Memorial Day

Seemingly every year I echo the same message...Memorial Day is so much more than just a three day holiday.


Memorial Day is just the way it sounds... a day to honor our servicemen and women, past and present.

These days, it is especially important to remember the transgender troops who are being discriminated against. by the Washington led administration (coward in chief).

It is also important to remember all the troops who silently paid the ultimate sacrifice without ever having the chance to live life as their authentic selves.

Please take a moment to remember and thanks to all of you who have served or are serving.

Riding the Storm

Yesterday was one of those long days. I seemingly had something going on every hour on the hour.

First of all I had to make the hour trip to the Dayton/Springfield, Ohio area to take care of two VA appointments and do some much needed lawn work on my property.

I have a tendency to want to dress up a little bit more to go to my VA doctor appointments but simply couldn't with the work I had to do, so I had to let my makeup, hair etc carry the day.

It probably doesn't matter much except with my therapist who will mention my appearance, except to me of course and the confidence looking my best gives me.

Yesterday, outside of accomplishing what I wanted to do at the property, my stop at the VA hospital's coffee shop proved to be the most interesting. It seems, I have reached rock star status with the two women who run the shop on a regular basis. They always know my name and ask where have I been? Not wanting to be a total smart arse, I don't say roaming a hospital is not my fave sort of recreation! So I just said the truth, most of my appointments are built around Mental Health. The reason being is the Veterans Administration (while providing HRT transgender help) still channels all of it through Mental Health with an assist of an endocrinologist.

Without outing myself as transgender or bi-polar, I simply told them I was crazy, which for some reason they were entertained by. I must point out, there were no other patrons in line for all of this fun and games. Most importantly though, both of them didn't miss a beat with my pronoun usage. I was subjected to a liberal dose of "she and her" through the whole duration.

After finally getting my coffee, it was off to trans vet support group meeting time.

Nothing of real note happened there except a discussion of how difficult it was for some LGBT folks around the holidays who have been rejected by their families. In our small group, one transgender woman fits that mold and normally shares Thanksgiving dinner with a local LGBT group.

With that, the day was nearly over except for a "survival of the fittest" drive home through Dayton/Cincinnati rush hour traffic.

I am glad the day is over!

Saluting All Veterans

Being a transgender veteran myself, I would be remiss in not mentioning all transgender veterans. Including current or veteran serving/or served in the Armed Forces of the United States. When you consider the percentages of trans vets, you can not think about all of those who went before us who silently took their secret to the grave.

Plus, these days we (trans people) still find ourselves fighting for our rights to even fight for our country thanks to the current administration. Seemingly, though, those efforts have been derailed in the court system.

Transgender or not, thanks for your sacrifice.

A Pleasant Surprise!

Yesterday as Liz and I were doing some quick grocery shopping, we looked up and noticed a transgender woman manager in the store! (Krogers)

Plus, her son works at a Walgreen's which has hired a transgender man at their store. It was interesting as her son was arguing "CeCe" was a girl until Liz pointed out the pronoun guidance words of "he/him" on his name tag.

Sometimes I do believe we have come such a long way as a transgender community, only to have the disappointment of the military trans troop ban slap me back into reality.

Hopefully the courts will be able to win the day!

Can't help but wonder when and if "45" (Rump) will come after the care of trans vets.

Sad.

Transgender Veterans

Thanks to Michelle Hart (no relation) for sending along a couple of VA LGBT related links and to Lynn for checking in via the Email route! As it turns out, Lynn and I share treatment close by and she actually hails from somewhat close to Shelle's neck of the woods. ( and both are trans vets.)

Here is the first link  and the second.

Thanks to all three of you for your service!

Thank God it's Wednesday?

Well, it's not Wednesday around here-it just feels like it because of the Veteran's Day holiday-which moved my regular Tuesday appointments at the VA (Veterans Administration) back to Monday.

Recently I have been writing here in Cyrsti's Condo about my on going health situation, my gender marker advances and coming out experiences within my family.

Yesterday was day number one (of two) this week at the VA. The news was exceptionally good. I have no cancer or cirrhosis of the liver. And all my liver functions were only slightly elevated-which may be brought into line with all the other treatments I'm going through-which happen to be Thursday. My appointment was especially nice as I got the chance to admire my Doctor's ear-rings. And, for all you smart - arsses out there she is a cis-woman! (I think.)

Also yesterday,I had coffee with my brother. He is a couple years younger than I and we are the only two siblings. What I wanted to do was clear the air with him about being transgender and what that would mean for the holiday family get togethers.

He just smirked at me about the trans word and said he and his two sons have known that (or assumed) for awhile. Plus, (the best part) it's my life was my life-so who cares? 

So, the only remaining discussion point from me was, before my brother and I parted ways was: was there a certain point on the androgynous scale (for me) my Sister in Law and him would find appropriate? The answer was it was up to me. 

Cool. So all of that tension in my mind was imagined. Now I can get on  with life. Which means another visit to the VA Thursday and get my legal name change paperwork filed at the courthouse. 

Say It IS So Joe!

From the New York Times: 

"Vice President Joe Biden says there is no longer any question that transgender people can serve in the U.S. military.Biden is giving a keynote address to a prominent LGBT rights group, the Human Rights Campaign. He says all Americans are qualified to serve and should be permitted to serve.Biden is calling transgender rights the civil rights issue of our time.

The vice president's statement goes further than what the Obama administration has said before.

Defense Secretary Ash Carter has said the Pentagon's current regulations banning transgender individuals are outdated and has ordered a study aimed at ending the barrier. The White House has said President Barack Obama supports the approach.But neither Carter nor Obama has said unequivocally that transgender people should be able to serve."

Once again, is this more false hope being tossed at transgender military members. Plus, without getting too political here, if a Republican is elected, will we go back to point zero? Or worse yet another set of worthless studies which are only set up to stonewall the issue and provide a chance for coffee vendors to make more money in the Pentagon???

Transgender Vets! Uncle Sam Wants You!

Don't panic!  Don't be like me and have the reoccurring monthly dream I have about being drafted again! (Really I do!) I do know many of you have many worse dreams you don't talk about!


What I mean is there is a trans vet survey LGBT Survey currently being circulated by the VA.

They request passing along the link by email only.

If you have received crummy or great treatment during your stay in the military or now since discharge...(VA or not)  this is your chance to respond to it. OR if you are feeling trapped and alone-links are provided during the survey to help you!

Email me at cyrstih@yahoo.com if you want the link!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk!  It's Sunday here in the Condo and time for a cup o joe and our Sunday edition.

Page 1.- Really Chuck? Recently in a totally unbelievable moment, U.S. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel and his cronies in the Pentagon got together and hurt their backs as they patted each other for the new diversity and equal opportunity in the U.S. military.  Of course Chuck happened to forget the transgender military members who are banned from serving.  They either serve in fear of discovery which could lead to loss of jobs and careers, or are separated from duty.  For the life of me, I can not understand how this hypocrisy on the highest level is continuing to be supported by congress and especially a so called "liberal" president. How big a hole does OBama have in the White House lawn to bury his head in the dirt and ignore this?

Also on the subject of trans vets, I should get a chance to meet one of the leading transgender military activists, Brynn Tannehill (shown above) at the Trans Ohio Symposium coming up this month in Columbus.

Page 2.- Really Cyrsti?  Like a college student who puts off studying for a long time and ends up running out of time, I find myself in crunch mode for my work shop at the fore mentioned Trans Ohio event.  My basic theme is "MtF Transitioning later in Life."  I presented it  last year, so I know much more on what to expect. The real problem is my book, Stiletto's on Thin Ice" which I pledged to have done by then.  Come hell or high water, I will, but the fact remains I'm a terrible closer.  Always have had a difficult time finishing projects.  To the right is a cover image I'm working on because my budget is non existent.  Certainly, I'm not looking to get rich or win a Pulitzer Prize - I just want to do it-preferably before I die. Which leaves me approximately another four weeks.

Page 3.- "Mo" Mail!  We have had so much mail around here (and I thank you all soooo much :) I am finally getting around to answering it all.  I got to most of Connie's comments yesterday and it's time to get to more today:  Our Prom Daze post struck a cord with many including Mandy Sherman:

The 'male privilege' I was allowed was severely restricted - more like completely hogtied. Rules I had to deal with included, but were not limited to: I couldn't drive her anywhere, for any reason, at any time. We either had to take public transportation and bring a chaperone along (no public transportation available in our rural area), pay for a limousine and bring a chaperone along (the limo driver was not a sufficient chaperone), or have my father (NOT my mother - do you see a touch of discrimination there?) drive us. With the price of a limousine what it was, fortunately good old Dad agreed to being chauffeur and chaperone.

This is a great comment from Mandy and there is much more to it.  As is another comment from Connie on the same subject.  Follow the link above to see them. Perhaps all the feminists who love to bitch about the male privilege bit, just need to understand each gender's grass is never as green as you think it will be. (No cheap shots about smoking it!)

To Pat, about the "The Transvestite Diet" post: I don't don't if she did too much dieting or if was a hoax or if the wife found out, but it seems to have disappeared.  (Liz told me a day later the blog was gone.)  My question was going to be if this person was on HRT or not.  The hormones of course have a dramatic effect on weight gain (and loss).  The male metabolism slows and a few of the meds want to make you eat your wall paper off the wall or maybe even your cat.  But alas, we may never know. Plus normally when I plug someones book here in Cyrsti's Condo I get a response and I got "nuttin honey!"

Page 4.- My Grandson Speaks.  This week I posted a comment from my 10 year old grandson saying I was his hero because I was gay.  My daughter was a little surprised and said that's wonderful but your grandpa is not gay-but transgender:

Pat commented:
Good luck. It is harder to explain T issues than gay issues. I am sure that you will remain or at least regain hero status. At a minimum he will come to recognize the courage that it has taken for you to be true to yourself while still fulfilling your obligations of being his grandparent and the parent of his mother.

Thanks Pat, he is an incredibly diverse kid already.  His fourth grade teacher last year is a very out gay man and one of the top drag performers in the Dayton, Ohio area.  He was just taking the easy route to connecting the dots.  We all know the difference in light years of being gay versus transgender and once he grasps it, all he will have to do is change the wording from "hero" to " heroine" I hope.  One way or another, it will be time for a sit down talk with him and older sister this June when they are out of school.

Back Page.- WHEW! We had a lot to cover this week.  I hope the delivery person didn't heave this issue through your window!  As always....you all are the best and my special positive thoughts go out to all of those of you in or near where the tornadoes hit!  Sort of a constant reminder of how small we really are.

Veteran's Day 2013

Justin Vivian Bond

I'm fairly sure I post nearly the same Veterans Day piece every year here in Cyrsti's Condo and it's very bittersweet.  Most of you are aware I am a transgender veteran and do share a certain amount of entitlement to talk about trans vets.

The sweet portion of what I want to say, is a big thank you to all you vets who served or who are still are serving.

The sad portion is too many think just coming home is enough to heal the vet from a lifetime of ills. In my day, the government turned it's back (and still does) on the Agent Orange Vietnam Vets and now they are doing it again with current vets. Many are waiting for a year for the VA just to determine benefits.

The bitter portion is the most tragic of all.   Transgender service members, a significant number when compared to society's averages are fighting for the exact liberties they are denied. As we all know, the basic rights extended to the gay and lesbian troops officially weren't for transgender military members.

So it seems every year I write the same Veterans Day piece.  Hopefully next year I can change it!

In Step with Trans Vets

The Transgender Education Network of Texas is looking for trans veterans to serve on a panel at the 2013 Outserve -SLDN leadership conference. TENT needs those who can attend the Oct. 25–27 conference in San Antonio and are comfortable telling their stories but is also looking for people who are not comfortable speaking in public to privately share their stories to collect for a “public narrative.” Although “don’t ask, don’t tell” ended for gay and lesbian service members, trans personnel may still be thrown out of the military.

For more information go here.

It's "Autumn" In Cyrsti's Condo

Actually here in O_H-I-O we have officially entered "Indian Summer" and the weather as always is staking out it's claim to the end of summer with high humidity and temps near 90.

This post though, I'm referring to a different "Autumn"- Autumn Sandeen.  She is the retired transgender veteran who is working so hard for the rights of all transgender veteran.

You all probably know by now, I'm one of those vets and rely on the Veteran's Administration for my HRT needs.

So,  almost anything post I can find from Autumn Sandeen I try to pass long and here's an excerpt from the latest:

Autumn Sandeen

"When I joined the U.S. Navy back in 1980, I knew I was transgender. I didn’t know the word transgender, but I knew deep down that’s what I was. Prior to joining the Navy, in 1979, my pentecostal parents considered transgender identities and transgender expressions to be sinful, and made going to “conversion therapy” a condition of living at home. Due to my own internalized transphobia, I thought I was sinful too, so I underwent the therapy, which had the goal of having me become “ex-transgender.” A goal of both gay and transgender conversion therapy is to embrace societal gender role norms, so in my case embracing masculine norms was the goal. It should come as no surprise then that when I enlisted in the Navy in 1980, it was in part an attempt to be the man I wasn’t. Chelsea Manning, who enlisted under the name Bradley Manning—and who in August received a 35-year prison sentence for releasing classified government documents to WikiLeaks—recently gave that same explanation as to why she enlisted."

This article comes the RH Reality Check site and you can go here for more.

As a side note, Autumn mentioned she grew up in a "Pentecostal" family.  The "Penny-Cost-alls" I know would definitely consider being transgender, gay or lesbian very sinful and I shudder to think what sort of "conversion" therapy they would consider! My next post will deal with the "Pennies" and more.

Marching to the Beat of a Different Drummer

Transgender veterans Really know that feeling.
I was recently reminded vividly of how fortunate I am to be able to write here in Cyrsti's Condo of my experiences as a trans veteran and more precisely how the process works for me in my interactions with the Veterans Administration.

Perhaps you remember the much maligned "shake up" at Outserve-SLDN and the "resignation" of it's Executive Director Allyson Robinson who just happens to be a transgender woman and a graduate of West Point. The post was called I Joined and mentioned a new group called Spart*a which was forming for TGLB service members and vets.

Allyson Robinson

My dose of reality came when I joined and visited the Spart*a Facebook page. Within approximately six hours I received a confirmation message and a pledge of secrecy. I'm sort of naive now that I have been out as far as I have for a while and I thought "Whoa Dummy" organizations such as Spart*a represent what is transgender reality in the U.S. military establishment. Careers are at stake here.

Jumping back to Allyson Robinson, I'm passing along a link to a very enlightening post called Lunch With Allyson Robinson here.

Just Another Clog...

In the drainpipe of life.

Out of the clear blue hot and humid sky last week comes a letter from the Veterans Administration saying my endocrinologist bills would not be covered.

To catch all of you up who may be new to Cyrsti's Condo, I am a transgender veteran who took the VA up on it's directive to provide treatment for trans vets- essentially through HRT needs. Along the way there have been some bumpy trans roads to travel around here in Ohio. The biggest hurdle was a six month struggle last summer to get them (VA) to pay for an outside endo doc to monitor my treatment.  Ideally they were committed to do it through the directive since there was no in house specialist available. As I said, six months went by and my first two visits to the doc were paid for.

Life was pretty good.  I finally had a professional monitoring my HRT and I was able to stabilize my meds. Then of course the winds of change began to blow again.  The way my treatment works in the VA, I have a "primary doc".  The one I worked with for years up to and beginning HRT agreed to approve the in house pharmacy filling my meds- essentially a co-pay system which saves me big money I can't afford.  This spring though my primary transferred out and I'm left with a new one to break in this fall. Conceivably, he could say he doesn't want anything to do with the process and try to transfer me to someone else.  I'm not going to jump off of that bridge until I come to it.


So September again is a big month for my progression down this transition road. I have appointments with both Docs and may be fighting again for everything. Essentially my battle comes down to this: The VA is saying my outside treatment is not an emergency and I'm saying it is - plus they are directed to provide treatment one way or another..Which they won't acknowledge without a fight. But...

I have been down this path before with them and won with the help of a very capable "Patient Advocate" in the Dayton, Ohio VA. Of course now I have had my initial conversations with her to get her in the loop.

I really am positive all of this will be settled again the right way and I can put my oversize plunger away!

Plus, how much fun would life be anyway if there weren't a few "clogs" here and there?