Yesterday was one of those days you spend years sort of planning for- and hours thinking about as they approach. When I look back at literally all the time I wondered if I could and wonder how it would be to go "full time" and live as an "out" transgender woman.
Liz was off and had a doctors mammogram appointment. I went along and benefited from what I call a "contact estrogen buzz" in the office from all the other women in the waiting room. From what Liz said it's a much more of a factory like demeaning process in the bigger hospital she goes to. I had mine in a much smaller one.
From there we came back briefly to have a little lunch before we drove the 70 miles or so up to Dayton to my daughters house. I made plans to not have to change clothes much if not at all during the day until Liz gave me a wonderful pair of black jeans she had found for me, so what was a trans girl to do? Easy answer? Wear them to a lesbian get together we were going to last night up in Dayton. The evening was significant in that it was the first time I had seen my "old friends" Nikki and Kim and I was going into an alcohol based venue since my drinking ban was instituted.
So, ideally, the outfit I was wearing had to have a little "pizzazz" to it-without looking like I was trying too hard.
On the positive side, my daughter wasn't going to be home (in Hawaii) but her Mother in Law was going to meet with with my VA meds I was coming by for. She has met me in social situations a couple times but we have never really have had a chance to sit and talk very much one on two with Liz and I. She did well and cut the miss-pronouning almost totally out. Of course the grand kids were the grandkids. One had band practice, one was fooling with some sort of computer part and the youngest? Well, no one really knows.
From there it was off on another 20 miles to meet the group. The whole time the clique "You don't need alcohol to have fun." was echoing in my noggin. Well obviously I didn't but much of my past was built around a party. Plus all the other tangents which were involved with drinking while trans. Which could fill another post.
I have to tell you, I loved seeing Kim and Nikki and was accepted by the group-but no booze did affect me. But obviously I will get over it and found Ginger Ale with a lime was OK.
As it turned out, we still weren't done and had to drive another 20 miles east to Springfield to pick up things and check my old house before coming back to Cincinnati.
By the end of all of that, my goal was achieved to put together an outfit which could be comfortable plus be "up scaled" a bit with make up.
The whole day was exactly how I imagined it so many years ago. I was never sure though, if I could have ever imagined doing it.