Tonight

Coming up tonight is another cross dresser - transgender support group meeting...with it's usual implications.

Several of the real negative types quit attending, including the one who was diagnosed with having an underdeveloped uterus and/or ovaries. She has rightfully declared herself as inter-sexed and I guess has developed  a perch to look down upon the rest of us. It's kind of sad, since I enjoyed hearing of her journey. She was just so negative.

Also the conservative rump supporters have quit coming , even though the moderators steer the conversation away from politics,  There are a few of the fetish satin types still around, as well as the steampunk trans woman.

We will also see if the desperately lonely suicidal transgender woman shows up tonight. The other suicide person just got a job (as herself) and seems to be sorting her life out, so all is better with her.

The group also used to have a few other trans vets too, but one moved to Oregon, one I haven't seen and the other is the negative inter-sexed person I wrote about earlier in the post.

So, all in all, it's a very interesting group.

Rest in Peace

Last week, we lost two celebrities to suicide. Kate Spade of the hand bag fame and famous chef Anthony Bourdain. I was never in the financial position to purchase a "Kate Spade" bag, but, especially after my career in the restaurant business, I loved Bourdain. To the point of reading one of his books.

Kate Spade

Needless to say, I was in shock, then again not so much.

Anthony Bourdain

I have my own suicidal demons which are addressed with my therapist when they get too loud. Sufficient to say, my demons will be brought up this Tuesday during my next therapist visit. I am betting I will have to bring up the fact I am entranced not so much of the whys of their suicides (which I understand) but of the hows. The problem is I have learned to cover for my demons over the years.

Some even assume since I have been able to Mtf gender transition, it is all I live for.

Naturally, suicide is a very personal and complex issue and it is easier for me to write about it than speak to anyone about it. Plus, I know I have almost instantaneous access to various suicide hotlines. Including a Trans Vet Hot Line.

Also, in a sense, I suffer from going through three very personal suicides when I was younger, so I know the cost involved to the ones you leave behind. The guilt just builds.

Finally, thanks to all for reading my vent. I am OK and it means a lot I can write about something this personal.

Off the Road Again

Two days this week (as I have previously written about here in Cyrsti's Condo), I found myself at yet another cross dresser- transgender support meeting and a visit with my therapist.   This week at the bi monthly meeting, we had a new attendee, a high school aged trans guy and his mother.

All went well, with plenty of feedback from both ends until one of the cross dressers opens his mouth and blurts out (again), he has to be a cross dresser because he likes women. Every time he says it, I correct him by saying his ultimatum does mean anything because I am transgender and like women too. I then went on to explain to the Mom, the difference between gender and sexuality. And how both operate on the LGBT continuum. Besides, I have met cross dressers who like men.

For everybody, I kept my speaking to a minimum on the subject. It's just that I get so sick and tired of him bringing it up and I think he might just be protesting too much!

At the meeting also, I was invited to join in at an outreach day for transgender veterans at the Cincinnati VA hospital campus. As a point of clarification, I go to the Dayton, Ohio center, so it will be interesting to see how it all works out. As it stands now, we have three trans vets involved in our group, plus another moving here from Tennessee soon.

As far as meeting with my therapist went, we didn't spend much time talking about me, since I was asking questions I needed to know about an upcoming interview I'm doing for our group's monthly newsletter. It should be interesting since another trans woman vet is joining in for her views too. We both go to separate hospitals for our care, it will be interesting to see the differences. She is the one whose hormones became so out of whack, her blood tests showed her to be pregnant. So, she has a lot to say! 

If Ya' Gotta" Go

Unfortunately, one of the most devastating facets of being being transgender includes being able to use the bathroom of your choice.

So much so, I was surprised to hear one of the new participants (a cis woman) ask about it during our last trans vet support meeting. I said it definitely was a factor to me, as I have used (of course) women's bathrooms for years now. Along the way I have been treated very rudely, although many years ago. Even to the point of having the police called on me and being called a pervert.

Another trans woman in the group talked about the extreme measures she takes if she doesn't know for sure there will be safe bathrooms to use where she is going. For example, not drinking a lot of fluids. She also said she knows where every gender neutral bathroom is in the VA hospital (Veterans Administration) although supposedly, we can use any bathroom we want.

I have always said, I find the whole situation to be over blown because many women's bathrooms aren't the "pristine" palaces one was led to believe they would be. Be careful of where you sit to pee!

I have always found it to be the best policy not to take your time. Do your business, wash your hands, check your make up and move on. Back in the day I used to even carry a tampon with me, in case some women was questioning my girl card. These days I don't because rarely does anyone question my "age" card!

Plus, I have female marked on my drivers license and veteran's administration identification card. Should anyone ask.

Like I said, it has been years since anyone has. I even made it through the rest stop on the Alabama/Mississippi state line.

Enough said!

Busy Week

First of all, it's hard to believe March is here this week and I have so much to do!

Tonight is the bi-monthly meeting (no pun intended) of the Cincinnati Crossport  group which is a loosely tied together group of transgender and cross dressing peeps. I will be interested to see if the snarky cross dressers wife returns. If I get attacked, I will know she reads the blog :).

Tuesday is one of my VA doctors appointments up in Dayton which is quite the round trip and takes me most of the day.

Wednesday is a get together to do signage for Thursdays' protest march at Cincinnati's City Hall. Protesting of course "45's" (Trump's) edit to do away with transgender children's restroom protections. A slam at the most innocent sector of the transgender community, who of course do not have a vote.

Thursday is the protest itself which by all estimates should be well attended.

Friday I get my hearing checked...huh? Perhaps I can explain why I don't hear them when they call me "Mr."?

Saturday if we can fit it in is a meeting of one of the "creative" groups we go to. It's an eclectic group of artists, writers etc,

Then of course I have to work in time to write about it all!

And all this time I thought retirement was a time for rest?

Hostility Too

Recently, I had the rare distinction of being bluntly mis-pronouned twice in one day.

The first was at one of my Veterans Administration appointments when the nurse called me "Mr." I simply told her to "can the Mr. and we would be OK" and she profusely apologized.

The second was not so easy.

For the first time recently I attended a transgender/crossdresser support group here in Cincinnati. Most of the group was attended by younger delightful transgender couples with a trans man mixed in and a couple cross dressers-one with his wife.

She was trying hard to be understanding and supportive but as a self professed ultra conservative person she was struggling. First of all, she was what I call a "sandpaper person", or a person who just rubs on people the wrong way. (Me at least.)

At one point, she made a point of going around the table telling everyone she knew their birth gender. I was good and didn't say I wasn't sure about her's. Which I wasn't at the beginning.

Then later, cross dresser "hubby" called me "him" and I about went ballistic. You would have thought HE would have been the last person in the room to call me him. Perhaps he won't from now on.

I suppose I should have more patience, but I just don't and normally give someone the benefit of the doubt unless HE is wearing a little black dress 4 inch heels and full makeup to a weekday meeting at a church.

Hell, I am calm...can't you tell? :)

Timing is Everything

Or lack of it.

I wrote a week or so ago about my new glasses I am awaiting. The glasses could come any day now-or any week now for the next couple.

The reason I am extra anxious to see them (no pun intended) is to try them with my new hair color. Having written that, my new color is just an updated version of my old color (without the gray) the color itself is a very dark auburn. I still plan on trying to update a couple of pictures with the "new look".

All of this really needs to happen by the end of the month when Liz and I are going to an artists show we were invited to and a "Writer in Residence" program I would like to attend at the Cincinnati Public Library.

For both occasions I have updated my business cards to plug my book "Stiletto's on Thin Ice."

I even have a new dress I have been saving back for the artist's show and Valentines Day I haven't worn yet.

Tomorrow is another trip to my Trans veteran therapist which usually is always interesting when a get to meet in person the receptionists who insist on mis-gendering me on the phone. You would thing after all this time they would get it right.

The folks who did get it right this weekend were my daughter's family and in laws who have always accepted me with open arms.

So all in all life is rolling by!

Busy,Busy,Busy

Unfortunately, I don't mean shopping busy and my parties with cross dressing friends have long since been a part of my past. Nothing negative, I just don't seem to fit anymore.

What isn't in the past is a seeming frenetic attempt by the VA to catch up all my activity with them by the end of the year.

This morning I went for an updated eye exam and found all was well and I even have another set of glasses coming which is good. Once I got to the clinic this morning my trans-dar was going crazy as I briefly got a chance to take a look at a woman I perceived to be transgender in the waiting room. I could have been wrong though when they answered to the name of Tom. (with make-up)

Also, I finally arm wrestled my way into moving my mammogram into January. Seemingly, once the consult was called in under "urgent" the VA was making sure it was. I suppose it's because my maternal grandmother passed from breast cancer in the 1950's, my age (67) and the fact I have passed the 3 year mark on HRT. Mammograms are very important I know and in fact have never been more than a minor inconvenience to me. So I guess I'm being a huge whiner.

Plus I do have an appointment with my therapist next Thursday and just attended the transgender veteran support group in Dayton, Ohio yesterday.

Finally, in a move perhaps designed to cut back on Christmas bonuses, Liz's company has scheduled their Holiday party for the middle of January. Again it will not be a big deal outfit wise as most of her office staff dresses very casual and the venue is in a combo huge sports bar/arcade. One way or another it should be fun!

I think that is it until tomorrow. But on the positive side, Liz does have a ton of time off coming, so we can enjoy the Holidays also!  

Spring Into Spring?

Looking head on (no pun intended) on my newest hair color adventure. For once, my timing is fairly decent as the never ending gray color is beginning to slip through.

Trans Vet Pride

I'm considering going with a lighter red color this time around which will give me more options to stay ligher, go dark again or back to the vibrant "violet" which was such a hit last fall. Decisions, decisions,decisions. One thing for sure is I will have to color it again sometime around Memorial Day for my invite to the Veterans Picnic at the VA in Dayton and Trans Ohio Symposium. 

As I look back on it, maybe my violet hair was a bit of a clue that I may be wild enough to take on the "Frank N Furter character from Rocky Horror Show. (How about 'selfies' with Frankie') to make some money for charity?

TransOhio 2015

Also, before I forget again, thanks to all of you who bought my book. All of the sudden I began to get bi-weekly reports from the publishing platform I am on and at one point Stilettos on Thin Ice was in the top 35% of all Kindle/Amazon non fiction books. (Can't make any of that up.) Now I have to get up off my arse and get #2 done!

As Promised!

VA

We all have ID's and increasingly so as Big Brother or Sister continues to look over our shoulders, and the way the world is becoming these days, it may not be all in all a bad deal. Plus, looking ahead, as the world continues to be increasingly interconnected, bar coded identification cards are the rule. At least here in Ohio, your drivers license is coded in so when and if you get pulled over by a cop, they get a head start. Also, now when I go to the Veteran's Administration, I need to scan my ID card at a kiosk, which is why it was a such a huge deal to get my name and gender changed over.

Who Dat?

I told you all I would show you (the best I could) all my non pertinent info on my new ID's  and for a little fun, I thought I would toss in the "before" picture of me which has been "hidden" on the blog for a while!

Sorry about the "camouflage" but you get the idea of why I repeated first grade so many times!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another cold Sunday edition is hitting your front porch. Around here in Cincinnati, we are at a balmy (yet sunny) thirteen degrees. Lets get a hot cup o joe (coffee) or cocoa (with marsh mellows) and get started.

Page One - The Week that Was or Wasn't: Saturday (yesterday) was one of those days when life's transgender changes seem to pile up. In chronological order, yesterday morning, I went and did the final work to get my Ohio drivers' license with the magical "F" under gender. I wrote yesterday about 50 years between Major license changes. What I meant Fiona was I got my original license when I was 16 and now I am 66. I got to thinking, does a half a decade sound better? Pretty intimidating to me-either way! Then, I didn't have much time to reflect upon the moment, as we Liz and I had to head up to Kettering, Ohio for my oldest Grandson's Bar Miftzfah. Being a grandparent, I had to do my duty and step up and in for what seemed like a million pictures with the family. I could only think that years later, future generations would look at the picture and see very (very likely) the immediate family's first transgender member. Although-my first wife (and mother of my daughter) has a trans man nephew. Indeed it is a small world.

Page Two- Yesterdays' Coffee - Opinion: As I rejoiced in the success of changing over my State of Ohio ID (driver's license), a trans girl friend of mine reminded me how difficult it is to do it. From Racquel: 
" Kick ass. Appeasing the Ohio BMV is no small feat. It took me over an hour on the phone just to get them to figure out which form to send me. Then you gotta get a shrink to certify you as trans enough. I can't help being proud from a "rite of passage" standpoint. But needing to beg for the permission of so many gatekeepers — having to satisfy doctors, therapists, the BMV, the State Dept, probate court, vital statistics, and the Social Security administration — is total BS."

Thanks Racquel! You see, she is much younger than me and I forget many don't have the benefit of a free therapist like I had being a trans vet. So, indeed my therapist had to approve my transness to enable me to start HRT. 

"BS" to be sure and my problem these days too is "treating" transgender youth (to prove their 'transness' has become a business of sorts. 

Page Three - The Back Page - Back to the Future?: Last night I literally had to stand up and do a "special reading"my Grandson chose for me in front of approximately 125 people. So, for the rest of the evening, it was tough to hide- if I wanted to. Plus, I saw more than a couple peeps I knew through my daughter from my male past. The top moment I suppose, was a rest room visit of all places. Liz and I were going to pee before the trip home and all of the sudden, it was "old home day." Seemingly, two or three women showed up from nowhere to have a bathroom chat-mostly about how much weight I have lost and how long my hair was from the last time they had seen me. At that moment, I knew the world had come full circle - at least for now.

Page Four- The Back Beat: As always, thanks soooooo much for stopping by the Condo. Hopefully, you are in a spot out of the snow and/or cold!

Research Day

The problem I have now with all my pending gender marker changes is that I'm trying too hard to connect invisible dots which aren't really there.

Example? The paper work to change my name and gender with my veterans administration care. In many ways it is the most important for me simply because I interact one on one with more people - right now. As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo before, I won't have to guess which name the staff is going to use with me-or the right pronoun. The fine print says complete forms and send to the "Privacy Officer". That's cool, but which one? My home provider hospital in Dayton, or a higher up? At any rate, I am going to call later today too see if I can get an answer. The VA tops my list of changes to make first, or at the least get started so I can "hurry up and wait."

After that, I have a little bit more of a different agenda than some of my other younger transgender sisters. Since I am already retired, I don't have to make a social security change a priority yet because I don't need it to apply for jobs.

On the flip side of the coin (no pun intended) I have to be careful with my Social Security name change "syncing up" with my bank for electronic deposits. Plus, how about those pesky loan payments still in my male name? Shouldn't matter if the loan number still remains the same. See, all of those questions are great to keep me company at 4:30 in the morning.

Plus I have not forgotten to factor in my legal name change which will be needed and a new driver's license.

All of this is proving to me I was right in my noggin...this could be very as complex as other parts of my transition - up to and including HRT. (Which is another story right now.)

A Day in the Life

Yesterday was one of those days you spend years sort of planning for- and hours thinking about as they approach. When I look back at literally all the time I wondered if I could and wonder how it would be to go "full time" and live as an "out" transgender woman. 

Liz was off and had a doctors mammogram appointment. I went along and benefited from what I call a "contact estrogen buzz" in the office from all the other women in the waiting room. From what Liz said it's a much more of a factory like demeaning process in the bigger hospital she goes to. I had mine in a much smaller one.

From there we came back briefly to have a little lunch before we drove the 70 miles or so up to Dayton to my daughters house. I made plans to not have to change clothes much if not at all during the day until Liz gave me a wonderful pair of black jeans she had found for me, so what was a trans girl to do? Easy answer? Wear them to a lesbian get together we were going to last night up in Dayton. The evening was significant in that it was the first time I had seen my "old friends" Nikki and Kim and I was going into an alcohol based venue since my drinking ban was instituted.

So, ideally, the outfit I was wearing had to have a little "pizzazz"  to it-without looking like I was trying too hard. 

On the positive side, my daughter wasn't going to be home (in Hawaii) but her Mother in Law was going to meet with with my VA meds I was coming by for. She has met me in social situations a couple times but we have never really have had a chance to sit and talk very much one on two with Liz and I. She did well and cut the miss-pronouning almost totally out. Of course the grand kids were the grandkids. One had band practice, one was fooling with some sort of computer part and the youngest? Well, no one really knows.

From there it was off on another 20 miles to meet the group. The whole time the clique "You don't need alcohol to have fun." was echoing in my noggin. Well obviously I didn't but much of my past was built around a party. Plus all the other tangents which were involved with drinking while trans. Which could fill another post.

I have to tell you, I loved seeing Kim and Nikki and was accepted by the group-but no booze did affect me. But obviously I will get over it and found Ginger Ale with a lime was OK.

As it turned out, we still weren't done and had to drive another 20 miles east to Springfield to pick up things and check my old house before coming back to Cincinnati.

By the end of all of that, my goal was achieved to put together an outfit which could be comfortable plus be "up scaled" a bit with make up. 

The whole day was exactly how I imagined it so many years ago. I was never sure though, if I could have ever imagined doing it.

Life As We Know it Now.

I was thinking it has been awhile since I have tried to update 'Y'all' about what's going on with me. Actually not much. But, if you missed it, I did actually stop my estrogen patches on Sunday. Since that time (For whatever reason) I have managed to cry about everything it seemed. Not sure it means anything yet. 

Health wise, I am feeling better, but won't know any real news until later next week when I go to my endocrinologist. I have found I can go on the VA on line health site for my records then compare them with the diagnosis with on line medical text books-and they matched. The diagnosis was doing phlebotomies  - or as one Doctor said "Change out my oil." As of now, I am into the second of a possible six appointments. 

Now, on we go into why we are here. What's happening with that pesky transgender deal you have going on Cyrtsi? It's been tough to describe but I feel internally I have gone stealth. I am just me. Externally, some days my passing privilege seems to working and life is a bit easier than others. On those other days (like anyone else) I want to strangle many of the rude ignorant peeps I run into.

Other than that, by FAR, Fall is my fave season of the year and it is beginning nicely. Sunny days and highs near 80. 

In my case lately, slower is better and my goal is to adjust to it!

Just the Transgender Facts Mam

Darla Lannert served two tours of duty in Vietnam as Rick Lannert. “Trust me, I never chose this. People don’t choose to be humiliated, have their life threatened, lose their family and friends,” she says.

As you all probably know, I am a trans vet-a draft induced Vietnam Era vintage one. Yesterday, I saw these figures which I found interesting and of course wanted to pass along to all of you.

These come from the Wisconsin Journal Sentinel:   

1. 12,800-the estimate of active duty trans military members.
2. Transgender people are twice as likely to serve in the military as the general population.
3. According to an UCLA Study, an estimated one in five transgender women or men are trans.
4. Read more here!

What's in a Age?

Perhaps you Cyrsti's Condo regulars have noticed I have been thinking a bit too much about age recently. Some of it has to do with my first real serious illness of my life, turning 66 and my speaking engagement Friday night.

knowing for sure (I'm sure the organizers don't either)-I'm guessing the group will be a relatively youthful LGBTQ blend. With a liberal mix of "allies."

Fortunately for them, they have not allotted any of us much time to be "talking heads" and bore everyone to sleep. On the other hand, my challenge is to make my time more clear and impactful.

My game plan is pretty clear. If nothing else, I am a gender survivor. The younger members of the group will most certainly be able to see that. So, a quick mention should do and lets keep moving. I identify "she and her" as a MtF transgender woman who happens to be a trans vet.

My next priority will be to keep them engaged past the first few minutes - when many speakers dissolve into "white noise". In other words, how much of what I am saying means anything to them.  That's tough because I think the allies and parents in the group may be more apt to listen-longer.

Finally, the organization hosting the evening : Love Must Win pretty much sums up my part of the evening with it's name. For no particular divine reason I have been "allowed" to hang around in this world to see too many amazing changes to even count-including those attached to human gender. 

The toughest thing to tell anyone (for me) is to be patient. A HUGE cop out. On the other hand, the only constant is change. Plus, the platforms for positive LGBTQ change continue to progress. (Ask Kim Davis.)

We all need to embrace our trans youth with love. I just hope I can help a bit Friday!!!!

Shock and Awe!

Yesterday was one of those days which I knew was going to be long, but not so sure how long. 

First of all, the weather was tremendous and an ideal time to have yet another sidewalk sale at my old house in Springfield which I am continuing to clean out from literally 20 years or more of "collecting." I don't sell much but every little bit helps me to "get by" and augment my very meager Social Security. It's better than carrying a sign and standing on a corner asking for change. Can ya spare a dime brother for a poor trans vet? But...I didn't have to because...

I was successful in "moving a couple pieces" out as I grow ever closer to putting the place up for sale and went back to Sis-in-Law's to pack up and drive the hundred miles or so to Liz's. Decided to wear my best "Boho-Hippie" outfit".  A long flowing multi colored purple skirt, tank top and flip flops. It fits right in as, on the way to Liz's I go through Yellow Springs, Ohio which was (and is) a hot bed of hippie/liberal activity and  a place I have felt immensely connected to. I was dressing to blend in my mind for the past and present!

Let's "back track" a bit and mention too, the "mousse was loose" yesterday- as Liz and I call it. In my hair from when I washed it Thursday. I love to just shampoo, condition and mousse my already very wavy hair and basically just let it go. So, I went with the "460 Air Conditioning" in my Rolls Royce (4 windows down at 60 miles an hour) and headed for Cincinnati. I always love going through "The Springs" imagining I could go back and re-live just a few of those years I so admired the hippie girls with their long wavy hair. When I had my Army 'high and tight'.

Of course I can't so the closest I can come is to let my "freak flags fly"; turn up one of the Woodstock CD's I just found in my house and head on down the road. What could be any better?

I am sure my old dog in the back seat was thinking "here we go again!" And go we did-once I got to Liz's as "Shock and Awe" continues!!!

Too Damn Much - Too Damn Soon?

It's late, so I am going to write this before eating a late night salad and going to bed.

The big happenings today-before I forget (and I will) was the other transgender woman veteran Liz saw at the VA hospital today, and the LGBT Equality sticker I saw at the receptionist's window (Wow!)as I was setting up an appointment to start the gender marker process.

I was amused at how many times she did her best not to mis-pronoun me in the process AND act like she wasn't.'

And finally, going to Liz's Knitting Group tonight at a Panera's. No, I didn't knit-but I wrote.

More on all of this later!!!  

A Break Through?

Here in Cyrsti's Condo I have written about the difficulty my former Sister in Law (from my deceased wife) has had understanding my transgender status. It's not surprising in many ways because I wonder if she understands why the sun comes up in the morning. 

For some reason, today we were discussing my day yesterday. The topic bounced from yet another trip to the VA hospital, a stop by my daughter's and meeting up last night for adult beverages with one of my long time girl friends - all the way to gender markers. (For all you new visitors here to the Condo, I am a US Army trans vet and the VA is the Veteran's Administration where I get my heath care.)

For once I was patient with her and forgot about the fact she is actually 55 and not the mental age of my grandkids. I started with a slow explanation of what gender markers are, what they do and how difficult they are to change. Amazingly, she was following along. Until tomorrow when she has forgotten half of what I told her. 

I did stir the subject up a bit by explaining how natural it was yesterday to live my life in all those various spots as me. No looks or stares from the world. In fact the only hell I caught was from the VA nurse who seemingly is stuck with taking my blood lately. She rode me hard and put me away wet for still not changing my VA gender marker. Of course she is right and this time after I go through these tests to see what is wrong with me-I will get the process rolling. Enough already with the procrastination.

I have all the info stashed away on how to do the gender marker work. I do know I will need documentation from a psychiatrist/therapist type peep. So, I hope my original "shrink" at the VA who approved me for HRT is still there. We got along so well. If not, it will be interesting because almost everyone I encounter in the system now hammers me for my ID.

I should get more news next week.

In the meantime, my sister in law today said "Oh! It's not how you perceive yourself-it's how the world perceives you. And that's why yesterday was so natural for you. The world finally perceived you how you wanted." 

Wow  

Nice Picture?

During my last visit to my endocrinologist at the VA, I got a rude awakening-other than the usual's. Much of the Veteran Administration medical records are kept right on line so the Doc can pull them up as soon as I can sit down. I always was impressed until I figured soon my records will be hacked by the Russians or Chinese. Then again, why would they want them?

What I hadn't noticed yet was the fact a very male, over weight and glowering picture was on the VA ID card I have. It's bad-so bad in fact the Doctor nearly recoiled and said "Can't you do something about this picture?" He even showed the resident my "before" picture.

By the way, a VA ID card is not unlike a Drivers License and is used for check in's and automated kiosks in the clinics and hospitals. Keep in mind though, where I am, I am young compared to the other trans vets I see. The older peeps struggle with the new technology.

Of course, with more than a little work, I can take care of the whole problem by changing my VA gender marker ID.  In the meantime though, since I need a new ID (the one I have is falling apart) maybe at least I can get the picture changed.