Showing posts with label stealth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stealth. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 8, 2021


 This comment comes from "Georgette" in the "Medium" platform:

'WOW, Lay it all down on the "Not so Visible" TS/TG people that in the past just wanted to live some semblance of an everyday "normal" life,

I won't use the word "stealth", as for me that means something different, Something akin to "witness protection", Where someone breaks off all contact with anyone from ones past life, Which at one time that was encouraged and almost required,

My partner and I made no hiding of the facts to our families and work, Infact I transitioned at the same work center and with anyone that cared in the company (a fairly large corporation), I was not hidden away but worked at a variety of company sites (mostly all Dept of Def), And would also travel to other areas of the USA to work on special projects,

I may not have been out to all as in telling my background (as in anouncing here I am the TS), But is that really necessary,

We didn't purposely avoid any contact with others, There were NO actual TG/TS support groups that I knew of locally, But around 1985 we just made no effort to keep up with the local CD groups and stopped going to all the Lesbian clubs, We just settled in as growing old as two women together,

And yes I see those arguments on-line of an almost hierarchy of TG/TS, Such a sad state of affairs,

I'm glad you still have a loving partner, And I may feel envious you still have one (mine dying in 2014 after 39 years), Too often I meet the ones that have lost/divorced/or who never had one, But you state that you seldom go anywhere without her, My loving partner and I would have many adventures outside just the two of us,

Since my loss I have come back out to a LGBT+ world that I am trying to figure out, And will tell my long background to any that want to hear it, I may still not be obvious to the non-LGBT+ world but don't really hide it either.'

Thanks so much for the comment!

Saturday, January 18, 2020

To Be or Not to Be

Don't worry, this post won't be influenced by Shakespeare and you are not back in high school literature class. In this case, the popular phrase involves coming out as stealth.

Wait? Can you come out as stealth? Isn't that a "Catch 22?" It is but it isn't.

When and if you are in the position to live "stealth" as a transgender woman, should you do it? Remember "back in the day" stealth was the only way to go once you had gone through genital realignment surgery. You were expected to move away and start your life all over again. In many ways, the whole process ignored the basic premise that sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears. I am a prime example. While it is true I have been living full time as a woman for years now, I have no desire to have any invasive surgery.

Now I find myself again  at the crossroads of going stealth...or not. It would actually be a fairly easy decision. The cross dresser - transgender support group I am loosely involved with is increasingly imploding. As a result of a high drama split up, we now have two similar but separate groups. The most recent example of the in fighting was the Thursday night social Liz and I went to. Before the split up we could expect approximately twelve to fifteen diverse individuals. Since the other group decided to have a social the same night, they had ten attendees while we had seven.

So now I am encountering the same small group of people I actually have very little in common with. The only reason I started going was because of the chance to meet new and interesting people. Thursday night the most interesting person I met was a cis woman who was entranced with me enough to smile and say hello. Any number of factors could have been in play. Probably she knew I was trans and her and her feminine friend approved. Or they could have been lesbians too and saw Liz and I holding hands. Then again, maybe she was just laughing at me. Which didn't seem to be the case.

The main force behind me not just saying to hell with it all, is my underlying desire to help anyone who needs it who may find themselves on the same path as me. Plus now I need to see how my upcoming meeting concerning LGBTQ aging issues goes.

If the past is any indication, I probably will continue to not to be...stealth.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Life Turns on a Dime - Part 14

You are right, I am superstitious to an extent and am skipping Part "13" and going straight (well maybe not so much) to Part 14. I suppose too having more parts seems more impressive unless you refer to the old "Parts is Parts" slogan.

Truthfully. I am almost up to the present day and am trying to come up with a fitting end to all of this which doesn't have an end.

At my age now, (67) the terms stealth, networking and nursing home come into play many times.  I finally have come to the conclusion that I'm stealth in every essence of the word and anti stealth on the blog. Which when you think about it has been the story of my life...yin and yang.

This Spring I am going to try to network myself out more as a possibly speaker and participant in other transgender support programs. Something I have wanted to do for ages and I do think most of the world is becoming more and more receptive to the "T's" of the LGBT community.

As far as senior transgender health care goes, I suppose my care is as much up in the air as any else's these days. My paranoia is being shoved back in a closet I have worked so hard to get out of in my final days. I know now there are still laws to protect me, but for how long, who knows.

Finally, the only proper way to finish this "epic" up is to say, the past has been quite the trip. I just hope I keep punching my ticket for a brighter future!

Thanks for being along!

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

You Can't See This Post

This post is in "stealth" mode. "Stealth" is yet another facet of the transgender world that- well- fly's under the radar. By choice, you don't read or hear much about it. In my entire experience as a cross dresser,  after  I began HRT and transitioned into my life I lead today, I have never had a person come up to me and introduce themselves as a "stealth" transgender or transsexual woman. Of course, that would defeat the purpose. Why would they?

Perhaps one of the next best things happened to me today when I ran across a look from the "invisible side" from Helen Boyd's Blog, (if don't follow it-you should. What caught my eye was her post entitled "Important Stealth Voice." At that point, I jumped over to her blog and then discovered her link to another blog by Natasha from Australia called "Here, let me Show you my Scars."

When you have a chance, it is worth a visit to both of their blogs!

One final word on being "stealth". It's a huge difference than being alone. After Bruce Jenner's interview Friday night, one of the Cincinnati television stations spoke with a local trans woman who talked of being totally alone. Immediately, Liz and I tried to reach out into the local trans community to see if anyone knows her. We would be more than happy to meet her for a cup of coffee. But so far, no one seems to know anything about her. Seclusion does not equal stealth these days. It's an outmoded idea in many places.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

KER PLUNK! Did you hear yet another Sunday Edition hitting your virtual front porch? The "Joe" is hot and brewing on cool fall morning here in Ohio-so here we go!

Page 1.- The Week Which Was-or Wasn't.  Last week here in the Condo, we didn't particularly head down any new paths but we did revisit a couple older ones. One came compliments of an old cross dressing friend of mine who purged back in the 80's and professed a certain amount of pride while hiding a ton of frustration. At any rate he delighted again in one of the rare stories about a transgender woman who went through SRS, only to learn she wasn't trans at all.  Which resulted in a better comment from Michellewhois than mine!
It's bad enough for a woman trying to make a living while competing with men let along trying to maintain some sort of semblance of sanity with all the rest of what women have to contend with. The one thing that I am amazed at is the amount of people that publicly state they want to go back verses the amount that either just blend into the background or are never heard from again. That was a discussion I remember back in the early 90's with trans women, "To stealth or not to Stealth". Next time your friend brings the subject up ask how many people he is talking about and how many of them he knows personally. Also ask him how many he knows personally that have completed their journey and are very happy with their lives.

Thanks Michelle! Ironically he does know two who went through SRS. The one who was incredibly well adjusted and successful before and after in her life-he doesn't mention.  The one who most likely should have not done it, is always brought up.  She was very a much an A-listed bitch as a cross dresser and as we know you can't surgically remove that.  The two are interesting MtF studies in that they were similar in age, friends and could both blend easily into the world. 

As far as the "girl's sandbox" goes, I agree with Michelle that as soon as a potential "transitioner" comes to the conclusion a woman's' life is so much more than pretty clothes plus sugar and spice and everything nice...then it's time to move forward.

But, when you put the store bought vagina ahead of societal adjustments of living as a genetic-then the problems begin. 

Page 2.-  "Give us a Head of Hair!  Doesn't really matter which direction we take to get there-a wig or our own natural hair, in order to put our best look forward in society, we are in the same boat as any genetic and maybe even more so.  I'm guilty as charged of dearly loving my hair but constantly remind myself of how fortunate I am to possess it.  Of course I couldn't if I worked almost any of the jobs I had in my life.  Ironically my hair was like a dormant seed waiting to grow. With a little fertilization from HRT-grow it did!  I know though, most of you can't do what I did but still need to do the best you can with what you have to work with.  These days there are many on line sites which sell wigs-in expensively-which I don't trust as much as seeing a potential purchase up close and in person.  I know it takes an incredible amount of courage to find a wig shop and shop there, but...the last thing you want to happen to you is what I observed on the cross dresser in the mall so many years ago.  She had her presentation nailed in so many ways, except her neck hair (and neck) peeking out from a very ill fitting wig.

Page 3.- Another Damn Label?  Yep! It's mine kids, but feel free to use it.  I became tired of using expansive often wasteful energy using labels just as female, baby makers, women, genetic women etc- so now here in Cyrsti's Condo I am going to refer to a human born with a vagina as a "genetic." Yes I know there are females born "vagina less"  so no, you don't have to bring that up to me!

The Back Page.- Damn! I'm Old!  It's official-I'm 65.  As I look back, there were several constants. Along the way, some sort of guiding force wanted me to get here.  I try to thank and repay that force daily.
Finally, I envisioned this grand party in step with my past party lifestyle.  The problems were finding enough friends who were still alive  and -staying awake myself!


Saturday, August 23, 2014

Stealth and the "Pink" Pickett Fence?

For those of you of age, you grew up watching the iconic mothers of the 50's and early 60's like June Cleaver.  Mom's were the stay home types who kept the household running and had the dinner ready when hubby came home.  My Mom wasn't like that (school teacher) but almost all my friends mothers were. So the feminine stereotype so aptly pictured by our unnamed cross dresser below was alive and well.

Then Dr. Stanley Biber burst upon the scene as one of the primary sexual reassignment surgeons in the U.S. Biber performed his first sex change operation in 1969 after a transsexual woman asked him if he would be willing and able to do so.  Biber retired in 2003, at age 80, because his malpractice insurance premiums had risen to levels which he could not afford, probably because of his advanced age. Marci Bowers, a gynecologist and transsexual woman herself, took over his SRS practice. Biber was hospitalized in January 2006 with complications from pneumonia, to which he succumbed on January 16 while hospitalized. Biber was 82 at the time of his death.

Deserved or not, one of the basics of going through SRS from the Dr. Biber's era of thinkers was the newly "minted" woman should go forth into the world, find a man, have sex with him and disappear. (stealth) For God Sakes as Ophra used to say "why would you want to buy a new car (vagina) and not drive it?" (At the risk of getting too "X" rated, my lesbian friends tell me they could drive my "new car" better than any man." )  

Is the Dress too much Dear? Cyrsti's Transgender CondoBut the question of even needing a "new car" doesn't define who I am or my life.  I know I can't meet the budgetary constraints of a store bought vagina or want to think of the health considerations at my age.With or without the new car, I have been shown a path to a wonderful life I never dreamed I could have.

So now, do I just walk away and go stealth or is there another road for me? I believe there is and it's in the example I mentioned in an earlier blog post about how I'm beginning to market my Etsy shoppes.

In the beginning of course, I did use my name and my male name only came into play when legally I had to use it behind the scenes because I had not changed my gender markers. (It all made for some interesting calls to Ebay, who were cool.)

Now, as I said, I'm seeking a broader social marketing base and it could be said I am in some sort of stealth mode because I don't say "Hey! this shop is a TRANSGENDER owned business."  But, I don't hide the fact it is either.  My hope is, that again the world sees me as just another person trying to make a go of it.

Maybe I'm naive enough to think how I identify would not make or break the sale of a vintage vase or comic book.  If it did, the person could go to hell, but overall I think of it as my one small Laverne Cox style statement:  Think of me first as a person you respect and oh yeah-I happen to be transgender.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Is That All There Is?

The last couple of days, Liz and I were busy running errands in my hometown for a change. The mere fact of doing just that puts me in direct conflict of where my androgynous self still goes. In rapid fire order, we went to three places and I received no negative attention-none-nada.  My hair was down, I was wearing minimal makeup, a tank top, flip flops and a pair of my distressed jeans rolled up.  No big deal to get ready and go.

Needless to say though, I still felt trepidation.  The places we were going were the spots where I have received "push-back" in the past when I visited as a cross dresser, androgynous or feminizing transgender woman.  Turns out, I was wasting my energy.

When we got back home, I had a chance to talk about it with Liz.  As I have always written here in Cyrsti's Condo, she has taken me for granted as a trans woman from the first time we went out on a date.  Her only drawback is she expects the rest of the world to do the same. This time they did and she said did I hear what the one guy at the store called us- "Ladies."  I laughed and said, I am deaf but not deaf enough to hear that!

Look, I'm not saying my future as a woman in the world is coming full circle but every once in awhile, I get a glimpse that indeed it is.  Then I wonder do I become a victim of my own words and thoughts?  To put in the terms of our culture-if I do begin to present and or pass as whom I always wanted to be, will I become a hypocrite and go stealth?

Pewter Transgender LGBT Gay Pride Triangle Pendant (306)
I'm thinking yes and no. Yes because I conveniently "neglected" to wear my "transgender symbol" necklace. (left)  In my "pea brain" that is a step towards stealth because I didn't want to explain to anyone what the symbol meant.

No, because in reality, I have a whole lot of life to live and a huge amount of "blind curves" ahead. So the incredible freedom and accomplishment of the other day could be as fleeting as the beautiful summer day we are having.

One way or another though,   I'm sure I can still find plenty of transgender issues to be involved with.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Good morning all and welcome to another Sunday edition here here Cyrsti's Condo. Right off the bat, we will pay homage to Paula's Place and all you other ladies from the UK who used to have paper rounds.  (What we call paper routes here.) Paula mentioned she used to deliver her papers with a pair of panty hose on under her pants! It's a good thing we don't have a paper route or round this morning Paula, we are stuck yet again in another winter storm!

Page One.- Opinion.  It's not as if I don't always have tons of opinions but this week seemed to bring out the worst of mine this week. One of which actually involves a post on labels in Paula's Blog (which you can find above).  I have no problem and even concur with Paula's ideas but an off the wall comment about being called a "lady" in public by a person I have seen writing in many places sent me into orbit- or more precisely almost into on line stealth.  Simply, with all the problems we transgender women and men have in society, all she can bitch about is being called a lady and her botched SRS.  To be sure, I don't think there could be a worse feeling than believing you made the wrong decision to go "under the knife" and change your genitalia and I have had my share of genetic women friends who laughingly recoiled at the "lady" word.  For me though, I still get a case of the "warm and fuzzies" when a stranger in the world calls my partner and I Ladies. Finally, the person who believes she had a botched SRS, she doesn't necessarily mean the surgical work as much as the psychological process.  I just have never perceived her comments as constructive. The whole process reminded me of when a stealth trans woman years ago told me she went underground because she couldn't take all the insanity in our community.  I did get out of the Google Plus group she was in and I wish her well.

Page Two.- Victory!  Same sex marriage took another step towards legality in Texas this week and in Arizona, the governor vetoed a blatant attempt to pass a discrimination law against TGLB individuals.  However, in Mississippi, a similar law is making it's way through the state's legislature.  I did hear though, the one here in Ohio has been pretty much buried. Ironically, a couple very strange bedfellows came together to help squash the bigotry, and timing was everything.  Without expressly saying it, the word was the NFL and the NBA were against the law in Arizona.  Of course very recently, both are dealing with opening gay athletes, with surely more to come.  Unless you are just dense, TGLB business is good business.  We do have two NFL teams in Ohio (although we aren't sure about Cleveland) and Columbus is on some sort of a long list for an NBA team.  Discrimination and hate is simply not a good way to build commerce in your state. The largest exception of course is Fox News and Clear Channel Radio who make a good living with hate mongers.

Page Three.- We Got Mail!  I can normally count on Pat for a comment or two which give me a pause for thought or even a giggle.  This week I wrote a post about what was in the bottom of a purse I was cleaning out - a Tampon. Why? In the past, I have had less than accepting genetic women approach me in not a gentle manner asking if I had a feminine product they could use. I got the distinct idea they didn't really need one but really did need to question me.  At any rate, Pat's comment was "Why would a woman my age carry one anyhow?"  Ha-ha!  I loved the comment and said so, which led to this response:
I know that you present well less than your stated age. I think that one of the lures for my dressing is that instead of presenting as a tired old gray haired guy with the right clothes, shoes, makeup and wig I can present at least 10-15 years younger than what is shown on my license.
What she didn't mention was what she carried in her purse but did write her wife still retained her women's restroom pass, without a hygiene product in her purse. Those pesky genetic women do have a sense of who belongs and who doesn't in their tribe and my guess is the final determination does not lie with what is the bottom of your purse...right Pat?

Finally, Audrey, thanks for your kind comments!

The Back Page.- It's time to attempt to get my old dog in gear to go out in the snow and potty which she has an aversion to.  As always, thanks to all of you for spending another week with me here "the Condo"!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Aubrey Frost Update

A couple of you commented on the Aubrey Frost post, asking more about where she was in life.  I did research her a bit more and a couple of the more active "in the know" peeps seemed to think she just went stealth and that was it.

Being the persistent researcher I am, I found a artist at a hair salon in San Diego who looked a lot like her, and of all things, an attorney working in a firm very close to where I live (no picture). Just love a mystery!

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day."

Eli ErlickCalifornia Transgender activist 18-year-old Eli Erlick. She's a transgender high school graduate of Willits Charter School in Willits, and she's also the executive director of Trans Student Equality Resources.

Yet another "non stealth" closet dweller!

Friday, December 27, 2013

Out and About

Two transgender women who forsook the stealth closet in 2013 have made the news again:

Fallon Fox, the Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter who came out transgender in March, said in a GQ profile that passing is everything. The 5-page story follows Fox, 37, as she prepares to fight Ashlee Evans-Smith. Along the way, we learn that Fox wasn't always sure she wasn't a boy. “There was no time to think about that back in East Toledo, Ohio, in a house where fearing the Lord was a full-time job,” GQ wrote. 

As early as 5 or 6, Fox experimented with girls' clothing. “I stood in front of the mirror, and I knew it was right,” she said. “But it also meant I was damned. I mean, that seemed totally logical to me. You feel that way and you think you've got the Devil in you, just like they say.” “Where I came from, it was more shocking to be an atheist than to be transgender,” Fox said. In 2006, Fox boarded a plane to Thailand to undergo sex reassignment surgery. She went alone. 

“Passing becomes everything, everything,” Fox said. “Every time you go into a Starbucks and there's nothing in someone's eyes, it feels great.”

Feminine figure: Transgender director Lana Wachowski was spotted at LAX airport on MondayAnd there was  Lana Wachowski, (right) who transitioned in 2002. She's one of the most influential directors in Hollywood, having inspired a generation of filmmakers with her Matrix trilogy. Quite the outfit! 


Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Sarah Revisted

As 2013 comes quickly to an end, it's time to take a look at a couple very positive transgender achievements. One in this post and more to come in others.

Sarah McBride speaks at the signing of Delaware's Gender Identity Nondiscrimination Act, which she helped pass.
Sarah McBride speaking at the passing of the Delaware Gender 
Identity Non Discrimination Act.
The first comes from WAMU 88.5 who has taken a look at Sarah McBride's life a year after she came out as transgender:

There was a time in the not-so-distant past when Sarah McBride believed she had to choose between her dreams and her identity. But nearly two years after coming out as transgender, she not only continues to pursue her goal of working in politics, but she's also achieving it.

The last time Metro Connection interviewed McBride, she had recently come out in a very public manner. After wrapping up her term as American University's student body president, the rising senior wrote an Op-Ed in The Eagle, her school's student-run newspaper. The piece was entitled "The Real Me," and in it McBride, who at that point was still known as "Tim," announced to the AU population what she had kept a secret for years: she's a woman. In the article, she explains that she'd spent years thinking she had to choose between her identity and her dream of being a politician. She rationalized that if she could make life fairer for other people, then the work would be fulfilling enough to overshadow her own internal struggles. 

 "I told myself that if I could make 'Tim' worthwhile for other people by changing the world, that being 'Tim' would be worthwhile," she wrote.

I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo at the time how encouraging it was to see young transgender women and men not running for the stealth closet and making a difference! Read more about Sarah here.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

No "Mo" Rose?

Paula Gee sent along a short comment about Rose Venkatesan, India's first transgender talk show host:

"OK first in India, how about anywhere else?"

Speaking for the United States, Paula, I don't know of any transgender talk show hosts yet on a major network, unless the person is living under unbelieveable stealth.

There was a short lived moment not long ago to consider Eden Lane, as a replacement on The View.  As of 2012, she was the first (and as of 2012 the only) openly transgender person in mainstream television broadcasting in the United States.

As I see the situation, until the transgender nation clearly crosses the line into mainstream acceptance, at least in this country, very little movement will be made.

Take the View and it's producers for an example. No matter how qualified Eden Lane is, to bring her on board as a regular on the show, is a risk. Complaints from bigoted transphobic viewers do have a tendency to make sponsors a little unedgy. In the same way the transculture can bring pressure to bigoted companies such as Barilla Pasta and Chick fil a...the reverse is true also.

In this country also, Paula, over the last couple of decades, the media has been monopolized by big business. Broadcasting giants such as "Clear Channel" have realized conservative rantings are the way to profits...So finding a place to even start as a transgender talk show host (and get experience) is very difficult. Notice, Eden works for Colorado Public Television.

Finally, the whole idea is a huge "Catch 22". If a transgender talk show host finally becomes accepted as just a woman or a man, then the novelty wears off and the job with it.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Transition by Definition

Several years ago, we ran a post here in Cyrsti's Condo called Beyond Transition. At that time I mentioned I had a few more thoughts to share on the matter.  I was curious to see how many (if any) of my ideas had changed over the years:

"Beyond Transition" is a huge idea to be sure. I look at transition as a passage from point "a" to point "b".  When I look at the transgender community as a whole, does anyone ever really get to point "b"? My only point of reference is when I'm out with friends and I lose any sense of gender. I simply just am who I am. Have I transitioned, am I done? Am I the same as a transsexual woman who has gone through SRS and lives her life with no fanfare down your street? Could be...or not.

Although I have not had the surgeries the trans woman down the street has had, would her transition qualify as being more complete?  Probably not. In essence if either of us is facing taking estrogen till the day we die, we are still transitioning.  Perhaps the only defining separation is one of us is determined to talk about our life to hopefully lend some guidance to others - the other not and that's fine too.

On the other hand transitioning does imply a certain series of events.  The external move from gender "a" to "b" is very clear. You decide you need to change to live, you begin to socialize yourself in your non birth gender, you decide you want to ingest chemicals into your body to further the process and you go "under the knife" to complete any physical changes you may deem necessary. This black and white process looks very good on paper and especially works well with a male mind but often runs into problems with the mental processes.

In my case, some would assume I already have the problems with my mental processes, so it's been damn difficult on occasion to sort out what is coming from where.  An example is years ago on my first visit to a "gender therapist", she asked if I had any problems with my cross dressing. I said no but I did have problems on the effect it was having on my marriage.  To make a long expensive story short, the only good result of the visits was that she diagnosed me with a very clear bi-polar disorder.

So I guess transitioning is in the mind of the beholder.  The TS woman down the street may be "snug as a bug in the rug" in her stealth life.  On the other hand, I don't think I have ever been snug at anything. If the river is calm, bring me a boat to rock to see if I can tip it in my heels. Plus I hope I never lose the wonder of where this life has taken me.

Years ago when Uncle Sam let me go after three glorious years, I was discharged at Ft. Dix in New Jersey where my car was waiting from Germany.  I threw my duffel bag in the back seat of my 1973 VW Beetle and headed home to Ohio.  The next morning was clear, blue and beautiful when I got onto the Pennsylvania turnpike.  Just for a split second at a toll booth on a hill and had a chance to look at the road in the valley ahead. What a rush of freedom it was!  I thought I would never have a chance to reclaim that moment again but guess what - I'm close. Never say never.

So I guess my transition will only end when I depart this life and I look back and think how crazy it was that being transgender was so earth shattering. I will get back to you on that!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Jumping Closets Part 200

You all know how my stealth soapboxes here in Cyrsti's Condo are some of my favorites to pull out and preach from.
I finally came to my own little neat and tidy stereotype that stealth is simply jumping from one closet to another. You were in hiding before, and still are.  I say stereotype because of course there are all sorts of shades of gray with this issue.

The Transadvocate site is running a very good in depth series of discussions on the subject called "You're Only as Transitioned and Stealth as the Next Person says your Aren't.

Here's the Editors Note to give you a quick look:

"Editor’s Note: This is part of a series on “stealth.” The goal of this series to examine the nuanced ways trans opinion leaders conceptualize stealth and how they feel about it. Suzan Cooke kicked off the series with her article, The Many Shades of Stealth. It should be noted that TA is not endorsing any one view, definition or conceptualization. As with the elephant parable, each perception presented in this series represents one representation of the truth; taken together, it’s hoped that this series will provide a more comprehensive conceptualization of stealth and what it means to an oppressed community. Articles in this series: The Many Shades of Stealth | A Rant About MTF “Stealth” | Passing and Stealth: Two Words We Should Lose? | Stealth Doesn’t Help The Trans Community | You’re Only as Transitioned and Stealth as the Next Person Says You Aren’t. "

Follow the link above for the article.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

"Out" with Lynn Conway

If you are relatively new to the transgender culture, perhaps you haven't heard of one the true respected pioneers in our time Lynn Conway. Among other accomplishments Lynn (right) is a Professor of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, Emerita, University of Michigan.

Recently she wrote an article for the HuffPost Gay Voices called "The Many Shades of Out". It's a fabulous look into the recent decades of the transgender movement.  Here's the beginning:

"On a sultry June afternoon, as my husband and I strolled towards the White House East Entrance, I reflected back to the time of my gender transition, in 1968.

 Shamed as a social outcast, I'd lost my family, my friends and all social support. I'd been fired by IBM, and lost a promising computer research career. In many jurisdictions, I could have been arrested and charged as a sex offender -- or, worse yet, institutionalized and forced to undergo electroshock therapy in a mental hospital.

 Evading those fates, I completed my transition and began building a career in a secret new identity, starting at the bottom of the ladder as a contract programmer. Even then, any 'outing' could have led to media exposure, and I'd have become unemployable, out on the streets for good. The resulting fear channeled my life into 'stealth-mode.' I covered my past for over 30 years, always looking over my shoulder, as if a foreign spy in my own country.

 But this was June 13, 2013, and what a contrast it was. My husband Charlie and I, along with many other activists, advocates and allies, were about to join the President's White House Reception in celebration of LGBT Pride Month. The atmosphere was full of joy and hope for the future. As we waited for the President, I reflected further..."

And of course you can go here for more!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Thank God!

Every once in a while I wonder if all the transsexual stealth people look out of their closet doors and wonder just how our world would be if everyone ran and hid like they did?

Here are 24 who didn't from BuzzFeed LGBT.

Follow the link to read about those transgender pioneers who had the courage to push change while others did nothing more than changed closets. If you are like me, there are some names here I have never heard of!

Friday, July 5, 2013

A New "A" Word?

Well maybe this term is a little newer to me. In some senses it works into the post I wrote about being patronized as a transgender woman.
The word is Ally.  To split hairs, to be a transgender ally is great- if you do it right.  I can almost compare the idea to the much maligned trans admirers- without the sexual content.

However, since I did bring it up and I feel somewhat conflicted about handing someone a rule book on how to like me- I'm passing along a post from "The Thang Blog" called "How To Be a Better Ally to Trans Folks in Four Steps". Actually it's very well written and contains four very basic easy to understand ideas- including knowledge, becoming an activist, being an apostle for our trans culture and more.  (The apostle is my term not theirs and  I use it to describe a person who speaks up and carries a positive message to others.)

As I read the blog, even I quickly came to the realization "the four steps" do and don't apply to the patronizers I have encountered. For the most part these peeps are casual acquaintances who I wouldn't expect to care that much one way or another. I would however not hesitate to use the basic" four steps" at any meeting I went to with a majority of gay/lesbian members and "sympathizers".

I know deep down all these written rules and regulations are good in theory but I am of the opinion the main factor in building Ally's is my personal behavior.  Maybe I should  add a list of trans do's and don'ts similar to "Quotations from Chairman Mao"  to the contents of my purse everywhere I go. But then again, I have a hard enough time finding my keys in the "bottomless pits" anyhow. (I added a link for all you youngsters to Chairman Mao.)

Perhaps if I'm really good, I could actually add in a chapter or two on how admirers should admire. Explaining concepts such as the true meaning of what it means when a cross dresser says no men!!!  We could call the chapter "Cyrsti gets snarky. 

Seriously I do feel all of this discussion is good because it represents dedicated folk determined to spread the trans word in a constructive and positive nature. No matter how you cut it- a wonderful alternative to all of those who went into their stealth closets and did nothing.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Trans Knight

From the Malta Independent "She was the first transsexual to be a candidate with the Right of Centre alliance, the first to lead an equal opportunity committee, the first to open a centre in the South of Italy for those suffering from identity issues, and the first transsexual to get her feminine name accepted on her ID Card. Now she has become the first transsexual to be invested as a Dame in the Order of the Knights of Malta. Martina Castellana (left) is a dermatologist from Salerno.

Now, with the Cross of Malta around her neck, she is preparing a second book, following her autobiography, Sulla mia pelle published a year ago."

Yet another- "thank goodness" she never entered the stealth closet!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Government Apology?

In the United States a "government apology" is nearly as rare as a Polar Bear taking a stroll through my backyard in the middle of a hot Ohio summer.

Everyonce in a while though a surprising apology or two sneaks through in other countries- such as Malta which is located around the Mediterranean Sea, just south of Sicily and east of Tunis. Perhaps you remember Malta making news recently as Joanne Cassar (right) continued a fight which began in 2006 and continued five years to 2011. At that time Cassar sued Malta in the European Court of Human Rights, which ruled in 2011 that her fundamental rights to marriage and family life had been violated by Maltese law.

The apology came from
Partit Nazzjonalista deputy leader for Parliamentary Affairs Mario de Marco has said in a recent speech that the party has let the transgender community down by refusing to recognize our rights. In his own speech he said the previous PN government "might have let transgender persons down" Later he even went back and corrected the "might" word and deleted it.

No matter how seemingly tiny, in whatever country- stories such as this should give us all in the transgender community just a little more drive to push on. Plus the sacrifice of individuals such as Joanne Cassar to push on when she could have hid in the stealth closet which so many of us run to in fear is truly inspiring!

For more on this story, please go here

Dealing With Trans Rejection

Image from Jakayla Toney on UnSplash. Similar to so many transgender women or trans men, I have dealt with my share of rejections.  My first...