.  It's tough to do that, being genetic, transgender or cross dresser. My example is the woman on the left.  She is an example of my ideal style.  Now, just between us girls, we all know, I'm not getting there in this lifetime.

Instead, I go the next best route and try to incorporate as many of the Boho/Gypsy aspects of her style into mine.  The beaded necklaces alone represent my increased awareness of Native American and earth based spirituality.

Plus, when I go this route, I have a deeper understanding of the Stana's and Mandy's of the world.  I think I have read so much of Femulate I know exactly what would be in Stana's wardrobe and I'm beginning to learn the same insight from some chatting I have done with Mandy Sherman.

Our paths through the sandbox are the same, often the fun part is how we look getting there.  One of the oldest sayings in the cross dresser's handbook was the excuse we dressed in women's clothes only because a mans' was so boring.

All true to be certain,  but if you are not able to "let your girl flags fly", you simply will be missing much of the fun.   As you can imagine from the woman above, back in the day, I really wanted to be one of the girls letting their freak flags fly and I am over joyed the style is coming back!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature "cover" today is "Miami Housewife's" drag queen James Davis / Elaine Lancaster.  

His character on the show proves once again how well cis gay males can mimic women while cross dressed - and - how well many genetic women can mimic drag queens on the shows.

The "E" Word?

I figured when I sat down to write this post, there was no way I wouldn't get in trouble with someone after I wrote it, so I changed the focus slightly and decided to try anyway.

What got me started is, I have this guy on one of the instant messaging services who won't leave me alone. He is not crass though and totally not intimidated by the fact I have a genetic woman partner plus he isn't dissuaded because I won't Skype or exchange dirty pictures. So, he is entertaining at the least and I keep asking him "why me?" (and don't block him.)  You and I both know he is not interested in my casual life's passions. He "keeps in touch" because I am transgender.

Is he in love with me because of my pictures? Not a chance - without a doubt, my only socially redeeming factor to him is because I am transgender.  I am similar to a dressed down Marilyn Monroe who was still sexy no matter how you cut it.  I'm not sexy but I am exotic to many men!(and some women) simply if I am presentable and trans.

Truly, I look at the whole process with more than a bit of humor and/or sarcasm.  Because, in my view, if a man (or woman) is so inclined to have any sort of an attraction to me, it immediately levels the playing field with other genetic women.

It has to be getting tougher for the genetically born females.  Take Jennifer Lopez and the former Playboy bunny whose men had affairs with beautiful trans women.  Then, poor Wendy Williams and Joseline Herandez, (left) vigorously refuting rumors they are transgender.  Herandez, to the point of posting a nude photo...like what does that mean? Hasn't she heard about the work accomplished SRS surgeons are doing now? Before we know it, uterine transplants will enable trans women to have babies.

I am sure some of you are like me. Your "trans-dar" is on all the time and every once in a while, I will lock eyes with a person I just might think is transgender.  As of yet though, I haven't had anyone come up to me and say, "Wow! Are you trans too?"

In the meantime, I will be like any woman and want to believe any compliments I get because a few do make me feel better.  A couple of weeks ago I saw a woman I hadn't run into in a while and she complimented on how incredible my changes were becoming.  I think I walked on "Cloud Nine" for the next couple of days.

My reality is though,  the MTF transitional changes I'm going through from HRT are earned and I respect any compliments from them as real. On the other hand,  just being exotic because I am trans is a trait I inherited - like my Mom's temperament and means very little - except it sounds cool to say!

Females-or Women-Part Two

I received a comment from Sandra on one of the older posts here in Cyrsti's Condo which bears revisiting!

Here is how the post started:

REALLY?

"Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated with the feminine gender.  As with many of you, it's difficult to explain the deep, deep yearning I had to be a woman.  Of course any success I have experienced in the transition process has been self taught and I wonder when I see genetic females who aren't women, I wonder why.

On the other hand, I just don't grasp how so many females have no idea or will power to be women.  Then again, a dear friend who passed away some time ago told me it seemed to her so many women weren't teaching their daughters to be...women. 

So maybe that's it. Where I live, we have an extremely high teen maternity rate. I know the stats reflect more than kids having kids and young females just being "baby makers". Self esteem and family conditions play into their lives too.

None of that takes away from the fact I don't understand why these females so easily toss chances to be women away.  Especially when I know so many transgender women who can't wait to get out of the closet and have their day in the sun."

Thanks Sandra! I can only add the urgency females all of the sudden show (to get back in the game) when all of the sudden they are competing in the world for a mate again.
Sandra wrote:


I also think it's a pity that so many women simply lost the joy of being women. In some cases I understand them: for some reason — genetics, hormones, work routine, impossible schedules, lack of time, too much to do — they cannot prevent their bodies to become so much unaligned with what they have in mind that they simply start neglecting their own selves. Ugly males can dress whatever they wish, so long as it's male clothes; ugly women believe they have the same right to do so.

My own wife is a typical example. When she gains weight, loses her job, and basically is stuck playing games on the computer at home, she neglects herself completely. But then she gets a job, or goes back to university, and suddenly her self-esteem gains a boost! She throws her old clothes away, starts eating regularly, sheds her excess weight, goes to the hairdresser, even shaves her legs, and starts a new wardrobe. Suddenly she glorifies in being a woman again! The last time this happened, she even let me paint her nails for her — the first time I saw her with painted nails since we met at a Halloween dinner, 17 years ago!

So I think it really has a lot to do about self-esteem. Confident women will take care of their image, because they enjoy it. Depression and low self-esteem will make them lose all interest in the way they look.

Finally, I'm guessing, being a woman at the least is probably a "nurtured" response, brought on by peer pressure etc. Not unlike we trans women-who are "stuck" with how we were born and nurtured into a society we didn't fit in to.

Another Giant Step Back for Trans Haters

What did the Rolling Stones say? "It's just a shot away?"

Imagine a future where you could chose your own gender and a few of the most basic arguments against it wouldn't be valid? Primarily from the radical anti-transgender feminist groups? (Terf's)

Stories such as this are beginning to suggest those groups won't be having a vagina to stand on before we know it.  From Rueters:

Four young women born with abnormal or missing vaginas were implanted with lab-grown versions made from their own cells, the latest success in creating replacement organs that have so far included tracheas, bladders and urethras. Follow-up tests show the new vaginas are indistinguishable from the women's own tissue and have grown in size as the young women, who got the implants as teens, matured. All four of the women are now sexually active and report normal vaginal function. Two of the four, who were born with a working uterus but no vagina, now menstruate normally.

You can bet if they can do it in genetic girls, boys won't be so far away.  Hopefully, as all the transgender hating dinosaurs begin to become extinct, the younger generation will accept the process with a huge yawn- and think so what?

The Devil is Hiding in the Details

"Back in the day" as I was exploring the feminine side of my life as a cross dresser, one of my bigger frustrations quickly became making some sort of "big mistake."  All sorts of things could happen internally or externally. My panty hose could start creeping down my thighs, I could get a heel stuck in a crack in the concrete and yes, when I used water balloons for boobs-one broke. It seemed the more I learned, the more I had to learn. I was doing my best not to be a clown in the mall and an unpaid one at that!

Of course genetic women face the same problems as part of the "high maintenance" gender, they are just more experienced and yes they have faced the same problems as we transgender girls- except maybe the water balloons. They were using tissue. Last night, I saw the process first hand.

A friend and I (genetic) were out watching the basketball tournament in a big sports bar which features five huge television screens in a row, facing the bar.  The place is huge with two large rooms on either side of the main room and last light, one of them had some sort of formal party.  Could have been some sort of an after wedding party, just knew the 20 something women were dressed in formal gowns. I didn't give them much thought until my first visit to the potty.  Just as I closed my stall door, another woman took one of the others close by.  I took care of my business quickly and was washing up to leave when she came out of the stall.  Literally, she was tall tanned and beautiful in a breathtaking blue gown which was low cut and fell off her shoulders.  The dress was also three quarters length and there in lied the problem.  She was really struggling with the dress. Was it covering enough of the girls, did she pee on it when she was using the bathroom and of course she was checking out how it looked from the back.  I dried my hands and went back to join my friend but I'm sure I missed her checking out her makeup and hair.

Once again I knew appearance is no accident and even a casual look takes a certain amount of planning and work. Even for such a young attractive woman who was working so hard to make her natural beauty look effortless.

Porno and the Genetic Woman

Quite the title, right?  The reason for it is last night, by sheer osmosis, I found myself in the middle of a porno discussion between my partner and three other of her genetic women acquaintances.

Here lately, I'm becoming better at shutting up and have the conversation come to me.  It's very effective in that most people from without the TGLBQ community don't really know what to think of me and a little mystery doesn't hurt.

After the get together last night we were all sitting around chatting and I was surprised when one of the women mentioned her ex husband and her resultant introduction to porno.  The conversation went to sex acts and then moved on rather quickly.  I am the first to admit, my experience with women has shown me, they are less than the prudes they portray around men. But,  this topic with this group of seemingly middle aged conservative women really got my attention!

I found myself stuck in sort of a time warp in the conversation too. Here I was as a transgender woman still not talking about porno. The same as when I was a guy because mainly,  I never felt the charge my guy friends supposedly got from porno and/or strip clubs. Through work though , I ended up at quite a few clubs and of course I played the game when I was bored to death. I oohed and ahhed at the right time. I thought it best though not to bring any of that up!   So, I just shut up and once again-played the game knowing full well that sooner more than later a woman will ask me about my thoughts.

On this side of the gender fence though, saying less, indeed means more and I do so enjoy the mystery!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Good morning all and welcome to another Sunday edition here here Cyrsti's Condo. Right off the bat, we will pay homage to Paula's Place and all you other ladies from the UK who used to have paper rounds.  (What we call paper routes here.) Paula mentioned she used to deliver her papers with a pair of panty hose on under her pants! It's a good thing we don't have a paper route or round this morning Paula, we are stuck yet again in another winter storm!

Page One.- Opinion.  It's not as if I don't always have tons of opinions but this week seemed to bring out the worst of mine this week. One of which actually involves a post on labels in Paula's Blog (which you can find above).  I have no problem and even concur with Paula's ideas but an off the wall comment about being called a "lady" in public by a person I have seen writing in many places sent me into orbit- or more precisely almost into on line stealth.  Simply, with all the problems we transgender women and men have in society, all she can bitch about is being called a lady and her botched SRS.  To be sure, I don't think there could be a worse feeling than believing you made the wrong decision to go "under the knife" and change your genitalia and I have had my share of genetic women friends who laughingly recoiled at the "lady" word.  For me though, I still get a case of the "warm and fuzzies" when a stranger in the world calls my partner and I Ladies. Finally, the person who believes she had a botched SRS, she doesn't necessarily mean the surgical work as much as the psychological process.  I just have never perceived her comments as constructive. The whole process reminded me of when a stealth trans woman years ago told me she went underground because she couldn't take all the insanity in our community.  I did get out of the Google Plus group she was in and I wish her well.

Page Two.- Victory!  Same sex marriage took another step towards legality in Texas this week and in Arizona, the governor vetoed a blatant attempt to pass a discrimination law against TGLB individuals.  However, in Mississippi, a similar law is making it's way through the state's legislature.  I did hear though, the one here in Ohio has been pretty much buried. Ironically, a couple very strange bedfellows came together to help squash the bigotry, and timing was everything.  Without expressly saying it, the word was the NFL and the NBA were against the law in Arizona.  Of course very recently, both are dealing with opening gay athletes, with surely more to come.  Unless you are just dense, TGLB business is good business.  We do have two NFL teams in Ohio (although we aren't sure about Cleveland) and Columbus is on some sort of a long list for an NBA team.  Discrimination and hate is simply not a good way to build commerce in your state. The largest exception of course is Fox News and Clear Channel Radio who make a good living with hate mongers.

Page Three.- We Got Mail!  I can normally count on Pat for a comment or two which give me a pause for thought or even a giggle.  This week I wrote a post about what was in the bottom of a purse I was cleaning out - a Tampon. Why? In the past, I have had less than accepting genetic women approach me in not a gentle manner asking if I had a feminine product they could use. I got the distinct idea they didn't really need one but really did need to question me.  At any rate, Pat's comment was "Why would a woman my age carry one anyhow?"  Ha-ha!  I loved the comment and said so, which led to this response:
I know that you present well less than your stated age. I think that one of the lures for my dressing is that instead of presenting as a tired old gray haired guy with the right clothes, shoes, makeup and wig I can present at least 10-15 years younger than what is shown on my license.
What she didn't mention was what she carried in her purse but did write her wife still retained her women's restroom pass, without a hygiene product in her purse. Those pesky genetic women do have a sense of who belongs and who doesn't in their tribe and my guess is the final determination does not lie with what is the bottom of your purse...right Pat?

Finally, Audrey, thanks for your kind comments!

The Back Page.- It's time to attempt to get my old dog in gear to go out in the snow and potty which she has an aversion to.  As always, thanks to all of you for spending another week with me here "the Condo"!

It's In Here Somewhere

Pat had a great comment for me not long ago, which for the life of me, I can't find. (No real surprise!)

In a post, I was mentioning my need to carry a "feminine hygiene product" in my purse in case I was asked by another woman for one in the restroom. She said something to the point of who would even ask me at my age?  Of coursed I loved it! 

Her age comment does bring me to another point though- age appropriate dressing. It's a huge deal for many genetic women as they have the need to cut their hair shorter every year and seemingly go out of their way to ignore every younger fashion trend.

The length of my hair alone takes me out of the 60+ female age category I'm in.  In other words, I don't blend.  By the time a genetic woman gets to my age (or vice versa) she has beaten her hair into submission over the years and her hormone levels are decreasing. Plus of course, hair is only a small part of the problem. To help me,   I am a follower of the Fabulous after 40  fashion site and on a recent update, here was the question:

Of all the questions my readers send me, the one I seem to get the most is a variation on the theme of age-appropriate dressing: “Can I wear short skirts/low-cut tops/bikinis/etc. at my age?”;“Does this make me look like I’m trying hard to be young?”; “Does this make me look old?”

If you follow the link above, you can find many pictures plus possible answers to the question.  As a transgender woman who didn't get a chance to transition until later in life, I'm seeking some sort of a middle ground.  I don't want to regress to my days of being the cross dresser in the mall squeezed into a mini and heels but I do want to squeeze enough style and fashion into what's left of my active life.

I'm lucky. Over the years, I did take the time as a guy to give a little extra love to my skin.  Between genetics, HRT, make up and smoke and mirrors, I can take a few visual years off my life.  In fact in some situations I threaten people with my ID to show them how old I really am.

Finally, the problem I know I have (along with so many other cross dressers or transgender women) is looking like I'm trying too hard. The only difference is I have two hurdles - age and gender.

"Wing Girl"?

No sillies, not eating wings and staining your new manicures, I'm talking about trying to set up a lesbian friend with another lesbian in a bar.

I have a friend who playfully asked me why I couldn't have done just that for her one night when she was hot on the track of a femme blond in this gay venue we were in.  We all know, often, when someone "playfully" asks something - they mean it.  Especially when its a genetic woman who is asking.  Of course, at the time, I was a little slow on the uptake and didn't do it but began to think why couldn't I? This could be another one of those ultra unique "bucket list" opportunities to experience like a bachelorlette party.

Why this falls into my lap is, my friend does not have a partner. When events come up where she is sure will have a number of lesbians in attendance, she wants to drag me along (no pun intended).  So, I'm sure I will have a chance to be a "wing girl" in the future.  Of course I wondered how I would even go about doing it.  Looking back, I don't even think I did the "wing thing" as a guy.

Finally, I came to the conclusion the process may be easier.  Number one, she is femme and attractive which should open her availability up in the room and number two, as a transgender girl-I would certainly open the door quickly or slam it shut.  Either way, it would be simpler than sitting there watching her squirm in her seat about approaching someone. Plus, the more secure I am with my feminine self, the less shy I am! I would have no problem asking someone else to please talk to my friend because she is driving me nuts!

So, the next time she asks for a "wing girl" I'm taking flight.

"Passing" the Eye Test

Those of you Cyrsti's Condo sports fanatics probably have heard the term "passing the eye test" in a negative connotation. An example is a football player who totally "looks" the part and even has the physical skills to be a star. For what reason though, the player never makes it. Compare it to the beautiful cross dresser you know who never quite captures the essence of being a woman!

I had a chance to check my theory last night on New Years Eve,  as my eye test told me an incredible amount of 20 something Cincinnati area women would start 2014 with a cold - or worse.  Very "little black dresses"  and very high heels were the norm on the very chilly streets of Cincinnati. Obviously, coats were optional! OK, I know I sound like someone's Mom and my intention is not to critique the young women last night. I would have loved to have ever looked like them! Proof was the rule of thumb I experienced when my girlfriend and I were trying to hail a taxi : The longest legs in the shortest skirt with the highest heels, gets the first cab. Guess who got the last cab?

Going back to when we left the hotel, Liz and I tried to define my "style".  This was as close as we could come. A "shaggy haired, too much eye makeup, good old girl" partying with my girlfriend on New Years Eve.  Take the hair in the blog profile picture with the makeup in the Google+ picture and that's close. In short, I thought I looked great and  passed my own mental "eye test".  As I have always said "confidence is your greatest fashion accessory."  Mine last night led to a  thoroughly enjoyable evening. We went to a couple places including one of the newer "brew houses" which overlooks the Ohio between the Red's and Bengal's stadia.  If you don't know, Cincinnati has a huge German heritage and it's finally beginning to reclaim it's past as a home to many quality craft brewers.

I'm very much a creature of habit and this was our second year in a row greeting the New Year on the banks of the Ohio in downtown Cincinnati.  This year, I was on a confidence roll other than the looks department. For once,  I didn't let the "rest room" paranoia creep in and ruin much of my evening. I just figured I would use the women's restroom when I needed to and if anyone bitched, I would pee down their leg- not mine.

Looking back, the most interesting experience of the evening came as we were checking into our hotel under my female name.  The clerk was having absolutely no problems with the process until she asked for my drivers license/I.D.  The picture on the license shows a very androgynous me - with my very male name.  She just paused for a second, didn't say anything except "sign here Mam" on the paperwork. I knew I passed the "eye test" and she thought damn that woman is wearing too much eye makeup and has too much hair for a woman her age.

I'm not exactly sure men my age feel the same way!

More Sisterhood

I like this comment from Pat:

 In large measure men tend to be calculators. "What is in it for them". When they encounter someone the often think of what that person may be looking for. Women, on the other hand, tend to view things at multiple levels at the same time. You as a TG women present an enigma to men. They do not get it, there is nothing that they want from you, they hope that there is nothing that you want from them and you can be a bit of a threat. 

Women will not see you as a threat. You are interesting. You can interact with women on a woman to woman basis and you can bring along some of your 'guy' experiences. I think that your analogy of changing teams is going in the right direction but perhaps it is more like changing sports. Sort of like going from playing for the Cincy Bengals and not finding yourself on the roster of the Cleveland Indians.

A good question becomes, "When do women see a transgender woman as a threat?"  Over the years, on several discussion sites, I have seen this topic discussed.  The most shallow response is always "a genetic woman may be threatened by a beautiful transgender woman's looks." While I agree a woman may feel a bit insecure when a former team player from the other side enters her world and competes "externally", very quickly the "multiple levels" Pat brought up kick in. No matter how "good" a cross dresser or transgender woman may look, another genetic woman will quickly discover how much of a woman they really are.  From that point, a woman decides which "category" her new trans acquaintance fits in.

Of course the major threat of all to both genders is sex.  Men are wrecked by us.  I will add to Pat's observation "what if there is something a man wants from us?"  At that point, the "gay" word is brought into the situation and confusion reigns.  OMG could I be gay? - is what a man thinks when in fact "gay" is not a term which enters a true transgender woman's mind.  I have had very limited sexual contact with men but when I did, I was doing it as a trans woman.   I came away from the experiences wondering what the men thought of me as a woman.

At the least, the whole gender mix is a potent and interesting discussion topic.  The sad part is seemingly the only non participants are the hardcore femme lesbians these days.  It's no surprise though, a certain amount of the population can't grasp the idea of multiple genders and sexuality outside the binaries.  It's complex!

In the meantime, as my genetic girlfriend told me last night, she really has very little idea of what makes men tick.  She made the comment also "I should be the gender expert."  I could only say, I'm amazed how little each gender knows about the other, when they are so transparent.  It could be, Pat, calling transgender women and men "interesting" could be an understatement.  "Mysterious" may be a better word!

Transgender and Genetic "Sisters"

Around here in Cyrsti's Condo of course we have literally kicked around the idea of how "admirers" and other men react to transgender women or cross dressers.  What we haven't discussed much is how genetic women react to us. Are we really "sisters"?

Yes, of course we are.  If you compare us as "sisters" we are no different than many genetic women and their "blood" sisters. I can't begin to tell you the number of women I knew over the years who were as different as night and day to their sisters.

I believe we interact on a "sister" level and share many of the same concerns as genetic women if they like it or not. We have the same security, interaction and appearance issues, to name a few.  In fact, transgender women experience all of those on a much larger scale.  We have to work harder to present feminine, communicate feminine and we all know how in certain places in the United States and around the world, trans people are considered expendable.

In my case, I believe what nature didn't give me in the genetal area as a trans woman, she gave back to me with my knowledge of both genders. So, I'm secure with what I bring to the table as I interact with my genetic  "sisters".

First, I don't threaten any of a woman's core instincts. I have entered her "sandbox" and she doesn't have to deal with any male ego or sexual tension. I'm firmly entrenched on her "turf".  Second, women "don't have to hate me because I'm beautiful" and I do my best to dress "feminine appropriate" everywhere I go and try to never force any issue.

What happens is many women are intrigued that I am more than just a "guy in a dress" and obviously have entered some sort of androgynous world.. All of the sudden, the word transgender is not so hard for me to explain, for them to grasp and the fun begins. Unlike men, who have the ultra paranoia about someone switching teams, women wonder why you want to join their team.  What's your angle,  how much do you know about playing on the team and "oh yeah" there is still that question of the pesky male life you used to live.  What's up with all of that?

So you see, we really are "sisters".  We have discussed here in "the Condo" how the majority of transgender persons and cross dressers have interacted with more women than men our entire lives -  We know more than a little of how the process works. Just enough to make us dangerous.

The difference becomes as you transition more and more into the genetic feminine world, they pull out all the stops.  You tossed your guy self in the trash.  Now you have to be ready for the ground floor course at how sisters really react.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Socialite Section":
Last night I went to my girlfriend's company Christmas Party.  Before you begin thinking of all the fancy seasonal dresses on the women in the room, the get together was very informal with bunches of kids, so I wore a patterned 3/4 length top, leggings and boots.

What was very special to me was I was introduced as "her girlfriend" to all her co-workers and bosses.  She takes it for granted but I know how utterly rare acceptance such as that is.  It was also very cool none of the other attendees I was introduced to seemed to care less if I was transgender, genetic, Martian or whatever.

I know several of you regular "partiers" here in the "Condo" want to know my choice of beverage. The party was actually in a suburb of Cincinnati and "the Nati" is developing quite a nice selection of locally brewed "craft beers". One of which is Rivertown Brewery, the bar where the party was featured a Rivertown Christmas Ale which had just a touch of a cinnamon flavor and went down very easily.  No cheap shots...I do have standards and I'm not a beer snob like some I know (Racquel and my daughter).  At any rate, several asked what we were drinking and I recommended it.  Turns out, the beer was gender specific to a degree.  The women liked it and one guy sort of said "well it is a girl's beer".  Interesting.

I had a fabulous time and a designated driver, so life was good!  My problem was even I began to take the experience for granted.  Every time, I do that, I have found I open myself up for problems!

Fashion Section:  For the first time ever I went shopping for a bra with a genetic woman, my girlfriend.  I wish I could tell you HRT is magically increasing my breast size and of course it is, but I'm still in an "in between" area of being too thick for my cup size.  Which means I need a bra in the 42 B cup range.  I took three into the dressing room and found one after I tried them on. So, regardless of my frustration, we found a moderately priced bra which will work with my natural "girls" and small inserts.  In the future, the plan is to move up into more comfortable, expensive models and hopefully fill them out better!  The best part of the short shopping trip was not having to look over my shoulder wondering why a guy was in the bra section or the cashier eyeing me when I checked out.

That's it for this week's Cyrsti's Condo Sunday edition!  Thanks for picking up a copy.

Females or Women?

Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated with the feminine gender.  As with many of you, it's difficult to explain the deep, deep yearning I had to be a woman.  

Of course any success I have experienced in the transition process has been self taught and I wonder when I see genetic females who aren't women, I wonder why.

REALLY?

One of my pet gender ideas is "just because you are female, you aren't necessarily a woman." When I watch my daughter "interact and coach" my 13 year old granddaughter I understand why.  She is actively involved in how she stands, dresses and even does traditional feminine past times such as baking.  I'm dazzled when Ms 13 year old Math and Science wizard bakes.

On the other hand, I just don't grasp how so many females have no idea or will power to be women.  Then again, a dear friend who passed away some time ago told me it seemed to her so many women weren't teaching their daughters to be...women.

So maybe that's it. Where I live, we have an extremely high teen maternity rate. I know the stats reflect more than kids having kids and young females just being "baby makers". Self esteem and family conditions play into their lives too.

None of that takes away from the fact I don't understand why these females so easily toss chances to be women away.  Especially when I know so many transgender women who can't wait to get out of the closet and have their day in the sun.

Transsexual Sports Fans

Years ago I thought as I made the migration from one gender to another, certain parts of my male past would have to be left behind.  One of the bigger ones was my love for sports. As it turned out, I was worrying needlessly about what I was going to pack for my trip and sports were included.

Over the years, I have written endlessly about the experience, beginning with the choice to continue my passion for sports at all - to my first trips as a woman at professional sporting events. First of all, I was being a huge dummy to start with. I looked around at all the other genetic women I knew who were huge sports fans and decided to count me in.

Without going into tons of boring details, being a woman sports fan is different.  From the dynamics of how passionate I really was,  all the way to how much I was supposed to know all was different to me. Especially when I found myself in a conversation with a man.  Being the bitch I am at times, I did have a couple fun times watch a guy dig a hole for himself as I laid in wait for him to screw up. All in fun of course!

Somewhat, in the same vein, I ran across this story from across the pond called "Travels of a transsexual football fan" by Juliet Jacques.  The situation is a classic example of finding yourself in a potentially embarrassing situation and how she negotiated it.

Go here to read it.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall..

Mirrors on the wall, on the shelf, in the car, in the store...they are everywhere and through the years we transgender women and cross dressers develop quite the relationship with them.

We have to to a certain degree although many outsiders would call our mirror worship a very narcissistic pursuit. As we transition from experimenting in Mom's or Sister's clothes, we depend upon a mirror to reassure us of how we are doing...to an extent. The problem is that mirrors are wonderful fibbers.  I'm sure you see your share of genetic women too who get lied to by their mirrors and you wonder, "What the hell was she thinking?" I can not tell you the number of times over the years I thought I was this vision of beauty only to find out quickly I was a vision alright, just not one which even closely resembled a woman.

After the years of more error than trial, I finally decided on two basics my mirror and I could work with.

The first one was I never looked as good - or as bad as I thought. Actually it's a life basic I live with too. I have days when I think I have written my best blog posts ever, only to find I wasn't going to give any of the great authors of the day a run for their money. Of course the opposite has been true too.

The second basic is actually a mirror theory I have about transitioning from a cross dresser to more of a transgender person. I think as soon as you can relax to a point of not needing reassurance of being feminine from a mirror then your mirror becomes the world. You are reflecting your gender of choice to the public and their reaction becomes all that matters.  The benefit is, for the most part you are receiving quality unfiltered feedback.

Look (no pun intended) I know the ability to get out in the world for many of you is just a dream...right now. But these days the mirror is getting a run for it's money and helping many of you out. Videos on YouTube and the multitude of photo sites are two examples.

In many cases, it seems practice is working for some of these ladies. I don't know if you remember the video I put up on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen some time ago where the cross dresser went from female to male, except for his "padding" under his male clothes.  At that point she apologized for looking terrible and not passing looking like that. I thought though she looked better than 90% of the women who work at places like Walmart where I live.

While it's true we have to work hard at being better than our genetic sisters in order to survive in the world, we all have to realize we share the same insecurities.  How many genetic women have you ever known who have not been insecure about one or more parts of their bodies? Plus, on any given day, I see any number of genetic women trying to pass as women. The difference is they know what they are and of course carry that assurance with them and it is so important we do too. But...  No amount of mirrors can do that for us - transgender women or cross dressers.

Rest assured, your mirror does not want to lose your friendship and indeed many times a mirror is a girl's best friend.  Just make sure your true BFF is the public and you will do fine!

You Bitch?

It's football season in my part of the world and similar to many of you we have our share of very passionate fans who follow their teams to the heights of glory or into the toilet...including me.

As I did this transgender transition thing, at first I thought in order to do it right, I would have to become the stereo typical "foo foo drinking" woman down the bar with the girls. But as I looked a little closer, there were a growing number of women who were drinking their fair share of good old beer and I rejoiced!

Fast forward a year or so and I developed friendships with a couple of genetic women who not only would and could drink with me, they shared my passion for sports.

Using the word "cute" seems out of place here but this story fits the cute category, none the less. My mind is old and worn out and I think this may have happened last season when we were watching a game. One of the women is from Pennsylvania and is a huge out spoken fan of the "Steelers" and of course I live close to Cincinnati in an area with tons of Bengals and Browns fans.

That night a guy sat down next to her in an open seat as she prepared to raise hell about how the "Squeelers" were playing and it turns out he was from western Pennsylvania too. As luck would have it that night, the "Stinkers" continued to tank the game and I was having the time of my life and not being quiet about it!

Finally, he got frustrated enough to turn to me and said "You Bitch"!  I just smiled and said, "You don't know how long I have waited to hear that!"

An Interesting Look at an Ancient Subject

Am I wrong or have pre historic drawings of men dressed as women been discovered in caves over the years or was that just in one of the gay restrooms I was in?

For whatever reason one of my cross dresser friends passed along this video for the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. In it, a drag queen explains why doing drag is similar to being pregnant.  I thought, really? How is this going to work?

As I watched though, the drag queen presented a couple good points.  My final conclusion was his ideas just cover the tip of the iceberg when compared with what transgender women go through, but he does have an "itty bitty" start: Similar to what many genetic women think about us!

We Got Mail!

First time commenter Laine wrote:

"This is my first time reading your blog, care of the link on Google Plus. I keep hoping that I will be able to skip the adolescent phase, but then I run into a wave of giddiness over something that I was never allowed to experience before. I still get bouncy just from having social time with girl friends and it feeling right, us socializing properly rather than with the inherent awkwardness that occurs with boys around. I think part of the Princess phase is that you have to push hard to cross over the line before you find your happy medium, in most cases." Thanks Laine!

"Princess Jim"

Hi Laine and thanks for the comment! Indeed the transgender adolescent phase seems to last forever and in many cases no one (including me) wanted it to end. In reality though, we probably aren't in the "A-phase" any longer than a genetic girl, it's just tougher for us because of the time of life when we happen to be going through it....say 40 something. Plus many times we are under pressure to go adolescence again  totally alone - without the cool social time you mentioned with your girlfriends. I agree, you have to make your way through the process before you have any idea of who you are. The process dictates you rather than the other way around.

Here's where my "Princess" tag came from. Approximately 2,000 years ago as I first became totally immersed with my femme looks in the mirror, my wife was fond of calling me "The Princess". I credit her blunt critiques for getting out me of the mirror and gay clubs and into taking a took at the reality of a feminine life.

She passed nearly six years ago and I often wonder if she ever knew how she unknowingly laid the ground work for my MtF transition. I know I will always feel the impact of a fashion "critique" or two somewhere in my subconscious from her.

I do think though, even the most jaded genetic woman would admit there a little bit of the "Princess" in every woman, genetic or trans.  The princess just adds a touch of mystery or spice to who we are!



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