Transgender Visibility versus Liberation

Image from Elyssa  Fahndrich
on UnSplash

 Recently I read a post from my statewide organization "Trans Ohio" which made the point Transgender Day of Visibility's  name should be changed to Day of Liberation. I thought what a great idea. Even though due to weather and mobility issues I did not attend the annual local TDOV event this past Saturday, I was there last year and several trans people are still stuck in my mind who were more liberated than just visible. 

Primarily, the one I remember the most was a young transgender girl. Probably around the age of fourteen who was there with her Mom. Seemingly she could not quite contain how proud she was to be in a safe space with many like minded individuals. I thought at the time how wonderful it must have been for her and her Mom to see all the supportive LGBTQA organizations who had set up there for the day. In the young girl's case, she was more liberated than just visible. The great thing was, she wasn't alone. There were many more in different age brackets attending too. 

The entire TDOV process took me back to the actual day when I decided to put away my male life for good and assume a feminine lifestyle. This included a personal pledge to myself to begin hormone replacement therapy to help me as much as possible femininize my exterior appearance to match my internal feelings. When I did it, I could not believe the amount of weight and stress which was lifted from my shoulders. In other words I was liberated and was coming home to an exciting and new transgender life. Not so different than the young trans girl I talked to at TDOV. From that point forward so many years ago, I started to wonder why I waited so long to do it. 

The main reason was my increasingly complex and pressurized male life kept getting into the way. Successes in my job, having a child and loving my wife all provided road blocks to me jumping off the gender transition cliff and liberating myself after living years in a dark closet. To make matters worse, once I thought I had liberated myself from my gender closet, I discovered I had only became visible in the world and the entire liberation process had a ways to go. Those were the terrifying yet exciting days of learning how to react to and communicate with the rest of the world. As this brand new person within me I thought I knew so well but didn't until I was able to liberate her. I guess you could say I was visible first and liberated second.

During the current wave of anti-LGBTQA and primarily transgender legislation from often crooked politicians it would be difficult to consider changing any of the regular annual trans events such as TDOV to Transgender Day of Liberation but it certainly does deserve a second thought.

Transgender Awareness Week

 During Transgender Awareness Week it is important to note the basic differences we trans folk all bring to the table. From the outside looking in, I am certain most civilians think we are all the same. Persons who want to live as the opposite gender than they were born. The average person isn't sophisticated enough to see gender on the spectrum it is. In other words we all fit in somewhere between the two binary genders of male and female. 

Recently I have been seeing more and more mostly younger people refer to themselves as gender fluid or even non binary. When I do see either of the gender comments I equate them to myself. Even to the point of wondering how a gender fluid idea would have affected me in my formative years before the internet and social media became such powerful forces. A gender fluid idea would have certainly simplified everything I was going through with my gender dysphoria when I was growing up wondering what gender I wanted to be that day. 

Finally the transgender term became the catch term I grabbed onto as being the closest descriptor to what I felt about life. What could be easier than thinking yes I was transitioning from male to female so I was transgender. On my path however there were still many days when I still wanted to cling to my old male life I worked so hard to establish. They were the confusing days when I was having a difficult time deciding if moving forward to a feminine or transgender lifestyle was the proper way to go. None of this major confusion could be understood by the public when I couldn't understand it myself on many days. 

Currently I think I do quite a bit to promote transgender awareness whenever I go out.  Even though I do the best I can to present to blend in with the other women I encounter, I am sure more than a few of the public think there is something wrong with the gender picture they are dealing with. Thoughts of not being accepted used to bother me until I came up with my own little formula to deal with it. I learned the hard way most people are in their little worlds and don't care to be bothered with mine. Then there are the slim few who vaguely recognize something may be out of sorts with the way I look but keep on going anyhow. Finally there are the even slimmer portion of the public who want to make a big deal out of encountering a transgender person. At this point transgender awareness really comes into play. 

Hand Beaded Hair Barret
LizTDesigns
On Etsy 

In many ways I feel transgender awareness is needed in the worst way. The more visible we as a community become, the more political power we have. An example is here in Ohio where the organization "Trans-Ohio" as well as others have turned out in force to at least postpone efforts to try to oppress transgender care for youthful Ohioans. In a state dominated by Republican politicians, every little bit helps. In addition to adding my voice by calling the committee chairperson in the state capital of Columbus, I will be wearing my transgender hair barret to family functions coming up. 

Speaking of coming up, TDOR is fast approaching which is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Sadly at least thirty two trans people have lost their lives this year to senseless violence. So it pays to be careful if you are out and transgender.  

In the meantime, even if you are still in the closet, hopefully someday you will be able to swing the door open and enjoy the nicer more welcoming world to the transgender LGBTQ community. Even if we have to force the door open.

I Can't Help It!

 Here in Cincinnati, Ohio in the Southwest part of the state, hurricane Ida remnants have passed on leaving us with beautiful pre-fall weather. I have some sort of genetic malfunction which tells me fall weather is football time. 

On top of all of that, one of the baggage items I brought with me from the times I cross dressed as a guy was my love for The Ohio State Buckeyes. I never went to school there but grew up approximately fifty miles away. 

When "Trans Ohio" still used to have an in person symposium, I regularly signed up to give a presentation. In it's later years, the Symposium was held in The Ohio State University huge student union which of course didn't break my heart. 

The Ohio State mascot is "Brutus Buckeye" named after the state tree. One year I had my picture taken sitting next to a life-sized bronze Brutus in the student union.

If you are a Cyrsti's Condo regular you have seen this picture before, if not I resend it because Ohio State kicks off it's regular season tonight against Big Ten opponent Minnesota. 

Go Buckeyes!

Photo credit Cyrsti Hart

 

How Much Visibility is Good?

 Another "Transgender Day of Visibility" has come and gone. In fact, a few organizations such as Trans Ohio made it a month long look into various aspects of transgender life.  

With all the positive push to let the public know we are here and really aren't all that different from everyone else comes many other issues. 

Of course the main one is how hard we work to assimilate ourselves into the world of cis women as a whole. Once we have accomplished moving around in the feminine world, do we want to give it all up? I imagine most of us dread the Hey! that is a man in a dress syndrome. 

Then there is the security problem we face as trans women. It remains a tragic statistic how many transgender women are attacked and even killed in the world today. If we are not a part of the fortunate few who have natural passing privilege, are we subjecting ourselves to violence?  Conversely, if you are a young and pretty trans girl and don't let your potential boyfriends know of your gender past, again do you open yourself open to violence.

All questions which are not easily answered every year when we come to the Transgender Day of Visibility. 

On the other hand, being visible can be as simple as going out in public as your authentic self. Of course, even that has been curtailed due to the effects of the pandemic. Everything helps! I remember receiving a comment here in Cyrsti's Condo from a reader who occasionally journeyed out to a venue as a woman and was accepted as such.  As I said, pre pandemic of course. 

Recently though, I have been impressed with the young transgender and/or gender fluid folk I have been able to interact with. During the recent visit with the university class and recent transgender - crossdresser meetings I have attended, easily  three fourths of the participants have been in their 20's or 30's. To a person, they have been wonderful ambassadors for our culture. 

The future lies with our youth of course and the Transgender Day of Visibility should be dedicated to all of them. In many ways, a few of us opened a few doors for them and now are along for the ride. 

It's an exciting one. 

Coming Soon

 

FYI, the email you see is my other email under my legal name which I changed nearly five years ago. 

It's another story I will get into in another blog post.

I will send out this reminder again as we get closer to the presentation which is part of the Trans Ohio Transgender Month of Visibility.

Meetings

 Over the past several days, I have been somewhat busy with going to the vampires for a phlebotomy (when they take a pint of blood out) and virtually attending our monthly Dayton Rainbow Alliance Board meeting.   

The trip to see the infusion vampires was fairly uneventful and didn't even hurt much this time. What hurt me worse was being called "sir" by one of the new women at the clinic. She quickly reversed her gendering to miss after noticing whom she was talking to. Other than that, not much happened as my veins were working well and the whole experience was done before I knew it. It's too bad the blood can't be put to a good use. They take it out when my iron level exceeds a certain point.

The meeting also went well. First of all, the person running it kept everything moving and the information coming. I have a very short attention span and get bored easily.

I did get a chance to bring up my upcoming Trans Ohio presentation on transgender aging issues. I wasn't surprised when the whole idea  was well received and then again, no one really knew anyone who is transgender and living in assisted care. Or a nursing home. 

Now all I really have to do is lock down which format I will use to present it. The organizers at Trans Ohio would like me use the transgender/crossdresser support group Facebook Live platform, which now means I have to find out who to contact to do it.

No big deal.

Before I go, here is one of my fave photos taken a couple years ago at a Trans Ohio seminar with a statue of the Ohio State University mascot, Brutus Buckeye:

More Looking Ahead

 While I am on the subject if looking ahead to the days of relative freedom  I desperately hope is on the way, I found another picture to share from one of Liz and I's Trans-Ohio seminars which we made into a mini vacation.

From 2019. I was very intoxicated when I took this selfie!

The "Big D"

 No, I am not writing about Dallas and all of it's problems with winter time.

My "Big D" concerns my gender dysphoria. 

Yesterday I virtually attended a meeting for the upcoming Transgender Month of Visibility which is being produced as a month long celebration of everything transgender by the Trans Ohio organization. As I have previously written about, my small part of the presentation will be on March 26th. As it gets closer, I will have information for you on how to access it. As it stands now, it should be on Facebook Live. The topic will be my pet passion...care for elderly transgender persons. 

At any rate, yesterday, the Zoom meeting meant I had to put together some sort of a basic "look" for the hour. The whole process didn't take long. A close shave, eye makeup, and lip gloss left me extra time to experiment with all the hair I am blessed to have.

When I was done, I was able to look in the mirror and see the me I was always destined to become. In other words, I was able to defeat the "Big D" temporarily at the best. 

I know deep down my gender dysphoria is a nasty beast which I know is difficult to defeat. Even more so since going out in public is so rare. In fact, so rare is I am basically looking forward to my appointment Tuesday with the vampires when they are going to take out a pint of my blood to control my iron.  

Fortunately I am looking forward to riding my temporary victory over the "Big D" and making my upcoming two public visits more comfortable.  Looking slightly ahead, I have my second Covid vaccine coming up on March 13th. 

My goal is to blend as an "more mature" old hippie woman! Now I need to find a pair of wire rimmed glasses. :) 

In the meantime, I will do what I always have done to defeat the "Big D." I will have to keep exploring my options and working hard to be the best transgender woman I can be. 

No Creativity

When I started Cyrsti's Condo under a different name some six years ago, I had a simple idea to pass along what I had learned from my sometimes crazy transgender life to others. Often I hoped it worked, other times I am not so sure.

The blog slowly but surely wove it's way out of my adventures in different cross dressing situations with a variety of wigs and clothes into leading a 24/7 life as a trans woman on HRT. I even changed my legal name and gender markers on on the available identification forms available to me. Exciting times indeed.

Now though, as life has slowed down, I am searching for different ways to express myself and write about them on the blog. Slowly but surely, I am searching for other ways to be an activist and volunteer more in causes I see a desperate need for.

Take Trans Ohio for example. They operate a very active educational and year around legislative push here in the Buckeye State for changes such as the antiquated birth certificate gender laws. Perhaps they could use some help.

The only thing I do know is, with the way our society is today, any voices out of the wilderness will help.

Perhaps it is my turn to write blog posts so boring as to make paint dry. Because the only paint I can write about is the nail polish I managed to scrape up already.

I have written here about the "anti stealth" . A stage in your life when you are living exactly how you want, regardless of how it plays out in the public's eye.

Perhaps doing a little more work on the activist side will combat that!

Letting My Transgender Flags Fly

I recently added another "Pride" sticker to the back of my "Rolls Royce!" "TOhio" stands for "Trans Ohio" and the Leelah Alcorn is self explanatory!

I am Just a Blank Page

Several times here in Cyrsti's Condo recently I have mentioned my upcoming workshop at this years Trans Ohio Symposium. Surprising, I remember my pledge to myself and Liz last year to be less of a "talking transgender head" jabbering away in front of a group of mixed people. By mixed I mean a predominance of "more mature" questioning transgender or "exploring" cross dressers mixed with spouses searching for a little look at what could be one of the biggest decisions of their lives. Changing gender.

The process is especially difficult as we know for many of us seniors who have spent a life with (what I just heard it called) testosterone poisoning. Precious passing privilege is tough to come by. All of those factors combine to make me an unlikely or maybe highly likely trans woman to talk about all of this.

First of all, the Trans Ohio Symposium percentage wise has fewer "older" attendee's and even fewer of those who identify as a woman. The weekend conference is heavily balanced towards a younger group and many of them transgender men. But that's all good. I don't need an auditorium full of people to fulfill some sort of an ego trip. Just a few connections would be fulfilling. Realistically I know we senior transgender women could be the largest segment of the entire trans spectrum still heavily closeted.

So, this year, instead of the convoluted agenda I submitted for approval; I am going to pass out a blank piece of paper and pencil to everyone. On the paper of course they need to write down what they want to learn from the hour.  (My last two workshops have been the quickest hours of my life.)  Plus, I am going the extra distance to offer my partner Liz as an extra contact to spouses and significant other generics. What else is she going to do? (Kidding) Also, I am going to print a "before" picture of me from the blog-so attendee's can see how far (or not) I have come.

I look at it this way. I have no problem of jabbering for an hour on the whys and hows of my Mtf transition and still miss someone's most important question. HRT alone can fill an hour!

At the least-we will see how many of the attendees ask for my crayons!

Walk Away?

Years ago when I was first free to explore the real possibilities of transitioning, I remember quite vividly reading about one of the transsexuals "coming out of stealth" just to explain why she "got out." By getting out, I mean-she meant, out of the rat race just to live her life in her preferred gender. Commonly referred to as "stealth." - and why she was going back.

I remembered at the time-what a waste of experience and activism. Lately, I'm not so sure.

My daily Cyrsti's Condo blog has become a child at a time in my life when I don't need one. Certainly, I'm not getting rich by all of this, although money is NOT why I started all of this. I wanted to prove I could, tell my story for others and yes-transition.

As transitions go I suppose, mine has been very kind to me. I'm blessed to be able to live a feminine life far beyond my expectations. So far as a matter of fact, I think writing about them has become a chore for both of us. I know I'm not real glitzy and going to the store today in jeans, T shirt and boots wouldn't make for big fashion story-but it is who I am.

My passions burn bright for equal treatment and rights for all citizens of the transgender community but then again these days I feel I'm on the outside looking in because of my age. Plus, the hour or so I put into the blog everyday has the potential to take away time I could have to go to community trans support organizations. Here's an example of my frustration. Today the closeted cross dresser I mention here in the blog told me about the religious classes he was taking at the age of 65. Of course the pastor threw in how religion and God can be a cure for cross dressing. Really?

I also know humans don't live forever and I have a long way to study the religions I want to- such as Tibetian Buddhism, Hinduism and earth based Spiritual beliefs held by native tribes around the world and America. What's the line from "Smokey and the Bandit?" I have a long way to go and a short time to get there.

Recent discoveries of  totally accessing my true gender self has whetted my thirst for more understanding of my soul. I used to be a huge believer and practitioner of transcendental meditation. It has occurred to me now, the blocks I was experiencing could have been self induced gender blocks. And, all of that takes time.

So. as of yet-I don't know where I am going with all of this. All I do know is around the time I do my Trans Ohio workshop will be coming up at the end of May. Plus, Cyrsti's Condo will celebrate another year. In the meantime, we will have business as usual and see what happens!

And My Blog Gently Weeps

From GayStar News and Trans Ohio:
A 22-year-old, believed to be a trans woman, is alleged to have been stabbed to death by her father on Friday night (13 February). Bri Golec, an artist and drummer from Akron, Ohio, is the seventh known trans person to murdered this year. -Trans Ohio said: 'We are saddened to learn of the murder of Bri Golec (left), a 22-year-old trans woman who resided in Akron, Ohio. 'Her father has been arrested and is in jail at this time. Please keep our Akron community in your thoughts and prayers.



This is yet another refusal of the family to accept a members transgender identity.  Here is more:   The language in this report (from Akron) has been updated to reflect family members' clear statement that Golec was male and not a trans woman. We continue to note, as we did before, that Golec's gender identity can not be 100% confirmed based on conflicting evidence currently available. - See more here. 

Transgender Violence

Don, passed this along to me and indeed I had seen it from my Trans Ohio connections but have taken until now to post it here on Cyrsti's Condo:

BRAVO is Issuing the Following Alert for the Safety of the
LGBTQI Community of Central Ohio

BRAVO has recently received multiple reports of anti-LGBTQI pick-

up related bias crimes. The incidents have occurred while meeting

people using the website Adam4Adam and potentially other dating

service websites/apps (i.e. Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, etc.). At this

point it appears that assailant(s) are contacting individuals

online and upon meeting, are robbing them and/or burglarizing

their home. BRAVO has good reason to believe that these attacks

are anti-LGBTQI motivated.

If you have been the victim of, or are aware of, similar assaults

please contact BRAVO (614-294-7867) or the Columbus Police

Department Sexual Abuse Squad (614-645-4701).

For further information BRAVO, can be reached at 614-294-7867 or

866-86-BRAVO. All reports to BRAVO are confidential and may be

made anonymously.

Thanks Don!  I think the important point to be made here is that even though this alert is for Central Ohio, the message is for everyone-everywhere.

The threat of violence has been and will be a real threat for anyone in our community...lets be careful out there!
 

Ohio Proud

Here in the USA Heartland commonly called the Mid West we are commonly thought of as one big "gob" of territory and peeps who "happen " to exist between the elitist "right and left" coasts of the country.  When I lived around NYC years ago, many I worked with could only equate where I lived to how close it was to Texas...really?

We are used to it of course and yes live real lives with computers, electricity and indoor plumbing out here on the frontier.

To break it down for you in Ohio (where every presidential candidate seems to camp out anymore) we have the three "C's", Cincinnati, Columbus and Cleveland. As major metro areas.  Over the past decade Columbus became the most diverse in the GLBTQ arena, spurred on in no small part by The Ohio State University with it's 45,000+ students. But now, the other "two C's" are beginning to catch up.

In August, Cleveland hosted the "Gay Games" and now, the "third C" is stepping up to the plate.  I'm talking about Cincinnati and not the Reds (who haven't hit the ball much this year.). Cincy was always regarded as the backward step child of the "3-C's" for any number of reasons including the influence of Kentucky across the Ohio River to an ultra conservative powerful Catholic church.  Over the past five years or so someone woke up in Cincy and positive changes are coming fast and furious- including this one:

Medically necessary "transgender" procedures will be covered under the City of Cincinnati's health insurance starting next year.

The reason: To help Cincinnati lure citizens and workers.

"Since I've been here I've worked to make this city as competitive and inclusive as possible," said Cincinnati City Councilman Chris Seelbach, the city's first openly gay councilman. "This is a another step in that direction."

Seelbach led a council majority in signing a letter urging the change.

Cincinnati would be the first city in Ohio to offer transgender procedures in its health benefits, according to a statewide advocacy group.

Shane Morgan, founder and chair of TransOhio, which provides education and advocacy, praised city officials.

"For Cincinnati to cover their trans employees – because there are trans employees who work there – is great," Morgan said. "Hopefully cities elsewhere in Ohio will follow that."

Shane Morgan is right.  We are good for business, it's getting the narrow minded bible beaters and bigots around this state to realize it- is the tough task.  In the smaller towns like I live in, you only need to follow the money to why change is slow.  Everyone, being a business person, preacher-or whatever just wants to protect their little pile of sand.

Usually they do it under the guise of "protecting" the kids or God.  So sad.

Tragic

While we bitterly kick around issues such as who is "trans enough" and who is politically correct...the real world comes crashing through...very close to me...since I am from Ohio and live part time in Cincinnati.

From Trans Ohio:

We are a community that pushes forward even as our community continues to face onslaughts of negative press, slurs and excessively high rates of violence.  We have to. 

 

Tiff Edwards, a 28-year-old trans woman of color was found dead yesterday morning in the middle of a Cincinnati street.  She had been shot to death and her body was found by a city sanitation employee. 

 

Tiff is the fourth trans woman to be murdered in Ohio within the last 18 months.  “The brutality and violence we see being committed against trans communities of color is real. It’s happening in our own cities, in our own state. This violence needs to end. Trans lives matter,” Shane Morgan, said founder and chair of TransOhio.

 

Police aren't sharing much information about their investigation. We urge anyone in the Cincinnati community to contact the Cincinnati Police Department or call the Criminal Investigation Section at 352-3542 or CRIMESTOPPERS at 352-3040 or text “CINTIP” plus your message to CRIMES (274637).  Callers may remain anonymous and may receive compensation for their information. 

 

"While I didn't know Tiff or the circumstance surrounding her death, what I do know is that no human being deserves to die in such a violent way. Based on comments from social media she was well liked and will be missed but not forgotten. My prayers go out to her family and friends, may God comfort and keep them through this turbulent time," say Arykah Carter, TransOhio Board Member.

This violence must end.  Trans Lives Matter.  Not One More.

Not one more murder. Not one more death. Not one more.

Not One More.

We simply AREN'T disposable people!!!!

Pre Pride Post Two

Well, today marks the end of a crazy thirty days or so in my life. During the time, I managed to finally publish "Stiletto's on Thin Ice", attend the Trans Ohio Symposium (and present a work shop) jump genders for my family once and let's not forget- a couple of mammograms tossed in.

TGLBQ Pride day today marks the end of my current attempt to catch my tail here in Columbus, Ohio. Pat sent in a comment which rang true to me, for probably the wrong reasons. The comment was another which went into "never-never" land the other day, but paraphrased she (Pat) said something to the effect of me being the "lone transgender woman" in the crowd.  My first reaction was "Wow! I hope not."  Then, as I started to think about it, Pat was right to speculate I may be the only "out and visible" trans woman. Realistically, I'm sure everyone I run into is not going to think I was born genetic.  Just as realistically, do I expect a stealth attractive transgender woman coming up to me to chat?  No.  Would I venture a guess and start a conversation with a person I thought was a transgender woman? Probably not.

Plus, as I have said a number of times, after the parade is over today, my friends and I will be headed to lesbian venues- which brings up a whole different dynamic.  As you know, I do have some experience partying with lesbians and in my view, pretty much go out of their way to steer clear of another woman they perceive to be in a partnership.  On the other hand, since I have been forced into action as one of my friend's wing girl I'm beginning to understand the basics of the hunt.  On a very few occasions, when I was left unattended I became the hunt-only I think because I bring more than a little spice to the adventure. (It's also rumored I am a HUGE flirt.)

So Pat, I'm afraid you could be right. I will say the Trans Ohio group (who will have a presence in the parade) is becoming stronger and more organized all the time but so far they still are dominated by trans men-which is good by me.  Many of who I perceive to be trans women in the organization still don't make eye contact with me.  But, if I go back not so long ago, I wouldn't make eye contact with me either.

Plus, there is the age card.  However you want to cut it, the age difference in those young trans women I may meet is a major problem.  Outside of gender preference, we just don't share much.

As far as those entitled cis gay males and drag queens go - no harm no foul-unless someone calls me the Tr---gender slur!

The way it's looking, I am writing this Friday, posting it Saturday and will get back with all of you hopefully Sunday!

It's Backwards Both Ways!

I'm afraid you all got a glimpse into the contortions my mind goes through with Mandy and Jen and who was going to L.A.! (And who was already there)  Liz always tells me it's a good thing I'm pretty.  A better answer is, it's a good thing-for the most part I can keep my dyslexia to a low roar, stay in the present and roll through life.

One of my best examples of me being me happened in one of the workshops I sat in on at Trans Ohio, which was for therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists.  All of them attended to get extra degree credits and hopefully understand more about what makes transgender women and men tick. (I wanted to see what made them tick!)  They were licking their chops to get at me when I told them I was bi-polar, dyslexic and happened to be transgender. I would have counseled them for half of what they charge!

Getting back to the point at hand- this was the mix up:

Cyrsti,

To set the record straight, I'm the girl planning to do some sightseeing en-femme in LA early next year... How much and where is still up in the air...

Jen: As time gets closer, and I get further into what I plan to do (and when,) we can revisit this. I'd love to meet you for lunch, if somehow you can get down to the Union Station area...that's where I'll be the day I leave town. Just not sure of the date yet. I'm not brave enough to either drive very far in the city, or try city buses en femme. 

Hopefully this summer will give me enough practice that I can feel more comfortable in my feminine persona. That's something I still need to work on. And I have to view myself from the woman's standpoint, not the man's! Great advice...

Mandy

Jen is the one who works on Hollywood Blvd, very near the Chinese Theater! Whew!!!

I'm going to end this post now while I think I have all of this together.  The bottom line is - even if I'm confused, I still love you all interacting!!!

What Would Daniel Boone Say?

If you were asked what the next "Frontier" for human rights was going to be (or is), would you say just peeing in a public restroom? If you face "potty panic" as a transgender woman or transgender man-you might. Often times, the public will give you your gender space until you just have to pee.
We talk about the potty quite a bit around here in Cyrsti's Condo, as we did in my workshop at Trans Ohio and Bobbie was kind enough to further this discussion by sending in this story from the Globe and Mail and the University of Toronto.

Here is an excerpt:

One day this spring a team of volunteers set out to scour the dark recesses of the University of Toronto. Their aim: to catalog and map every public bathroom on the downtown campus.

This was not a bizarre geographer’s quest, but part of a broader trend affecting schools, offices and all manner of public spaces across the country. The humble public toilet is under pressure. Changing times have brought new demands from religious groups, people with disabilities, parents of young children and the elderly, all of whom are pushing for amendments to the traditional architecture of stalls, sinks and urinals.

(It didn't take the) scholars who have studied the way we organize bathrooms to point out to us that it’s sensitive territory. Bathrooms have played a role in major social shifts, from the emergence of women in the public sphere, to racial desegregation to the opening of opportunities for the disabled.

“The toilet [is] a symbol of exclusion or inclusion. Do you provide for people or not?” said Barbara Penner, who teaches architectural history at University College London. “I’ve always thought of bathrooms as a very useful index of status for a variety of social groups.”

Then of course, many in the transgender - cross dresser culture used their ever prevalent male egos to proclaim their success at merely using the women's room was proof of their superiority passing the world as a woman. Even If you are one of the trans nazi's I mentioned above or live deep in your closet-there is something you can do. 

Vote out the socially conservative dinosaurs who won't change the system.

When Your "Comfort Zone" isn't so "Comfortable" Anymore.

I gave quite a bit of thought to all the activity described in the "Hate" Cyrsti's Condo post yesterday and managed to come up with what I thought was a fairly simple idea:  My old comfort zone as a guy just isn't comfortable anymore.

Back in the day, I could out macho my way through most situations I found my way into-or got myself into with my mouth. I could have stared down the stupid inbred hill jack in the truck. No more.  One reason is-we have talked until we are blue or green in the face here about the effects of HRT and the fact remains I am now the proud owner of an increasingly prominent set of feminine breasts. Sure, I see plenty of guys in my town who could easily fill a "C" or even a "D" cup with their "Moobs" (Man Boobs) but in the wrong t-shirt, mine are distinctly feminine to the point of going in for my first mammogram in a week or so.

So what's my problem (you and I are both asking?)  I still have this thin thread connecting to me to my male past.  The thread is the remnant of the lifeline I carried with me when I was deciding how transgender I was.  When I had a particularly bad day experimenting presenting as a woman in public, I knew my gender line was still there to pull myself back into my "comfort zone."

Now it is the exact opposite.  The only reason the thread is till there at all is I'm lazy and for the very few occasions I need to bring him back.  I'm the supreme procrastinator and if something is not beating me in the noggin (such as gender markers) , I will put them off.  You should have seen the confusion on the front desk girl's face as she checked my driver's license when we got to our hotel for Trans Ohio.  I'm sure she knew I wasn't genetic but when she looked at my ID, .my picture looks very androgynous but has a male gender marker.  The worst part is, Ohio is not a difficult state to get your gender changed on a driver's license (but impossible so far on a birth certificate.) So exactly what is it I'm waiting for?

I guess you can say I am afraid to cut that last thread but not for any of the usual reasons.  I have said I infuriate the gender "purists" who recoil at any retention of anything male as they transition, but that's not me. I'm sure as hell not against using anything from my past to further my future.

Setting aside any of my past though,  the old comfort zone "just ain't what it used to be" and the new one is feeling more and more natural.