Mo Mail

This Cyrsti's Condo post is basically a potpourri of comments from you ladies.

First Paula Goodwin ran a little poll on her blog on a choice of three outfits she could wear to a holiday party.  The Fashionista in me won!   Paula GoodwinDecember 22, 2014 at 11:21 AM

You guessed my outfit for tonight!

Thanks Paula and I hope you had a wonderful time! You looked great!!!

Speaking of "Fashionista", how does hair fit in?  Here's an experience:

J.AlanaSDecember 22, 2014 at 11:14 AM

In my childhood, I was a tow-head blond but it got darker as I aged so that it became more of a darker blond/brown with red highlights. I was once mis-gendered because of my long blond hair. I'd just checked out and the bag boy said, "Have a good day miss" The check out girl had my atm card and corrected him. I just said "Thank you" 

Good point! If you remember even I mis-gendered a 14 year old boy with straight long blond hair recently in a surgical waiting room.  Furthermore, I believe my hair growth was one of the biggest surprises of my HRT. It happened quick and I believe was the biggest factor being accepted as a trans woman.

Finally, J.AlanaS., I had a similar 'encounter" with a bag boy who was just "melting" in front of me.  I was just a redhead in a baggy sweater and 1980's big hair wearing a short mini and flats. He could barely get out he would help me with my one bag of groceries to my car.  The cashier found it all to be quite humorous.

Do Blondes Have More Fun?

Paula and Mandy both commented on the Cyrsti's Condo post Historical Blond (hysterical?):

Paula GoodwinDecember 22, 2014 at 4:22 AM

1. The Blond Bombshell is still an aspiration for some of us! As my natural colour became lighter (grey) I found that using a wig of my original colour (Dark Brown) no longer looked natural as my skin tones had changed as well. However the grey did age me so I have just gone blond, being the wrong side of 50 I was a little worried what people would think when I was pretending to be a bloke, but so far no negative comments.
2. Mandy ShermanDecember 22, 2014 at 6:51 AM
3. Lucky you! Blonde would be nice....
   
   Every time my hair gets lighter, I get comments from my wife, which lead me to darken it up. She definitely rebelled at the highlights I tried...and it took several months for them to completely disappear!
   
   So I just stick with as close to my natural color (back in the day, since I'm gray now) as I can get.
4. Thanks ladies!  Looking back, I can see when I tried to go very blond was a mistake (I looked like a bloke, Paula) but going with a honey blond shade, I began to come and go in society.  My wife however, disliked any shade of blond on me- which (looking back) I think had more to do with her prejudice against other genetics than me. Also Paula, I'm a firm believer in NOT following the hair length rules and color shades on women of age.  Do your thing, own it and society will too-unless you are squeezed into a mini skirt and 4" heels in the mall. 
5. Mandy, sounds like you may be going through what I went through.  I am lucky Liz wants to play with my hair as much as I want to experiment with it.  The whole process is fun because it fits my shortened attention span! 

Your Credit is Good!

From our Cyrsti's Condo post "How Many Words IS a Picture Worth?

Paula GoodwinNovember 28, 2014 at 8:15 AM

Thank you for your comments here, I just want to pass credit where it is due, the photo was taken by the brilliant Justin David

 http://www.justindavid.co.uk/www.justindavid.co.uk/Home.html

He writes, photographs, and performs his own work, indeed he is an all round very clever and very nice bloke.

Thanks Paula!!!!

How Many Words IS a Picture Worth?

I have been meaning to write a post "focusing" on pictures here in Cyrsti's Condo for a minute now. Finally, I'm going to try to make some sense of a complicated concept.

If you are like me, pictures don't really represent what I think I look like.  So, either I try to play with them or just don't put much emphasis on them.  Years ago, I think I could take a better picture than what I really looked like. As an example,  I have used a picture on the left which is actually 10 years old and quite possibly the most commented picture I ever put on line...but...presenting to the public in this outfit was quite a different story for several reasons.  The picture itself as you can see, is essentially what I call- a picture of a picture-taken from a mirror reflection. It wasn't a "fake", but an adjustment designed to garner all the false adulation one can get on line-which does us NO good in the public eye.

Now, lets take my "red" picture below for an example.  I was getting a little better with my "poor person's" photo manipulation.  It's a blurred mirror shot too...without showing the camera. Nothing new about the process, just check out the close ups of the famous movie actress's of the 1930's and 40's.

Bottom line though, although I did feel as if these pictures made me look better than I actually did, they were only moments in time.  My feminine life was maturing and I was moving on.

Now, let's get back to pix and one I originally saw on Femulate from Paula Goodwin (left).  I positively love this!  I see a proud transgender woman in her musical element and the strength in her eyes! I could go on and on about Stana's and Janie Black's photo's and not even scratch the surface of trans women who also are able to present themselves wonderfully with a picture!

As far as I go, I can only say, I'm kind of working on pix,  and was pushing my very talented and creative partner Liz to help. She took the easy way out and just underwent major shoulder surgery. So, she will be "one arm short" for a couple months.  Excuses-excuses!!!

Perhaps for the first time in my life, I want the special picture or to which represents my spirituality with nature, writing, inner self etc.  I actually thought about sending in a picture to Femulate-but decided I don't have one which fairly represents where I am in life. To hell with looks.  Sadly, the subject was send in your fave photo and I don't have one-yet!

Finally, here is Mandy! Rightly or wrongly, I always look for a transgender person's picture who is not in the same room all time or a motel room- like Mandy!   OK, I'm a photo snob!!!

The "Golden Age" of Transitioning?

As sometimes happens, it seems Momma Karma throws a glob of spaghetti up on the wall of the Cyrsti's Condo kitchen here, just to see it if will stick.  This time the "glob" was made up of different ideas about transitioning later in life. Of course there was the latest post about 14 year old trans woman Jazz Jennings who I know some "purists" would consider to be "true transsexual" - because she was in the right place, at the right time,  with the right family and transitioned.

On the other side are the trans folks like me and on occasion, I get tons of feedback on my lot in life as a transgender woman. In fact,  Pat wrote me a very complimentary email concerning my Frock Magazine articles called "Frock of Ages", they deal only with the trials and tribulations of a later in life MtF gender transition. Thanks Pat! Of course, here in the Condo, you all get a taste of my noggin which is constantly throwing all kinds of gobs of spaghetti against what ever wall it can find. Including but not exclusively discussing, jumping the gender fence while you still can. (Before the Grim Reaper catches me!)

I almost called this post Deja Vu (which come to think of it would make quite the eclectic name!) Basically, it means having the sensation you have experienced your present, in your past. Isn't Deja Vu even stronger for transgender women and men because we have experienced so much-from the other side of the gender fence. Surely, most are rather mundane, but an example of one which isn't could be going to a football game, or a music concert or even to the mechanic to get your car fixed?

I also keep going back to Paula Goodwin's comments (and I paraphrase) at our age, less and less is new. She is right of course until you view the world from the polar opposite gender.  As my partner Liz says "how many humans have a second chance to build a new person?"

There is no simple answer to the pointless questions about "true transsexuals" of course. Just because Jazz Jennings can build her life from the ground up is a testament to her family and many who came before her. Remember how not so long ago, gender dysphoria was officially treated as a mental illness?

At any rate, I am not going to sit here and write about any golden age of transition-except in your noggin.  I finished one of my Frock articles by writing (and I'm sure you all who have transitioned more than me will agree) if you choose to go down this path-you will know if you are right.  The true test comes when the newness wears off quicker than the makeup you are putting on every morning! Genetic or not, "more mature" women need more "upkeep!"

When you get to the point of "Deja Vu" being one of your feminine experiences.  You know your male self has finally left the building.  Just tell him to "leave the gold!"

We "Gotz" Mail!

I was kicking around Cyrsti's Condo, wondering what to write about today, and a bunch of you stepped up and helped me with several fun and informative comments.  On certain days, my mind is on overdrive with ideas and others, it's very much on "sleep" mode!

In no particular order, I'm going to try to pass along the highlights of the comments and direct you back to the individual post for more.

The first comment comes from Cheri about my "Bitchy"  Quote of the Day:
I love this. That's how I feel today!
Thank you!
Hugs, Cheri

You are welcome!  I'm not sure if there comes a point in our transitions (especially if you take HRT) when the ability to be a bitch just comes with the territory.  Or, as my genetic friend Missy says, women are just mean away, so you have to be a bitch to survive!

Paula Goodwin commented on our Glamour, Goddesses and More post:

My boss asked me to pick him up a copy of Mayfair (quite soft porn, but would now definitely not be considered suitable for work!) I complied with his request, when I returned to the office I walked up to his desk handed it over after sheepishly pulling out my copy of Waterways World which I had hidden inside it. From that day on the girls in the office never let him forget what a *%$@#er they all thought he was! 

Thanks Paula, who by the way is heading on a vacation to Malta where she will need a swimming suit. That "fashion frontier" is obviously very unforgiving and I have given the idea quite a bit of "what if" thought on occasion. I do feel now, with HRT, i would have less to worry about in a swim suit-but still, it would be highly challenging.  Fortunately, I have never been much of a water person, so unless Liz would really want to go, I would never miss it!

This comment goes back a bit and involved the Pinterest picture I chose which for all the world looked like a young cross dresser in his college dorm room.  Back in the day, I actually went to two different colleges and one had a very active fraternity/sorority system.  Although I never did see them, it was rumored a couple of them did get together and a couple frat boys would be "chosen" for a sorority makeover.  Here was the comment from Mandy: 

 I did (go to college.) And I was (a fraternity member.) But I wasn't (asked to dress up.) Might have had something to do with the fact that I didn't live on campus...or more likely, they didn't think I'd be pretty enough?

Will never know for sure...

The young cross dresser on our left is neither Mandy or myself.  It's not hard to speculate what happened to him after his sorority "make over" and if the rest of his hazing involved going out with the rest of the girls that night!

I will have more comments soon in a future post!!!

"Stealth" in the Day

Paula Goodwin commented about our Cyrsti's Condo "Stealth in the Day" discussion recently:

Accepting the risk of upsetting a least somebody.... surely going stealth in the 60s, 70s and 80s was very much a feminist issue, if somebody was to be accepted as a woman then there were very few opportunities to be any type of woman other than the "little woman", the house wife / mother type. We now are developing fresh ideas of what it can mean to be a woman, and being trans is one of those types f woman it is increasingly acceptable to be.

Having said all that I am not a great fan of tee shirts with slogans on the so I will not be buying one that says "HEY I'M TRANS" if asked I will now always admit to who and what I am, after all I now accept that there is nothing wrong with who and what I am, but I see no reason why I should shout it from the roof tops.

I agree Paula about the "Hey I'm Trans Shirt." The closest I came is the transgender vet shirt I wore to Pride this summer in Columbus which said "I fought for the rights you deny me."  And I do have a neat Trans necklace!

and Pat:

Even though the jargon of our times during the 60s was about tolerance and acceptance (If it feels good, do it...Whatever floats your boat...Let it all hang out...etc) the idea of acceptance of T folks back then was miles away from where it is today. Back then passing was primary and going stealth was as much a matter of survival as choice. We've come a long way baby.

Unnamed Cross Dresser Bringking Back Memories of Ruining Hose!

Paula, I know you know by now the idea of "tip toeing" around all the various "special interest" groups in our community is impossible. In fact, in the past I have been criticized for even using the word community or "culture" to describe say, transgender women and cross dressers.  I'm in  a good mood, so I'm not going to even mention the so called true transsexuals, who anoint themselves with that label and SHOULD go stealth.  

Indeed, back in those days, passing in society was almost the only was to survive and yes SRS was the quickest route to it. (If it worked) Yes, we have come a long long way- which we will discuss more in depth in a later post!

Award Winning

This morning, being the radical person I am, I changed up my routine while the joe (coffee) was brewing, instead of burrowing into my email accounts, I just had to pass along this post from one of the few Tuba playing, super gardening transgender women on the planet....Paula Goodwin.  It comes from her Paula's Place blog and is called "Who am I?"  The subject is what makes a blog a "gender blog?":

Paula (on the right)

Here is an excerpt:  The other day I noticed a comment on Stana's Femulate which made an observation about "Gender Blogs", now it is usually the poss on blogs that get me thinking but this comment made me wonder, what is it that makes a "Gender Blog"? and is this one?

It seems that I'm not the only one thinking along these lines at the moment, Cyrsti noted on her Condo that she had made a few "genderless posts" and the wonderful Hanna wondered of she should be writing about more than just clothes and makeup, I enjoy these blogs and would say to them both, don't try to change, just carry on doing what comes naturally.

And more:

Certainly it was my gender issues that made me start the blog, it soon became a safe place for me to note my thoughts and feelings, and occasionally get some feedback from people who had walked this path before me.   It was a chance to talk about my outings, discuss my latest clothing purchases and talk about makeup.   But soon the rest of my life leaked in.   I am not just transgender but many other things as well, so I hope that is reflected in my blog, I know the blogs I enjoy reading most are reflect the whole person, not just their gender identity.  

First of all I was flattered to be included in Paula's thoughts and two, the excerpts above are just a portion of her thoughts. (Follow the link above for the whole post.)   

Finally, my feelings on the matter of writing a "gender blog" is this.  When I started Cyrsti's Condo, it even had a different name and was a suggestion of an on line acquaintance who I had shared my  cross dressing experiences with.  More than several people seemed to be be interested in my antics and wanted to read more.  Then my orientation began to change with HRT and living more and more as a transgender woman- and I kept writing.  So to this point, you all have transitioned with me to the point of even buying my book "Stilletto's on Thin Ice." - if you wanted the in depth version.

So I suppose, in many ways I'm beginning to feel the same way as transgender women such as Laverne Cox and Carmen Carerra do:  I am actively merging all my social media accounts involving my non gender related business and interests into one account on Twitter, Pinterest, etc...I do all of this and I just happen to be transgender too. An example is,  if you go to my Pinterest page you will see boards reflecting my love for vintage items and "ambiance" home decorating ideas as well as the usual plethora of cross dresser, transgender pix.

Who knows? Maybe as I merge everything I love into one person and project it into the world, I won't be writing a "gender blog" anymore.  But that is another topic for another post and thank you Paula!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Good morning "Condo-ites" or at least it is here in Southwestern Ohio U.S.A. All too often I forget to say "Hi!" to all of you reading around the world and on all the ships at sea.  I'm humbled-and thanks! Around here at least,   our too "sexy" for Ohio beautiful weather is till hanging around!  The coffee (Joe) is on and we have plenty to cover!

Page one.- Dressing in Layers.  Last week in a couple different posts we covered the lengths most of us had gone through to hide our feminine "collection" of items which we have worked so hard to find.  So far, one of the best I have read comes from our "Purging Revisited" post, from Mandy Sherman.  I have added the link for you to follow back and read her "hide and seek" story.  Speaking of Mandy, she like Paula has mentioned her blog in comments so I am now linked to both here in the Condo.  In addition to the natural "reciprocation" of linking though, I think it's useful to provide a look at the different layers of our community we reach out to here. From what I can read, Mandy may be at a different level of her transition than say Paula or I and an all together other place than Stana.  Then throw a Pat in from one angle and a Janie Black from another and that is why I find the layers of our community so fascinating!

Page 2.- Trans-Terfs.  Once again last week, I couldn't keep my over opinionated arse out of the time consuming, often crazy hate mongers tossing cheap shots over the web.  Always safely tucked away from behind their computers.  The best of the worst actually came from a person from the transgender side of the fence who basically laid out her case for a person not being "allowed" to be a transgender activist or speak about being trans until they have been living trans for five years.  I did get a chuckle when, with her best male ego,  she said she had this incredible amount of experience living on the gender frontier, so bow down to the all knowing her.  And, oh by the way, listen to her radio show...somewhere. I forever will be amazed at how much the trans terf's try to eat their own young.  The fortunate thing is, the person I am talking about is probably around my age-which means we are on our way out anyway!

Page 3.- We Had Fun!  Too much serious stuff just kills me around here. To combat it, I try to toss in a few of my "smart arse" ideas of what I think could be going through the person's mind in the photo.  In reality of course, all are un-named cross dressers from my Pinterest site.  So, also in reality, I don't know for sure any of them aren't genetic.  But as they say on gambling sites around here "for amusement purposes only!"

Speaking of Pinterest, it has become yet another "guilty pleasure" I didn't need.  What I do like like about it is though, it gives me a chance to express what fashions, style and other interests in my life are all about.  To put it in perspective I have about 2500 pins (pictures) on 52 boards. If you are interested, just Google it and search Cyrsti.

Page 4.- The Back Page.  Such a week!  I tried to get to all of you one way or another who sent in your fabulous comments!  I can't tell you how much they mean to me because believe it or not, writing a blog for an extended period of time takes on a life of it's own and not often an easy one!  I wish you all the best!!!