Cyrsti's Condo

Every once in a while you see the "D.E.S" subject come to light. If you aren't familiar, several published studies in the medical literature on psycho-neuro-endocrinology have examined the hypothesis that prenatal exposure to estrogens (including Diethylstilbestrol) may cause significant developmental impact on sexual differentiation of the brain, and on subsequent behavioural and gender identity development in exposed males and females. There is significant evidence linking prenatal hormonal influences on gender identity and transsexual development.  From my understanding of the subject, the chances are good my mother was given the drug. Of course I will never know but the whole topic just makes me a little bitter. All of the gender ripping and tearing, all the pain and suffering was all out of my reach. None of it was anyone's fault. It was just a drug dispensed without the knowledge of long term effects. No control. I half way expect to see one of those

For many of us who lived through the 1960's (and remember it) 1968 and 1969 were especially exciting years. All different genres of music were bursting onto the scene and were showcased in the 1969 Woodstock Music Festival in upstate New York. The previous year Martin Luther King Jr.   and Bobby Kennedy were assassinated in 1968. Nothing was for certain except we were stuck in a lose/lose non war in Vietnam which was drafting and killing friends. D.M - R.I.P. In the midst of all of this came the Stonewall Riots in late June of 1969. Of course Stonewall is widely regarded as the beginning of the gay rights movement long before the "T" words were widely recognized. (transgender, transsexual excepting transvestite) Don't hold me to dates and people here, my point is looking back Stonewall was huge for me as a transgendered person. Let's remember even the gay community had nowhere to go easily or even legally before it. As gay venues became more accessible the

For obvious reasons, Thailand earns most all or the transgender - transsexual news coming out of Southeast Asia. This story comes out of Cambodia from the Phnom Phen Post: "She waited patiently at the office of the Women’s Network for Unity because she had a message she wanted to deliver to Cambodia through the media. “Stop discriminating against transgendered people because this discrimination forces us into sex work to survive,” Touch Srey Leak said, explaining that it was impossible for her to get a job in the formal sector. She also said she wanted to “suggest to local authorities and police that they stop raiding and arresting sex workers, because they do this work because they have no choice”. She said this quietly and without anger – as though she believed that if people understood her dilemma they would change their attitude towards her. She also asked whether the interview would be translated into Khmer because this was the audience she wanted to re

I received a quick comment from "Reality Check" on my recent post concerning " Jackie Green ". The comment: "So is she transgendered or transsexual? Which is it? You wanna have both ways?" Truthfully, I have always coveted "having it both ways". Growing up I was always hammered by my parents for wanting money without working for it. As I embarked down my own transition my wife always told me I wanted to be a pretty girl for the benefits and not experience the reality of womanhood-then jump back to my male side. Both were true but not feasible. As far as transgendered versus transsexual goes, I agree they are different even though some definitions say they are not. I also think the word play/semantics debate about the two terms is quite tiring. Having said that, perhaps you regular readers here have seen that I have added both terms more and more when I write. Rather than being more attractive to search engines, for the most part I do try

I know we all feel the pain of any of the transitions we do or are contemplating doing on our transgendered journey. Of course transsexuals feel the most physical and financial pain due to SRS. That means absolutely nothing to the crossdressers who are hiding in the closet. The constant stress of hiding their feelings to family and friends is huge. I will throw transgendered people into the category between the two. No favors there! Often a transgendered person is making life choices concerning hormones or more. Whatever category I have pushed you into, we all have the potential to use our transwoman status for the good. My BFF has told me a number of times I have a unique chance to reinvent myself and she is right. The challenge to the process for me is to take as much of the good from both genders. This of course is no unique idea. The movie " Tootsie " comes to mind as an example of a man who crosses gender lines and becomes enlightened. Now, I don't know if enlig

As my time grows ever closer to severing my ties with the most invasive male portion of my life, I find it harder and harder to stay focused on my job. My job is the only real part of my life I live as a male. It is until the first of the year...I am done. (Yes I do have a way to support myself.) Here's an example from today. I do have a circle of friends who know me in one of three ways-only as a guy, only as a girl or maybe both (rare). On occasion I communicate with them by text message. I'm the first to admit "texting" is not the greatest form of communication and I have been known to text my friends who only know my real self (girl) from my male job. Here's my question. Do I text more as a guy when I'm working as one? Is that possible? I know what you are thinking "Cyrsti has too much time on her hands if she all she has to do is think of this?" Ironically I'm thinking of this while I am working! The point is I do think my remaining male

I started this blog nearly a year and an half ago. I really didn't know much about what a blog even was. I met a friend on " Pink Essence " the transgender social site. We began to exchange experiences and she said "you should start a blog" and here we are. 700 posts later, our blog (you and I) has been a labor of love in many ways. My goal has been to hopefully help others navigate the transgender path I have been down. Along the way transgendered news, information and opinion have made their appearance on the blog. First and foremost I would like to thank all of you again for joining in on this journey which is far from over! I continue to work diligently on a companion book or two as well as possible better ways to publish the blog. Thanks again for reading and caring! You are all the best!!! Cyrsti

I took the first tentative steps towards a very different future today. Among other things, my blood test today included a testosterone level check. I found my therapist is qualified to prescribe hormones and she will check with others with experience in  the area. Next week I will know more!!!!!

A friend of mine and I have been exchanging reminiscences. Strong memories of our initial excitement of life on the gender frontier. Here's just a sample from her. " Back in the day, just as my divorce from my first wife was in progress, I used to go to this club downtown  that had male dancers upstairs in the disco bar on Sunday nights. I, like a lot of guys, would go downstairs to a quieter bar that, once the show upstairs was over was the next stop for a lot of the tipsy/drunk horny ladies of all ages, sizes, colors and in some cases species!! Talk about shooting fish in a barrel!!!!" My memories of shooting or being shot at are as clear as if they happened yesterday. Back in the day, smoking was permitted in the clubs we went to.  Visualize a mix of genders in a dark smoky room with loud throbbing music and light shows. The best part if I never quite new on occasion what gender was interested for what reason. I never really knew if that beautiful woman real

I felt as little evil as I read this story from France. Stephanie Nicot, 59, wed 27-year-old partner Elise in a town hall ceremony in Nancy in eastern France in what is said to be the first marriage of its kind in the country. "Stephanie" transitioned from "Stephane" and has gone through sex reassignment surgery.  She did not get her gender changed on the public records which allowed her to marry another woman as a man. All of that is wonderful but I immediately thought of the age difference and the "smirk" on her face." Take that all you ex friends and wives! I went through a lot to marry a much younger woman!" Sorry...just had to go there.

Maybe I did...kind of...lol! From " Creative Loafing Atlanta "  Comes a question about picking up a transgendered person. After a couple stupid stereotypes, words and jokes, the "Sexorist" finally delivered some sound advice: "First, look your best. You're dealing with somebody who takes extraordinary measures to look like an appealing woman. She is going to expect her men to have some pride in their appearance. Next, be sure of what you want. If she senses that all you want is a piece of strange with a capital S, she'll most likely send you packing. She's not interested in being somebody's experiment. You're probably not a little bit nervous meeting her, and you need to get a grip on it. Most likely the nervousness is from those questions banging in your head. As in, "Why am I attracted to T-girls and what does that say about me?" That you're gay? Extremely doubtful. Most guys into T-girls are straight. That you&#

This is " Dana International " from Israel. This is "Harisu" a famous transsexual entertainer in Korea. This me being jealous!!!!!lol

 The final four contestants for the Miss Thailand  Beauty Pageant show us once again the most beautiful women in Thailand weren't born that way.! You may have seen this already. I actually posted this Wednesday but problems with "Blogger" deleted it! Cyrsti

As narcissistic and selfish as it may sound, I have fallen in love with that woman in the mirror who is me. As with most quick relationships, love turned to lust and then to reality. As reality set in and my sorority membership started to become validated, my image became more complex. As the same people saw me in the same situation multiple times, I was restricted in how I could change hair colors for example. I have said it myself. Change is so much a part of a woman's looks. She can cut, dye and extend her hair. I found  I could do the same...by accident. I've told the story of my two dark hairstyles which are the same length. One is wavy and the other is very straight. Without hesitation I learned to tell inquisitive women my hair was naturally wavy which I didn't like and I have it straightened. Knowing full well most women never like their hair the way it is. My many trips to wig stores over the years even provided me with yet another alternative. I have a short v

From " GaySocialLifes.Com ". A transsexual mayor? "She is real, outspoken and ready to shake things up. She is a party girl, a girl of fashion, a nightlife personality and a prominent member of the NYC scene. She is a true Gay Socialite , ‘fierceness personified’. She is a transsexual who loves the city she has called her own for two decades. Her name: Tiana Reeves. She is real, outspoken and ready to shake things up. She is a party girl, a girl of fashion, a nightlife personality and a prominent member of the NYC scene. . She is a transsexual who loves the city she has called her own for two decades."  I really don't know her politics. Just running for mayor in the publicity capital of the world would have to be good for our cause!

From the " The Telegraph " in the UK. An English priest who was photographed in hooker drag at a charity event has resigned from his congregation following what his sister refers to as a “witch hunt.” Upon arriving at the “tarts and vicars” event near his church in Tyneside, England , wearing shiny gold tights, a black dress, and pink high heels, the Reverend Martin Wray says he was received warmly. But after a photo of him in the get-up was published in a local newspaper, parishioners filed complaints about how Rev. Wray was representing the church. I don't know. Could it have been the pink heels?

When you wake up, Before you get your coffee. You make your way to the bathroom and the mirror. I'm fond of telling others, it's at this point if something on my body doesn't hurt...then I'm dead. Recently I ran across another description of my life.  "Gender Fluid" is the descriptor and it really works for me on some mornings. Those are the mornings when I start the day as a man and end as a woman. The situation is definately not where I want to be right now. On the other hand, my gender status is similar to my joint's  aches and pains.  If I didn't have it...I could be dead!

This article comes from the "South Florida Gay News" "The fifth annual Tribeca/ESPN Sports Film Festival will include the world premiere of Renée, a documentary exploring the story of Renée Richards, the first transgender tennis player to compete in the women’s US Open. Directed by Eric Drath, Renée is full of rare archival footage and interviews with close friends and family members -- as well as tennis legends Martina Navratilova, John McEnroe and Billie Jean King – and explores the surprising and affecting human story behind one of America’s first transgender people in the public eye." Living in the fast moving world as we do, I believe it is important  to remember our "transgendered pioneers." Dr. Richards was certainly one of them. If you haven't read her first book, it's a great read about her journey...and inexpensive!

Every now and then I like to pull up a post from the dusty old archives.  Since the time it was posted, the blog has gained many more followers and daily visits Thank You!!! It was titled "Can I Ever Go Home Again?" If I can quote "Bob Seger's Hollywood Nights" tune-"he knew right then he was too far from home. He was too far from home." Then relate it to losing your male identity, I would. Wait! I just did! The reason I did quote the song (basically about a beautiful California blond and a Midwestern boy lost in her charms) is that I remember defining moments when I didn't want to go back home to my male self. I know many of you girls have always known you were just that-a girl. Many of us however, did not have that luxury. I went through the first 30 years or so of my life fighting and giving in to my female urges. I knew I could never go home happened to me when this Midwestern boy moved to the NYC area. Within two months, I en

I'm always on the prowl for an interesting person. The true individual who sets themselves out from the group.  I've mentioned the datng sites I'm on and the connects I run into on Yahoo where I have my main email. Recently I sent this disclaimer: Hi ----, Tonight is party nite for me. It's my day to do errands, have some fun shopping and go out. So chatting tonight will be very difficult it would have to be late in the evening! I can't guarantee the condition I will be in! lol Hey,I'm sorry about your loneliness, no fun...I know! Chatting with someone new is always such an experience. I've learned it usually takes this road. The guy doesn't understand my profile...sometimes I don't either and that's fine. I'm extremely rare in that area. We have nothing in common or he won't open up to any of his interests. Why bother? He is married. He leaves chats in a hurry when wife comes into room and makes up an excuse. He is afraid to