Showing posts with label TGLB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TGLB. Show all posts

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "UpDate"

Ironically, just a day after we were discussing transgender employment opportunities, another LGBT Job Fair story popped up from Salt Lake City.

I immediately became suspicious of this item because of how silent the "T" may have been. Obviously, employers face many more hurdles on their end hiring trans employees as opposed to gay or lesbian workers. I was considering the transgender title was nothing more than window dressing.

But, this event was organized by  the Transgender Education Advocates (TEA) of Utah. and was their second annual TGLBQ Job Fair. The event was attended by 10 local employers, all committed to TGLBQ equality in the workplace, and about 50 job-seekers, significantly surpassing last year’s inaugural numbers.  The primary goal of the job fair was to show employers that “the TGLBQ community has an immense amount of untapped talent,” and to help that talent find jobs with companies who appreciate them and value diversity.

It is important to point out, more job seekers are questioning a company's diversity these days. Diversity is being viewed as an indicator of how good and progressive a company is.   Now if more cities would recognize the same thing (where I live doesn't) more economic development would come their way. But as is said in sports "you can't coach stupid."

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Location, Location, Location

At the Trans Ohio Community regional meeting last week, there was one attendee I have given lots of thought to.  First of all she was late and all so shy and came with her sister. (Sister was not looking happy to be there.) As went we around the room, she did say she lived in one of the rural counties around Cincinnati and actually she was afraid to come to the meeting.

I for one was amazed because the meeting itself couldn't have been held in a safer place, with no loss of accepting people.  Later though, I began to perhaps understand why.  For the most part we all live in pockets of transgender acceptance or lack of acceptance.  I live around both. For example, Columbus, Ohio is an incredibly diverse and open TGLBQ city. Cincinnati so far just isn't and Dayton for the most part is. But you can go approximately 50 miles or so south of Columbus and hit some very unforgiving areas. The trans woman in question had to first get out of the house, past her neighbors and into "safe" territory.  It's no wonder she was scared.

Shelle, one of the regular visitors to Cyrsti's Condo can certainly speak to the issue of our rural trans sisters. She lives in conservative rural Indiana.  Unfortunately, many of the good old strong "folk" who built American values just haven't gotten real liberal lately and want to not extend those values to others. If you are in one of the rural areas, chances are you are even more alone as a transgender person and yes, you do stick out and no, it's not easy to just pick up and move from your home.

I'm not better than anyone else and have a tendency to think if I am able to make trips to places like TransOhio or even the bigger cities around me-why can't everyone else?  I know for a fact though,  other huge factors for many of our rural sisters are finances and transportation. I'm far from wealthy, but I'm lucky my old car and I are fairly mobile.

It's yet another problem which is easy to sweep under the TGLBQ rug.  Every once in while though, someone picks up the rug and takes a look.  Here is an example called Transphobia in a Small Town. It's worth a look at how "the other side" lives. Especially if you live in a more liberal urban area.




here

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition!

Ker Plunk! Another edition of the Condo has just hit your "in box". Good day to Y'all!  I hope the weather Goddess is beginning to show a bit of kindness in your part of the world as she is here.  However, at this time of the year around here she is rather fickle but then again, being teased is fun.

Page 1.-The Week in Review.-  Transgender service men and women were back in the news this week as a major study concluded what we all knew, trans service members should be granted all the rights of any other person in the military.  Just as important was the fact the "Prez" could make it happen with only his signature.  The classic so near and so far away.  Why would he do such as simple thing as guarantee rights to a neglected segment of the population when so many other key issues in the world go unattended?

Page 2.-Beauty/Fashion.- With the change of seasons, comes a change of fashion-if your season actually changes or not. Your climate could be similar to the year I spent in Thailand where winter was 60 degrees and monsoons were the only other noteworthy seasonal change but it was time for the latest in rain fashion. This winter taught me yet another valuable HRT skin lesson. Exfoliation was easy-  if you want to lose an outside layer or two of skin , just go outside without a ton of moisturizer for the briefest time. (Which I know you girls up North already understood!) Now I  hear we have a 50-50 chance of another El Nino which normally means our summer will produce temperatures just north of Hell.  I'm already checking my wardrobe for sleeveless tops as I'm looking forward to the benefits of less muscle definition in my arms and the overall texture of my skin. As the fashionista's say, in summer the greatest fashion accessory is your skin.

Page 3.- We Got Mail.- Thanks Mandy for the comment on my "Horse's What" post:

At one point a long time ago, I donated my first ponytail to one of those cancer organizations...gives you a good feeling to help! But it grew back, and since then, breakage has taken its toll, shortening some spots to the point that they won't stay in a ponytail. Thus my hair stays loose...bummer. A ponytail would work great in the summer!
A while back I heard "that part of a horse's anatomy" you mentioned, referred to as "the north end of a southbound horse." Took me a minute to figure that out, but - it sounds better than some of the alternative descriptions! Maybe a bit more politically correct?

Mandy, I believe I was born with a "non political correct gene!"  As far as my hair goes, so far my partner is the only person allowed to approach me with scissors and she does trim my bangs and loose ends here and there.

Page 4.- The Back Page.-  This week for me has been one of unrest.  For some reason I feel like I am at a standstill in my transition which I know isn't really true.  As with anything else in life, there are peaks and valleys and HRT is no different of course. If you are making the hormonal transition, it's sometimes easy to forget you can't measure changes by the size of your breasts when so much is internal.

Page 5.- The Calendar.- The next three months or so are going to be exciting with all sorts of activities.  This week, I'm attending a transgender community meeting for the Cincinnati/Dayton, Ohio area as a beginning.  I can't believe after that, March is all but history and then I have committed myself  to finishing my book before the TransOhio Symposium  the end of May.  At the same time, a plethora of TGLB Pride events begin in my area until the end of June.  I'm looking forward to them because I have never been and I'm a great people watcher!  In many ways, I think either I won't notice or meet many other transgender women.  Obviously our goal is to have a good time and not be flashy and draw attention to ourselves.  An interesting dynamic when you put us somewhere in between the gay/drag community and the lesbians.  I know too, many cross dressers use a pride event to strut their "stuff!"

So there you go kids, as always, thanks so much for stopping by "theCondo".  You are my "faves!" and by the way - is St Patrick's Day a big deal in Ireland too?

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Wham! Bam! Here comes another Sunday Edition of Cyrsti's Condo.

Page one.- Rollin in the "Nati"!  My trip with three friends to the Cincinnati Roller Girls this weekend was certainly different and fun.  I went with Liz and two other genetic women who all happen to be lesbian. Pointing out  their sexuality is only important to the story.  I guess the interesting part I internalized my feelings for quite a few in shape 20 something athletic women in very tight, short team uniforms.  My life has taught me I want to be one of these women as much as I may oogle them sexually-not the case with my friends who did pick out their "favorites."

The night started innocently enough with a dollar beer "Happy Hour" event, when the girls and I attempted to sip as much Hudepohl Beer as inhumanly possible.  Obviously this sort of camaraderie was missing from my life before and I love it now.  The event itself was interesting. As my partner Liz said "I've never seen so many lesbians in one place."  The action on the floor was at times, fast and physical.  Once I learned the rules it was all fun and skates!

Page two.- Week in Review.  We had it all this week.  A group was pushing a Change.Org petition to label the Southern Poverty Law Center as a "hate group."  The center is a known "nest" for noted transgender women haters. Members of our community have been targeted by trans-exclusionary radical feminists (TERFs). Personal information such as former names, current legal names, and photographs have been compiled and displayed on the website “Name the Problem”. Several of the entries are self-attributed to “Pegasus” ("PegasusBug" is a pseudonym of Cathy Brennan, the head of Gender Identity Watch). This information was presented alongside reports describing rapists and batterers of women. If you haven't checked any of their propaganda-hate is a accurate term. On the other hand we spotlighted several very positive moves in the TGLB community.

Page three.- We Got Mail. We received several comments here in theCondo and in my email concerning the "Eyes of the Beholder" post. One was from Pat:

 I(Pat) was out of town for three nights and dressed and went out each evening. I encountered a few folks in the hotel elevator or lobby but no "odd looks". Sunday night I had on a black skirt and blakc lace top under my black blazer, beige hose and 3" block heels. (I wore the same brown sued block heels with the black blazer all three outings because it was cold and the streets, lots and sidewalks were covered with snow or ice and I did not think it worth risking stilettos. I also had some black flats for some walking.) That night I was at a friendly LGBT bar having some beers watching the Oscars with the rest of the patrons. The next night I went out to another LGBT friendly bar for some pizza and beer and again no one treated as anything other that what I appeared. I had on a brown denim skirt, beige hose and the same blazer and heels.

As always a good point Pat, of how in the right place at the right time, jumping in the "blender" and seamlessly navigating as a woman is easier.  Interestingly, I chatted with a trans person somewhere (she never would tell me) who was writing of her success in the world.  I told her, most of us in the world don't have the option of dressing fiercely as a woman and challenging a drunk red neck guy's ego. Before you say Cyrsti, just don't go there. Some of us live in places where that just isn't possible.  You go out your door and you are there. Finally, paraphrasing Paula, a "simple and honest" burst of laughter will make you rethink what you are doing...especially when a drunk redneck man or woman is doing it.

The Back Page.- Where ever you happen to be in the world, I hope your universe is a little brighter this week. You are always welcome here in theCondo! Hope you visit again soon!


Sunday, March 2, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Good morning all and welcome to another Sunday edition here here Cyrsti's Condo. Right off the bat, we will pay homage to Paula's Place and all you other ladies from the UK who used to have paper rounds.  (What we call paper routes here.) Paula mentioned she used to deliver her papers with a pair of panty hose on under her pants! It's a good thing we don't have a paper route or round this morning Paula, we are stuck yet again in another winter storm!

Page One.- Opinion.  It's not as if I don't always have tons of opinions but this week seemed to bring out the worst of mine this week. One of which actually involves a post on labels in Paula's Blog (which you can find above).  I have no problem and even concur with Paula's ideas but an off the wall comment about being called a "lady" in public by a person I have seen writing in many places sent me into orbit- or more precisely almost into on line stealth.  Simply, with all the problems we transgender women and men have in society, all she can bitch about is being called a lady and her botched SRS.  To be sure, I don't think there could be a worse feeling than believing you made the wrong decision to go "under the knife" and change your genitalia and I have had my share of genetic women friends who laughingly recoiled at the "lady" word.  For me though, I still get a case of the "warm and fuzzies" when a stranger in the world calls my partner and I Ladies. Finally, the person who believes she had a botched SRS, she doesn't necessarily mean the surgical work as much as the psychological process.  I just have never perceived her comments as constructive. The whole process reminded me of when a stealth trans woman years ago told me she went underground because she couldn't take all the insanity in our community.  I did get out of the Google Plus group she was in and I wish her well.

Page Two.- Victory!  Same sex marriage took another step towards legality in Texas this week and in Arizona, the governor vetoed a blatant attempt to pass a discrimination law against TGLB individuals.  However, in Mississippi, a similar law is making it's way through the state's legislature.  I did hear though, the one here in Ohio has been pretty much buried. Ironically, a couple very strange bedfellows came together to help squash the bigotry, and timing was everything.  Without expressly saying it, the word was the NFL and the NBA were against the law in Arizona.  Of course very recently, both are dealing with opening gay athletes, with surely more to come.  Unless you are just dense, TGLB business is good business.  We do have two NFL teams in Ohio (although we aren't sure about Cleveland) and Columbus is on some sort of a long list for an NBA team.  Discrimination and hate is simply not a good way to build commerce in your state. The largest exception of course is Fox News and Clear Channel Radio who make a good living with hate mongers.

Page Three.- We Got Mail!  I can normally count on Pat for a comment or two which give me a pause for thought or even a giggle.  This week I wrote a post about what was in the bottom of a purse I was cleaning out - a Tampon. Why? In the past, I have had less than accepting genetic women approach me in not a gentle manner asking if I had a feminine product they could use. I got the distinct idea they didn't really need one but really did need to question me.  At any rate, Pat's comment was "Why would a woman my age carry one anyhow?"  Ha-ha!  I loved the comment and said so, which led to this response:
I know that you present well less than your stated age. I think that one of the lures for my dressing is that instead of presenting as a tired old gray haired guy with the right clothes, shoes, makeup and wig I can present at least 10-15 years younger than what is shown on my license.
What she didn't mention was what she carried in her purse but did write her wife still retained her women's restroom pass, without a hygiene product in her purse. Those pesky genetic women do have a sense of who belongs and who doesn't in their tribe and my guess is the final determination does not lie with what is the bottom of your purse...right Pat?

Finally, Audrey, thanks for your kind comments!

The Back Page.- It's time to attempt to get my old dog in gear to go out in the snow and potty which she has an aversion to.  As always, thanks to all of you for spending another week with me here "the Condo"!

Friday, February 28, 2014

First Arizona-Now Mississippi

Open for BusinessWe ran a post in Cyrsti's Condo yesterday about the Governor of Arizona vetoing a blatantly TGLB discrimination bill. Beware of one coming to your state too, as I of heard rumblings of here in Ohio.

This time though, it's the state of Mississippi attempting to take a giant step backwards and adopt a similar bill which was shot down in Arizona.

For more info, go here where you can go and add your two cents.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

What Part of Ignorance Will They Ever Understand?

A contradiction in terms to be sure. An ignorant person never understands because they are ignorant and to be clear here, I'm separating ignorance from a simple lack of knowledge or understanding.

This post is a celebratory one, plus one which comes with a warning.  Recently, two positives took place which will impact the TGLB community.  The first of which was when the repeal of the so called "Co-ed School Bathroom Bill" was thrown out due to lack of signatures. The bill guarantee's equal restroom rights for transgender California students.

The second of which was the veto in Arizona of a bill which had the potential to send the state back to the old "Jim Crow" discrimination laws in the deep south.  Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer vetoed the controversial anti-gay SB 1062 on Wednesday, saying it would "create more problems than it purports to solve." "Religious liberty is a core American and Arizona value, so is non-discrimination," she said. Ironically, the rumor is the NFL and a threat to pull the Super Bowl out of the state, had more than a slight impact.

Unfortunately, the more victories we have, the more we need.  The right wing hate mongers are more than ready, willing and able to toss more road blocks in our paths as TGLB citizens. Some even try to erode the rights of genetic women too. I can carry it a step farther to you cross dressers who maybe considering a step or two out of the closet.  When I first came out, the mere fact an owner could boot me out of his store for dressing like a women, may have made the process almost impossible for me.  My point is (again) even if you are a heavily closeted CD or trans person, you need to discretely vote against these people!

Today though, we do have hard fought victories and we do have a vocal and an economic impact in our communities. Smart towns know a positive TGLB rights stand attracts commerce and I do my small part by driving by Chik-Fil-A and not buying Barilla Pasta in the store.  I respect the rights of the homo-phobic owners of those companies to their ideas and I have my right NOT to give them my money. Not unlike the NFL and Arizona on a tiny scale, I will do my part to help them not prosper. Just because they happened to be good business people does not make them good human beings!

The bottom line is, as with any other rights we have earned, no matter how small, we have to be increasingly diligent to keep them.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition

Page one.- "Book em Danno"  a quote from Hawaii Five-O- fame, gets us started this Sunday Morning. I was using the quote to get us to the Facebook announcement this week they were going to open up their gender options....really open them up to approx 50 different gender categories. I met the news with enthusiasm, other's not so much, which is understandable.  One of my lesbian friends was simply surprised with the number of categories and I told her, someone at Facebook probably thought if they (FB), opened the door to a couple different gender categories, they better do it for all they could think of.

Another opinion comes from Condo visitor Alexis Michelle:

Last night I listened to a show that was talking about not only this but the entire gender identity issue. The question came up as to exactly why Facebook did this now. I guess the host is one who questions "why" many things happen. So does Facebook have an ulterior motive for this move? Is this an attempt to begin putting people into pigeon slots for some future purpose, be it good or not? I don't know myself, but I'm going to leave my gender as female regardless of this. Heck, I don't even know what some of those terms truly mean. But even with the ones I am familiar with, I'd have to choose between more than one. Too many options in my humble opinion...........

Thanks Alexis Michelle and I'm sure you are right, somewhere, sometime, someone may use the information and send it off to "Big Brother" for less than good reasons.  However, I think any kind of census count of the TGLB community may be good for at least we "T"'s.  If you remember, not long ago some "official" count listed transgender women and transgender men as nearly as rare as a Republican voting for same sex marriage. So as I said, if Facebook comes up with a surprising number of trans users who change their gender listings (Like you Michelle, I used the female option previously too.)- a light bulb may go on and Big Brother may realize we are a force to be reckoned with.

Who knows?

Page 2.- We took a break, a potty break in a safe place and sent along a link which lists places where transgender women or men and cross dressers can "pee in peace".  I went on the site called Refuge Restrooms and added a few of my own.  All too often these days I believe I'm beginning to see restroom "privilege" as yet another "hierarchy" hammer being used in our community.  I'm better than you because I'm "accomplished" enough to use the women's room without incident and you are not. Obviously we don't need another hammer being used and a site such as Refuge, helps negate it.

Page 3.- Media "splashes" last week turned into tidal waves for the transgender community when icons such as Laverne Cox, Carmen Carrera, and Janet Mock jumped into the pool with very public interviews. All three put the spotlight on our lives and tried to take it away from our genitalia.  All of them pushed ahead with a unified, much needed public statement which has yet to work for me but might sooner more than later. I still encounter the occasional "civilian" on line or even in public, who just has to know what is or isn't, between my legs.  Again, I was bemoaning the fact I was being "sexualized" vs "genderized" by these people with my lesbian friend I mentioned above....she said relax they are just curious about you (me).  Easy for her to say because years ago she asked me the same question and certainly genetic women are the most curious group in the human race!

Page 4.- Fact or Freak?  Sure looks to me like Bruce Jenner just might have been dabbling in a little HRT which certainly doesn't make him a freak but the way he is handling it does.



Back Page.- Well, I hope those of you still getting pummeled by terrible weather on the East Coast of the United States are getting back to normal and a big WOW to Micheal Sam  a NFL draft prospect who came out as gay before the draft!

Hope you all have a good week and as always, it's all of you who make the Cyrsti's Condo what it is today!

Friday, January 17, 2014

Crossing Christie's Bridge

Under the white hot spot light of a rumored future bid for the United States Presidency, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's true spots are beginning to emerge.

Perhaps you international visitors here in Cyrsti's Condo (no relation) have heard the story of how last summer, the governor's aides basically shut down partial access to one of the busiest bridges in the world supposedly as a political "punishment". As the story broke, Christie broke down (not on the bridge) threw a couple aides under the bus (not on the bridge) and tried to apologize. Turns out the governor's blood is still in the water and the political sharks are circling.

If I lived in New Jersey and was affected by the bridge move, I would be bitter too.  Yet another arrogant move by another politician.  Not much new there. What indirectly does affect me though, is Christie's recent veto of a bill  this week that would have eased the process by which transgender individuals can change the gender markers on their birth certificates.

From the Philadelphia Gay News:

 The proposed legislation, which both chambers of the New Jersey legislature passed last year, would have allowed the state to issue amended birth certificates for individuals who have undergone clinical treatments for a gender transition, including such methods as hormone therapy. Current law requires gender-reassignment surgery for certificates to be changed. In his veto memo, Christie said the bill could provide an opportunity for individuals to commit fraud. He contended that “New Jersey already has an administrative process in place to streamline applications to amend birth certificates for gender purposes without court order. Under the proposal before me, the sponsors seek to alter the amended birth-certificate application process without maintaining appropriate safeguards.” 

Look, I'm no expert concerning the validity of why Christie vetoed the bill but his reason sounded suspiciously similar to the politicians in my city which refuse to offer across the board protections to TGLB citizens...those protections already exist.  When indeed they don't.

At the least, the governor is doing me a favor by marking him off of any candidate I may be interested in.  I'm intently following the Republicans and other third parties such as the American Independent Party, to see if there is any chance of restoring a semblance of a strong two political party system  Looks as if Christie will block the bridge again and he's out.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Becoming More Visible

A "Kick Starter" fund raising campaign has been started for a film project called "Becoming More Visible".

The project,by Pamela French and photographer Josh Lehrer, challenges viewers to examine their own complacency in regards to transgender youth homelessness. According to recent statistics, a staggering 40 percent of America's homeless youth identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (TGLB).

I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo of my meeting with just one of the 40% (a young transgender woman) who "grew up" all too fast on the streets of Detroit and L.A.  So very different than my sheltered closet here in Ohio.

What stood out to me at our meeting at Trans Ohio was her fierce pride of who she was and her determination to do what ever it took to elevate her status.

I know many of you here in the Condo do peek out from your closets and wonder what you can do to make a difference without jeopardizing your life (that's cool-I'm not judging you) but here is a chance to slide a few bucks to this effort. (one dolla' minimum).  Check out the link above for more.




Friday, December 27, 2013

And So It Was Christmas!

Well, jolly old St. Nick has come and gone again.  I hope your Christmas was as good as mine. I must be doing something right!

I'm fortunate, the family I left is very close to me.  Some know I'm transgender and others suspect I simply have an extreme affection for women's clothes. This year I was able to put all that drama in my noggin aside and simply go as what is left of my guy self.  I was selfish to a degree but I've learned the hard way how life can change from year to year and next year I know mine will for reasons I will get into later.

For the moment though, I hope your Christmas experience was a positive one because I know for so many of us in the transgender community it just isn't. We aren't as lucky as our so called "brothers and sisters", in  the G and L communities. They simply have more developed resources to deal with holiday stress and we are tragically left in the corner alone. Even several gay venues opened for Christmas dinners around here, so everyone had a place to go. Thanks to fewer trans folks bolting immediately for the stealth closet, hopefully next year will be better for all of us too! I know I feel much more comfortable meeting my local G&L group now that I made a special point of introducing myself to them last summer.

Next week of course is the New Year, a time to take stock of the past and look forward to the future. Without dreams and goals our lives just sit and wither away.  Between now and the first, I'm going to share my 2014 "resolutions" with you and all my friends here in Cyrsti's Condo! Get your pen and paper ready!


Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Ohio Proud

I'm from Ohio and know many who are happy to say they are from Ohio and not here now. It's a totally frustrating place which features the best (and worst) of rust belt urban settings all the way to a strong agricultural base.

This is the state which for some reason banned casino gambling for so many years while Indiana and Michigan made money from Ohioians crossing the border to gamble.  Ohio also is the state which stubbornly refuses to grant sweeping protections to all the TGLB community but at the same time it's capital city of Columbus is one of the top gay areas of the country.

You can compare Ohio to the warm and cold fronts which cause big storms when they collide. From the most liberal at places such as Antioch College to people speaking in tongues at the church down the street. It's all here.

Recently Columbus' 10TV ran a story of an Ohio mother who stood up and said "enough is enough" stop the bullying of her young transgender daughter:

You can comment on the video 10TV's Facebook page too.


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Tossing the "T"

Many different directions I can go with this. Maybe "testosterone", or how about "tranny"?

I have written many times here in Cyrsti's Condo how I feel about the use of the gender slur.  If you have ever read any of Parker Molloy's posts, you know she writes well and with authority  Recently, she wrote on the subject of gender slurs, primarily from the privileged group with the TGLB culture- gay cisgender males.

Here are a couple excerpts from Molloy's post:

"A common argument in favor of using "tranny" is, "But that word is just part of drag culture!" Here's my rebuttal: I don't care. "Drag culture" or not, that's not a word that's appropriate to throw around. It's a hateful slur that is often the last thing that trans women hear before being beaten or murdered. Just as it wouldn't be acceptable for me to go around using the word "f*ggot," as I'm not a gay man, it's inappropriate for gay men and male-identified drag queens to use "tranny."

and:


(In The Huffington Post) " Joe Hutcheson blogged about his evolution toward accepting the use of female pronouns and terminology -- "she," "her," and "girl" -- for male-identified gay people. That's cute and all, but some folks actually care about pronouns. If someone is going to call me "she," "her," or "girl," I want it to be because that person, you know, sees me as a woman, not because they're just so super-sassy that they say, "Pronouns and identification be damned. I'm calling you 'girl' because, um, fierce!" Do whatever you want, gay dudes, just stop doing things that harm trans people in the process. Can you manage that? It's bad enough that while trans people still struggle to use the restroom without legal repercussions, we're expected to sit quietly as marriage rights take the bulk of money donated to LGBT (more like GLb...[t]) organizations. We shouldn't have to worry about whether or not you're going to stab us in the back with words too.

 In conclusion, don't say "tranny." Just don't. It doesn't matter if you do drag, or if "it's not meant as a slur." If you are a cisgender gay man, that is not your word to use."

There is much more to read of course and you can go here to the Huffington Post to check it out.

As a side note, this happened to me several months ago when I was in a rather small local gay venue I go to every now and then:
The performing drag queens pretty much are the same and in fact one of them is a co owner of the place.  They kind of get aggravated when I really don't watch the shows often. (Seen one drag show-seen them all.) When they were taking a break between sets, one of the drag queens came by and said "glad you could get out tonight."  In my part of the world that's commonly referred to as "glad you could get all dolled up and way from your "drab" (guy) world tonight." I quickly told the queen and the bartender that I didn't have to get anywhere tonight and I live my life this way. What was I wearing? My favorite "boyfriend" jeans flip flops and a frilly tank top. It wasn't like I was doing drag. The queen was quick to stereotype me though and a chance for me to tersely lay some trans education on them. 


Saturday, November 16, 2013

Tyra Scott- Sexual Hybrid?

You may want to put the kids to bed as this is one of the few "adult rated" posts you will see in Cyrsti's Condo.  I'm passing it along because the story actually goes past Tyra Scott just being a transsexual adult performer.

She discusses connections with the everyday transgender community, why she is still "pre opt" and what her life was like growing up.





From the Daily Loaf

in Tampa, Florida:


(Tyra Scott) : "Straight men are traditionally the most intolerant of the transgender community. Straight men are also the primary consumers of transsexual porn. This is why adult tube sites pepper clips of transsexuals in with other, "straight" offerings. These companies know that, behind closed doors, many straight men sample transsexual porn. In this way, ts performers have become X-rated ambassadors of the transgender community.

The more comfortable straight men become masturbating in private to these performers, the more tolerant they will be in public of the transgender community. Not only do these rogue performers represent the transgender community, they also embody the rainbow of diversity that exists in human sexuality and gender. In an effort to better understand this increasingly popular form of erotica, as well as the GLBT community as a whole."

So now, you don't have to be so critical of your friends watching porn! They are learning the attraction of sexual hybrids! Like so many of you I'm sure you view this with distaste. Not because so much because of content but once again we trans women are being portrayed in exactly the wrong light.  The same problems genetic women face.

At the least,  interesting ideas and you can follow the link above for more.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Growing up Transgender?

As with most of you, I have spent an exorbitant amount of time looking back into my formative gender years wondering what, if anything could have been done for me, not to me due to my condition. 

Back in the 50's through  the early 60's and much longer, let's not forget just being gay was considered a mental illness and God knows what could happen if you wanted to follow in the footsteps of Christine Jorgensen.

Sure there were signs as early as the age of twelve with me. Similar to so many of you, I too wanted a doll baby not a truck for Christmas. I know, blah, blah, blah. Be happy with the truck you inconsiderate brat!

I have passed along the stories of growing up in a rural area and having very few real live girls in my neighborhood at all.  One to be exact in a group of about ten boys. I can imagine now the torture she went through.  So, you wouldn't think in the land of strict gender binaries, I would encounter another possible "sister of the cloth".

Amazingly though, I did have a friend in those days who shared a very definite desire to play in his Mom's clothes and makeup-with her permission! You would think I would remember him first before all the others but somehow his memory has just began to come back to me in my old age. My most vivid memory was a day when his Mom "caught" us doing a little "dress up". Even back in those days I was more than a little envious of the way he looked.  I'm not saying he was a natural but Momma was attractive and she could get him there too.

I wonder now what would have happened if his family had stayed around where I lived and not moved three states away.  Most certainly he was in the same situation I was and our little "fascination" with women's clothes was much more than a passing phase or fetish.

It seems our little group of kids may have had way more than it's share of transgender individuals.  Of course living in the past is a waste of time but.... How much fun/trouble could both of us gotten into in his Mom's clothes and damn I could have used mega makeup advice at that age!!!!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Carmen Moore

"Carmen Moore"
As we know, it’s still very rare for transsexual actors to be given transsexual roles, but a film company is setting out to change that trend. Drunktown is casting Navajo transsexual actress Carmen Moore in one of its lead roles. The movie has already been shot, but is now looking for completion funding on Kickstarter, in the hope it’ll be ready for the Sundance Film Festival in January. The movie follows ’3 Native Americans: a college-bound student, a father-to-be, and a promiscuous transsexual struggle to escape their Indian reservation.’  The name comes from  Writer/director Sydney Freeland's response to a news report she saw, which branded her community Drunktown USA.

The transsexual character, Felixia, faces the struggles of TGLB people in the modern world, including within the Navajo culture. Navajo's have always revered members of the ‘third gender’ but outside of that transgender women face similar pressures the rest of us face - men who think sleeping with her would make them gay, while many other people simply reject her.

Go here for more.

Friday, August 16, 2013

It Does Get Better

You probably have heard of the It Does Get Better public relations effort which began some time ago to reach out to TGLB youth. Nothing is more tragic to me than the stories of trans kids who are subjected to extreme bullies and ignorant families. Ultimately suicide is the only answer for some.  So sad! Despite the age difference, most of their problems are similar to ours.

The fact remains though, what does and doesn't the campaign mean to the "more mature" transgender age groups? Actually everything and then again not so much. Bottom line in any self help campaign is : "what does it do for me?"

In essence we are still our parents trans kid peeking out from the closet to see what's going on. The problem is, the closet over the years has become very full of the baggage we have accumulated. We have painted our self into a corner of the closet with few alternatives. Such as these simplified examples:

Number One is going down with the ship. You have hidden your gender issues for so long, what's the problem with a few more?

Number Two are the final solutions. You can't stand the pressure anymore and you check out with suicide or you go ahead come out before you harm yourself.

Number Three is cautiously checking the waters. and slowly come out into the world.

No matter of age, the only way anything gets better is effort. Check the link above for effort on the highest level!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Transgender Feminism

Have you ever considered how feminism effects us as transgender women? Does it at all and are we accepted if we try to participate?

On some levels we are met with a resounding NO by the more radical of the feminists who view us as little more than impostors. On other levels YES by those who need whatever political clout we can offer.

Truly over the years I have believed in total equality between the genders. Back in the day when men of my age bracket were being drafted to fight in the non war no one wants to remember, I perceived the process of blatant gender discrimination. Men and women both should have been drafted! All in all though the process turned out to be another dose of my wonderful male privilege!

Of course I read loads of the feminist posts and do believe in equality but I wonder if once again as a trans woman how much really effects me? I just don't read much from genetic feminists mentioning the enormous injustices we are subjected to. Regardless of our birth genders the rift seems too wide to cross. Certainly we deserve the same amount of money as men for the same job...if we can get one at all.

Recently I received an invitation to a dinner/speaker local "Women in Government" meeting. The invite gave me a chance to consider if I wanted to shell out the 25 dollars to hear the speaker and the possible consequences if I went.  Per norm I certainly would have been the "one of a kind" person in the room with a chance to network the transgender culture. All the warm and fuzzies to be sure but would it have been the time to ask the women in government about their views of transgender feminism? Undoubtedly not what the participants would have expected I'm sure.

So, I didn't go and in some senses felt bad about not doing it. I do however have a couple other avenues I'm considering such as an youth TGLB group in town.  They of course are always looking for help.

In today's world, everyone tries to protect and build their own little hill of sand including the genetic feminists. It's another part of the girls sandbox I'm not sure of wanting to play in.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Lists that Should be Listed

Following is Princeton Review’s list of the 20 most TGLB-friendly colleges and universities in the U.S.:
 1. Emerson College (Boston, Mass.)
 2. Warren Wilson College (Asheville, N.C.)
 3. New College of Florida (Sarasota, Fla.)
 4. Stanford University (Stanford, Calif.)
 5. University of Wisconsin-Madison (Madison, Wis.)
 6. Oberlin College (Oberlin, Ohio)
 7. Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering (Needham, Mass.)
 8. Smith College (Northampton, Mass.)
 9. New York University
 10. Bryn Mawr College (Bryn Mawr, Pa.)
 11. Wellesley College (Wellesley, Mass.)
 12. Bennington College (Bennington, Vt.)
 13. University of Chicago
 14. Yale University (New Haven, Conn.)
 15. Carleton College (Northfield, Minn.)
 16. Sarah Lawrence College (Bronxville, N.Y.)
 17. Macalester College (St. Paul, Minn.)
 18. Pitzer College (Claremont, Calif.)
 19. Marlboro College (Marlboro, Vt.)
 20. Grinnell College (Grinnell, Iowa)

NOW: 
 The list of most LGBT unfriendly schools is largely a repeat of last year with 16 returning schools and four replacements (in bold):
 1. Grove City College, (Grove City, Pa.)
 2. Hampden-Sydney College (Hampden-Sydney, Va.)
 3. College of the Ozarks (Point Lookout, Mo.)
 4. Wheaton College (Wheaton, Ill.)
 5. University of Notre Dame (Notre Dame, Ind.)
 6. Brigham Young University (Provo, Utah)
 7. Wake Forest University (Winston-Salem, N.C.)
 8. Calvin College (Grand Rapids, Mich.)
 9. University of Rhode Island (Kingston, R.I.)
 10. University of Dallas (Irving, Texas)
 11. Texas A&M University (College Station, Texas)
 12. Baylor University (Waco, Texas)
 13. Trinity College (Hartford, Conn.)
 14. Auburn University (Auburn, Ala.)
 15. Colgate University (Hamilton, N.Y.)
 16. Wofford College (Spartanburg, S.C.)
 17. Hillsdale College (Hillsdale, Mich.)
 18. Catholic University of America (Washington, D.C.)
 19. Pepperdine University (Malibu, Calif.)
 20. University of Wyoming (Laramie, Wyo.)

** The Princeton Review reports the top 20 colleges in these and 60 other categories in the 2014 edition of its book “The Best 378 Colleges,” published annually since 1992.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Divide and Conquer the TGLB

My "Buckeye State" coverage continues today in Cyrsti's Condo as I read about this tactic going on in my hometown and perhaps others called the wedge. This comes from my hometown Springfield, Ohio Equality Group:

"Ugly strategies of division die hard in Springfield. When ES brought their message of equality to city commission meetings, you could see some members scratching their heads. Why were white evangelical pastors suddenly preoccupied by African-American civil rights when these conservative leaders weren't visibly worried about our community's racial tensions on the other 364 days of the year? Other communities have seen this odd behavior too, and some language leaked from the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage (NOM) clarifies the confusion.

 Under a plan called "Not a Civil Right," NOM explains "the strategic goal of this project is to drive a wedge between blacks and gays." How do they do this? Trick LGBT advocates into comparing their trials to the African-American struggle for civil rights--even to the point of suggesting "civil rights" is an expression that gay folks would never in good conscience use if they didn't want to compare themselves to African-Americans. (Forget for the moment that women, ethnic groups, veterans, people with disabilities, and, yes, religious folks of all stripes also have civil rights.)"

Yes, I know you didn't see any mention of transgender women or men in this post. I will give Equality Springfield a break on this because quite possibly I'm the only transgender person most of them have ever seen and I have only been to one meeting. My second will be tonight.

It's also interesting to note that Springfield is one the last remaining towns of any size in Ohio still resisting insuring civil rights to all it's citizens and the good old "Tea Party" political folks had a hand in planting some of this plan. Remember them? Wasn't their original agenda a fiscally responsible government?

All of this makes the meeting tonight extra interesting in that a Tea Party backed candidate is running for a key city commission spot this fall. Bring on the fun!

**If you live in the area and would like to contact Equality Springfield, here is some relevant info:
Equality Springfield P.O. Box 506 Springfield, OH 45501-0506

Creative Gender Tensions?

  Image from Levi Stute on UnSplash As I moved along my long and bumpy gender path, seemingly I created many gender tensions which were over...