Damn I'm Evil!

It turns out that Frump's seemingly endless stream of bigoted nominees has hit my former employer, the U.S. Army. Here is part of the story which was uncovered by the Huffington Post and reported here by the "San Diego Gay and Lesbian News.Com":

"Today, the American Military Partner Association (AMPA), the nation's largest organization of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) military spouses and their families, strongly condemned remarks by President Trump's nominee for Secretary of the Army, Mark Green. In a radio interview last year, Green said he opposes transgender equality because he must "crush evil." 

"Mark Green's comments are outrageous and beyond the pale," said AMPA President Ashley Broadway-Mack. "Our transgender soldiers serve our nation proudly, with integrity and honor. Green clearly has no business leading the men and women of the United States Army, and his appalling attacks against LGBT people are in direct conflict with the core values of the Army. President Trump should immediately withdraw his nomination of Mark Green as Secretary of the Army."

Green's dangerous remarks were uncovered by Amanda Terkel of the Huffington Post, who reported Green "believes that part of his mission as a public official is to “crush evil” ― and that opposing transgender equality policies is key to that effort."

Really?????? Where do they find these guys?????

What People Who Exclude Trans Women from Real Women Should Know

This title comes from a "Huffington Post" article I just read. By Katelyn Burns.  She begins by writing:

"A series of liberal newspapers have printed op-eds by prominent feminists declaring cisgender womanhood to be the real womanhood. What they all miss is how the language declaring “real womanhood” has been a racial and patriarchal oppressive dehumanizing tactic for centuries. It leads me to wonder, why is there a need to declare one thing, one experience, one human life to be “real” at the detriment to all others? "

She goes on to write about "keeping up with the Joneses of womanhood.

How accurate! Plus, it's true we don't have all the resources cis women have and for the great majority of transgender women, we get a late start. And:

"As a transgender woman, my womanhood is constantly questioned. Not only in newspapers, but in comedy specials, by my government, by my elected officials, even by my family"

I also like her (Katelyn) points about freely admitting she does not know all the experiences of a cis-woman or vice versa. It's a shame the whole matter has come down in some people's minds as who has paid the most dues.

This is a very interesting article and I urge you to follow the link above for a thought provoking read.

Kim Davis "Study Time?"

This comes from the Huffington Post  and reflects just a bit of the hypocrisy surrounding Kim Davis's stand on same sex marriage:

"Anti-gay marriage clerk Kim Davis is about to get a rude awakening in her hometown.

Non-profit organization Planting Peace just erected the above billboard in Davis' hometown of Morehead, Kentucky. The message is plain and simple -- if Davis is going to use Biblical rhetoric to justify her opposition to same-sex marriage, she might want to take a closer look at how else marriage has been redefined in relation to the book's sacred teachings.

"The intent of this billboard is to expose how the anti-LGBT movement is selective in what rules to follow and how they choose to define 'traditional' institutions or values," Aaron Jackson, president of Planting Peace, told The Huffington Post. "It's important and relevant to call this out, because the actions of Kim Davis and the messages from the anti-LGBTQ movement are not simply about a political or religious debate. There are LGBT youth across the world who are taking their lives at an alarming rate because of these messages from society that make them feel broken or less than. We have to meet hate with love, intolerance with compassion. Our message to our LGBT youth is simple: You are loved, valued, supported, and beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you, and we will stand by you. You are not alone."

As you may (or may not recall) Davis supposedly spent her (paid) jail time studying her bible. You would think with her $80,000 dollar a year salary, she could afford a real bible and with a job like hers, she could be educated enough to understand it.

Looking back at the first Transgender Playboy Model

From the Huffington Post Gay Voices- plenty of memories!

"Caroline “Tula” Cossey, who became the world's first transgender model to pose for Playboy magazine in 1991, opens up in her first media interview in two decades for the publication.

In the 1970s, the British-born Cossey appeared in issues of Australian Vogue and Harper's Bazaar before landing a role in the 1981 James Bond film, “For Your Eyes Only.” Shortly after the movie's release, however, she was outed as transgender by the tabloid News of the World."

I was always a huge 007 James Bond fan and just couldn't believe there could be a trans woman with enough beauty to "make the cut" and be a Bond Girl. 

Here's more, before I leave you with the link to the entire post:

"Cossey, now 60, eventually walked away from the spotlight and now lives a relatively quiet life in Atlanta. "There’s a difference between being known as Tula the transsexual international model versus just a successful model," she tells Playboy's Shane Michael Singh in the July and August issue of the magazine. "It wasn’t the same. I felt like a circus act.

Link:

Cross Dressers and Wives

In many ways, this is an "equal time" post here in Cyrsti's Condo. It's for all of you who identify as cross dressers.   

Through Tasi Zuriak and an e-mail she passed along- I can pass along (no pun intended) news about a new feature in the Huffington Post. It's written by Terri Lee Ross and called How to Tell Your Wife you are a Cross dresser. Here is an excerpt:

"Conflicted over your cross-dressing habit, you try to make peace with it and quit attempting to figure out why you have this desire to wear woman's clothing. Your therapist says you are normal, so why can't you tell anyone about your desire to dress and let your femme self out for others to see? The one person you want to share your femme self with is your wife, the mother of your children, your best friend and partner in life.

Yet, you don't know how to tell her. You are afraid she will abandon you or look badly on your behavior, thinking it is a sexual fetish that she wants no part of, when dressing is something that you were born with and a part of you that is begging to be exposed.

According to Sister House, a popular site for cross-dressers, about 70% of their audience have expressed that they have told their wives. The other 30% are still hiding in the shadows wanting to come out and share their femme self."

Follow the link for the rest of a great post that I can certainly relate to. Of course my situation was different because I told my wife before we were married. Over the course of a 25 year marriage and before she departed this world-the problem with me was dishonesty.  As I began to come to grips with being transgender, I was dishonest with myself and her.  She always made it very clear if I wanted to live as a woman, that's cool but we would just part as friends. So I tried to have it both ways (or hide it) which didn't work.

Finally, I just have to be a little snarky and point out when you do talk to your spouse-very quickly into the conversation, add in "Relax dear, I'm not like Bruce Jenner."

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Kerplunk! A sunny spring edition of our Sunday Edition has hit your virtual front porch. Let's get our "cup o joe" and get started.
Page One.- The Week that was-or Wasn't:  Here in the Condo, I tried to put together a couple of the main surprises I am realizing currently during my Mtf gender transition. Cutting to the chase for this edition , my biggest surprise is I am so alive, at this age and doing this at all. I never have been really shy about not being quiet when I am right and I was so completely right about all of this. Also this week, I received a call from a dear friend who reminded me none of us have anything without our health. She is entering a very serious but treatable health condition.  Bobbie, may you live longer and prosper more than in all your dreams!
Page Two.- The Jazz Goes ON:  It was announced the 14 year old transgender teen Jazz Jennings will be one of the new faces of Clean & Clear's "See The Real Me" ad campaign, which features a social media push that asks people to use the #See the Real Me hashtag to pass along their stories. Jazz had a big week as in addition to the launch of her Clean & Clear campaign, it was also revealed that she will star in an 11 part TLC series.  Follow this link for the entire story from the Huffington Post. 
As wonderful as it has been to watch a young transgender girl grow into a teen in front of our eyes, can't wait for the day to come when talent over trans equals success!
Page Three.- Some of My Best Friends are Trans?  Just when you read and feel so good about the success of a transgender person such as Jazz Jennings, then come all the stories of bigotry and hate. Of course, on occasion I write about them too. As I transition these days, with my ever expanding presence in the world, I do wonder about a person here and there who may be nice to me to my face. (Even to the point of patronizing me.) Then wonder if those are the very generics who would protest my use of the women's restroom that same night?  Don't know and it could be years of paranoia working on me. At this point in time though, it still seems to me that unless you possess the right amount of "passing privilege" or born into the right family as a trans youth, a long road is still ahead. 
Page Four.- St Patty In Boston.- Finally, we go back to Boston for this story (again) from the Huffington Post:    Boston Pride, an LGBT rights group, said this week organizers had accepted its application to participate in this year's march through the Irish bastion of South Boston.

The rights group will join OutVets, representing gay veterans (and trans vets), in bringing an end to two decades of debate over the issue. Organizers had insisted that homosexuality conflicted with Catholic doctrine, but the ban ran counter to the liberal mores that prevail in Massachusetts, the first state in the nation to legalize same-sex marriage.  Another one bites the dust! And, speaking of "dust", it's time to go outside where we have discovered dirt, dust and other less desirableness as all our snow is gone!  You all have a great week!!! 

Are Transgender Beauties Just Fluff?

Nearly every time I post a picture or story here in Cyrsti's Condo I get a fairly terse and bitter response on how a Trans Activist such as say Janet Mock's ( beautiful example) public exposure has nothing to do with those of us still mocked and/or discriminated against because of our appearance.

It's a good point and one I found addressed in a recent Huffington Post article.  Of course I have my own ideas like I'm sure you do.  First of all, what are your expectations of the feminine role you are transitioning into? This time, lets use Mtf transgender woman Carmen Carerra as an example (left).  Look, I know there is not enough surgery, HRT or wishing in the world I am ever going to look like Carmen. Then again too, I could say the same thing about most all of the generics I know.  As females growing up though, all of them managed to transition to womanhood becoming beauties in their own rights.  What Carmen Carerra did do for me (as well as Janet Mock, Laverne Cox etc.) was scream to the world GENDER is NOT about GENITALS.  Which means to me a huge amount.  It's helped me to carry myself with a little extra confidence as I transition into my womanhood.

In Courtney O'Donnell's post she said it (in part) this way after trans woman Jenna Talackova burst upon the scene:  "In the weeks that followed, the number of people visiting my blog via the keyword "Jenna Talackova" was simply stunning. That keyword outdistanced the previous high by a factor of 3. The people drawn to these pro-transgender blogs were given an opportunity to learn things -- human things -- they may not learn elsewhere."

So, yes we have discussed attitude over appearance in the Condo when it comes to the public and if you don't have a nasty personality to start with-each of us can make a huge statement in small ways. Beautiful or not, I am going to pick the women I mentioned above to be on my team! 

Just one other quick point, make sure to think past your male ego past and look past the pictures or looks and listen!

Oh-Oh! Now What?

Perhaps you have read this story which I am passing along from the Huffington Post and Stephanie Mott:

The recent CBS story regarding nine Swedish women who received uterus transplants undoubtedly caught the attention of transgender women throughout the world. Anyone, with even the slightest awareness of the advancement of medical science, understands that eventually there will be few things left in the realm of impossible. 

The idea that a transgender woman will one day be able to carry a child in her womb is no longer just an idea. It is a reality of the future. Another story in the Dallas Voice is evidence to this fact as Sarah Luiz has positioned herself as a candidate to become the first transgender woman to potentially give birth. Anyone, with even the slightest awareness of society's obsession with sex and gender, understands that the word controversy applies to this situation in the same way the word skirmish applies to World War II.

Of course this story will shake up many of the radical feminists and other hate groups who attack the transgender community.  Then again, the RadFemmes are probably figuring how this is yet another example of the "male privilege" crowd discriminating against genetic women. Just don't bring up the fact these uterine transplants were for genetic women born without a uterus. There has to be a conspiracy "gender invasion" theory somewhere!

Finally, I'm passing along this quality paragraph from Stephanie which ties the whole subject together:


Any controversy that comes from transgender women seeking to experience pregnancy and give birth to children is based on the same ignorant myth that creates controversy about bathrooms and locker rooms - the myth that transgender women are not really women. How absurd is the idea that someone other than me could possibly know who I am? If it were possible for me to be a man, I would have done that long ago. God knows, I tried. As a woman, it is quite expected that I might have the same desires that many other women have. Among those desires is the desire to be a mom; the desire to carry a child. If medical advances offer that possibility to transgender women, it is no different than offering that possibility to cisgender women. 

Follow the link above for more.

A Cyrsti's Condo "Must Read!"

From the HuffPost Gay Voices, comes a must read post by Adrian Acosta called "Why Men Come to Me to be Transformed into Women."

Here's an excerpt:


  There are many things I love about doing makeover transformations. I love my client's faces gleaming with delight as they see their femme selves in the mirror. It's like a child's face on Christmas morning. It's the kind of happiness that is contagious. I love that they are emotionally transported to an alternate universe where they are a beautiful, sensual female: The female inside they have suppressed for years. To tell you the truth, by the time I'm done transforming them, I have a hard time believing that they had been males just a few hours before they arrived in my studio. To me they are a beautiful female standing in front of me; I respect them and treat them as such.

On a deeper level, I love the fact that while out in the world there are men robbing, stealing, raping, killing, etc. -- in my Transformation Studio, it's just me and my client; two men relaxing, having fun, chatting, laughing, creating sensual art. Imagine how peaceful and fun the world would be if more men allowed themselves to get a Boy-to-Girl Transformation, to literally walk in women's shoes?

Truthfully, as I started to read the post, I was thinking snarky/bitchy thoughts like is Adrian some sort of SRS God? Can change he men into women with magic makeup? Or, am I going to read yet another "drag centric" post from a cis gay man who has no idea what my transgender world is like?  I was pleasantly surprised and I think you will be too because Adrian covered much of what I didn't expect to read- and more.

I did wonder though, if more than a few of his clients developed a taste for feminine finery from school day "womanless pageants" or even fraternity "hazing" shows. Plus, if just for a second, you can enter the world of an attractive or beautiful woman, what a powerful elixir it can be!

Go here for more!

Tossing the "T"

Many different directions I can go with this. Maybe "testosterone", or how about "tranny"?

I have written many times here in Cyrsti's Condo how I feel about the use of the gender slur.  If you have ever read any of Parker Molloy's posts, you know she writes well and with authority  Recently, she wrote on the subject of gender slurs, primarily from the privileged group with the TGLB culture- gay cisgender males.

Here are a couple excerpts from Molloy's post:

"A common argument in favor of using "tranny" is, "But that word is just part of drag culture!" Here's my rebuttal: I don't care. "Drag culture" or not, that's not a word that's appropriate to throw around. It's a hateful slur that is often the last thing that trans women hear before being beaten or murdered. Just as it wouldn't be acceptable for me to go around using the word "f*ggot," as I'm not a gay man, it's inappropriate for gay men and male-identified drag queens to use "tranny."

and:


(In The Huffington Post) " Joe Hutcheson blogged about his evolution toward accepting the use of female pronouns and terminology -- "she," "her," and "girl" -- for male-identified gay people. That's cute and all, but some folks actually care about pronouns. If someone is going to call me "she," "her," or "girl," I want it to be because that person, you know, sees me as a woman, not because they're just so super-sassy that they say, "Pronouns and identification be damned. I'm calling you 'girl' because, um, fierce!" Do whatever you want, gay dudes, just stop doing things that harm trans people in the process. Can you manage that? It's bad enough that while trans people still struggle to use the restroom without legal repercussions, we're expected to sit quietly as marriage rights take the bulk of money donated to LGBT (more like GLb...[t]) organizations. We shouldn't have to worry about whether or not you're going to stab us in the back with words too.

 In conclusion, don't say "tranny." Just don't. It doesn't matter if you do drag, or if "it's not meant as a slur." If you are a cisgender gay man, that is not your word to use."

There is much more to read of course and you can go here to the Huffington Post to check it out.

As a side note, this happened to me several months ago when I was in a rather small local gay venue I go to every now and then:
The performing drag queens pretty much are the same and in fact one of them is a co owner of the place.  They kind of get aggravated when I really don't watch the shows often. (Seen one drag show-seen them all.) When they were taking a break between sets, one of the drag queens came by and said "glad you could get out tonight."  In my part of the world that's commonly referred to as "glad you could get all dolled up and way from your "drab" (guy) world tonight." I quickly told the queen and the bartender that I didn't have to get anywhere tonight and I live my life this way. What was I wearing? My favorite "boyfriend" jeans flip flops and a frilly tank top. It wasn't like I was doing drag. The queen was quick to stereotype me though and a chance for me to tersely lay some trans education on them. 

Young, Transgender and Together!

Louis (left) and Jamie

Young transgender couples have been in the news these days. The latest couple, a transgender woman and a transgender man are from Wales.

Louis Davies and Jamie Eagle are engaged and are waiting for gender reassignment surgery to be married.
The couple met when Louis invited Jamie to give a talk to his university group as he prepared to come out as transgender.


Then of course back on this side of the pond,  The simply adorable couple of Arin Andrews and Katie Hill are still gaining good press for the right reasons:


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A Good Read

It's worth a "hop, skip and an Internet jump over to the Huffington Post. Check out  this post from Stephanie Mott: "Are you a Boy?"

Life Lessons for Women

The more you go playing around in the girls sandbox as a transgender woman,  the more you will learn how different the process is- outside of the evident examples.

Here is another look called "Life Lessons for Women, 9 Things it Took me Way Too Long To Learn" from the Huffington Post.

Here is #.8:  "If You Think, "I Really Shouldn't Do This, But… ," Stop Immediately At "But." Everything I have done after "but" has been a huge glaring mistake. Shooting off an angry response to a friend after she sent me a thoughtless email. Jumping off a stool while pregnant. Eating the whole weird shriveled-up black pepper in the take-out Chinese Magic 7 Vegetables dish. Pouring water on my husband's head even after knowing better (as articulated in rule 1). "But…" is the car alarm designed by the human mind to stop you at the point of stupidity. Ignore it at your peril."

If you want to look at the other eight, go here. Thanks also to Julia Bravo!

Coming Out to Yourself

What do all of these comments have in common with me?

"Just what we need, another old guy on hormones."
"If you waited until you were 60 to start transitioning, you are not a real transgender person."
"Isn't it too late in life to transition?"



What they have in common is all of them have been messaged to me here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Everyonce in a while, I find a very well presented answer:

"Realization that one is trans can take anywhere from a few moments to several decades. Usually, trans people have an inkling early on in their lives that their assigned gender feels out of sync with their bodies. The self-realization process is extremely complicated. The human mind does its best to help us survive, which can translate into triggering intense denial. Because of societal constraints, it is common for a person to try to ignore signs pointing toward transgenderism, whether consciously or unconsciously."

This is only one of several enlightening, educational thoughts on transgender women and men from a Huffington Post article here

Not so incidentally, the page also includes this link

to Outserve Magazine and a chance meeting between a transgender vet and  President Obama.

More Pejic

From the Huffington Post Stylelist comes an interesting Q&A with super model Andrej Pejic.

Of particular interest to me was the question of SRS:
    You were once quoted as saying that you would have a sex change for Victoria's Secret, do you still stand by that? "(Laughs) Yes I do. Definitely. In all seriousness, though, is a sex change operation something you plan on doing in the future? I like to keep all options open, but I like to think that is a personal thing. I don't talk about that very much.

   Also the subject of being added to a list of the world's sexiest women:

    Another recent controversy was when FHM listed you as number 98 on its "100 Sexiest Women In The World" story. They subsequently removed you from the list and issued an apology.
" I found it as flattering as any woman would. It's great, but I never thought that I would become a sex symbol. To be seen like that is exploring another type of beauty, being accepting and breaking a boundary."

Follow the link above for more!

No Surprise...

Julie Ross has had the courage, conviction and compassion to step and out to discuss her own transgender child.
Of course she has been vilified as well as praised for the decision. Note the use of the word vilification. Not the criticism word. Big difference-no surprise.
Just take a look at the trans community for examples!
I felt it for the first time on one of the big transgender transsexual social sites when I tried to write about my own experiences. I learned my lesson early but I still am stunned on occasion by comments I get here.
Examples?
I have been trashed for waiting so long in life to transition, having a prom date as a guy all the way to having any fond memories of my male life.  Plus, I left the best for last-I'm not worthy to lead a feminine life at all because I don't have a store bought vagina.
No chance for discussion or questions just bitterness and even almost hate-all right here in our so called trans sisterhood.
So I can sympathize with Julie's thoughts:

"Over the past several months I have been venturesome (or perhaps stupid?) enough to publicly share my interpretation and personal feelings from my front row seat as the parent of a child who has identified as transgender. (You can find them here on HuffPost... they may be helpful in grasping the back story.) I have been equally supported and vilified by readers far and wide. I have been told that I am an "incredible parent" only to be corrected by a different reader that I am actually a horrible parent and that G-d does not make mistakes, just I do. Compliments for my honesty and style of writing are usurped by bashing for "rambling" and being a "horrible writer." I have been called "wonderful" and "self-centered" in the same thread written (sometimes viciously) from the comfort of computers around the world that I will neither find nor seek to find. And it all makes me wonder."

From the comfort of my computer - Julie Ross has done wonders by stepping up and out for present and future transgender transsexual kids everywhere.  Way to GO!!!!!
For more go here.

Transgender Youth Fighting for her Future

A headmaster tried to ban a transgender schoolboy from sitting an exam dressed in girls' uniform - until the pupil slammed a copy of the Equality Act on his desk.
Ashlyn Parram, 16, wore girl's tights, a skirt and blazer to her first GCSE exam but was told she could not sit the paper, because she was not in correct uniform.
Incredibly, the furious teen had printed off a copy of the law governing discrimination in Britain and marched straight to head teacher Chris Wall's office for a showdown.
More from the "Huffington Post"

"Ashlyn pointed out the law to the gobsmacked head - a former Olympic diver - who then admitted he could not stop her taking the test.
But when Ashlyn reached the exam room she was forced to sit apart from the other pupils on the other side of the sports hall - in segregation.
The year 11 has openly lived as a girl at home for two years but has sensitively toned down her appearance at Giles Academy, Boston, Lincolnshire to avoid abuse.
Her mum Miranda Johnson on Monday publicly backed her gutsy daughter, who has officially been diagnosed with gender dysphoria.
The family have lodged a formal complaint against Mr Walls, who they claim has failed to help protect Ashlyn - one of the youngest in Britain to begin sex-change treatment on the NHS.

Ashlyn and Mom (right)

They claim Ashlyn has been forced to ensure a string of bullying and discrimination by pupils - and even teachers.
Shockingly, during a series of meetings with school bosses to address failings alleged by Ashlyn's parents one senior teacher even told them gender dysphoria doesn't exist. The teacher said: "This is Lincolnshire - we are a very conservative county - we don't have things like that."




Really???? Follow the link for more!