Hate Enters the Picture

Author and Wife at last summers' group
picnic which was not held this year. 

 For years and years, I have been part of a diverse LGBTQ local support group who recently has focused more on transgender needs.

This year, as board elections neared, three former board members abruptly resigned their seats and said they were not running again. A huge problem for a six member board. Plus recently, more and more members of the general membership have declined to participate in group activities at all. All of the decreased participation particularly hurt when it came to activities such as Pride. In the Cincinnati area alone, there are four major Pride events the group did it's best to represent during the fun. 

In addition, pressure was put on a few to represent a group whose membership numbers into the two hundred fifty plus. Predictably, fatigue set in and board members began to become frustrated. Then, on top of all of this, the most prominent board members began to receive  actual threats. It was all too much for the members to take and they quit. It turned out, someone slipped in behind all the protections in the group's social media group and started spreading hate. All before the moderators could get the person stopped. 

Sadly, with my mobility problems, all I could do was sit back and watch all of this sadness happen. Pride this year was a prime example when the group needed help the most. I knew it, but was unable to help because of the difficulty I had getting there. Unlike so many of the other members, I was not particularly afraid of potential violence, I just could not do it. 

Any way you cut it though, the threats of harm against the transgender community does cause harm to those seeking to leave their closets and explore the world as their authentic selves. In the meantime, in the political arena I live in, the majority of the false negative comments about Ohio's Democratic senator involve his support of the transgender community. The ad's are false and disgusting. 

None of the political climate helps the group I am a long time member of. It has been around since 1968 and has been a pillar in the cross dresser - transgender local community. I feel bad I can not be an active supporter. 

I just hope the group can survive. 

I Am I Said

 

Archive Image, JJ Hart

One of my favorite Neil Diamond's songs is "I Am I Said". I particularly was drawn to the line saying I was lost between two shores. Neil was referring to New York and Los Angeles and I adapted it for me to signify being lost somewhere between being male and female.

The song's lyrics go on to say "I am, I said to no one there " I again felt the same way because I had no one to discuss my gender issues with other than the occasional therapist who went quickly through my life with little or no benefits until I reached a point much later in my life. In addition, the pressure to conform to the successful male life I was leading was intense. One of the few positives of my job was I was named a managerial training manager so I was able to take medium ranged business trips from my home in Ohio (yes I am from the much maligned Springfield) and travel by car to Lexington, Kentucky. Usually, I was asked once every six months to make the trip which I quickly saw as an opportunity to pack a few of my feminine items and cross dress. 

I usually worked it out with my second wife I was taking a second night at the company headquarters so I would not have to drive back at night. When I did, I was able to either cross dress and head out to one of the Lexington gay bars. It turned out, there were several back in those days, since the University of Kentucky is there. When I went out, at the least I didn't have to tell the chair or mirror I was actually someone feminine. On one occasion, I hit the jackpot and my training seminar just happened to coincide with Halloween. I thought ahead and when I packed away from my wife's prying eyes, I added a few slutty outfits to put together a Halloween "costume." The difference this Halloween was I was going to try my luck at going to a big straight club and not a gay venue. After a few wrong turns, I found the place and gathered my courage to go inside. Here I was dressed in an all black mini-dress with black heels, hose and blond wig doing my best to ignore all the guys pinching my behind as I walked across the dance floor, Since I needed to be up and fresh early the following morning, I needed to be back early to go to bed.

All along, I was learning what I was and was finding out the hard way what could happen if I dressed the wrong way. One night, I decided to stop at the halfway point on the way home which was Cincinnati. I got a hotel room and proceeded to seek out one of the more infamous gay bars in town for hookups, I thought since my black outfit worked so well before, I would try it again. This time, a very drunk guy at the bar tried to pick me up...until his wife showed up. I was embarrassed and was trying my best to back pedal from the whole situation when he made things worse by telling her why did she not have legs like mine. By this time, I headed for the restroom to hide and when I came out they were gone. As was the black outfit.

Through it all, all the lying I was doing to my wife was wrecking my moral code and when I asked who I was, I did not know. Which made the Diamond song so important to me. 

Finally, I did climb out of the pit I was in and was able to learn who I was but sadly was never able to reconcile my transgender life with my wife before she passed away. All along she was urging me to find myself and by the time I did, it was too late. I was no longer stuck between two gender shores. I had found myself and she was feminine. 

Lesbian Bars

Image from the
Jessie Hart 
Archives.

When I was first exploring the world as a novice transgender woman, one of the first big discoveries I made was the male gay bar scene was not for me. 

I initially thought going to a gay bar was a safe place to be. I found I was safe, to the point of not being threatened but on the other hand I did not anticipate being ignored to the point of being discriminated against. Since I knew the odds of anyone hitting on me would be very low, again I was lonely all the way to the point of being ignored at the bar when I tried to order a drink.  Also, I disliked being treated like a drag queen on nights when there was a show. Within a short period of time, I grew tired of the experience and looked for other outlets to explore.  

About that time, I became aware of several new lesbian bars which had opened around the Dayton, Ohio area and wondered how my acceptance would be at them. Since my sexuality had never changed from liking women, I felt more comfortable in their company and wanted to see if they accepted me at all. Not to be "picked up" so to speak but to be treated on a friendly basis. Initially, I knew of three lesbian bars of which I tried to go to two. 

The first one I tried did not accept me at all. It was a very butch dominated bar where I got in trouble for playing Shania Twains "Man, I feel Like a Woman." The lesbians huddled around the small bar did not see the humor in my choice of music. Even though I wasn't welcome, I still persisted on going back just because I was so stubborn. On the other hand the second lesbian bar I went to was a completely different experience. They were friendly to me and I felt relaxed and welcome. Plus I was surprised when I discovered my male self actually knew one of the bartenders. Her and her wife were regulars at my restaurant. 

As it turned out, I had many exciting experiences there starting with how I presented myself.  Quickly I assumed the role of a "lipstick lesbian" in my boots, tight padded jeans and blond shoulder length wig. One night I presented so well, a "super butch' (very masculine) woman approached me to sing karaoke with her. She would not take no for an answer so I joined her along with her cowboy hat for a terrible duet. Since I am a terrible singer. When I finished, my singing partner said she was surprised my voice was deeper than hers as I began to plot my escape. While she took off to the restroom, I took off to pay my bar tab and left and I never saw her again. I know my friend behind the bar got a kick out of my whole experience. 

One night I am still sad I missed was when the bar scheduled a few exotic dancers to come in and entertain. The small venue was packed as everyone eagerly awaited the show and one of the other patrons actually bought me a beer and said she ought to take me home with her. Even though I was flattered, at that time I still had a wife to go home to and time was running short. I could not stay until the exotic dancers made it, so at the least I saved the tip money I was going to use. It was to be the only time in my life I would get the chance to experience how a group of women act around dancers.  

I was saddened when the bar closed and I had fewer venues to go to but it was a time of great discovery for me anyhow. My new small circle of cis-women friends were lesbians. The fun started when I began to receive invites to come along to monthly lesbian only mixers at different Dayton, Ohio venues. Some were straight while others were gay which made going even more exciting. One night, one of my friends even asked me to approach another person at the mixer for her to see if she was with someone else which marked the first and last time I was ever a "wing person" for another woman. 

Probably, the biggest lesson I learned about the lesbian community was the different layers of people from "Baby Dykes" to "Lipstick Lesbians" all the way to "Butches and Super Butches." I found for the most part I fit in except for one night at a woman's Valentines' Dance years ago when a bigoted TERF attacked me about being at the dance at all. At the time, my future wife Liz was part of a Cincinnati lesbian social group which I tried to join also. When I was turned down, Liz left the group. 

As you can tell, I owe quite a bit to lesbians and their bars which sadly have disappeared in many areas. I know of two still left in my local Cincinnati area but there could be more I have not heard of since we don't get out much anymore. I just know the venues I went to in place of gay bars were a welcome relief to my acceptance as a transgender woman. When I combined them with all the straight venues I had become an accepted regular in, my new life was off to a good start. 

Role Model

 

Image from Averie Woodard
on UnSplash

I have a close acquaintance who is taking a giant step forward in her transgender world.

She is stepping out of her comfort zone and will apply for a new job as her authentic feminine self. I was fortunate to be at one of her first attempts to explain why she was coming out of the closet which was tormenting her so much. I remember thinking at the time how far she had to go on her journey as I wished her the best.

During the following years, she has faced the same issues as other transgender women and trans men face, from marriage issues to kids and family decisions to decide upon. She has been very open on social media about her struggles. Including public pushback when her wife and her go out to eat. She lives very close to me and I know the venues she has had problems in and I understand why. In fact, I have had some problems also in one of the venues and we never went back.

Even with all of that, she pushed on and is now trying to take her transgender life to another level. Her current job is a truck driver which of course presented it's own level of challenge at every stop she made. She transitioned on the job and literally changed  her outward appearance overnight. I really respect the courage it took for her to take on her work world the way she did. Now the challenge she is seeking is to apply for another job (in the same industry) but in a whole different job as her feminine self as a logistical scheduler of sorts. 

If she gets this job or not, she is a true role model for others in the transgender community. To step out of her old gender comfort zone and sever ties with her old life as a man is remarkable.  It's a giant step forward. 

I am far from an expert in finding a job in todays' world. But from what I am reading in Cincinnati alone there are a few companies who are LGBTQ+ inclusive and offer employment possibilities to aid in a person's transition. It's good for both parties as the company can hire a good employee and the trans person is able to take a giant leap forward and support themselves financially in their new world. 

As I circle back to the person I know who is applying for the new job, I am sure this is just the beginning one way or another for her to step forward into a life she has always dreamed of. I hope she gets the job on the first try! 

Even though I am retired and don't have to face the work world as a transgender woman, I can still see a role model when I know one. 

Transgender Safe Spaces

Image from Nicole Herrero
 on Unsplash

Yesterday was the annual picnic I have written about in the past. It was hosted by the transgender-transvestite-cross dresser group I am a member of here in Cincinnati.

Again this year, we were blessed with a wonderful summer afternoon. Attendance was good also, with a nice mixture of younger transgender women, mixed in a few trans men as well as older attendees such as myself. The group provided hamburgers and hot dogs and the rest of the food came from a "pot-luck" where everybody brings something. So there was plenty to eat including a special shout out to Wendy for her "world famous" cheesecake. Even my wife Liz and I "forgot" our diet to have a piece and it lived up to it's billing.

What also lived up to it's billing was the safe space atmosphere of the picnic. The group reserved a very nice shelter house and short speeches were given by a new group of members who traveled the distance to the state capital of Columbus, Ohio. To fight the bigoted legislators attempting to pass anti-transgender legislation. It was refreshing to see so many younger faces fighting for our rights. 

My main point is, the picnic provided a safe space for the transgender community locally to express itself. Everyone could come, relax and enjoy themselves. Exactly what the world "should" be like for us. In addition, the picnic showed us what could be if we are just left to live without any interference. 

Along the way in life, often transgender women and trans men are able to find and enjoy other space spaces. In my past, for example, after I got over my initial panic of going, the several girl's nights out I went to ended up being safe spaces for me. I was able to relax and live and learn from the experiences. I am fortunate too in that I normally have my wife Liz with me when I am out in the world. In essence she provides an interference when people attempt to zero in on me. Often I think the worst than can happen is when we hold hands in public. I think some people may have a problem with two women holding hands. However, not having another hand to hold was the biggest thing I missed when my second wife of twenty five years passed away. So I am enjoying it while I can.

Also, events such as the picnic provide various levels of acceptance for younger members who need to see older trans people who have lived their authentic lives for years. In doing so, we provide a distinct pathway to the future. In many senses we become sort of a legacy member. While the younger members are picketing the state house, other's of us such as I are becoming part of diversity committee's. Anything is possible often if we slowly try to show the world who we really are. 

At my age, for many reason's I need to take a slower path and in the meantime wait for my second piece of Wendy's cheesecake.

Toxic Femininity

 These days it seems, toxic masculinity gets all the press and it should but on the other hand does toxic femininity exist also? What form/forms does it take? 

I have always thought women have as much ego as men. Of course it just manifests itself different. I go way back to the "A" list crossdressers I met at the coming out mixers I attended. They were always huddled in their little clique and reminded me of the cheerleader types in the high school I went to. Later on I would refer to individuals such as them as "trans nazi's" They valued their self worth by the number of operations they had undertaken to secure their "trans-ness." Seemingly the trend has never totally gone away with the fairly recent wave of "I'm more Trans than you."

I used to think most of this had to do with a holdover affect from male competitiveness. An example would be since I can't out compete you in sports, I will mold myself into the most attractive woman I can.

I'm sure you all have known those women who seem to grow older gracefully and a few of them who didn't. My very own Mom had a difficult time with the graceful aging process. Some attribute the process to a hormonal balance. After menopause women have a tendency to experience a lowering of their estrogen levels which leads to a higher testosterone level. Obviously I am not an expert so it's just another theory. 

Another reason for toxic femininity could be that women operate on more of a layered existence than men. Families, kids and boys/men play a big part in a woman's ego. It's one of the reasons marriages are less likely to survive when the husband decides to transition into a woman. All of a sudden the wife does not have a spouse but now has a competitor. What will she ever tell her friends. Then again, I have known cis women in my life who have never gotten along with other women. For whatever reason. I have also met "TERFS" who have taken it upon themselves to be feminine gatekeepers and keep me from their world. 

There have been times when I wish I had one super power. I wish I could know what other women think of me when they meet my eye and glare. Sure, perhaps they are transphobic and dislike me or do they consider me competition. One night, I ran smack into a gaggle of cis women in a rest room in downtown Cincinnati. Even though the venue was heavily straight, it also advertised it's

Photo Courtesy 
Cyrsti Hart

pro LGBTQ stance, so I wasn't expecting any pushback when I used the supposedly female only space (which wasn't). One woman in particular glared at me as I went into the stall to complete the reason for my visit. As I followed restroom etiquette to a fault, I paused to wash my hands and quickly check my hair and makeup. The funny part happened when I had to dry my hands and the woman who glared at me was standing very close to the air powered hand dryer. As she glared again, it gave me great pleasure to push the button and rearrange her hair. Getting the last laugh was fun.

Even though toxic masculinity takes a more evil and often violent form, toxic femininity exists too on a different level. Unfortunately it takes a trip or two into the girls sandbox to experience it. My disclaimer is toxic masculinity can kill you. More on that in another post.  Be careful on both fronts.

Hey Lady!

 Yesterday was my time to head north to the VA blood laboratory to have my bloodwork completed. I prefer to go on Saturdays for a couple of reasons. The main reason is I can talk my partner Liz into going with me and the second is there are very few other veterans there on Saturdays. 

When we arrived, per norm, Liz had to use the women's room after the rather lengthy trip from Cincinnati to Dayton, Ohio. I didn't have to go, so I stayed behind and simply leaned against the nearest wall.  Very soon, a lone figure in a wheel chair approached.  Due to my past experiences at the VA, I have a tendency to not speak to others until I am spoken to.  Yesterday was one of those days I was spoken to first. 

The amputee in the wheel chair looked at me and said loudly "Lady take a seat." He then pointed to a group of unused wheel chair type devices next to me. I tried to politely decline several times until he finally left me alone. What seemed like an eternity, Liz finally returned and we headed for the laboratory. 

Predictably, I was second in line to be jabbed. And, jabbed I was over and over again since I had three doctors asking for blood samples. The most important one is the sample which checks my iron levels. If they are too high, I have to go to hematology for a phlebotomy which means the vampires extract a pint of blood. Second in importance is my endo hormone blood results. The levels determine  if and when my HRT meds stay the same or are increased, potentially. Finally, the third test goes to my med doc to determine if my other meds blood levels are correct. Seven vials of blood later, I was done and we were heading home. 

As we left the medical center, my new found acquaintance looked at me and didn't say anything. I thought at the least, he didn't mis-gender me. 

The trip home was uneventful.

On an unrelated topic, I found this picture of one of my earliest transgender girlfriends along with a mutual friend down in Dallas:

TDOV

It doesn't seem possible but the days are rolling by and it's time again to plan another Transgender Day of Visibility.   Recently, here in Cincinnati, I was contacted by an acquaintance of mine from the transgender - cross dresser group I participate in every now and then locally. 

For the TDOV issue I was asked if I had any ideas and/or would I participate in the Zoom meetings for virtual planning. After giving it a little thought, I figured the whole subject I could shed some light on was what happens to LGBT individuals when they have to seek out assisted living care facilities later in life. 

As I thought the whole process through a bit farther, I thought how fortunate I was  to have been able to attend two seminars on the LGBT aging subject from the person who not so long ago suddenly passed away. In more than a couple ways, I like to consider him a mentor of sorts. 

Now, if I decide to move forward, I have to come up with how I would present it. 

More Election

 Even with all the election angst in Washington which so effects the transgender experience, our representation under the LGBT umbrella in increasing. Even if it does have leaks.  An example was a link Michelle sent into the Cyrsti's Condo blog: 

"At least 843 LGBTQ people currently serve in elected offices across the United States, constituting a 21 percent increase since June 2019, according to the LGBTQ Victory Institute’s “Out for America 2020” census of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer elected officials.

Particularly pronounced increases were seen in the number of LGBTQ mayors, with a 35 percent year-over-year jump; the number of bisexual and queer-identified people, with increases of 53 percent and 71 percent, respectively; and the number of transgender women serving in elected office, with a 40 percent year-over-year rise."

Locally, here in Cincinnati, Ohio an openly lesbian woman convincingly won the county's Sheriff election over a rump supported republican challenger, 

Even with the increases, there is still so far to go. Here is more information from the NBC News post:

"“While LGBTQ people are running for office in historic numbers, we remain severely underrepresented at every level of government — and that must change,” Annise Parker, president and CEO of the LGBTQ Victory Institute, said in a statement.

According to UCLA’s Williams Institute, roughly 5 percent of U.S. adults say they are LGBTQ. According to the Victory Institute, just 0.17 percent of roughly a half million elected officials are known to be LGBTQ. The Victory Institute says that in order for LGBTQ people to achieve “equitable representation,” there would need to be 22,544 more lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people in elected office."

Thanks for sharing Michelle!

Among Other Things it's Time for Pride

With the world in agony over so many problems, it is still time to pause and remember June is still Pride Month.  The riots over the senseless death of yet another black man have reached close to home around here in Cincinnati with public curfews in the city over the past several nights. The only positive tie in between the unrest and Pride is as you probably remember the "Stonewall" riots in NYC were the beginning of Pride.

Around here too, all the many Pride celebrations have been cancelled until later in the year due to concerns over the virus. 

I simply ask all of you to join with me in remembering all of those who have gone before to secure the very tentative rights we enjoy.

Pride is Here!

At least in Cincinnati, Ohio that is. Over the years I understand, it has grown into the major event I know and this year they are expecting another record turnout. Like so many cities, LGBT Pride has turned into a week long event. Even the Cincinnati Reds (sometimes accused of being a major league baseball team) got involved.

The weather even is cooperating fairly well. High's will be in the low 80's, with the typical chance of thunderstorms. Due to my inability to stand for long wait times and then walking for over a mile, I get a privileged seat in our Official Cincinnati Witches Ball booth. Last year, I experienced tons of fun and positive interactions with the public...except the guy who thought I was Ozzy Osbourne. Over the duration of the party, we pass out information about the "Ball" which is actually a big Halloween Party and our organization as a whole.

Attire for me will be comfortable and cool, to match the weather. I plan on wearing an embroidered black tank top I have along with a pair of my distressed jeans or maybe even "Jeggings". (Legging's which look like jeans.)

Ironically, the only part of the event I dread is using the rest room. The restrooms are in a free standing building with stainless steel prison style toilets. As the day goes on, the women's room gets really gross. I keep thinking "Suck it up, Buttercup!"

All in all, if you have never been to a Pride, be sure to get to one if one is near enough to you. Times are a changing and they are as inclusive to transgender women and trans men as they once were to only garish drag queens. What I don't understand are those who complain about police being present at the Pride events. I will never forget hearing the Cincinnati Police Officer explain how last year, with the help of the Ohio Highway Patrol, they headed off a possible conflict with a man with stated goals of possible harm. It turns out he was carrying an automatic rifle.

The way I look at it though, these days, there is always a chance for some crazy to try to ruin an event and it isn't going to destroy my life!

Either way, enjoy your chance to be in an inclusive environment and enjoy yourself.

A Great Time to be Transgender?

With "TDOR" upon us (Transgender Day of Remembrance), it's easy to overlook the recent strides the LGBT trans community has made at the polls.

While indeed, it's a dramatic start, TDOR is a sobering reminder of the violence directed at the transgender community. At one of my support meetings, someone called last year's ceremony in the Greater Cincinnati area "dark."

Doesn't it have to be? I suppose too, some would argue the world as a whole is much more violence and we are just a sub portion. I don't buy that because as long as hate crimes are directed at the trans community, we are no different than other minorities. And deserve the same protections, rather than trying to take them away as we are seeing under the current administration.

The bottom line for all of us to remember on TDOR is none of us are safe from the violence. Especially those who have a difficult time "passing" naturally.

So, let TDOR be a reminder to be careful out there.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Get ready! Another wondrous edition of the "Condo" is hitting your virtual front porch. "Momma Nature" here in Cincinnati is teasing us with one of her early spring weekends before winter returns-for awhile. At any rate grab a "cup-o-joe" and let's get started!

Page One- The Week that Was - or Wasn't: As on the national scene, in South Dakota, HB 1008 one of several anti-LGBT bills conservative groups have been advancing in South Dakota, requires that every restroom, locker room, and shower room in any public school be “designated for and used only by students of the same biological sex.” The language leaves no room for transgender students, defining biological sex as “the physical condition of being male or female as determined by a person’s chromosomes and anatomy as identified at birth.”  The last I read was, the bill was within the governor's veto of passing into infamy. 

Robyn and Andrew

On the local scene, my new social security card should be arriving sometime this week as I was able to hurdle that wall with relative ease. I may have picked the right Social Security office at the right time with the right clerk (young) who seemingly understood my desire to get the process done.

Page Two- The Small Screen: Actually there is more happening on television these days than the upcoming season two of "I am Cait" with Caitlin Jenner plugging away at her life and (just maybe) her new cosmetic line. There is a show on the Discovery Life Channel if you can pick it up called "New Girls on the Block."
So far the show, as I have seen it, has done a decent job of cutting across transgender lines such as the pain of a transitioning husband and wife, two transgender lesbians in love, and more, including Robyn and Andrew who met when Robyn was Andrew's male co worker. Their friendship continued through Robyn's transition.

Page Three-Yesterday's Coffee-Opinion Jenner's Politics: (From the Advocate)

"Republicans, meet your teammate: Caitlyn Jenner. 

The transgender former Olympian turned reality star is holding firmly onto her GOP card, and from what she told reporters at the Television Critics Association tour in Pasadena, Calif., that’s not likely to change. 

Jenner

Jenner was asked why she doesn't just "support the party that supports women and women's rights?”

"Well, I really don’t want to heavily get into politics because, certainly, we have enough politics going on in the United States right now. But as I tell the girls, it’s kind of good. If the Republicans haven’t been very good on this issue — which I agree, they haven’t been.”

Well, it does look like "The Donald" (Trump) is going to need a running mate.

Page Four- The Back Page: Well kids, got to get going, we all have another busy day around here and it's time to fix some breakfast "nummers" and get to it! You are the best for coming by!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Listen up! Another Sunday version is hitting your virtual front porch. Thanks for joining in on another glorious Fall morning along the Ohio River here in Cincinnati. Lets get a hot "Cup o Joe" head out to the deck with the laptop and get started.

Page One-The Week That was-or Wasn't: My pick this week goes to the story about the YMCA in Tacoma, Washington who reversed their stance on transgender individuals being allowed to use the changing/locker room of their choice. Here is an excerpt from Connie: 

 "Locker rooms are different than restrooms, though. Personally, I would not feel comfortable exposing my male genitalia in a women's locker room. In fact, I never liked it in men's locker rooms, either. We can talk about the difference between gender and sex until we're blue (pick the body part), but it becomes all-too-confusing when standing naked in front of others. No matter what may be going on in our minds, it's more about what is in our presentation that shapes perception by others. Having grown up as a very confused child, myself, I would never want to be the one to create confusion in the mind of a child now."

I agree but NEVER should the organization involved even intimate a transgender person is the "perve" when in fact we are the ones who have been the victims time after time.

Page Two-Opinion: Seemingly, it is a huge "no-no" to compare any racial discrimination with transgender discrimination-but here goes. Should places such as the YMCA be forced to provide "separate but equal" changing/locker room facilities? Not unlike the old "Jim Crow" racial discrimination laws in the South? And, in this day of litigation everywhere, wouldn't that open the door for everyone else to do it too? Number one, I'm not smart enough to know, or two, have a crystal ball which is clear enough to tell me. But, (no pun intended) If I was provided a trans changing room-I would take it. I don't need that kind of battle! (Or embarrassment, and I too think of the kids.)

Page Three-Honey Is That A??? What a fun night last night was for all the wrong reasons. Let me explain. Liz and I were invited to a friends, son's 21st birthday party she promised him before he passed away a couple years ago. Friends and family were there, including a couple I guarantee had never and maybe never again see another trans person in their life. Outside of a long set of stares (and some glares) though all was good. 

Also, one of Liz and I's Mother Earth group members who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer was there. My heart went out to her of course on the diagnoses-but also on the number of times she had to repeat:

1. Yes, I do have breast cancer.
2. Yes,I am on Chemotherapy
3. No,I am not going to tell you how nasty that is.
4. Yes I do hurt
5. Yes I am tired and going home.

She was very gracious though and I learned a lot from her and she also is in my thoughts a lot. 

Page Four-The Back Page: Well kids it's time to wrap this up, but not before I am going to mention even another stop at the grocery store as we were heading home-in my next post!

I love you all and WHO DEY! Who Do You Think is Gonna Beat Dem Bengals!

Even Closer to Home?

Just yesterday I posted a transgender story from Cincinnati.com and today there is another.  Aside from the positive impact of this new post, the fact I also drive through Yellow Springs, Ohio at least a couple times a week back and forth to Liz's in Cincinnati.  I will explain my attraction to "The Springs" in a moment-but first the most important point. It.s called  "RAISING ZAY: A family's journey with a transgender child THE MORE SCIENCE LEARNS, THE MORE MEDICINE CAN HELP. CINCINNATI HAS HELPED LEAD THE NATION IN TRANSGENDER CHILDREN'S HEALTH. Anne Saker, asaker@enquirer.com"



Follow the link above for more. It's a very in depth and positive piece!!!

In Pads and Out

Last night the Cincinnati Bengals surprised the NFL world (and most all of it's fans) by beating mighty Denver and QB Peyton Manning.  Over a 15 plus year storied career, the Bengals had never beaten Manning.  Last night, the future hall of famer Manning looked ready for retirement in a very cold and heavy "Kentucky Rain" -in all respect for the Elvis Presley's 1970 hit "Kentucky Rain" because Cincinnati lies right across the Ohio River from Kentucky.

The real reason for this Cyrsti's Condo post has very little to do with sports though.  Last night, I also kicked into high gear finding an outfit for New Year's Eve.  Fortunately, I came up with four alternatives-two of which, were eliminated.

This year, Liz and I aren't really going anywhere really fancy or upscale, so I was looking for an outfit which was somewhat dressy but not over the top. Also, the outfit had to be comfortable, warm and include low heeled shoes. Cincinnati is not known for it's balmy temperatures in December, we could experience any kind of weather and we will have to do some walking to the places we are going. (Even after using cabs) I have a bad hip, so I can't even think about wearing my low healed boots.

What I could wear though was an ancient black stretch skirt I have had soooo long, I truly can't remember when I bought it.  I only know if I had a museum for cross dressing clothes which helped open the closet door for me, this skirt would be in it.  It even has survived a couple of clothing purges years ago.  (Come on! Did you really think I was going to throw everything out?)

At any rate, I thought a could pair the skirt with a lacy camisole top and a patterned gray and black top. The camisole's lacy trim matches the gray in the blouse.  Now, all of that sounded good in "practice" but I hadn't practiced the outfit yet and practice I did.

I rummaged through my bras and found a lacy gray push up bra which seemed to be perfect for the camisole and built up from there.  I knew already how the top fitted nearly perfect over my hips and I knew my dressy black flats would be ideal, but how about the skirt?

Turns out I saved the best for last.  "Back in the Day" I used my do it yourself foam padding to make my own hips and even made a makeshift pantyhose device to hold the pads in.  At times, I felt like I was returning to my old football days and "suiting up."  Last night though, for the first time in my HRT experience, I was able to see clearly how feminine my hips and butt area had become.  I was simply astounded. I knew it was happening (and that it takes awhile) but I hadn't really worn an article of clothing like the skirt which showcased my new feminine look.

To add to the fun, to be closer to my family at Christmas,  I have been staying at my Sister in Law's (Missy) and of course she was peeing down her leg to help? or more correctly, see.  (Classic generic curiosity)  She too was genuinely impressed with the outfit and was correctly jabbering away about the need for a pair of exotic black stockings to go with it. (Of course!)

So, I guess if you live long enough and keep on trying, the world can come full circle.  I never did want to play football anyhow. I will have pictures for you all-I promise!

If You Live Close!

Trans Ohio Meeting Photo

"All the usual" suspects and some not so "usual" (me) at last week's Trans Ohio Regional Meeting in Cincinnati last week.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Such a week kids!

In our entertainment section, I took a ride on the "A-Train" yesterday.  As some of you know, I'm a huge train buff and yesterday in Cincinnati, my girlfriend and I took in two major holiday model train exhibits.  One was at the beautiful restored "art-deco" masterpiece Union Terminal and the other was in a conservatory.  Needless to say, we had a great time!

Food Review:  Following our long walks around the train exhibits, we built up an honest hunger and decided to try out a place we had not eaten called the "Swampwater Grill".  Both of us have a taste for Cajun cooking way up here in Ohio and didn't know it but we landed up in the right place. (We seriously have a knack for that!)  The "Swampwater" has a nice selection of Cajun dishes and a chef/co-owner from Western Louisiana for all you "purists"! We enjoyed a very unlady like dinner and loved it!

Holiday:  My daughter's family is Jewish so they don't celebrate Christmas and I don't celebrate the Jewish holiday's by mutual consent, so I'm going to break bread with her clan tomorrow before they head out on a mini vacation over Christmas to the nether lands of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  A chip off the old block, I used to love cold weather before HRT ruined my thermostat.  Christmas Eve and Christmas I spend with my brother's family and then New Year's back in Cincinnati with Liz.

Comment:  You are welcome Alice for your holiday video, I was happy I could find it and thought about you! Thanks for being a regular here in "the Condo" and Happy Holidays!  By the way, I think there are fewer womanless beauty pageants on the web these days because participants know their "talent" will be spread far and wide and perhaps more than a couple don't like it-particularly at the middle school level.

Well, that's it for another "Sunday Edition"! Hard to believe Christmas will have come and gone by the next edition is posted!  In the meantime, we have a couple more neat video's to pass along!

Top Gay Cities in America

The current issue of the Advocate features their choice of the "gayest" cities in America.
I have had an interest in this ranking for several years when nearby Columbus, Ohio made the list.
I know though that being the "gayest" city often has nothing to do with being transgender friendly of course. Still, it has been interesting to me from a public relations viewpoint of Ohio. More than once I have been asked by a former Ohioian who has not been back for awhile, how I stand to live here?
Well, times do change of course and certainly there are pockets of transphobia and homophobia as virulent as any place else in the country here. But do not slap the stereotypical conservative "bible belt" tag on us all.
Of particular interest in this selection of cities was the inclusion of Cincinnati. "The Nati" (also close by) in my lifetime has always been known for a very conservative stance on almost all issues. Obviously, I was surprised and happy to see the city made the list. Especially, since I'm considering moving there this year.
As with any ranking system in any publication the Advocate has a very subjective ranking system. But does include a transgender point:
"Transgender protections 1 point for every jurisdiction with laws prohibiting discrimination, according to National Gay and Lesbian Task Force"

To check it out and see if your city (or one close) made the list, go here.