Transgender Due Diligence

I'm biased but it's hard to imagine many tougher journeys through life than changing ones gender.
If you are lucky enough to know for sure you were born into the wrong body and you are fortunate to be born into a loving accepting family-then you have society to face.
If you aren't, at the least- you have the genders ripping and tearing you apart internally. At the worst you become a tragic suicide statistic.

A few alternatives of course are therapy or due diligence. My definition of transgender due diligence is exploring the world the best you can.  In other words you are stuck patching together bits and pieces of a life in your planned gender.  I liken it to to playing golf, the more you play the better you are. In my own case I normally averaged perhaps one day a week to get out in the public and test the feminine waters it was tough to learn the girl basics.
Plus, like many of you I understand completely the dynamics of tearing loved ones, friends and jobs and possibly losing them all.  I am not one of those in the transgender community who rate you on time served or operations you have had or how you look.

I have heard from more than a couple trans folks who have taken me to task for being an intruder of sorts into the so called higher echelon ranks of those who are fortunate to live a quality life in my chosen gender. But more importantly I hear from more of you asking how I served my due diligence to arrive here.

For any number of reasons, I buried my true feelings deep into my own mental closet believing cross dressing was enough. On occasion I think by the time my life is over, it will be shortened by the extra gender stress I suffered. But, it's way too late to cry over lost dresses.

So if we survive the Mayan debacle, a stray asteroid  or even a giant solar flare- think about your due diligence in the new year. Consider your biggest warning could be  not jumping from the frying pan into the fire.Don't get burnt and  run out and buy a store bought vagina before you have any chance to socialize yourself as a woman and start taking it out on the world.
What happened to the days when you had to live a year or so as a woman before a clinic would accept you for surgery? What a concept! How many have found that even a store bought vagina does not guarantee acceptance in society- or that you would even like it?

Just remember the "DD" experience (not that one!) Do the best you can to serve your due diligence as a girl and plan your life from there.  Doing your best is all anyone can ask.

Looking Back and Forward

Following the weekend's intense activity, I finally have had an opportunity to reflect on life as I know it now.
Recapping just a bit, Saturday's burial of my outward male and emergence of my female self was intense to say the least. Sunday I sort of curled into a ball, Monday I worked diligently on all the projects I do and last night I went out for a drink to the place where much of my public coming out process happened.
I'm going to stop and quote a loving and giving quote from my Mom now: " Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes". As "non frilly" as that quote may seem-it's true.

Last night, I thought back on all the times I went to this very busy upscale sports bar in various "experimental" outfits and wigs. I've told whomever will listen (and some who won't) I was very much a trial and error transition person. (mostly error) I was fairly certain this feminine direction I was heading was the correct one but I had to find out for sure. One of the those moments occurred where I was last night. Years ago I was sitting there and this incredibly warm sense of well being came over me.  No, it wasn't the beer and I didn't have to run out and buy a store bought vagina- I just knew I found my true self.

At any rate, the last five years have been one hell of a trip. I went back to the dusty archives to pass along an ancient post from Cyrsti's Condo, called Weekend Update.  I was interested to see how completely I was into the psychical aspect of the moment...shaving legs, clothes etc. I won't pretend to say I'm not into the psychical aspect of being a woman now but it ceases to be the all encompassing factor. I guess it's important to me to look as good as I can but it's not the defining factor of my femininity. Again, I have been so lucky to have learned from a close group of genetic female friends currently and in the past on what a woman is and isn't.

As I look forward to the time I have left on this world, I'm incredibly excited what is around the next corner for me on this journey.  I'm never so sure what dose of positive karma brought me to this point. I compare my life as a human and a transgender person to an old school pin ball machine. Don't we all play this game?   Five silver balls and we are done- game over-see ya!  As hard as we try, we try to aim the silver balls and hope for big points. Skill is one thing though but what about luck and destiny? If you know those answers-please can I talk to you!!!!!

So looking forward, I'm hoping to have at least one or two balls left to play...and have as much fun as karma will let me!

It's all Fun until Someone Gets an Eye Put Out

Here you go, a very serious look at the behind the scenes workings of Cyrsti's Transgender Condo.
Well, maybe not so serious-this is not brain surgery. If it was we would all be in trouble.
In case you haven't noticed, my thought patterns are all over the place. Inspirations for me (well I had to come up with some sort of term) either are like an Oak Tree in the middle of a dessert (none) or a long Chessie freight train running through my head. (hundreds)
Currently, I have been writing down ideas by hand in a note book and checking them out when I get home. So what I have now is yet another pile of written thoughts. Being the progressive critter I am, I am looking at electronic devices to transfer all this stuff to.
As I was going over some of my older stuff, I just found this title. It's cool, it's fun, it's violent! BUT where was I going with this?
Maybe my long lost Vagina post? I have thought about going to the Rad Femme fun bunch for a vagina answer: How much is the relative value of a home grown vagina as compared to a constructed purchased one? Is there a commodity price on the stock market? Somehow I don't think they would see the sense of humor and it's more entertaining to watch the ones who bought one fight with them.
Chances are my eye would have been at the least verbally blackened so I don't think I was going the vagina direction.
As I shuffle through this mass of notes, I'm sure I'll figure out where I was headed-by next spring.

I Didn't Know it was a Contest

During my never ending surfing of Al Gore's web I find these little gems.
This one was called:

"Why transwomen will never be as exciting as women.


It is often said that transwomen can be more beautiful and feminine
than actual women. You hear transwomen say that women who do not
conform to femininity cannot measure up and are not real women, not as
real as them…

So I’ve been thinking about what men get out of being with actual
women. We know that they get services and free labor, such as: babies,
cleaning, emotional support, physical care, sex etc… If transwomen are
able to do some of that and “embrace” the lot of the oppressed then"
Read more here:


I was amused on several levels. The first was the assumption that women are oppressed-don't tell my daughter that.  The birth option is another. What does say about the genetic women who can't or don't want kids? Some say defining "real" women by the birth option is reducing them to a walking vagina.
Finally I thought it was interesting she raised men to the top of the gender food chain by assuming all women- trans or not- are in competition for a man.
Me thinks she protests too much!
I dropped some thoughts on her blog. I will let you know if anything interesting happens.
fine.