Hate Enters the Picture

Author and Wife at last summers' group
picnic which was not held this year. 

 For years and years, I have been part of a diverse LGBTQ local support group who recently has focused more on transgender needs.

This year, as board elections neared, three former board members abruptly resigned their seats and said they were not running again. A huge problem for a six member board. Plus recently, more and more members of the general membership have declined to participate in group activities at all. All of the decreased participation particularly hurt when it came to activities such as Pride. In the Cincinnati area alone, there are four major Pride events the group did it's best to represent during the fun. 

In addition, pressure was put on a few to represent a group whose membership numbers into the two hundred fifty plus. Predictably, fatigue set in and board members began to become frustrated. Then, on top of all of this, the most prominent board members began to receive  actual threats. It was all too much for the members to take and they quit. It turned out, someone slipped in behind all the protections in the group's social media group and started spreading hate. All before the moderators could get the person stopped. 

Sadly, with my mobility problems, all I could do was sit back and watch all of this sadness happen. Pride this year was a prime example when the group needed help the most. I knew it, but was unable to help because of the difficulty I had getting there. Unlike so many of the other members, I was not particularly afraid of potential violence, I just could not do it. 

Any way you cut it though, the threats of harm against the transgender community does cause harm to those seeking to leave their closets and explore the world as their authentic selves. In the meantime, in the political arena I live in, the majority of the false negative comments about Ohio's Democratic senator involve his support of the transgender community. The ad's are false and disgusting. 

None of the political climate helps the group I am a long time member of. It has been around since 1968 and has been a pillar in the cross dresser - transgender local community. I feel bad I can not be an active supporter. 

I just hope the group can survive. 

Pride Month Out-Reach

 

As many of you may remember, I am a member of the Alzheimer's Greater Cincinnati diversity committee. 

Even though, due to my health reasons I could not make it to the main Pride celebration this year, I am happy to day, the association made it without me and hosted a table of information. 

As I always add, my passion to end this terrible disease stems from my Dad passing away after suffering terribly. 

If you are interested in volunteering your time, you can contact me, or your local Alzheimer's chapter.

 

Trans Girl Playing with Butches and Bears

 

Wishing you a Happy Pride Month!

One of the mistakes I made when I first came out of my dark, isolated gender closet was thinking the gay and lesbian community had very few layers. 

Quickly I learned how wrong I was. In the male gay community, there were tops and bottoms, drags and bears just to name a few. Not to be undone, women in the lesbian community have butches, femmes, lipstick lesbians, gold star lesbians and baby dykes. Again just to name a few. Initially, I was confused by wondering how I fit in as a transgender woman, if at all.

Just as quickly I learned the male gay world was not for me. I tried going to male gay bars when I first came out and was roundly rejected. For the most part, the majority of the people thought I was a drag queen. Which of course I wasn't. It didn't take long for me to leave the gay scene for the most part and try new venues. About this time, two small lesbian venues opened as luck would have it, I was not accepted in one but had no problems in the other.  The first one was a hard core biker dyke bar and they had no use for a trans woman on her own in their bar. Just to be a pain to them, I kept going back before I found other places to spend my money. 

As I mentioned, the other bar was a direct opposite. I went often and ended up meeting several butch lesbians which were interesting. Ironically, it was not my first interaction with butches since my first dinner date as a trans woman was with a super-butch who later transitioned into a transgender man. Through it all, I thought I could handle myself and deep down I was flattered by any attention I received such as the night I was gifted a beer by a lesbian who said she should take me home with her, Since I was still married at the time, I didn't think it would be a good idea to follow up on her idea, Just like the night a super-butch in a cowboy hat would not take no for an answer when it came to singing karaoke with her. After our ill-fated attempt ended, she commented I had a lower voice than hers as I rapidly paid my bar tab and left. I never saw her again or was asked to sing. Yes, I was that bad.

On the other end of the spectrum were the interactions I experienced with the big burly male gay bears I happened to run into. I have no idea what the attraction was but I could count on at least a couple of these macho looking men with Pride or Bear flags stopping me to say hello. Including the time, Liz and I just happened to go into a gay bar in New Orleans which was frequented by several bears and the same thing happened. Instead of being shunned, I was welcomed. 

I finally figured out there was something in the aura I was exuding as a trans person and it was resonating with a few of the extremes of the gay and lesbian community. For example, I was never approached by a gay man or lipstick (femme) lesbian at all. At the time, none of it mattered because life was so new and exciting to me when I first explored my new world. 

Playing with butches and bears just added to the intrigue and fun as I discovered the many layers of the LGBTQ society. Maybe they realized I had so many added layers to me too and wanted to research more. Even though, I was a new transgender woman in the world, life was so much more exciting and simple at the same time. Maybe I was similar to a child and when the newness wore off, I became more jaded. 

I still feel though, if the world understood all the varied layers of the LGBTQ world they may try to treat us better.

Trans Girl at Pride Day

 

Pride Flag image from
Jason Leung on UnSplash

Welcome to Pride Month. The only month of the year when the LGBTQ community is celebrated by a portion of the world and hated by others. Sadly, the month brings out all the gender bigots in the world. 

Early on, I had many experiences at various Pride Days with my new circle of lesbian friends. Including non lesbian friends when a meetup group my wife Liz and I were in operated a table at Cincinnati Pride for a couple of years. On occasion, I even felt as if I was the token LGBT person in the group. Regardless, I had a good time people watching all the diverse public which was walking by. I saw everything from lesbians wearing nearly nothing to cross dressers teetering painfully around in their heels and hose. Then, of course there were the drag queens who I almost felt were embarrassing to me because I did not want anyone to think I was part of their culture, I was transgender not a drag queen. My disclaimer is I have nothing against drag queens but my days in male gay bars taught me how unfortunate it was to be mistaken for a queen. 

Plus, I wanted everyone to know how important it was to me to be recognized for being a transgender woman in a sea of other diverse people. Along the way, I felt the Prides I went to started to emphasize trans people and not the drag queens who seemed to get all the attention with their flamboyant attitudes and clothing. Cincinnati in particular a couple of years ago featured a trans woman I don't remember now as their parade marshal. Plus, I started to see many more transgender women and trans men in the crowd along with groups of butch lesbians and gay male "bears". It made for an interesting experience as my preference was to be mistaken for a lipstick lesbian. Or a lesbian who wears makeup. 

Early on, back in our drinking days, Cincinnati Pride always featured an after hours "Pub Crawl" which one year even featured a bus which took us to many gay venues we had never been to before. I had always wanted to live in Cincinnati and this was a great way to experience it, without ever driving because at the end of the evening, we took an Uber to get home. A great time was had by all. 

Of course, Cincinnati wasn't the only city in the region which hosted a huge Pride celebration. Before I moved to Cincy, I lived within a half hour of Columbus, Ohio. Columbus, as I said, had a LGBTQ celebration which rivaled all the others in the state. This time I went with my new circle of lesbian friends including Liz and two others. Similar to my Pride experiences in Cincinnati, the drag queens became less of an influence and better yet, I could relax and enjoy myself. That night for some reason, we ended up in several straight bars without any problems. 

These days, Pride has really expanded. In the local metro area alone, there are four separate celebrations going on this year. Sadly, with most, after the celebrating has died down, the same old problems exist for transgender women and men in the community. Big corporations who support Pride go back into their closets and I assume wait for the push back from the gender bigots. 

At any rate, it is refreshing to see the public media support for our community. Even if it is temporary.

Enjoy your Pride month no matter where you are in your gender transition! That includes all of you who identify as cross dressers. You never know when all of that may change. It happened to me.

It's Complicated

 

Transgender Image 
from UnSsplash

As I transitioned, my overall life process became so much more complicated.

Fortunately during most of the time I did not receive many questions concerning my gender. It's not that I would have not answered most of the questions, even if anyone asked. It turned out the most sensitive question I do dislike is have I had any surgeries "down there". In fact, I reported a rude nurse during a mammogram I had asking the exact same question. It was certainly none of her business.

What also became very complicated was my life as a whole. The more I found I could live a life as a transgender woman, the more I wanted to pursue it. When I did, I ran head on into several major problems. The first of which was my second wife. As I write about often, she and I were married for twenty five years before she passed away. In addition she knew from the beginning I was a transvestite or cross dresser and my cross dressing initially had no bearing on our marriage. When I wanted to take my life a huge step forward and begin hormone replacement therapy, she drew the line. In no way did she want to live with another woman. As I began to be that other woman, our life together became very complicated and many huge fights happened.

The second main issue I faced was with my male self. He was rapidly seeing his life fade away and wanted to hang on as long as he could. Sooner more than later, the scales tipped and when I was still in my male role, I felt as if I was cross dressing as a man. At this point I was in an extra complicated relationship with the two most important people in my life...my wife and myself. In other words, two women fighting for my life. I was under intense pressure to make a decision on what I was going to do. I ended up attempting to live separately between the two major binary genders. I was torn completely on what my final decision would be.

At this point is when destiny stepped in and helped to make my decision for me.  When my wife passed away, there was really no one to tell me not to transition. From then on,  I had to begin to rely upon myself to make the final decisions on what I would live my life as. Continue as a man or explore the possibility of living as a transgender woman. It turned out I was soon helped along by a new set of accepting cis-woman friends I encountered along the way when I was out trying to enjoy myself. Through my powers of observation, I was able to sit back and learn more of what it meant to live a feminine life. We went to all kinds of places from LGBTQA Pride celebrations to lesbian mixers to women's roller derby matches. I had a good time and learned so much. Mainly that I did not need a man to validate myself as a transgender woman.

Very quickly when I decided to leave my male life behind, I knew very quickly I had made the right decision. It seemed as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. From that point forward to the present day, my life has been remarkably uncomplicated once I faced my gender issues.  

It's LGBTQ Pride Month

Caitlyn Jenner...NOT the face of Pride

Once a year we pause to join the world with our Pride month. This year is ever more important that the transgender (or "T") of the LGBTQ alphabet is visible.

Why do we have to be more visible? Because of all the recent anti legislative bills which typically involve the perceived weakest link of all the LGBTQ facets in the public eye. The fact remains, most of the public does not know a trans person. Plus the trans umbrella still seems to be plagued by negative supposed role models like Caitlyn Jenner. Because of all of that and more it essential as much as possible we stand up for ourselves in a positive manner.

Now let's get down to Pride Celebrations themselves. In todays' ultra restrictive societies some react to the hypocrisy of certain big companies/corporations which sponsor Prides then do nothing the rest of the year to further the rights of individual transgender women or men. This year, the entire matter just seems to be overshadowed  by situations such as the beer "Bud Light" went through. 

Personally, the problem I had with major Pride celebrations was the influence of drag queens. It always seemed to me the transgender community was overshadowed by overly made up men in dresses. Again, this year is different because even the right to dress in drag has come under attack in some states. Of course I support the right of drag queens to do their thing and that means continuing their representation at Pride events. Just don't confuse it with me.

In fact, in the past, when I have attended larger Pride celebrations in Ohio, I felt I needed to separate myself from the drag queens. One year after we first met, my wife Liz even made me a shirt to wear which said "Transgender Veteran, I fought for your right to deny me mine,"   I wanted to show the world I was not a drag queen. 

Regardless of all of that, the biggest issue with LGBTQ Prides this year is everyone's personal safety. Even with the possible threat of violence hanging over everyone's head this year, more and more smaller communities around me at least are starting or continuing their own Pride celebrations. It is good to see. Since transgender people have been around since the beginning of time, we most certainly aren't going anywhere now.   

Hopefully attending the Cincinnati celebration Liz and I have attended in the past will be a possibility this year also. (It's coming up later in the month,) Since I have mobility problems and Liz has an upcoming medical procedure, we will just have to wait and see. In the meantime, enjoy your LGBTQ Pride Month. 

Running in the Shower?

 I used this pun on my therapist last week and I don't think she ever realized what I was trying to say. 

Old Pride Pub Crawl picture
from when I could drink.

She asked about how the new radical diet Liz and I started was going. I said so well, I had to run around in the shower to get wet.

Actually the diet is getting off to a rousing start. Or not. It's a no sugar or flour diet with tons of fruit and vegetables. Even though most of the food becomes rather boring early, I have lost some obvious weight already. One of the focuses is to not obsess on what the scale says so I have not weighed myself at all. 

Overall, writing about a diet is one of least likely topics I thought I would aver be writing about . During my life I have been relatively fortunate to be able to control my own weight. In fact, I lost nearly 40 pounds when I transitioned into a transgender world. 

This time it's different. I am doing the diet to support Liz. Her health and goals are so important to me.

Then again, what is more feminine than obsessing over a diet? 

Cha-Changes?

 

Pride picture from a couple years ago. 

Recently, I mentioned briefly about finally getting my application to the "Trans Journalists Association" approved. The hold up was the email mix up between my CyrstiH@Yahoo.com  old email and my newer Jessie751 email which is under my legal name. One it was resolved and they figured out I was a real person, the application went through. 

Then I found I wasn't finished. There is a sight called "Slack" which asked me to join too.  Turns out it is also a group of transgender orientated writers asking for input. 

Also, Google has announced it is doing away with it's "Feedburner" subscription service. Not to worry I guess because I received an email yesterday from a new service seeking to add all of Googles' former customers.

Of course it turns out there are extra steps I need to take also to make sure it happens correctly.

I am sooooo confused!  

Billboard Material

 

Jari Jones is an actress, model, and LGBTQ+ advocate. Last year, she was one of nine models featured in an advertisement for Calvin Klein in New York City. The brand’s 2020 Pride campaign #PROUDINMYCALVINS, was a huge accomplishment. In an Instagram post she wrote, “It has been such an honor and pleasure to sit in my most authentic self and present imagery of a body that far to often has been demonized, harassed, made to feel ugly and unworthy and even killed.”

It's Pride Month

Just more Drag Queens

 June is LGBTQ Pride Month. Of course (per norm) I watched the local morning news  and almost the first story I saw was promoting two of the local Pride activities coming up this weekend. This year, the biggest local event (Cincinnati) was again canceled due due pandemic considerations. Even still, the television station used old footage of drag queens' in convertibles for the story. Which leads me to this:

One of my biggest problems with the various events is the number of drag queens which are featured. 

My dislike for all the attention drag queens garner goes all the way back to my earliest days of  coming out into a feminine world. A world I desperately wanted to succeed in. The mistake I made was going to male gay venues...places which were nearly impossible to exist in as a novice transgender woman. I ultimately learned  I could be accepted much more easily in straight venues.  At the same time, I began to grow bored of the same drag queens performing the same songs. 

All of this brings me back to Pride. My earliest trips to Prides were immersed in the usual garishly dressed queens followed close by by cross dressers teetering by in their high heels and tight dresses. Very little appealed to me. I will say though, as the years have gone by, I have noticed more and more transgender women and men enjoying the day. 

Interestingly, the Trans Ohio organizers who are hell bent to put on a virtual event of their own, have a whole other take on why Pride does not represent trans people as a whole. Their take is the money these big Pride events bring in.  The big corporations who are lining up as sponsors are spending money in the wrong areas to truly help the immensely needy segments of the LGBT community. Too much of the money goes to support the event itself or back to the cis male gay groups whole are already doing well in the financial areas.

At any rate, Liz and I can't attend any of the regional Prides this year for several reasons and even though I don't like the attention the queens get, I still like to "people watch" the rest of the crowd. 

Virtual Action

 Yesterday it seems I spent the day doing virtual meetups. 

The first was with my therapist. We discussed, among other things, my recent dual bout with gender dysphoria coupled with bi-polar issues. As always, it was triggered by an off the wall instance. When I returned from the dentist to have impressions taken, it seemed I had left a bit of the residue on my face. Liz wanted to show me and held up her cell phone to provide video proof. When I saw myself, I immediately went into shock after I saw my image. All I saw was an old guy with very long hair and my gender dysphoria along with the accompanied despair set in. It took me several days to climb out of the mental funk I was in.

I am fortunate to have such a strong support system with my partner Liz. She helped me climb out of my ditch. She is so good, my therapist and I call her "Dr. Liz." After a couple days, my depression started to lift and I used the time honored phrase "It is what is is" to accept my state of mind and move on. Whatever I have managed to use to feminize my male body will have to suffice. 

While I am on the subject, I was able to obtain my blood lab results from the weekend yesterday. The important results came back good. My iron was low, so I don't have to go back up to the Dayton, Ohio VA  for a blood removal phlebotomy. They take a pint out to keep my iron levels in line. Also my hormone levels remained about the same. Slightly below level for a normal non pregnant cis woman. What that means is, it's a possibility my endocrinologist will let me add another estradiol patch to our routine. We shall see.

Finally yesterday, I virtually attended the monthly Rainbow Elderly Alliance board meeting. Since I don't have much coming up in the near future as far as webinars are concerned, I was relatively quiet. It was announced though we would be participating in the upcoming June Dayton, Ohio Pride celebration. It's going to be a hybrid affair combining drive thru and actual events. Since I live an hour and fifteen minutes away, it's tough for me to do much. Plus, depending on the planning, I may be going to the Cincinnati Pride this year. It's the biggest in the area if it happens at all.

All of this amazes me. Before the pandemic I didn't even know how to attend a virtual meeting at all. Now I have days which doing on line meetings is all I do.  

Bored

After every up moment such as this weekend, there naturally comes a period of "what now?"

I have nothing going on this week until Friday when we have our monthly transgender-cross dresser social at the Mexican Restaurant we go to quite a bit.

It's still too early to decide, but since we are still baking in our mini heat wave, I probably will wear my other maxi dress.

Other than that, I will be riding along with Liz to her doctor's appointments, which require no special preparation to speak of. Just the normal jeans and minimal make up.

All the Prides in the area are now done, so it's a let down too. Most of the euphoria of Pride can be tempered with all the tragic violence against transgender women around the country and the world. Pride is a powerful example of what is possible...if we all stick together and make it happen.

Busier Week

All sorts of things are happening this week.

Today I had my "Parent's Day" breakfast with my accepting daughter. It was very enjoyable, especially when the server finished up our meal with "You ladies have a nice day."

Tomorrow is my monthly visit to my therapist. One of these month's I am going to keep tract of who asked the most questions...her or me. Of course since I don't lead the most exciting life, sometimes there just isn't much to talk about except in the rare instances I am dealing with a lot of anxiety.

It's Pride week here in Cincinnati and Wednesday I have volunteered to help the transgender - cross dresser group I am in with an information table at the local VA hospital.  I went last year and it was a very nice event.

Thursday my partner Liz and I are going to the regular monthly dinner for the same group. Hopefully the server who called me "he" last time, get's my gender right this time. If she doesn't, she will hear about it.

Friday, I return to my hair stylist for a trim and shaping of my hair. I think I can go another appointment without having her color it again.

Friday night we have a another spiritual meetup celebrating the longest day of the year.

Finally, Saturday the main Cincinnati LGBTQ Pride parade and festival is taking place. We are all hoping for good weather this year! It's a very long day since we set up and promote our October Witches Ball Halloween Party. Normally though, a good time is had by all. 

Party Number One

The first party we went to this weekend turned out to be a fantastic affair. We were able to get an early enough start to stop off at one of the "New Age" shops in Yellow Springs we like so much. Little did I know, it was also Pride Day in the village, so there were plenty of LGBT Pride flags to go around. Plus, while we were at the shop, we were able to drop off brochures for the Cincinnati Witches Ball in October.

I bought a pair of "peace symbol" earrings in the shop and had an affirming chat with her. No one else even gave me a glance except one woman who smiled. As we had discussed in depth here in Cyrsti's Condo, it is not unusual for women to smile at each other, so I don't know if the transgender dynamic had anything to do with it or not.

Saturday was one of those days when I felt very secure of myself, even with the temperatures hovering into the nineties. Confidence is always the best accessory!

From the village, we headed about ten miles up the road and checked into our hotel room, which had a great air conditioner. Party time was later in the day, so we had a chance to relax before we fixed up our make up and headed out. I wore the black and cream embroidered tank top I wore to Cincinnati Pride with a pair of Jeggings for comfort.

Seeing my old friends at the party was fun! We haven't seen each other for about three years. Everyone else in the group were very accepting too and no one mis gendered me. At least internally I was able to drop the transgender part of me and just be me.

All too quickly, they lit off their fireworks and it was time to make the journey back in town to our hotel room.

It was a remarkable day!

Uni Sex Bathroom

Liz and I at Cinci Pride

Thanks to an unnoticed hornets nest, one of the sets of free standing bathrooms suddenly became unisex at Pride Saturday when the women's room had to be shut down. The sudden debacle was taken in stride by the line of mixed genders waiting to use the only bathroom available. Unless you wanted to walk the whole length of Pride to get to the other one. Humorously, a big roll of toilet paper was passed up and down the line for those in need.

The bathroom itself, had two stalls and three urinals. After much consideration, I decided to "take one (or give one) for the team and use an urinal for the first time in years. That way a cis woman would have a slightly quicker chance at a stall. As it turned out, no one would or could say anything anyhow.

It took a lot of pressure off and made me feel a little privileged that I still had two choices in an emergency.

As I said in an earlier Cyrsti's Condo post, the transgender "T" in LGBTQ was very evident and present at this Pride event. Paula Goodwin checked in with her perspective from "across the pond" in Britain:

 

Paula GoodwinJune 25, 2018 at 5:47 AM

So glad you had a good Pride and so happy to hear that Cincinnati manages to put the T in LGBT+. London is trying but Brighton definitely doesn't; I hope that Croydon where I chair the trustees really does include the T!

Thanks Paula!

Good Hair Day

Yesterday,(Sunday) all we seemed to get done was run around. It was even a two outfit day for me, which rarely happens.

First of all, we went out to a nice steakhouse for lunch, and then headed to the cemetery to honor Liz's Dad who passed away about this time last year. During a fairly brief trip on the Interstate, I decided to let the air have it's way with my hair. For better or for worse. To my surprise, it was for the better and a good time was had by us in the restaurant. I simply wore one of my new tops and a pair of culottes. 

Once we arrived back home. I changed into a black tank top I am able to wear around the house without a bra and not getting complaints from Liz. When she asked if I wanted to go with her, I not so slyly asked did I have to change clothes. To my surprise she said I didn't, it was hot outside and I could go with what I had on. So I was ready with my wind blown hair, black tank top and culottes. It made the day more enjoyable.

Now I am trying to figure out what I am going to wear to Pride coming up on Saturday. More on my choices coming up later.

VA Pride Day

"LGBT Pride Day" at the Cincinnati Veteran's Administration hospital campus, turned out to be a well attended quality affair. I would estimate approximately two hundred peeps wondered through. Only a couple were remotely negative to the three of us who attended to our table. One fool was enjoying call us "you guys" a little too much. Some people shouldn't be allowed to get out much I guess.

On the positive side, we had one person who came up and said he was deeply closeted but was looking for alternatives to come out. He took a ton of the information we were offering. There were also several others who said they had transgender members in their family.

The part of the event which really stood out to me, was a brief performance of "Muse", a woman's a capella chorus. They were wonderful and truly represented the feminine spirit.

Finally, I believe nearly all LGBT Pride events paint a too rosy overall picture of the transgender lifestyle. While (even with the current presidential administration which is dedicated to taking all our gains away), things are getting better for our trans sisters and brothers. On the other hand, I think of the two (out of an approximate twenty) transgender women in one of my support groups who have been fired from their jobs recently.

All in all though, it was a nice event and I received another invitation to yet another monthly support group.

It's Pride Season!

Around here at least, starting last weekend, you could/can attend a LGBTQ Pride Celebration every weekend through July. "Pride" of course can mean so many different things to so many different people. Simply put, the Pride days are to show the world who we are and we aren't going away. (No matter what the bigots hope for.-Alex.)

Trans Pride Flag

Personally, Pride has represented a deeper transition for me. Over the past five years, I was able to distance myself from the Queens on the floats (and some of the more flamboyant cross dressers I saw)-until last year I was able to completely let my "Trans Flag Fly." No I wasn't a gay man or a lesbian woman, I was me dammit. Quite liberating to say the least - but still easier said than done.

This year, I think the Pride I will be attending is Cincinnati's. Last year I went to Columbus and Yellow Springs, Ohio. I will be very interested in seeing any new/out transgender participation. Plus on the selfish side, I feel as if the less I am noticed the better(stealth?)

Finally, in my next post I am going to be sending along a graphic from the SocialWork@Simmons blog

I will point out ahead of time, it is a partial list!!!

Transgender Jewelry

In yesterday's Cyrsti's Condo post: Is That All There Is?  I showed this necklace Liz gave to me for Pride (and wherever I wanted to wear it.)

I was asked where she purchased it.

The answer is, she found it on a site called Etsy - no not Ebay.  If you go their home page and type in "transgender"-you will get an option for jewelry.  There are many but this one comes from a place called Beach Side Jewelry Shop.

Liz preferred their work because they use pewter and have different designs for Wiccan's like her!

If it matters, the one I have is about 3/4's of the sample above and inside the inner circle is a stone of some sort. I love it!

We Are NOT Related...But...

Referring back to the recent Cyrsti's Condo post I wrote about my interaction with the young gay boy the other night, I received a quick comment from Paula of Paula's Place  concerning her first visit to a local Pride event and thinking almost the same thing. She said: I was in Brighton for the biggest Pride event in the UK at the weekend, and there were an awful lot of boys there (Gay and Straight) who could do with learning that lesson... (left).

As I always do, after my impulsive outbursts die down along with the emotions and passions- my biggest misconception continues to be that in any way I am "related" to the rest of the gay and lesbian community.  I suppose dots could be connected between how I identify as my  gender and my relationship with a lesbian woman but that's it.

"Back in the day" I'm sure, we as the transgender community had to be lumped into a bigger group for identification and political reasons.  We became the "T" in the LGBT which is populated now with lots of other letters.

I suppose what I don't understand about the human critter and groups in particular is why when the groups become successful,  they forget their origins and become inclusive or even enabled. 

Of course the most "enabled" group of all are the cis gay males.  For the most part they are working the system wonderfully to their advantage (good for them!) but like any cis man- just don't have the empathy to reach out to those they don't understand.  The other night, It did my soul good to watch gay television personality Andy Cohen use the transgender word with Laverne Cox. Perhaps with enough exposure my "little buddy" from the other night will learn - I wasn't cross dressed any more than Laverne Cox was.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised - of the the town I'm from and unfortunately still live in part time. Yes, it's the same city only 50 some miles from Columbus where I had to introduce myself to the local Equality Group as the only transgender woman  They only use the words gay and lesbian and the newly elected female black city commissioner is now the deciding vote to keep  discriminatory TGBLQ laws on the books in the 6 th largest city in Ohio.

Maybe I'm asking too much?