Being Transgender and Religious

Admittedly I'm more spiritual than religious but I watch with interest of course those transsexual and transgender  folks that are.
Of course I could go on a righteous rant about those who use what organized religion they chose to fabricate reasons to beat us down. When I see us get rejected and trashed from the pulpit (or wherever) it just reinforces my thoughts of hypocrisy concerning most organized religions.
I just have never believed a higher being really cares how I feel about my gender. I do believe the higher force does believe how I treat the world is important!
So, when I see transgender or transsexual people stepping up to protest and attempt to affect change in their religions- I have more than a passing amount of respect!
Here's a story featured on the "Institute of Religion and Democracy" site about two of those people!
Read more here.
While I'm editorializing, I do fear a right wing religious backlash on our hard earned gains!

United Methodist Layperson Giselle Lawn and Pastor David Weekley spoke Wednesday about their experience as transsexual persons. (Photo credit: Institute on Religion and Democracy)

 

 

Huh?

"This creation of an illness is not a trans centric concept.  It
postulates, fundamentally, a variance that is undesired in the greater
population, and, in this case, this variance is considered harmful in
and of itself. In my seeking to work and promote a trans centric
understanding of things, this fell under my sights that long ago time
and I did my usual thing of sitting on a rock like stool and assuming
a famous pose of an elbow on a leg, head resting on a fist, and
peering forward into the vagaries of that which lies behind my eyes.

In other words, I sat and thought about it.  Thunk on it, in the vernacular."

Afterwords, I sat and thought about it and thunk on it and said Huh?
Just to prove I didn't make this up...go here.
All this time I was kicking myself for not making it through the sixth grade without new crayons.

Are We There Yet?

I have never had the luxury of feeling comfortable in either gender.
Can't totally claim womanhood anatomically but feel comfortable in all the female community. Communication, friendship and all.
Never could claim manhood. Existed in it, was sometimes successful with it but never felt secure in it.
Never did I wake up thinking I was only a boy but never thinking I was only a girl...never.
As with many of my posts here, I'm only writing this from an informational view point. Maybe you have been or are in the same place. Ironically, a place that leads to scorn from within our own community.
What began my introspection into who I am and where I am going as a transgender human came from a thesis project I am contributing to.
Here are a couple excerpts from my response to a gender stereotype question:

"I believe humans are desperate for something basic to cling to and gender is the most basic one. That's all good when there are only two recognized genders. What about a third? I have no recollection of having the luxury of thinking I was one gender.

Many of the ancient Native American tribes believed in dual gender spirits in humans and somewhere along the line (major religions) many of the beliefs were lost.

I don't really identify with the gay community (not a drag queen) or either primary gender.  I do my absolute best to use my look to shout female but know that until I can birth a child (never) or have monthly periods but I can only really say I am a feminized male who (I think) feels female. Who really knows? If you were born either gender and never questioned it-you know. The rest of us? The best case is we can pick and chose the best of both worlds. The worst case is more prevalent. Confusion, depression and lack of understanding.

Two things are sure...I can only know what makes me feel natural  and that is coming as close as I can to doing stereotypical girl things.  One of my biggest learning experience was adjusting to the dynamics of feminine communication and power structures...all so much more complex than male ones.

All of this is just a huge feast for thought and no, we are not there yet.

Fair and Un Biased?

Recently we have seen various documentaries centered around certain transgender youth. The obvious question is are these a positive or negative for our community?
Recently "In the Life" took a look at transgender and non conforming gender children.
Take a look:
On the plus side is "Janet Mock" transsexual female. On the negative side (of course) is Fox news using the word demonic... really?

Oh No They Didn't!

Not long ago Mia Macy, an Army veteran and former police detective, initially applied for the position as a man and was told that she was qualified for the job as a ballistics technician. Then she informed the contractor that she was changing her gender. After that, she was told funding for the job was cut. She later learned someone else was hired for the position.
Macy filed a complaint with the ATF, which told her that federal job discrimination laws did not apply to transgender people. The Transgender Law Center, a legal rights advocacy group in San Francisco, took up her case.

Mia Macy (left) with her wife Trish

As you have been possibly reading, her case was brought up to the EEOC and resulted in a landmark ruling that in part said:  the unanimous ruling from the five-member agency does not create a new cause of action. It clarifies that charges of gender stereotyping are considered claims of sex discrimination under existing law.
Until now, Pizer said, it was common for transgender workers to have their complaints rejected by EEOC regional offices and state civil rights agencies due to confusion about the state of the law.
“This is a confirmation that the courts are correct, so public and private employers coast to coast now have the benefit of the EEOC making this clear,”according to EEOC spokeswoman Justine Lisser.
In case you haven't seen her, I'm putting a brave face to the story!

Just a Question

Far be it for me to be negative but it has been a long day and I am a little tired-So!
It occurred to me the first people to turn on Jenna Talackova will come from our own community.
To quote Jimmy Buffet "Fins to the left, Fins to the right (sharks) and she's the only game in town!

New Post From Sherri Lynn!

I can not say how much I anticipate a new post from this woman!
To start with, she is a transgendered woman and a psychotherapist in Virginia too. I don't believe there are many transgender or transsexual women or men who have not sought or went through counseling. Imagine the benefit of having someone with Sherri Lynn's experience.
We have the second best thing, access to her posts.  Here is part of her latest:

"I'm beginning to get a sense of the new normal. What has been changed is irrevocable. Something has been lost and much has been gained. It's still all such a shock how this came about that I feel stressed, tired and have really not quite integrated the whole experience of my parent's accidental discovery, though I could not have expected a better outcome.

Partly this has to do also with ongoing work stresses that are mounting as the drive for Obama Care pushes the system of medical economics towards its intended collapse so that the new order of health care can be established. (Please note this is not a political rant, just the experience of a front line health care provider. No political responses please). We are being told to see more patients because reimbursement from the government is being cut and that translates into the need to see more patients to keep operating.

 It slows my bouncing back from the highly emotionally charged experience of coming out to my parents in an unintended manner as the numbers of patients I am expected to see increases dramatically. This week I saw 46 patients in a 40 hour week. I owe this miracle of services rendered to my wonderful relapse prevention group that I look forward to running each week. There is no time for a break in a schedule such as this.
,
Self care is the most important way to get back into balance. When one is under stress, good sleep hygiene is important, even crucial. If you can't get your sleep right, nothing else will follow. There are a lot of things one can do besides taking medications; one can listen to soothing music, practice meditation and progressive relaxation techniques. It is helpful to turn off the TV, not read, stay away from video games or anything that is stimulating for at least a half hour before bedtime."


For more, go here!
We d 

"Two Spirit Ranch"

I have my copy of the new trans-romance novel "Two Spirit Ranch" by Jaime Stryker.
The difference with Jamie's novel is it's aimed at a mainstream audience.
In my past I have read "transgender fiction". Most of what I have seen or read is aimed more at a erotic/sexual reader-not a romantic one.
I am going to take advantage of our snowy weather coming up this week and get romantic with the book!
In the meantime you can follow the link above to the "Amazon" site above or take a look below.

"

Book Description

Publication Date: January 18, 2012

In this groundbreaking romance novel, Terri Lawson, an alluring young attorney, has it all. She’s on the fast-track at her firm, widely recognized for her pro bono work, and has a handsome suitor, who she’s sure has marriage on his mind. But when her boyfriend abruptly calls off their relationship and her favorite uncle passes away, she suddenly find herself losing all that was important to her. Not sure where to turn next, Terri heads off for a trip to small town Clearview, Montana to explore the sprawling ranch her uncle left her. It’s there that Terri while speeding down the highway has a run in with the ruggedly handsome sheriff, Jake Collins. As the two find their mutual attraction too strong to deny, Terri, who had only planned to be in town a few days, finds herself wondering if she can risk opening her heart again and sharing a secret from her past with Jake. ..Terri was once Terrence. Debut novelist Jaime Stryker presents not only a romance with a transgendered heroine but a tale of true love and acceptance.

 

Check it out!!!!!!

Equal Time

Lost in the comment section of one of my recent blog posts on "Chloe Prince" is this response from Brandi.

1. 
   BrandiFeb 9, 2012 06:48 PM

   "Ironically, a severe reaction to a bee sting triggered a drop in levels of the male hormone, testosterone."
   
   And if you believe that, I can sell you one of those bees for only $19.95.
   
   And if you act now, I will throw in a second bee at no additional cost!
   
   As someone who not only knows Chloe personally, but was there on her first "night out," way before the bees, and all the other horse do-do she's been peddling, I can tell you that her entire story is nothing but slickly created nonsense.
   
   Did she plug the "reality show" she is trying to get made of her life on there too?
   
   She is absolutely one of the most untrustworthy, and self-serving people you will ever meet.

2.  (My response)
   
   
   CyrstiFeb 11, 2012 09:33 PM

   Brandi!
   Thanks for the insight-it "smoked" my awaiting moderation box.
   I always believe in "equal time" and different info.
   
   I obviously don't know her ( Chloe ) personally but obviously that first night out made some sort of impact!

   
   In the age of ever increasing political ads on television-equal time is important. 

What is a Freak?

First let's find an "Official" definition:
freak ¹  (frk)

n.

1. A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular: A freak of nature produced the midsummer snow.

2. An abnormally formed organism, especially a person or animal regarded as a curiosity or monstrosity.

3. A sudden capricious turn of mind; a whim: "The freaks of the psyche can no more be explained than the Devil" (Maurice Collis).

4. Slang

a. A drug user or addict: a speed freak.

b. An eccentric or nonconformist person, especially a member of a counterculture.

c. An enthusiast: rock music freaks.

You all probably know where I'm going with all of this. For some reason lately I've been on a tangent with "F" words. Check my recent blog post!
I guess I was looking for some good in the definition of "freak". Being a child of the 60's, freak of course was not entirely a bad term.
Looking at the definition above from "The Free Dictionary" the slang "b" definition certainly refers to the 60's lifestyle.
The number two definition brings me to a couple other "F" words. These two are fear and faith.
Being viewed as a "curiosity" will be overcome by education from the transgendered world.
Being viewed as a "monstrosity" is completely ugly and brings back one story in particular. The Tennessee legislator who wants to "stomp a mud hole" in any trans woman or trans man who seemingly threatens him.
His story evokes fear in me and probably some of you too on some level.
The fear however is a powerful motivator for me. 
"Fear" leads me to my final "F" word-"fire".
Fear fires me up to have faith in myself. In my own small way, I'm trying to add my own definition  to the dictionary: 
When you call me a freak, I do operate in a gender flux situation which could in turn confuse or educate you.
Just don't be the monstrosity when you find out who I am. My faith will overcome your fear.

Rocking the "F" Word!

What's worse, being called the "T' word (Tranny) or the "F" word (Faggot)?
I just wondered because not to long ago I think I heard someone call me that behind my back.
Actually the "F" word is a real warning sign for me.
Tranny is a word of ignorance to me unless some one in the transgendered community uses it. The public has not yet been conditioned yet to "gender" slur words.
The "F" word is a hate term to me. It is no different than using the "N" word with Black Americans.
The word also is a violent word to me. When I hear it directed at me or others, I'm automatically on guard and watching my back.
I equate the process with all the transgender violence we read about.
The only fortunate part of this process is that I haven't seen or heard it much in my life.
The sad part is I could be an exception.

Reinvention

You can teach an old dog new tricks!
Over the past month or so I have written concerning the physical part of my transgendered journey and tossed the social aspects into the background.
Interestingly, I am teaching myself new "trans" tricks.
As sure as I was of my "socialization" as a woman over the past couple of years or so, I found a whole new world again.
My latest "new trick" is to have a very definite confidence of who I am. What you see is what you get.
If you think I'm a "vision" of lovlieness I'm flattered. If you don't? Who cares?
I know I'm absolutely sure I do the best I can on presenting myself as a woman- who cares about her appearance. That knowledge alone is giving  me a certain level of confidence. Now the knowledge of future  hormonal changes will help me along even more.
For the longest time, I was happy of who I am. Now I'm becoming transgendered proud!

Transsexual Candidate in Mexico

Saturday was a historic day in Mexico when Diana Barrios Sánchez  (above)  was registered as a candidate for deputy of the Federal District Legislative Assembly. Sanchez is the first transsexual woman to register for that office!

Swimming With the Transgender Current!

Much of the time, I have referred to my journey into trans womanhood as a "path". Not fitting neatly into the crossdresser or transsexual mode has  provided a unique perceptive look at the world.
Maybe the path wasn't concrete at all. Maybe I can compare it to a river.  I threw my transgendered self into the current -to sink or swim.
Every once in a while a bit of news comes along which makes me think I'm not headed towards "Niagara Falls" in a barrel.
From "The San Fransisco Chronicle" comes the story of perhaps the first transgendered mainstream romance novel:

Chances at Romance announces the publication of perhaps the first mainstream romance novel with a transgendered heroine. "Two Spirit Ranch" explores when love is challenged by a rugged sheriff's preconceived notion about gender and the heroine's fear of not being loved for the woman she is.
After a year of unprecedented publicity regarding transgender issues in the entertainment and political worlds, the book, written by Jaime Stryker, hopes to give an unconventional twist to a conventional tale. Stryker, who is a longtime fan of the genre, says, "Popular art reflects culture, and the past year brought transgender issues to the forefront. It was simply time for a romance novel that also touched upon gender issues."
The title delves into the fact that some Native American tribe members could assume the identity of the opposite gender and still be accepted and respected by their community. "Many of the native peoples believed a spectrum of gender identities was part of nature's diversity." Stryker goes on to say, "When European colonization started to dominate the region rigid gender roles became the norm."

Here is information on the book if you are interested:
Two Spirit Ranch: A Romance
Author: Jaime Stryker
ISBN: 978-0615593302
Retail: Available from most online book retailers, including Amazon, e-bookstores, or on order from your local bookstore.
Wholesale: CreateSpace Direct


Maybe I won't have to be such a good swimmer after all!
On another level, a novel such as this touches on relationships with men and transwomen we have discussed more than a couple times.(Damn Transvestite Home Wreckers!) 
around the condo.

Vote For Pejic!

Such a shame I have politics on the brain already.  The Republic primaries and the very beginning of the ton of anti-Obama ads we will see heading to the presidential election have gotten my attention.
The campaign I'm writing about is yet another modeling coup for Andrej Pejic. The video I'm passing along is mainly in French (I so am bad at French) but I can tell you Pejic is supposedly ready to sign a major mainstream perfume contract. Wouldn't it be fun to see him on mainstream television ads? Would some of the girl scouts and the legislator in Tennessee boycott their product?
Sorry, I had to go there. Here is the video:

No Pain - No Gain?

It's life's lessons-good and bad that bring us to the point we are today.  No big surprise I know.
Sometimes when I think I have this transgendered journey down to perfection and I can exist in society as my chosen gender I get a slap in the face.
An example came one day when I was out by myself in an antique mall.  I always find the experience relaxing and fun. This time I was coming off of a solid week of positive public feedback on my female presentation.
Maybe I was getting careless or sloppy but I got totally busted by three guys who happened to be standing around at the door.
Now I know situations such as that with men lead to intense scrutiny of any woman.
What infuriates me is that I still get tense in those situations and we all know any blood in the water will bring out the sharks.
At any rate the moment came and went  I'm sure the three guys went home with the story of the big stunning blond they saw at the antique mall-but not so much.
The reassuring point of all of this now is I don't feel the need to go back to the drawing board for some sort of major overhaul.
My basics are sound and the fact remains I'm never going to present female to 100% of the public all of the time. (Unless I went under the knife for facial feminizing surgery.)
I know as the hormones I'm on reshape my body and as my hair grows to the point I can wear it in public; all of that will make a huge difference.
Regardless though, experiencing painful lessons and learning from them is still in my immediate  future!
Confidence and attitude keep the sharks out of the water.

You Have Now Entered the "Transition" Zone

Perhaps some  of you "more mature" readers remember "The Twilight Zone" television series.
As a youth, the  mixture of self-contained drama, psychological thriller, fantasy, science fiction, suspense, or horror, often concluding with a macabre or unexpected twist at times kept me up past bed time with the lights on.
The "Transition Zone" often has provided some of the same effects on me. I have spent sleepless nights, although not so many with the lights left on.
Drama/Suspense? Well certainly more than I would like but not as much as some would imagine. Suspense? More than I would like on occasion. How do I or how will I present as female is fading. The suspense goes with it.
Horror? Outside of the last verbal attack I sustained in the restroom not so long ago-not much thank God!
Fantasy? I'm living it! I've said many times I can not believe how fulfilling my life is becoming.
Macabre? NO!!!!!!
Psychological thriller? Depends who you talk to. I feel very normal as a transgender woman. Some would consider that alone as a psychological problem. I don't and that's all that matters.
Unexpected twists? Many of them! Anyone who thinks changing gender directions isn't a complex learning process just hasn't lived as a transgendered person. Every time I think I'm ahead of the curve and have an idea of the whole process, along comes an unexpected twist!

Science Fiction? Well, I have always been fond of a few of the short crew women's uniforms on the "Enterprise".  I know what you are thinking, doesn't that go under "fantasy"? I will never tell!!!!
I don't have much more to add from my "Transition Zone".
Now, where's my cable tv show? 

Where's My Chocolate Mocha Ice Cream?

I have find myself entranced again by the women in chick flix  Months ago I caught myself following intently the interaction between women and men in a certain movie I was watching-totally from a female perspective.
Now, all of a sudden again I'm watching and learning more on a whole different level.
By the luck of the draw recently, several movies came along showing  female leads being hurt deeply by the men in their lives. At one point of time I would have looked at the emotions from a male point of view. Sure the men were wrong, but what were they going to do to get themselves "out" of the predicament.I  really only considering the woman's perspective from an anger viewpoint. After all they were only being irrational females.
My, how times have changed..
Now I feel the joy, the uncertainty and the pain of the women I watch on the screen.  When I watch a close up of Katherine Hepburn staring into the eyes of Spencer Tracy, I feel her emotion.
I didn't set out to do this on purpose. I grew into it over the last year or so.
I have compared the process to one of a young girl growing up. The process of course I missed in my life.
Many times I have been asked or have wondered was I just covering up my real female self. The obvious answer is yes I probably was or maybe I was just clueless. Really. none of it matters now because the process now is now so real.
So yes I am learning and feeling and growing from the "chic flix" I watch.
The obvious benefits are the natural ones as I grow in my new world.

Please excuse me, the next movie is starting!

I Love My Jeans!

 This is a post I wrote for another site. I love to contribute to a series of post from mainly genetic women. A look from a trans woman could be enlightening!

Yes I am a transgendered woman and I love my jeans.
Interestingly enough, I was criticized within my own culture for being so inclined.
If you are not familiar, many of "us" move through several stages before finally understanding ourselves.Very simply, we start as part time cross dressers and in some cases learn to find how much of a girl we really are.
More than once I was asked in my cross dressing phase "Why would I wear jeans? Don't you wear jeans enough as a guy?"
My answer was simple. I love jeans on women and I love them on me. As a matter of fact, I love them on me more as a girl!
As my life progressed, so did my desire to be a woman. Even to the point I am now on female hormones.
Along the way I realized how little I identified with the gay culture. It wasn't I had anything against it, gay has more to do with sexual orientation which is totally different from gender orientation.
It turns out this process really increased my fondness for jeans as I started to frequent straight venues.  Of course the great majority of women were wearing jeans. I fit right in.
Fashionably I can be correct with the right pair of boots and any number of tops or sweaters-with my jeans.
Perhaps I can compare the process as being a girl as a cross dresser to being a woman today as the hormones begin to change my body and I can fill out my jeans!

Hoosier Trans and Gay Pride!

Indiana is now the only state in the country to
offer license plates promoting awareness of lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender causes.

The new plates will be available beginning in February throughout the
state and feature six hands in red, orange, yellow, green, blue and
purple, which is the logo of the Indiana Youth Group.

That organization provides LGBT training for schools and service
agencies and works to promote tolerance.

The specialty plate costs an additional $40 with $25 directly
benefiting the group which provides training for schools and service
agencies and works to promote tolerance.

I actually live about an hour from the Ohio/Indiana border and have thought for years Indiana was a more progressive state in many ways and this proves it again!
More importantly, this is just more proof of the younger generation attempting to make our world a better place to live!