Great Memory

Last night, as I always do, I stopped for a cup of my fave coffee on my way to the transgender support group meeting. The manager has been there since I started to go in.

He is always nice enough to make small talk with me and ask about how my weekend was. Amazingly enough last night, he said isn't it about time for you (me) to head up to Columbus, Ohio for our party weekend. Otherwise known as our Trans Ohio Symposium Weekend.  I told him yes, it is coming up this weekend and I was amazed at his memory.

Somewhere along the way I must have made an impact with my barista!

Speaking of impacts, Leann wrote concerning my Easter Sunday/Mike Pence post here in Cyrsti's Condo:

"I did have a very holy Easter, thank you. Many so called Christians (and those like the woman who said Pence came from a good Christian family) are unwilling to acknowledge is that simply not violating the ten commandments in public does not make one a good Christian. Loving one's neighbor unconditionally is also required of a Christian. Pence and his ilk do not appear to be following this precept. Jesus tells us to love thy neighbor as thyself as part of the Great Commandment. This seems to be lost on far too many who claim to be following Christ. For these we should all pray for their conversion to true Christianity."

Thank you Leann, well put!

No Choice...No Game

Yesterday's mammogram and today's call from my endocrinologist have proven to me again how my transgender journey came from having no choice and is definitely no game.  I have always been humored in a negative way by those who think any of us had a choice to go down this road.

Even though I chose the newer 3-D method of mammogram (thanks Michelle), the procedure was no walk in the park. For those of you who don't know, a "3-D gram" provides a better look at denser breast tissue, normally associated with transgender patients.

The technician was different in how she phrased the question most civilians want to know, when she innocently asked if I had completed my Mtf transition or still was expecting work to "move things around." I had a notion to say it was none of her business until I thought ahead and realized this person was going to cause me some potential discomfort. So I just replied I thought I was close to being done. Our local Transgender community was recently shocked by a trans woman who passed on (in her 40's) from complications when she went through breast augmentation, facial feminization and gender realignment surgery in the same procedure.

As we were finishing up and walking down the hall to leave, she was pleasantly telling me her about her love for upscale purses and then never carrying them.

So hopefully I will be done with mammograms, which I call a rite of passage, until next year.

The game part of this post will be coming up in my next Cyrsti's Condo offering, as this one is getting a little long. Stay tuned.

Young and Transgender

I could go into great detail about the problems young transgender girls or boys go through in the majority of cases. Of course we all know the instances of increased suicide rates mis-understood trans kids go through.

On the other side of the coin is the teen aged transgender girl who has basically grown up before our eyes...Jazz Jennings. Jazz of course is an example of a white, attractive child who happened to be part of a very accepting family.

If you have a story to share of your upbringing, please comment here on the blog or email me at Cyrstih@yahoo.com. 

In the meantime, here is Connie's:

FABULOUS CONNIE DEE February 22, 2019 at 12:58 PM
"I hope to live long enough to see how the current generation of young transgender people will fare as they move into adulthood. There will still be pitfalls for them, but not having to deal with the shame is a definite advantage. For those who have parental acceptance and support, there will be a much more solid foundation.

I didn't have to tell my mother; she figured it out when she discovered some of her clothing was missing when I was about 12-years-old. Beyond a swift beating of my ass and a warning to never do it again, we never discussed it, either - unless you count subsequent reprises of the same interaction as being an on-going discussion. It's almost impossible, as a child, not to feel the shame in yourself when your parents express their own shame for you. It is so much more than, say, a feeling of guilt a child may get from getting caught with stealing a cookie. If my guilt was the cookie, my shame was the whole cookie jar; the cookie my gender expression, the jar my gender identity.

I have forgiven my mother, too. Neither of us knew what was going on, and "transgender" was something years away. It's said that knowledge is power, and there is so much more information that is readily available to both trans kids and their parents these days. I hold hope and prayer that both will avail themselves of that information and learn there is nothing for which to be ashamed - neither for the trans child or the parents of a trans child."

Well written, thanks!

More Snow and a New Mammy

It seems as if we can't get out of the snow belt totally around here. It has been been snowing off and on for about three days now. Plus again, we have been plunged back into to sub zero (f) temperatures. Fortunately, we are supposed to head up into the 40's and 50's soon.

Soon enough for my second round of mammogram x-rays on Friday. The nurse called yesterday and informed me the radiologist found something he/she didn't like on the first set of x-rays. I'm not too concerned because this is not the first time this has happened to me. As I remember, the first time it had to do with "dense breast tissue" which probably is an extension of my dense brain matter. So, at any rate, I will be negotiating the maize of traffic messes to get to the center for another mammogram. (Sigh.)

As I said before though, the alternative is much worse.

Also, in the much worse department, the bank called me and is supposedly correcting all my debit card name situation. It was quite the shock (as I had written previously here in Cyrsti's Condo) to see my old male name staring back at me on the new cards.

Such is the life of a transgender woman and oh yeah...damn I'm cold! If you are considering hormone replacement therapy and live in a colder climate, remember you will get colder. It's not just a myth cis -women make up for sympathy! 

Aren't We Really All Cross Dressers?

I remember years ago I brought this topic up to a mixed group of transsexual,transgender and cross dressers here on the blog, and got rocked.

I assume perhaps I would again today, except in the 20 something and below generation -who is much more accepting to gender fluid roles.

I am sure many of you remember the "Red Badge of Courage" days when going under the knife for SRS and going stealth with a man was THE goal. Having that goal is still all good but at some point in their lives wasn't there a man ready to get out of the closet.

Then, there are the purists who believe from their earliest days, they have felt like a girl but were forced to cross dress as a boy.

Now it seems, the term cross dresser has been mainly relegated to a semi negative term-which it shouldn't.

What a mess!!! 

Fortunately, I have quite a few comments to pass along which are pertinent to this topic:

The first from Connie:  For me, it's difficult to maintain an envisioning of the kind of woman I am, as it's the "transgender" part of it that gets in the way. I don't know who decided "trans*" would be a proper way of referring to me, but it's like saying I'm a "woman*", with the asterisk being necessary for clarification and definition to be footnoted. The trouble is that my spirit and soul are those of a woman; this I know of myself. Nobody else should be allowed to attach an asterisk to my spirit and soul - but there are plenty who will try.

So true! And of course mine- I wonder though if the real negative bitchy word games come mainly from the transgender/cross dressing community. The civilian world has had a tough enough time wondering where we came from all of the sudden.

Finally, I am going to leave you with this before we get back to a topic we discussed yesterday here in Cyrsti's Condo- 20  words which express "femaleness" to you. I think cross dressing may have developed more of a negative connotation from the "fetish CD's."??

What REALLY Matters

Recently I read a post from Paula Goodwin. She was writing about how she feels a certain strong "bonding and friendship" with a few peeps on the web. Even though she has never met.

I feel the same way for a couple reasons.  One of which is those you who I share an almost an unreal transgender bond. The second is a how much empathetic feedback I get on certain items-which makes the small stuff-well, the small stuff.

These comments came from Connie and Shelle on the Cyrsti's Condo post "It Seems Kind of Cruel."

First Connie: "Cyrsti, So sorry. I was praying that you wouldn't have to take this step, and that they'd be able to get your condition under control by other means. Of course, I want you to get better, but maybe they'll discover that the estrogen was not a contributor after a few months. And maybe, as Liz alluded to, you will find that the hormones were far less important to your transition than you might have thought. At least you've had four years to develop your softer side, and I'd be disappointed only if you should return to the cynical asshole I knew you to be before. :-) I will continue to pray for you."

Thanks Connie! I can use all the prayers you send my way and Liz said it was her-not HRT that brought out the softer side :)

Next Shelle: "Dearest Cyrsti
I'm so sorry to hear about your,having to go off your HRT,It's very hard for anyone who has never experienced the real help,hormone therapy makes for ,I'm certain you will miss it.
Can you at least continue with the androgen blocker?
Anyway my thoughts will be with you going forward.
Hugzz Shell"

Shell, I can continue with my androgen blockers thanks.

One thing for sure, you two helped me to understand what really matters out here in our little transgender woman tribe! Your comments meant a lot!

Luv ya both :)

I'm Hurt

Last week, I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo about a "day trip" vacation Liz and I took to Ripley, Ohio and Augusta. Kentucky. Augusta is just a short small ferry boat ride across the river. I wrote at the time (I paraphrase) "Augusta was/is a charming sleepy little Ohio River town. As it turned out I was wrong. Augusta was just sleeping that afternoon after the CSX coal train rolled through and we ate lunch. My apologies to Augusta. Turns out I missed all the action.

Now, fast forward to this week and I saw a story on a Cincinnati television station about movie star George Clooney and new wife Amal visiting George's childhood home in Augusta. Now, I knew George grew up in Northern Kentucky, but never knew exactly where and he still has immediate family there.

According to TMZ, George put out the big money and treated new wife Amal to "Poor Man's Pie."

I'm hurt because no one mistook me for Amal when I was there. Must have been the accent?

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Another robust version of the Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition" has hit your virtual front porch. Get ready, it's been a busy one around here!


Page One: Tragedy Strikes.  If Leelah Alcorn wanted her suicide to "mean something" it has.  The LGBTQ community has responded with vigils beginning in her hometown of Cincinnati and spanning the globe all the way to New Zealand-so far.  This last week, I attended vigils in Springfield and Cincinnati, Ohio plus made a radio show appearance with an actual therapist who knew "Josh" and never managed (refused) to call her Leelah. 

Cincinnati's WCPO TV reported an estimated 600 people attended.  It was a moving experience as all of the trans women and men (young and old) were encouraged to appear on stage.  The courageous transgender youth were encouraged to tell their stories - which they did.  I came away from the evening knowing it takes more than a village to nourish a young transgender youth, it takes a city.

To all of you who have refused to mention another true clueless victim to all of this tragedy-the truck driver was mentioned too.

Page Two: I'm Invisible at Saks?  I'm a simple person with a simple noggin.  (Calm down with the cheap shots Connie, Bobbie and all!!)  So, I can never quite figure when a company seemingly draws a line in the sand and decides to support discriminating against one of it's transgender women employees:  In December 2014, Saks Fifth Avenue responded to a sex discrimination lawsuit filed by Leyth O. Jamal, a former employee at a Saks store in Texas who claims she was harassed, then fired, for being a trans woman. Saks could have fought Jamal’s suit by insisting that her claims of harassment are false, or that she was terminated for reasons unrelated to her gender. But instead, Saks has claimed that it has a legal right to discriminate against trans employees based on their trans status...Huh? Really? Of course, there are several theories of why Saks would screw this up so bad- go here to read one and stay the hell out of Saks where you are invisible anyhow.


Page Three: Move Over Bitches.  After the vigil last night, Liz and I went to an ancient looking tavern down the street called Motr Pub.  We had never been there, but were attracted by the sign on the window that they had "writer's night" every Tuesday-so in we went.  I knew I was in the right place when a guy who seemed to be a manager was wearing a jacket with a "Zappa for President" patch.  Before too long, the place began to fill up with 20 and 30 something's before the band began to play.  Also (all too soon) the Hudepohl draft beer I was drinking caught up with me and I was headed to the women's room.  The first visit was quiet and harmless enough but my second became interesting when I came out of my stall right into three rather predatory blonds looking at me.  I thought Whoa! said "excuse me" and headed to the sinks-washed my hands and left.  As I returned to my seat next to Liz, I asked her for the proper "generic protocol" for bitches on "man prowl" in the restroom.  She said they weren't much interested in me except to size me up and I did well.
Page Four: The Back Page.  As I said, it has been quite the week.  All of the sudden, I was in the right place at the right time to rethink how I pay forward into the transgender community. More on those ideas later! Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!

Mo Mail

This Cyrsti's Condo post is basically a potpourri of comments from you ladies.

First Paula Goodwin ran a little poll on her blog on a choice of three outfits she could wear to a holiday party.  The Fashionista in me won!   Paula GoodwinDecember 22, 2014 at 11:21 AM

You guessed my outfit for tonight!

Thanks Paula and I hope you had a wonderful time! You looked great!!!

Speaking of "Fashionista", how does hair fit in?  Here's an experience:

J.AlanaSDecember 22, 2014 at 11:14 AM

In my childhood, I was a tow-head blond but it got darker as I aged so that it became more of a darker blond/brown with red highlights. I was once mis-gendered because of my long blond hair. I'd just checked out and the bag boy said, "Have a good day miss" The check out girl had my atm card and corrected him. I just said "Thank you" 

Good point! If you remember even I mis-gendered a 14 year old boy with straight long blond hair recently in a surgical waiting room.  Furthermore, I believe my hair growth was one of the biggest surprises of my HRT. It happened quick and I believe was the biggest factor being accepted as a trans woman.

Finally, J.AlanaS., I had a similar 'encounter" with a bag boy who was just "melting" in front of me.  I was just a redhead in a baggy sweater and 1980's big hair wearing a short mini and flats. He could barely get out he would help me with my one bag of groceries to my car.  The cashier found it all to be quite humorous.

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Grazing"

It's time again kids to take a look at our astrological readings for the week!

As always, we Libra's go first:  (September 23-October 22): Your communication lines are open and people will be dialing back with their complaints, worries, confusions, etc. It’ll seem as if all the floodgates will open and truth will come pouring down on you, soaking you to the bone. Although most of the dramatics don’t involve you personally, it’s never ‘just easy’ being in the front row when Pandora’s Box is opening.

Wow! I can't begin to tell you how accurate this "Graze" is for me! Scary!!!!

This week I went back to you Acquarians for company! (January 20-February 19): You can’t underestimate catty, jealous people. While you have been enjoying the holidays, chances are the haters were working overtime to sabotage your plans or tarnish your rep. Although you should have seen this coming from miles away, be glad you were busy living your life and prefer to see humanity in a better light. Don’t worry. Eventually, you will get the last laugh.

There you go kids!!! If we didn't get to your sign, don't get your panties in a bunch and go to theFrisky!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo Art Choice

I just found this picture and wanted to pass it along as it jumped off the page and spoke gender volumes to me. .Femininity and androgyny just to name a few!

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Reading"

Here we go kids! Another visit to our astrological signs from theFrisky. First, my Libra sign is rather subdued this week:
 (September 23-October 22): It’s all about keeping your word. Building trust is a sport at times and if you want to achieve the level you want, it’s going to take time. Like anything that has true substance, you have to let it settle. Be willing to lay low in the passenger seat and have your actions speak for themselves, as you keep it real with your priorities.

No problem! The way my partner Liz drives, I lay low in the passenger seat anyway!!!  Our guest sign this week comes from the sign of Aries , which seems to be a good match - to sit back and watch from the passenger seat!

(March 21-April 19): When a door opens, step in — like when sexual tension springs up in a platonic place. Yes, go hog wild on all the no strings love you can get now. However, don’t be the aggressor, because clumsiness will plague you from being as smooth as you’d like. Let them ignite the flame and they will!

If you didn't see your sign, don't pout and boo hoo which will run your fancy new mascara! Go here for yours!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Another Condo weekly wrap up has hit your virtual front porch!  Curl up with your Cup o Joe and lets get started!


Page 1.- The Week That was-or Wasn't.  Such a week it was! I really don't where to even start. I'm thinking an important place though, is my moving story.  My plan to get moved in with my partner Liz within 6 months or so and my old house on the market and sold-took a giant step forward. Briefly,  that is not an move across town-but one involving a two hour drive.
Moving was not the only thing weighing on my mind this week.  It seems the Veteran's Administration "powers to be" at the Dayton (Ohio) hospital center have gone back to where I fought them years ago and denied payment to an outside provider for my endocrinologist needs. Which (by the way) is illegal for them to do.  So here we go again.

Page 2.- A Star Arrives!   Last week marked the appearance of Laverne Cox in our area of Ohio and Northern Kentucky.  I was fortunate to see her Tuesday and was inspired and impressed. It turns out, I met a couple of young transgender men and women in Cincinnati who were impressed too.  Liz was doing a craft show here and put out many of her hand beaded items.  To the left you can see an example of a transgender logo beret she made me for my hair last Spring.  The picture is taken of me from my best angle!  At any rate, an obviously gender non forming young couple wondered by and were drawn to the beret.  Finally, the trans guy said quietly-they knew the transgender symbol and were trans! I was sitting to the rear of the table, for once being quiet and out of the way so I just raised my hand.  Liz said, "So is she" and pointed my direction.  From that point on, we had quite the chat, oblivious to the "civilians" around us. I wondered later, what they thought about phrases and words about testosterone shots, top surgery, HRT and transitioning.  How wonderful it was we could do it!!!! It turns out, they too had seen Laverne Cox at Northern Kentucky University recently. 

By the way, the trans guy is ordering one of Liz's beaded handmade beret's for his Mom as a Christmas gift-with a rainbow where the Yin-Yang symbol is centered on mine.  Just contact me if you have an idea and want her to make one for you.  Please remember they are hand crafted and I will give you a price.

Page 3.- Stealth, Football and Mo!  Our back page today is going to be brief (maybe). In the typical New York elitist media style- on the CBS News show "Face the Nation" one of the experts quoted the old "Texas" football coach who said when you pass the football-three things can happen-all bad. The coach was Woody Hayes, decidedly NOT from Texas, but Ohio State.  Then again, when I lived in the NYC area for a couple years, the only part of the country the New Yorkers acknowledged was Texas.  To them, my native Ohio didn't register.  Even though I do pay attention to the "East Coast" media bias-I hold it all at arm's length out here in the frontier!

However, here in the frontier, we do play football, and yes our Ohio State Buckeyes tore up some Wisconsin Badger last night.  Liz and I watched the game in a sports bar here in Cincinnati which is not exactly the strongest Buckeye stronghold in the state-but OK none the less. 

Being self centered, sure the victory was great but the local circumstances around it at the tavern were even better. More later.

You all are the best!!!! Thanks as always for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!!! Have a great week!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "OOOOPS"

Dammit! I just knew this wasn't going to work well when my little sister came home early-with her new camera!!!! And, I'm in Mom's clothes!

Cyrsti's Condo "Drag Queen" of the Day

Craig Revel Horwood is an Australian-British dancer, choreographer and theatre director in the United Kingdom, he also created a 7' drag queen (with hair and heels)  persona called Lavish.

Cyrsti's Condo "OOOPPS!"

Un identified cross dresser

Hey! You guys didn't say it was drag RACING night at the bar-I just heard drag!

A Cyrsti's Condo Vintage Female Impersonator

The beautiful female mimic/drag queen
Robbie Ross.

Cyrsti's Condo "Crazy Wabbit!"

MtF transsexual woman Cassandra Cass as Jessica Rabbit

Cyrsti's Condo "Num-mers!"

Our feature cover today is

Thai transgender showgirl Nisarat (Num) modelling.