My Last Date...as A Man

 

Long Dark Haired Wig Look
From the Jessie Hart 
Archives.

In many ways this was the final straw in my attempt to live in a male world. Approximately two years following the passing of my wife, I had the opportunity to date the Mother of one of my servers. She was smart, single ( near my age ) and very attractive. If I was a "real" man, she was the ideal woman I had ever wanted. As always, I realized nothing had really changed with my gender issues when it came to dating other women. Still I went ahead and tried and succeeded on setting up a few dates.

Along the way, we went on dates to places such as the Frank Lloyd Wright designed home in Springfield, Ohio all the way to a company sponsored suite at a Cincinnati Reds professional baseball game. Seemingly we were moving along at an reasonable rate until she sprung the question on me which probably ended it all. She asked me what my deceased wife would say about the situation I was in life without her.  I fired off the answer I drove her to an early grave without thinking of the consequences. Even though essentially I told the truth, I didn't immediately realize my future days with her were numbered. Obviously I decided not to mention any of my gender issues as probably added to the extreme stress of my wife's life.  

Through it all, my daughter had monitored my return to the dating field with some interest and at that time I hadn't come out to her as a transgender woman yet. As a gift she gave me two tickets to the late Joe Cocker who was performing at a nearby outdoor venue. I immediately took the opportunity to invite my new friend to join me. Initially she said yes and I thought all was good. Then about three or four days later she abruptly called me and said she wanted to end all dealings with me. I was shocked and said goodbye forever. Then I had to decide who I would invite to go with me to the concert.. Fairly quickly i decided I only knew one other woman well enough to invite and that was me. It was a great opportunity to judge how well I could present in a totally different situation. 

First I had to come up with a proper wardrobe choice which would blend in with a probable slightly upscale audience. For the evening I chose my black slinky wide legged slacks along with a black sleeveless top. The outfit was one of the benefits of having nearly hairless arms. By this time, I had arrived at a point where I didn't have to worry anymore what people may think of me for having hairless arms when I was still presenting as a man. For the evening I selected my long black straight haired wig to go with comfortable flats and sensible makeup to fit in. 

To my knowledge, all went well during the concert. Nobody gave me an extra glance and I was able to enjoy a cocktail as well as the concert. I ended up being one of the better dates I had ever had. A fitting end to my often discouraging history of my dating as a man. Something it turned out I never wanted to do anyway.  

When I transitioned to a transgender woman and was dating women such as my future wife Liz, I relaxed and was finally able to enjoy a new and wonderful life. The entire process was similar to everything else I had discovered about myself. Living a gender lie was never easy or successful, My last date as a man just proved it again.

Still in Vogue

 This movie actually goes back to 2013 but it's  theme still remains true.

 

A Musical Expert

 When I asked for more input on other transgender or cross dresser related music, I forgot to think about Connie who in many ways is our musical expert around here. 

Here are her additions to our trans musical list:

"Not counting the 50+ trans-themed parodies I've written and performed, there are two Beatles songs

Photo Courtesy Connie Malone

that come to mind. There is speculation whether or not either of them was purposely trans related, but their lyrics certainly grabbed the ear of this trans girl. The song, "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da," has that mixed-up verse where Desmond does his pretty face, and at night she is a singer with the band (instead of it being Molly, as in an earlier verse). Did John really just mess up the lyrics there, or was he saying that Desmond was trans or a female impersonator? Since I have done just exactly that many times, it's the only way I picture it, myself. In "Get Back" there is that talk of Sweet Loretta, who was a man who thought she was a woman. There are all sorts of theories about that song, but, of course, my interpretation has always been influenced by my own gender identity.

I've also been subjected to the "cleverness" of an idiot who laughed with his buddies after putting "Dude Looks Like a Lady" on the jukebox. I don't get it, cuz I've never been anything like a "dude." :-) Then, there was the a-hole at karaoke who arranged, privately, to sing "Lola" and then asked me to go up with him for "support." People often ask me to help them, so it didn't bother me until I was on the stage and the intro to the song started playing. I walked right off the stage, and later gave the karaoke host the what-for - to which she replied that it hadn't even occurred to her that it might have been a joke at my expense. We can't help but be sensitive to these things, but they are usually not worthy of anything more than an eye-roll. As Amy Schneider, the recent Jeopardy! champion, said of the negative comments she was receiving, nobody could ever come up with anything she hadn't thought about herself countless times over her lifetime"

Thanks for the extra input! Amy Schneider was certainly correct in that no one could say anything more negative about ourselves than we have ever thought. I know with me, "Dude Looks Like a Lady" still resonates when I look in the mirror on certain mornings. On those occasions anymore, I remember the number of times in the past when the mirror has lied to me and simply move on with my life. 

I just wish I was musically inclined enough to write my own retort to "Dude". 

The Soundtrack of my Life

 Recently I saw a post which asked which song the readers liked better, specifically Lola by the Kinks or Take a Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed. Those for the most part were main stream tunes and of course there were others. Such as in 2006 when Jayne Country sang Man Enough to be a Woman. I don't know if my

Jane County

wife's musical tastes went farther than I thought but she told me nearly the same thing one day when we were having a huge fight caused by my cross dressing when I was rapidly thinking of if I could make it as a full time transgender woman. She (my wife) accepted me as a cross dresser but never accepted any thoughts of being a transgender woman. 

Before I ended up in the commercial food service business, I was a disk jockey in college and in the Army. I also pursued it for awhile following my stint in the military until my daughter came along and I ended up buying my own pub/pizza parlor with a friend. Lola was actually released in 1970, two years before I was drafted. During the one radio show I was running at night while I was still in college, I had a guy who positively loved the Kinks.

One night he called me up in a panic and asked if Lola was really about what he had heard and thought it was. In other words was Lola  really a man. I couldn't hold back and told him yes, in reality Lola was really a man. He hung up in a panic and I never heard back if his beloved Kinks maintained their spot as his number one group.

Take a Walk on the Wild Side was released by Lou Reed in 1972. as a tribute to Andy Warhol's glamorous transgender ladies from his famous Factory days. In those days, I was taking my own walk on the wild side by taking on Army basic training. 

As I said, due primarily financial reasons, I left the radio business and stayed in the food service business after my pub closed. Perhaps I am missing other strong transgender and/or cross dressing music but the next I remember was Dude Looks Like a Lady which was released in 1987. Ironically the song was about Vince Neil of Motley Crue when it was released by Aerosmith.  It turned out the song wasn't meant to describe actual cross dressers or transgender women at all. Even though, it was the music which caused me the most amount of pain.

The more I began to sneak out in my medium sized town as a novice transgender woman, the more I would encounter the occasional person who would recognize me. I will never forget the night my wife and I attended a party of my store employee's and as soon as I got there the DJ played "Dude Looks Like a Lady."  I just ignored it and my wife didn't seem to notice it, so all turned out without a problem.

The problems with the Aerosmith music came a couple years later when I was out trying to live my new life in a feminine world. As I was sitting at the bar enjoying a drink with a transgender woman friend of mine, these guys decided it was cute to play the "Dude" song five times in a row. It got so bad we were asked to leave by a spineless manager. 

It all turned out in my favor nearly a month later when the manager was fired and the crew found me in a close neighboring venue where I was welcome. They invited me back, which I took advantage of. 

I'm sure you all my be aware of other cross dressing or transgender music I possibly missed. If so, please let me know. 

Batgirl

From Rolling Stone:

 Ivory Aquino has been cast to portray Alysia Yeoh, the roommate and best friend of the titular superhero also known as Barbara Gordon, in upcoming HBO Max film Batgirl, as Variety reports.

Aquino’s character first appeared in a DC Batgirl issue by Gail Simone and artist Ardian Syaf in 2011. She will star opposite Leslie Grace’s Barbara Gordon. Both Aquino and Yeoh are transgender. This is the first time a live-action film adaptation of a DC Comics movie will feature an openly trans character.

In 2017, the Filipina actress portrayed transgender activist Cecilia Chung in the ABC miniseries, When We Rise.

Sing Like a Bird?

 Over the years I have enjoyed hearing and watching several of my transgender and/or crossdressing acquaintances perform on stage. No matter how small the venue. Most recently before the pandemic hit the transgender - cross dresser support group my partner Liz and I are part of met to watch or perform karaoke.  A couple turned out to be amazing singers, able to look and sound the part of feminine participants.

Photo by Nikola Duza on Unsplash

Before karaoke and before I became bored with the whole drag queen scene, I used to go to the occasional drag show. In fact, Liz and I's first date was a drag show in a gay bar. Regardless of the entertainment, the date must have gone OK because we are still together  ten years later. As I wrote though, the overall scene was becoming boring to me as you can only see so many cis-gay guys attempt to mimic the same songs so often. Plus, perhaps the most important reason I was becoming bored was the further I went into living my life as a transgender woman, the less I wanted to be compared with the drag queens on the stage. The opposite was true only if the performer appeared to be impossibly feminine. Then I was envious.

Ironically, over the years, I only had the chance to participate in one "pageant". It was put on in Cleveland, Ohio by one of the earliest transvestite groups I was a member of. Since I was a seasoned radio disc jockey used to being in front of groups, I thought why not? Well, I learned quickly the "why not" was because I had no rhythm what so ever and could not financially come up with a proper pageant dress. The best I could hope for was the consolation prize I earned. My stage "career" as a transgender woman was over even though I had an acquaintance in Columbus, Ohio who tried for years to start a "all cross dressing girl band." I was so bad at mastering any kind of a musical instrument I had to turn her down.  The best that could have happened was a guest shot on the Jerry Springer Show 

I suppose I just am envious on several fronts. I know Connie is a musician and I know a couple others who are singers. I have met some rather large drag queens who could do some dramatic moves in impossibly high heels without losing their wigs. My daughter's hair solon is co owned by a gay man who can cross dress himself into a beautiful blond woman. Along the way I have been "ordered" to sing a karaoke song of my choice by a butch lesbian with a cowboy hat (another blog post.) And, maybe most notably missed out on a group of women strippers visiting a lesbian bar.

We only live once. Maybe I should relax and stop looking so hard for the next adventure. 

   

The Funniest Transgender Mean Girl

 

If you don’t have Peacock, there’s a good chance you’ve missed out on one of the best high school shows on TV right now: Saved by the Bell.

The reboot of the classic teen sitcom not only features most of the original cast, now as adults, but has a great cast of young actors playing current Bayside High students. One of those is Josie Totah, a young actress you might recognize from the film Moxie or Big Mouth. She plays Lexi, a popular girl and cheerleader at the school who is also trans.

Totah’s character is easily the funniest on the show, which is filled with hilarious characters and young actors. The series really knows how to balance her bitchy, mean-girl attitude and privilege with hilariously self-aware trans jokes.

Another highlight of the show is Lexi’s relationship with her boyfriend Jamie (the son of original Saved by the Bell character Jessie Spano). The two have been best friends since childhood, and Lexi regularly has to face her insecurities about the relationship.

The new season is currently streaming on Peacock.

A Transgender Gem

 

Last year, Jamie Lee Curtis's daughter Ruby sat down in the family's Los Angeles backyard with her mother and her father, comedy director Christopher Guest.

Ruby had something to tell them. She was going to come out as trans. But she wasn't able to.

"It was scary — just the sheer fact of telling them something about me they didn't know," Ruby tells PEOPLE, sitting down in their living room last week. "It was intimidating — but I wasn't worried. They had been so accepting of me my entire life."

So Ruby left, and then texted her mother. Remembers Jamie Lee: "I called her immediately. Needless to say there were some tears involved."

Transgender Emmy

 

The ABC’s kids drama series First Day, starring transgender actress Evie Macdonald, has won an International Kids Emmy Award.

In the show, Evie (pictured  left) plays Hannah Bradford, a 12-year-old transgender girl, who is navigating starting at a new high school as her authentic self

First Day premiered on ABC ME in March 2020, and subsequently was a huge success overseas.

It screened around the world including in the US, UK, Canada, Japan, France, Finland, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Israel, New Zealand, Taiwan, Ireland, South Africa, and Brazil.

Now the show has won best live-action series at the 2021 International Kids Emmy Awards, announced online this week.

After the win, the show’s producer Kristy Stark thanked everyone involved with the show.

No Plain Jane

 Amazon Prime Video has announced the new coming-of-age docuseries Always Jane, following transgender teen Jane Noury and her journey to live her most authentic life. Premiering on Friday, November 12, the four-part series will take an intimate look at the Noury family’s lives as they tackle obstacles with unconditional love and support.

The show focuses on Jane Noury who lives with her family in rural New Jersey. Like any teenager, she must balance friends, family, and school. It's not the easiest time to grow up but Jane is able to set her sights on life beyond her family.

Transgender Talent

 Transgender Talent, the transgender owned and operated management and production company, is looking to help Hollywood get better at portraying transgender and nonbinary characters on screen with the launch of a new consulting arm.

The company, which represents talent including David Makes Man’s Jamie K. Brown and The Craft: Legacy’s Zoey Luna, has opened the consulting business to assist the entertainment industry’s drive to increase diversity and inclusion both in front of and behind the camera.

Run by Ann Thomas,(above) an activist, and second-generation transgender person who has worked on HLN series’ Transgender in America, the division is an expansion of its medical education division which educates and advises UCLA medical students on transgender patient care.

 

Zion Moreno

 Zion Moreno made a name for herself as a transgender model and then switched to acting, appearing in 

Netflix's "Control Z."

In 2020, it was announced that Moreno would join the cast of the reboot of "Gossip Girl" on HBO Max. In the first episode — which premiered this summer — Moreno's character Luna is one of the rich kids with a bad attitude. 

"Gossip Girl's" executive producer Joshua Safran told Variety that Luna is transgender in the series. 

Vintage Drag

 I watch quite a few vintage movies on the Turner Classic Movie television network. Along the way I have discovered several "William Powell" classic movies. Especially the "Thin Man" series.

Yesterday I discovered a movie called "Love Crazy" in which Powell dons drag and impersonates a woman.  It's from 1941. Here is a picture.

That's all Good...But...

 Perhaps, by now you have heard the good news "Mj. Rodriquez" (left) transgender lead in the Pose television series was nominated for an Emmy. This of course is a first for a transgender actor or actress. 

However, the trans entertainment news is not all good. 

This is from EW.com:

"The LGBTQ media organization acknowledges the past year resulted in a unique situation for theatrical movies, but it still went ahead with its 2020 Studio Responsibility Index, their report card for sorts on how well Hollywood's major studios brought LGBTQ representation to the screen. GLAAD found that, out of the 44 films released by those entities, none of them included trans or non-binary characters.

In fact, this is the fourth year in a row where this has happened. By GLAAD's own estimates, that's zero trans characters out of almost 400 films since January 2017. The last time a transgender character was included in a major studio film — Disney, Warner Bros., Universal, Paramount, etc. — it was an "offensive caricature," as GLAAD dubbed it: Benedict Cumberbatch's All in 2016's Zoolander 2."

Thanks Bobbie for sending this along!

Daniela Vega

 From "GayTimes"

"Daniela Vega received critical acclaim for her performance in A Fantastic Woman as young trans woman Marina, a singer and waitress in Santiago whose older boyfriend dies unexpectedly. With its win for Best Foreign Language Film, A Fantastic Woman made history as the first Academy Award-winning film to feature a transgender storyline with an openly transgender actor in the lead role. In 2018, Vega also became the first transgender person to present at the prestigious ceremony. In an interview with The Guardian, Vega said of the relationship between the transgender community and the Republican Party (trust us when we say, it’s a finger-wagging moment): “It actually gives me a physical pleasure to annoy conservatives. I don’t have to be violent, I don’t have to insult anyone – my mere existence shakes those people up.”

Remembering a Trans Icon

 From "Today":

"Now, viewers can binge “Pose,” “Supergirl,” “Euphoria” or even “Star Trek: Discovery,” but when Candis Cayne sashayed onto the screen on ABC’s nighttime drama “Dirty Sexy Money” in 2007, she became the first openly transgender actor with a recurring role on a network television series.

On the show, she played the vixenous Carmelita Rainer, who was having an affair with handsome New York state attorney general Patrick Darling (Billy Baldwin), who was itching to get out from under the thumb of his billionaire father (Donald Sutherland).

“Dirty Sexy Money” only lasted one season but it broke ground in a number of ways: Cayne was a transgender woman playing a transgender character. And Carmelita wasn’t the butt of the joke — she was beautiful, and as deliciously devious as her co-stars."

For more, go here: 

Transgender Actress and Model

 Jamie Clayton  is a well known transgender actress and model:

Go here for more on her career.

Turkish Delight

 

Cagla Akalin is a Turkish actress, model, columnist, singer, and human rights activist..

In 2013, she became the first trans beauty pageant title holder at the Miss Queen competition for transgender women in Turkey. She is also Turkey's first transgender model.

Patti Harrison

 

From the "Advocate" :

" In the new comedic film Together Together, Harrison portrays Anna, a character attempting to become the surrogate mother for a single man, Matt (Ed Helms). It's the kind of role that she, as a transgender actress, would love to be cast in more often. And she hopes her hilarious, heartfelt performance sends a message to Hollywood."

"Harrison has appeared in a variety of productions, from A Simple Favor to Shrill to voice acting in Big Mouth and Disney's Raya and the Last Dragon. However, Harrison is dismayed by the scripts that usually cross her desk, which tend to be some variation of a "down-on-her-luck trans sex worker" who overcomes the trauma of family rejection to become a "brave 'yas queen' girl boss."

"When people only see you as [your marginalized identity], you're not getting the same opportunities" as other actors, Harrison noted."

Supergirl's Next Gig?

Being the somewhat paranoiac person  I am, often I wonder if I was in the acting business, would I be forever wondering where my next job would be coming from. I wonder also if transgender actress Nicole Maines can land another starring role after her current gig as "Supergirl" comes to a close.

Then again too, there have been other transgender actors such as Jesse James Keitel who has expanded the traditional trans binary narrative past the more simplistic transgender woman and man into referring to herself as a transfeminine person with the "she/her-they/them" pronouns.  She is currently starring  on the ABC television series Big Sky" (below).

At the least, hopefully these groundbreaking trans actresses will help pave the way for the next generation of transgender acting talent who are simply known for their skills.