Looking back...Again

Image from the 
Jessie Hart Archives

Rumor has it October is my birthday month and this year I am coming as close as I can  to being seventy five years old without actually being there.

As I am not really in the habit of celebrating anything but my milestone birthdays, so this year is not really in that category, yet. 

Even still this year for my birthday I find myself looking back at how I lived my life, good and bad. As I reminisce, the first thing I always encounter is how long I waited to let the world in to my true self. In other words was waiting until my early sixties until I came out to the world as a transgender woman. The time just felt right for me for several different reasons. The first being my life as a three days a week cross dresser just wasn't cutting it and I was becoming increasingly frustrated with attempting to live a life between two of the main binary genders. I felt as if I was being completely torn apart when I did it. 

I also felt as if I had taken my unwanted male existence and made the best of it for as long as I could and it was time to let it all go. During my male life I had achieved such milestones as fathering a child, completing an education, serving in the military and holding down a good job. And, maybe most importantly, my body had given me a healthy life to work with. To this day, the only operation I have undergone was having my tonsils removed. Most certainly, good health is the key to a good life. 

Perhaps, as I look back, I was a user when it came to my male life and a taker when I transitioned into a feminine world. When I made it into my sixties, I had used up most all of the male privilege life had to offer and it was time for a change. If you want to fault me for feeling this way, I plead guilty as I played the best I could the gender cards I was played. During my life, on occasion, I did gamble on moving and job changes to advance my male life, what I didn't gamble on was when I decided to complete my male to female gender transition. What I did do was explore every facet of the possibility I could live my dream and exist as my feminine self. I went out into many areas of the world to see how I was accepted and in most cases came back with a positive response.

Also, I know in some circles, waiting so long to trnasition makes me less transgender than others consider themselves to be.  I can only say, the past I lived and survived in was a different world than the one today.  Plus, I can care less what anybody says about me except my wife and daughter. With the outside world bringing all the pressure on the trans community politically, it is time to put petty differences behind us and go forward together. 

Perhaps the benefit of age can give us a better look around and not focus on the red hatted crazies who still support a former president.  But on a positive note, it is always good to put another year behind me and always hope for better in the year to come. 

Why When How

Image from Simon Secci on
Unsplash

It's been awhile but every now and then someone asks me how I knew I was transgender. 

The question should be when did I accept the fact I always knew deep down but refused to accept...I was born to be feminine and could not rest until I achieved my goal. In fact, I tried to hide my goal from myself for the largest part of my life.

Even though I was forced to pursue such ultra macho activities such as playing sports, working on cars and completing my military obligations, I made it through. Like so many others, I was drafted into the Army but ended up serving three years instead of two to have a better chance of not going to Vietnam to war. I was honorably discharged in 1975 and would proceed to become a father for the first and only time in 1976. Through it all, I tried my best to ignore my biggest inner truth by trying to drink and run away from the fact I was transgender. 

When I gave my male self his best shot to succeed the more I became increasingly miserable. All the drunken nights did nothing to relieve my gender tension the next day. The only time it did help was when I came out to a close group of friends as a transvestite as a cross dresser was known back in those days. Fortunately for the rest of my Army "career" nobody outed me any further which would have resulted in an immediate dishonorable discharge.

As October and another Halloween is upon us, it is time to focus in on how important the day was to become to me. Halloween proved to be the beginning of my "when" on my path to coming out as a transgender woman. As I will pass along in future Cyrsti's Condo posts, I will detail how important Halloween became to me. In the meantime when started to become so real when I was thinking about my future and how it meshed with the possibility I was transgender. Even though I was working on the when, I still didn't have much of an idea of why I was facing my gender issues at all. At the time I was subjected to extreme bouts of gender dysphoria when sometimes the mirror showed me my old male self and others when it showed me glimpses of my inner feminine self. 

As I moved on, the "how" of what I was trying to accomplish began to weigh heavily on me. After all, I had a lot to potentially lose if I attempted a male to female gender transition. What about my family, friends and finances when my life faced such a radical change. To say the least, the how was very intimidating. What happened was the doors to change opened wide due to lifestyle changes I could in no way predict.

In the short space of two years, my second wife suddenly passed away. Since she was the major force in not starting hormone replacement therapy, I could now research if I could do it. Ironically, soon after I was approved health wise by a doctor, the Veterans' Administration healthcare system which I was a part of began to approve and administer hormones to trans veterans. As far as family went, my only daughter became my biggest ally while I lost all contact with my only brother. And the final how took care of itself when I was able to take advantage of early Social Security retirement. So I didn't have to worry about coming out at work. So almost all the why, when and how's were in place, except the why which I have never quite figured out to this day. Truthfully, I probably never will. 

The whole gender process was just something I was born with and should have come to grips with much earlier in life. If I did, I could have saved myself countless hours of stress and thoughts over why I had to be the one who was different. Once I arrived with the knowledge I was different, I embraced it all and moved on to a better future. 

Finally, I don't say it nearly enough but thanks to all of you who read and comment on all of my posts. Your participation makes it all worthwhile to me.

The Past

As impossible as it is to dwell on any changes one could have made to change a life, we transgender folk seem to always do it.

Take away the fact we are trying to do one of the most impossible things to do in a life (changing a gender) and it turns out we trans people are always trying to figure out a way to have done it better.

One example is timing. Those who transitioned later in life, like me, always have the nagging ideas such as what would have happened if we would have attempted the big move earlier in life.

The easy answer for me is I probably could have accomplished so much more. I spent so much energy and torment trying to live with my gender dysphoria.

When you factor in all the outside factors such as family, society, etc, it just hurts my noggin to even think about it.

My example is if I would have followed my first finance's lead and told the Army I was gay when they came a knocking during the Vietnam War draft. She gave me the option of serving or her. As painful as it was at the time, if I had chosen her, I would have missed out on such tremendous life experiences as having my daughter and traveling over three continents in three years on Uncle Sam's dime. Now I'm happy I didn't choose her!

Still it wasn't good enough. At times I resent the years I spent just trying to live up to the macho code. I can rationalize it all now though by thinking I was just ahead of my time. I was just waiting for the world to catch up. As far as transgender community goes, the good "ol" days weren't so good. After all, I remember men being arrested for just dressing like women.

I could go on and on about the torment of growing up as a boy wanting to be a girl but none of that does any good anyhow.

Maybe I should just keep thinking about how things are, not how they should have been. I am happy where I am now. If you ever would have asked me how it all would end up to this point, I would have not believed you anyway.

Dwelling on the past is useless anyway.

I Tried it Once.

Today I was surprised when a person who should have known better referred to me as he twice in the same conversation.

Finally, I took the next opportunity to throw in the chat I had tried the "he" part of life already and it almost killed me.

He was taken aback and from then on he referred to me with an emphatic "she."

At least I didn't have to explain further what I meant.

Georgie Stone

Another young (19 years old) transgender woman has come out as a LGBTQ advocate. Meet Australian actress Georgie Stone:

Important Message

"Hi! 

My name is Beatrice Rothbaum and I am a clinical psychology doctoral student at Adelphi University. I currently contribute to the Intersectional Development Lab at Adelphi University, directed by Chana Etengoff, Ph.D. Members of our research group identify as trans, queer, and cisgender. 

I am reaching out to you about participating in my research project titled “Trans Self-Efficacy and Well-Being.” The purpose of this study is to explore the relationship between trans well-being and self-efficacy (an individual's belief in their ability to achieve goals). This project additionally explores political activism and psychotherapy experiences.

This project is informed by my trans-positive clinical and advocacy work. In my work, I have learned that every trans story is important and I look forward to learning more about yours.

If you identify as trans, are at least 18 years old, and reside in the U.S.you are eligible to participate in this online survey! The survey may take an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes to complete.

Your participation and responses will remain confidential. Thank you for your trust.

If you are interested in participating or learning more about the study, please click here.

Adelphi University's IRB has approved this research study and all responses will remain confidential. If you have any questions or concerns, you may contact me at beatricerothbaum@mail.adelphi.edu or my Co-PI/faculty adviser, Chana Etengoff, Ph.D., at cetengoff@adelphi.edu.  

I look forward to learning more about your views and experiences, "

Beatrice Rothbaum (she/her/hers) 

Clinical Psychology Doctoral Student 

Intersectional Development Lab

Gordon F. Derner School of Psychology

Adelphi University

Gender Quiz

Yesterday, I went in for my pulmonary breathing test.

I arrived early, checked in at the kiosk and pulled out my phone to pass the time. Nobody gave me a second look.

As I sat there though, my regular Doctor appeared briefly and saw me. Since I wasn't supposed to see her, I was surprised when she came over to talk. She is very nice and I enjoyed talking to her quite a bit until...she stuck the dreaded "he word" into the conversation. For the life of me, I don't know why all of the sudden I am having such a miserable time being mis-gendered.

I have examined how I go about my prep work before I go out and don't think there is much of a difference. But why would someone call a person obviously wearing feminine clothes with breasts and wearing makeup a he?

I have always believed in the power of how a person projects their personal aura. Perhaps, with time, I have become more lackadaisical in public. I just assume most of the public accepts me as a feminine being.

Maybe I should spend more time channeling my inner female.

Then again, the great majority of people don't understand what it does to a transgender person to be mis-gendered. I know it can really destroy or make my day when I have achieved the lofty "she" status in a conversation.

One thing is for sure, the redneck woman glaring and staring at me on the way out didn't care about pronouns. She was just all ugliness.

Then again, you can't educate everyone.

Trace Lysette

Transgender actress, Trace Lysette:

Trace Lysette posted nude for Women’s Health Naked Strength issue, which she described as an incredibly empowering experience given the pressures she faces as a transgender woman, according to an article dictated by the actress for Women’s Health.

In the photo, the Transparent actress posed nude against a tree with her side turned toward the camera. With one hand, she supported herself against the tree while the other rested on the knee of her bent leg, strategically covering her side breast. With the other leg stretched out behind her, the 31-year-old showed off her flawless figure and ample backside while gazing unsmiling at the camera. She wore her long, brown, curly hair loose and flowing down her back while her face was made up with subtle eye makeup and pink lips.

In the article, Trace also opened up about being trans. The Ohio native went on to say:

“As women, we are told not to show our bodies, and as trans people, we’ve been told not to exist. There is something so liberating and beautiful about being naked on your own terms.”

We all should be able to transition as well!!! 

While My Blog Gently Weeps...Again

It's bad enough when yet another mass shooting in El Paso, Texas rocks our country again. But, the second shooting in Dayton, Ohio hit really close to home.

The tragic shooting took place in a trendy restoration district in Dayton, full of bars and restaurants. I know it well. It was one of the first places I went to explore my transgender feminine world. I have many fond memories and can't imagine why a shooter would chose it to forever mark it in this violent way.

I haven't been there for a few years since I moved to Cincinnati, Ohio.

Cases such as yesterday have a tendency to bring fear to my heart when Liz and I are out and about. An example was yesterday when Liz and I finished our witches ball meeting. We were walking hand in hand to the car when I noticed a forty something couple glaring at us. Of course, the younger people had no reaction at all. I did wonder what problem they had with us. Was it because I was transgender or the fact we were holding hands. Guess, I will never know. Maybe they were just anti LGBTQ rednecks. After all, Resident Rump and his best closeted boy Pence were just in town.

Back to the point at hand. I am far from smart enough to suggest anything far reaching enough to stem this epidemic of gun violence in this country.

I do know though, something different needs to be done. Sending thoughts and prayers has just become too hollow.

Perhaps we should take a lesson or two from the fiftieth anniversary of Woodstock...try preaching Peace and Love to get guns out of the hands of those who shouldn't have them to start with. And maybe start with getting Russian NRA blood money out of congress.

I know I am a dreamer but I shouldn't be the only one.

A Busy Week Continues

Since our vacation ended, it seems as if all we have been doing is run.

Monday we got back. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, I went with Liz to her Doctor appointments and finally the grocery store. Then tonight we have a monthly social with the transgender - cross dresser support group we are a part of.

It's hard to believe another month has raced by already. I haven't even figured out what I am going to wear.

Saturday will make sixteen straight days of doing something. As we have another meeting for the Witches Ball Halloween party coming up in October. Plus, while I am on the subject of Halloween activity, Liz and I are going on a ghost hunt over in Indiana on Sunday.

It's no wonder, I am going through so much make up! Here is a picture taken on one of our Colorado train rides wearing little to no makeup...with Liz of course. I chose to wear just a light foundation and eye makeup that day. Wasn't trying to conserve makeup, I was just trying to blend in with most of the other women on the trip.

Back "in the day" when I dreamed of going into a full time transgender existence, Little did I know it would be this extensive.

Tamanna Simhadri

From India:

 Tamanna Simhadri is from Avanigadda, a small village in Krishna district, Andhra Pradesh, but was raised in Vijayawada. Despite poor financial conditions, she managed to complete SSC and pursued PUC, which is equivalent to Intermediate Education, from Andhra University. Later, she obtained her degree in Bachelor of Computer Applications from Indira Gandhi Open University.

 In 2010, she won her first beauty pageant, Miss Transgender Mumbai. The 34-year-old also works with an NGO called Triveni, which works for the welfare of women and the transgender community.

 Tamanna is also the first trans woman to contest the recently held assembly elections in Andhra Pradesh. She fought the election as an independent candidate from Mangalagiri. However, Simhadri lost in the polls.

Currently, she is the first trans woman on "Big Boss Telugu." Go here for more.

She's Baack!

Three thousand five hundred miles (round trip) later, we (Liz and I) are back safe and sound from our trip to Colorado.

Very early in the trip, I began to think of myself as a "navigator." Of course my thoughts had nothing to do with the route we traveled itself but instead with navigating the people around me. To be expected the majority of the bus was filled with people my age or older. I'm nearly seventy. Plus, many were from the rural areas of Indiana. Not quite the hot bed of liberal thought.

Fortunately, I had Liz running interference for me.  Quite early in the eleven day trip, the wife of the host of the trip referred to me as "he." Liz set her straight and from then on, at the least, I was referred to by my name. Not mis-pronouned. I only heard the dreaded he word once to my face.

More important though, was how I interacted with everybody. I tried to smile and be as interactive as possible and it worked.

The moment of truth on these trips always comes when all the riders have to use the rest room. I think there were only five or six men on the trip out of a total of 38 people. So spots in the women's restrooms were at a premium. Most of the places we were able to stop at were at the big truck stops along the interstates we traveled. I am happy to say, I experienced no problems.

The only problem I did experience, was with the thin air as we climbed to Denver (and above), We were able to find a place along the way which sold cans of oxygen to help some of us out. We actually crossed the continental divide twice.

The trade out was the lack of humidity we are cursed with here in Cincinnati. Even though we did experience a little rain in Colorado, overall, we escaped some pretty good sized storms. One of the interstates in Denver was closed by a mud slide, fortunately not in the direction we were going.

I did fairly well in the packing department. Although we did have to was some clothes about halfway through the trip.

What I did come away with was, most of the people adjusted quickly and well to a transgender person being along for the ride. Now they can say they have met a real live trans woman.  Also, since it has been since the mid 1970's I have been out west that far, I had forgotten the sheer size of our country. Plus, I know I have only scratched the surface.

Even though I was welded to a bus seat for that long, the trip will produce many fond memories and I will have a few pictures coming up!

Vacay Post Five

As I read this post, it was interesting to me, it happened all the way back in 2014. The last time I was really "gender slurred":

"Perhaps you remember the experience I passed along from the huge lesbian dance my partner Liz and I went to recently.  The evening provided me with one of the rare moments when someone sought went out of her way  to gender slur me.  Liz learned about the dance from a semi regional lesbian group around Cincinnati who has many events.  One of which is being part of a woman's interest writer's group.  The group is meeting next weekend and Liz wanted to know if I wanted to go.

I went to the site and before I could even check the event out further, I couldn't until I was accepted as a member of this lesbian group.  At that moment, I figured that wasn't happening...especially I believed gender slur bitch was one of the "lead dogs."  As I normally do, I thought what the hell and applied anyway. My answer came back quickly REJECTED!  I went through the usual emotions of being hurt - then mad-then calmed down and noticed how I could contact them-and I did.

I simply said, my application was based upon my lesbian partner's preference and my only real "need" was to be with her.  I couldn't care less what the rest of the group thought about me but it was wrong for whomever it was to seek me out and trash me. I wasn't "crashing the party" I paid my 15$ and was there with my lesbian partner who wanted me there. My final question was, I guess I would not be "allowed" or welcome to accompany her to future events.

Another answer came almost immediately from a person who threw the "group leader" under the bus and said it wasn't up to her to reject me (the lead dog did) but most certainly I would be welcome in the future.

Finally, Liz was going to pull her membership immediately, which I said don't do it. I will explain- and this morning, mysteriously , I began to get the groups emails.

Certainly, I don't have a huge ego stake in this deal but I do have a stake with a trans woman being rejected and gender slurred in a group.  It's their little club and who ever they want to keep out is their business but just don't hide behind some cheap gender slurs or passive aggressive BS. So I told Liz, any event she sees and wants to go to, contact the group and see if I am "allowed" to come.  Sooner more than later, one of us will get a dialogue.

In reality, this whole deal reflects on Liz more than me. Why is she (Liz) being discriminated against because of her transgender partner and how hypocritical is that?

As I said, none of this was totally unexpected to me. I figured I was venturing into a tough part of the girls's sandbox. The whole deal begs the question-which group gay men or lesbian women are capable of hurting us the most?"

Now, I could care less. Let the bitches have their little club.

CAA has signed actor, model, writer and social activist Indya Moore. The transgender, non-binary, Haitian-Dominician and Puerto Rican actor is part of the groundbreaking, critically acclaimed FX series Pose co-created by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Steven Canals, which is currently in its second season.

On the series, Moore plays Angel Evangelista and is part of the largest trans cast in the history of television which includes Mj Rodriguez, Dominque Jackson, Angelica Ross, Hailie Sahar alongside Billy Porter, Angel Bismark Curiel, Evan Peters, Kate Mara, James Van Der Beek, Ryan Jamaal Swain, Charlayne Woodard and Dyllón Burnside.

Indya Moore

Dominique Jackson

Moore has also appeared in campaigns for Louis Vuitton and Calvin Klein and has been featured in W, Vogue, Another, OUT, New York Magazine, and i-D. Earlier this year, they appeared on TIME Magazine’s “Most Influential People” list and they continued to blaze trails by becoming the first transgender person to grace the cover of ELLE Magazine and the first transgender person to keynote the 2019 Essence Festival.

In addition to their work on TV, Moore has appeared in campaigns for Louis Vuitton and Calvin Klein and has been featured in W, Vogue, Another, OUT, New York Magazine, and i-D. Earlier this year, they appeared on TIME Magazine’s “Most Influential People” list and they continued to blaze trails by becoming the first transgender person to grace the cover of ELLE Magazine and the first transgender person to keynote the 2019 Essence Festival.

Dining Out

Last night we went again to the usual upscale Italian restaurant we normally go to...perhaps for the last time. No, nothing out of the ordinary happened. The obnoxious cross dresser was there along with Liz, myself and a recovering older person who needed assistance So we  were able to stop and give her a ride. She is recovering from a fairly serious foot operation.

It was interesting in that we had a chance to really talk to her by herself. She was talking about how long it took to establish a feminine life and how she didn't really want to be seen with anyone closer to home who could tie her back in with her old masculine life. She has established herself as a new member greeter in her church. Plus, she is a board member of the "Rosie Reds" a women's auxiliary of the professional baseball Cincinnati Reds. At the age of eighty, she has established herself as everyone's grandma.

As we talked, I had a chance to insert how bored I was with going to the same place all the time, not to mention how tired I am with the same old bullshit from the obnoxious cross dresser.

Due to our upcoming vacation, plus a ghost tour we are going on, I won't have to worry about seeing him for at least a month.

Unfortunately, that isn't quite true because this Thursday we are going to another social the night before we leave for Colorado (from Ohio).  The cross dresser nearly always comes but there are plenty of other transgender peeps to interact with.  It should be interesting this week because the venue is being moved from a local small independent restaurant who didn't want to stay open past nine for us, to a large corporate restaurant/bar.  As a former restaurant manager myself, I am sorry to see us move. On the other hand I understand.

I am sure I will have plenty of other chances to write about it later.

Happy Ending

I had another chat with the support group moderator (Transgender-Cross dresser) concerning her infatuation with supporting the anti LGBTQ Chick -fil -a. In fact, I tagged her on Facebook  with yet another story of how the chicken joint's head guy called their stand against us a "higher calling."

She fired back at me how she considered herself a "proud transgender woman" and was breaking down barriers when she ate there. I told her again how backwards that was and the only barrier she was breaking down was the company's lower profit margin.

Surprisingly, she agreed with me and said she wouldn't eat there anymore! Good for her. If she is true to her word, at least I did my part to impact the bottom line of another anti LGBTQ company. Liz used to go to Hobby Lobby for some of her craft needs until we learned of their right wing evangelical leanings. Every little bit helps!

I may have to consider another coffee place after this rant from Connie:

"Not much risk involved by giving your money to someone who only likes your money. If she thinks she's being an activist, I would call her a "Chicken Activist." :-) I won't even patronize Seattle's own Starbucks because Schultz sold our Super Sonics to Oklahoma - plus, I don't really like burnt coffee at high prices. Schultz likes to burn coffee and basketball fans, I guess. He will allow trans people to use the restrooms, but you might have to wait until the heroin addict is through shooting up in there. But, hey, nobody's perfect, whether they be a CEO, a moderator, a trans person, or a drug addict. ;-)"

The problem I have is there aren't very many "neighborhood" coffee shops near me to patronize. I need to find out where "Mad Llama Coffee" is to see if it is close enough to go to. I had their coffee and a couple pastries a week or so ago at a farmer's market and loved it.

As far as the sports go, as many of you know, we have our own problems here in Cincinnati. 

Are You Kidding Me?

At Monday night's transgender - cross dresser support group meeting, I walked in innocently enough expecting the moderator to go overboard once again expounding on her favorite topic...herself.

Instead she was somewhere missing in action but a Chick-fil-a cup was sitting in front of her seat. I almost just got up and left. Instead, I stayed and let her know my displeasure.

I said I thought the group was not political in nature and why should she bring politics into it. Of course she gave us all the same old song and dance about how she was helping the transgender cause by eating there. In reality, all she is doing is helping a company which hates the LGBTQ community.

Of course nothing was solved and maybe I got my point across with some of the other attendee's.

Only time will tell.

Say it Ain't So!

After twelve and a half years writing a blog, Stana at Femulate is calling it quits.

Stana

Very simply, most of you know, I have referred to her blog as the "gold standard" of transgender related blogs. You could always count on it to be well written, informative and full of wonderful pictures.

I will miss it totally. Stopping by Femulate was my first move every morning when I set out to figure out what I was going to write here in Cyrsti's Condo.  Many days it was like walking through sand to figure out what (if anything) I could possibly add to create yet another post. On many of those days, Stana was my push to get up and get moving.

Truthfully, after some 5600 published posts, I wonder if I should go away too. I think what I am going to do though instead of shutting down the blog, is instead taking a couple courses on creating a more professional site.

At this point in time, I am thinking of taking some of my vacation (coming up soon) to think about it.

In the meantime, I will always admire and respect Stana for her efforts.

She will be missed!

More Transgender Flowers

Due to the state of my life lately, this comment is actually several days old and includes another comment/picture from Connie. Much of it revolves around the concept of "passing" in a feminine world:

"Because of the work I do, I interact with dozens of people every day. It is usually they who start the conversation, as I'm basically there to water beautiful flower baskets, and people want to tell me how lovely those flowers are. I just reply with a feminine-sounding "thank you," but oftentimes I'm asked how I keep them so nice and lush. If I've passed up until this point, that's OK, but attempting to keep my feminine voice during a conversation, and keeping my feminine appearance during a longer face-to-face encounter lower my chances of passing with each tick of the clock (Is that what they mean by "clocked?")

My philosophy on passing is based on passing muster. This may, or may not, include blending in. I pretty much draw attention to myself while working, but it's in a positive way. I realize that there are many people who may size me up before saying anything at all to me, and I'm confident that, for most people, I am passing muster. What I think is the best test of this is that I seem to be approachable. It's a lot different than interacting with sales people or servers, whose jobs are to be nice to the customer - whatever they may think about a trans woman. 

At one of the locations where I work, on the pier amidst cruise ships and smaller harbor tour boats, there are more tourists from all over the world than there are Seattle-ites, so I'm often asked for directions or recommendations on the best places to see or go to eat. I'm sometimes taken aback when a good ole boy from the deep south approaches me with such questions. I mean, he easily could have gone to the visitor center right there, but he chose to come to me. I think I have the longest conversations with these guys, because I want them to know that a trans woman can be just as approachable and engaging as anyone else. Maybe some of them don't even figure out that I am trans, but it doesn't matter. 

Every once in a while, someone will compliment more than just my flowers. I have sometimes been told that I am pretty, too. Women are more likely to be sincere in saying that, but I've heard, "the flowers are almost as pretty as you are" from men more often than I would like (men think they're so clever with their come-on lines). 

Even if nobody spoke directly to me, I could take solace in the mere fact that I hear, all day long, parents say to their toddlers in tow, "See, the lady is watering the flowers!" At least they're calling me a lady, and I'm sure their kids will grow up accepting that I am, as are all trans women."

Thanks for the comment!

Busy Day

Yesterday turned out to be a much busier day than I expected. In fact, it turned out to one of those "Army" style days when you hurry up and wait.

The morning started with an always exciting trip to the DMV to get new tags for our new car. Well, it's new to us! I didn't think I would be needed, so I grabbed a seat to wait for Liz to wind her way through an insanely long line to get to a clerk. It turned out since my name was on the title too, I had to step up and be part of the process. All went well until the clerk asked how we described our relationship for the record. I said "Partner." She glared at me and said "How long?" I glared back and said eight years and she seemed satisfied and went on to the next question. After an eternity, the whole fun filled process was over.

Next was Liz's eye appointment. The only thing I can say, the place was air conditioned and had comfortable chairs. Soon we left and headed to one of the close neighborhood specialty food stores to look for produce. After squeezing the mango's it was past time to head to the pharmacy because they close every day for a lunch break between 1:30 and two. Liz was offered some sort of a discount card for her prescription. That was the good news, the bad news was she had to call a number to get it. Of course by that time, the lunch break was upon us and we ended waiting the extra half hour to try to get the prescription filled. It all turned out to be for naught because the phone lines were closed till Monday.

All of the fooling around made us late for our next appointment.  We were supposed to pick up a friend and be at a restored Cincinnati church which has been made into a craft brewery and event center. We were checking it out for perhaps holding a future Witches Ball there. Also we were supposed to meet the disc jockey we were thinking of using this year. By the time we got there, we were a half hour late. Personally, I loved the place. It brought back fond memories of escaping a hot humid day in a cold bar drinking cold beer and relaxing. Although the meeting itself made it hard to relax, I was treated like any other person in the place.

The disc jockey was a trip. We as a group got some push back for using him because supposedly he was a neo nazi in his past. So, we wanted to meet him naturally, to hear his side of the story. Interestingly, Liz said if he avoids me, maybe he is a Nazi. Because they would be more apt to steer clear of a transgender person.

To make a long story short, I don't think he is or was a Nazi and someone is just out to get to us through him. It's sad because all the money raised goes to charity (homeless shelter) and we don't make anything for what essentially is huge pain in the rear. I keep thinking this will be the last year.

After taking our friend home, we finally were able to stop at an Aldi Food Store and do some light shopping for a late dinner.

After all of that, we ran out of time and the day came to an end. Thank goodness.

Lesson learned? If and when you get a chance to live a full life as a transgender woman...never look back!