Better Late than Never?

I am aware I have many interested readers who may share basically the same age I do. In other words, they are senior citizen transgender women and men. I am seventy two and have heard from a transgender woman who came out when she was eighty. 

Unfortunately,  I see a few people coming out with negative comments saying we senior trans people are less than valid because we came out so late in life. Before I explain my reasons why this is so wrong, let me share this comment from Georgette, who happens to be a senior and transgender: 

"Some of us may come out early, some may come out late, BUT it is important we come with no regrets and try to live the rest of our lives the best we can.

It does no good to look back and say what if BUT always look forward."

Christine Jorgensen

Thank you for the comment! I know in my case I was busy battling the "system" early in life which led to very little room for anyone to operate outside of the binary gender spectrum. In other words, boys were boys and girls were girls and there was no in between. One of the few examples of a person escaping the "gender system" was Christine Jorgensen who made headlines when at the age of 24 she began hormone injections to begin one of the first sex change surgeries. As it was referred to in the early 1950's.

Even I was too young to remember when the news was released but I know as I grew up, she was one of the only examples I could look up to .Plus, I had to be very careful how I did it because I had limited access to magazines and newspapers in the semi rural area I grew up in during the 1950's. 

Even with the obstacles I faced "back in the day" I was still able to explore my desire to explore being a girl. So you could say, even though it was impossible for me to come out in the dark ages I lived in, I still was trying.

Like it or not, there were dues to pay and luckily I was able to pay them. Including negotiating a very long military conflict (war) in Vietnam which was going on through my high school and college years. As Georgette said, it does no good to look back but referring back to my history degree, we are doomed to repeat our failures unless we understand the history behind it. So I would hope senior transgender women and men everywhere take the time to feel a little pride in what you have helped to develop in the LGBTQ community. Surely, the "T" is still feeling the pressure to conform and/or disappear but we have helped to create a voice to be heard.

I know I write quite a bit about my experiences over the years but I do it to perhaps help or (on occasion) even entertain as many of you as I can to the peaks and valleys of coming out as transgender. 

As I become older yet, my paranoia rests with my final years in an assisted care facility.  I need to look forward to making it the smoothest transition of my life which has already gone through a few major transitions.

TDOV

It doesn't seem possible but the days are rolling by and it's time again to plan another Transgender Day of Visibility.   Recently, here in Cincinnati, I was contacted by an acquaintance of mine from the transgender - cross dresser group I participate in every now and then locally. 

For the TDOV issue I was asked if I had any ideas and/or would I participate in the Zoom meetings for virtual planning. After giving it a little thought, I figured the whole subject I could shed some light on was what happens to LGBT individuals when they have to seek out assisted living care facilities later in life. 

As I thought the whole process through a bit farther, I thought how fortunate I was  to have been able to attend two seminars on the LGBT aging subject from the person who not so long ago suddenly passed away. In more than a couple ways, I like to consider him a mentor of sorts. 

Now, if I decide to move forward, I have to come up with how I would present it. 

Near Death Experience

Just when I think I have all the possible wrinkles ironed out in my transgender experience, another possibility comes along to worry about.

Last week I had an opportunity to communicate with a woman who deals in insurance and other retirement planning.  She wanted to know more about issues dealing with transgender elderly as they face long term health care. 

As is the case with many transgender people I know in my age group 70+, I am on a fixed income life with very little extra cash to play with. Years ago I lost quite a bit of money when I had to close my restaurant down. It was an especially dark period in my life when I lost my wife and close friends to death and my 401K's plus a sizable inheritance to a failed business.

These days, all I have to cover my infamous "final expenses" is a couple small life insurance policies which are good for life if I keep paying on them. My new paranoia comes from how my transgender status will effect the policies. For example. I took out the oldest policy when I was living a male life and now I have to send in all the paperwork for a name change.

Plus, most importantly of all, my basic gender is an issue... again. I am legally a female but biologically a male because I don't plan on ever under going gender realignment surgery. 

I may be making too much of an issue with this but once again I am faced with a transgender issue when I die. On the positive side, I have been researching information on the insurance front and the news was the companies are learning and adjusting to the needs of transgender individuals. So the future could be brighter.

Finally, if any of you have any relevant info, please let me know! 

Selected

Last night I was officially elected to the board of the Greater Dayton Ohio Elder Rainbow Alliance. Due to my over active activity with certain social media platforms I am almost sure I will be pushed in that direction to help out. The only problem is I may have to cut back on a few of my radical comments on the worthless liar in chief in the White House. Then again, maybe not.

Interestingly there are three other women on the board who are also veterans. As far as I know, I am the only token transgender member. My goal is to provide  quality "T" representation to the overwhelmingly LGB membership. During my screening interview, I was naive and thought the other four people knew anything at all about a transgender person. They didn't. But at the least, they can now tell their friends they have met a trans woman.

Of course, my ultimate goal is to being able to speak to elderly care facilities about caring for transgender orientated patients. In other words, the closet looms large for us who are elderly in the near future. So far, there still is an elderly summit scheduled for the area in the fall. It is all dependent on the status of the virus by then, 

Perhaps in my small way I can help.

Volunteered

Yesterday turned out to be a travel day. First, I had an appointment with my long time therapist. As always, it went predictably well and in a relatively short period of time she determined I wasn't a threat to others, or myself :). Approximately an hour later, I was sent on my way.

Perhaps you remember I was also going to meet one of the board members of the Dayton, Ohio Rainbow Health Alliance. He wanted to talk to me concerning doing any outreach programs they may be invited to in the Cincinnati area. It all worked out very well.

I told him of my transgender "nursing home paranoia". In other words, being forced back in the closet at one of the most fragile times of one's life. Or run the risk of just being abused.

Ironically. he said he was trying to work out a "training" conference currently with at least one nursing home in the Cincinnati area. I told him I would be interested in helping.

Then we talked about the importance of just being visible for transgender women and trans men. Especially during an era when so many republican administrations are trying to take away our rights across the country.

Plus,it was neat when he said the restaurant was "family" owned. Meaning it was owned by LGBT people. I noticed it immediately when I came in because of a huge rainbow flag which was in a corner. 

So, the deal was sealed over a great Italian lunch. I will help whenever I can with any transgender training sessions he schedules. Hopefully, any good karma I can build up will come back to help me in the future!