Coming Attractions

 Over the past week including a couple days coming up, I have been able to get out or at least attend events virtually. 

Friday night was the transgender - crossdresser support group social attended by twelve people including Liz and I. We have been going to the same place for years without a problem. To be truthful, the venue isn't the best on service or speed of cooking orders but everyone knows it. Even still, there are a few who make the visit uncomfortable. Overall, it isn't the easiest thing to do to reserve tables together for a group of our size.

Plus, I just was contacted yesterday concerning an alleged comment  from the DJ, about the "rude tran-ies" I figure there could be some truth to his bigotry because last week when Liz and I went to the same place by ourselves, he was glaring at us when he first arrived and we were sitting next to his karaoke set up. 

We will see if the problems will be raised by the person who told me or not. 

It's too bad because Liz and I had a great time with another transgender woman we know and her partner.

The virtual meeting is tonight. It's the monthly board meeting of Rainbow Elderly Alliance. I am sure we will have reports on Pride in Dayton, Ohio.

Finally, looking slightly ahead, Sunday is my youngest grandson's birthday and we will be making the trip up to the Dayton, Ohio suburbs for the party. It will be different because Liz and I are on a strict sugar/flour free diet we just started. So we have to pack and bring our own food. I will mention more about the diet in an upcoming post.

I leave you now with this thought:

  

Hey Lady!

 Yesterday was my time to head north to the VA blood laboratory to have my bloodwork completed. I prefer to go on Saturdays for a couple of reasons. The main reason is I can talk my partner Liz into going with me and the second is there are very few other veterans there on Saturdays. 

When we arrived, per norm, Liz had to use the women's room after the rather lengthy trip from Cincinnati to Dayton, Ohio. I didn't have to go, so I stayed behind and simply leaned against the nearest wall.  Very soon, a lone figure in a wheel chair approached.  Due to my past experiences at the VA, I have a tendency to not speak to others until I am spoken to.  Yesterday was one of those days I was spoken to first. 

The amputee in the wheel chair looked at me and said loudly "Lady take a seat." He then pointed to a group of unused wheel chair type devices next to me. I tried to politely decline several times until he finally left me alone. What seemed like an eternity, Liz finally returned and we headed for the laboratory. 

Predictably, I was second in line to be jabbed. And, jabbed I was over and over again since I had three doctors asking for blood samples. The most important one is the sample which checks my iron levels. If they are too high, I have to go to hematology for a phlebotomy which means the vampires extract a pint of blood. Second in importance is my endo hormone blood results. The levels determine  if and when my HRT meds stay the same or are increased, potentially. Finally, the third test goes to my med doc to determine if my other meds blood levels are correct. Seven vials of blood later, I was done and we were heading home. 

As we left the medical center, my new found acquaintance looked at me and didn't say anything. I thought at the least, he didn't mis-gender me. 

The trip home was uneventful.

On an unrelated topic, I found this picture of one of my earliest transgender girlfriends along with a mutual friend down in Dallas:

Trace Lysette

 Even though I had heard of Trace from her work on television, I didn't realize she is from Dayton, Ohio which is very close to my hometown of Springfield. 

Not surprisingly, Trace went through more than a few troubling times to arrive where she is today. Including losing a job at Bloomingdale after she was denied using the women's restroom. 

She underwent successful gender realignment surgery in Thailand and returned to New York to work as a dancer in Manhattan for nearly eight years.

Trace Lysette's big career breakthrough happened when she landed the role of "Shea", a transgender yoga teacher on the "Transparent" series.

On the Road Again

Just ahead of another big winter storm, I was able to safely navigate my way over the 150 plus mile round trip to see my Hematologist today (Tuesday). 

I made the trip up the highway to keep my doctors appointment at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans Hospital.  The same ones who nursed me back to health when I was diagnosed with a very high iron level in my blood over two years ago.

Today proved to be a very beneficial day. Most importantly, my blood work turned out fine again as my iron level was within the prescribed levels. As I always say, I am nothing without my health.

When I get my blood labs done, it takes approximately an hour or so to get the results to my doctor. I usually spend the time eating a much needed lunch. As I am very hungry after fasting for twelve hours so they can get a reliable test.

I was already feeling good about myself when after a considerable wait for blood labs, two guys who were sitting across from me began to talk. As they began to discuss how long one of them had waited, he said, "not as long as she has." Referring to me. He didn't know of course how much that meant to me. Years ago, in the same place was where I was referred to as a "fa--ot" by a bigot who was sitting near me.

The cafeteria continued my run of proper pronouns when I was in one of the custom sandwich lines. The guy making my sub sandwich called me mam, as did the cashier as I was headed to find a table. Lunch proved to be more pleasant when I ran into another transgender woman who I had met previously at my LGBTQ support group meeting.  We sat together and chatted until it was time for my appointment.

Even the interstates today seemed to be more mellow, even though it was because my time on the road was at non peak times. Because, I chose not to wait over for today's' support group meeting. 

They just had to carry on without me :) 

That Pesky Sunday

Before I know it, it's Sunday and another week has come...and gone.

It was very much an active week, as you may recall. It started Monday with a visit to one of my cross dresser - transgender support group's "beauty" meeting. It included visits from a skin, hair and make-up experts.  I especially liked the hair and make-up ladies. In fact. I have found the salon where the hair person works, so I can schedule and appointment. Plus, I am working to to get an individual appointment with the make-up person. I especially like her because she does not try to sell you anything, only recommends.

Monday was also travel day, when I went to my two therapists at the VA in Dayton. Ohio...a total mileage trip of approximately 250 miles. It turned out, all I really did with both appointments was answer a ton of questions about myself for a new VA computer program.  It will be interesting to see if I ever get any feedback in the future.

One day on the blog, we found ourselves in a mini alphabet quandary over the LGBTQ mythical umbrella and it's relation to cross dressers.  You can find it here.

The rest of the week was quiet in part because of not having a car to drive. Until Saturday, which was a whole other case.

Which I will discuss in a future post.

Fact or Fantasy?

Unidentified couple-Pinterest

As we make our way through life as cross dressers or transgender women, we all know there is a tremendous amount of fact, fiction and fantasy mixed in with our lives. So much in fact, it's impossible to even attempt to cover the topic in one post.

So, in this post, lets talk about the fantasy of having a generic actually dress you up as a woman. Earlier in my life, this seemed like a great idea! Who would know more about dressing me up?

Ironically, the only one that did dumped me later before I went into the Army. As I moved forward and became better at the "science and artistry" of makeup, on occasion I would be the one getting the requests for help. I still do from beginning cross dressers. While I'm flattered, I simply don't labor under the idea I'm qualified to do it.

Although I wouldn't trade that one fantasy night of being cross dressed up by a generic, I necessarily wouldn't recommend it. Now, before your spouse or girlfriend wants to seek me out and "bitch slap" me-hear me out. Many women are good at understanding what looks good on them but maybe not so much on you. My deceased wife of 25 years rarely wore makeup at all and asked me for help when she did. Also I will refer you to Maria's blog "A Cross Dresser's Wife." for a different "look" at this topic.

Then, there are the generics who sell the lines of cosmetics such as Mary Kay.  Again, a little research is in order. For example- in the Dayton, Ohio area there is a representative who has experience up to and including drag queens. Two summers ago, I contacted her about a consultation, explaining quickly I was not a drag queen. I simply wanted her to share her makeup expertise with me-woman to woman. She did, I was quite satisfied and if you are in the Dayton, Ohio area, I can share where you can contact her. Be aware though, the product line is not inexpensive.

So, if you want to dress up or be dressed up as a maid that's all good too. Often a fantasy can be better than the real thing.  And, if your dream is to be like the cross dresser at Halloween above-go for it! Just be aware fact and fiction can be mistaken for each other. Often without the best results.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk!!! Another Sunday version of our week in review has hit your Sunday virtual front porch. Yep-still very cold and very snowy where I am in Ohio. So, warm jammies and a hot cup o joe are standing by!

Page 1.- Live Long and Prosper!  Very recently, Leonard Nimoy passed away.  If you are one of the few who doesn't know, Nimoy played Spock on Star Trek which debuted in the 1960's.  The original show only lasted three years but became legendary later.  I found it interesting NBC tried to get rid of Spock's ears because of adverse "devil worship" mail. (Some things never change!) Remembering back to the original show, I knew I loved the women character's costumes and my own particular fave phrase from the show was "Beam me up Scotty, there is no intelligent life down here!"

Page 2.- Unsocial Media?  Last night, I was invited to a charity event called "Dayton Knockout". It was held in Dayton, Ohio an was a very amateur boxing event. The woman sitting right behind me has been a very close friend for years and was one of the people who was very instrumental to me increasingly coming out of the closet.  Last night, her daughter was actually one of the boxers last night. We were up on the stage, very close to the ring.  As I look at the picture for the first time, I wonder just what the hell did I get on my leggings?  The fun part was, not 15 minutes after the picture was taken, I got a text from my daughter asking (laughingly) what I was doing there.  Really? I asked her just what she was doing camped out on her computer (on Facebook?) and no, I was actually in Milwaukee. (well not really)

Page 3.- The Week that Was or Wasn't.  Predictably, transgender news was all over the spectrum.  In my home territory, Cincinnati, Ohio still seems to be searching for the real reasons behind Leelah Alcorn's suicide. We read a very positive story about young "Zay"- a story of what is possible when a transgender child is raised by understanding parents. But then comes another story of a tragic successful suicide attempt by a young transgender woman of color in Maryland- Melonie Rose. I still find it unfathomable a parent would literally sacrifice their child for being trans.

Page 4.- The Back Page.-  Borrowing a quote from yet another Sci Fi classic: "May the Force be with all of You this Week!" Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo.

Steppin Up and Out

Many of you Cyrsti's Condo readers know of my belief I am largely successful in my mtf transgender transition efforts because of Momma Karma.  What I pay forward into the community comes back three fold to help me.


If this latest outreach from the Dayton, Ohio LGBTQ organization works, I will have a chance to take another nice dose of positive karma.


Recently, the group has noticed the "T" in their name was silent and they knew very little about us and more importantly, wanted to reach out to their perception of a growing, largely invisible community of transgender women and men.  Wow!  (The Dayton LGBT group was partially responsible for bringing Laverne Cox to the area.)


So, where the deal stands now is, the group is trying to put together an initial brainstorming session with three of us. The final goal is to provide support locally to trans individuals.


Now all I have to do is find a brain that fits!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk!  It's Sunday here in the Condo and time for a cup o joe and our Sunday edition.

Page 1.- Really Chuck? Recently in a totally unbelievable moment, U.S. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel and his cronies in the Pentagon got together and hurt their backs as they patted each other for the new diversity and equal opportunity in the U.S. military.  Of course Chuck happened to forget the transgender military members who are banned from serving.  They either serve in fear of discovery which could lead to loss of jobs and careers, or are separated from duty.  For the life of me, I can not understand how this hypocrisy on the highest level is continuing to be supported by congress and especially a so called "liberal" president. How big a hole does OBama have in the White House lawn to bury his head in the dirt and ignore this?

Also on the subject of trans vets, I should get a chance to meet one of the leading transgender military activists, Brynn Tannehill (shown above) at the Trans Ohio Symposium coming up this month in Columbus.

Page 2.- Really Cyrsti?  Like a college student who puts off studying for a long time and ends up running out of time, I find myself in crunch mode for my work shop at the fore mentioned Trans Ohio event.  My basic theme is "MtF Transitioning later in Life."  I presented it  last year, so I know much more on what to expect. The real problem is my book, Stiletto's on Thin Ice" which I pledged to have done by then.  Come hell or high water, I will, but the fact remains I'm a terrible closer.  Always have had a difficult time finishing projects.  To the right is a cover image I'm working on because my budget is non existent.  Certainly, I'm not looking to get rich or win a Pulitzer Prize - I just want to do it-preferably before I die. Which leaves me approximately another four weeks.

Page 3.- "Mo" Mail!  We have had so much mail around here (and I thank you all soooo much :) I am finally getting around to answering it all.  I got to most of Connie's comments yesterday and it's time to get to more today:  Our Prom Daze post struck a cord with many including Mandy Sherman:

The 'male privilege' I was allowed was severely restricted - more like completely hogtied. Rules I had to deal with included, but were not limited to: I couldn't drive her anywhere, for any reason, at any time. We either had to take public transportation and bring a chaperone along (no public transportation available in our rural area), pay for a limousine and bring a chaperone along (the limo driver was not a sufficient chaperone), or have my father (NOT my mother - do you see a touch of discrimination there?) drive us. With the price of a limousine what it was, fortunately good old Dad agreed to being chauffeur and chaperone.

This is a great comment from Mandy and there is much more to it.  As is another comment from Connie on the same subject.  Follow the link above to see them. Perhaps all the feminists who love to bitch about the male privilege bit, just need to understand each gender's grass is never as green as you think it will be. (No cheap shots about smoking it!)

To Pat, about the "The Transvestite Diet" post: I don't don't if she did too much dieting or if was a hoax or if the wife found out, but it seems to have disappeared.  (Liz told me a day later the blog was gone.)  My question was going to be if this person was on HRT or not.  The hormones of course have a dramatic effect on weight gain (and loss).  The male metabolism slows and a few of the meds want to make you eat your wall paper off the wall or maybe even your cat.  But alas, we may never know. Plus normally when I plug someones book here in Cyrsti's Condo I get a response and I got "nuttin honey!"

Page 4.- My Grandson Speaks.  This week I posted a comment from my 10 year old grandson saying I was his hero because I was gay.  My daughter was a little surprised and said that's wonderful but your grandpa is not gay-but transgender:

Pat commented:
Good luck. It is harder to explain T issues than gay issues. I am sure that you will remain or at least regain hero status. At a minimum he will come to recognize the courage that it has taken for you to be true to yourself while still fulfilling your obligations of being his grandparent and the parent of his mother.

Thanks Pat, he is an incredibly diverse kid already.  His fourth grade teacher last year is a very out gay man and one of the top drag performers in the Dayton, Ohio area.  He was just taking the easy route to connecting the dots.  We all know the difference in light years of being gay versus transgender and once he grasps it, all he will have to do is change the wording from "hero" to " heroine" I hope.  One way or another, it will be time for a sit down talk with him and older sister this June when they are out of school.

Back Page.- WHEW! We had a lot to cover this week.  I hope the delivery person didn't heave this issue through your window!  As always....you all are the best and my special positive thoughts go out to all of those of you in or near where the tornadoes hit!  Sort of a constant reminder of how small we really are.