It's in The Stars?

Connie commented on my upcoming legal MtF name change

:Nice Job! Although the resident Wiccan around here (my partner Liz) won't admit it - she may have missed this one!!


"It appears that your name change date falls just about midway between the Winter Solstice and a full moon. I don't know what implications that may have, but Happy Winter Solstice, Recognition, and Full Moon Days to you! There are so many celebrations for people this time of year, depending on their beliefs. No matter what each of us celebrate, though, may we all learn to appreciate and believe in each other as the individual human beings we are. Also, I'd like to add a Happy Chaka Khan, cuz I like the way it sounds. :-)"

I love "Chaka" too!  Especially her hair color!!!! 

Chaka Khan

Will the Circle be Unbroken?

Well kids, it was quite the weekend at quite possibly my last circa 1800 crafts fair where we have sold "Bison Burgers" (buffalo) in period costume for over a decade.  It's very physically demanding and with the toll HRT has taken on my former male strength - and the combination of working 33+ years on my feet in the commercial restaurant business - I'm literally not the man I used to be.

So this morning it's time to slow down over a cup of joe and think a little more about the next couple of months.  I am very excited!

I have mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo,  my partner Liz is a practicing Wiccan  and I am becoming more and more interested in earth/nature based spirituality.  It just so happens, during the next month, a couple of major Wiccan festivals happen in the area.  I can't wait to go!

Then in October we have reserved a spot for Liz to sell her jewelry and knitted items at a nearby fall festival. (She knits, she crafts, she draws and she can sing too! Is it fair one person in a relationship should "hog" all the talent :) ? )

Seriously, where my "circle" begins, ends and starts again goes back many years.  My deceased wife and I were visiting a fall arts and crafts show over in Indiana and at one booth it was fairly obvious one genetic woman was selling, and in the back one cross dressed woman was helping.  So many years later, although I'm not the "talent" I will not be afraid to just sit back and not help sales. I'm fairly certain Liz will have the only transgender sales person at the festival.

Toss in a couple "October Fests" along the way and before we know it the bewitching Halloween time will be upon us and "Madam Lanoe!" Liz has told me, under no circumstances will she disclose what my costume will look like.  I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas!

Finally, I know what you are thinking.  Cyrsti, with your 65th birthday mixed in the middle of all of this, it's tough to be a kid.  But you know-that's the fun part!  The down side is-I need a nap! When is that coffee going to kick in???

The Celtic Princess?

Turns out, I have another set of "Pride" events to attend coming up this fall. Perhaps you regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo remember my partner is a practicing Wiccan.  When I first met her and she told me, I thought oh sh-t!, if I'm bad she will turn me into a toad. I was wrong and this is what I learned - or am learning:  (From the link above)

"Contrary to what those who choose to persecute or lie about us wish to believe, Wicca is a very peaceful, harmonious and balanced way of life which promotes oneness with the divine and all which exists.

Wicca is a deep appreciation and awe in watching the sunrise or sunset, the forest in the light of a glowing moon, a meadow enchanted by the first light of day.   It is the morning dew on the petals of a beautiful flower, the gentle caress of a warm summer breeze upon your skin, or the warmth of the summer sun on your face.   Wicca is the fall of colorful autumn leaves, and the softness of winter snow.   It is light, and shadow and all that lies in between."

To cut to the chase here, I have always wanted to have a higher appreciation of the natural world around me and as I have written in recent blog posts- I believe HRT has helped me to reach deeper, sensory levels.

Now on to the Pride gatherings, called Pagan.  I don't use the word much because in many minds it conjures up dark spirits and a guy with red horns, when simply, many "pagan" religions were simply pre-Christian.  On a totally different plane from the spiritual, I'm a people watcher.  Plus I'm a keen observer of how people observe me of course.

I jokingly tell my partner Liz, I want to be the "Celtic Princess" when we go, and will put off my planned fall hair color change for a bit.  Although my auburn hair color isn't real, a Celtic tie in with my ancestry is.  Although I'm a typical "mutt" American, I do know without a shadow of a doubt my Mom's family was German and my Dad's, British.  If it matters, even though my hair into my 40's was almost black, my Mom's family was dominated by red heads.

None of that should spoil my fun though.  I am believing the "true" spiritual believers at these events will embrace my transgender (twin spirit) background as "most" have at the "meet ups" I have gone to. I had one woman give me her best "get the hell out of here glare" until she figured out I wasn't leaving but I'm spoiled and loved the embrace I got from the others. I know I do scare some "faux pagans" (the same as faux Christians)  because of my gender fluid experience in the world. But, selfishly, I want to learn all I can for me, so I can't worry about others.

Plus Liz, is quite the seamstress too, so I'm leaving how the "Celtic Princess" will look to her!!!

Liz's Post

Recently I read a post from a fairly populated blog when the transsexual author wrote something to the point that cross dressers have the best of both worlds.  I thought immediately the comment was simply the work of yet another elitist transsexual and then began to wonder if someone would blitz me with the same.  As of yet no one has. My simple answer is "I don't have the best of both worlds, I earned the right to exist in them."

Here in the "Condo" we received several responses to the post Now You See Me, Now You Don't including this one from Pat:

You are spot on in noting that the male presentation is more convenient. Just the simple act of going to the end of the driveway to get the mail demonstrates the ease of male presentation as opposed to the needs for a proper female presentation. It does seem like you have a wonderful relationship with your girlfriend. Does she read this blog?

Pat, YES! Liz, my gf or partner does read the blog so I really have to be careful about what I write! (Just kidding!)  Our relationship is much more than I could ever imagine finding at this juncture of my life.  As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo, she only sees the female side of me, no matter what my exterior says.  At times she is a mentor of sorts when I need in depth feminine instruction but more importantly she has helped me to believe in myself. I never really lacked for male confidence but had very little self esteem as a trans woman-until Liz. It's important to point out Liz met me very early into my serious transition years, so she had a chance to run like hell.

Why me, why now and why her is a big question.  I never have been a believer in luck per se. Success in anything to me ends up falling in the lap of those who are persistent enough to be in the right place at the right time.  Plus, I'm a firm believer in positive karma and I was attracted to Liz's interest in organic spirituality.  My term, hers is, she is a Wiccan.

Why now?  It's her fault! We were both on a dating site, lived close together and she contacted me. It wasn't easy, at one point in time I was on about four different social dating/networking sites and after many months and mega idiots, I found Liz and another very close friend.  It's hard to believe it was three years ago.

Why her?  I touched on her spirituality a bit earlier.  Her religion I think gives her a basis for an understanding of a transgender person-not unlike the certain ancient Native American cultures who accepted "Dual Spirited" gender people.  To mention her faith only, is a real insult to her because she is a very multi faceted person.  She is so much more and so am I. Similar to a huge puzzle, we have so many pieces to put together.  I just hope I live long enough to see it happen.

Also, Liz shares a vision of me which is the same as mine.  She is an artist of sorts and now she has a very human subject to work with- in transition.  I just read today HRT takes three years to really sink in and I have a way to go.

Finally, to give you all an idea of how tough it is to me around me for any length of time, I'm a bi polar, dyslexic, hyper active person who happens to be transgender.

So at about now, Liz has read this and has opened a bottle of wine and is trying to figure out just what the hell she got herself into!

Thanks for the question, Pat!

The Blood, the Mud and the Beads!

We arrived in time to check in and walk the 4 blocks or so to Bourbon Street and the Lundi Gras party.
The night turned out to be a combination of a "bucket list"/learning experience.  We started down Bourbon Street fairly comfortably and fairly early with street side drinks in hand. Certainly the crowds were large but nothing unmanageable. We paused several places to lean on a wall and people watch. Here I was as my real self partying in New Orleans! Life was good then BOOM! We moved another 4 blocks or so up the street and then I found out what life in a "mosh pit" must be like. No one moved, beads were flying from as high as two stories up and of course were under your feet. I found out quickly this part of Mardi Gras was ideal for a 20 something person but girlfriend and I went, experienced and bailed! Remember too that the actual "Fat Tuesday" celebration was the next night.

I'm sure that those of you who visit Cyrsti's Condo and have been to New Orleans will vouch for the fact you need to wear comfortable shoes and clothes be ready for a lot of physical contact and be ever alert for flying beads!
The main lesson though was you can party and enjoy the whole experience more if you chose your battles on the fringes of Bourbon Street. Which we did on Tuesday night which is the actual Mardi Gras.

My girlfriend is a Wicca so she had an active interest in some of the shops in the area one of which was down near the cluster of gay venues and a block or so off the main street. Also, we had a chance to find a place where we could sit in an outdoor back patio area. Order drinks and food, enjoy each other's company and have restroom access. At my age taking the meds I am and drinking Louisiana's own Abita Beer I need to plan for potty breaks. As we all know, not the easiest deal for a transgender person. Where we were sitting though, I could watch the traffic to the women's room and make my break while the going was good (no pun intended). As it turned out, that particular restroom  was a story unto itself. It was small and I have no idea of what the woman ahead of me had to eat before she used that restroom...but the place was positively radioactive. Other amenities included the wooden board over the back of the toilet tank and the obligatory water and TP on the floor. Outside of the smell, I found the overall condition of the restroom was about normal for the ones I visited in the Bourbon Street war zone. My biggest problem was not coming out of the room and facing the women waiting to get in (to see if they were going to make a stink about me using the restroom) it was the embarrassment of them thinking I made that stink to start with!

The key to the evening was the weather. The intermittent rain stayed away for the most part and the weather stayed around 70 degrees so I could wear my off the shoulder top and feel a little exotic. But the evening was far from over and I will tell you more in an upcoming post!

My disclaimer here is that New Orleans is a positively wonderful and fascinating place and Mardi Gras is just a part of it!