As the Clock Strikes Midnight

 

JJ Hart

New Year’s Eve is upon us again.

With it comes a flood of memories, some good, some not so good from both sides of my transgender border. First, let’s remember one of the ugly male experiences I had. This came from years ago when I had completed my tour of military duty and we were celebrating that as well as the New Years.

Being the huge drinker that I was, I ordered a keg of beer and a bottle of mezcal for a smallish party my second wife (to be) and I were having. Too much booze it seemed to stay socialized at all. To make a long story short, after a hard night of trying to drink the mezcal and the barrel of beer, when the clock struck zero and the ball in Times Square dropped, I did not kiss my future wife first, I committed the ultimate sin of kissing her more attractive sister. Needless to say, there was no way to hide what I did, and I was in deep trouble no matter what I had to say about it.  The damage was done, and I would have to live with it for years. In fact, I don’t think I ever lived it down.

I could blame the entire unfortunate episode on toxic masculinity setting in, but in fact, I was trying desperately to bury any thoughts that I had of being a woman on yet another New Year’s Eve. From then on, the yearly debacle which was a party on New Years went on by me in a blur. At the least I proved I could outdrink anyone else and at its best I learned the problems of acting like a fool and being careful to kiss the right person at the right time.

Nothing really changed until I met my current wife Liz approximately seven years ago when we went out on the town in downtown Cincinnati for a New Year’s Eve celebration. We began with having an Uber ride to our first destination, which was the Cincinnati Music Hall for a performance of the symphony orchestra. Even though I thought I was dressed appropriately for the occasion in my black sequined gown, I was still very terrified about going at all. It turned out that once again all the worrying in the world did not help me at all because nothing happened. I went, I blended and I conquered all those around me who may have questioned having a transgender woman in their midst. And probably, the best part was that the night was just beginning.

From the music hall, we took a terrifying taxi ride in a cab company called Einstein Taxi (really). He drove us at breakneck speed to a venue where we had dinner reservations down by the riverfront. Once we safely arrived, we did not have to wait long to be seated and once again I was met with no resistance to being me at all. The venue was also a micro-brewery which featured German food, so we ate well as we waited for the ball to drop on a New Year. This time, I made sure I was kissing the right woman. Liz of course, before it was time to head back home and no, we did not drive.

This marked the first time I can remember I did not have the thoughts of failure hanging over my head. I was not going to spend another year as my hated male self again. What a relief!

This New Year’s we have a huge college football game to watch as The Ohio State Buckeyes play Miami of Florida. Since the game does not start until seven thirty, we will have plenty of time to open a bottle of wine and toast the incoming 2026. Without dwelling on all of the problems the transgender community had heaped on us in 2025, maybe the upcoming year will be the one when the rest of the world says enough is enough and the upcoming mid term elections will sweep the evilness and the liars out. It is the country’s two hundred fiftieth anniversary. It is time to reclaim some of our past which made us great.

That is my hope for the New Year, as well as I hope you have a better year too, no matter what your goals and dreams might be. I will be spending it in the comfort of my own home with my favorite person who did more for my male to female gender transition than anyone else. It does not get any better for me and I don’t have to worry about who I am going to kiss.

Happy New Year’s!

Diversity is Wonderful

 

LGBTQ Flag, Jack Lucas
Smith on UnSplash.

This morning, I had several errands to run ahead of a fun birthday party I am going to tomorrow. 

The first stop I needed to make this morning was to a local pharmacy which also sells greeting cards, so I could pick up a card for my friend tomorrow. It did not take me long to find a suitable card and I moved on to check out with the guy at the front cash register. For once, since I had such a small purchase, I did use real live cash which I think threw both of us off. 

As far as the cashier went, I had the deep suspicion he was of the LGBTQ community, as he greeted me warmly. After making small talk concerning how nice of a day it was, I left in route to my second stop, putting gas in the car for tomorrow's trip.

At the gas station, I was not prepared to do anything else but pay at the pump and not see another person. All of those plans went away when the card reader at the pump did not work, and I had to go inside to pay. Again, all the reservations of meeting another person were set aside when the cashier was very nice to me and again, I went on with my day.

My next stop turned out to be the toughest and it did not even involve another person to interact with. It was me trying my best to navigate a new ATM at my bank, so I can give a little birthday gift tomorrow. Whoever designed the new machine did not figure out the person using it needed to be a master mover to use it.  Fortunately, there was no one else in the drive thru, because I finally needed to undo my seat belt and open the door of the car to finish my transaction. 

My final stop was to the nearby coffee shop which my wife Liz and I enjoy, and even I found a way to make an easy trip to a drive thru more difficult. When I arrived at the coffee shop, two huge trash dumpsters were blocking one of the entrances to the business. So, then I needed to follow another road around the end of the building to go into the drive thru from its back entrance. Which I finally did. After I ordered and made it up to the window was when the diversity of the day really began to set in. 

As I looked up into the store from my car, what did I see on the wall, but a huge LGBTQ Pride flag. Right then and there I knew it was nice to be wanted in a diverse situation. Especially, in today's world. 

The party tomorrow should be another comfortable diverse situation. It is a birthday party for a transgender woman friend at a big Italian restaurant in a nearby suburb of Cincinnati. To my knowledge, this is the first big outing of my friend's recovery from a fairly major stroke. 

If I don't get lost getting there, I will let you know how the party went for my transgender friend.  

Class Reunion?

Image from UnSplash

Have you ever attended a class reunion as your new transgender self?

I haven't and don't plan on going to one now, so I haven't. In fact, several years ago, I resisted a temptation to accept an invitation to my fiftieth year high school reunion. I had several reasons for hiding out and not attending the reunion. 

The main reason was, I didn't particularly have many friends when I was in school. I just had transferred into the school and had a difficult time making any sort of real friends since I was so shy. I was especially backwards around girls and didn't have my first date until well into my junior year. So I didn't have anyone I really wanted to see after all the time which had went by. I felt if the overwhelmingly majority, of the students I went to school with back in the day didn't want to deal with me in school, why would they want to deal with me now.

Another main factor in me not going to the reunion was I didn't want to be viewed as some sort of a side show since I figured I would be the only transgender participant who attended. Plus my Mom was a very popular teacher at the school I went to, so I was afraid more of the people who attended the reunion would remember me for her and not the other way around. And as far as those who would be possibly wowed at the change in me would be few and far between because (as I said) they didn't remember anyhow. 

I was fortunate the committee which was set up to try and find all of my classmates ended up doing a terrible job locating me. In the smallish medium sized town I lived in, I owned and operated my own restaurant plus managed one of the biggest/most popular chain food locations in town for years. Along the way also, I was president of a well known civic organization which hosted many events and the committee couldn't  even "find" me. They even placed ads in the local newspaper looking for me among the others who hadn't signed up to attend. 

To make a long story short, I didn't see going to a class reunion was worth  outing myself to a group of people I did not really know. The potential transgender day of visibility was not going to happen. Not on that day at least.

Potentially, if I live that long, I will be invited again to other milestone high school class reunions. We will see at the time if my thoughts towards going will change at all. I doubt it because I still carry the grudges with me towards my former classmates, If they did not not want to know me then, why would they want to know me now... Transgender or not. 

Friday Night Puns

As the national holiday for cross dressers everywhere rapidly approaches (Halloween), I hope you have your costume ideas all together. I remember the extreme stress I went through. First and foremost, I wanted to try to come up with a costume idea similar to what a cis woman would wear. Then, I had to try to come up with a date I could be free so I could attend some sort of a party.

I worked in the restaurant business, so most of the time it meant working all weekends. Plus, getting all dolled up cross dressed for work was out of the question. After all I had my macho image to protect, primarily because of the white redneck kitchen crews I had to manage. One of the prime reasons I don't have more Halloween stories to share.

Also, not all of the experiences were positive. I remember the times when the high heels I wore killed my feet. Or for some reason the few parties I wasn't accepted well at. The times I was touched inappropriately come to mind too. I guess I learned the hard way what cis women go through when they dress a certain way.

But all in all, the good times out numbered the bad. Including the experience I shared about the politician and his wife.  Here is where the "puns" come in. Compliments of Connie (of course):


"Maybe it was the politician's wife who was more interested? Or, a ménage à trois that could lead to a raucous in the caucus? Or, something profunda in the rotunda? A congressional confessional? :-)"   Probably all of the above!

Before Liz and I go out tonight to a Halloween party at a local venue we are close to, I thought I would share a picture of both of us. Taken last winter. Maybe I will have a picture taken tonight if I think about it.

Also thanks to Connie for the political puns!

Liz and Jessie selfie taken last winter in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio

All Hallow Back in the Day

This one goes wayyyyy back in the day:

" I won't tell you how many years ago this occurred . Only that I had a decidedly better figure! It was "back in the day" when a Halloween party was a rare coming out event. I believe as a transgendered person you can only do one party with the same people before they start to gossip. If you care. I got an invite to a classic party in an old Victorian mansion in one of the town's historic districts. At the door was an antique coffin with a very real skeleton observing the guests. My first wife (who figured that some day I was going to take off and be a girl full time) didn't much care I was going to the party with a female co-worker-dressed like a complete tramp. Halloween is a great time for genetic and TG females to strut their stuff. (Who do they think they are kidding?) Shaved legs, heels, micro mini dress and long blond hair pretty much described my outfit. When we arrived, I pretty much didn't say much and I found that a lot of the guests didn't really know I wasn't as I appeared to be. I was in heaven! Later in the evening, a couple did approach me to tell me how good I looked and didn't know the truth initially and did I want to go with them to another party? Reluctantly I had to turn them down. My ride was with my co-worker and I thought it would be rude to do that to her. The couple left and I asked the hosts who they were. It turns out he was a very new politician who was running for a state representative seat. As the years went by, he went to Washington and became a very powerful congressman. I've often wondered how deep the attraction was that night and did I destroy my chance for a job in the capital or even a "tell all" book? Let's see: "Monica and Cyrsti" A Life Under The Desk! lol"