No Fear

Image from Brian Kyed on
UnSplash

 These days with the advent of all the current anti-LGBT and primarily transgender sentiment going on, it is very difficult not to have some sort of fear of going out in public. I know in my case during my long years of gender transition,  many times I was petrified of trying out my feminine world. Having more experience in failure more than success made me quite timid in attempting more and more on my path. 

I understand how difficult it must be to be a novice transgender woman or man and/or cross dresser seeking to explore the world. I am fortunate to live in a relatively liberal part of Ohio in suburban Cincinnati and I have a nearly constant fervent ally (my wife Liz) who accompanies me almost everywhere. 

Ironically, possibly  coming up at the right time  on the end of the month is the Transgender Day of Visibility celebrated around the world on the thirty first of March but here on the Saturday before. Despite no problems last year when I participated in the event, I can't help having the slightest trepidation on what may happen this year with all the TERF's and other gender bigots being emboldened by all the negative transgender news. Even with all of that, I still plan on being a part in my own small way.

I believe by participating I am honoring all of my past efforts to simply live an authentic life the way I saw fit. Along the way, I had more than my share of testosterone poisoning and conditioning to overcome on my gender journey. Perhaps in my small way, if I encounter any younger transgender women or men I can give them some confidence they can have some sort of a favorable future. I would think many of them are scared about their future. Neighboring Kentucky has just passed a highly restrictive transgender bill and Ohio has tried and failed so far. Which means it is just a matter of time before the bigots in the legislature try again. 

In the midst of all this negativity and darkness regarding our gender quests, it is important not forget our LGBT and transgender friends and allies. I wish I could name all the wonderful people such as the Kim's, Jen's and Debra's  who have touched my life in a positive way.  They embraced me at the same time so many others were rejecting me. Primarily, they enabled me to learn how it would be to live my dream of surviving and even thriving as my true feminine self. 

I'm sure I will mention it again as the Transgender Day of Visibility draws closer but I hope in your own way you have the chance to be visible. Even if you are still existing in your own closet's mirror. You never know when your life may change and you will be able to escape your closet and learn to have less fear and live an authentic life you have always wanted to live. 

Remember life can change on a dime. If you can just locate the dime!

 

Monumental Women

 Of course I am biased but I feel the journey we transgender women go through to live as our authentic selves is epic. Just take a moment and consider the struggles we go through. Such as discrimination in employment, medical care and education just to name a few. 

On this Transgender Day of Visibility I have chosen a wonderful friend I had the pleasure of meeting when she first stepped out of the closet into the world. 

After I share a couple of her life's peaks and valleys since then , I hope you understand why I have given her the title of "Monumental Woman.: It wasn't so long ago I wrote about her and her wife visiting a less than liberal restaurant and essentially getting stared at and gossiped about. 

Her name is "Venessa" who you can see to the left and it is important to note the title really has nothing to do with size. 

Similar to so many of us, Venessa struggles with being a large person which she has had to overcome when it comes to going out with her wife and/or kids, What makes the situation worse is she lives in a less than liberal county just east of Cincinnati.

I also need to mention she transitioned on the job in a very male dominated profession of truck driving. So as you can tell Venessa has gone through a lot to claim her very honorary title of "Monumental Woman." 

As with most of us too, I am sure Venessa would say she still has a way to go with her transition. Or better yet, the world does. Until her wife and her can go out and enjoy a fun, peaceful brunch without being stared at.

I hope all of you can follow her lead and become "Monumental Women" in your own right. And thanks to Connie for initially giving me the term.

As far as I am concerned, I am helping to publicize the transgender - cross dresser support group at the TDOV event in downtown Cincinnati. Maybe some day in my own way I can earn a "Monumental Woman" award.

How Much Visibility is Good?

 Another "Transgender Day of Visibility" has come and gone. In fact, a few organizations such as Trans Ohio made it a month long look into various aspects of transgender life.  

With all the positive push to let the public know we are here and really aren't all that different from everyone else comes many other issues. 

Of course the main one is how hard we work to assimilate ourselves into the world of cis women as a whole. Once we have accomplished moving around in the feminine world, do we want to give it all up? I imagine most of us dread the Hey! that is a man in a dress syndrome. 

Then there is the security problem we face as trans women. It remains a tragic statistic how many transgender women are attacked and even killed in the world today. If we are not a part of the fortunate few who have natural passing privilege, are we subjecting ourselves to violence?  Conversely, if you are a young and pretty trans girl and don't let your potential boyfriends know of your gender past, again do you open yourself open to violence.

All questions which are not easily answered every year when we come to the Transgender Day of Visibility. 

On the other hand, being visible can be as simple as going out in public as your authentic self. Of course, even that has been curtailed due to the effects of the pandemic. Everything helps! I remember receiving a comment here in Cyrsti's Condo from a reader who occasionally journeyed out to a venue as a woman and was accepted as such.  As I said, pre pandemic of course. 

Recently though, I have been impressed with the young transgender and/or gender fluid folk I have been able to interact with. During the recent visit with the university class and recent transgender - crossdresser meetings I have attended, easily  three fourths of the participants have been in their 20's or 30's. To a person, they have been wonderful ambassadors for our culture. 

The future lies with our youth of course and the Transgender Day of Visibility should be dedicated to all of them. In many ways, a few of us opened a few doors for them and now are along for the ride. 

It's an exciting one. 

The "Big D"

 No, I am not writing about Dallas and all of it's problems with winter time.

My "Big D" concerns my gender dysphoria. 

Yesterday I virtually attended a meeting for the upcoming Transgender Month of Visibility which is being produced as a month long celebration of everything transgender by the Trans Ohio organization. As I have previously written about, my small part of the presentation will be on March 26th. As it gets closer, I will have information for you on how to access it. As it stands now, it should be on Facebook Live. The topic will be my pet passion...care for elderly transgender persons. 

At any rate, yesterday, the Zoom meeting meant I had to put together some sort of a basic "look" for the hour. The whole process didn't take long. A close shave, eye makeup, and lip gloss left me extra time to experiment with all the hair I am blessed to have.

When I was done, I was able to look in the mirror and see the me I was always destined to become. In other words, I was able to defeat the "Big D" temporarily at the best. 

I know deep down my gender dysphoria is a nasty beast which I know is difficult to defeat. Even more so since going out in public is so rare. In fact, so rare is I am basically looking forward to my appointment Tuesday with the vampires when they are going to take out a pint of my blood to control my iron.  

Fortunately I am looking forward to riding my temporary victory over the "Big D" and making my upcoming two public visits more comfortable.  Looking slightly ahead, I have my second Covid vaccine coming up on March 13th. 

My goal is to blend as an "more mature" old hippie woman! Now I need to find a pair of wire rimmed glasses. :) 

In the meantime, I will do what I always have done to defeat the "Big D." I will have to keep exploring my options and working hard to be the best transgender woman I can be. 

How Quiet Can it Be?

I am looking ahead to another fairly quiet weekend. Except for Sunday.

This Sunday is the Transgender Day of Visibility in Cincinnati and we (Liz and I) plan on going to it. The weather is supposed to be chilly but fairly clear, so it will be interesting to see how many people show up. More interesting perhaps will be the number of sponsoring entities who set up.

I have written before, the professional baseball team (in a good year) is playing a few blocks away from the event, so it will be interesting how many people get scared away. One way or another, I look for a fairly good turnout. Plus, all the cross dressers in their heels may not want to walk the amount of distance it will take to get to the event location around a big downtown fountain.

Also, I have not totally ruled out Saturday night. It
is always a possibility for a social event too. The cross dresser who has had this huge crush on Liz has seemingly found another lust object, so the invitations may be on the decrease.

What a shame! :)

Monday Meeting Day

The second and fourth Monday of the month are meeting nights for one of my cross dresser - transgender support groups. According to my calendar, it is tonight.  One of my biggest challenges is what I wear. I want to look nice without giving any of the overdone cross dressers a run for their money.

I guess the best description would be either looking as real as I can or look like I am not trying too hard.

As I went into during my last Cyrsti's Condo post, The Skin Game, my skin plays very heavily into how I succeed or not. Speaking of that, Paula Goodwin checked in with a comment on makeup/skin:

"Apart from HRT I have found one of the best ways of looking after my skin has been to stop wearing make up. These days I only wear makeup on Occasions ~ the sort of do where any woman is expected to glam up a bit, I have found that most women my age don't habitually wear makeup, and now neither do I. It makes life easier and my skin thanks me for it. That plus a daily moisturiser (and sun block in the summer) seems to do it for me."

Thanks Paula! My only question is have you had any sort of hair removal work done on your face?  I envy some of the younger trans girls in the group who have and have great skin!

If I am not mistaken, Paula is also heading up to her try at stand up comedy during this years' Transgender Day of Visibility. She lives in Great Britain. Talk about bringing it!

Get Over It

As far as I know now, there isn't much happening this weekend. All too briefly, it seems, Liz's twenty one year old son moved out for exactly one week and now is moving back in with Mommy. She (Liz) swears things will be different with the addicted "gamer" but we will see. At any rate, I will be getting over it.

Perhaps Friday or Saturday we will be going out to a "consolation" dinner. The problem is, I don't get my Social Security check until next Wednesday, so funds will be hard to come by for a couple days. Again, one way or another, I will be getting over it. Then again too, I will have things to go to next Monday and Tuesday.

Looking ahead towards the end of the month, plans are coming together to hold Cincinnati's "Transgender Day of Visibility".  It is going to be held downtown on Fountain Square and should be well attended. The cross dresser - transgender group I am part of is helping to put it on.

Looking farther ahead, I haven't heard anything back of my workshop proposal for the "Trans Ohio Symposium" in April. It's probably not that surprising since the Trans Ohio lost it's former chair person when she recently moved to New Mexico. She almost single handily put the event together for years.

Again, one way or another I will be getting over it.

Trans Day of Visibility Picture

Well, with a gentle nudge, I coerced Liz into posting a picture or two from the Transgender Day of Visibility venue.

Here I am at our table!

Giving Transgender a Voice

Well, another Transgender Day of Visibility as come and gone. As I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, my partner Liz and I helped "person" a table at our local event.

The whole day went well (except for an exceedingly long walk to get to the venue) and one person who commandeered the stage to tell us all, the transgender movement was a four letter word which rhymes with "duck".

Other than the sour bitch, the rest of the speakers were basically centered around the younger transgender and/or questioning  crowd. Of which, there were plenty, which numbered around two hundred and of course was very enthusiastic.

There were also eight to ten other tables (besides ours) who were giving out information. Almost immediately, one in particular caught my attention. It was a table full of information concerning voice therapy from the University of Cincinnati Health Center. I stopped and asked tentatively for some of the information. The person at the table asked what I was interested in and I said, anything I could find on voice therapy through the Veterans Administration.

I was fully expecting a blank look, instead she lit up like a light bulb and asked which VA I went to. Even more important, when I said Dayton, Ohio (not Cincinnati), she said they were starting a pilot program very soon in Dayton. Plus, they were very interested in working with transgender patients. I couldn't believe my good fortune as I have all the contact information.

Very quickly I knew the day couldn't get much better! As soon as I can press Liz into posting it, there may be a picture for the blog.

Transgender Day of Visibility

Well it's here, another TDoV, and it's time to ask what does it mean to you?

Obviously, you don't have to color your hair violet and hit the world head on, you can take a quieter route.

I will be interested today to see what the rest of the participants wear to the Cincinnati event which is rumored to be attracting around two hundred. I wonder if some of, or most of the table participants in my group will be rocking their usual 4 or 5" heels. Some with seamed stockings. I will definitely be doing my share with my hair! With the amount of hair I have, even it was the usual red color it's been, it attracts attention anyhow. Most certainly, a woman my age is not supposed to have this much hair. By now, I am sure you have all surmised, I don't care. I can tie it back to blend in too.

You can do whatever you decide  this year and it will be fine! At the least,  if you are firmly in the closet think about voting out the bigots who are trying to take our transgender rights away! Who knows, someday, you may need those rights.

Plus, even if you are "just" meeting a new person or two when you do go out, it's up to you to educate the public many times.

Finally, if you feel the need to rock those heels and seamed stockings...do it with Pride!

Yawn

It looks to be a real "yawner" coming up today.

Not much to do except color my hair and get some household chores done. To add insult to injury, it is a gray rainy day which even rained out the Cincinnati Reds opening day celebration and baseball game. It's one of the few games with hope attached,since they don't have a chance (yet) for another losing season.

As far as coloring my hair goes, I have to do a better job than last time. Somehow, I left a noticeable patch of hair uncolored on the back of my noggin. Naturally, this time I have to pay more attention. Plus, I am almost to the point of needling two boxes of color, because my hair is getting so long and thick.

I did find out too (from the Ginger Burr beauty blog) that Pantone has selected the 2018 color of the year and the winner is…ultraviolet. It is a beautiful shade of purple. Not as cool as periwinkle, but not as warm as some of the plums that are a little trickier to wear. So maybe my new hair color will fit right in!

Ultra Violet

I did get some good news from Liz yesterday, she wants to get our nails done Saturday before we good to the Transgender Day of Visibility, so far, we will be with five others taking care of the "Crossport Cincinnati" table, which is the cross dresser - transgender support group I belong to.

So, the weekend should be fun!

Spring on the Mind

Even with a winter weather advisory for our area here in Ohio for tomorrow, today's bright sunshine and mild temperatures have me thinking ahead towards Spring.

Now I have the "Transgender Day of Visibility" and "Trans Ohio Symposium" to plan ahead for. Even though "TDoV" is only a week away, I am still planning on attempting to put together new outfits for both.

This morning, as I sometimes do, I received another spring fashion update from one of my fave sites, "Fabulous After 40'"

I loved this ensemble and thought I would pass it along:

Here is your link for more!

Transgender Day of Visibility

This years Transgender Day of Visibility  has come and gone and this year with sort of a special emphasis for me.

My visibility is with me at all times because to many "I yam what I yam"...a proud trans woman. I have often broken down the number of peeps percentage wise who just don't seem to care, notice or are curious from those who are truly curious, even impressed. But mythical figures are not what this post is all about. Plus the worse that happens to me is the occasional mis-gendering pronoun usage.

What the post is about are the two millennials I met this week where they worked. One a server at a restaurant and the other a bagger at a grocery store. One female (I assume) and one male. The young woman smiled and zeroed in on me when waiting on us and the very pretty young guy and I had a brief moment to interact as he bagged our groceries. The first thing he said was how much he liked my top and I almost said I would trade it for his looks and personality.

As the conversation went on, the poor kid almost got flustered around me! Perhaps (I thought) he was transgender or LGBT curious. But all too fast the encounter ended.

Connie made the comment to me on another platform visibility is nothing without viability and if we don't remember we all are ambassadors and/or teachers to the world, much is lost.

So, please take the time to remember, no matter if you are full time or part time, whatever you do in the public eye is so important as we celebrated another Transgender Day of Visibility.