Pride Photo from past with Ohio River. From the Jessie Hart Collection |
Recently on the day that Pride began, I guess it was fitting one of my long ago male friends found out the changes I have gone through.
I wasn't there to witness how he learned my name had changed and I was living as a woman a distance away in Cincinnati, Ohio. What happened was my daughter and first wife were attending a funeral for my friend's nephew. After the ceremony my friend from way back in my high school and Army days asked innocently enough how (my dead name) was doing. Keep in mind I haven't seen or heard from him in nearly forty plus years. He served some very difficult duty in Vietnam and for all intents and purposes became a hermit.
Amazingly, after he asked my ex wife about me by my old dead name, she said "Who?" By this time my very supportive daughter was listening intently. The next thing that happened was my ex wife told him the whole truth concerning my gender transition to which he seemed to be very confused according to my daughter. I'm a little surprised he was confused with the transgender concept because he has another nephew who is a transgender man. Perhaps it was because when he knew me I was in a macho overdrive attempting to cover up any feminine tendencies I may have had. Except when I went to one Halloween party with him and his soon to be wife dressed as my attempt as a sexy woman. I guess I was too good at hiding I was macho through my feminine outfit I was enjoying so much.
The biggest surprise I had from the entire episode of coming out with someone I hadn't seen for decades came from my wife Liz. Once I told her what happened, she asked if I was mad at or disappointed with how my ex wife handled the whole thing. I immediately said no. Most certainly I don't care if any of the very rare individuals from my past know I am now living as a transgender woman. In fact, I can't remember anyone I haven't told if I had any contact with them at all. As I always have said, I had such a small circle of male friends it is easy to remember any I never told my deep dark secret. In fact I never had to because nearly all of my old male friends passed away before I transitioned to a fulltime transgender woman. It seemed though, one previous friend I hadn't even considered slipped through the cracks.
I also think if he had been paying attention, I was/am not the only transgender person in his immediate family or previous acquaintances. As I previously written, he has a nephew who is trans as well as my daughter's child who is trans also. Since it has been decades since I have seen him I have no idea of how he is reacting.
Positively I hope.