It's Backwards Both Ways

Not such a strange statement to those of you who are dyslexic like I am?

Or, I suppose I could have used "Now You See Me-Now You Don't" as a title for this post on stealth (among) other subjects.

Those of you with a little age may remember the approved way to escape the rigors of the "Jerry Springer Show" and settle down, was to go through the "change" (SRS) and settle down in a different town. Essentially there was no in between - between transvestite and transsexual.

Let's not forget too, the infamous gender slur tra--ny and the use of the term "passing."

I will never forget Stana from Femulate answering a reader who said she couldn't pass with a full explanation of how to do it in a car...hilarious!

Going stealth I guess is the ultimate purge of your male persona.

What would Jerry say?

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

You regulars know this one has a place close to my heart!

Trans Ohio Symposium-Day One

Symposium is a big word.  The ancient Greek definition is actually different from what I thought it would be:
The Greek symposium was a key Hellenic social institution.
It was a forum for men of good family to debate, plot, boast, or simply to revel with others.  Hey, nothing wrong with that and I would be kidding you if I said none of that went on at the Trans Ohio Symposium which begins today (Friday).  The really big deal though, are the workshops provided.

I have found over the years, the best way to get your money's worth at a tour or a group event was to volunteer. By doing so, you can provide much needed assistance and learn more yourself.  Essentially it's a trade out (barter) -your precious time for your precious money.   At this time of my life, my time is a commodity I can trade, so Liz and I both signed up for day one today to help.

What is today? It's a day of presentations for what I call the "intelligentsia" (Latin this time for:is a social class of people engaged in complex mental labour aimed at disseminating culture.) People interested in such things can get college education credits from the sessions today as professional types dissect issues such as  transgender violence, prisoners, school students, partners, athletes and more.  Then tomorrow and Sunday-is the time for the "not so intelligentsia" such as me and others who are - discuss another whole range of subjects.

Wow! Such a weekend.  My problem is I have always been a conference "geek" and come away with too many things I believe I need to do to "conquer the world" I was always taught if you could come away with three and do them-that was an excellent return for your time. So knowledge and meeting Trans artist Pamela Ann Reed and Transgender veteran/activist Brynn Tannehill will be geeking moments for me. Finally, I will be interested to see how the mix of participants works out this year.  Last year the proportion seemed to be in favor of younger transgender men.  I feel much of our feminine population is still deeply closeted by need or is of the opinion of one of my friends that she is still a "tra--y" and only would go to party.

I tried to tell her, of course there will party time too-as in all great conferences but this one is so much more!

"T" Words?

We seem to embrace an inordinate amount of "T" words.  Transgender, transsexual, transvestite and of course "tr__ny."  On the Femulate blog yesterday, Stana, wrote a post backing the word "tr__ny.   I left a comment there but (being me) I felt the need to follow up on it here in Cyrsti's Condo.

First of all, I need to be very careful how I respond as I get very passionate about this subject. (I know you regulars are laughing now and Liz is saying-Damn Cyrsti and those HRT hormones!) So, my disclaimer is I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.

If I had to guess, and of course I will-. I would speculate those who have no problem with the word are older cross dressers from the transvestite days we all grew up in.  Also, girls in other countries, primarily Paula in the UK have said the Tr__ny word has a different social connotation there.I can't speak to that. What I can speak to is this:  is how I am perceived when I go to TGLBQ meetings.  Remember the experience of my first "Equality Springfield" Meeting (where I live) and I introduced myself as the only transgender woman in Springfield? Seriously if I had introduced myself as a tr__ny the other members would have wondered what drag show I was performing in that week.  Sure "Tr__ny is only a word but it's a powerful one in the meetings I have been to and I know there are those of you who say it's only a label-who cares.  I do- when I am trying to educate people to who I am.  It's like encouraging a third grader to use the "N" word for the black kids in class.

Equality Springfield Ohio Marching at Pride last summer.

Perhaps too,  it's because these people are fighting for rights all of us should have already had, such as the right not to be fired for being trans or a cross dresser, housing, rest rooms, health care and more.  I'm throwing the stone in my own glass house here. I was as deeply closeted as I could be for decades because I knew I would lose my job-transvestite, tr__ny or what.

What has happened is the transgender word has taken on more significance because transphobic members of the gay and straight community have pushed "tr__ny into being a gender slur.  For that reason alone I consider it the same as the "N" or "F" word because I have had it used on me.

It took me a long time to get here, but when I go to Trans Ohio and the upcoming Pride events-I want the world to know I'm different. I'm not a "tr__ny vet" but a transgender vet and I'm sure I will see the queens and my cross dressing cousins enjoying themselves too as they should but I am not them either.  Like it or not "tr__ny" ties me in with them.   All I'm asking really is simple- I think it's a slur and don't use it on me.  In a land of free speech though, call yourself anything you want!

I love you all!

Having Coffee with the Peeps

If you recall, my sit down with the Dayton/Cincinnati Trans Ohio community meeting was this last Tuesday and I wrote a brief post about it here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Since that time of course, I have come up with a few more observations.  First, I was disappointed in the transgender turn out.  In an organization called Trans, in a group of 14-16 peeps, there were only three in the room who identified as trans. From that point on, the meeting became one of educating everyone else about us and our concerns. Absolutely no problem.

The tough part was explaining why we transgender women belonged there anyhow. Trans Ohio is largely a trans male based organization but I have no problem with that either.  The third trans person in the room was a trans guy and the host.  Bottom line was, once again, I found myself  aligning with the other trans women and speaking for a silent group.  Fortunately, neither of us was shy.

As I said before, we introduced transgender employment, health care and over all visibility into the conversation. The first two, are such huge issues, I can't come even close to solving them -except to talk.  As far as visibility went, the turn out proved we are still an invisible "T".  A gay guy in the room went out of his way to explain why using the Tranny word was as OK.  He had it all worked out.  Since gay guys can call themselves fags then they can call themselves trannies as well as black's can use the "N" word with each other.  What he still didn't understand was as long as Tranny can be mistaken for an abbreviation for transgender or transsexual, it's not right  and is a slur.

I was satisfied though, by the end of the meeting, I walked out with the feeling I had helped to educate the gays and lesbians in the room who we really were.  An example was the young lesbian representative from a prominent GL organization in Cincinnati  who had no idea of HRT was or the succession of transition. I make the mistake of assuming they know as much about us, as we know about them.

The best I could do from there- at the end of the meeting I passed out my business cards and volunteered to attend their meetings too.  Every educated person helps!

Finally, the building the meeting was held in a GBLT Center and the sign on the restroom door was "Anyone"!

Inter Culture Slurs

Here we go again, today in one of the transgender Google+ groups, someone called me a "gurl". Really? Well, you regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know how I feel about that...not warm and fuzzy.  Right or wrong I equate the term with a stereotype I have been trying to lose for years. This time though, my rather snarky reply to the person turned out to be a real eye opener for me.  Plus the person gave me my first look into yet another segment of our community I don't think about much-a gay man who transitioned.

Wow, as I thought about the idea and added my somewhat limited knowledge of gay men, I realized how difficult that must be.  Finally just getting to the point of not being discriminated against in gay venues for me was tough enough and that didn't include the time it took me to educate them to the fact I wasn't a fetish CD on the "down low" looking for sex or a queen.

Here's the reply (unedited)

Um ... hm. Good question loaded with a valid point. Perhaps this is a topic for a new thread? Regardless, I will answer your question with complete honesty (as I am so impassioned as of late!). I am still rather new to being openly trans*. I suppose like many others my experience is varied and complex. In short I lived as a gay man for many years. Early in my "coming out" stage I performed drag as a way to express how I truly felt about myself. But, in my experienced, drag queens are acceptable in the gay/lesbian community while trans* is still very much misunderstood. I know many of my past friends (gay men especially) just don't seem to get it. It is still hard for them ... my ex of 6 years couldn't understand why "drag" turned into a lifestyle at home. I never understood why I wasn't attracted to gay men; it seemed I was only attracted to straight men. (An impossible life ... ) I suppose I even went through a few years where a clinician would have called what I was doing as a fetish or that it was more about sex. I have old friends (again, mostly gay men) who think getting dressed up is my way of seducing the straight men I have always been attracted to but could never have while living as a man. So, in the process I have referred to myself as "gurl," "tranny," and "cross-dresser." In many ways those "titles" accurately reflected my knowledge, exposure, and self-awareness.

It has only been by involving myself in trans* communities such as this that I have learned the difference. Whether you are offended or not ... I am a woman who lived as a gay man performing drag, I was a big ole "gurl" for the longest time, and was less offended in times past by the behavior of a "tranny chaser." I use the term "gurl" as a way of differentiating between CIS women and trans* women. Or, maybe I should say, I used to? But, in this age of political correctness at every turn I also think we can get our panties in a bunch rather easily over some of the most innocent of behavior, speech, and action. I mean no offense. It's only an indication of how much room remains to grow and how much more I must learn. Thankfully I remain open-minded and willing. I hope that clarifies the use of "gurl." 

As I said, I was truly impressed by the reply and the thought behind it and couldn't wait to get permission to pass it along to you all here in "theCondo"!

What's In a Name Part 12

We have bounced the idea's of how we "renamed" ourselves here in Cyrsti's Condo more than a couple times and I promise not to bore you again with this post.  (Better said than done!)

Many of you have sent in comments about how you came to choose the feminine moniker you now use. Idea's such as, family names, women you admire or even the sound of the name are equally as relevant.  I have written how I impulsively chose Cyrsti one night (pronounced Krysti) when I was at the very beginning of considering transitioning from a cross dresser to a transgender woman.  The name caught on before I could consider the ramifications of what I was doing because it is simple enough for the public to use ...if they don't have to spell it plus (I never considered) how the unique spelling allows it to be found in internet search engines.

I have also have written here about my desire to choose another name, which comes from a respected family member from my youth. The name is Jessie and ironically was my grandfathers name. The poetic justice is, my long deceased grandfather was a strong well respected man in his community. Leave it to me, right?

Last week, I even brought the subject up of changing gender markers as the next tier of my transition process with my partner Liz.  Having the "steel trap mind" she thinks she has, it took her approximately a day to mention when I was going through the process, it would be a "now or never" moment to do the name thing.  Don't tell her I said this, but she is right, the synergy is there.  Over the years, I have known any number of transgender women who went by one name before SRS and one after.  Just because I'm not going through the physical torment of changing my genetalia, I am taking all the final legal steps to wipe "male" off my records.

Then, the more I thought of it, I'm not the "social butterfly" I used to be and am slowly but surely moving to a new area, so why wouldn't it be a good time for an appropriate name change?  Doesn't matter anyhow, there are more than a couple peeps out there who would love to use less appropriate names with me than the ones I just mentioned.

It's just a new take on the old theme, "you can call me Cyrsti, or you can call me Jessie", just don't call me tranny, she male, dude, it, or a-hole!

28% Gave a Duck!

Or...they didn't give a "duck" and the ratings of "Duck Dynasty" took a 28% dive in the opening 5th season show. As it turned out, one of my least fave "tranny drag queens"- Rude Paul  came up with a potential home for the three million Duck defectors:  the Tuck Dynasty.

Certainly I'm impressed three million people are not gonna stand for Phil Robertson’s offensive comments about bestiality, gay sex and statutory rape!

Tossing the "T"

Many different directions I can go with this. Maybe "testosterone", or how about "tranny"?

I have written many times here in Cyrsti's Condo how I feel about the use of the gender slur.  If you have ever read any of Parker Molloy's posts, you know she writes well and with authority  Recently, she wrote on the subject of gender slurs, primarily from the privileged group with the TGLB culture- gay cisgender males.

Here are a couple excerpts from Molloy's post:

"A common argument in favor of using "tranny" is, "But that word is just part of drag culture!" Here's my rebuttal: I don't care. "Drag culture" or not, that's not a word that's appropriate to throw around. It's a hateful slur that is often the last thing that trans women hear before being beaten or murdered. Just as it wouldn't be acceptable for me to go around using the word "f*ggot," as I'm not a gay man, it's inappropriate for gay men and male-identified drag queens to use "tranny."

and:


(In The Huffington Post) " Joe Hutcheson blogged about his evolution toward accepting the use of female pronouns and terminology -- "she," "her," and "girl" -- for male-identified gay people. That's cute and all, but some folks actually care about pronouns. If someone is going to call me "she," "her," or "girl," I want it to be because that person, you know, sees me as a woman, not because they're just so super-sassy that they say, "Pronouns and identification be damned. I'm calling you 'girl' because, um, fierce!" Do whatever you want, gay dudes, just stop doing things that harm trans people in the process. Can you manage that? It's bad enough that while trans people still struggle to use the restroom without legal repercussions, we're expected to sit quietly as marriage rights take the bulk of money donated to LGBT (more like GLb...[t]) organizations. We shouldn't have to worry about whether or not you're going to stab us in the back with words too.

 In conclusion, don't say "tranny." Just don't. It doesn't matter if you do drag, or if "it's not meant as a slur." If you are a cisgender gay man, that is not your word to use."

There is much more to read of course and you can go here to the Huffington Post to check it out.

As a side note, this happened to me several months ago when I was in a rather small local gay venue I go to every now and then:
The performing drag queens pretty much are the same and in fact one of them is a co owner of the place.  They kind of get aggravated when I really don't watch the shows often. (Seen one drag show-seen them all.) When they were taking a break between sets, one of the drag queens came by and said "glad you could get out tonight."  In my part of the world that's commonly referred to as "glad you could get all dolled up and way from your "drab" (guy) world tonight." I quickly told the queen and the bartender that I didn't have to get anywhere tonight and I live my life this way. What was I wearing? My favorite "boyfriend" jeans flip flops and a frilly tank top. It wasn't like I was doing drag. The queen was quick to stereotype me though and a chance for me to tersely lay some trans education on them. 

Donahue and I

"Lots O Comments" concerning the Phil Donahue/Tri Ess?/JoAnn Roberts post.

Francine's allows me to answer a good question:

"Thanks for posting this. I remember those days and later when the internet helped us all realize we were not alone. We were not crazy. By the way, How do you pronounce your first name? the spelling is different, so I have trouble."

Francine, my name is pronounced the same as "Kristi", or Christy. I just wanted to add a little "pizzazz" to it!

Paula's commented: "Yes in some ways we have come a long way, in others nothing has changed at all" Unfortunately, Paula, that is true but that show to me was a great example of the attitudes towards us "back in the day" where I lived.  Speaking only from my perspective.  I don't see that kind of ignorance and dislike anymore, thank goodness!

Finally, Mandy commented "Interestingly, I remember seeing that Donahue show when it was aired "back in the day." And, the "girl inside" has been peeking out of the closet ever since..." Mandy, I believe you speak for many here in Cyrsti's Condo and thanks for commenting!

I have commented before I'm partial to Donahue because he got his talk show start on a local TV station close to where I live (Dayton, Ohio).  I actually went to one of his shows in Dayton concerning the Vietnam War back in the late 1960's before he went national in Chicago.

Later on, one of Phil's shows focused on a former "biker" from Middletown, Ohio who basically came home, told his wife he wanted to be a woman so he cut his beard and off they went to K-Mart for makeup. She was one of the first transsexual guests I remember him having and of course she was much different than the Tri-Ess cross dressers.

I'm trying to find the video clip of her but basically she transitioned into a relatively shy long blond haired "good ol girl" which are so prevalent in my part of the world. The word was, she used to frequent a gay bar in Monroe, Ohio which I had been to a couple of times but I never saw her.

Another episode which stands out in my mind is this interview with an 18 year old Angie Roberts who now claims to go by  Angelina Roberts:

Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Topic :The Human Side of a Trans Elitist

Such a week kids, but then again aren't most of them?

Topping my Sunday morning list this week is being called a trans elitist, which I guess is another term for trans nazi. Those of you who read my verbage (not garbage) on a regular basis were most likely as amused as I was - or not.

For those of you who don't know,   I in no way consider myself to be any better than anyone else because they may be a cross dresser or stuck in the closet.  My goals have always been to throw out ideas to you if you are thinking about transitioning. BUT, I do consider myself a trans activist of sorts.  In this day and age, everyone is protecting their "brand" and I do believe in protecting the trans brand  and I ended up being called an elitist for doing it as once again as I protested an individual who posted cross dressing fetish videos under the transgender name.

Quickly,  the response came back that I was some sort of "elitist" because of my current lifestyle. I never could connect the dots with her that when someone mislabels and posts a trashy video it hurts me when I try to educate the public on who I am. It can be as destructive with the wrong person as Rude Paul calling us Tranny's or "Houston Ugly" who couldn't even refer to the trans woman student as Mia not Mia/Ryan.  So, I guess if all of that makes me an elitist, so be it!

Hey, can't be worse than being called "just another old guy on hormones" or how about "Cyrsti, you ignorant F--k?." Seriously though, for the amount of traffic we are beginning to see here in the Condo and as outspoken as I am on certain topics, I'm surprised I don't have more "trolls" stopping by. Then again Halloween is over. No candy for you trolls!

Speaking of the OWN show I called "Houston Ugly", it's really "Houston Beauty" I was referring to.

As I wrote in a blog post yesterday, the show features a transgender beauty named Mia (right)
Being the "elitist" that I am, I thought she came across as a serious positive messenger for the trans community -surrounded by cast of reality show clowns.  !!

Different Language?

On occasion I sit in my Midwestern American environment and forget Cyrsti's Condo is on Al Gore's world wide web and I get feed back from the world!  As Gomer Pyle used to say "Golleee"!!
Vicky Woods, another one of our UK girls who stops by the "Condo"  passed along this comment concerning the use of the "Tranny" word as a gender slur in the Davina Willis video:

"I enjoyed that Crysti. I think that it shows the slightly different way in which we in the UK treat the word TRANNY. Although as a mtf transsexual it is not my favorite word it does not instill in me the outrage that an American would feel. I think partly because over here in the UK it is often used without malice."

I did a little further research on Davina Willis/Davina Moore. She works as a customer services adviser in Romford, Essex in the UK. No one seemed to know which direction she took in her life with a gender selection.

Thanks Vicki!

Davina Willis

Excuse the gender slur but this video goes back to the year 2000 when Davina Willis won Miss Gay UK and "Tranny of the Year."

Ch-Ch-Changes

It's been a minute since I've seen the "transvestite" term used.  To my knowledge transvestite is not considered a gender slur such as tranny, gurl, shemale etc....it seems to be a term that just kind of "lost it's buzz".

In remembrance, I'm passing along a video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen from July of this year called "Transvestite Musings" to see what Helen has to say:

Gender Slurs and the Trans Woman

When someone who doesn't know any better on line calls me a "gurl", I just have to set them straight.  I have always thought a "gurl" was a gender slur not unlike the "T" word or tranny.  Or, at the least it ties me in with someone like a fetish cross dresser or even "she male". For the most part though, most are very understanding when I tell them my reasons for disliking the term.

In my regular life I'm fortunate.  My close little circle of friends just call me Cyrsti, she or dummy and life is good.  In the chance though that someone does call you or I a "Tranny", I'm passing along one person's idea of how to handle it on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

"T'd" Me Off

An article from the Huffington Post recently had me thinking about a recent experience with a guy using the gender slur Tranny with me.  For reasons he would not admit to, a guy showed up in one of my "Google+" Transgender groups. Of course I couldn't let it alone since the original post was referring to the well worn subject of why transgender women carry the stigma of being promiscuous.  Of course he didn't believe in any of that but he and his wife have been looking for a "tranny slave" or two for their domination "fun" group. Not only are all of all "easy" we just love to be dominated!

Let me point out I could care less about anyone's sexual preference or fetish, it doesn't matter to me what most do as long as I'm not hurt...Within legal reason of course. He kept accusing me of that when my main point was his use of the "T" gender slur. Couldn't get him to understand the process was the same as using the "N" word or any number of other racial slurs.  His main argument was the transgender women in the group had no problem with being called a tranny. Very similar to "I'm not a bigot, some of my best friends are black."

Again he would have no part of my point that his "transgender" women weren't.  They probably were fetish cross dressers, gurls or even she males.

Unfortunately the abuse doesn't begin or end with a man like him as documented by Jennifer Finney Boylan  (left)

"Hey, can we have a conversation about the word "tranny"? It's a word that is generally considered dehumanizing and offensive when referring to transgender people, like the "N" word for a person of color, or the "F" word for a gay man. But there it was in headlines last week in the story about DJ Mister Cee, who'd been outed as having had sex with a transgender prostitute (see "Is That You Boo? Mister Cee DRAGGED Out The Closet By Alleged Tranny Lover Who Taped Their Encounter??? [Video]"). There it was in a Daily Beast interview with actor Jared Leto about his performance as a transsexual woman in the new movie Dallas Buyers Club. (Writer Marlow Stern's first question: "How did you summon your inner tranny for this role?") And there it was, virtually everywhere, when Chelsea Manning came out as trans last month, causing editors from The Huffington Post to NPR to go running to their copies of the AP Stylebook for help. Politico's Dylan Byers actually wrote a smart article about the challenge, titled "Manning Switch Challenges Style Editors," which you'll have to admit was putting it mildly."

Of course there is much more to this post which you can read here but I'm going to finish off with this excerpt:

"Once, early in transition, I found myself wandering around L.L. Bean in Freeport, Maine, wearing a wig that would have been better off used as a home for red squirrels. If you didn't know better, you might well have called me some kind of a "hot mess." I still remember the huge eyes with which a small child, holding her mother's hand, viewed me as I drew near. "Mommy," said the child. "Who is that?" To this day I am grateful for the mother's reply. "That," she said, "is a human being."

FYI, I had that wig and the kid said "Big MEAN woman".

Jared Leto Makes a Woman?

The God like Jared Leto

Headline from The Rolling Stone : "Jared Leto makes a beautiful woman."

Will there now be a backlash from the immoral right? Really?  Jared Leto has made a woman?  Will the Catholics make him a saint?  After all, can't only God make a person?

Looking way back in my past, I had the same power.  More than once someone would say I made a great looking woman.  Where was she? Did I make that hot redhead down the sidewalk? Where was my spot in the Bible?

Of course I just didn't think I belonged up there with the grand creator.  Not only that, I found plenty of those who couldn't spell what I was. I became a gurl or a grrl and even a tranny.

I am happy to say most of all of this is fading quickly. Needless to say, I didn't make anyone and I now I promptly reject any and all shemale gender slurs directed at me.

I do wonder however how Jared Leto feels about his new found creation powers?

That's a LOT of Beer!

From the LGBTQNation: and the Oregonian:

 A Portland bar owner has been ordered to pay about $400,000 to a group of transgender patrons he banned from his establishment last year. The Bureau of Labor and Industries civil rights division imposed the penalty against Chris Penner, owner of the Twilight Room Annex.

The Twilight Room Annex, formerly branded as the P Club. Eleven people will share in the penalty, with amounts ranging from $20,000 to $50,000. It’s the first penalty imposed under the 2007 Oregon Equality Act, which protects the rights of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender Oregonians in employment, housing and public places. Some other complaints ended in settlements.

 The bureau’s civil rights division began investigating the bar formerly known as The P Club last year after owner Chris Penner left a voice message for one of the T-Girls, a social group for transgender people that went to the bar on Friday nights. According to the complaint filed with the bureau, the message said: “People think that a.) We’re a tranny bar, or b.) We’re a gay bar. We are neither. People are not coming in because they just don’t want to be here on a Friday night now.”

Lesson learned?

Really?

Perhaps you have heard of the protests in our community in Portland, Oregon over a production called Tranny Thursdays.  These excerpts come from PQ:

"Criticism of a new Portland play (read: sex) party called “Tranny Thursdays” is exposing tensions in the trans community over language, identity, and public image. Promotional materials for the monthly event promising “private, intimate, discrete time with Trannys” have sparked confusion regarding the intended audience, objections to the use of a word considered a slur by many, and concern with the “Ladies Night Out” take on gender dynamics.

“No more grubby bookstores or seedy adult theaters!” writes promoter and host Sasha Scarlett (aka Joshua Ryan, who identifies as a drag queen/gender illusionist). Scarlett, who also produces the Portland Erotic Ball and runs a media company, says she launched the play party after some of the “‘straight’ men” she’s dated asked her to do more “trans/gender-flexible events.” “I have been exploring my sexuality and have met other trans-identifying gurls and their admirers,” Scarlett tells PQ. The party is “intended to allow people interested in talking, mingling, becoming acquainted"

Huh? Talking, mingling, becoming acquainted? Do the "gurls" bring a covered dish or just plenty of protection? How many of you have frequented adult book stores or seedy theatre's recently to find "friends"?

When is the gay male Rude Paul attached community going to wake up and quit the gender slurs? You have to give credit to Ryan on hitting all the slurs:  "Trans identifying gurls"? Gurl or Grrl or whatever is a fetish centered cross dresser to me and absolutely sends me into orbit when someone calls me any of those. I have worked hard to educate all those around me that I am not any of them or a drag queen. To each their own but it's bad enough when I see the distasteful fetish guys in drag photos on line.  I can only wonder "what were they thinking?" Is it any surprise when "admirers" come knocking who are looking at me as some motel room babe his wife won't find out about?

Ryan should have aptly included  "she male" term which would have been more appropriate than the other terminology.

Here's the deal, it's just a blatant money grab at our expense. One big clue is where it is being held. The Velvet Rope (formerly Angel’s Social Club), is described as a Southeast Portland club equipped with hot tubs, a “gang bang area,” a dungeon, and private rooms, as well as a social space with pool tables and food. Admission is free for “gurls” but $35.00 dollars for "admirers". A step up from grubby book stores or adult theaters?

Excuse me, I have to go. This is so greasy and disgusting I have to go take three showers to get the dirt off.

A look at my Other Half

I live in Ohio. Middle America USA. Sure it has it's drawbacks and it's strengths.  I'm over 60 and causcasian and transgender.  Many love to hate on me because I supposedly lived male privilege to the max and now I'm trying to change.

Regardless of all of that I do not know how young transgender women of color live. The women whose names all too often show up in the news as the victims of extreme violence. The closest I have come in person was a young trans girl I met in person who was originally from Detroit, migrated to the west coast and in her own words spent some "fun" nights in Los Angeles's "tranny jail". Toss a heroin addiction on top of all of that and here she was standing in front of me...proud as hell. Wow! I was impressed and told her so but then again words are cheap.

Recently Out News & Opinion presented a fantastic look at how my other half lives in an area I know A little about since I lived in the NYC area several years ago:

"Transgender immigrants flock to Jackson Heights in pursuit of a dream. Prostitution, drugs, and violence trap the unwary. Chadwick Moore spent three months with the girls to find out why they still come. Photography by Kevin Amato Arena’s been at it for three years. It’s nearly midnight on a frigid Thursday in January. She looks like someone’s daughter awaiting a ride to the mall, sitting perpendicularly on her twin-size bed with her back against the wall and her size 11 feet dangling over the edge. Her pink sheets are patterned with Betty Boop lip prints. In about four hours Arena will hit the streets, which she hates doing. It’s dangerous and lowly, but no clients have called today. Arena is Spanish for “sand.” Tonight she’s nostalgic. “I was in Indiana when I began the transition with hormones,” she says. The change occurred quickly and caught her off-guard. One afternoon she passed a mirror and became tearful. “I thought, Oh my god, I look just like my mother.” It was the happiest moment of her life. Arena’s V-neck shirt betrays a rash spreading over her torso -- large, red abscesses that look concerning -- but she likes this shirt because it buoys her modest cleavage. And this cleavage is what brought Arena to Queens and funneled her into the sex trade. Once she makes enough money for breast implants, she’s out of here. She’s not built for city life -- she downright hates it. It’s apparent in her hypnotic gentleness. She moves like a shy teenage girl adjusting to a sudden growth spurt. Her face is soft and round, her gaze thoughtful and submissive, and small patches of acne kiss each cheek. Her eyes periodically meet mine, and I wonder how much of her coquettish innocence is calculated."

This is a long post with many pictures and you can visit it here.