Trans Girl Vacations

Archive Vacation Image from Kansas.

Since it is summer time, it is vacation time around here. Spoiler alert, this post is not about flying these days as a transgender woman or making it through airport check points unscathed. It is about ground based transportation. I did all the flying I wanted to do at an earlier period in my life when the military flew me all over the world.

My problems with going on any sort of vacation at all began when I was cross dressing as a man on a vacation to Michigan one year with my second wife. Very early on, I began to feel the pressure coming on when I couldn't go out in the world as a novice transgender woman. Then, I began to resent the fact I needed to be a guy at all and I wanted to be a woman with all my being. By doing so, I started to grow quiet and introverted which alerted my wife that something was wrong with me and she started to pry. After all, we were on vacation from two successful jobs we liked, were blessed with my daughter we both loved and a 1860's restored house we lived in. Ideally, we shouldn't have any problems but I did. 

As I internalized my gender issue, I never answered her questions as to what was wrong. There was no way I was going to tell her I would rather be spending my vacation time as a woman rather than my male self. So I shut up and did my best to change or hide my feelings. By doing so, I was able to salvage what was left of my vacation. 

When I met my wife Liz, she had a passion for travel and we decided on several rather lengthy bus tours to places such as the Southwest, Maine and even Mardi Gras. The major problem I had except for the often brutal bus rides to my back was the fact the bus's restroom was off limits except for major emergencies. Which meant I needed to stand in line with a group of other women at mostly road side rest stops along the highway. Since there was no way I could hold my business an entire day, I needed to quickly learn what it was like to stand in line to use the rest room. Seemingly, either I became used to it in a hurry or the other women on the bus became used to me being there because they didn't seem to care I was there. 

Even with all of my acceptance, I still felt potential issues coming up when we traveled through deeply conservative states such as in the deep south. In fact, I received a real fright during a rest stop on the Alabama-Mississippi state line. To start with, in addition to the long line waiting to use the facilities, there was the faint smell of sewer gas and all I wanted was to do my business, wash up and get out. On this trip however, there were two women glaring at me when I left the stall, so I immediately thought the worst was going to happen and they were going to attack me. Thankfully, they didn't scream out there was a man in the woman's room so I did get out and hurried my way with Liz to the bus. Once we were safely back on the bus, my paranoia set in and I kept looking for a southern cop trying to pull the bus over. It never happened either and the next stop was a huge truck stop just outside of New Orleans where the bus needed to refill. This time, I didn't have to go and just had to wait for Liz in the so called souvenir shop. The only challenge I received on the trip was when we stopped to eat in a big venue just outside of the "Big Easy."

In the restaurant, I waited as long as I could for the restroom to be empty and took my chances. When I did, one of the women on the trip entered the room with me. She was very civilized and I didn't expect any problems and didn't when she look surprised and just said Oh! you use our restroom. She ended up sitting right across the big table from us and didn't say anything else. 

Our trip to West Virginia to check out local short line railroads we could ride proved to be fun and easy and proved to be a great beginners trip since it was relatively short distance from our native Ohio. Our trip to Maine was a fun trip also since for the most part we were passing through transgender friendly states, so I did not have to worry about harassment. Plus the Maine lobster (or Lobsta) did not disappoint. Finally the trip out west to Colorado was just too long although I did really enjoy the train rides we took out there, especially in Durango. 

Recently, we have not been able to find or afford any more tours so Liz and I have had more "stay-cations." Plus I don't have to worry about my gender when we go or what to do about restrooms. As the years have gone by, I have grown so much more confident about my presentation as  a transgender woman.

Can't wait for our next adventure.

Coming Out Day...Again

I have been out for so long, I don't normally give much thought to the National "Coming Out Day" which was yesterday.

As I have always written about, coming out can be on very many levels. As little as cross dressing and going out on rare occasions when you are safe, all the way to living full time as a transgender woman. Both are equally as important to the overall trans cause.

Through all of this though, I had my own "coming out" experience this morning. With our changing weather and numerous errands to run this morning, I had to go my wardrobe and find an outfit which was comfortable and was designed to blend with the majority of cis women I encounter. I came up with my long sleeved Durango, Colorado railroad shirt, along with a slightly faded pair of leggings with a pair of tennis shoes.

Normally, I am not real impressed with yet another rather mundane outfit but this morning  However, today somehow was different. For once I accepted I had arrived. This was life as I hadn't really planned for but found anyway. 

The coming out process for me went something like this.  I always knew my goal was to blend. Early on I focused on professional women around me. As I progressed though, I decided I loved the "hippie" bohemian styles from my youth. Finally these days I have settled on comfort and whatever style I can afford. I love this part of the year because I can wear my soft sweaters. colorful leggings and boots.

Most importantly, I have reached a point of having confidence in my feminine appearance which accordingly has acted as a deterrent to my gender dysphoria.

Whatever coming out means to you, building confidence could be your best friend. After all, the great majority of us start so far behind cis women applying makeup and having understanding of what outfits are flattering or not. One of the major problems is battling the mirror which always tries to lie to you and going through our teenage years when we are much older. Which leads to the stereotypical mid aged cross dresser in the mall stuffed into a mini skirt and heels.

Rest assured, it is all part of the coming out process. Here's to hoping yours is coming along well too!

Fall has Fallen

FINALLY! A break from the record hot streak we have seen around here in late September and early October. Today is supposed to be over twenty two degrees cooler than yesterday. Fashion wise, it will help me decide what I am wearing to our latest paranormal ghost hunt tonight,  With the new chillier temperatures and with spending all night in a very old mansion, I have decided to wear a long sleeved t-shirt Liz bought me out in Colorado while we were on vacation. I will pair the t-shirt with my distressed black jeans. My goal is not to scare the spirits and blend in with what the other cis women in the group will be wearing.

As far as footwear is concerned, I am declaring this to be the last day for my walking boot. So, just in case I end up walking a long way tonight, I will have the boot to help me. I have not experienced any discomfort in a while and can't get anyone at the VA to give me an answer. So it's gone tomorrow unless I get a call today.

The ghost hunt tonight will preclude Liz and I going to the monthly cross dresser-transgender social tonight.

But I have been attending the planning meetings for this years' Transgender Day of Remembrance. It's tough on me because I am still so new to the Cincinnati metro area and have very little knowledge of the resources available. What I am trying to do is line-up several transgender speakers of color. So far I have been able to come up with a maybe from two. Overall it's going to be a quality somber event and we want to feature the fact the greatest percentage of tragic transgender murders take place against persons of color.

The event will take place this year on November 20th. To make a long story short, I am proud to provide whatever assistance I can.

Not a Ghost of a Chance

Way back when I started Cyrsti's Condo, little did I think I would be writing a post about going ghost hunting. But never say never!

Saturday we packed up for an all nighter and headed on a two hour trip Northwest to join a group of people I never met before to investigate the Randolph County Infirmary not far across the border in Indiana.

Even though Liz and I watch quite a few of the ghost shows on television these days, I still classified myself as kind of a skeptic.

Not anymore! This turned out to be quite the paranormal adventure. Plus, it turns out one of the Travel Channel shows was following us into the place to do their own ghost hunt.

As far as anything being remotely tied in with a transgender topic, I had to get through the increasingly major hassle of reminding the others of my true gender. After I told the head guy though, everything seemed to go OK.

Of course I wasn't dressed to impress in an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt Liz bought me in Colorado.

Finally, I was not fortunate to have seen a full apparition, but I did feel one a couple times and heard several highly suspicious noises. The place was definitely haunted. 

She's Baack!

Three thousand five hundred miles (round trip) later, we (Liz and I) are back safe and sound from our trip to Colorado.

Very early in the trip, I began to think of myself as a "navigator." Of course my thoughts had nothing to do with the route we traveled itself but instead with navigating the people around me. To be expected the majority of the bus was filled with people my age or older. I'm nearly seventy. Plus, many were from the rural areas of Indiana. Not quite the hot bed of liberal thought.

Fortunately, I had Liz running interference for me.  Quite early in the eleven day trip, the wife of the host of the trip referred to me as "he." Liz set her straight and from then on, at the least, I was referred to by my name. Not mis-pronouned. I only heard the dreaded he word once to my face.

More important though, was how I interacted with everybody. I tried to smile and be as interactive as possible and it worked.

The moment of truth on these trips always comes when all the riders have to use the rest room. I think there were only five or six men on the trip out of a total of 38 people. So spots in the women's restrooms were at a premium. Most of the places we were able to stop at were at the big truck stops along the interstates we traveled. I am happy to say, I experienced no problems.

The only problem I did experience, was with the thin air as we climbed to Denver (and above), We were able to find a place along the way which sold cans of oxygen to help some of us out. We actually crossed the continental divide twice.

The trade out was the lack of humidity we are cursed with here in Cincinnati. Even though we did experience a little rain in Colorado, overall, we escaped some pretty good sized storms. One of the interstates in Denver was closed by a mud slide, fortunately not in the direction we were going.

I did fairly well in the packing department. Although we did have to was some clothes about halfway through the trip.

What I did come away with was, most of the people adjusted quickly and well to a transgender person being along for the ride. Now they can say they have met a real live trans woman.  Also, since it has been since the mid 1970's I have been out west that far, I had forgotten the sheer size of our country. Plus, I know I have only scratched the surface.

Even though I was welded to a bus seat for that long, the trip will produce many fond memories and I will have a few pictures coming up!

Growing up Fast

Coming out as a transgender girl at the age of six means you have to hit the road running.

First of all, the mere fact you are doing it at all is front page news and then the real fun begins. In this case I'm referring to Coy Mathis who was diagnosed as being transgender at the age of four in Colorado. Predictably when she started school, Coy was banned from using the girls bathroom.

Her parents promptly fought back and filed a formal discrimination lawsuit against the school system and they won!  In a landmark decision, the Colorado Civil Rights Commission ruled Coy must be permitted to use the girl's bathroom!

There simply are no words to adequately express admiration for Coy's family (and others)  who are carrying the transgender rights fight to the public and the courts!