Euphoria

As we cross the transgender frontier, so often we encounter the "one step forward, two steps back" phenomenon.

Of course, the euphoria comes when we seem to build momentum and keep moving forward. My latest success came today at a coffee shop Liz and I go to occasionally. The young woman at the counter (not the barista) kept complimenting me on how nice my new hair style looked. I was walking on cloud nine for the next hour of so until we got back home.

If you follow any of the same blogs I do (or Connie, here) you will understand the concept of gender freedom, or euphoria. Stana, Mandy Sherman and Paula Goodwin come to mind. All of their blogs can be accessed on my blog list. At one point of time or another, each has written about their successful forays transitioning into their non birth (but desired) gender.

Being selfish, I feel as if any step forward is/was earned the hard way through more error than trial. I remember quite well, the days of being stared at (at the best) or snickered at (at the worst).

I have made myself a solemn promise I will never take any of my steps forward as being "more trans than thou." It's incredibly bad karma. After all, I too (like Connie) have the big wrists, which at one point in time were good for swinging a baseball bat. Plus, I am stuck with a big boned larger body.

So, I will take my positive strides when I can get them and I hope you can too.

Different Ideas

I get soooo tired of hearing/seeing myself write about the same things here in Cyrsti's Condo, so when I get the chance, I embrace different ideas from you who write in.

In response to my "mini rant" about a couple "alpha" transgender women I know, Paula Goodwin wrote in and said:

Paula GoodwinApril 13, 2018 at 9:35 AM

Over the years I have learnt that just because we have one thing in common, that does not mean we will have anything else. Not all tuba players are close friends neither do we all share the same political or musical views, the same should be expected of Trans people. I consider myself lucky that I have met a couple of people through my local support group who I like to think I would have been friends with however we met. As for the others, I am more than happy to share a Saturday night with them and have some fun, but we won't be BFFs just because they happen to also be Trans."

Also, transitioning a gender doesn't mean you are transitioning a personality.

The second comment comes from another of my acquaintances from my cross dresser - transgender group. First of all, she is delightful and is in the early stages of hormone replacement therapy.

Slowly but surely, she is coming out at work and travels a lot. One lesbian woman she sees on occasion started quite the conversation the other day. It turns out, the woman thought my friend was a butch lesbian. Finally, after some prodding, she (my friend) said no, she was trans. Without skipping a beat, the lesbian said cool! When are you going to start testosterone shots? My acquaintance had to explain then, she was going from Mtf! Quite the conversation. 

Thanks to both of you for making blogging fun again.  

Another Day of Errands?

Yes, very much so. Today I usually go to Liz's karate class and from there, we normally stop two or three places to shop for necessities.

This is the spot I need to mention Paula Goodwin's comment about becoming the woman I was destined to become, not who I look like. Becoming an everyday woman has become a distinct reality for me for some time now.

That is not to say, I don't have my fun getting dressed up on occasion but now it is such a small part of me. The bigger part (as we approach the Transgender Day of Visibility around here) is making sure I present femininely correctly to the civilian community. Now particularly is not the time to be a bitch un-needlessly.

How do I do this? For one I dress to blend and wear a smile as my number one accessory. My problem is it's been so long since I have encountered any problems at all, I have to work to always keep up a semblance of a guard  So, as Mtf transitions go, I am still thinking I am on the path to stealth without ever thinking about it. Then again, I think I have such a long way to go with my voice and mannerisms, there is no way I will ever be able to go totally stealth.

Plus, there is the ever present paranoia of what will happen if I ever have to go into a nursing home. A long way (I hope) from worrying what I am going to wear to the grocery store and if  I should wear my hair back or not.

Decisions...decisions.

Building Walls

It turns out, we received quite a bit of quality mail concerning our Cyrsti's Condo post about the walls we have to climb as we transition as transgender women and trans men.

The first from Marcia:

"MarciaMarch 1, 2018 at 1:42 PM

Wish I lived close to you (I don't-I live in Portland, OR). I think this is a great topic-especially the walls part. Have you considered taping your presentation and making it available via You Tube or the like?"

That is a great idea! In fact, I have been considering adding a pod cast to the blog for a long time and most certainly I think Liz could tape the workshop. Thanks!

And, a unique look from Connie:

"FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMarch 1, 2018 at 5:00 PM

Your mention of levels and walls reminds me of my daughter's mastery, a number of years ago, of the Mario Brothers video game. I remember so well how I spent all night trying to figure the game out before giving her the Nintendo, thinking I would certainly need to show her how to play the game Christmas morning. Of course, while it took me all night to figure how to get through the first level, she was through the third level before the day was over. I was the one who learned from her that some walls need to be jumped, some crashed through, and some climbed. Between the walls are things you must learn to avoid, as well as others you can use to your advantage to take you to the next level.

My twisted mind makes parody of things, usually through analogy and metaphor. I re-imagined the game as "Mario Sisters," with the object of the game being the transition to finally becoming the Princess, rather than saving her. Revisiting that idea, now, has me thinking that my own becoming of the princess was, at the same time, saving myself."

I love it! Thanks :)

Finally, from Paula Goodwin:
"Paula GoodwinMarch 2, 2018 at 10:18 AM

This sounds like a very interesting idea, I would certainly be interested in hearing your thoughts on Walls, so next time you are in London.......

Thinking about my own transition it has certainly gone in stages as I negotiate individual walls. I have tried to only think about the next decision ~ or to negotiate the wall in front of me. i.e. "am I trans or do I just like dressing up?" "Should I go full time?" "How do I tell people?", once all that was in the past and I was starting to live my own life I then had to work out what sort of a woman I am, more than what I want to wear! Then I would start to think about should I go on HRT; now I have to decide about GRS!

I think for many of us there is an idea that just doing that one thing will solve all our problems, whether that one thing involves surgery, drugs, or clothing; and the answer is usually that it doesn't! We do that one thing and then hit the wall, we can look forward so much to climbing over that wall, that it is all we can focus on, then when we get to the other side we find that not everything is solved, we still have issues to deal with, not all our problems are solved.

I remember seeing a video during my Disability Awareness training, "Will the real Glynn Vernon Stand up!" Glynn Vernon was at the time vice-chair of Scope he had sever Cerebral Palsy was a wheel chair user and used an interpreter to communicate. He started his video with the line
"My name's Glynn Vernon, I have two problems, not enough money and not enough sex""

I love the part about working out what "sort of woman" I am...much more than what I wear! And yes Paula, I would love to make it to London some day. Almost made it when I was in the Army, but the tour was cancelled due to an IRA bombing (dammit!)

I think I will use the "love" word once again to describe how much these comments meant to me!

Happy Sunday

Well, it has been quite the week, for a relatively quiet one.

As I wrote about here in Cyrsti's Condo, I am working on a borrowed computer until I can get the laptop I normally use up and running. Hopefully, it is something minor. I miss my normal spell check as well as other things I am used to, such as adding links. Oh well!

Again this week, I made another trip North to see one of my doctors at the VA in Dayton, Ohio. I narrowly missed seeing a transgender psychiatrist, I don't normally see. Not a big deal, except it is always nice to talk to another trans person. Who, by the way, is Mtf transitioning nicely. I can really notice a positive change. I know she transitioned into the VA out of the military, so I can only guess the courage and difficulty in what she is doing.

Yesterday, we hosted a birthday party here at the house for Liz's (my partner) brother.  He was fairly talkative for a change, and actually said a few things to me. So, the afternoon was pleasurable, I went with light makeup, a sweater and jeans. Since he has seen me many times before.

Also, I wrote about my desire to lose a few pounds here and there (mostly here) before Spring/Summer. I mentioned I have read HRT will make losing weight more difficult, as it changes your metabolism into a more feminine mode. Regular blogger Paula Goodwin wrote in and commented old age has something to do with it too. Thanks Paula! I think :).

Other than that, it was a very mundane week except for yet another tragic school shooting in Florida. I am taking this chance to send out my condolences to all of those directly affected by this senseless tragedy. I wish I could even begin to speculate where this is ever going to end. It's crazy I have to fear for my grand kids in school.

I hope your week was good also!

Are You Welcome Where?

I think it's safe to say, it's still tough to assume we transgender women and trans men for the most part are "welcomed" in the rest rooms of their choice.

Going back to the casino story here in Cyrsti's Condo, Connie commented on her experiences in a casino restroom, which happen to be close to mine, except I was not with a cross dresser -transgender group:

" FABULOUSCONNIEDEEFebruary 7, 2018 at 12:15 PM

It would be prudent to be aware that Native American casinos do not always have to follow the same rules or laws that you may be used to off the Reservation. I think that most of them try to be accommodating (they want as many people to come in and lose their money as possible, anyway).

A number of years ago, the trans social group I have mentioned before went, en mass and en femme, to a nearby casino. While a couple of them were using the ladies room, they were detained by security (sans cuffs) in much the same way. This casino, however, came to an agreement with the group that allowed them to use the family-friendly restroom (which this group so femininely call a "single holer") at the far end of the casino. I have been to that casino a couple of times, but not with that group. I disregarded the rule, though, and used the ladies room without incident. I imagine it could have much to do with being discreet, but there are always many eyes watching you in a casino - no matter who you are."

Plus, the casino I was in at the time, was not Native American owned. 

On a larger scale, Paula Goodwin, checked in on how it is to live in London (UK):

"Paula GoodwinFebruary 7, 2018 at 1:25 PM

I feel very blessed to live in busy, liberal, accepting London (UK) and have very little acknowledgement never mind issues! I usually find that the most frequent reaction to my presence is simply to ignore. Since this is the way everybody gets treated in London that's fine by me.

I suspect that generally the UK is more liberal and accepting than the US, however that does not mean we all have it easy, I have recently been hearing of the major problems I trans woman is having in a nice bit of Berkshire with frequent unwanted sexual advances/ on street abuse. I know that in some places this is simply the nature of being a woman, but in Berkshire! ~ I had expected better."

Paula, I can't speak to Berkshire and to excess sexual advances, but overall, I think it is safe to assume in the United States, your larger metro areas have a real tendency to be more liberal and LGBT friendly.

Thanks to both of you, for your comments.

More "Support" Mail

I received quite a bit of mail on several topics here in Cyrsti's Condo, including "transgender support groups", or just women's support groups:

First from Paula Goodwin:

1. Paula GoodwinJanuary 22, 2018 at 7:15 PM

   "My own group, which I often describe as a "support group" offers "Mutual social Support", we meet in a local family pub, so basically it's a chance to share a few drinks with some friends."
2. Paula, the group I go to the most has most of it's get together s in restaurants and/or bars. I don't go for any number of reasons. Including not feeling real chummy with most of them, all the way to having real bad experiences with groups of drinking cross dressers who have embarrassed me totally. Some of the pictures I have seen, lead me to believe, this bunch does have the potential to be the same.
3.  Plus I just cant drink much anymore and risk driving. Thanks for the comment! :) 
4. And, from Connie:
5. 
   
6. FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 22, 2018 at 7:16 PM

   
   As has been discussed here in your Cyrsti's Condo many times, trans women of our age are possibly considered to be dinosaurs by the younger crowd. We may receive some admiration for all of the crap we had to go through in "the olden days," but much of that is irrelevant to younger people's issues today. I think it's funny that, since the first time I went out in public, I had never hesitated to use a ladies room until doing so became politicized. 
7. "I, like you, pretty much navigated my way through finding myself without the support of others. These days, I may belong in a support hose group with a bunch of old ladies, but not necessarily transgender ones. I'm just hoping for a few more years of not needing the support of a cane or walker. :-)
8. The few support group meetings I have attended included some discussion about restrooms, however. One young (19 y/o) trans woman, who had already undergone GRS, was homeless, spending most of her daytime hours in the public library. She had been banned from using the ladies room at the library, though, and was forced to go across the street to a fast food spot with a unisex restroom. She went on and on about how this was such an interference to her transition, until she then switched to how men were rejecting her sexually. I think she said that she identified as gender queer, but I could only sit there thinking that, if she made the effort to be more feminine in appearance, neither of those problems would be so serious. 
9. I did not express my thoughts, though, as I'm sure that they would have done more harm than good. She definitely needed professional help, and much more than a support group could provide. In fact, I mostly just sat there looking pretty - which wasn't hard to do considering the appearance of the dozen or so others in the room. I was the only one who could not declare the amount of time I had been on HRT, yet I felt like I had transitioned far beyond this group. I really did feel out of place, more like a mother who had accompanied one of the young trans kids. I could empathize, but I found it difficult to relate on their level.
10. 
    I don't know if my presence helped anyone in that group, but I never returned to find out."
11. Thanks Connie, our moderator in the one group goes to great lengths to tell really troubled individuals the group is not for trained counseling. The VA group though, has a trained licensed therapisr in charge.

Decisions, Decisions

Paula Goodwin responded to our Cyrsti's Condo post about going full time as a transgender woman:

Paula GoodwinDecember 15, 2017 at 7:24 AM

"Making the decision to stay full time in one gender is not an easy one, particularly for those of us of more mature year! After living many years presenting one gender to then make a permanent switch takes a lot of thought. For me I felt I had to try out what it was like doing real life things presenting as a woman, not just the fun things like going out to concerts, bars or galleries. I joined an orchestra as Paula and found that I enjoyed my music more and played with more sensitivity (as much as is possible on the bass trombone!) and that I was just more comfortable.

I would strongly recommend trying some real life experiences before making the decision, after all it may be possible to go back after going 24/7 but it could be both difficult and embarrassing!"

Thank you Paula!

I can't imagine ever going back, although I have to admit I miss doing several of the activities I did as a guy and I miss the simplicity of living as a guy.

My body is so feminized now from HRT, I know I could go back, but I can't ever imagining wanting to. Almost none of the people now ever knew my old male self.

Another Look

I have been fortunate enough to receive several fascinating comments from transgender women on their lifelong MtF transition from being a cross dresser, to where they truly belong...out and proud trans women.

The first came from Paula Goodwin and the second from Connie Malone:

"I have to say that I do not look back on cross dressing with any fondness. Sure, I felt terrific when I got all dolled up, but there was always an underlying feeling of guilt and shame associated with it. At first, I felt guilt and shame for doing something I could only understand as deviant behavior. However, the worst part of it was the deceit in trying to keep it a secret from loved ones and friends. Once I understood that I didn't need to cross dress in order to express my femininity, I began "fessing up" to myself and others. I asked for their forgiveness - not for my being trans, but for the lengths I would go to hide it from them. Coming out is one thing; coming clean is another.

My everyday wardrobe now - jeans, hoodie, and sneakers - is no different than what I used to wear in my male life. When I do have reason to dress up now, instead of a coat and tie, it's a dress and heels. The emotional and mental difference is like night and day, and the physical discomfort that may come with wearing foundation garments and heels is the only price I pay these days. I'm so lucky to feel pretty and not feel guilt. Freeing myself of the guilt, by the way, makes me all the more pretty!"

Nice! Thanks :)

Gender Reassignment Surgery

As I continue to "catch up" on all the back comments here in Cyrsti's Condo, I thought this one from Paula in the UK was highly significant, especially in the midst of the health care battle going on now in the U.S.

"Here in the UK our treatment is part of the NHS, certainly GRS is available, with top surgery also available for many MtoFs as well. Our medication is funded, yet electrolysis and other "cosmetic" treatments can be hard to get or not available depending on just where you live. 

Nobody will get NHS treatment before everybody is happy that they are ready, and that means socially and physically, after all this is major surgery and your need to be fit and healthy to get through it; there is also the "real life experience" which mean that we are expected to have lived in our true gender identity for some time (usually a couple of years) before being referred for surgery. It is worth noting that although the surgery is funded not all us will opt for it, taking the financial burden away makes it easier to focus on exactly what it is that is really needed."

Thanks Paula! 

I also know some individuals who don't think Medicare should cover Gender Reassignment Surgery at all in this country and they have their valid points too.

As far as the person goes who started this discussion, I won't see her until again until the latter part of July to garner any more information. In the meantime, I did ask my therapist and all she could say was she thought the person started with a doctor in the Indianapolis, Indiana area who did the surgery and took Medicare...then worked her way backwards from there.

I will try to find out more (as I said) from our next  LGBT transgender veteran meeting.

He Might be a Cross Dresser If?

This post was actually written in 2014:

I was talking to Missy the other day (my deceased wife's sister) about one of her boy friends "just happening" to have a couple dresses and women's underwear stashed in the back of his closet. She was waiting for me to "anoint" him as a cross dresser, or something.

The whole conversation brings up and interesting point which we haven't steered clear of here on occasion in Cyrsti's Condo.  How good is our "trans-dar" and once we come out to a genetic woman, how much better does her's become?

I know Pat has commented about her wife many times as I have about my deceased wife and current partner Liz.  It's a pretty simple deal. Genetic women are simply going to have a heightened sense of who may have entered their girls sandbox.  They were born into it as females.  No contest!

Now, as more and more of us come out of the closet as Paula Goodwin commented:  "as we stop hiding one side of ourselves they (the sides) stop being separate to the rest of our lives. I see that Stana is now going to stamp shows as well as Radio Conventions, as we all do more and more the "Gender" bit just becomes part of who we are (just like everybody else)." It's much easier for a genetic woman to have that "aha" moment when their trans dar goes off.  Even if it is wrong.

When we do come out to a woman around us that we know,  they begin to see "shadows" on occasion. All of a sudden, that guy they dated way back when or the cousin who came to visit just may have been a cross dresser?  To be sure, those guys may have been.  We all know there are far more cross dressers buried deep in closets than anyone knows about.

Plus, as I told Missy, there are so many different levels to our community, it's hard for us to keep track.  One man's cross dressing may be as simple as wearing panties and bra under his suit to work, all the way to transforming himself into that attractive well dressed "woman" you pass at the mall.

These days, I am careful to mention two things. One, does it matter if the man has a simple attraction to feminine clothes or two, if he has more than an attraction be sure to keep an eye on him.  Most of us are
facing a highly emotional, difficult, up hill battle if we transition.  She will need all the help she can get!

Cyrsti's Condo Easter Sunday Edition

Ker Plunk! Another Sunday Edition is hitting your virtual front porch. Here in Southwestern Ohio it's a bright shining Easter Sunday morning. Let's grab a "cup o joe" and get started!

Page One: Easter: Most of you know my views on religion and I am sick and tired of the religious right trying to usurp my rights under the guise of religion. Paula(who is from the UK) sent in this comment which says it all:

"As a Christian I would be profoundly saddened if any of my Church family felt that faith was something they only did on Sunday mornings and that they could leave it in the Church. We need to be outside the church displaying the love of God, ministering to the hurt, the sick, and the sad. There is no discrimination in Christianity, "There is no Greek, and no Jew, no master and no slave, no man and no woman." we are all equal in God's love and as God's children we should show that love to all.

As a European as well as a Christian I totally fail to understand what so many people in the USA as frightened of, and why they are so keen to go back into the sectarian politics of the last two centuries"

Thanks Paula and I think all of this religious paranoia is tied in with in the "Donald Trump" phenomena, gun violence "NRA" etc...as LGBTQ folk we have just been caught in the crossfire (no pun intended). For the first time ever, we are developing a real voice at the same time others consider us a real menace. To make a long story short Paula, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself and we have a ton of it!

Page Two: Yesterdays'  Coffee- Down Under:  Perth musician Jaime Page, who recently came out as transgender. Picture: Don Benson Photography.]

"PERTH rock guitarist Jaime Page is Perth’s answer to Caitlyn Jenner.

The married father-of-four, formerly Jamie, has shocked friends by recently announcing he is transgender.

Ms Page, who works at music store Kosmic Sound in Osborne Park by day, said she told her colleagues just before revealing her lifelong secret on Facebook last month.

“That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” she said."

Let's hope Jaime does not have the same ideas about being transgender as Caitlyn Jenner!

Page Three: History : From the  Toronto Star, Canada

"The woman who was trans before her time

Dianna Boileau was one of the first Canadians to have gender-confirming surgery, in 1970. She caused a sensation, then married and retreated from public life.

By: Katie Daubs, Feature Writer, Published on Sun Mar 27 2016


[Photo: Dianna Boileau, in an image from her book Behold, I Am a Woman, published in 1972. Born in Winnipeg, she later moved to Toronto, where she led a quiet life until a car accident on the 401 thrust her into the spotlight. She was tormented by the press and lost her job.]"

I would imagine Bobbie who is from that neck of the woods remembers this story!

Page Four: The Back Page: I guess we pretty much followed a good portion of the British Empire in this edition. Stopping in Australia, Canada, the U.S. and Great Britain itself. 

It's time for us to go and take advantage of a beautiful day and thanks as always for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo.

Momma Nature and the Cult of Fashion

Admittedly, I'm not the most "girly-girl" in the world, but this time of year I have some fun and do begin to think ahead to wardrobe issues. I really hate to look into my closet and be attacked so I get a head start on the seasonal changes.

I live in what is called a bi-polar climate. Tomorrow we are supposed to not get about 35 degrees (F) then next week we soar into the upper 60's. So ideally, I have to cross three climate lines with my clothes next week. Winter, spring and summer. The last two make it easier to think about my diet of course. Plus, I am thinking hair cut for the first time since I began to grow my hair long. The look I have added here is a "tweener" when I was doing it and I am thinking close to the length would be good.

Speaking of diet, Paula clued me in on what a "stone" equaled in weight in Great Britain - 14 lbs or so. Thanks Paula!

Shelle also commented the other day about her beauty "regimen" and basically, how it was all about habit aside from the products you use, or can afford to use. I have always saw it as ironic that most transgender or cross dresser women can expect the results they see in all these Pinterest glamour shots without work. One of the only redeeming value I can see about still shaving my old gray beard every day is the exfoliation I'm getting.

I'm looking forward to the warm weather too, because HRT has wrecked my thermostat as I whine about continually. I am freezing most of the time. This year though, I have been forewarned to stay out of the sun because of my iron levels.(Sunshine and UV rays causes them to soar.) They are much better but all in all they look as if I am stuck with them as a hereditary condition. 

Such is life in the fast transgender lane and "Momma" has been good to me I know, and yes I am looking soooooo forward to a sun dress or two this summer. Even if I have to wear it at night!

Me and You and A Post Named Boob?

It's bad when I have hit a writers block on my second book and Cyrsti's Condo at the same time. I would suppose you could call my morning "blocked"

On the other hand, I rely on some of you to help me unblock my noggin and you did it again this morning when you considered the physical (rather than financial) pain of beard removal. To catch you up, due to my age, I must go the electrolysis route versus laser, which will only work on dark colors of beard. (Not gray)

"Paula Goodwin commented:

It's the top lip that hurts most!

And 

Mandy Sherman

Being retired, I'm in that boat with you - gray beard (laser being ineffective) and likely never being able to afford electrolysis. Regrettably I didn't have laser on my beard area (like I did for my arms and legs when they weren't gray yet.)

I had some test spots done on my side-burn area and upper lip with electrolysis back in the day...and the pain - even with numbing cream - was awful. And this from someone who had a root canal done without Novocaine years ago. The pain made it an easy decision...

I guess that's what razor blades and MAC makeup are for..

And:

Shelle Iles

So very Happy for you,must feel very fulfilling at long last :)"

Mandy @ Paula, OUCH! 
Shelle, thanks :)

Here are my choices going forward it seems. Finally the long term financial prospect tunnel I'm looking at doesn't seem to have a train coming at me and I might be able to afford Electro and/or breast surgery this year. Right now I think I would opt for the latter. Mandy is right (about shaving and Mac makeup) although I hate it. Plus I never really know when my estrogen ingestion is going to be a problem with the Doc's. I know "the Big E" does not have everything to do with breast size but it does with over all feeling for me.

At the least, life is not boring!

True "Transgender Privilege?"

Perhaps the greatest amount of "privilege" goes to transgender women and trans men. After all, in most cases we have walked the mile on either side of the gender fence. Of course I have written about it here in Cyrsti's Condo several times over the years. All well and good-until Paula came along and said it better!!!:

"Very true, nothing makes you understand privilege like giving it up. There are now places I will not go, certainly not when alone where as a couple of years ago I could go anywhere without worry.

It is also right that the companionship of women is so much more supportive than the fellowship of men."

Thanks Paula!

Caitlin "Cruz"

With all the right wing Republican candidates out there in the primary, it seems I have a bunch of names yet to tie in with our girl Caitlin Jenner. Actually, I may have been to quick tossing "The Donald's" (Trump) name into all of this-indeed he maybe the one the least likely to spurt out homophobic or transphobic comments. Just a guess. As far as Cruz goes, from the first time I saw the Evangelical Tea Party Senator from Texas, I thought why doesn't he come out of the closet and get it over with?

To the point-here is Paula's comment from the UK:

"We should not be surprised that some transgender people have views we find difficult, that they have politics other than those we understand. Apart from that one single factor of being trans we are just like everybody else, just as likely to be intolerant, stupid, vain, and ignorant as anybody else. Being trans does not (necessarily) make somebody a nice person, any more than it makes then well informed or intelligent.

Sometimes I rejoice that there are now more trans people in the public eye, but we do have to remember that they are not in the public eye initially because they are trans, they are often first and foremost celebrities so it is unreasonable to expect them to be reasonable, articulate and compassionate people if they were not before coming out."

You are right Paula! But as a community? We are well known to "eat our own." Unfortunately in this instance with the Kartrashians it is much more difficult to separate fact from fiction-or ratings.

And no...no amount of hormones or surgery changes a person's basic personality. A jerk easily can be a bitch too. In Caitlin Jenner's case we can only hope she becomes more informed about all the true problems in the transgender community.

Don't You Love it When a Plan Comes Together?

When I have the time, I browse other blogs I have linked up here with. Recently Mandy Sherman and Paula Goodwin wrote about experiences which jogged my noggin. Specifically, Paula was writing about an experience she had with a "leaking boob" and Mandy about her experiences traveling as a woman on vacation. Of course, like many of you-been there-done it. Some of the experiences were extremely humorous-some close to tragic.

Bottom line is presenting as a woman is a labor intensive activity. I clearly remember the days when I was cross dressing a couple days a week. It seemed each time I would almost put the whole deal together until I was out for awhile and my panty hose started to slide down my hips, my heels became instruments of torture, my bra hurt too and I am not going to even mention my wig and makeup!

Slowly and all too surely I learned the basics of blending, comfort and style. I was mostly too stubborn with blending as I thought it was some sort of "right of passage" to wear a dress and heels where I was the only woman doing so. Of course, dressing for comfort such as women do brought me a much better enjoyment in the clothes I was wearing. (And not be a slob!) Ironically style has always seemed to come to me easily. Perhaps it's because of all the years I spent observing women of all shapes, ages and sizes.

Then, the more I transitioned and began HRT, a whole new plan emerged. One which involved attitude over appearance as a major factor. More on all of that coming up in a later Cyrsti's Condo post...stay tuned kids!

Bruce and Beyond

Perhaps the biggest and worst concealed "coming out" event in transgender history has come and gone.  Bruce Jenner is trans. The event was so big that:  " It even made the news on the BBC Radio four this morning, but I was in too much of a hurry to listen in depth. Once the decision has been made to live your life in the spotlight then it is inevitable that such a dramatic change will attract attention.

I suspect that this will be another drip that wears away at the opposition. I won't say that any publicity is good publicity, but anything that normalizes our situation can only help. ~ I still won't be following the circus though."

That comment came from Paula Goodwin across the pond in the UK.  

Very simply, I could write tons of posts on Bruce- so I am going to start slow. Actually my first thoughts were this is all good but Bruce is entering a life of trans privilege. Whatever procedure she decides to undergo-she can. Although she mentioned the pain and suffering of the real transgender world all so briefly, it won't affect her.

From personal experience, I know the indescribable joy of family acceptance and her family (the Jenner's) at least seem to be genuinely nice and real. You get back what you put into kids and Bruce should be proud. 

So Paula, I'm not so sure you missed anything of great importance. I was surprised when Bruce confirmed Zoey Tur-d (sorry-Zoey Tur'S) announcement earlier that many in Hollywood knew Jenner was trans as far back as the 80's. I just wondered if was then that Zoey was dropped from a helicopter on her head for the first time.

Of course, as we all know last night's show was also an elaborate kick start publicity show for the so called "real MtF gender transition" show with Bruce on the "E"Network.  After I saw the lacy black dress Bruce pulled from his "old" closet to show Diane Sawyer (he can afford to build his own "glam room now) I had a Zoey Tur_ flashback from her first interviews. 

All in all I'm grading it a "C" which we will discuss later.

Power Shopping?

Paula Goodwin also responded to one of the questions in a former Cyrsti's Condo post "Since You Asked."

"There do seem to be a number of stores, and service providers, perhaps more aimed at crossdressers, who charge some quite extortionate prices for what they sell as "specialty" and "confidential" items such as breast forms, large size shoes, and shapewear. Most of these items can be bought much cheaper on the high street or from mainstream suppliers much cheaper.

The last question I simply don't understand, in the UK anyone who represents a danger to themselves or others will get professional (medical) help, those who don't will have to wait interminably or pay for it."

Thanks Paula! I think his insistence on mentioning the stores which "pander" to the cross dressing community just means he is spending too much time looking and dreaming. Remember, this was the guy who purged one time and gave me half his "stash" from a storage unit he had hidden from his wife.

As far as professional/medical help in our VERY convoluted system goes-it is out there. But- in the great majority of cases insurance still won't cover it and most can't afford it. His deal was attacking the idea of therapy as a whole and it's effectiveness.

Finally, keep in mind, he will "almost" accept the idea of a true transgender person. On the other hand-transsexuals are in no way female and in essence all of us are cross dressers in overdrive. He made these determinations in the 80's when he went into the closet and is living there. 

In Hot Water?

OK, of all the responses I figured I possibly may get from my transgender "Bucket List" post about going swimming, I missed the point totally on this one. I thought Connie would zero in on me for my "bucket" being large enough to use as a wading pool- or my bucket is so old it wouldn't hold water anyhow!  Here's Connie's comment:

Senior Ladies Water Aerobics class at the community pool? I hear the sharks in Ohio are among the most discriminating; they prefer aged meat. Be careful that your feminine expression does not become just another old expression, considering that "valor is the best part of discretion", that is. :)

**Note-the closest sharks to me are in the Ohio River and they have different names: giant catfish and carp!

Then Paula commented:

Paula GoodwinFebruary 9, 2015 at 5:29 AM

In London and Brighton (and quite possibly other places as well) we have special closed swimming sessions at local pools specially for trans and gender diverse people. It is really liberating, and great fun. Having been swimming with the London group and on holiday I am now challenging myself t use my local pool.

Thanks Paula!  My prediction is if my swimming idea happens at all, it will happen at a hotel pool when Liz and I travel. And, yes Connie, I will warn them ahead of time about an oil slick if I don't wear the right water proof makeup!!!!