It's Nice to be Wanted

I missed posting yesterday in the Cyrsti's Condo blog because I was traveling north to my oldest grandson's birthday party.

It usually is a positive experience as most all the parties are held at my daughter's in laws in Dayton,Ohio. where I am fortunate to be accepted for who I have become.

I was lucky yesterday when my daughter texted me and reminded me of the address again where I was going. I for some reason had forgotten and thought the party was next weekend. I barely had enough time to get ready, stop for gas, pick up a card and go to the bank machine to withdraw a cash gift for my grandson.

The problem was, the place I was going was an hour away. Somehow I was able to do a fairly respectful job on makeup and hurriedly put together an outfit of leggings, sweater and boots.

One of these days I am trying to remind myself to thank the whole family for accepting me. They seem to take it for granted but it means so much to me.

"Book Em" Cyrsti

I have finally decided to start on my second book.My first E-published book is now out of "print" so it is time to attempt a bigger better one.

Of course the Cyrsti's Condo blog is always a good place to start, since over the years I have accumulated over 5500 posts. Plus I have chapters I already attempted for book number two. So, my problem becomes having all these loosely connected thoughts floating around. I even have about ten ideas I have been collecting on my phone in a memo app I have.

What's a girl to do? This time I am using a loose leaf notebook to compile my ideas. For example, my initial chapter will include a glossary of terms plus a short bio. It amazes me how many more terms I have had to add since the first book was started nearly seven years ago.

Initially, as I move along I am planning to insert new ideas into the binder under headings I think they belong under. Another example would be the chapter I am building under the pain of being mis-gendered and rest room usage. Both carry bad consequences. As I write more about them, now I can insert the extra content into the proper place in the binder and edit it all when I get ready to finish.

The average book (according to Google) contains between 60,000 and 100,000 words depending on the genre. I'm writing a non fiction book so I have found most sources say the same thing.  lo short,  I am aiming to write at least 75,000 words.

You may ask what will make my book different? For one I am steering clear of supposedly scholarly ideas on the subject of being transgender. Zeroing instead on the life aspects of our culture. In other words, what I try to go in the blog.

There are several self publishing companies I am in contact with, plus I am fortunate in that my partner Liz is a book editor of sorts. Having her edit my book would save at least nine hundred dollars.

My problems are staying organized and finishing the project. This time I want a paper copy of my book which I know will cost quite a bit. So along the way, I have to save up the money to do it too.

I will keep you all posted.

More Explanation from a Smarter Person!

The EEO transgendered inclusive policy decision has been publicized and kicked around now for the last week or so.
Here is another view from "Sherri Lynn" and she takes it a step further:

" This (ruling) is the first major milestone in affording us equal rights and could be what is needed to compel Congress to pass ENDA. It is important to understand that it was the Democrat party that obstructed the passage of ENDA. It was passed in committee, and sent for final markup. The Democrat chair of the committee, did not move the bill forward and it expired in his possession. Not that I believe it would have moved forward under Republican leadership either. We simply must be aware that one's political allegiance is no guarantee of advancing our rights, though it is the Democrat party that has helped us the most. Still we do have allies in the Republican camp and it does not serve us well to blindly endorse one party or the other. We need to learn about each member of the House and the Senate and determine who will help us advance our quest for civil rights"
Read more here


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250 Large

Two Hundred Fifty Thousand hits and growing here on "Cyrsti's Condo"!
You all are the BEST!
Thanks
Cyrsti

Have You Seen Her?

I'm fortunate to have restablished a tie with a person I met years ago in my formative cross dressing years.
As I look back on the experiences with him and the others in the small group of individuals we used to "hang out" with "back in the day", it is truly amazing the diversity in the small numbers.
I would say this little social group numbered at the most 8 or ten people. Included were two who went on to complete the change, so we numbered a couple true transsexuals.  Another two or three would probably be called transgender today. Of course there were a couple cross dressers, a couple spouses and even an admirer thrown in.
Looking back the 30 plus years or so and I compare the learning experience with going to a diverse public school instead of a private school with all the same kids.
At any rate, as I have started to share some of my recent experiences with him, his most basic comment is Wow, what happened to the person I (him) used to know?
Of course I don't hold the comment against him, but that person so many years ago is gone. Our paths went separate directions and he stayed firmly in the closet (his choice-it's all good) and of course you see where I have ended up. (No cheap shots!)
He now is wondering (and asked) when I am embarking down the final path to SRS.
Well, I'm not I told him. I explained I am very comfortable where I am in life right now and more importantly the people I love and love me are comfortable with me too.
I guess that very thought pattern was foreign to him and maybe more sustainable in  today's society than in the past?
With all the information available these days, it's almost as if we are going through a knowledge bonanza that us (older) trans folks haven't seen since the internet started to boom.
All of the sudden I'm finding others like me and life choices I didn't know existed. Sort of like when I was so alone as a youth thinking I was the only one in the world who thought about gender like I did.
It has been a special experience contacting with him though! The whole process has given me yet another chance to step back in time and evaluate where I have come from. In the end, it's the best way to predict the future!

This is Too Damn Simple?

"There's no difference Honey (Cyrsti) between cross dresser, transgender, or transsexual for that matter. They are just the same people on different planes of development. Just like not everybody graduates from first grade, not everybody graduates into accepting themselves fully as what they are. The fetish thing isn't a fetish, at all. It's just the first step for most of us - the first thing we accept about ourselves. With time many move past that as they start accepting the other things. And some don't. It's really that simple. Only the people that don't want to admit that we're all apples from the same try try to make it more complicated."
A comment by Jamiegottagun on When is There a "T" in Crossdresser?

Come on Jamie, lets be real careful about making all this simple!!!!  Nice Job.

Trans Discovery

During my endless surfing in the transgender galaxy I come across people and places which stand out.
I compare the feeling with having access to the "Hubble" Telescope and discovering a new planet or star.
For every transsexual, transgender or crossdressing story I discover there are probably hundreds of others still waiting to be discovered.
Here is my latest which is actually a rediscovery of Annika.

Before and After!

From what she wrote, she doesn't update the blog much but it's a site with really nice videos and pix of her life.
Check it out here.

A Long Trans Woman's Shopping List

This post is from a couple of known resources, "Autumn Sandeen" and "Pam's House Blend".
 It's a very long list called a "A Shopping List of Trans Woman's Shame"
As I read it I saw one, then two then many items I wanted to pass along.
I soon realized I shouldn't highlight my own agenda's (again) and let you decide.
Read it here.

Are We There Yet?

I have never had the luxury of feeling comfortable in either gender.
Can't totally claim womanhood anatomically but feel comfortable in all the female community. Communication, friendship and all.
Never could claim manhood. Existed in it, was sometimes successful with it but never felt secure in it.
Never did I wake up thinking I was only a boy but never thinking I was only a girl...never.
As with many of my posts here, I'm only writing this from an informational view point. Maybe you have been or are in the same place. Ironically, a place that leads to scorn from within our own community.
What began my introspection into who I am and where I am going as a transgender human came from a thesis project I am contributing to.
Here are a couple excerpts from my response to a gender stereotype question:

"I believe humans are desperate for something basic to cling to and gender is the most basic one. That's all good when there are only two recognized genders. What about a third? I have no recollection of having the luxury of thinking I was one gender.

Many of the ancient Native American tribes believed in dual gender spirits in humans and somewhere along the line (major religions) many of the beliefs were lost.

I don't really identify with the gay community (not a drag queen) or either primary gender.  I do my absolute best to use my look to shout female but know that until I can birth a child (never) or have monthly periods but I can only really say I am a feminized male who (I think) feels female. Who really knows? If you were born either gender and never questioned it-you know. The rest of us? The best case is we can pick and chose the best of both worlds. The worst case is more prevalent. Confusion, depression and lack of understanding.

Two things are sure...I can only know what makes me feel natural  and that is coming as close as I can to doing stereotypical girl things.  One of my biggest learning experience was adjusting to the dynamics of feminine communication and power structures...all so much more complex than male ones.

All of this is just a huge feast for thought and no, we are not there yet.

Fair and Un Biased?

Recently we have seen various documentaries centered around certain transgender youth. The obvious question is are these a positive or negative for our community?
Recently "In the Life" took a look at transgender and non conforming gender children.
Take a look:
On the plus side is "Janet Mock" transsexual female. On the negative side (of course) is Fox news using the word demonic... really?

Weekly "Horror Scope"

Well here it is friends! From the Frisky.
Libra (September 23- October 22)
If you want to listen to sad songs and feel the romance of tragedy, go for it. After all, we all need to hit a bit of rock bottom to propel back into full working order. So, go ahead, play the baby, and throw yourself a glorious pity party, because by the time you’re done, you’ll probably want to turn up the music and dance!

Maybe it is referring to my new hormone induced emotional changes? Turn up that damn music!!!!!

Blog-A-Rama!

Every once in a while life seems to move at "warped" speed (my term-not Spock on Star Trek)
First of all, let's get the fun "stuff" out of the way!
Yesterday I was featured on "Jessica Who's" site! Jessica has one of the most entertaining and informative sites on the web (and she is gorgeous!). I'm flattered to have been a part!
I'm always also flattered to have "Sherri Lynn" read and comment on my prisoner care blog post. Her comment seems to mirror most of the feedback I have received that hormonal treatment should be as far as prisons should go!
While I'm mentioning Sherri check out her latest blog post on driver license gender markers in Virginia here.
It's a very positive move which I hope my home state of Ohio follows since my license comes up for renewal this year!
Looking ahead a bit, the month of May looks as if I will have the chance to participate in a couple of study programs seeking information about the transgender, transsexual culture and all the many layers in between.
I always welcome the opportunity to pass along any of my experiences in the world if it can help anyone to understand where we come from.
Let's see, this post puts me over the 1000 mark here on "Cyrsti's Condo"! Wow! Who would have "thunk" it!
None of it would have been possible without all of YOU! -Trans women, trans-men, cross dressers, transvestites and all!
Thanks! Can't wait for the next 1000 if the force is with me!!!!!!!

Kind of Says It All?

Thanks Bobbie!!!

Quote of the Day

"Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find everything."
Spoken by Burt Reynolds in "Deliverance" the movie. 1972

Transgender Twin at 14

"Nicole at Glad dinner in Boston 2011"

Do you remember the remarkable story of Wyatt Maines? At four years old, Wyatt Maines asked his mother when he would get to be a girl. Born into a pair of male twins, Maines knew he was living in the wrong body. By the time the twins reached elementary school, Maines told people he was a “girl-boy.” As years progressed, Maines began going by the name Nicole, and living life as a girl. At age 11, Nicole underwent puberty suppression (which blocks male hormones and puberty changes from occurring).
She now is 14 and Nicole family are activists for transgender rights. After a student complained about Nicole using the women’s bathroom, the family took a stand by filing a Maine Human Rights Commission complaint. They also successfully lobbied to defeat a bill introduced in Maine legislature that would have repealed protections for transgender people in public restrooms.
You can read more of the story here. Another wonderful point to make is I found this article in "TeenVoices *Changing the World for Girls through Media". Exactly the exposure our culture needs!!!

Let's Be Careful Out There!

No matter how some of the public news is becoming a little more positive about the transgendered community, hate crime is still a HUGE problem for us as evidenced in this video from San Francisco:
Maybe that little container of pepper spray I've been thinking of adding to my purse isn't such a bad idea!

Transgender Life in My Little World

As I approach 4 full months on hormones, the major changes I seem to be feeling now are internal with moods and hot flashes.
As I have passed along before, I have cried more in the past month than in my last 50 some years of life.Now, I don't want to portray these tears as a major sign of depression. They were more of a reflection of life and memories I was having.
I suppose you could call this a "liberation" of sorts or ideally I should have been this way my entire life and not let "male conditioning" get in my way.
It doesn't matter. I just know it is happening. Very simply, a couple genetic women I talk to have said "welcome to their world".
So, as I sit here file my nails and think about this post - I guess I am getting what I asked for and yes it does feel natural and good. I was seeking a slow and steady feminization of my body without any major surgery and it's happening.  A whole summer of new fun is almost upon me with more hair on my head and less on my body.
The only frustration I have are those who want to take me to task for how I got here, where I am going and what label I attach to the process.
For the rest of you on (and off) this blog-thanks sooooo much for being along!

Oh No They Didn't!

Not long ago Mia Macy, an Army veteran and former police detective, initially applied for the position as a man and was told that she was qualified for the job as a ballistics technician. Then she informed the contractor that she was changing her gender. After that, she was told funding for the job was cut. She later learned someone else was hired for the position.
Macy filed a complaint with the ATF, which told her that federal job discrimination laws did not apply to transgender people. The Transgender Law Center, a legal rights advocacy group in San Francisco, took up her case.

Mia Macy (left) with her wife Trish

As you have been possibly reading, her case was brought up to the EEOC and resulted in a landmark ruling that in part said:  the unanimous ruling from the five-member agency does not create a new cause of action. It clarifies that charges of gender stereotyping are considered claims of sex discrimination under existing law.
Until now, Pizer said, it was common for transgender workers to have their complaints rejected by EEOC regional offices and state civil rights agencies due to confusion about the state of the law.
“This is a confirmation that the courts are correct, so public and private employers coast to coast now have the benefit of the EEOC making this clear,”according to EEOC spokeswoman Justine Lisser.
In case you haven't seen her, I'm putting a brave face to the story!

Branching Out!

Well, it's Spring around here (more or less) and as the plants and trees start to grow I am growing just a bit too! (Not the hormones this time!)
I'm starting a column on"Brianna Austin's  TG Life.com."
I will have more for you later!

What Will They Think of Next???

It's heresy! The next thing you know people will be thinking of letting transgendered people vote!
Read this from Singapore (More reaction to Jennifer Talackova's acceptance in Miss Universe)

Engineer Leslie Wong, 29, said the rule change was unlikely to alienate fans of the competition. “If you're in a beauty pageant, you probably look like a beautiful woman,” he said. “I'm not sure I would even be able to tell who is transgendered.”
That's all good but here is the radical part:
Trans student Marla Bendini, 26, said transgender contestants could lead to a more positive representation of the community in society. Bendini said society should also make room for pre-operative transsexuals, but the rule change was a good first step. “It's a beauty pageant, not a glorification of genitals,” she said.

For just a second the floor under my feet was getting colder and I thought hell was freezing over!