Monday, February 28, 2011

Hard to Believe

It has been nine months since this blog hit the world wide web thanks to Al Gore.
I thought I would get brave and look back at the first post.
Some three hundred posts later, this was how it all started!
Here is one of the stories I sent to a friend  and she thought I should share so...Here" ya" go! Direct from alternate life style redneck bars , two stellar tales...of me being me.
The first establishment basically was a female biker bar, not hardcore outlaw women, but a serious crew none the less. The best way I can describe the place was I got the juke box turned off one night when I played Shania Twane "Lord I feel like a Woman." No sense of humor...kind of like the urinal that was made into a planter.
The best pick up line I heard was "you don't look half bad. Maybe I should take you with me and we can see what kind of time we could have."
YAHOO. Me thinks that could have hurt!
Back in those days my wife was still alive and I had to be home around midnight. She got off about that time and I had to be presentable with all signs of makeup gone. Believe me, no amount of jabbering would have saved my place in the house when I told her I was abducted by an alien lesbian.
A kinder and gentler lesbian bar also operated on the same side of town. I made friends there that I'm in touch with today. (5 years later)
One night karaoke was the entertainment. Here she comes...burr haircut, cowboy hat and weighing in at a
conservative 250.
I'm in long blond hair, tight jeans and boots. It occurred to me quickly...  it may be about time I started sharpening up my non existent singing skills.
She did ask me to sing, she TOLD me to pick out a song. I thought "is this the way they treat girls in Texas?" 
I opted for the only song my male self destroyed after many beers...the romantic ballad
 "You don't have to call me Darling, Darling.  You don't even call me by my name."
 David Allan Coe if you're familiar.(I think he wrote it in jail?)
After we made sweet music (ha) she said "your voice is as low as mine!"
I felt as if I was in a "Lola" song remake, just all twisted up. In this version, I was the guy and she was Lola. Well, I kind of was the guy and she was kind of the girl but backward... when and if she put me on her knee. I thought maybe I could outrun her if I took my boots off!
We parted friends (thank god!) and I don't truly know if she guessed my gender. I had never seen her before or after!
Unfortunately all the pure lesbian bars are closed now in the area. How
sad. I miss drinking free. But more importantly, I won't get to try out
one of my top fantasies...female strippers in a lesbian bar! Dammit!
Mo MO MO! as Billy Idol would say was coming up!
Some fifty thousand visitors have read all or part of the blog over the past 9 months which is small compared to some but huge in my mind. I would like to thank all of you again for the chance to share a slice of my life with you!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

This Says It All!

I wonder on occasion why some of us say or think we don't have a chance with a "real man".  In the majority of cases, the "real man" we don't have any chance with is a gay one.
This letter tells us all why we have a chance!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My first love was a beautiful transsexual
woman and she just loved being a woman so much. She delighted in
frills and satin and lace and stockings and pretty clothes. No one
since has ever appreciated her femininity in the way this special
woman did. She had all the operations years ago and had worked so hard
to get a body that matched her intensely feminine soul. Our
relationship sadly came to an end because of my big promotion and move
to Winnipeg, and her desire to stay in Montreal. Two years have passed
and understandably, she has another man. I have dated some very nice
straight women here but they only dress up on special occasions.
Winnipeg women love their old jeans and comfy clothes. So, I find I'm
not satisfied with the women I meet because they're not the
ultra-feminine woman she was. I miss taking my woman out for Saturday
shopping trips to buy her beautiful things. I guess I got spoiled. If
I advertise I'm transsexual-friendly online I'm going to look weird
and suspect, like I have a strange obsession and might be scary. I am
a straight guy who lucked into meeting my first love, and hope to meet
a similar lady who enjoys living in Winnipeg, which will be my home
now. I just want that kind of woman who's kind of an old-fashioned
southern belle. Help! -- Vive La Difference, Wpg.
This comes from the "Winnepeg Free Press"
Cyrsti

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Slip Slding Away.

Enjoyed a super evening last night  A friend and I got together for some adult beverages and some electronic trivia. She and I are both relatively competitive and immediately developed a grudge against the best trivia player in the pub. We  did manage to beat him once or twice!
As the night progressed, the other patrons kind of faded into the background. I was not worried about being "spotted" I was just me.
On occasion I did look around (as any one would) and again there was nobody looking back I felt entirely comfortable and secure in my skin.
As I always do, I had to spend some serious "think" time on the whys and hows of the evening.
One fact stands out, attitude ranks somewhere up there with looks if you are in my gender situation.
During the day, I was chatting back and forth with a trans woman who has gone the "SRS" route.
By the time I was getting ready to go out, I was convinced I had no chance of not getting laughed out of everywhere I went. After all, I had not gone through all the needed electrolysis and hormones to make my face smooth as silk. She was right, I hadn't! But, it didn't matter. My beard doesn't really show and I guess my pores didn't matter. I was home. I was who I was supposed to be.
As the room and all the people sort of slid away my girl thought.... life was good!

Friday, February 25, 2011

A Free Sex Change?

Yes, in Thailand of course. From the "Bangkok Post" comes this story.
Sexual reassignment surgery is not currently covered by any health
care system in Thailand. The Sister's Hand foundation is a private
organization that was set up to provide a small number of transgenders
with the necessary funding for full surgery.
A competition is held every year for the gift. Started in 2010, this is the second year of the project. There are
only five places available as each operation costs approximately
100,000 baht. Almost 100 people applied.
Photos by Somchai Poomlard.

A couple of these pictures prove that not EVERY trans woman in Thailand is beautiful.


























Except maybe the final photo above. Identified only as a "cabaret performer".
Do you think any national organization here will step forward to set up such a fund? Naah!

Transgender Fiction

I've seen this art form a lot.
"Jenny North" has a site called "TG Graphics and Fiction Archive".
I have never been really into much of the real fiction, I choose to believe much of the other information I see and read. (which could be fiction too!)
The whole venue is such an interesting part of our culture that I had to pass it along.
If you haven't been to the site yet, there is a ton of material.
Here's a small example:
If you go to the "Femulate" site much, "Stana" uses many similar cartoons!
Enjoy!

Just When You Thought You Have Seen It All...

Check out Haruna Ai, the Japanese transgender woman who won the "Miss Transgender Cosmos Pageant  last fall.

You can call me Cyrsti or you can call me Kristi.

But don't call me a transvestite or a crossdresser or a transgendered or a transsexual.
Blah, blah,blah!
Perhaps you have read some or all of the endless rhetoric about our group and labels...but here is more.
From "down under" even!
The time has come again to talk about terminology.

The biggie is the ongoing furore caused by those who want to make
distinctions between various sub-classes of the transgendered
community, partly, I fear, because they want to assert a pecking order
in a range which includes cross-dressers, pre-ops, post-ops,
androgynes and drag adopted for various reasons — some commercial,
some for personal and temporary amusement without an ongoing
commitment to gender change, temporary or permanent.

For many years I thought of myself as a transvestite and acted
accordingly but the time came when I admitted to myself, and the
world, that I was transgendered. For years I imagined the correct term
was transsexual, because I accepted the term in general use, rather
than thinking through the assumptions created by the inevitable
parallel with the words homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual and
asexual.

In other words, that ‘transsexual’ had something to do with sexuality
and the selection of sexual partners. Like many who want the name to
reflect the truth, I now prefer ‘transgender’.

But hey, sexuality, like politics and religion, is a movable feast.
There are those who change their sexuality, with or without also
changing their gender role.
From the Sydney, Australia . "StarOnline".

The Shrinking Transgendered Girl?

I read an article by a big girl explaining the "big girl" role.
Here is a small part.
Must be overly cheery, smiley, and always happy. Not a complainer. Must take everything in stride. Must not shine. Can be pretty, but no prettier than the main character. Role of big girl is an attitude, not a number on the scale. Must be willing to dim your light so others can shine. (from "BlogHer")
I thought, that's me! In reverse.
The majority of the time I'm the "shrinking transgendered girl". The rules are to never really make eye contact. Don't speak until spoken too and give the minimum social effort.
The ultimate in trying to blend or the the ultimate in trying to disappear in a crowd?
What am I missing here? A lot!
To many, I come off as a bitch. They wonder why I don't speak. I totally miss out on some possible great interaction.
That's crazy. So what if I'm read as transgender? I am what I am. It's my ego (male?) slipping through with my inane "rating" system. At the end of the evening, I judge the success of the night on how many people "read" me or not.
Just as the "big" girl needed to change her focus, I need to change mine. I should judge my evening on when and if I met anyone or entered their lives at all.
Missing life due to shrinkage is no fun!!!!

Pioneer Women?

I do possess a degree in history and follow the past with some sort of passion and interest.
Of course transgendered history is very high on my list! I do believe through the past we can sometimes predict the future, or at least use the years as a yardstick. How far have we advanced? If at all?
Of course we all remember "Christine Jorgensen" who broke the gender barrier early in the 1950's.
The first British Transssexual possibly was "Roberta Cowell".
Roberta actually went through her operation nearly a year a half before Jorgensen.
There obviously won't be national holidays to remember pioneers such as these two ladies. Think of how difficult it was for them to go through basically an experimental procedure.
Think of how society as a whole viewed any gay person, let alone a trangendered one?
In society we are still largely made to ride in the back of the bus.
However, thanks to courageous  women like these, we have been able to move up a couple of rows.
Sooner more than later, we too will be able to sit where we want on the bus!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

My Time of the Month?

Maybe it's the winter "blahs". It seems my part of the world has been locked in the grips of a gray snowy winter longer than usual. Maybe it's the decision of where and how my life may go is affecting me? No matter how I cut it I'm on this cliff looking down at major decisions. Do I continue down the same dual gendered path or do I explore the wild wonderful world of hormones?
Complicating the matter even further is the sexual aspect of all of this. Which, by choice I don't discuss here.
Right or wrong, I have lived my life on it's own playing field. It has called the plays and I have responded. Do any of us have the right or opportunity to really challenge destiny?
Deep down inside the girl in me feels so at home. Life obviously has shown be the path but not how to walk it or the courage to do it.
Then again, is all of this just a reaction to coming off of a tremendous high at the first of the year?
New look, new friends and challenges have leveled off as they always do. I cherish my friends and they are so difficult to find that I find a tremendous satisfaction when I find one.
Maybe it's time for my own personal trip to my beauty salon.  Why not work with a new hair style? Cis-women have done it forever. I just have been hesitant to go that route too much.
One of the benefits in my part of the world is the changing of the seasons. The rebirth of life in the spring is just around the corner.
It's time to shop for more than new spring fashion!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

High Maintenance?

This quote came to me from one of the many places I subscribe to. I don't remember which one and it doesn't really matter. We have heard it before.
She wrote: "A look that has comes to us via porn, ladyboys, transsexuals, queer
culture and high fashion is a look I now see on the bus. This excess
of femininity may compensate for endless anxiety about appearances.
There is nothing natural going on here, and some women are not hiding
that fact. To become a woman is to become a female impersonator. How,
in such a world, can we say to any young girl: "You are fine just as
you are"?
All so true. Every young girl should feel she is fine as she is. BUT it's unfair to blame the female beauty ideal on us!
Men are visual creatures and women provide the vision. Isn't that how it works?
Since the first cave woman put berry juice on her lips to attract a caveman, what was that?
There are many women with fine natural beauty. There are as many if not more without it. Does that mean the rest of us can't take advantage of all the resources to look better?
As role models go in today's society shouldn't women mentor the young girls? Feed their self esteem? Makeup, fashion and clothes do not make the woman. That is all inside.
All of this reminds me of the early rhetoric of the feminist movement. Burn your bra...unless you look terrible without it.
How is it so terrible to take pride in our outside appearance?
Human nature has made us the high maintenance gender. Work with it!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Trans Athlete Comes Out?

It has to happen!
When will a  pro athlete come out as transgendered? Let's take "Kimberly Reed" for example She was a.star quarterback in high school. Paul wasn't a "NFL" caliber QB but a good enough one to attract college attention. What if Paul was good enough to play in the NFL? What then?
 By the way, if you haven't seen or heard of her movie "Prodigal Sons" check it out!
You have to know percentage wise, there has to a a major athlete or two who are transgendered. 
Take the recent "Miquel Cabrera" story. Cabrera is a very good baseball player for the "Detroit Tigers".
If you haven't heard the story, Carbrera was found drunk behind the wheel of his car on the night before he was supposed to report for spring training. This wasn't his first run in with the bottle but as he told the cops "you don't know what I'm facing".
I used to try to drink away my transgendered feelings so I just thought for a moment...what if that is his problem? In no way am I saying it is or ever was, but I'm betting there are those out there that are!
Think about it.  What's the best way to overcompensate for your "girlish" desires? Athletics of course.
But can you imagine the pain of that closet? If you have the ten zillion, five year contract on the table, that's a lot of pressure.
Being the sports fan that I am and the mind I attempt to function with, I just thought of all of this and decided to pass it along!

"We Are the Third World Transgendered Country!

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness has been proven time and again to not be so true for transgendered citizens of the US. From the recent report on transgendered poverty and violence to transgendered rights being systematically ignored (Ohio), we seem to be winning on the runways (transgendered supermodels) but losing our civil rights. If we had many to start with.
In the meantime, our neighbor to the North, Canada is trying to pass a bill guaranteeing basic transgendered rights.
In India "Project Kalki" is trying to empower poor transgendered women as community journalists.
Maybe our country will stand up and do the right thing! Hopefully I will live to see it!
You know, I really don't care what most people think of me as as transgendered person. Liking me or not liking me should not be a factor in taking away my rights as an American!


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Thanks!

Every now and then I try to take time out from my rants, news and personal things to tell all of you "THANK YOU"! for being a part of my blogging experience.
If you ever want to get a hold of me feel free to email cyrstih@yahoo.com.
No question is too crazy or off the wall. I've been in that closet with the rest of you so if you just need a shoulder to lean on that's OK too.


Cyrsti

Friday, February 18, 2011

Some Good...Some Bad.

The good. "Singapore" is hosting an on line contest transgendered beauty pageant.  The small island is prosperous but very conservative and this pageant is the first of it's kind.  "Tru Me" is the contest's name. Follow the link to yet another wonderful example of Asian beauty!
The good. "Oprah Winfrey's" interview with trans super model "Lea T."  Oprah usually always does it right but can't stay away from the "where do the male parts go?" questions. I also felt that "Lea's" true beauty really came through on the show.
The not so good. "Adam Sandler" who is currently filming his latest movie "Jack and Jill" also took time to cheap shot his transgendered housekeeper On "David Letterman". 
He should be getting makeup and fashion tips from his housekeeper.
Is this is the best the "Hollywood" makeup guru's can do with Sandler? Really? What a disappointment with his mouth and looks.

There is Always One!

The fun part about "womanless beauty pageants" is picking the possible "pro" in the crowd. The one contestant who seems to look better and is more comfortable in his "new" clothes.
Check out this recent picture from a "Suffolk, Virginia" pageant.
It's not real hard to pick out that person!  What a wonderful way for a closeted person to show off!

Dressing Your Age!

One of our pet "peeves" on the blog is our problem with "dressing our age"
As you've probably noticed, I have subscribed too and become a fan of "Fabulous after 40".
One of the women who writes the blog came up with these sets of rules after a fashion failure on a night out:
  • I will do my “homework” before going out. (That means googling the place)
  • I will wear high heels.
  • I will make sure my outfit is youthful, but not like I’m trying too hard.
  • I will stop comparing myself to younger women! (I am going to be happy to be me!)
  • I will post a photo for you all to see.
When you are going somewhere new, the internet is a wonderful tool.  I should have just googled Nic’s Martini Bar before I got dressed and then pushed “Images”. Usually up pops what the inside of the place looks like, and sometimes it will even show images of people there.
We Glam Gals are firm believers that what you wear will and can give you more confidence, energy and possibly even help you have more fun.
There you go girls. You can be gorgeous at any age. Someone will be looking!

"Social Female"

The "chat" in the last post continued with my friend to the point of "cis women" as a whole and their reaction to us.
Her opinion turned out to be a lot more negative than mine. She thinks women have an "entitlement" issue with admitting a trans female into the circle. We haven't "paid the dues" so to speak and are we just a wolf in sheep's clothing? She feels her exclusion after "SRS" (by female friends) was an entitlement issue. Regardless of the change in genitalia, she was excluded from the female circle. My situation was (and is) different from hers and I would be excluded from my little network of friends if I went full time and had the change.
I  disagreed and pointed out I felt I had been admitted to a couple of circles and these are the reasons why.
First of all, let me give you my definition of friends in this situation. I see most of them once a week and text others on a regular basis. We know about each others lives to an extent and we seem to like each other. The group covers all of the female spectrum from straight to ftm. Here are some observations about the group.
My cis girlfriend doesn't like my male self. She prefers not to see me as a guy and never refers to me as one. 
Only one out of five has ever seen me as a guy and that was nearly two years ago. There has never been a secret that I am not a cis female but then again I'm treated as a "social" female. We talk make up, clothes, diets hair and family. I've been invited to couple "girls night out" and of course an NFL game.
I don't know where this all leads me except to feel wonderful about them.
No one has ever asked me about my gender plans for the future. My assumption is if I left for the SRS surgery and returned, I would still be me (with certain improvements of course).
In their eyes I still would be a social female anyhow, so I don't know why anything else would change.
So now I went and did it. I coined another term, "social female". It feels good though. As good as interacting with my friends. I know and they know I will never have experience of their lives.  On the other hand, "cis" or "social" can be bridged by a pleasant friendship.

Cyrsti

Thursday, February 17, 2011

"Steath Girls"

I chat with a very interesting, educated and intelligent woman at least once a week.  I would have had no way of knowing she was not born female from her pictures until she told me. I really respected her for that.
In her part of the world, she is going to interact with a government agency about discrimination. I immediately thought "transgendered" and she told me not necessarily.  Unless "outed" she was going to protest as a "bi female". I thought wow, our group and her group just got left out again.
I started to think about it and here is part of my response:.
I read "stealth" into much of your ideas.
I used to feel that the trans people who finished their journey just went away and vanished into thin air somehow hurt our group as a whole.
Our true role models disappear and we are left with Jerry Springer.
More and more, my ideas are changing. Realistically, if I was taking the path that you and many others have taken to evolve into your mental gender...I would go stealth too. Maybe.
One could even argue the term "stealth" could be changed to "arrive".
In addition, I try to be as stealth as the next trans girl in public. I am what I am and have very few problems any more in my chosen gender. So am I stealth or have I arrived?
I satisfy my need to "pay forward" and help others with my blog. That's enough right now.
The end result is I have so much respect for the "radicals" amoung us who are anti-stealth and showing the world who we really are. 
"Radical Queer" or whatever the "Anti Stealth" would be labeled is a fork in the road I will face later!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Drag Race Dee-Troit.

Here we go again. Yet another television "epic" featuring violence and drag queens in Detroit.
That's original!
If you are interested, follow the "Epic" link above to an article about ABC and their cop show "Detroit 1-8-7". In fact you can watch the entire episode.
"Nuff" said!

Preference.

Sometimes the most beautiful women,,,aren't!  "Rhianna and Andrej.

Do Real Women Shave?

Should You Shave Your Legs Flowchart
From one of my favorite "real girl" sites. "The Frisky"

Gender Stereotypes? Really?

Who would have "thunk" it? It seems the "pink and blue" has been around since the cavemen. In fact, that is not the case at all.
According to an article in the "Record Gazette" . "Erin Steele" tells us just how special we used to be "back in the day."
Way back in the day as a matter of fact.
There is anthropological evidence from early North American native tribal cultures that there were three genders: the male, the female and the male-female, called the two-spirit, who showed both male and female characteristics.
The two-spirited person was believed to have received a gift from the Creator – the gift to see everything from two perspectives at one time, and were respected as teachers and healers, caregivers and more in their communities. Tests were given to children at a young age if thought to be two-spirited, so they would have the precious opportunity to fully bloom.
Unfortunately, as we all know, European settlers imposed their word of God on the Native culture, where there was no place for a third gender.
This is hardly new news in the transgendered community. Erin Steele's real reason bringing it up was to praise a bill moving through Canada's government.The bill prohibits discrimination based on an individual's gender identity and gender expression. It passed third reading in the House of Commons last week, and is a positive step forward for open-mindedness.
Maybe next time I see an article on "gender stereotyping" I won't be so quick to dismiss it! Additionally, way to go Canada!
Can you image any bill close to this making it's way through our congress? Our legislators have a higher calling. Wasting our money.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Danish Girl?

Danish "Lili Elbe" was supposedly the first person to go through sexual reassignment surgery.
"Nichole Kidman"  will be in Denmark this summer to actually start filming this story.
Her story is a fascinating one.  Lili was born "Einer" in 1882.  Later in life he married the artist Gerda Wegener.
When a female model did not show up for a session, Einer stepped in and Lili was born. Einer enjoyed and became so comfortable as a female, he eventually had the surgery which was very experimental in those days.
Gerda and Lili moved to Paris where Lili lived openly as a woman and even turned down a marriage proposal.
The only problem with the film is that Kidman is playing Lili.  Once again a transgendered actor is turned down for a role.
The movie has had a very rocky start and reportedly will start filming this summer in Copenhagen.

Monday, February 14, 2011

What's It Really Mean?

All the current fashion runway publicity revolving around "Lea T" and "Andrej Pejic" means exactly what to the transgendered community?
Did the "glam rockers' or the "club kids" do any thing for us? No not really. No mainstream change. When movies such as "Tootsie" came out, did that help? Maybe a little.
"Alex Fury's" article in the UK's "Independent" gives us some possible insight from the runway.
Here's is a portion of his story.
So where will this interest take us next? The womenswear shows are
currently in full flow, hot on the heels of a menswear season that
questioned the status quo between the sexes at every turn. Whether
fashion will bravely continue to transgress the boundaries, or will
wilt into the shadows of gender stereotypes, remains to be seen.
Leading the vanguard as he prepares for Candy's third issue, Luis
Venegas is philosophical about his aims. "If showing these images and
stories somehow helps to change the conventions and what people see as
elegant or right or wrong, I'm happy about it. That wasn't the plan,
but at least people can look at this in a different way."
For what it's worth, I'm a real believer that we are starting to see the merging of the genders.  Human evolution, chemicals we consume and social media outlets are pushing the gender envelopes like we have never seen
If the current runway style helps or not has yet to be seen.  At the least, it's not negative and probably does not reach much of society, but who knows? It can't hurt!

Happy Valentines's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!
Cyrsti


Andrej Pejic of course!
**see more pix in the library!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

More Fashion Tips!

Ok girlfriends, here is another fashion site I found which could be great fun!
It's called the "Budget Babe".
I subscribe to four or five fashion sites to try to improve my style and I'm always on a budget! So this one fits (unlike most of the clothes)!
Every once in a while, I find a "nugget" that I really like, can afford and can wear.
In addition, I respond to a couple of sites on occasion with transgendered beauty questions and insights. "Blogher" has a "beauty wall" I've posted on twice.  I feel the so called "cis-female" blogs are as good as place as any to ask questions!

Up Against the Wall!

Passing by the wall of employee info, I happened to glance at the "Equal Opportunity Statement"
Of course I have seen it a million times and like everything else, it kind of just blends in after a while. This time it didn't.
I realized it did not refer to me.  As an older white male, I have been conditioned in the rules and regulations of equal opportunity hiring. Primarily, questions you can ask or not ask in a interview situation. It occurred to me that if I asked "are you transgendered" and the answer was yes I could basically say thanks and we will save your application. (Don't call us...we'll call you)
I also thought if I changed my clothing to meet my chosen gender, I would be gone shortly at my job.  Sure, I could sue and make a big deal about the whole thing. I would but the end result would be the same. I have no equal rights.
What am I doing about all of this?
I feel the acquaintances I meet and the columns I write help a little. I wish I could do more, surely like the rest of you. Hopefully together we can continue to do our "small parts" and the future will bring equal opportunity to us too!
If I didn't mention "Stana" and her "Femulate" blog at this point it would be a huge mistake.  Her "outreach" efforts to colleges in her area are a classic example of bettering our future! She is a quest speaker and explains life as she knows it and more importantly answers much needed questions! Following in her steps is one of my goals!

L-Room Chatter.

I've written before about how mundane I've found the "atmosphere" in the ladies room. (I did find how many women are not ladies!) lol!
I was prepared for this mystical experience in an estrogen filled escape for women.  Where they go in pairs and disappear.
Another myth shattered.  Sure the conversation normally centers around guys or families and every once in a while "I'm bleeding like a stuffed pig."
Last night though was different in one of my visits to "the room". One of the servers in a place I go on a regular basis couldn't wait to follow me in and show me her new engagement ring. Wow I thought quickly, how do I handle this girl to girl?  Do I jump up and down like the women I see in the jewelry commercial? Just kidding!
I was properly impressed and asked her if a date had been set and said the ring was beautiful. I was more impressed that she wanted to show me! How nice!
The best comment however came from one of two women who were busily talking about a certain date one of them had been on.  I was in the stall and overheard one of them say " I was wearing a short top with red leggings and heels. I normally don't dress that way."  As I came out and washed my hands, one of them was adjusting "the girls" dressed almost exactly that way!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Beautiful At Any Age!

One of the most common ongoing arguments in the transgendered community concerns fashion.
Presenting yourself as a female is part look and part attitude to be sure. Your look however, can go a long way in helping you to feel better in your new gender.
Of course I gravitate to the groups in my age bracket. Lets say 40 to 60.
The argument is always the same. You must dress "age appropriate" To be sure, you don't want to be the one in Wal Mart in a mini and heels getting laughed at.  BUT what exactly is "age appropriate?
Here is a site you might want to check out if you are an aspiring "cougar". "Fabulous after 40". 
Believe me, I'm not one to shop in the "juniors" dept. On the other hand I don't believe in a woman cutting her hair short at 40 because it is appropriate and I certainly don't believe a beautiful woman of any age should not make the most of her "assets".
Age is truly just a number. If you are taking care of your body and your skin etc. why not take advantage of it?
With the help of experts such as "Fabulous after 40", maybe you could be the next cougar?

Close Friends!

This story comes to us from the UK
Two transgendered teens were featured in an article in the "Sun"
The tabloid headlines screamed "Cindy and Natalie like shopping and doing their hair together. Nothing odd about that ...except they are boys."
The article by "Kate Jackson" goes on to say:

TEEN Natalie Brammer is tall and striking, while best pal Cindy Jackson is a fraction shorter but just as distinctive.

There is just one thing out of the ordinary about these giggly young women - and that becomes startlingly clear with a glance at their old photos.
For six years ago, pictured with cropped hair and the first hint of facial stubble, the 12-year-olds were very obviously BOYS.
Natalie and Cindy want to have a dual sex change.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Fantasy 101

Ok girl and guyfriends, I know the word "fantasy" invokes delicious thoughts!
Sorry, kids I'm going to bring you down a bit and jump back to the "SNL" and "Craig Ferguson" shows.
The "big guys" pick what goes on of course but who wrote the garbage that slammed us?
My fantasy is to sit face to face, eyeball to eyeball with the people that write this slop.
I assume they are in NYC's "ivory tower. I lived there for awhile and the average New Yorker had very little idea of the rest of the nation that existed between the coasts. Maybe all they know is the old "Club Kids" scene or any of the "Drag Queens" in New York.  Maybe they even have met "RuPaul"! Which means they know nothing at all of us as a group. Perhaps they even saw one of the old "Church Lady" skits years ago when SNL was funny.
Maybe they missed the point that the "Church Lady" was poking fun at a particular kind of woman, not a group per se.  We all knew "Dana Carvey" was a man but he was playing a woman. Not a transgendered woman.
The SNL writers totally and completely missed all of this.  Ferguson's drivel was just that...nasty like the rest of his show designed for the substance challenged late night masses.
My other fear is that I would meet a stone cold bitch and all logical conversation would be lost! As a group we would be certainly farther behind!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

"Mo Boo!"

Surely you remember the 5 year old boy who caused such a stir with a Halloween costume.
I remember thinking at the time what a stir the poor kid caused.  Being a five year old, "Boo" and his friends are probably  past the whole issue but of course the adults aren't. Specifically the adults in the church his family belongs to.
The true hero in all of this is Mom and she has a blog you have to read. "Nerdy Apple Bottom"  is the name of this amazing blog.
Her church of course has accused her of "promoting gayness". She is just promoting the right of her son to be who he is! Here is a brief sample."And again I say to you that bullying is not okay, even if you wrap it in a bow and call it "spiritual care."
Most importantly, this woman did not run and hide from all of this. She came out swinging!
Read her blog and see if you agree she embodies much of what we all admire in a woman!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Why?

How could anyone think we make a conscious choice to walk down the transgendered road when it is so difficult to navigate?
Do they really think we could put it down like smoking or drinking?
The recent stats show how many of us live in total poverty.  Worse yet,. the number of us that face violence (and lose) is just scary.
Add on the suicides, loss of family and friends and even discord within our own community and no reality show could ever really scratch the surface.
To coin a term OMG!
Over the years, I've tried to think of some of my worst enemies who I could share my "condition" with and came up with a big fat zero. I've never hated that much!
On the other hand I wouldn't want to share the "euphoria"I felt last night. Yes, I am that selfish and I couldn't even begin to realistically explain it to a "normal" gendered person. Walking through a group of partying people with my long black wavy hair. Shoulders back, favorite outfit, scarf and bling. OMG it was fun!
What can I say, except I'm so lucky not to live in poverty. I am not lucky enough to say I haven't considered offing myself. What's left of my family knows I'm trans and I really get upset over those in our community who believe a total sex change makes you a better person than a crossdresser.
The only certainty I have is uncertainty.  Do I risk health problems at this point in my life to be more of a female. Do I go away and live full time? Do I continue the dual status I live now?
The only answer I have is that I don't know.  Some days it's my own personal gender nightmare. More than likely, one I'll take to my grave.
All these years "they" said I could put all this behind me.  OMG!
(OMG means Oh My God!)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

British TV Girls?

The British are giving the old "Benny Hill" series a run for it's money.
The "Push the Button" stars Ant Mc Parlin and Declan Donnelly  played characters from a fictional family and promoted the second season of the British show.
Ant played the Mom and Dec (below) went all out as the daughter and her best friend too.



Follow this link to see a picture of Dec "before" and more information on this show. : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1351640/Howay-er--lads-Ant-Dec-glam-drag-promote-TV-show.html#ixzz1DF3a2qFb
 
Sooner or later (later) our "transphobic" nation  might feature a television star or two do a realistic makeover!


Saturday, February 5, 2011

DUH!

I just had to pass this bit of reality to you all...we are being discriminated against because we are transgendered?
Really????
Here's the headline:

Groundbreaking Report Reflects Persistent Discrimination Against Transgender Community 

The National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force are receiving significant media coverage for “Injustice at Every Turn: A Report of the National Transgender Discrimination Survey,” released by the two organizations on Friday morning.

Certainly it is great for this earth shattering information to be placed in the public eye. Maybe now the new governor of my home state (Ohio) will reinsert the transgender protection clauses? (He conveniently deleted)

He probably didn't know we were discriminated against until now!

I know I'm just a bit cynical. Hopefully every bit of this attention truly does help our cause!


Trans and the VA

More and more transgendered veteran information is showing up in the media with the recent repeal of "don't ask don't tell." in the military.
Reports are surfacing about the VA providing meaningful care but seemingly has no real policy. Not a surprise that we are falling through another set of cracks.
Along the way, I did find a transgendered vet story that closely follows mine.
The VA actually prescribed hormones to a bi-polar vet and let her work three months in their library to pass the requirements. I have to believe this is a very rare instance.
I too am bi-polar and I take a very good regimen of drugs that keep me as normal as I can be! Every couple months I check in with a "junior shrink". I call her that because she is more qualified to dispense meds than counsel. However, I'm one step away from telling her my condition and seeing the real shrink.
Problems are cropping up however when transgendered veterans actually have legal name changes.  All important records are being disturbed and if you ever have been in the military, you know how disturbed that can make you!
I am reaching a juncture in my life where this is all so important to me.  Do I think anything meaningful will happen soon? No, but that won't stop me from trying to lend what support I can to make it happen!

Regrets?

Several years ago "MSNBC" did a show on a transgendered person who was going the distance to live as her chosen gender until a church entered her life. Here is one of the "after" pictures.
The entire story is at"A Gender Variance..Who's Who? . I remember being fascinated and saddened by Micheal Burke's story but I never knew she went to "Wright State University" which is in my backyard so to speak.
To make a very long story short, Micheal spent nearly 80 grand to become "Michelle". She never completed the SRS and ended up in Florida.  Somewhere along the line in the "Sunshine State" Michelle fell under the spell of a mega church and reverted back to Micheal.



Now Michelle is stuck again as Micheal unable to raise 80 grand to go back.

There really is no "moral" to this story. Looking back , it seemed "MSNBC" took the mega church to task for meddling in a fragile person's life. Seemingly Michelle was a more comfortable, complete person than Michael ever was. Maybe, confidence and courage  were her greatest shortcomings.

Link up with the "Gender Variance" site for more stories such as Michelle's.
'

Friday, February 4, 2011

Really Split Ends!

An ancient story returns once again, "Mona Lisa" was a male. Several sites have reported "Mona" was modeled after a possible Leonardo da Vinci love interest.
The claim came from Silvano Vinceti, chairman of the Italian national committee for cultural heritage. He went on to say  the Florence-born Renaissance artist's male apprentice and possible lover Salai was the main inspiration for the picture.
Nothing new here. We always knew the most intriguing women are guys!
On the flip side, have you heard of the Justin Bieber web site? Well not quite. This site is "Lesbians who look like "The Bieb's"
Here's your challenge "gf's"  A trans male who dresses as a lesbian to look like Justin Bieber. Then again, who would want too?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Saturday Night Dead?

By now, I'm sure you have heard of the fuss concerning a skit "Saturday Night Live" produced called "Estro Maxx". Here's the way it's playing out.
Media watchdog the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)
is calling on members to protest NBC skit comedy show Saturday Night
Live
for airing a “dangerous and blatantly anti-transgender segment.”
In the skit, men dressed as women hail advanced estrogen replacement
therapy
Estro-Maxx for making their modern lives easier.
Dangerous? I'm not so sure. Anti transgender? Certainly in that it makes us look like a bunch of clowns. Isn't that premise SNL has always survived on?
Maybe that's why I'm not outraged. Consider the source?
Today I had a very in depth discussion with a close transgender friend.who could not understand why I was not outraged?
I agreed with her every point. The whole skit was a ridiculous cheap shot at our culture and at us as individuals. All of this would come back to hurt us as a culture.
It would if something like this was on "60 Minutes". The last I noticed SNL was not a platform for social issues. Just one for social satire.
On the other hand "GLAAD" is doing it's job by vigorously protesting "SNL". We need a constant "watch dog".
In the mean time, I'm sure "SNL" has enjoyed the firestorm of publicity.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

In the T-News!

One new story and one old on the show!
The old one is the Thai airline recruiting transgender flight attendants.
The two attendants to the left of the picture are showing their "Id's" telling the world they are transgendered. Supposedly for immigration purposes.The other two were not identified showing once again the blurring of the genders in Thailand! Real or trans?

The second story features transgender model "Lea T".
Not to be undone by "feman" Pejic and his cover picture with "Kate Moss", Love Magazine's second cover of the year features "Lea".
It is worth mentioning "Lea" is transgender and "Pejic" is not . That we know!


Finally, from the old pix archives. I'm posting a "blond" shot from my past.  Don't really know why I've felt the need to do this lately!