This morning I came across a couple stories which counter balanced the ignorance, hate and even violence we sustain as transgender women and men.
The first comes from a top women's site in Australia called Daily Life called "Transitioning our son to a daughter."
The three on the left, Roland, Maddi and Maddi’s mother Beck were guests on SBS's One's Insight program which looked at the increase of young people presenting as transgender. Insight speaks with children and their families, asking how parents can be sure whether their child is transgender and how they chose to deal with it. As we know, in most cases it is not the other kids who provide problems for their transgender peers, it is the parents who cause the friction. The more parents who have an understanding of trans kids, the better!
In the UK, a transgender city councilor turned down a spot on the British version of the TV "reality" show Big Brother, for all the right reasons:
From the The Cambridge News:
A Councillor has turned down the chance to appear on reality television show Big Brother – arguing it would not help her campaign for gender equality.
Cllr Sarah Brown (left), who represents Petersfield on Cambridge City Council, is the UK’s only ‘out’ transgender politician and was approached by a casting agency to see if she wanted to appear on the Channel 5 game show.
But the Liberal Democrat, the council’s executive member community wellbeing, said she didn’t think it would have been good for her, the transgender community or the people of Cambridge.
She told the News: “I didn’t think it would be good way to address trans issues.
And finally, out and out COURAGE: Marsha Bast (below) the Russian transgender attorney who has announced her bid for the Russian presidency in 2018.
Somehow all of this makes the day so much brighter!
Showing posts with label transitioning male to female. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transitioning male to female. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
One Year= Amazing Changes
I'm amazed, after all this time checking out the seeming thousands of MTF transition videos on YouTube, I'm still fascinated with the changes. Here is another on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen of a young transgender woman. She reminds me of the young woman in her LBD (little black dress) we saw in the restaurant the other night shooting a "selfie" of her legs.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Waxing Romantic
Ever been waxed? The bit of torture designed to make that pesky body hair go away and leave you with soft smooth skin?
Had my first waxing tonight. Hey, what could be more fun than staying home on a Saturday night and getting waxed watching tattoo reality shows? When in pain, watch someone in more pain, right? Plus, some would argue I got waxed on Abita Turbo Dog Beer last night and I'm way too old to double up on party nights anymore.
If you never have been "waxed" seriously I compare it to a sunburn and I love the results. It's safe to tell you though, I don't have much body hair anymore and I know "mo hair" equals "mo pain" - a formula I learned sleeping through high school calculus. Kidding, I barely got through algebra, by barely staying awake.
Not to be outdone by my arms, for some reason, my girls had to get in the act tonight. For some reason, they are very sensitive tonight. Almost too sensitive. Of course I have dealt with sensitivity with the girls since starting HRT but nothing like tonight. Either, it's my time of the month or I passed some sort of hormonal level again.
All in all though, if I had a choice, Abita is my pick for a good waxing.
Had my first waxing tonight. Hey, what could be more fun than staying home on a Saturday night and getting waxed watching tattoo reality shows? When in pain, watch someone in more pain, right? Plus, some would argue I got waxed on Abita Turbo Dog Beer last night and I'm way too old to double up on party nights anymore.
If you never have been "waxed" seriously I compare it to a sunburn and I love the results. It's safe to tell you though, I don't have much body hair anymore and I know "mo hair" equals "mo pain" - a formula I learned sleeping through high school calculus. Kidding, I barely got through algebra, by barely staying awake.
Not to be outdone by my arms, for some reason, my girls had to get in the act tonight. For some reason, they are very sensitive tonight. Almost too sensitive. Of course I have dealt with sensitivity with the girls since starting HRT but nothing like tonight. Either, it's my time of the month or I passed some sort of hormonal level again.
All in all though, if I had a choice, Abita is my pick for a good waxing.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Liz's Post
Recently I read a post from a fairly populated blog when the transsexual author wrote something to the point that cross dressers have the best of both worlds. I thought immediately the comment was simply the work of yet another elitist transsexual and then began to wonder if someone would blitz me with the same. As of yet no one has. My simple answer is "I don't have the best of both worlds, I earned the right to exist in them."
Here in the "Condo" we received several responses to the post Now You See Me, Now You Don't including this one from Pat:
You are spot on in noting that the male presentation is more convenient. Just the simple act of going to the end of the driveway to get the mail demonstrates the ease of male presentation as opposed to the needs for a proper female presentation. It does seem like you have a wonderful relationship with your girlfriend. Does she read this blog?
Pat, YES! Liz, my gf or partner does read the blog so I really have to be careful about what I write! (Just kidding!) Our relationship is much more than I could ever imagine finding at this juncture of my life. As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo, she only sees the female side of me, no matter what my exterior says. At times she is a mentor of sorts when I need in depth feminine instruction but more importantly she has helped me to believe in myself. I never really lacked for male confidence but had very little self esteem as a trans woman-until Liz. It's important to point out Liz met me very early into my serious transition years, so she had a chance to run like hell.
Why me, why now and why her is a big question. I never have been a believer in luck per se. Success in anything to me ends up falling in the lap of those who are persistent enough to be in the right place at the right time. Plus, I'm a firm believer in positive karma and I was attracted to Liz's interest in organic spirituality. My term, hers is, she is a Wiccan.
Why now? It's her fault! We were both on a dating site, lived close together and she contacted me. It wasn't easy, at one point in time I was on about four different social dating/networking sites and after many months and mega idiots, I found Liz and another very close friend. It's hard to believe it was three years ago.
Why her? I touched on her spirituality a bit earlier. Her religion I think gives her a basis for an understanding of a transgender person-not unlike the certain ancient Native American cultures who accepted "Dual Spirited" gender people. To mention her faith only, is a real insult to her because she is a very multi faceted person. She is so much more and so am I. Similar to a huge puzzle, we have so many pieces to put together. I just hope I live long enough to see it happen.
Also, Liz shares a vision of me which is the same as mine. She is an artist of sorts and now she has a very human subject to work with- in transition. I just read today HRT takes three years to really sink in and I have a way to go.
Finally, to give you all an idea of how tough it is to me around me for any length of time, I'm a bi polar, dyslexic, hyper active person who happens to be transgender.
So at about now, Liz has read this and has opened a bottle of wine and is trying to figure out just what the hell she got herself into!
Thanks for the question, Pat!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Transition Days
I place this video is the B+ category of examples of quality mtf transition videos. Check it out on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:
Saturday, January 25, 2014
A Natural?
I have followed Melissa Carmen's videos on YouTube for a while and have shown her here in Cyrsti's Condo. Follow her story though and even the path of a "natural" is far from easy.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
We Are Everywhere
Like many other folks, I have a tendency to think transgender women and men come from bigger urban areas. Plus I think many of us tend to focus on the too "amazing" before and after MtF transitions, rather than noticing how far the person had to go on their gender transition journey. This video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen is a little of both:
Monday, January 13, 2014
The Hormones and the Hair
Back in the day here in Crysti's Condo, you may have recalled my first prescribing HRT doctor telling me to expect a fuller, longer head of hair. Being similar to most (I assume), I just thought, "Yeah, that's cool, but let's get on to the real priority - breast development." Now that my hair is reaching the middle point of my back, I'm not so sure my priorities were reversed.
To begin with, I believe as sensitive and feminine as my "girls" are, my hair has become a true treasure for me. As big as a pain in the rear it is for me to color it and try to style it, my hair gives me a huge step forward in my feminine presentation process. As one of my initial "admirers" (another pain) told me on one of the first nights I went out with no wig, "Look at you, sitting over here looking all natural." He was one of those who delighted in calling me "Chris" and saying things like "hey man." From that point forward, he left me alone.
I know there are many very realistic wigs on the market but for me I could never afford them, or had very poor judgment in which wig I purchased. So when I did go "natural", three doors opened for me, which were hoped for but not necessarily expected.
The first I mentioned. I just navigate the world as a transgender woman easier. I need every tool I can get and a full head of hair is an effective one. The second and third are intertwined to a degree. The so called straight admirer (or whatever he was) jumped off my boat immediately as do gay men and drag queens. All of them realized I wasn't a cross dresser. Before you want to rip my hair out, I'm not in any way being derogatory. We all know there is a difference between being a cross dresser and being transgender and the public all of the sudden read it in me.
Perhaps the whole theory of why goes back to the Janie Black question on defining gender. One of the responses was (I'm paraphrasing), "Gender is more in the eyes of the beholder, than in the person themself."
Very simply, what's going on in my noggin hasn't changed as much as the world which is viewing me.
To begin with, I believe as sensitive and feminine as my "girls" are, my hair has become a true treasure for me. As big as a pain in the rear it is for me to color it and try to style it, my hair gives me a huge step forward in my feminine presentation process. As one of my initial "admirers" (another pain) told me on one of the first nights I went out with no wig, "Look at you, sitting over here looking all natural." He was one of those who delighted in calling me "Chris" and saying things like "hey man." From that point forward, he left me alone.
I know there are many very realistic wigs on the market but for me I could never afford them, or had very poor judgment in which wig I purchased. So when I did go "natural", three doors opened for me, which were hoped for but not necessarily expected.
The first I mentioned. I just navigate the world as a transgender woman easier. I need every tool I can get and a full head of hair is an effective one. The second and third are intertwined to a degree. The so called straight admirer (or whatever he was) jumped off my boat immediately as do gay men and drag queens. All of them realized I wasn't a cross dresser. Before you want to rip my hair out, I'm not in any way being derogatory. We all know there is a difference between being a cross dresser and being transgender and the public all of the sudden read it in me.
Perhaps the whole theory of why goes back to the Janie Black question on defining gender. One of the responses was (I'm paraphrasing), "Gender is more in the eyes of the beholder, than in the person themself."
Very simply, what's going on in my noggin hasn't changed as much as the world which is viewing me.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
The Purse Monster and Muscle Memory
This will seem like such a small piece in the huge transgender MtF transition puzzle but then again it's not.
For many years I have noticed with interest how women approach moving and grasping items with their hands. Regardless of the inherent size difference in the hands, most genetic women just seemed to have more dexterity working for them.
Now, as I work my way through counters and clerks with my purse and it's wallet, I find I need more coordination to accomplish all the moves. Gone are the days of picking up the change and shoving it into my pockets and moving on. Plus, just tossing everything into my purse doesn't work either. If I don't keep some sort of basic organization going in my purse, then I am doomed to carry a stylish yet deadly "bottomless bag." You know the purses I'm talking about. If you have lived around a woman for any length of time, the "changing of the bags" is often not pretty. No one knows what is living down there and how the hell did the purse get that heavy? Things were breeding similar to how life began on Earth.
As I transition into more and more full time "purse living", I know now. I'm developing the "layers" of "stuff" women accumulate over time. It's comparable to an archaeological dig when you uncover that old lipstick you loved and couldn't find. It disappeared into the bottom layer of my purse and was waiting patiently to see the light of day again. Forget the "boob pinch" pain I felt a couple nights ago, the real pain could be lurking in the bottom of my purse and will it attack with no warning?
Look, the last thing I want to be doing is holding up a line at a counter while I dig through my purse, get attacked and lose a finger. People do have a tendency to care less if I am transgender in line but care a lot if I'm slow. Just imagine if they had to call the paramedics to reattach my finger? How would the peeps behind me buy their "cigs" or lottery tickets?
I have a plan though to combat all of this, I call my new "dexterity" a slide move. At the counter, I know the basics of what I'm paying with, what kind of change or receipt I am going to get and where it's coming from and going in my purse. The smoother I can accomplish all of that, the more feminine I appear or at the least fit in.
In order to insure success though is repetition and committing the moves into my muscle memory. Now if I can keep my purse from sliding off my shoulder at the wrong time and messing up the entire process- life will be better! "Sigh" Who would have thunk it that all this "girl stuff" would have been so complex! Women make it look so easy and they still have all their fingers. It's because Mom warned them to beware of what could be lurking in their purses!
For many years I have noticed with interest how women approach moving and grasping items with their hands. Regardless of the inherent size difference in the hands, most genetic women just seemed to have more dexterity working for them.
Now, as I work my way through counters and clerks with my purse and it's wallet, I find I need more coordination to accomplish all the moves. Gone are the days of picking up the change and shoving it into my pockets and moving on. Plus, just tossing everything into my purse doesn't work either. If I don't keep some sort of basic organization going in my purse, then I am doomed to carry a stylish yet deadly "bottomless bag." You know the purses I'm talking about. If you have lived around a woman for any length of time, the "changing of the bags" is often not pretty. No one knows what is living down there and how the hell did the purse get that heavy? Things were breeding similar to how life began on Earth.
As I transition into more and more full time "purse living", I know now. I'm developing the "layers" of "stuff" women accumulate over time. It's comparable to an archaeological dig when you uncover that old lipstick you loved and couldn't find. It disappeared into the bottom layer of my purse and was waiting patiently to see the light of day again. Forget the "boob pinch" pain I felt a couple nights ago, the real pain could be lurking in the bottom of my purse and will it attack with no warning?
Look, the last thing I want to be doing is holding up a line at a counter while I dig through my purse, get attacked and lose a finger. People do have a tendency to care less if I am transgender in line but care a lot if I'm slow. Just imagine if they had to call the paramedics to reattach my finger? How would the peeps behind me buy their "cigs" or lottery tickets?
I have a plan though to combat all of this, I call my new "dexterity" a slide move. At the counter, I know the basics of what I'm paying with, what kind of change or receipt I am going to get and where it's coming from and going in my purse. The smoother I can accomplish all of that, the more feminine I appear or at the least fit in.
In order to insure success though is repetition and committing the moves into my muscle memory. Now if I can keep my purse from sliding off my shoulder at the wrong time and messing up the entire process- life will be better! "Sigh" Who would have thunk it that all this "girl stuff" would have been so complex! Women make it look so easy and they still have all their fingers. It's because Mom warned them to beware of what could be lurking in their purses!
Monday, January 6, 2014
"Hurry up! - and Wait!"
Those of you Cyrsti's Condo readers who may have had previous military experience, may recognize the title of this post. On more occasions I can count, we hurried to be at an assigned point in the Army at an appointed time, only to wait and wait and wait. In many ways, my HRT journey has been the same.
In the beginning, changes begin quickly and I began to wonder if the process was happening too easily. Perhaps my body was predetermined to make this step all along. Reality soon set in though. Changes did slow for a couple reasons, due to obtaining my dosages and medications.
Now I'm getting mixed signals. If you recall my posts before the end of the year, I very much thought I had "hit the wall" with my bodily changes. Of course my hair was still rocking but I felt as if my breasts and hips were not keeping up their end of the bargain. All of the sudden I was feeling frustrated. I waited so long to begin HRT, hurried into the initial changes and now I'm waiting again.
The problem is, I have never been a patient person. Nothing is good enough over the long term, including my feminization progress. It's also extremely hard to judge daily changes in myself, the first thing I do in the morning is not measure my breasts. I need to just forget about the process and let it happen.
Some would argue there is more than a little change in one's emotional make up during HRT. I don't doubt I do feel more emotional about everything, including staying positive about many things. Why aren't my breasts bigger or my hips more feminine, etc.
This past couple of days though, I think I may have been over reacting. All of the sudden, I'm noticing a little more "bounce to the breast" and jiggle to the hips. Now, I'm fairly sure I was totally over reacting. I know going through HRT at (64) with my body style can only achieve so much.
It's time to calm down, hurry up and wait for more!
In the beginning, changes begin quickly and I began to wonder if the process was happening too easily. Perhaps my body was predetermined to make this step all along. Reality soon set in though. Changes did slow for a couple reasons, due to obtaining my dosages and medications.
Now I'm getting mixed signals. If you recall my posts before the end of the year, I very much thought I had "hit the wall" with my bodily changes. Of course my hair was still rocking but I felt as if my breasts and hips were not keeping up their end of the bargain. All of the sudden I was feeling frustrated. I waited so long to begin HRT, hurried into the initial changes and now I'm waiting again.
The problem is, I have never been a patient person. Nothing is good enough over the long term, including my feminization progress. It's also extremely hard to judge daily changes in myself, the first thing I do in the morning is not measure my breasts. I need to just forget about the process and let it happen.
Some would argue there is more than a little change in one's emotional make up during HRT. I don't doubt I do feel more emotional about everything, including staying positive about many things. Why aren't my breasts bigger or my hips more feminine, etc.
This past couple of days though, I think I may have been over reacting. All of the sudden, I'm noticing a little more "bounce to the breast" and jiggle to the hips. Now, I'm fairly sure I was totally over reacting. I know going through HRT at (64) with my body style can only achieve so much.
It's time to calm down, hurry up and wait for more!
Friday, January 3, 2014
It's Never Too Late
I happened upon a post by another transgender woman who is transitioning later in life and living to write about it! (Just kidding!)
It's called "When to say Yes to the Dress" by Courtney Bedell on the Baltimore Gay Life site.
Courtney's story is similar to many of us. She met the same resistance, harbored the same inner turmoil and ultimately reached the points we are now in life. Not so surprisingly in the transgender culture, we are called "pretenders" because we waited so long to transition.
Six year old Coy Mathis was used by Courtney as an example of a "no doubter" transgender child who just knew she wasn't a boy. Coy of course also benefitted immensely from a family who has battled for their daughter's right to be herself. I'm guessing, immensely rare for anyone of my age.
Here's an excerpt from more of the post:
By 12 I felt strongly that I was a girl but unlike Coy, I couldn’t talk about it to my parents, or anyone else. I did what most TGs did 20 or 30 years ago: deny, deny, deny! At 12 I was wearing my older sister’s dresses and using her make-up, but not in public. Despite my having plenty of friends adolescence was a lonely and devastating time for me. I could only be myself when I was alone so I often hooked school to spend the day in a dress curling my hair and putting on make-up.
Nobody ever saw me looking pretty—ask any teenage girl if that isn’t a version of hell! I wanted to tell my mom but I just couldn’t find the words. Even when she might have picked up on the clues she didn’t open the subject. When I saw a psychiatrist at my parent’s behest it took me two years to tell him I was convinced that I was a girl and had XX female chromosomes. Naturally, he thought I was simply gay or a cross-dresser. I continued to live two separate lives for another 20 unhappy years.
Sounds familiar, right? Here's more:
So, the answer to “when do you say yes to the dress?” is simply, as soon as possible! From my own experience, I say do yourself a huge favor and don’t waste half your life denying your true essence! Don’t endure decades of pain and loneliness waiting for the ideal time to change. We often wait until the situation becomes severe enough to outweigh our fear of the potential upheaval our transition will cause. It doesn’t have to be that way if we approach it preemptively before our lives become unbearable or unmanageable.
See a gender therapist, go to a support group (Tranquility at GLCCB), search your feelings, explore your options, sort it all out and learn what action is best for you. You may decide it is time to transition or you may discover transition is not right for you—the key word here is “discovery.”
Follow the link above for more!
It's called "When to say Yes to the Dress" by Courtney Bedell on the Baltimore Gay Life site.
Courtney's story is similar to many of us. She met the same resistance, harbored the same inner turmoil and ultimately reached the points we are now in life. Not so surprisingly in the transgender culture, we are called "pretenders" because we waited so long to transition.
Six year old Coy Mathis was used by Courtney as an example of a "no doubter" transgender child who just knew she wasn't a boy. Coy of course also benefitted immensely from a family who has battled for their daughter's right to be herself. I'm guessing, immensely rare for anyone of my age.
Here's an excerpt from more of the post:
By 12 I felt strongly that I was a girl but unlike Coy, I couldn’t talk about it to my parents, or anyone else. I did what most TGs did 20 or 30 years ago: deny, deny, deny! At 12 I was wearing my older sister’s dresses and using her make-up, but not in public. Despite my having plenty of friends adolescence was a lonely and devastating time for me. I could only be myself when I was alone so I often hooked school to spend the day in a dress curling my hair and putting on make-up.
Nobody ever saw me looking pretty—ask any teenage girl if that isn’t a version of hell! I wanted to tell my mom but I just couldn’t find the words. Even when she might have picked up on the clues she didn’t open the subject. When I saw a psychiatrist at my parent’s behest it took me two years to tell him I was convinced that I was a girl and had XX female chromosomes. Naturally, he thought I was simply gay or a cross-dresser. I continued to live two separate lives for another 20 unhappy years.
Sounds familiar, right? Here's more:
So, the answer to “when do you say yes to the dress?” is simply, as soon as possible! From my own experience, I say do yourself a huge favor and don’t waste half your life denying your true essence! Don’t endure decades of pain and loneliness waiting for the ideal time to change. We often wait until the situation becomes severe enough to outweigh our fear of the potential upheaval our transition will cause. It doesn’t have to be that way if we approach it preemptively before our lives become unbearable or unmanageable.
See a gender therapist, go to a support group (Tranquility at GLCCB), search your feelings, explore your options, sort it all out and learn what action is best for you. You may decide it is time to transition or you may discover transition is not right for you—the key word here is “discovery.”
Follow the link above for more!
Stop the Damn Bitching Already!
I believe I have whined, complained and yes, even bitched about how HRT has destroyed the thermostat in my body here in the Condo. Go ahead and say it, "no one twisted your arm to start HRT Cyrsti, so get the hell over it."
I accept all of that except - after a brief respite from the minus teens wind chills we are having here in my part of Ohio, we are expecting temps to go to 20 year lows next week. Really?
I have a confession to make: Cyrsti's Condo does not over look the mountains and the beach in the tropics but is in a circa 1860's drafty big brick building in Ohio. Our weather extremes though, do make you appreciative when Momma Nature throws you a bone and the temp rises to 50 in January - summertime.
To combat the cold though, I'm heading south again- to Cincinnati where the outside temp will be nearly as cold but the inside temp will be toasty with the help of a "B.A.F" - a big ass fireplace. Sorry about all the cussing in this Cyrsti's Condo post but this cold weather just gets me in this mood.
Setting aside all my whining, there are benefits to facing up to this cold "thang" as a girl. First of all, you are allowed to be cold by other women and men. Secondly, you can stylishly "layer" yourself up to stay warm and look good too. My best purchase of the season so far were my fur lined snow boots which fit over my hand knitted wool knee socks for warm "tootsies". Of course my "imagined" overstock of sweaters, leggings and scarves all of the sudden isn't so overstocked at all!
It's too bad that "karma", "cold" and "cussing" all don't begin with a "C". If they did, I could come up with some sort of inspired thought of why Karma was getting even with me for making fun of women all those years for being cold.
How about, I just can't or I give up Momma Karma, I'm sorry! You were right and you win!
I accept all of that except - after a brief respite from the minus teens wind chills we are having here in my part of Ohio, we are expecting temps to go to 20 year lows next week. Really?
I have a confession to make: Cyrsti's Condo does not over look the mountains and the beach in the tropics but is in a circa 1860's drafty big brick building in Ohio. Our weather extremes though, do make you appreciative when Momma Nature throws you a bone and the temp rises to 50 in January - summertime.
To combat the cold though, I'm heading south again- to Cincinnati where the outside temp will be nearly as cold but the inside temp will be toasty with the help of a "B.A.F" - a big ass fireplace. Sorry about all the cussing in this Cyrsti's Condo post but this cold weather just gets me in this mood.
Setting aside all my whining, there are benefits to facing up to this cold "thang" as a girl. First of all, you are allowed to be cold by other women and men. Secondly, you can stylishly "layer" yourself up to stay warm and look good too. My best purchase of the season so far were my fur lined snow boots which fit over my hand knitted wool knee socks for warm "tootsies". Of course my "imagined" overstock of sweaters, leggings and scarves all of the sudden isn't so overstocked at all!
It's too bad that "karma", "cold" and "cussing" all don't begin with a "C". If they did, I could come up with some sort of inspired thought of why Karma was getting even with me for making fun of women all those years for being cold.
How about, I just can't or I give up Momma Karma, I'm sorry! You were right and you win!
Cyrsti's Condo "Trans Woman of the Day."
A week or so ago we mentioned a "surprise" transgender beauty's appearance on Project Runway All Stars. The show brought together a group of popular/established fashion bloggers from around the world and Gigi's Gorgeous New's Network blog made the cut!
During the show, Gigi proved she was much more than a pretty face as she owned the runway to the delight I'm sure, to transgender women around the world.
I have followed her YouTube videos for quite awhile and was particularly impressed when she came out as transgender and the work she has done which included her sister. (Thanks to many of you who pointed her video's out too!!! You are the best!)
In the -10(F) degree weather around the Condo, Gigi's work is certainly a thawing influence. She is just another example of how bright the future can be for transgender men and women everywhere.
Of course you can follow the link above to her Blog.
During the show, Gigi proved she was much more than a pretty face as she owned the runway to the delight I'm sure, to transgender women around the world.
I have followed her YouTube videos for quite awhile and was particularly impressed when she came out as transgender and the work she has done which included her sister. (Thanks to many of you who pointed her video's out too!!! You are the best!)
In the -10(F) degree weather around the Condo, Gigi's work is certainly a thawing influence. She is just another example of how bright the future can be for transgender men and women everywhere.
Of course you can follow the link above to her Blog.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
New Years Fashion Police
I have actually had a couple of you "Condo-ites" ask what Liz and I wore on New Years Eve.
She out "pizazzed" me with a multi colored silky tunic top which draped over her thighs with leggings. She also started out with a modest pair of heels for the short walks we were under taking but we went back to the hotel and she changed to a pair of metallic flats quickly. I wasn't have anything to do with heels as always!
I went with my 3/4 length patterned black blouse/top, black leggings and slouch boots. We weren't going anywhere too fancy, unlike last year, so comfort trumped "glam" this year. On the other hand, our nails were polished, our makeup was top notch and a great time was had by all!
As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo in the past, the mirror I worship the most is the public eye. New Year's Eve, the public was very accepting of me. Interestingly, now I have several different scenarios to consider.
I am moving away from "Hey! isn't that a guy in a dress." To a very real possibility the public may think we are two lesbians. So before I get "my freak on" concerning a real or perceived public reaction, I have to understand where it's coming from. Here's an example. Our server where we ate, quite possibly was a lesbian too, gave us excellent service and better yet, spread that Ladies word around liberally. While it's true, the more I transition, the less all of this is important to me at all. Why I care at all just comes from years of negative conditioning.
Being identified as a lesbian though is a whole different idea than I ever considered, almost the same as becoming androgynous in the public's eye. The L identification also changes my interaction with men again. Which is another topic for another day!
Regardless, of over thinking this whole gender process and being repetitive, I felt truly wonderfully comfortable and at ease in my own skin and clothes on New Years Eve.
My only disappointment was I faded early and could only make it till 2 am!
She out "pizazzed" me with a multi colored silky tunic top which draped over her thighs with leggings. She also started out with a modest pair of heels for the short walks we were under taking but we went back to the hotel and she changed to a pair of metallic flats quickly. I wasn't have anything to do with heels as always!
I went with my 3/4 length patterned black blouse/top, black leggings and slouch boots. We weren't going anywhere too fancy, unlike last year, so comfort trumped "glam" this year. On the other hand, our nails were polished, our makeup was top notch and a great time was had by all!
As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo in the past, the mirror I worship the most is the public eye. New Year's Eve, the public was very accepting of me. Interestingly, now I have several different scenarios to consider.
I am moving away from "Hey! isn't that a guy in a dress." To a very real possibility the public may think we are two lesbians. So before I get "my freak on" concerning a real or perceived public reaction, I have to understand where it's coming from. Here's an example. Our server where we ate, quite possibly was a lesbian too, gave us excellent service and better yet, spread that Ladies word around liberally. While it's true, the more I transition, the less all of this is important to me at all. Why I care at all just comes from years of negative conditioning.
Being identified as a lesbian though is a whole different idea than I ever considered, almost the same as becoming androgynous in the public's eye. The L identification also changes my interaction with men again. Which is another topic for another day!
Regardless, of over thinking this whole gender process and being repetitive, I felt truly wonderfully comfortable and at ease in my own skin and clothes on New Years Eve.
My only disappointment was I faded early and could only make it till 2 am!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
"Passing" the Eye Test
Those of you Cyrsti's Condo sports fanatics probably have heard the term "passing the eye test" in a negative connotation. An example is a football player who totally "looks" the part and even has the physical skills to be a star. For what reason though, the player never makes it. Compare it to the beautiful cross dresser you know who never quite captures the essence of being a woman!
I had a chance to check my theory last night on New Years Eve, as my eye test told me an incredible amount of 20 something Cincinnati area women would start 2014 with a cold - or worse. Very "little black dresses" and very high heels were the norm on the very chilly streets of Cincinnati. Obviously, coats were optional! OK, I know I sound like someone's Mom and my intention is not to critique the young women last night. I would have loved to have ever looked like them! Proof was the rule of thumb I experienced when my girlfriend and I were trying to hail a taxi : The longest legs in the shortest skirt with the highest heels, gets the first cab. Guess who got the last cab?
Going back to when we left the hotel, Liz and I tried to define my "style". This was as close as we could come. A "shaggy haired, too much eye makeup, good old girl" partying with my girlfriend on New Years Eve. Take the hair in the blog profile picture with the makeup in the Google+ picture and that's close. In short, I thought I looked great and passed my own mental "eye test". As I have always said "confidence is your greatest fashion accessory." Mine last night led to a thoroughly enjoyable evening. We went to a couple places including one of the newer "brew houses" which overlooks the Ohio between the Red's and Bengal's stadia. If you don't know, Cincinnati has a huge German heritage and it's finally beginning to reclaim it's past as a home to many quality craft brewers.
I'm very much a creature of habit and this was our second year in a row greeting the New Year on the banks of the Ohio in downtown Cincinnati. This year, I was on a confidence roll other than the looks department. For once, I didn't let the "rest room" paranoia creep in and ruin much of my evening. I just figured I would use the women's restroom when I needed to and if anyone bitched, I would pee down their leg- not mine.
Looking back, the most interesting experience of the evening came as we were checking into our hotel under my female name. The clerk was having absolutely no problems with the process until she asked for my drivers license/I.D. The picture on the license shows a very androgynous me - with my very male name. She just paused for a second, didn't say anything except "sign here Mam" on the paperwork. I knew I passed the "eye test" and she thought damn that woman is wearing too much eye makeup and has too much hair for a woman her age.
I'm not exactly sure men my age feel the same way!
I had a chance to check my theory last night on New Years Eve, as my eye test told me an incredible amount of 20 something Cincinnati area women would start 2014 with a cold - or worse. Very "little black dresses" and very high heels were the norm on the very chilly streets of Cincinnati. Obviously, coats were optional! OK, I know I sound like someone's Mom and my intention is not to critique the young women last night. I would have loved to have ever looked like them! Proof was the rule of thumb I experienced when my girlfriend and I were trying to hail a taxi : The longest legs in the shortest skirt with the highest heels, gets the first cab. Guess who got the last cab?
Going back to when we left the hotel, Liz and I tried to define my "style". This was as close as we could come. A "shaggy haired, too much eye makeup, good old girl" partying with my girlfriend on New Years Eve. Take the hair in the blog profile picture with the makeup in the Google+ picture and that's close. In short, I thought I looked great and passed my own mental "eye test". As I have always said "confidence is your greatest fashion accessory." Mine last night led to a thoroughly enjoyable evening. We went to a couple places including one of the newer "brew houses" which overlooks the Ohio between the Red's and Bengal's stadia. If you don't know, Cincinnati has a huge German heritage and it's finally beginning to reclaim it's past as a home to many quality craft brewers.
I'm very much a creature of habit and this was our second year in a row greeting the New Year on the banks of the Ohio in downtown Cincinnati. This year, I was on a confidence roll other than the looks department. For once, I didn't let the "rest room" paranoia creep in and ruin much of my evening. I just figured I would use the women's restroom when I needed to and if anyone bitched, I would pee down their leg- not mine.
Looking back, the most interesting experience of the evening came as we were checking into our hotel under my female name. The clerk was having absolutely no problems with the process until she asked for my drivers license/I.D. The picture on the license shows a very androgynous me - with my very male name. She just paused for a second, didn't say anything except "sign here Mam" on the paperwork. I knew I passed the "eye test" and she thought damn that woman is wearing too much eye makeup and has too much hair for a woman her age.
I'm not exactly sure men my age feel the same way!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Transitioning into 2014, Part Two
Following up on my first 2014 "Resolutions" post, here are a couple more. One easy, one not, both have a definite expiration date.
The last weekend in May this year is the 6th annual "Trans Ohio Symposium". You Cyrsti's Condo regulars may remember I was a workshop presenter last year on the subject of transgender transitioning later in life. Presuming I didn't wear out my welcome in one year, I plan on doing the workshop again and roll out my book there too.
As I have mentioned, I'm a terrible closer or finisher so this time I have given myself a finite date to be finished with the project- one way or another. My only real problem is organizing the content I have and then having the basic courage to present it. Good or bad!
My final two resolutions I will save for a final post. Both are extremely complex and may involve extra outside intervention which means "resolution" may be the wrong word. "Plan" could be a better one.
And, by the way, I do have one item on my "wish" list for 2014- Breast augmentation. I feel my "biological clock" is running out and even though I love and respect what HRT has done for my "girls", I still want to experience what life would be like for me with a set of breasts which "fit" my build. At this point in time, financial considerations keep the idea on a "wish list". One way or another though, I will live with lesser girls in the neighborhood and be lucky if that is all I have to worry about in 2014!
The last weekend in May this year is the 6th annual "Trans Ohio Symposium". You Cyrsti's Condo regulars may remember I was a workshop presenter last year on the subject of transgender transitioning later in life. Presuming I didn't wear out my welcome in one year, I plan on doing the workshop again and roll out my book there too.
As I have mentioned, I'm a terrible closer or finisher so this time I have given myself a finite date to be finished with the project- one way or another. My only real problem is organizing the content I have and then having the basic courage to present it. Good or bad!
My final two resolutions I will save for a final post. Both are extremely complex and may involve extra outside intervention which means "resolution" may be the wrong word. "Plan" could be a better one.
And, by the way, I do have one item on my "wish" list for 2014- Breast augmentation. I feel my "biological clock" is running out and even though I love and respect what HRT has done for my "girls", I still want to experience what life would be like for me with a set of breasts which "fit" my build. At this point in time, financial considerations keep the idea on a "wish list". One way or another though, I will live with lesser girls in the neighborhood and be lucky if that is all I have to worry about in 2014!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Transgender and Mormon
From the Big Gay Picture Show
In the last couple of the weeks the fact the courts in Utah have allowed gay couples to marry has thrown the spotlight on gay Mormons. Utah is, after all, the church’s home territory. Indeed over the years there’s been a fair amount of talk about gays and Mormons, due to the fact the church has, until very recently, actively worked against gay rights. However a subject that is hardly ever talked about, are those people brought up Mormon but who are transgender.
The short documentary, Transmormon, takes on this topic, and it’s well worth a look. Created by OHO Media (aka Torben Bernhard, Marissa Lila and Travis Low), the film follows Eri Hayward, who ‘was born and raised in Utah County, comes from a conservative Mormon background, was raised in the LDS Church and even went to Mormon private school – but something wasn’t adding up.
Eri was born a boy and it was a slow, painful journey for her to recognize she is transgender.’ The short covers a few months as Eri and her family navigate the transition, and she prepares to go to Thailand for sexual reassignment surgery.
In the last couple of the weeks the fact the courts in Utah have allowed gay couples to marry has thrown the spotlight on gay Mormons. Utah is, after all, the church’s home territory. Indeed over the years there’s been a fair amount of talk about gays and Mormons, due to the fact the church has, until very recently, actively worked against gay rights. However a subject that is hardly ever talked about, are those people brought up Mormon but who are transgender.
The short documentary, Transmormon, takes on this topic, and it’s well worth a look. Created by OHO Media (aka Torben Bernhard, Marissa Lila and Travis Low), the film follows Eri Hayward, who ‘was born and raised in Utah County, comes from a conservative Mormon background, was raised in the LDS Church and even went to Mormon private school – but something wasn’t adding up.
Eri was born a boy and it was a slow, painful journey for her to recognize she is transgender.’ The short covers a few months as Eri and her family navigate the transition, and she prepares to go to Thailand for sexual reassignment surgery.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Transgender and Genetic "Sisters"
Around here in Cyrsti's Condo of course we have literally kicked around the idea of how "admirers" and other men react to transgender women or cross dressers. What we haven't discussed much is how genetic women react to us. Are we really "sisters"?
Yes, of course we are. If you compare us as "sisters" we are no different than many genetic women and their "blood" sisters. I can't begin to tell you the number of women I knew over the years who were as different as night and day to their sisters.
I believe we interact on a "sister" level and share many of the same concerns as genetic women if they like it or not. We have the same security, interaction and appearance issues, to name a few. In fact, transgender women experience all of those on a much larger scale. We have to work harder to present feminine, communicate feminine and we all know how in certain places in the United States and around the world, trans people are considered expendable.
In my case, I believe what nature didn't give me in the genetal area as a trans woman, she gave back to me with my knowledge of both genders. So, I'm secure with what I bring to the table as I interact with my genetic "sisters".
First, I don't threaten any of a woman's core instincts. I have entered her "sandbox" and she doesn't have to deal with any male ego or sexual tension. I'm firmly entrenched on her "turf". Second, women "don't have to hate me because I'm beautiful" and I do my best to dress "feminine appropriate" everywhere I go and try to never force any issue.
What happens is many women are intrigued that I am more than just a "guy in a dress" and obviously have entered some sort of androgynous world.. All of the sudden, the word transgender is not so hard for me to explain, for them to grasp and the fun begins. Unlike men, who have the ultra paranoia about someone switching teams, women wonder why you want to join their team. What's your angle, how much do you know about playing on the team and "oh yeah" there is still that question of the pesky male life you used to live. What's up with all of that?
So you see, we really are "sisters". We have discussed here in "the Condo" how the majority of transgender persons and cross dressers have interacted with more women than men our entire lives - We know more than a little of how the process works. Just enough to make us dangerous.
The difference becomes as you transition more and more into the genetic feminine world, they pull out all the stops. You tossed your guy self in the trash. Now you have to be ready for the ground floor course at how sisters really react.
Yes, of course we are. If you compare us as "sisters" we are no different than many genetic women and their "blood" sisters. I can't begin to tell you the number of women I knew over the years who were as different as night and day to their sisters.
I believe we interact on a "sister" level and share many of the same concerns as genetic women if they like it or not. We have the same security, interaction and appearance issues, to name a few. In fact, transgender women experience all of those on a much larger scale. We have to work harder to present feminine, communicate feminine and we all know how in certain places in the United States and around the world, trans people are considered expendable.
In my case, I believe what nature didn't give me in the genetal area as a trans woman, she gave back to me with my knowledge of both genders. So, I'm secure with what I bring to the table as I interact with my genetic "sisters".
First, I don't threaten any of a woman's core instincts. I have entered her "sandbox" and she doesn't have to deal with any male ego or sexual tension. I'm firmly entrenched on her "turf". Second, women "don't have to hate me because I'm beautiful" and I do my best to dress "feminine appropriate" everywhere I go and try to never force any issue.
What happens is many women are intrigued that I am more than just a "guy in a dress" and obviously have entered some sort of androgynous world.. All of the sudden, the word transgender is not so hard for me to explain, for them to grasp and the fun begins. Unlike men, who have the ultra paranoia about someone switching teams, women wonder why you want to join their team. What's your angle, how much do you know about playing on the team and "oh yeah" there is still that question of the pesky male life you used to live. What's up with all of that?
So you see, we really are "sisters". We have discussed here in "the Condo" how the majority of transgender persons and cross dressers have interacted with more women than men our entire lives - We know more than a little of how the process works. Just enough to make us dangerous.
The difference becomes as you transition more and more into the genetic feminine world, they pull out all the stops. You tossed your guy self in the trash. Now you have to be ready for the ground floor course at how sisters really react.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Sarah Revisted
As 2013 comes quickly to an end, it's time to take a look at a couple very positive transgender achievements. One in this post and more to come in others.
The first comes from WAMU 88.5 who has taken a look at Sarah McBride's life a year after she came out as transgender:
There was a time in the not-so-distant past when Sarah McBride believed she had to choose between her dreams and her identity. But nearly two years after coming out as transgender, she not only continues to pursue her goal of working in politics, but she's also achieving it.
The last time Metro Connection interviewed McBride, she had recently come out in a very public manner. After wrapping up her term as American University's student body president, the rising senior wrote an Op-Ed in The Eagle, her school's student-run newspaper. The piece was entitled "The Real Me," and in it McBride, who at that point was still known as "Tim," announced to the AU population what she had kept a secret for years: she's a woman. In the article, she explains that she'd spent years thinking she had to choose between her identity and her dream of being a politician. She rationalized that if she could make life fairer for other people, then the work would be fulfilling enough to overshadow her own internal struggles.
"I told myself that if I could make 'Tim' worthwhile for other people by changing the world, that being 'Tim' would be worthwhile," she wrote.
I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo at the time how encouraging it was to see young transgender women and men not running for the stealth closet and making a difference! Read more about Sarah here.
Sarah McBride speaking at the passing of the Delaware Gender Identity Non Discrimination Act. |
There was a time in the not-so-distant past when Sarah McBride believed she had to choose between her dreams and her identity. But nearly two years after coming out as transgender, she not only continues to pursue her goal of working in politics, but she's also achieving it.
The last time Metro Connection interviewed McBride, she had recently come out in a very public manner. After wrapping up her term as American University's student body president, the rising senior wrote an Op-Ed in The Eagle, her school's student-run newspaper. The piece was entitled "The Real Me," and in it McBride, who at that point was still known as "Tim," announced to the AU population what she had kept a secret for years: she's a woman. In the article, she explains that she'd spent years thinking she had to choose between her identity and her dream of being a politician. She rationalized that if she could make life fairer for other people, then the work would be fulfilling enough to overshadow her own internal struggles.
"I told myself that if I could make 'Tim' worthwhile for other people by changing the world, that being 'Tim' would be worthwhile," she wrote.
I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo at the time how encouraging it was to see young transgender women and men not running for the stealth closet and making a difference! Read more about Sarah here.
Monday, December 23, 2013
What's in a Picture?
Pictures or "selfies" in the modern world could mean anything. With the advent of photo shop programs, certainly we can all put our best foot (or face) forward and we don't even have to be a celebrity to do it. If you can afford to do it, professional "photo" businesses can do wonders for us if they know what they are doing.
I'm sure by now you have seen the new blog "banner pix" and it was taken primarily at the request of Katie Glover, the editor of Frock Magazine. Katie and I have literally for years tried to get together on an article I could write for her magazine. Proud to say, I finally did it and I will have more info later here in Crysti's Condo. Note!!! I am NOT the cover girl you see on the left.
So, the new picture you see above is simply me. No filters of any kind. What you see is what you get on a sunny winter day in Cincinnati, Ohio. I have to tell you the process was and is agony for me. Not looking for support or sympathy here, but I know my 64 year old, been through a bunch of wear and tear male body does not present feminine well often...BUT I do just fine in the world.
My point to all of you is, appearance is not the be all, end all to the transgender transition process. The other "A" word attitude is right up there too. Pat, around the Condo writes about it too. When you know yourself and feel secure with yourself, all sorts of fun happenings are possible.
It's a bit early for New Year's resolutions I know. This year though, make sure you add in a liberal share of thought and ideas for those resolutions for your girl self. If you are looking to venture out of the closet in 2014 make sure you take her attitude with you!
I'm sure by now you have seen the new blog "banner pix" and it was taken primarily at the request of Katie Glover, the editor of Frock Magazine. Katie and I have literally for years tried to get together on an article I could write for her magazine. Proud to say, I finally did it and I will have more info later here in Crysti's Condo. Note!!! I am NOT the cover girl you see on the left.
So, the new picture you see above is simply me. No filters of any kind. What you see is what you get on a sunny winter day in Cincinnati, Ohio. I have to tell you the process was and is agony for me. Not looking for support or sympathy here, but I know my 64 year old, been through a bunch of wear and tear male body does not present feminine well often...BUT I do just fine in the world.
My point to all of you is, appearance is not the be all, end all to the transgender transition process. The other "A" word attitude is right up there too. Pat, around the Condo writes about it too. When you know yourself and feel secure with yourself, all sorts of fun happenings are possible.
It's a bit early for New Year's resolutions I know. This year though, make sure you add in a liberal share of thought and ideas for those resolutions for your girl self. If you are looking to venture out of the closet in 2014 make sure you take her attitude with you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
A Cajun Night Out
Ohio River Pride Image of Author JJ Hart Recently I passed my seventy fifth birthday. To have a mini celebration, my wife Liz took me to one...
-
Amateur, by my definition means a person who does not seriously pursue a certain interest, job or hobby. Ever sense Cyrsti's Condo ...
-
I don't find many new womanless pageant pictures floating around the web anymore. I think it's primarily due to the fact that th...