Mommies' Little Girl

This is actually from 2010 and was reposted in 2012 and has always been received well, so here we go again. It was actually called, "What Kind of Daughter Did Your Mom Want?"

This picture was from the end of
my "blond period" about 5 years ago
and was only taken as a response to
those "who wanted to see more of me"
As you can see the quality is terrible.

"Yes girlfriends, I'm talking about us. Some Mom's really wanted a daughter and dressed some of us as girls. Some Mom's may have found it interesting to relate to us on some level as a girl and let us in on a little makeup or clothes. Other Mom's may have shut us out all together.

All of the mother/son interaction intrigues me because of a couple of reasons. The first would be the simple question of why me? Did my Mom set me up for all of this? (My brother believes she did). The second would be is how much I look like her. How many of you believe your Mom knowingly or even unknowingly opened your door into a female world? I remember vividly the way my Mom blotted her lipstick and made sure the rest of her outfit was together before she went out. I would bet you my brother doesn't!

 The age old question-environment or genetics? Was I predisposed to be trans? Most likely it's a question I will never know. (Update! Perhaps the DES drug my Mom very well could have taken during her pregnancy could been the answer.) Maybe the whole "daughter" question explains my total lack of respect for women who do not take care of themselves. This girl was raised believing that appearance was part of the female gender.

My Mom passed away years ago and I believe in two sure facts. She would like the fact I try to keep up a good appearance. She would hate the fact I'm a lot like some of the girls I brought home she didn't like and live a very wide open lifestyle. Neither Mom or me or even my daughter are shy women."

How to Identify a Trans Woman

Bobbie sent me a link on a very interesting post concerning a very proud view of how to identify another transgender woman, from a possible "admirer". The post is I think a couple of years old and is approximately a six minute read. It specifically goes into a few of the challenges we face as we try to make it in a feminine world. Here are a couple excerpts. The first considers height:

" Height is perhaps the easiest thing to look at first. Trans women are generally much taller than their cisgender peers. The shortest trans woman is invariably of “average” to “above-average” height for a woman. So, a trans woman of “average” height compared to other trans women is downright statuesque when compared to her cisgender peers.Unlike high fashion models, whose height often accentuates their frail frames, the height of trans women speaks only of excellence, and fortitude. It is a height that comes from an unrelenting and undaunted pursuit of freedom and justice. Trans women shine out, like a beacon of this freedom and justice, over the forces that seek to see them bent or broken."

The second is legs: "Now, obviously, height alone won’t get you very far. After all, there are some — not many, but some — statuesque cis women. That’s why, after considering height, you need to move on to a more fine-grained analysis of the women around you. For example, you might take a moment to look at the legs of the women around you.

Trans women have incredibly long legs. In addition to their length, trans women’s legs are often firm and unyielding — particularly when it comes to their quadriceps and calves. Some say this is due to the effects of testosterone. However, those who have been around for a while know that this is not the case. The truth is trans women have powerful muscular legs because they carry with them a near immeasurable amount of self confidence every day. Self confidence that would weigh your average cis woman down. 

Laid over this raw power, there is also a softness — a downright sensualness —that amplifies the attractiveness of trans women’s thighs and calves. The legs of trans women are not all harsh angles and strength. They are supple, and smooth, and graceful.

Trans women have the sorts of legs that make you think, “She could snap someone in half with those!” And, if you really want to be certain that you’ve found a trans woman, look for the legs that, regardless of your gender or sexual orientation, make you wonder if the woman in question might snap you in half, if you treated her well and asked nicely."

Thirdly there are shoulders: "But of course, these sorts of powerful, beautiful legs are not entirely unique to trans women. Some cis women have rockin’ legs. That’s why you should also look closely at the shoulders of the women around you.

Trans women have broad, elegant shoulders. You know those power-shoulders women often talk about wanting? You know, the kind that say, “If you screw with me, I will flip you over my head into the nearest trash bin?” Trans girls got ‘em in spades. You’ll notice these immaculate, commanding shoulders peeking out from workout tanks, stretching out below elegant necks, and mirroring the width of the owner’s hips."

And faces: "trans and cis chins are often different. The chins of trans women are usually slightly larger than those of cis women. This is no accident. When trans women raise their chins up slightly, they want to be sure that the gesture thoroughly conveys the sense of personal pride that they have. A smaller, more petite chin can convey pride, sure. However, such a diminutive chin often conveys pride of the aristocratic or elitist sort. On the contrary, the pride that trans women have is a wholesome, blue collar sort — the sort of pride earned through a hard day’s, or a hard life’s, work.

Trans women likewise often have a stronger jaw than most cis women. This comes from years of practice in being, and looking, determined. Through the countless occasions in which trans women have to set their jaw and push forward with composure and grace, it inevitably develops a certain width and breadth that says, “I know who and what I am, and what I am is unstoppable.” This sort of determination is hard won, and so trans women wear it for all to see."

Finally (for this post) the author puts it all together: "However, you can be relatively sure that you have found a trans woman when you have found a woman who stands head and shoulders above her peers; who is powerful and sensual; and who commands respect. You can be sure that you have found a trans woman when you have found a woman who is proud of herself; who is determined; and who is intelligent, brave and revolutionary."

This is not all there is to this post written by Galen Mitchell. You can read the whole post here. Thanks again Bobbie for sending along an interesting different look at transgender women!

Candis Cayne

Remember transgender actress Candis Cayne? I first saw her on the TV series "Dirty Sexy Money" She performed in drag in New York City nightclubs beginning in the 1990's. After coming out as transgender in 1996 she went on to play the trans mistress Carmelita on the ABC series on 2007.

 

Playing with Dolls

Perhaps you remember Roddy Alves who went through all the expensive and painful surgeries to resemble a human "Ken-Doll"? Well, he became tired of being Ken, and now wants to be Barbie:

A Triple Transition?

I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo how I believe I have transitioned twice in my gender journey. The most likely transition was from cross dresser to transgender. It took me over a decade to finally decide I could make the decision to live a full time feminine existence. For me, starting hormone replacement therapy sealed the decision. In a relatively short period of time, it became impossible to hide the changes in my body. I know too, others who have not needed hormonal assistance to make the transition. 

Now I think there is a third gender transition on the journey, To be fair, like so many other ideas here in the Condo, I picked this up from a Tweet I read on one of my email feeds. The person was explaining how she had transitioned from what her previous male self had thought she would be all the way to what her feminine soul knew she was. 

I thought, Wow! That was me, When I first began going out and exploring the world as a transgender woman, I spent way more time on worrying about how I looked rather than how I felt. In fact, if you go back to the earliest days of this blog, you will notice a definite difference in an underlying theme. Again, it was appearance over feelings. 

Of course, living full time did have a lasting impact on me. Having to plan a wardrobe out of only feminine clothes for days, weeks, months and years has taught me what I needed to transition from what my former male self thought would be appropriate to what my inner woman told me what I really was. For what it is worth, my partner predicted the very same thing would happen years ago when she asked me what kind of a woman would emerge. 

Who emerged was a person who wouldn't normally leave the house without some sort of makeup but wasn't the extreme picky fashionista I used to be. In other words I could be described as a "lipstick lesbian" a little mixture of leftover butch with a touch of makeup. 

The interesting part of all of this speculation is the fact I am still evolving in my journey when I think it is nearly over.

Who knows, maybe there could be a fourth transition other than death. The ultimate one.  

Boredom

Indirectly I have found an outlet to relieve some of my boredom. I decided for a change to respond (and accept) more friend requests from my Facebook Messenger app. 

In the past, I only basically accepted women (trans or cis) or someone who lived close geographically to me. Recently though, I have opened up my friends list a little. Even still, I have only 840 "friends" compared to the thousand plus others I know have. 

Results have been predictable. Several of my new "acquaintances" have massaged my vanity by telling me how good I looked and how much they liked transgender women. One in particular wondered how often I made it to New York City. I told her I worked for a couple years in the NYC metro area but hadn't been back for decades, Plus, right now with all the virus happening around there, I don't think it would be my fave place to visit anyhow. I found out too my attachment to younger lesbians continues. Or their fascination with me. I had one supposed 24 year old in Quebec wanting to send me sun bathing pictures. And another in Florida who wanted to see sexual pictures of my partner and I. I just immediately blocked her and laughingly mentioned it to my partner Liz. 

Then I have the ones who busily want to chat, start then rudely disappear without saying anything. I suppose they realized quickly how boring I really am. And, there was a guy named Joe who is my age who would try to chat later in the evening and then (I think) fall asleep in his chair. 

Probably the most interesting chats I have had came from a couple different sources.  One of which was a trans woman who supposedly lives only about 20 miles away. She started an active chat then abruptly ended it, never to be heard from again when I asked her if she had ever heard of the cross dresser-transgender support group I am part of. Maybe she was and that is why she ended the chat :). Then there was the 27 year old medical student in relatively close Lexington, Kentucky. She was attracted mainly to older lesbians. 

Finally, there was the middle aged bitter transgender woman from Ontario, Canada. She has suffered through many genitalia related problems through her life and I suppose if I had gone through it all, I would be bitter too. 

All in all, Messenger has shown me the world is indeed an interesting place, especially if you are like me and take nearly nothing I read with a grain of salt. Excuse me now, I have to go. My messenger just dinged on my phone. :)  

Mini-Me?

I write often here in Cyrsti's Condo about my "30 something" daughter. As I transition ever further, it turns out now couple of my friends now have met her-with interesting reactions. If you don't know, she has completely supported me as a Mtf trans woman.

The first was short and sweet-literally. "Your daughter is-well-short!" Yep, her Mom and my Mom worked hard to get to that 5'2" mark. My daughter did not escape the height part of genetics.

On another plane, it seems she did.  The other comment was "Don't take this the wrong way but your daughter is so-normal." And no, the person was not equating being transgender with normal in any way. In fact, the commenter was a transgender woman too!

So it seems my daughter is doing a great job in hiding the fact that once you know her and she is not tied down with three kids, there is no mistaking whose kid she is!

Poor kid, the apple didn't fall so far from the tree and no Connie-not because it was rotten!

Back to the "Lion's Den?"

The other day, Liz came up and we again went into "attack mode" working on the lengthy process to sell my house.  Later in the evening, we "celebrated" with a drink.  The problem is, in my smallish town, there are only two venues I feel right about supporting and they were closed.  Our option was driving twenty minutes one way to the venues I normally go to.

Finally, I thought "what the hell" and we went to the place where many years ago I had the cops called on me for using the women's rest room.  I just wanted to enjoy a couple "adult beverages" with Liz.  As luck would have it, the same bartender was working last night and we got to talk about "where I had been" In all fairness to her, she didn't call the cops back then.

Plus, since that time, I have gone through many MtF HRT physical transformations in the couple years since I have seen her. Also, even in the backward conservative town I am from, the populace is catching up to what a transgender person is.

So, in and out we went and in some small way, I slayed another one of my smaller dragons.  Will we go back?  Only as a last chance.

Steppin Up and Out

Many of you Cyrsti's Condo readers know of my belief I am largely successful in my mtf transgender transition efforts because of Momma Karma.  What I pay forward into the community comes back three fold to help me.


If this latest outreach from the Dayton, Ohio LGBTQ organization works, I will have a chance to take another nice dose of positive karma.


Recently, the group has noticed the "T" in their name was silent and they knew very little about us and more importantly, wanted to reach out to their perception of a growing, largely invisible community of transgender women and men.  Wow!  (The Dayton LGBT group was partially responsible for bringing Laverne Cox to the area.)


So, where the deal stands now is, the group is trying to put together an initial brainstorming session with three of us. The final goal is to provide support locally to trans individuals.


Now all I have to do is find a brain that fits!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" It's time for another Sunday Edtion here in the Condo hitting your virtual front porch.  It's yet another beautiful fall morning here in Ohio

Page 1.- The Week That Was-or Wasn't. As I have written, for all intents and purposes, my Halloween for this year has come and gone.  While there are a few "activities" all next week, I'm not so sure if I could survive attending!  As promised there are a few "glimpses" into my escort "Ziggy" and I's attire at the Columbus, Ohio "Highball" Halloween bash Friday night: Including this very "ghostly one!

Page 2.- Another Way to Come Out?  Don sent this story in from "Yahoo Parenting" and the Tampa Bay Times:  Mass emails and robocalls to parents are usually about school closings or conferences, but on Thursday, J.W. Mitchell High School principal Jim Michaels had a different sort of announcement: Robert Konrad, a social studies teacher at the Pasco County, Florida, school, was beginning a gender transition. “Mr. Konrad has begun the process of gender transition and is anticipating presenting as a female no later than August of 2015,” he wrote in an email, according to the Tampa Bay Times. “As you can imagine, this is a very private decision, but Mr. Konrad has indicated that he will respond to appropriate questions you may have about the transition process.” Definately not old school!

Page 3.- Time Marches On.  Last week we briefly touched on the subject of 14 year old transgender teen Jazz Jennings being named  to the "Time Magazine" list of the top 25 most influential teens.  On the other end of the time spectrum, I read a story recently I didn't know at all, or forgot. (maybe?) From the Own Network: 

Add caption

Even today, there are a lot of theories surrounding Teddy Pendergrass’ car accident. All we really know was that the singer was riding with a transgender woman and was subsequently paralyzed from the accident. The people at OWN, tracked down Tenika Watson (left) , the woman who was riding with Pendergrass the day his life changed forever, told OWN’s cameras, “I never really got a chance to tell my side of things and it was important to me. Very important to me.” -

Follow the link for more!

The Back Page!  I have finished my first cup of "Joe" and it's time to get "Ziggy" (Liz) and crew moving to get out and enjoy this day!  Wherever you may be, I hope you can too!

Cyrsti's Condo "Up-Date"

From the Advocate:

Punk rocker Laura Jane Grace will be giving fans a taste of her new documentary series True Trans.

Being a transgender rock star can be utterly confessional work. The public eye scrutinizes, while the urge to make impactful art pushes one to self-examine relentlessly. Both gender transition and songwriting are deeply private and idiosyncratic, even while simultaneously calling an artist to share their evolution with the world, baring their inner life in the hopes that the self and others will feel reflected, unburdened, or enlightened.

This push-and-pull is undoubtedly familiar to many trans performing artists, but this year has been rendered achingly real by Against Me! front woman Laura Jane Grace's ongoing public journey and new album Transgender 

Follow the link above for more!

The public transgender women and men who are continuing to tell the world about us--I hope have some of the idea of the wonderful work they are doing!

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Everyone likes to have a little fun.  Perhaps you have noticed I have stayed away somewhat from my own cynical cross dresser captions here in "the Condo". Partially it is because after nearly three years doing this "someone" emailed me and told me to take a picture of a person down off the blog.  Which I would have, if they had told me which picture it was. Nearly 99% of all the pictures I use off of Pinterest - who aren't  Mtf transgender or androgynous models, don't have a name there at all.  So if you have a picture that I have used and you can show me it is you, I will gladly take it down...

In the meantime:

My first pic is called "Well honey, there was another woman. I just never told you it was your hubby!"

The second:
                                                    "Ruh Roh"! My wife wasn't kidding! She did bring home a blind date for me!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is the striking MtF transgender woman Kayla Ward.  HRT and a little surgery here and there has been kind to Kayla!