Fashion Trends and Circles

 

Image from Jonathan Borba
on Unsplash

Following thinking more and more about yesterday's post, I finally figured out I left out too many details of me supposedly not wanting to wear skirts. 

The post was called "Skirting the Issue" and basically zeroed in on the negative feedback I received when I first entered the world with other cross dressers. I was told, if I wanted to wear pants (or slacks) I should just stay dressed in my male clothes. I rejected the comment and proceeded to follow my own path as a novice transvestite in the world. 

Where the experiences changed were when much later I again started to go out in the public's eye. Overall, my first experiences with another person were with my second wife who was very conservative in her dressing styles. In order to try to gain favor with her, I attempted to dress the same way. Mostly relying on jeans or slacks on the rare occasions she went out with me. It didn't seem to matter as she never seemed to like or relate to my emerging feminine self. Ironically, I was many times on the opposite end of the cross dressing spectrum when she wasn't around to judge me.

What happened was, during my earlies Halloween experiments, I dressed as prostitutes in very short dresses or skirts. I always made sure to shave my legs and threw caution to the wind when it came to friends and strangers reacting to me doing just a little (or a lot) to look like a woman. Deep down I was so flattered when I received compliments on how good my legs looked. At that point, I did become obsessed with showing off what I perceived to be my most feminine asset which of course were my legs. It took me forever it seemed to figure out stuffing my male torso and big shoulders into a mini skirt just didn't work. I was just taking the easy way out and cross dressing for the mirror in front of me and not the world.

Over the years I was still able to take advantage of certain fashion trends which came and went. A couple in particular stay in my mind as being beneficial to showing off my legs and still be fashionable. The first was in the 80's I believe when many women where I lived were wearing oversized sweaters with undersized mini skirts. I was able to acquire both fashion items and be positively received in the world because I was able to blend in and not be trashy in my appearance. Plus, I was thrilled to be able to feel the cool air on my freshly shaved legs.

The second fashion trend I was able to take advantage of was when professional women were wearing business suits along with short skirts. Many times they wore colored opaque panty hose and kitten heels to round out their outfits. I was able to find a pale green suit with a short skirt which fit me well and even matched it up with opaque hose that matched. I already had my blond wig and kitten heels so I was ready to go to the upscale malls where I lived and shop for as long as I wanted with no incidents.

I guess where I began to fixate on wearing jeans or pants sometimes again came when I began to be able to find the "Boho" fashions which took me back to my youth. I wore out my jean skirts and tattered bell-bottomed jeans until they had to be discarded. 

Finally I went full circle to the days of trying to appease my wife when I was able to be accepted by a small group of lesbian friends. Most certainly, I wanted to blend with them. Especially when we went to lesbian mixers. It was a challenge to go back but I did because I wanted so desperately to blend in.

I learned through fashion, life is nothing but a circle if you can live long enough to experience it. Living my life as a transgender woman just made the point more evident. 

International Linking!

How much fun is it to link up with a fellow "sister" in Eastern Europe?  A whole bunch!
I just added Monika and her blog from Poland to our Blog list here in the Condo. You may want to jump over there and check her pictorial and bio on Maria Roman (pictured below)
When you check in with her, don't panic if you are like me and barely speak just one language - there is a translation tab towards the top left of the page.
Gollleee! What they gonna think of next?
Seriously, welcome Monika!

Transgender Life in My Little World

As I approach 4 full months on hormones, the major changes I seem to be feeling now are internal with moods and hot flashes.
As I have passed along before, I have cried more in the past month than in my last 50 some years of life.Now, I don't want to portray these tears as a major sign of depression. They were more of a reflection of life and memories I was having.
I suppose you could call this a "liberation" of sorts or ideally I should have been this way my entire life and not let "male conditioning" get in my way.
It doesn't matter. I just know it is happening. Very simply, a couple genetic women I talk to have said "welcome to their world".
So, as I sit here file my nails and think about this post - I guess I am getting what I asked for and yes it does feel natural and good. I was seeking a slow and steady feminization of my body without any major surgery and it's happening.  A whole summer of new fun is almost upon me with more hair on my head and less on my body.
The only frustration I have are those who want to take me to task for how I got here, where I am going and what label I attach to the process.
For the rest of you on (and off) this blog-thanks sooooo much for being along!

Low Brow Comment?

Over the past couple of weeks I've had a couple "eye brow" questions. How did I shape my brows?
As a rule, I stay mainly away from makeup questions.  All of you either have found a path to your own style of makeup or are still exploring and my recommendations are far from being expert.
Eye brows and basic skin care are a different subject however and are rather easy to comment on if I can help.
Early in my feminine progression, my eyebrows were a focus for me-maybe too much so. I became rather aggressive to the point I think my thin brows were rather noticeable. I always assumed they would grow back and they didn't. As I shaped, I also thinned my brows to the point they are today.
I basically got away with it because I wore glasses which kind of covered my rather feminine brows.
So my brow advice is to go slow! Certainly you can cover them with certain kinds of makeup which you can see on a few of the "YouTube" makeovers.  If you are trying to look your best in a normal public setting, that idea is not the best way to go. On the other hand you don't want to walk around with a "uni-brow" look and feminine brows can go a long way in enhancing your look.
I'm sure others of you here have your own "brow beating" story.
Again my advice is to go online for brow shaping advice and go slowly!

Shaping Up.

For whatever reason, I have not slowed down to write about the changes my body is going through as I enter month four  on hormones.
Physically "the girls" continue to be the most noticeable change physically.  They are starting the change from an enlarged "man boob" shape to more of a feminine breast appearance.
Mentally, I did experience my first major "cry" for no apparent real reason and some sort of real melancholy I did not know where it was coming from.
My facial skin continues to be dry while my body skin seems to be softening.
A friend told me others would notice the changes before I would, so I'm telling you what I see.
It's very difficult not to wish away time in this situation.
On the other hand, time does fly by and before we all know it I will have more wonderful changes to pass along!

Spring Beauty

Check the "Boutique Page" for more!

"Weakly Horrorscope"

Here we go friends another "horrorscope" from the Frisky!

Who cares how things get done this week, as long as you haul ass and get all your ducks in a row. As it goes, you need to be on point with your plans now and know what you want. No more putting up with excuses or thinking, “Why me?” as the world can’t wait for your genius for one more day. Bring it or back out.

Sure it's weak but true!!!!!!

Transgendered Quick Sand

Over the history of this blog, no post has ever created the feed back that "Transgendered Mid Life Crisis?" did.

Of course there are those here on the blog as well in the transgender or transsexual community  for what ever reason disagree with waiting until midlife to come to grips with gender problems.
Here is yet another slightly different look from a reader:

"I truly know what you meant about gender quicksand. All my life I have tried to live as would be expected of a hetero-male. All the time knowing that something was out of kilter. As a young child I would always imitate female behavior, was left to care for my siblings during the day, and wore the hand-me-downs from my female cousins. Was made to go to elementary school wearing cotton panties, side zip pants, and colorful outerwear. It felt so natural, but brought-on a lot of teasing. At that age you don't understand gender bias. The teasing didn't bother me. I knew I was different and sort of withdrew into myself. I got along with girls much more than boys and further identified with them. As much as I wanted to be like them, I agonized over why I felt so different and began internalizing my feelings. This is the first time I have ever told anyone, not even my wife. I want to be set free to be who I am and live the rest of my life as I was meant to be."

Of course I have read and commiserated with so many transgendered, transsexual and cross dressers over the years especially with the growth of the Internet. With those of you who have thought enough of me to share your experiences truly humbles me.
The whole process has instilled in me how totally and completely nearly all of us have been in our lives living between the gender "rock and a hard place".

Through it all, these absolutes come to mind. The first is "nothing is as bad or as good as it seems". No matter what happens, look for the middle ground. The second is you have to carry your own rope if you are heading for the quicksand. At some point in time you are going to have to take it upon yourself to lasso a rock or tree limb to pull yourself out. You have to plan on it. These days there is so much info for trans women and trans men to claim ignorance.

Finally I have met so many of you who are literally hanging on to your lives for dear life and looking over a huge cliff. As a constant reminder, I have the "Golden Gate Bridge" pictured on my cell phone. It reminds me of the leap of faith I'm taking
Take care my friends, our landing can be softer than we think!

STOP The Presses!

The page where Jenna's profile appeared was withdrawn CLICK HERE!
In just 24 hours after Missosology.Org reported that Miss Universe Canada has accepted a transsexual in the name of Jenna Talackova, as one of their 2012 finalists, reactions, both pros and antis, spread like wildfire. While the comments are in form of healthy debate, something weird happened. The profile of Jenna is no longer available on the official Miss Universe Canada website. She was not also in the official list of finalists! What happened? Missosology is not so sure. Jenna today, contacted Missosology to change her photo in the forum. Meanwhile, we intend to contact the Miss Universe Canada Organization regarding the issue.
So, what do you think happened?
a.) Miss Universe Canada was duped in believing that Jenna is a woman
b.) Miss Universe Canada decided to kick her out because of the controversy that he/she created
c.) Jenna herself decided not to join

Here are some of the photos of Jenna sent to Missosology

Canadians Like More Than Hockey!

"Miss Universe Canada has officially accepted Jenna Talackova, a transsexual, as a contestant in the upcoming finals in May 19. Jenna has already represented Canada at Miss International Queen, a beauty pageant for transsexuals. The fact that she was accepted as a contestant raised several ethical and moral issues but for some it is a sign of equality. Canada is one of the progressive nations on earth with a very liberal application of its Equality Law as enshrined in its 1982 constitution.

But many pageant fans are not happy with this. They see it as an affront to the establishment since contests like the Big4 (Miss Universe, Miss World, Miss International and Miss Earth) are meant for naturally born women. While we've seen lesbians competing at the state level as in the case of Miss California USA 2012, the current issue is far more controversial because this is about a person born as a man and converted himself into a woman.

Still, many see this as a sign of equality and of freedom. After all, Jenna is legally a woman. Supporters say this is about someone who pursue his or her dream and should not be discriminated against.

Then again too, there may be more than a few who are afraid of her winning!!!!

This story came from "MISSOSOLOGY" 

Thanks Bobbie!

Another Feminine Myth?

The number one feminine mystique is the bathroom. My opinion is that women who want to protect their "Alamo" from a trans woman are just trying to perpetuate the rumor that something magical happens behind the closed doors of the bathroom-other than the obvious.
The number two most misunderstood gender mystique is a woman's purse. A purse can come in many sizes from very small to a veritable suitcase. In many ways a woman's handbag can say as much about her as anything other part of her external being.
A well worn bag could represent a woman who has a family and spends her time and resources on them. On the other hand a plain girl with a glitzy purse could be showing a glimpse of a more adventurous inner self.
Regardless of all of that, what does a woman carry in that purse anyhow?
As I become more experienced in "hand bag" basics, here is what I need in my purse to survive in the world.
Of course I need my ID's and and my bank card as I try to carry very little cash. Even though I don't deal with credit cards I seemingly accumulate other plastic cards at an alarming rate. From grocery stores, to gas stations to the various restaurants I go to-everyone offers a card. Yes I do use them and I'm fairly sure I have a million bonus points and my own personal jet waiting for me when I cash in.
Then there is the makeup. I wish I could say I was a "natural beauty" and didn't need makeup.....
For added weight I always make sure I save my change. I never know when my financial empire is going to crash and I will need those coins!
To be certain I can never find my keys or anything else in my purse (karma for all the years I made fun of women) I make sure I throw all kinds of miscellaneous things in for fun.
Of course there are the feminine hygiene products I carry in case I run into someone elses' monthly emergency in the bathroom. Or how about several receipts I don't know even where they came from mixed in with a few Kleenex's?
Now I understand why the contents of a woman's purse was always such an off limits subject.  Explaining to someone the whys and hows of what's in the bag would give away the obvious. I need everything in there for my life...DUH!
Don't be sticking your hand in there...something could bite you!

Trans Not Gay?

Has the transgendered nation earned the right to ask or demand our release from the so called LBGT umbrella?
In reality how did we end up there anyhow? Must have been one hell of a rainstorm?
Isn't our mantra "sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears"?
Truthfully there are two factors which keep us under the leaky umbrella. The biggest truth is we as a trans nation don't have a powerful enough national organization to effect change. To make matters worse the trans community as a whole can't even quit bickering enough to accept each other.
A leaky umbrella has the potential to keep us dryer than none at all.
The other truth is so many of the trans community are still in the closet or are out and living stealth. I'm not throwing rocks in a glass closet because I'm not totally out.
Here's an idea for our own trans umbrella. We could call it the TTC.-Transsexual/Transgendered/Crossdresser Alliance. Of course the cross dressers would have less of a voice because as a group they are less vocal and the transsexuals would have a bigger voice since they have gone through more pain and expense.
It doesn't matter because as they say in the old country "Hey dude, that ain't happenin"!
I know what you are thinking  "Put your actions where your words are". Unfortunately I don't have the knowledge or the resources to even know how to start such an undertaking. I just do the best I can with my little blog in the vast Internet universe.
On the other hand the whole situation frustrates and even angers me.
The bottom line is the transgendered nation will probably remain mired in petty internal disputes unlike the others under the umbrella.  Is there a pecking order in the male gay community if you are an effeminate or macho gay guy . In the lesbian community do butches consider themselves better than femmes? Probably not to the extent transsexuals have the tendency to build their own pedestals in trans nation.
So maybe we don't deserve more room under the umbrella until we grow up and attempt to understand each other first. How can we ask for acceptance when we don't even accept each other?

Never Go To The Grocery Store Hungry!

Everything looks good at a grocery store when you are hungry.
Quite a few things look good too when you are growing your own hair.
I just got out of the car when I noticed the tall strawberry blond across the parking lot putting her groceries in the car. I really admired her soft curls blowing in the wind and wondered how it will feel when my own hair grows to that length or longer.  Hopefully as long as the next woman I admired in the store. She was "more mature"( like me) and was brushing her long straight silver streaked hair from her face with her hand. I can only imagine how long it has taken for her hair to grow that full and long!
Of course most of the women in the store were wearing that "who really cares" wind blown look. Many more were respectable in pulled back pony tails and a few shorter styles framing their faces.
The best part of the whole experience is knowing now sooner more than later I will be able to color and style my own hair-and make my own choices.
As it turns out, shopping for food was secondary to hair fashion research!

"Two Spirit Ranch"

I have my copy of the new trans-romance novel "Two Spirit Ranch" by Jaime Stryker.
The difference with Jamie's novel is it's aimed at a mainstream audience.
In my past I have read "transgender fiction". Most of what I have seen or read is aimed more at a erotic/sexual reader-not a romantic one.
I am going to take advantage of our snowy weather coming up this week and get romantic with the book!
In the meantime you can follow the link above to the "Amazon" site above or take a look below.

"

Book Description

Publication Date: January 18, 2012

In this groundbreaking romance novel, Terri Lawson, an alluring young attorney, has it all. She’s on the fast-track at her firm, widely recognized for her pro bono work, and has a handsome suitor, who she’s sure has marriage on his mind. But when her boyfriend abruptly calls off their relationship and her favorite uncle passes away, she suddenly find herself losing all that was important to her. Not sure where to turn next, Terri heads off for a trip to small town Clearview, Montana to explore the sprawling ranch her uncle left her. It’s there that Terri while speeding down the highway has a run in with the ruggedly handsome sheriff, Jake Collins. As the two find their mutual attraction too strong to deny, Terri, who had only planned to be in town a few days, finds herself wondering if she can risk opening her heart again and sharing a secret from her past with Jake. ..Terri was once Terrence. Debut novelist Jaime Stryker presents not only a romance with a transgendered heroine but a tale of true love and acceptance.

 

Check it out!!!!!!