It Was Only a Dream

Years ago, I used to wake up broken hearted from a reoccurring dream of being a girl. 

Then, as I began to advance through life and became more knowledgeable in the look or looks I was trying to achieve-and the more I began to go out- my dreams followed the process.

In my dreams, I was the prettiest or at the least most convincing girl in the room. Reality to say the least wasn't pleasant. So, in it's place-day dreaming took over. 

I have always wondered how much of my life I essentially wasted in the day dream mode. How would have things been different? Who knows, can't cry over spilled hormones and I am not.

These days, interesting enough though, my dreams are going a different direction. Or not. 

I'm dreaming about coming out as transgender to people. Or appearing to get my gender marker's changed-or whatever.

I guess dreams do follow reality.

Except, I think I would look good in that brand new Porsche of my dreams!

Legal Under the Law

Seemingly after what seemed like a half a decade since my first driver's license- I went out today and changed mine from male to female. And, of course while I was at it I changed my legal name too.

Well, actually it was fifty years ago!

How did it go? I was a puddle of goo :) but with Liz's help and a very helpful BMV clerk-we "got-er-done!"

The Sun, The Moon and the Trans Stars

As you NFL fans probably know, the Cincinnati Bengals won their fifth game this weekend by the slimmest of margins-with a field goal which hit the uprights and then through for the victory. The entire win prompted renowned astrophysicist "Neil deGresseTyson" to tell us why. (follow the link."} 

Today I felt the same effect here in the Cincinnati area which I suppose could be a "residue" from Sunday's game. For some reason I thought today would be a great day to TRY to contact my VA Psychologist, who happens to be the same one who was instrumental in starting me down my HRT path years ago.

She is tough to get to return calls from but today for some reason "The Coriolis Effect" was still spinning my way, because I got a return call less than two hours later. And, as amazing as that was, (it got better) she said she had an opening this Thursday!  And, oh by the way, she is also who could be the one start my "gender marker" change path.

For some unknown reason though, I still feel as if I am walking on thin gender ice. Even after all the transition time I have experienced. Perhaps I always will, but then again I have always felt negotiating the legal gender marker path was as tricky as the physical/social change itself.

No need to be bored - right?

Transgender Veteran Updates

You regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo know I am Vietnam Era trans vet and have had my HRT monitored by the VA (Veterans Administration) for several years now. 

Along the way, other trans vet visitors here have asked for me to provide any extra info when I found it. I did find some "clarifications" today as I was trying to "back track' through the processes I would have to jump through to change my VA gender markers which works through the DD214 form.

Here are some other links you may be interested in:

1. External Fact Sheet
2. Patients and Resident Rights of VA Centers
3. Changing Your Name/Gender

Your next move (of course) is another form - DD 149

Which leads you to:

What evidence should I submit along with my DD Form 149? 

1. Evidence of your legal name change, such as a certified copy of your name change order 

2. We recommend including at least one, and as many as you have available, of the following:  A U.S. Passport showing your updated name and gender - A state driver’s license or identification card showing your updated name and gender - A court order recognizing your gender transition

AND A signed statement, on office letterhead, from a licensed physician.

 Though no requirements for this statement have been issued, we recommend the statement follow the following format: I, (physician’s full name), (physician’s medical license or certificate number), (issuing U.S. State/Foreign Country of medical license/certificate), (DEA Registration number or comparable foreign designation), am the physician of (name of patient), with whom I have a doctor/patient relationship and whom I have treated (or with whom I have a doctor/patient relationship and whose medical history I have reviewed and evaluated). (Name of patient) has had appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition to the new gender (specify new gender male or female)

I will let you read on from there! (TAVAUSA)

The Labels Of Gender Transition

These days I think I am able to put up a pretty good front about my transgender life. Peeps looking in have a tendency to think I am well adjusted. It's true, comparatively speaking I am well adjusted with my life long gender dysphoria. Most of you know though, the hell we go through to get our lives to where we are today. I tell everyone, I would not wish this on anyone and don't tell me I had a choice. Plus, my life today is hard earned and far from complete. I believe I will be transitioning until the "Grim Reaper" comes to fetch me and I ask him if his robe is "Goth" or "Boho" inspired. 

At any rate, I happened across this post from Deidre O'Bryne , a transgender woman from Ireland. In it she touches on one of my most asked question: "At what age did I know I was transgender."  I thought I would pass it along.

Deidre O'Bryne

"AT WHAT AGE did I know I was transgender? It depends on what you mean by “know”. My first time looking at clothes in a different way was at age nine. I spent my teenage years and young adulthood feeling different in a way I couldn’t put my finger on."

She goes on to write about her conflicts with being a cross dresser and other deep questions most of us have struggled with for a life time. She discusses inner gender wars, HRT and gender markers among other things.

Take a look at Deidre's post here.

Nice Picture?

During my last visit to my endocrinologist at the VA, I got a rude awakening-other than the usual's. Much of the Veteran Administration medical records are kept right on line so the Doc can pull them up as soon as I can sit down. I always was impressed until I figured soon my records will be hacked by the Russians or Chinese. Then again, why would they want them?

What I hadn't noticed yet was the fact a very male, over weight and glowering picture was on the VA ID card I have. It's bad-so bad in fact the Doctor nearly recoiled and said "Can't you do something about this picture?" He even showed the resident my "before" picture.

By the way, a VA ID card is not unlike a Drivers License and is used for check in's and automated kiosks in the clinics and hospitals. Keep in mind though, where I am, I am young compared to the other trans vets I see. The older peeps struggle with the new technology.

Of course, with more than a little work, I can take care of the whole problem by changing my VA gender marker ID.  In the meantime though, since I need a new ID (the one I have is falling apart) maybe at least I can get the picture changed.

Breaking Bread with the Brats?

Finally!!!! The much awaited "coming out" meeting with my grand kids is coming up Friday. To refresh your memory, we tried to do it last winter a couple times but were shut out by bad weather. The kids are a 13 year old girl, and two boys-10 and 8. My daughter has predetermined the youngest wouldn't care unless I was transitioning into a cat. The daughter-we may never know.  The ten year old is incredibly diverse and is the one who had the out gay fourth grade teacher. 

By now, any potential intimidation I used to feel about talking to them have pretty much gone away. It's been replaced by what the ten year old is making for lunch! He is still on "house arrest" for getting kicked out of school for fighting.

Seriously, the main issue to the lunch will be what to call me and I have the answer (pre approved by daughter) my so called "final" gender marker name change will be Jessie Jeanne (Jean). Jessie was my paternal grandfather and Jeanne was my Mother. The kids can call me J.J. My only problem is I have been able over the years to build a life as Cyrsti. None of that will matter on Friday.

We have discussed this before on Cyrsti's Condo. Sure I'm biased about these three but they are sharp so it's important to me to not talk over their heads and just as important not to talk under them. Plus, all of the sudden it's trendy? to have a transgender relative.

All in all, it should be an interesting day and we will see how the kid does with lunch! 

It's a Start!

Every once in a while I mention the often bewildering world of changing your gender markers (which means flipping the "M" to "F" or vice versa.  The rules often change radically depending upon where you live.

I have also mentioned I'm just lazy plus a huge procrastinator.  The other day though when Liz and I stopped into a convenience store/gas station for petrol and coffee.  It so happens I have had a rewards card there for ever.  It was still in my male name until the other day when Liz saw the receipt and the name.  To make a long story short, she said something not so positive about the name she saw.

OK already! I changed the name and the marker from "Mr." to "Ms."  I wish it all could be that easy.  Even I would have to quit putting it off.

Whats In A Name Change?

I can not describe the trauma involved with being seated in a Doctor's waiting room, knowing full well someone is going to scream out my very male name. My recent Cyrsti's Condo post on the sudden military's reversal on changing gender markers on a transgender veteran's DD 214. gives me hope I won't have to much longer. As most of you know, I am a trans vet and under VA health care and suddenly the news leaked out the military had changed genders on  a few discharge forms.  Truthfully, I don't know for sure the steps I need to take to apply to get my 214 changed to stop the madness but I now know the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train! There is a chance!

My only real problem is that I am lazy, I have a very androgynous picture on my drivers license, all my friends and the greatest majority of the world pronouns me correctly-so gender markers are on one of my burners-somewhere.  As I have said though, since I am retired on Social Security, I don't have to worry about finding a job as a transgender woman-a huge deal with the wrong gender markers.

Now, I also received this comment: 

Maria HardingFebruary 1, 2015 at 9:23 PM

I really hadn't really thought about it until I read your article then, as I read the first couple of paragraphs here, I was saying to myself, oh no, they can't do that. Then, I absolutely agree if someone has the civilian id then yes. Make it complete. Really good article Cyrsti. Thank you so much for opening my eyes

Thanks to you Maria!  Yes, gender markers are almost as big as deal as the physical transition itself.  It's a daunting task to go back and attempt to erase all vestiges of one's former gender life.  I have read stories of one trans woman who ran into problems (of all places) at her dog's veterinarian.  After all, one bigot in a system seeking to make some sort of statement is all you need to jam a wrench in your life.

But all is getting better-in some places.  My friend Racquel just celebrated her legal name change this week as did my friend Draco years ago.  Here in Ohio though-we are stuck with our birth gender on our birth certificates as I write this.  Getting a passport and a new social security card is not impossible either.  My problems come with playing with Social Security at all and risk my retirement check.

I am sure all of you who have journeyed down the gender marker route at all probably have different stories depending on where you live.  One fact remains-transitioning is not for sissies!

Trans Girls Night Out

I have a dear transgender woman friend I mention here in Cyrsti's Condo often. Lately we have been able to get together every other week or so.  Last night was one of those nights.

Naturally, the chance to interact one on one with another trans girl is special- period.  We share the unique bond of the lives we lead.  No matter what anyone else thinks of us (pro or con) we are living the life we so desperately wanted.

We always meet in a beer tap house/restaurant and sit at the bar and chat.  I've been a regular  for over seven years and have in many ways transitioned in front of a couple of their long term bartenders. In fact two of them remember me when I used to come in there as a guy with my deceased wife who used to work nearby. So meeting my friend there is a natural since I have been accepted for so long and now she is too.

She is significantly ahead of me in her transition in many ways and behind in others.  She is 40, I'm estimating on and off hormones for 15 years, tons of electrolysis, tall, slim and attractive. So attractive last night, the acoustical guitar singer playing was seriously flirting with her.  We even got a special mention to the "ladies at the bar" - we were the only ones.

The only transitional  area I believe she is behind me is she is finally putting full energy into being herself.  It's the place my partner Liz says I found myself in a year or so ago.  She says she found herself marveling at my feminine person coming out of her shell. Also,  I have been so fortunate to witness it in a transgender man friend I have. Of course I'm biased, but I don't see how even the biggest transgender detractors can ignore this.

Now my friend is working on changing her gender markers.  Drivers license done, except for a subtle screw job at the BMV when they added her very male middle name on a license marked "F".  Of course they did! I have no middle name on my male license at all.  Her next step, the legal name change, is in it's final stages.

Can't say I'm not more than a little envious and a much more than a ton frustrated. My plan still is to wait until I go through the turmoil of a final move in with Liz before I begin the gender marker journey. That kids, is a whole other story because you have to add the Medicare and Veteran's Administration systems to my markers, just to make sure I would have extra fun!

But real fun was what the two of us had last night.  I even volunteered to be her "wing girl"-if she buys the wings!

Back in my Mama's Underwear Drawer

Hows that for a title?

The reason I pulled it out of the archives here in "Cyrsti's Condo", is I sent away to the Ohio BMV for the ":Declaration of Gender Change Form."  Just having it "in the mail" was a huge move as I began to consider the ramifications of it all.

The path to transgender self discovery and self fulfillment indeed is a marathon -and a rocky one.  Once you are fairly comfortable "existing" in your chosen gender, then it's time to legally begin a sex change.  I'm fortunate in that (although he doesn't know it yet), I will be knocking on the door of my trans man friend for guidance.  By the way, he is less than a week away from his long awaited "top surgery" and I wish him the best.  In many ways, we started down out gender transition paths about the same time but he has changed all his gender markers already.

As it turns out, the latest family person I have come out to is actually my former sister in law.  Meaning, she is the sister of my deceased wife.  Occupying that lofty position (she believes) gives her more input into my MTF transition.  Like my daughter, they sort of recoil at my name.  In my true form though, I tell them, I really don't care what they think, plus I'm changing it again for my gender markers anyway. Freedom, right? Let me point out, both have been exceedingly supportive of me.

How does Mom's underwear drawer fit into all of this you may ask?

I believe if you live long enough, life becomes a series of interlocking circles which hook up to your basic birth to death circle.  If you are going to be born-at some point you are going to die.  We could compare it too, to a charm bracelet which the circle is simply around your wrist. I guess you could say my first "charm" was Mom's undie drawer.

Then, I thought back to the days when I "found" the drawer of Mom's undies and what was really going on in my noggin. Before you jump off the bridge and want to toss me into the fetish cross dresser niche, this phase for me was all too short and unfulfilling. Surely, I felt some of the "fetish" pull but deep down inside, but a predetermined switch was surely thrown. Unfortunately, I spent 50+ years of my life trying to turn it back off- to no avail.

For any number of reasons, my Mom chose to turn a blind eye to my excursions and of course never talked to me about it.  She probably hoped it was all a phase and would disappear-which it did, for her.  I began to save my paper route money, combined it with my allowance and found ways to build my own "stash" of clothes, make up, etc.

After I finished my phone call to the BMV, for the briefest second, I was that little boy fascinated with my Mom's undies. I realized this part of my circle had closed.  The mystery is gone and reality is here.  At that point I realized how far that I have come and how far I still have to go.

When Your "Comfort Zone" isn't so "Comfortable" Anymore.

I gave quite a bit of thought to all the activity described in the "Hate" Cyrsti's Condo post yesterday and managed to come up with what I thought was a fairly simple idea:  My old comfort zone as a guy just isn't comfortable anymore.

Back in the day, I could out macho my way through most situations I found my way into-or got myself into with my mouth. I could have stared down the stupid inbred hill jack in the truck. No more.  One reason is-we have talked until we are blue or green in the face here about the effects of HRT and the fact remains I am now the proud owner of an increasingly prominent set of feminine breasts. Sure, I see plenty of guys in my town who could easily fill a "C" or even a "D" cup with their "Moobs" (Man Boobs) but in the wrong t-shirt, mine are distinctly feminine to the point of going in for my first mammogram in a week or so.

So what's my problem (you and I are both asking?)  I still have this thin thread connecting to me to my male past.  The thread is the remnant of the lifeline I carried with me when I was deciding how transgender I was.  When I had a particularly bad day experimenting presenting as a woman in public, I knew my gender line was still there to pull myself back into my "comfort zone."

Now it is the exact opposite.  The only reason the thread is till there at all is I'm lazy and for the very few occasions I need to bring him back.  I'm the supreme procrastinator and if something is not beating me in the noggin (such as gender markers) , I will put them off.  You should have seen the confusion on the front desk girl's face as she checked my driver's license when we got to our hotel for Trans Ohio.  I'm sure she knew I wasn't genetic but when she looked at my ID, .my picture looks very androgynous but has a male gender marker.  The worst part is, Ohio is not a difficult state to get your gender changed on a driver's license (but impossible so far on a birth certificate.) So exactly what is it I'm waiting for?

I guess you can say I am afraid to cut that last thread but not for any of the usual reasons.  I have said I infuriate the gender "purists" who recoil at any retention of anything male as they transition, but that's not me. I'm sure as hell not against using anything from my past to further my future.

Setting aside any of my past though,  the old comfort zone "just ain't what it used to be" and the new one is feeling more and more natural.

Breakfast with the "Kid"

First of all, we are talking about my "kid" who happens to be 35 and a mother of three. For those of you who happen to be new to Cyrsti's Condo, my daughter is incredibly supportive and in fact my MtF transition has made us closer.

Recently though, she has been pretty quiet about receiving a "transition" update.  I knew her life was incredibly full with her family so I let her come to me. At a recent breakfast. I could see the wheels turning in her noggin, so I knew it was time.

Coming up in June is my grand daughter's Bat Mitzva.  If you don't know, it's the female Jewish equivalent of her coming of age ceremony.  The group of people attending will be incredibly diverse, religiously and politically. An example is I was baptized Methodist, became involved with Buddhism in Thailand when I was there and now am evolving into more of an earth based spiritualism. I guarantee you, most of the people there won't want to talk religion with me, and they shouldn't.  Nor, should they be distracted by my appearance anymore than I can help it.  As I have written many times, my HRT is transforming me into an androgynous person at the least and there will be a group of radical right wingers attending.  Of course I can tie all this hair I have back into a pony tail and look for an xxl very loose shirt of some sort to hide my breasts but my skin gives me away too. My only consideration is, it is my grand daughter's day and I don't need to be a distraction at all.  I don't think my daughter really cared but just needed to know what to expect.

Issue two with her was bouncing the name change off her and what goes on with the process of gender markers. She liked the idea of changing my name to Jessie but unfortunately had never gotten to meet or know my grandfather who I'm "adopting" the name from.

The only unfinished business was what were the kids going to call me in the future and when.  My only answer to the question was to follow the status quo for awhile. The two oldest kids (12 and 8) know but the six year old doesn't.  My suggestion was at some point in the future, it will be time for a sit down with just the three of them and me to "announce" the move. As it stands now, until I can get totally sold out of my old homestead and down to Cincinnati full time, there still are bits and pieces of my old self to deal with-as a guy or even as a cross dresser.

As you can probably tell, breakfast was a total success and she even paid!

Gender "Marks the Spot"

Here in Cyrsti's Condo, I have discussing my current plans to begin to take the next big step in my Mtf transition and change my gender markers.  With gender markers, you don't realize how many there are. I knew when I wrote the post, (as I said) I know a couple transgender friends who have changed their markers,including Shelle.  Recently she was kind enough to take her time and comment:

Certainly changing my markers has been the most difficult and arduous of all my tasks as I transition,It is a huge undertaking that tests your very resolve as a transgender, even armed with legal court documents some of it is just a miserable slog through a system that has known me as M for a lifetime and many of them are just plain resistant to change things and it takes sometimes a month or more to just change simple things like your electric,and gas account,and all the other accounts related to your previous existence you are left in some cases for a time thinking you suddenly don't exist at all,it two times for my bank to get my checks right so I could begin paying my bills again the whole thing gets done but not without a huge amount of perseverance.

By far dealing with the rules in my state are the worst for me,as they require a minimum of genital mutilation to acknowledge me as F,I'm sure they don't give much thought to it but they are asking me to give up likely on a permanent basis my ability to ever have sexual satisfaction as I have known it all my life,that's asking a very lot of a person just to give me the dignity of being who I truly am,I have thought very long and hard about going through with this major step in life,but having my markers changed is as important to me as the HRT was, so I will move forward reluctantly feeling somewhat stripped of my right to human dignity, I personally feel this is cruel and unusual punishment of my diagnosed condition,and I pray it will be changed for those behind me, not all of us has the monies or inclination to have the surgery. so for while longer I have to live somewhere between M&F branded as it were as T.

I'm in the same situation as Shelle because of for whatever reason, I don't see SRS in my future.  Our differences lie in which state we live in. For example, here in Ohio, changing your legal name isn't very difficult in most counties and changing a driver's license isn't either. However, I don't believe you can get a birth certificate changed here, with or without SRS.

The "big dog" Social Security changed it's policy sometime ago to: allow transgender people to change the gender designation on their Social Security records by submitting either an amended passport or birth certificate reflecting the applicant's lived gender, or certification from a physician confirming that the individual has undergone appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition.

If you are a cynic like me, you are looking for the "catch 22" in the process. I wondered,if in the end, an amended birth certificate (not possible) would stop me from getting an amended passport? But that's not true either according to this release: A transgender person can obtain a passport reflecting his or her current gender by submitting a certification from a physician confirming that he or she has had appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition.

From all of this you can see how intense this process can be. Fortunately we transgender women and men have had some very powerful and competent advocates opening doors for us.  An excellent example is what transgender veteran activist Autumn Sandeen has done to ease gender marker changes within the VA.  Shelle is a trans vet too and I'm sure she agrees!

Thanks again Shelle,  for commenting for us and you can always check out her blog here.

Gender by Default

Not so long ago here in Cyrsti's Condo, we covered the topic of changing your gender markers.  If you didn't know, gender markers are those all important letters "M" or "F" in your legal existence.

Some documents pack a huge impact (such as social security, driver's license, etc.), others, not so much-or do they?

I began to think about it the other day and here is why:  I applied for one of the gas/convenience store discount cards which are so prevalent and popular in my part of the world.  Essentially the more you spend with them, the less you pay for their gas.

For years I have had a card with a well established gas chain in my hometown under my male name, a couple days ago I applied for another chain's card under my female name.  The gender box of course defaulted me to male or female.  To be clear, these cards are not credit or debit cards of any sort, but these days you know all your info sooner or later is going into big data bases.  I have never doubted Big Brother is watching and if I really had anything to hide, I wouldn't be out here writing a blog.

I just wonder if some day I will be cross referenced by address, age and gender on one of these lower level cards and bounced.  It won't happen I know because all these companies want is my money and all the gender markers which really matter are cross referenced by social security numbers.

It's just my little conspiracy theory but I wonder if sometime in the future, more than a couple of my old male gender markers will make a surprise return to my life.

I know at least two visitors to "theCondo" (Shelle and Drake) who have started down the gender marker trail but as of yet, I haven't. Actually, I see the process as important to me as starting HRT. Obviously, the process separates me further from my male past.  I can rationalize not beginning the process on laziness but my deadlines to sign up for Medicare are rapidly approaching this year and obviously if I can register female then I would save myself headaches later.  Plus, I will have to read up (and get some advice) from a few of my Veteran's Administration friends to get an idea of what I have to do to get my markers changed with the VA as it interfaces with Medicare.

Fortunately, I'm not totally clueless about the strides that have been made with changing gender markers.  It seems on occasion, every time you can cross one huge MtF transition threshold-you are looking square at another.

"Mo Names"

Two outstanding comments on our "What's in a Name" post here in Cyrsti's Condo.

The first from Shelle takes the process a little deeper and is very useful for those of us who still have all the gender marker hurdles ahead of us:

It seems the vast majority choose an adaptation of their first given name,as I was never called by mine (my mother hated it because it was the same as my father and they went through a bitter divorce when I was quite young) I first chose an adaptation of my middle name,but when my transition began in earnest I felt it just didn't suit me,so changed it,this past summer I began the process of changing my name and gender markers as I could it required some expensive court costs but it's done as for my gender marker it went quite smoothly on the federal level but as for my birth records and state ID,not so the state of Indiana requires proof that I have had significant permanent surgery,and another expensive trip through the court system leaving my fate to a judge I recently found out I can receive an orchy through the VA so this is my next step I push on undaunted by the barriers cast in front of me but wishing it wasn't so very difficult and expensive.

Thanks Shelle, if the VA is approving an "orchy" maybe breast augmentations are next!

From Paula:
"Call me anything like except late for lunch" We are privileged to be able to choose our own names, most people have t put up with whatever their parents chose for them. I decided to stick with what I had, just taking the feminine version. On the other hand, daughter was not too impressed with our choice for her, so she has hyphenated her two forenames together and rather likes that.

Don't beat me to that lunch line Paula!  I had an easy choice not to use a feminized version of my male name, because there really isn't one! Indeed it is a privilege to choose a new name as it is to have the opportunity to live in our chosen gender!

What's In a Name Part 12

We have bounced the idea's of how we "renamed" ourselves here in Cyrsti's Condo more than a couple times and I promise not to bore you again with this post.  (Better said than done!)

Many of you have sent in comments about how you came to choose the feminine moniker you now use. Idea's such as, family names, women you admire or even the sound of the name are equally as relevant.  I have written how I impulsively chose Cyrsti one night (pronounced Krysti) when I was at the very beginning of considering transitioning from a cross dresser to a transgender woman.  The name caught on before I could consider the ramifications of what I was doing because it is simple enough for the public to use ...if they don't have to spell it plus (I never considered) how the unique spelling allows it to be found in internet search engines.

I have also have written here about my desire to choose another name, which comes from a respected family member from my youth. The name is Jessie and ironically was my grandfathers name. The poetic justice is, my long deceased grandfather was a strong well respected man in his community. Leave it to me, right?

Last week, I even brought the subject up of changing gender markers as the next tier of my transition process with my partner Liz.  Having the "steel trap mind" she thinks she has, it took her approximately a day to mention when I was going through the process, it would be a "now or never" moment to do the name thing.  Don't tell her I said this, but she is right, the synergy is there.  Over the years, I have known any number of transgender women who went by one name before SRS and one after.  Just because I'm not going through the physical torment of changing my genetalia, I am taking all the final legal steps to wipe "male" off my records.

Then, the more I thought of it, I'm not the "social butterfly" I used to be and am slowly but surely moving to a new area, so why wouldn't it be a good time for an appropriate name change?  Doesn't matter anyhow, there are more than a couple peeps out there who would love to use less appropriate names with me than the ones I just mentioned.

It's just a new take on the old theme, "you can call me Cyrsti, or you can call me Jessie", just don't call me tranny, she male, dude, it, or a-hole!