Showing posts with label trans folks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trans folks. Show all posts

Friday, July 5, 2013

A New "A" Word?

Well maybe this term is a little newer to me. In some senses it works into the post I wrote about being patronized as a transgender woman.
The word is Ally.  To split hairs, to be a transgender ally is great- if you do it right.  I can almost compare the idea to the much maligned trans admirers- without the sexual content.

However, since I did bring it up and I feel somewhat conflicted about handing someone a rule book on how to like me- I'm passing along a post from "The Thang Blog" called "How To Be a Better Ally to Trans Folks in Four Steps". Actually it's very well written and contains four very basic easy to understand ideas- including knowledge, becoming an activist, being an apostle for our trans culture and more.  (The apostle is my term not theirs and  I use it to describe a person who speaks up and carries a positive message to others.)

As I read the blog, even I quickly came to the realization "the four steps" do and don't apply to the patronizers I have encountered. For the most part these peeps are casual acquaintances who I wouldn't expect to care that much one way or another. I would however not hesitate to use the basic" four steps" at any meeting I went to with a majority of gay/lesbian members and "sympathizers".

I know deep down all these written rules and regulations are good in theory but I am of the opinion the main factor in building Ally's is my personal behavior.  Maybe I should  add a list of trans do's and don'ts similar to "Quotations from Chairman Mao"  to the contents of my purse everywhere I go. But then again, I have a hard enough time finding my keys in the "bottomless pits" anyhow. (I added a link for all you youngsters to Chairman Mao.)

Perhaps if I'm really good, I could actually add in a chapter or two on how admirers should admire. Explaining concepts such as the true meaning of what it means when a cross dresser says no men!!!  We could call the chapter "Cyrsti gets snarky. 

Seriously I do feel all of this discussion is good because it represents dedicated folk determined to spread the trans word in a constructive and positive nature. No matter how you cut it- a wonderful alternative to all of those who went into their stealth closets and did nothing.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Transgender Due Diligence

I'm biased but it's hard to imagine many tougher journeys through life than changing ones gender.
If you are lucky enough to know for sure you were born into the wrong body and you are fortunate to be born into a loving accepting family-then you have society to face.
If you aren't, at the least- you have the genders ripping and tearing you apart internally. At the worst you become a tragic suicide statistic.

A few alternatives of course are therapy or due diligence. My definition of transgender due diligence is exploring the world the best you can.  In other words you are stuck patching together bits and pieces of a life in your planned gender.  I liken it to to playing golf, the more you play the better you are. In my own case I normally averaged perhaps one day a week to get out in the public and test the feminine waters it was tough to learn the girl basics.
Plus, like many of you I understand completely the dynamics of tearing loved ones, friends and jobs and possibly losing them all.  I am not one of those in the transgender community who rate you on time served or operations you have had or how you look.

I have heard from more than a couple trans folks who have taken me to task for being an intruder of sorts into the so called higher echelon ranks of those who are fortunate to live a quality life in my chosen gender. But more importantly I hear from more of you asking how I served my due diligence to arrive here.

For any number of reasons, I buried my true feelings deep into my own mental closet believing cross dressing was enough. On occasion I think by the time my life is over, it will be shortened by the extra gender stress I suffered. But, it's way too late to cry over lost dresses.

So if we survive the Mayan debacle, a stray asteroid  or even a giant solar flare- think about your due diligence in the new year. Consider your biggest warning could be  not jumping from the frying pan into the fire.Don't get burnt and  run out and buy a store bought vagina before you have any chance to socialize yourself as a woman and start taking it out on the world.
What happened to the days when you had to live a year or so as a woman before a clinic would accept you for surgery? What a concept! How many have found that even a store bought vagina does not guarantee acceptance in society- or that you would even like it?

Just remember the "DD" experience (not that one!) Do the best you can to serve your due diligence as a girl and plan your life from there.  Doing your best is all anyone can ask.

Dealing With Trans Rejection

Image from Jakayla Toney on UnSplash. Similar to so many transgender women or trans men, I have dealt with my share of rejections.  My first...