The Path

 The transgender path is definitely a path less taken by most human beings. However as more and more is learned about the transgender population and the more prevalent social media has become, the easier it is to understand the whys and how's of  embarking down a lifetime journey or path .All of which can even become more dangerous to the person taking it. Plus all of the current publicity could be emboldening more and more trans people to open their closet doors and explore the world. 

Exploring  the terror of a dark path often is a major problem, especially when anticipated gender euphoria never materializes. Or doesn't meet your expectations. I remember vividly when my gender path came to a fork in the road and I had to (or thought I had to) accept I would all of the sudden be attracted

Photo by Burst on Unsplash

sexually to men or continue to seek out the attention of woman. Even though I did go on a few dates with guys, I still didn't feel any particular sexual energy. Plus it didn't help when a creepy guy I also knew as a guy kept trying to approach me. I knew he made a yearly trip to Thailand so he probably was very aware and was attracted to "Lady-Boys". It didn't take me long to ignore him, just like all of those men who supposedly wanted to meet up for a drink and then never showed when I insisted on meeting in very public places. Plus, to top it all off I had a guy who managed to meet me a couple times before I found out he was married. As I was building my new woman, I most certainly didn't want anything to do with any of those guys.

Ironically, at the same time, I was finding I was getting along better and better with other women. Perhaps a portion of my success came because I was "mirroring" the others whose gender I desperately wanted to be as my authentic self. As I learned I had to first learn how to communicate on a feminine level. I thought I already did a good job from all my days dealing with women in the work world. But little did I know what I was missing when I climbed into the girl's sandbox. Sadly I didn't come out unscathed but I did come out successful. 

Today I do feel (and hope) the world is a kinder and gentler path for all LGBTQ people to follow. Just beware of the number of different side detours you may have to take to achieve your goal of living as your authentic self. Many will make your trip more interesting.  

Transgender Decision in Thailand

 

Thailand is considering whether to deport a transgender businesswoman who was convicted this month of illegal entry and is wanted in Malaysia for insulting Islam, a case that has put a spotlight on Malaysia's approach to gender identity.

Cosmetics company owner Nur Sajat, (above) as she prefers to be known, fled from Malaysia this year. Thai police confirmed that Sajat was arrested this month and was found guilty by a court of illegal entry and subsequently released on bail.

In Malaysia, she faces up to three years in jail and or a fine for dressing as a woman at a religious event in 2018, which she pleaded not guilty to, according to news reports.

Just Google It

 The group which is presenting me with a honor for my LGBTQ transgender military service so many years ago requested a picture if I could find one. It was so many years ago (1972-75) and was a time which I wasn't especially fond of having my picture taken anyhow, I doubted if I could find one. 

I was sure I didn't have any pictures "just laying around" the house. Finally, I remembered a few of the former guys who served where I did on the American Forces Radio and Television Service - Thailand Network actually put together a website years ago. I began to wonder if I was in any of their pictures.

I went out on a limb and googled my deadname and AFTN and amazingly, there I was. Listed in a group picture of the entire crew of the military Udorn, Thailand radio/television station in September of 1972. I would have been approximately six months removed from basic training and the station itself was still fairly new. A year before, a battle damaged fighter jet had crashed into the old station killing all nine of the workers inside. So the surprise picture brought back many memories, many not so good.

At any rate, I have decided to share the photo on Cyrsti's Condo. I am on the bottom row, first person on the left. I worked all nights then and lived off base, so somehow I escaped not having to wear a uniform for the group. Ironically the only other military person shown here not in uniform was my close friend Dave Mallett. 

With this group we operated and tried to maintain a 24/7 radio station and a 14 hour a day television station for the airbase and separate "secret" sites in Cambodia. Our job was to provide as well as we could a connection to home for the others we served.

I am humbled and honored to receive the award!

  

Back in the Day

I have always had problems with veterans who seemingly hit the peak of their lives during their time in the service.

Even though I have been fortunate enough to live a very full life, last night I found myself in the same spot.

Liz and I joined a mixture of cross dressers and a few transgender friends at a local steakhouse for dinner. Towards the end of the evening, the topic of traveling came up. Along the way, I mentioned to one of the cis-women I lived in Thailand for a year and was able to travel through three continents in three years when I was in the Army...Southeast Asia, Europe and North America (of course.) She was fascinated and didn't really question the why's and when's of why I was there.

At that point I began to feel guilty of acting like that period of my life was the highlight.

As I began to think about it though, it may have been. After all, I met my wife in Germany and she became the Mother of my only daughter. And, since I utilize the Veteran's Administration for my health care, including my gender transition meds, I have to include it too.

Either you could say my time in the service turned out to be one of the unexpected highlights of my life, or I made the best of a potentially very bad situation...serving directly in the Vietnam War.

However, unless I automatically want to out myself, I have to be careful about how I talk about my Army service. I have a tendency to tell the truth and say I was drafted. Of course then and now, women have not been drafted into the military. So I have concocted a story which is semi true, I worked as a contractor for the Army, since I worked for the Air Force for part of my enlistment.

It seems to work.

Out and About?

As Halloween rapidly approaches, it's time again for closeted cross dressers and trans women everywhere to step out of the closet and strut their stuff. Sometimes, I feel sad Halloween has lost much of it's "buzz" with me. Every year here in Cyrsti's Condo it seems, I have written about a few of my more memorable Halloween adventures. Of course the pressure was on when I knew it may be another year before I could get all dolled up and go out again. Along the way, I think I secretly hoped my friends would grow suspicious if I looked too much like a woman. As you may remember, I first came out to a few close friends after a Halloween party in Germany when I was in the Army.

Those of you who have any military experience wonder just how it happened, here is how:

First of all, I worked as a disc jockey for American Forces Radio and Television (AFRTS) which as you can probably guess was one of the more non-military jobs in the Army. Essentially, I landed my spot because I worked for my congressman on his radio station during college and seven slots opened up quite unexpectedly when a battle damaged F-4 hit the radio/tv station in Udorn Thailand.  Killing all in the station.

I put in a year and a couple days in Thailand and against impossible odds landed up with a try out for AFN in Germany. They told me they were going to send me to Stuttgart and "hoped I would improve." What it really meant, was they needed a morning DJ who could get up in the morning on a regular basis to do the show. I could.

We were housed in a school complex which included a large commissary, medical facility and other units such as signal corps. So, when these groups got together, the parties were pretty legendary. That was how I was able to find a Halloween party to dress as a woman for while I was in the Army.

However, there were several gaps in time before and after the party which I couldn't even think about Halloween, let alone dressing up.

Now I will go to the Cincinnati "Witches Ball" dressed as a gun moll of sorts because I have to.

I just don't want to be mistaken for a man in a woman's costume. 

Drafted?

I often wonder about what would have happened if I showed up for my military draft physical dressed as I deeply wanted to be. Probably, I would have still be taken and forced into the Marines, not the Army.

Ironically, Thailand, one of the places I was sent still has an universal draft for it's military. In Thailand though, transgender women can present paperwork and still physically show up as their authentic selves, to not get drafted into the male military.

Here is a picture of three:

Can you imagine the experience?

Extra Syrup on my Pancake Please!

This is the "Sexy Pancake" video from Thailand that is going viral on YouTube.  Here's ex laborer "Sexy Pancake" on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. Check out the kids watching!

More than Meets the Eye

Certainly most of us are enamored with the glamour and glitz of the ladyboy culture in Thailand. Very seldom though do we get a glance of the day to day transgender culture there.

I have mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo the year I spent in northern Thailand close to the Laotian border -back in the Vietnam non war days. I do get a chuckle when I tell someone I lived in Thailand for a year and they start asking SRS questions. If you weren't careful you could be a candidate for SRS and much more!

I was lucky. My occasional brush with danger during my AFTN days was when I had to drive the unit truck on Thai roads.  Forgetting I was navigating on the opposite side of the highway where the only rule was survival of the biggest could be dangerous.

So during my stay in Thailand, I was able to learn first hand the mix of Thai and Laotion culture. I found the people to be accepting and friendly of us and I loved the culture and religion. (For you trans vets, I had separate rations and lived off base.)

So when I'm able to find a bit of a different look at the transgender culture in Thailand, I can't wait to pass it along to you.

This YouTube international trailer is from a film called "It Gets Better":

 While I am on the subject of countries half way around the world from me, I received an email from a follower in Sri Lanka who wrote a piece about the blog. As soon as one of us can get it translated from Sinhalese I will pass it along. In the meantime, take a quick peak here to see a beautiful example of how the word Sinhala looks.

This brings me to another point. What is scary to me is my grand kids have not been taught any cursive writing since the second grade. The two oldest academic over achievers show it. My daughter is very diligent in insisting they write hand written thank you notes for gifts. Bless their hearts but I guess their schools figure they "don't need no stinkin hand writing!"

Pageant Photo

One of the contestants from last November's Miss International Queen womanless beauty pageant in Thailand.

From Thailand with Love!

Kevin Part 2

Just another picture of Kevin Balot from the Philippine's who recently won the "Miss International" pageant in Thailand.

Is That You Kevin?

Give Kevin credit for using his real name (I guess?)

Filipino transgender beauty titlist Kevin Balot beat 21 contestants from 15 countries to be crowned Miss International Queen 2012 in Pattaya, Thailand on Friday, November 2. Kevin?

Nong Poy

Transgender-Transsexual Thai Beauty Nong Poy.

Trans Wreck Part Deux

Thanks for all the response!
Some of you have emailed me having not unraveled the Google process to comment here. I think you have to have a Google account of some sorts?
Janie, who I will post her comment in a bit-I had to establish a "Wordpress" account to comment on your blog. These are times I wish I was more computer literate.
No I didn't derail, back to the Wreck and Janie's comment:

"I do believe there are girls out there who transition for the wrong reasons. It is an awfully big decision to make in one's life and unfortunately the gatekeepers do not really properly restrict the availability of hormones and SRS to those for whom it is needed. I expect that profits and politics are the chief reasons for this. There is a line than needs to be walked between not being unduly restrictive with transsexuals who need these things and preventing those who don't from making a big mistake. If what you say about this woman is correct, someone in the system should have told her, "No." It is so hard for us to understand ourselves sometimes and we need others to do their job."

First and foremost I agree.  One word can describe one trans girl's dilemma: "Thailand".
Back in the day a transgender woman had to live a year as a female before a reputable clinic in this country would do the SRS surgery. Now the standards are cash and slash.
Right or wrong, I don't make any value judgement on any of this. I have a hard enough time with my own life.
BUT! I do wonder sometimes when I see a show where a person still living as a man is shown shopping for a feminine wardrobe before heading for SRS in Thailand. With the hormones he still looks as a effeminate man and after the surgeries he does look as an attractive middle aged woman. Wonderful but I still wonder if he got to live as a woman enough to make such a crucial decision.
We all have to know looks are just a gateway to a "jenderjump". The world is different. I've spent two years now writing about it!
As a group we are no different than any other culture. We make mistakes too.
What separates us is we seem to take such pleasure on feeding on our own.
Cross dresser, transgender or transsexual; a trans wreck is never pleasant but never should be a cause to attack others.