While my Blog Gently Weeps

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance when we pause to remember all of the transgender women and trans men who have tragically lost their lives this year. Just trying to live as their authentic selves. In addition to the thirty two deaths reported in 2022, the news of the mass shooting at a Colorado Springs Sunday morning (CNN was reporting) a shooting at a LGBTQ nightclub which left five people dead and at least eighteen injured which will surely increase the total.

Just saying this is sad and tragic is not enough of course. Too many of the deaths come from the ranks of transgender women of color and some of them were engaged in the sex trade. Mainly because of family problems when they came out and couldn't find employment because of discrimination. Most had two strikes against them before they ever had a chance to live.

 The lessons to be learned from the Transgender Day of Remembrance are few and impactful. Without living in fear due to potential violence, there are plenty of common sense rules you can follow to help insure your safety. First of all you have to remember when you leave the boys club to play fulltime with the girls you immediately lose a certain amount (or all) of your male privilege. The most important privilege you lose is access to personal safety. An example is don't leave yourself open to being accosted in a dark deserted parking lot, when you enter the world of cis women everywhere. All cis women of course know the possible dangers they face in certain situations. It's why cis women travel in groups when they have to go to possibly dangerous situations. 

Whatever excuse you may try to explain what women go through, very simply neither gender should have to go through violence often perpetuated by toxic males. The moral to the story is to never live scared but learn to watch your surroundings and simply know women have much more to be careful of. Plus,  the extra sad part of transgender murders comes with the element of surprise is thrown in. Or, when a guy is negatively surprised when he is suddenly attracted to an attractive transgender woman. 

Every year this time I hope the new year brings a huge decrease in the number of transgender deaths due to violence. Sadly, it seems a whole political party has dedicated itself to restricting LGBTQ rights, so change will be difficult to come by. Even still, in the future, I hope to weep fewer tears. 

TDOR

 If you didn't know, "TDOR" stands for Transgender Day of Remembrance. The day set aside to remember all the tragic, senseless killings of transgender women and men around the world. 

Here is a statement from the day's founder:

"Transgender Day of Remembrance seeks to highlight the losses we face due to anti-transgender bigotry and violence. I am no stranger to the need to fight for our rights, and the right to simply exist is first and foremost. With so many seeking to erase transgender people -- sometimes in the most brutal ways possible -- it is vitally important that those we lose are remembered, and that we continue to fight for justice."
- Transgender Day of Remembrance founder Gwendolyn Ann Smith

It's always important to note also the great majority of transgender deaths in the U.S. are trans women of color. 

It's also important to remember on this day, we all have to be careful and do the basics to protect ourselves. 

TDOR Revisited

As predicted, last night's Transgender Day of Remembrance here in Cincinnati was a somber quality event. The speakers did a very good job of relating their personal trans experiences growing up. All five speakers were of color which represented the great majority of slain transgender people so far in 2019.

Over 200 people attended.

The goal for next year of course is not to have to have a TDOR at all. Maybe all these senseless crimes against our community will end.

TDOR

Wednesday (today) is a sad day. November 20th is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. The day we pause and remember all the tragic deaths around the world

Sadly, so far in 2019 we have lost an estimated 22 transgender or gender non conforming people due to violent measures. Most of which, are trans women of color. It's important to note, these are the reported deaths.

I am fortunate enough to be on the planning committee for the local Cincinnati, Ohio solemn get together/vigil.

I am proud to say it is going to be a quality event.

For a complete list of transgender individuals slain this year, go here to "HRC's" site.

Transgender Fun?

With my colonoscopy behind me (no pun intended) it is now time to move on to more pleasant pursuits.  By the way, the colon check came up with no major problems and a scheduled return trip in five years. I so fortunate now my heart, lung and colon tests have returned no problems.

Now I can get back to day to day life. Wednesday night I have a Transgender Day of Remembrance committee meeting at a well known coffee shop. I'm in good shape for the meeting for a change because I was instrumental in lining up two speakers, who in turn lined up another speaker.  As I have mentioned before, the event is coming together well.

The weekend is turning out to be a busy one.  Friday night we are going against the political grain and will be joining the former moderator/social director of the transgender - cross dresser group I am still part of. I have decided to pick and choose the most interesting sounding events from both groups and see what happens. I feel like neither side controls me so I am free to do what I want to do. Plus, if the truth be known, if I ruffle a few feathers, so be it. We will be going to a dinner and Halloween party.

Saturday, the football gods are with us again.  The Ohio State Buckeyes play the very competitive Wisconsin Badgers at noon...which will give us time to go to a local Creole Restaurant I have been wanting to go to for quite a while.  It is actually going to be a belated birthday dinner for me.

The weekend will wrap up of course on Sunday. Since the football Bengals are no wins and seven losses, we have no real desire to watch them anymore unless improvements are made. So, we have plenty ot time to run our errands.

So life is good.

Success?

Somehow, someway, I have been able to line up a couple speakers of color for this year's Cincinnati "Transgender Day of Remembrance." Now, all I have to do is find a couple more before the November event on the 20th.

The whole situation has taught me how isolated I am from the transgender community as a whole and in particular, transgender people of color.

The event itself is turning out to be an evening to be proud of. We have a class venue which is donating it's space free. With plenty of room for the participating groups, such as HRC, GLSEN and Crossport to set up in. Crossport is the local transgender - cross dresser support group I am part of.

Photos of the deceased trans people who died in this country this year will be presented on  an endless loop during the event and even a showing of the short documentary film on Leelah Alcorn will be shown. You may (or may not) remember, Leelah was the transgender teen who committed suicide locally around here a couple years ago. Her parents were forcing her to go through a Christian form of gay conversion therapy.

Even the catering is being set up to satisfy the needs of Vegan and Kosher attendees.

So far, so good on the planning!

Fall has Fallen

FINALLY! A break from the record hot streak we have seen around here in late September and early October. Today is supposed to be over twenty two degrees cooler than yesterday. Fashion wise, it will help me decide what I am wearing to our latest paranormal ghost hunt tonight,  With the new chillier temperatures and with spending all night in a very old mansion, I have decided to wear a long sleeved t-shirt Liz bought me out in Colorado while we were on vacation. I will pair the t-shirt with my distressed black jeans. My goal is not to scare the spirits and blend in with what the other cis women in the group will be wearing.

As far as footwear is concerned, I am declaring this to be the last day for my walking boot. So, just in case I end up walking a long way tonight, I will have the boot to help me. I have not experienced any discomfort in a while and can't get anyone at the VA to give me an answer. So it's gone tomorrow unless I get a call today.

The ghost hunt tonight will preclude Liz and I going to the monthly cross dresser-transgender social tonight.

But I have been attending the planning meetings for this years' Transgender Day of Remembrance. It's tough on me because I am still so new to the Cincinnati metro area and have very little knowledge of the resources available. What I am trying to do is line-up several transgender speakers of color. So far I have been able to come up with a maybe from two. Overall it's going to be a quality somber event and we want to feature the fact the greatest percentage of tragic transgender murders take place against persons of color.

The event will take place this year on November 20th. To make a long story short, I am proud to provide whatever assistance I can.

Das Boot

Yes, I am still wearing this damn walking boot. At certain points in time it seems as natural as being transgender. At other times, as unnatural as being trans is.

While I know (after so many years) I have always been gender dysphoric, it is sad I have taken this long to come to terms with it. So, how did I?

Unfortunately, I don't have any magical formula. Everyone is on their own discovering their gender boundaries...or should I say, their personal gender compass.

As so called science is coming to terms with the differences in the human binary concerning sexuality and gender, I am a believer in yet another binary. The one which involves the so called transgender umbrella. Some of us opt to be part time cross dressers, others decide to go all the way through sexual realignment surgery. Ultimately, we are all related in a very complex, difficult process.

The problem is dealing with feuding under the umbrella. Who gets wet and who stays dry. Seemingly, too much of the male ego bleeds through, leading to pushing and shoving for room.

Again, I wish I had an magical answer for all of this too. An example was the other night when I met another two people going to the ill-fated Transgender Day of Remembrance meeting which never happened. I innocently introduced myself, received a nice return from one of the people. But of course the obviously transgender person, had a tough time revealing her name. I have no idea why she was being that way. Unless we had met before and I did something she didn't particularly like. Oh well!

These days I am concentrating on not aggravating people. So that means being secure in my little space under the transgender umbrella.

Hopefully, the boot is on it's way out so I won't take up so much room! 

Coming Up

Another fairly busy week is shaping up.

Tonight I have to find a downtown coffee shop for a Transgender Day of Remembrance event coming up in November. I have agreed to sit on the planning committee.  If I can find the place and secure a close by parking place I will feel I am lucky, as I am still wearing this damn walking boot.

Thursday, is another social event for the Crossport transgender - crossdresser support group I am part of. We are trying out a new place, which is always exciting. With the weather the way it is (warm) I may decide to wear one of my long summer sleeveless maxi dresses. It will be very stylish with my boot! :)

Saturday is another The Ohio State University game to watch, it's the last "tune-up" game before tangling with Nebraska next week. After the football game, Liz and I are supposed to meet a few other friends for dinner.

Of course, none of this includes the regular weekend errands we have to do.  So I am sure something else will come up to do.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Here in Cincinnati, Ohio we are having two events to mark Transgender Day of Remembrance and the Trans Day of Visibility today.

As I have written many times here in Cyrsti's Condo, many of us can help each vigil along. Often in small ways from deep within our own closets. An example would simply to vote against the local and national bigoted candidates clogging the political system.

These days too, are a good time to remember all the trans women who have been murdered, for just trying to live as their authentic selves. From the top down in this country, people are trying to erase our very existence. It's always a good time to think about being careful.

But, proud and visible we are! The transgender tribe is getting stronger and stronger all the time. Even the younger generation is becoming more and more gender blind and accepting. Plus, finally, we are becoming a vibrant "T" in the LGBT coalition..

There is still a ton of work to do and we all must stay vigilant of those seeking to take our rights away or worse yet, even harm us. 

Now is a good time to pause for a second and remember all those we have lost and remember all the work yet to be done.

Good Karma Day

I am a real believer in Karma and today should be a good one for me. (I need so much!)

My first stop this afternoon will be a stop at the site of the Greater Cincinnati Transgender Day of Remberance. As I have written here, I am on the set up committee and my responsibilitees include gettting participarts from "Point A" to "Point B" etc. I figured it would be important if I knew first :).

Tonight I am going to a monthly "safe haven" meeting and donating a few supplies for the hardcore homeless in Cincinnati.

At least it will be a good day for it-70 and sunshine. Tomorrow windy and temperatures in the 30's with the possibility of snow. Never a boring moment!