Happy Valentines Day

 

Happy Valentines Day Liz!!!

Admittedly, I have never been much of a romantic, as a former man or a woman. Over the years, I have started to change as I entered transgender womanhood. 

After my wife passed away, I was intensely lonely and began to look around for company. At first, I started by going on-line under various platforms. For example, one week I would list under woman seeking woman, then the next week, I would list under woman seeking man. In total, predictably, I received very few responses. None, I considered quality except one and her name was Liz who contacted me under woman seeking woman. She was from nearby Cincinnati.

In the meantime, I did make a couple other lesbian friends out of sheer will power by forcing myself into going out and being social. The first friend was introduced to me by her daughter at one of the sports bars I was a regular in. The daughter noticed I was always alone and thought it would be fun to do a little matchmaking.  The great part is, we still are friends to this day. 

Then one night when I was out to be alone, another woman came in to pick up a to go order and ended up sliding a note down the bar to me. We ended up meeting and she became part of a small group of women I partied with almost nightly. Plus, as I always say, these two women taught me so very much on what it would be like to live life as a woman, more than they will ever know. 

By now, you may be thinking, were there any men in my life? Yes, there were a few including all the ones who would stand me up on dating sites. I did have a couple memorable dates with guys which never went beyond the kissing stage. Even though I enjoyed being on the other side of the dating spectrum, I still much preferred the company of women. Especially when I was accepted for me. I was satisfied on where I was in my dating preferences and saw no need to change. Plus, when I went to lesbian mixers, I found I could further my preferences as a transgender lesbian.

Perhaps my biggest discovery was how many lesbians were not of the "gold star" variety which meant in their past they had some dealings with men. With me, they found a curious gender middle ground which the majority of insecure men were afraid to pursue. During this learning portion of my life, I ended up enjoying myself immensely.

What I have left out of all of this on purpose was my interaction with Liz. Through it all, we had continued to talk back and forth. Once I was brave enough for her to hear myself on the phone. We finally arrived at the point where her and a group of women friends from work were going to a drag show near Cincinnati. The drag show ended up being our first date nearly fourteen years ago. Obviously, everything went well and ten years later, we were married. 

On this Valentines Day, I credit Liz with being the only woman who ever told me she never saw any male in me at all. In many ways, she helped me back on my feet after some rough years of my life. Happy V-Day, Liz!

Eating Creole

Saturday night, Liz and I went out for our special Valentine's Day dinner. For the occasion, we went to our new favorite place to eat. A Creole restaurant which deals in all locally sourced products and features a chef trained in New Orleans. Fortunately, we placed our reservations during the week as the venue was packed.

For the evening, I went the "fuzzy" route with my over the hip green soft lace trimmed sweater, along with my patterned leggings and knee high boots. To combat the chill of the evening, I added my tan/brown fluffy faux fur sweater coat. If that is confusing to you, it is to me too! Let's just say it's warm and snuggly.

During the dinner and time we were there, we had a great time and if anyone noticed me being transgender, they didn't care or let on to the fact. Our server did a great job and the food was fantastic. I had the shrimp and grits.

All too soon, we finished our dinner and headed out the door through the crowded lobby and out into the chilly evening. Only one woman went out of her way to smile at me, I just smiled back and went on my way.

A good time was had by all. Can't wait to go back again.

Happy Valentines Day?

Valentines Day as a whole presents unique problems to those in the transgender or the cis community. To begin with, this holiday is one of those "manufactured" special days which benefit the greeting card industry as well as jewelers and candy makers. Plus, of course, let's not forget the restaurant industry.

As far as the transgender community is concerned, Valentines Day represents yet another lonely time. It's also a remembrance of relationships lost due to trans issues. Sometimes though, if you are fortunate enough to live close to quite a few LGBTQ centers, they offer some sort of Valentines mixers. If you are brave enough to go.

For the most part, Liz and I are going to miss the rush and go out tomorrow night to our favorite Creole restaurant for dinner. There is nothing more romantic than sharing a big bowl of shrimp and grits...right? :) As I think about it, due to my ongoing struggle with my weight, I will order my own bowl and bring part of it home.

At any rate, I hope you have a Valentine's Day which is memorable. If you even care.

If you do celebrate at all, good for you. You are doing your own small part to keep the economy moving!