The Sugar Daddy and the Endocrinologist

My trip to the endocrinologist was certainly uneventful, until I met my sugar daddy afterwards. My Doc was OK with my request to increase my estrodial and perhaps decrease my testosterone. As we talked, I said I was satisfied where I was with my feminization process but then again feel like I hit a wall. So, her (the Doc's) answer was maybe my testosterone was creeping up again and let's get it checked. So, off I went to get the proper blood labs done.

I knew my day was going too good when the 75 mile trip up to the medical center was very easy for a change, I found a parking spot and the wait was minimal. By this time, it was past noon and I hoped the wait at the blood labs would be minimal too...wrong, the room was packed, standing room only almost for a seat. I settled in to lose an hour of my life I would never get back.

As I sat there, a short time later, an older gentleman, well dressed with a straw hat sat down across the room. I didn't give him much thought except you don't see many guys at the VA who bother to dress up at all.

Approximately fifteen minutes later, he got up to go to the restroom and lost his seat. He then ended up sitting across from me. He was busily talking to a couple of other guys about the March Madness basketball games and was leaving me alone, for awhile. Then he said "Mam" what branch of the service did I serve in? I told him the Army and the chat was on. I found out he served in the Army in the mid 60's in Panama, was 75, retired but still flipped houses for a living.

By that time, he had decided to quit talking to the other guys and turn his attention to me and all the time used the proper pronouns so I felt secure in the conversation.  I had to be careful though not to out myself.

If I mentioned at all I was drafted, that would do it. Of course women weren't drafted into the service. On the fly I needed to make up a story about how I got into the military, or slightly twist the facts. Or shut up. I chose the latter but on the way home came up with a more palatable way of explaining what I did in the military.

To start with, some of you Cyrsti's Condo regulars know, I was assigned to the American Forces Radio and Television Service (AFRTS). So, I actually worked for the Air Force for one year and the Army for two years. So, I could say I was almost a contract worker for the military. At least it may work in a pinch when I get into an in depth conversation with someone who I don't want to automatically out myself with.

I must be getting dramatically better with my over all transgender presentation though. This makes the second time in a row men have called me by the right pronouns and wanted to talk while I was waiting to give blood. Years ago, I was called a "fagg--t" in the same room.

Times do change, and if my blood comes back the right way, maybe I can change it a little bit faster.

Ashamed to be Transgender?

Yesterday, I happened to come across a blog post called "I am Not Ashamed to be Transgender" on a very extensive web site called "T-Central". By extensive, I mean the site is a compilation of many transgender - cross dressing blogs. You can follow the link above to check it out.

The post I am mentioning here is from a mother with a trans child. Here is a brief excerpt:

 "When I asked my son (who is transgender) what kind of impact our support had, he looked me straight in the eye (which teenagers generally don’t do) and said, “I don’t feel ashamed of who I am.” Several years later and I can still feel the power behind that statement that he uttered with such conviction, not a moment’s hesitation."

I thought "Wow", how great it would have been to tell my Mom that when I was a teen-ager and for her to accept it, or at least think about it. You see, I didn't have one of those mothers who subconsciously would let me be a girl in any way shape or form. Ironically, I did come out to her when I got out of the Army when I was twenty five. I told her about the same thing, I was not going to feel ashamed of myself anymore. Which wasn't true and I wish it was.

The fact of the matter was, my Mom slammed the closet door in my face that night so long ago (1975) and we never mentioned it again. She passed away several years later.

I really admire the younger generation of transgender children who have the conviction to stand up for who they are and possibly respect even more the parents who accept them. 

FYI...I have forgiven my Mom and even legally changed my middle name to her first name. It turned out, she did get the daughter she never had and in so many ways we turned out so much alike.

Giving Transgender a Voice

Well, another Transgender Day of Visibility as come and gone. As I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, my partner Liz and I helped "person" a table at our local event.

The whole day went well (except for an exceedingly long walk to get to the venue) and one person who commandeered the stage to tell us all, the transgender movement was a four letter word which rhymes with "duck".

Other than the sour bitch, the rest of the speakers were basically centered around the younger transgender and/or questioning  crowd. Of which, there were plenty, which numbered around two hundred and of course was very enthusiastic.

There were also eight to ten other tables (besides ours) who were giving out information. Almost immediately, one in particular caught my attention. It was a table full of information concerning voice therapy from the University of Cincinnati Health Center. I stopped and asked tentatively for some of the information. The person at the table asked what I was interested in and I said, anything I could find on voice therapy through the Veterans Administration.

I was fully expecting a blank look, instead she lit up like a light bulb and asked which VA I went to. Even more important, when I said Dayton, Ohio (not Cincinnati), she said they were starting a pilot program very soon in Dayton. Plus, they were very interested in working with transgender patients. I couldn't believe my good fortune as I have all the contact information.

Very quickly I knew the day couldn't get much better! As soon as I can press Liz into posting it, there may be a picture for the blog.

Off the Road Again

Two days this week (as I have previously written about here in Cyrsti's Condo), I found myself at yet another cross dresser- transgender support meeting and a visit with my therapist.   This week at the bi monthly meeting, we had a new attendee, a high school aged trans guy and his mother.

All went well, with plenty of feedback from both ends until one of the cross dressers opens his mouth and blurts out (again), he has to be a cross dresser because he likes women. Every time he says it, I correct him by saying his ultimatum does mean anything because I am transgender and like women too. I then went on to explain to the Mom, the difference between gender and sexuality. And how both operate on the LGBT continuum. Besides, I have met cross dressers who like men.

For everybody, I kept my speaking to a minimum on the subject. It's just that I get so sick and tired of him bringing it up and I think he might just be protesting too much!

At the meeting also, I was invited to join in at an outreach day for transgender veterans at the Cincinnati VA hospital campus. As a point of clarification, I go to the Dayton, Ohio center, so it will be interesting to see how it all works out. As it stands now, we have three trans vets involved in our group, plus another moving here from Tennessee soon.

As far as meeting with my therapist went, we didn't spend much time talking about me, since I was asking questions I needed to know about an upcoming interview I'm doing for our group's monthly newsletter. It should be interesting since another trans woman vet is joining in for her views too. We both go to separate hospitals for our care, it will be interesting to see the differences. She is the one whose hormones became so out of whack, her blood tests showed her to be pregnant. So, she has a lot to say! 

"Trans Trippin Bout 'Nuttin"

As previously mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo, I spent most of my day yesterday traveling the one hundred mile trip to attend one of my transgender veteran support group.

I wore dark gray leggings which closely matched my charcoal boots with my new dark forest green fuzzy sweater with the lace inserts. I paired it all with a pair of rose gold hoop earrings and one of the hand knitted beige scarves which Liz made for me...plus my black leather hip length jacket. I was trying to remember to get a selfie, but yesterday was so screwed I forgot.

As far as the sparsely attended meeting went, I ended up speaking about a specialty wig shop in Dayton, Ohio and my theory about the different levels of MtF gender transition. Nothing too exciting.

I ended up packing some items I need to sell from my warehouse I am closing in Springfield (Ohio) and a load of trash. So, the day was overall less than a glamorous excursion.

Such is life as a full-time transgender woman.

Thanks to All!

This morning I went shopping for a new top or two, to make good use of my daughter's gift of a birthday gift card.

I ended up picking out a forest green hip length sweater top with lace inserts across the shoulders and down the arms. I then added a pair of rose gold hoop earrings to finish my mini buying spree, which was completed as we had to take both cars to the garage to get fixed, too.

Throughout the morning (including a stop at another store) I was never mis-gendered. In fact, when I went to the dressing room to try on the top, the lady in charge took me straight to the woman'a dressing rooms.

Plus, at the auto repair shop we go to, Liz and I were referred to as "ladies" several times.

I suppose it helped I finally colored my hair again and replaced the predominant gray theme with a dark auburn one.

If I do it correctly, my hair is so soft I can't hardly believe it. I think I am finally getting it through my thick noggin (and hair) how to rinse all the color rinse out of my hair and use the proper amount of conditioner and make sure it is properly rinsed also.

At the least, it all gives me the extra confidence to face the world as a transgender woman.

While we are on the subject of confidence, thanks to all of you loyal followers here in Cyrsti's Condo, Twitter and through Facebook! It's all appreciated.:)

We Go International

One of the amazing things to me about the"world wide web" is how global it is. I suppose I'm not alone in my generation.

Our Cyrsti's Condo post concerning my politics getting me blocked by an irate "trans" woman on FB. My point simply was, I didn't understand how any transgender person can support an administration who does it best to deny the trans community any rights. In fact, doing it's best to take them away. Somehow, questioning her "transness" came into play and we were done.

I also lamented the current highly charged political atmosphere stopping any political "discussions."

It turns out, the case is the same in Australia, from Jeni:
" Jeni SkunkNovember 24, 2017 at 6:12 PM

You are most definitely NOT alone in being unable to support an anti-LGBT political leader.

With number 45 though, the situation is far more awkward.
Number 45 is not Religiously rabidly anti-LGBT.
But its follow-up replacements are.
Pence and Ryan.
So the problem is how to keep number 45 in, to keep Pence and Ryan out, whilst minimising the damage actively being caused by number 45.

In their Religious zealotry, Pence and Ryan would trample anti-discrimination into oblivion, and happily turn the USA into a theocratic state.
Short of an absolute dictatorship, the worst of all worlds.

And don't assume that here where I am is much better.
Australian anti-discrimination law, at all levels of Govt, is littered Religious Exemptions applying, so the Religions do not have to comply with anything that goes in opposition to their Beliefs or Faith.
This includes employing women, sacking LGBT, refusing services, ect.
Basically those exemptions form a nicely detailed "How say F__K YOU to the Law, and Actively Discriminate, AND Get Away With It".

And from the U.K. and Paula:
"Paula GoodwinNovember 25, 2017 at 8:33 AM

To me being called a leftist is a compliment!

I am concerned that over here in the UK we seem to be developing the same problem you have with an ever widening divide in politics. It feels impossible to have a rational political discussion with somebody with a different stand point and remain friends, very sad!"

Thanks again Ladies, finally I wanted to point out this person who blocked me was only an acquaintance. I have a dear friend who balances my political views with her own and we manage to coexist! 

HorrorScope

Do the stars move this fast or is it just me? Seems like yesterday when I posted the last HorrorScope here in Cyrsti's Condo! Regardless here is the latest:

"Libra (September 23 – October 22) Mistakes that you make now are your fault and if you waste even another second trying to blame anyone else, another egg will fly into your face. Being hopeful is great and being a genius is gift, but if you don't take that potential and use it towards being responsible in your own individual way, then you may just end up a statistic. Don't just stand up, stand out.
 Astro Guide 2013: Libra"

Whoa! A mistake that is my fault? Can't be!...just kidding.

On the serious side, I think I am moving quickly through the standing up category into the standing out part.  Hopefully in a positive way for the transgender community.

My disclaimer is "HorrorScope" is my title and you can go to theFrisky to get "scoped". It won't hurt!

Just When You Thought

Well maybe you didn't think but I thought I was getting too serious about my transgender life....soooo why not pass along a little fun on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen: