Trans Not Gay?

Has the transgendered nation earned the right to ask or demand our release from the so called LBGT umbrella?
In reality how did we end up there anyhow? Must have been one hell of a rainstorm?
Isn't our mantra "sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears"?
Truthfully there are two factors which keep us under the leaky umbrella. The biggest truth is we as a trans nation don't have a powerful enough national organization to effect change. To make matters worse the trans community as a whole can't even quit bickering enough to accept each other.
A leaky umbrella has the potential to keep us dryer than none at all.
The other truth is so many of the trans community are still in the closet or are out and living stealth. I'm not throwing rocks in a glass closet because I'm not totally out.
Here's an idea for our own trans umbrella. We could call it the TTC.-Transsexual/Transgendered/Crossdresser Alliance. Of course the cross dressers would have less of a voice because as a group they are less vocal and the transsexuals would have a bigger voice since they have gone through more pain and expense.
It doesn't matter because as they say in the old country "Hey dude, that ain't happenin"!
I know what you are thinking  "Put your actions where your words are". Unfortunately I don't have the knowledge or the resources to even know how to start such an undertaking. I just do the best I can with my little blog in the vast Internet universe.
On the other hand the whole situation frustrates and even angers me.
The bottom line is the transgendered nation will probably remain mired in petty internal disputes unlike the others under the umbrella.  Is there a pecking order in the male gay community if you are an effeminate or macho gay guy . In the lesbian community do butches consider themselves better than femmes? Probably not to the extent transsexuals have the tendency to build their own pedestals in trans nation.
So maybe we don't deserve more room under the umbrella until we grow up and attempt to understand each other first. How can we ask for acceptance when we don't even accept each other?

Should I Fell Guilty?

 I've seen a couple of stories floating around about the transgender woman who literally beat up a man on a NYC subway for calling her a man.
I'm not one to be drawn to graphic violence of any type, but I have to tell you I did try to watch this video.
Ironically YouTube had removed the video for "shocking and disgusting" content.
Immediately I wondered if the video of the transgender teen who was beaten in a McDonald's was on YouTube why wasn't this? More discrimination?
At any rate, as much as I have wanted to turn on someone in my past for their ignorant, insensitive behavior it would somehow be counter productive to do it. It's just not me.
So it would have been a guilty pleasure to watch a transgendered sister pull a can of whup ass out of her purse and thump an insensitive bastard.
Personally I will stick to words!

2011 Transgendered Milestones

Lavern Cox

As the the year comes to a close it seems everyone has a year in review.       
In our transgendered world 2011 was a very active year with several positive milestones.
"Laverne Cox"  recently wrote about transgender acting milestones in the "Huffington Post".
From "Chaz Bono" and "Harmony Santana" to her own acting career, she covers many transgendered acting successes in 2011 and the hopes for more in the future.
Here's a short look at the past year.

Yasmin Lee

In an article about transgender performers in the December 8-14, 2011 issue of Backstage, Simi Horwitz writes, "Casting director Sig De Miguel ... looks forward to the time when a character's transgender status is incidental to the script and an actor's trans identity is irrelevant to casting. 'You may be born male, but you're a woman now,' De Miguel says." De Miguel represents a growing number of industry professionals who are open to casting trans actors in roles that aren't necessarily written as trans. He cast three of the films in which I acted in 2011. He also cast Harmony Santana in Gun Hill Road. In 36 Saints, one of those films, I play the effusive party promoter Genesius. Nowhere in the script does it say that she is transgender, nor is it inauthentic to the story that she is.
The highest profile fictional transgender film character of 2011 was the controversial role of Kimmy in the blockbuster The Hangover 2. The role was played by transsexual adult film actress Yasmin Lee. I had the pleasure of briefly meeting Yasmin a few years ago. She seemed very sweet. I hope this high-profile role has opened other doors for Lee.

As always, follow the link for more!

Stop It!

Please! No more moronic far fetched TV sitcoms about men dressing as women! The latest "Work It" on ABC will certainly fail because it's terrible-QUICKLY!  The problem is the project should not have even started.
Our transgendered world has changed so much for the better over the years and a show like this is the last thing we need.
I know  publicists believe that any publicity is good publicity. It's NOT true.
You have probably heard there is a petition out to stop the show and you can follow the link above to sign it.
Believing something such as this show will go away soon enough just because it's bad just isn't good enough for the transgendered community.
"Work It" needs to go away because it's bad for us and the transgendered community of the future!

Making a Transgender Difference in the UK

"Sarah Brown's" expereinces are all too familiar.

In Europe's "Pink News" she talked of being Cambridge's Councillor and the country's only out transgender official.
She said: “I have experienced three types of discrimination – transphobia, homophobia and misogyny”.
“Since the transition to live as female I’m suddenly a second-class citizen. Suddenly my personal space was invaded and I started getting men touching me and being groped on the Tube.
“All this stuff I had not experienced before. I have also had complete strangers coming up asking me questions about my genitals which is completely rude.”
Sound familiar?

"Ms Brown, who ranked 28th on the Independent on Sunday’s Pink List, making her the UK’s most influential trans person, entered into a civil partnership in 2009.
But she had to file for divorce from her then wife, Sylvia Knight, before they could become civil partners after her transition.
“When we were in court in Cambridge getting divorced we had to sort of convince ourselves what we were doing. However we came out holding hands and crying.
“We developed an understanding together and were interested in each other as people.”

Her attitude says it all:
The 53-year-old said: “I want to raise the profile of trans-genders,
lesbians and gays.
“We are pretty marginalised. Society is more accepting of gays than
transgenders. I want to bring people out of the shadows.
“There are 14 and 15-year-olds out there who are scared to be who they
really are because they fear being picked on.
“I’ve been there. I know what it feels like – and attitudes need to change.”
Good "stuff"! Follow the link for more on the story.

I am NOT a Crossdresser!

Don't get upset. A while ago I wrote a post on Hub Pages and shared it here on why I'm not a crossdresser.
Here it is again:

Maybe you aren't either.

I don't spend 100% of my life yet as a female, but when I do does that qualify me as a crossdresser? When I'm working as a guy...maybe I'm a crossdresser then?
Where is the mystical line? If you take the word in it's most basic form I am a crossdresser because I don't wear the clothes of my birth gender. Then again, who says what my birth gender really was?
What "clicks" in my brain when I'm a girl? I shop and eat and do girl stuff. I simply love the hair, clothes and makeup! The word cross dresser has no meaning. If I'm not a female, I'm certainly not a guy just dressed in ladies clothes trying to fool the world.
Are you a crossdresser? Even if you are walking through the mall in sky high heels, big hair and a short skirt you may not be. You could be going through your teen girl years. It happens to all of them. They grow up and so will you.
Don't get me wrong here. I know I will never be a genetic female. No amount of surgery or hormones has perfected that miracle of science yet. I am a mix of both genders and something I'm becoming very comfortable with. The crossdresser in you will disappear as you feel more comfortable and your female side establishes what she wants to be.
So,when someone refers to you as a crossdresser, maybe you are not. Think of it this way. I'm a guy out of convenience and a girl out of desire!

Over the months I've had several comments but the one I'm going to share is beyond wonderful!

jeanine commented:

I am a two spirited individual... and could be and can fall into all of the categories... trans anything, to me is just the diversity within our tribe... I do not like what the medical community has done for and to us as a tribe... sense the beginning of time we have been advisers to Kings, Queens and leaders all over the world... we were revered because of our knowledge of both genders... consider Holy men to most native tribes around the world and until the European version Christianity came on the scene we were known as the keepers of the secrets of God... I cannot understand why our tribe has embraced the binary system... since the medical community has been helping us we have been relegated to the Jerry Springer show... I'm having trouble with the medical community telling me I will be more if they make me less... I am not one or the other I am both... transsexuals to me are just the new Eunuchs and they are so beautiful to me... what the world does know but I'm sure you do is we all hear that women are going to be elevated to rule the world completely, so some of us change to get to go to the head of the line... some change because we can and yet others change to get away from the angst that this society has placed upon us... I know there is a day coming when we will be restored to our rightful place of honor... I am not one or the other... I am both... it is the gift from God that we have received... enjoyed the read...

I have written here on occasion on how most of the ancient cultures did revere our knowledge we gain from both sides of the gender divide. I have just not been able to express my feelings on the subject as well as Jeanine!

Transgender Cup Half Full Or Empty?

As we pause to remember our transgendered sisters and brothers who have died for whatever reason, it is time to consider our past and future.
Here on the blog I try to present the positive and minimize the violence which does plague the transgender culture.
Why?
I try to be a positive person and perceive my cup as half full. Rehashing transgendered violence would make me no better than the 11 local television news. The news motto is "the bloodier, the better."
Having said that, the overwhelming sadness when someone is physically harmed just because of gender differences is just crazy.
Add the torment of emotional abuse from family and peer groups and this is a time to remember the ones who have suffered the ultimate penalty. It is also a time to not forget.
Transgender violence stories should serve as a constant reminder to all of us to be aware of our surroundings at all times. Maybe you should add that Mace pepper spray you have been thinking of buying and keep it in your purse. It's all part of being a woman.
Transgender violence should also remind us to always stand up and be counted when we can when transgender issues arise. 
We can never forget that every little bit helps and together we can move the world.
It's a shame when violence has to motivate us.

Seeking Attention To Get None

Transgender folk have to seek attention to get none.  Once we get attention the world finds we are just real people like everyone else. We are good people and we are bad people. Same thoughts, same normal life. Yes, I said it normal.
We get up in the morning and go to bed at night and yes we are a part of the human race.
Once we are in the spotlight as transgendered women or men, it takes most of the fun away. Most of the population seems to to say Oh? and moves on.
I have mentioned the show being aired on the UK's Channel 4, "My Transsexual Summer". This show in particular looks in depth at 7 transgendered lives.  You can watch a sample of it on YouTube and here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cts4nFWHvDs
Of course the British can have a more open look at some of the sexuality of our situations especially in the clip I saw. Female to Male transmen were having a realitively graphic look at a few male sexual "aids".
To use a big word, are all these spotlights the antithesis to the transgender stealth mode? "Stealth" is when  one becomes so entrenched and comfortable in their chosen gender they simply disapeer into society?
If we as a transgender culture experience spotlights and publcity, will we too simply vanish into society?
Before any of us are too quick to scream yes we have to take a step back.
Sure the transsexual woman who has been living a quiet life for years next door to you deserves a lot of credit. She built her to the point she wanted. At the same time though, she wasn't the one to step forward and be out and active enough to push our cause forward.
My statement is an observation not an condemnation. I have no right to suggest how someone should live their life. I have a hard enough time with my own.
Only one thing is certain. If the spotlight shines on us and we don't push to make the time a positive one for transgendered people everywhere, we all deserve stealth or the closet.
After all, they may be similar except for the size.

A Transgendered "It" Really?

Just when I thought the world was getting just a bit more well adjusted (just a bit) to our transgender world, out jumps another sophmoric comment about us.
This time the comment jumped out and slapped me from my radio on the way to work.
If you are familiar with the "Clear Channel" company, it is a mega broadcasting giant in this country-and a right wing one at that.
The station was one of Clear Channel's anchor's,  700 WLW in Cincinnati and the person who said it was "Gary Jeff Walker".  Normally I just let all this shallow thinking go in one ear and out the other. This comment though (which screamed at me from my radio speakers) went totally past right wing thinking directly into bigotry.
I decided to check into Walker and read his blog.
Amazingly enough, I found a post celebrating "diversity" and Martin Luther King. Obviously Walker's Diversity begins and ends with race and I had to say something.
 I placed this comment on his blog:
"Saturday morning November 19th at approximately 7:50 am you must have tossed your self serving comments on "diversity" out the window when you tossed out the "it" word when you somehow thought it would cute to go back to your high school days and make fun of "Chaz Bono" and other transgender people.
Nice try on trying to cover your bigotry by saying something to the fact it was OK to be transgendered but why did you have to hear about it. Really?
If that was the case, why did you even bring it up?
Shame on you and when you discover someone in your family is a transgendered "it" someday...what will you say then?"
I'm a firm believer in "karma" and I'm sure Walker will get his share of payback in the quest for ratings.
In the meantime, I wonder what female name Walker uses when he parties in the clubs of Cincinnati...or does he go to Columbus to be discrete?

Transgender Heaven and Hell!

Heaven!
Yet another victory for another very young transgender child. Bascically this is what happened.
In Colorado, the Girl Scouts initially rejected a 7 year old boy's request to join. Then:

The Girl Scouts issued a statement saying a
worker unfamiliar with the group's policies gave the family wrong
information.
The group says requests for support of transgender kids have grown,
and Girl Scouts of Colorado is working to support the children, their
families and the volunteers who serve them.

Hell!
Of course the young transgendered girl is facing bullying at school and the other problems we face identifying with another gender...Such as this flyer from the Mormon Church.
Note the final sentence.

Then again I can't believe the Mormons allow Halloween at all!

Hopefully, the 7 year transgender child will be able to enjoy and grow in the Girl Scouts.
There is hope for all of us!

Transitioning Without Hormones?

As I write this post, I wonder how many different directions it can go.
You know I don't often jump into the cat fight between the transsexual and transgendered camps.  I don't have time for the bitterness.
Speaking of bitterness I surfed across a blog that one of you may have seen. Of course I can't seem to back track to where I saw or read it.  The main point of the transgendered woman's post was disagreeing with a "gold star" transsexual view of basically the rest of us poor transgendered "wanna be" women.
The definition of a "gold star" transsexual is a person who assumes the female gender and is absolutely gorgeous. (basically)
Since I fall into the category of the poor downtrodden transgender "wanna be", I started to think of how I really felt about the situation.
I know no matter how long I try and how many hormones I take I will never achieve the "gold star" status. I feel so very fortunate to be able just to interact in the world as a female as much as I do.
Also, when I read or hear a "gold star" put herself up on a lofty pedestal, I always believe somewhere in their male past they always wanted to be really good at something. That something just happened to be a beautiful looking female.  Maybe they are just are the best looking guy in the room. (I've told you in the past I knew someone like that.)
That is just me playing in both sides mud hole and I'm moving on. Life is too short for their petty arguments.
The discussion does raise other personal questions however.
As I have posted in the past, I really wonder where my "internal transition" fits with either group. In response I asked my therapist what she thought. What did she think about my recent subconscious feminine reactions to movies, music. language etc. Obviously without hormones.
My psychologist brought up the "gender cube". Basically, the cube lists nearly 30 different sexual/gender combinations from "straight hetero male" to whatever. When I bypassed the transgendered categories altogether and identified with a masculine feminine female; she simply said I had been burying my true self. My inside self just had never had the need to transition. Just being open to who I really am (I realized) was transitioning without hormones.
By now, you are wondering what point am I trying to make.
Since I am not planning on any radical surgery, will the "gold stars" ever accept me as much of a woman as they are? (Even though I am feeling more and more as one?)
How many of them are still really just guys who became enamored with the pretty girl in the mirror and simply went for more?
Better yet...who cares? I guess sometimes I do!

Transgender Clock Ticking Again

I think I mention this before every return trip to the therapist. "I can't believe two weeks of my life has sped by" and I'm a day away from appointment three.
Obviously my "horrorscope"was completely right about my life moving at the speed of light.
The good thing is for the most part, I'm enjoying the ride!
My upcoming "day with the shrink" is going to interesting and fun for several reasons. I'm starting the day with breakfast with my daughter.  I will be dressed in guy drag but undoubtably the subject of hormones will come up.  My appointment is later in the afternoon. Plenty of time to to get dressed for the occassion. I try to pick out a casual feminine outfit.  My goal is to project a quiet confidence in who I am.
Following the appoitment I'm meeting up with my best gf for coffee and a discussion of our night at the "Witches Ball" we are going to in a couple of weeks. How much fun will that be!!!!!
The way "time flies" I'm sure I will be sharing details of that evening before we know it!

In The Eye of The Storm

Had to happen. The sun and moon and stars would align and all the people in my fave spot who wanted to know more about me...are.
I have come to the conclusion a couple of the women there will never accept me and that's OK. The three others more than make up for the two.One of the three I have mentioned before.
She is the Russian "Quantum Physics" professor can totally drink anyone I've ever met under the table.She is attractive and 40ish and wonders why she doesn't have a serious man? I asked her if she could spell intimidation? Most of the guys I know as a guy would be scared to death of her! Like me, most have no idea of what Quantum Physics is and she teaches it on a graduate level?
Perhaps "whatever it is" (I'm too lazy tonight to even Google it) effects how she relates to me.
Let me relate it to you in a baseball sense.  She will throw me a pitch which looks like it is coming right down the center of the plate as girl to guy communication. Then, at the very last minute she will pull the string and it will dip into a girl to girl moment. Fascinating!
So I can live with the other "bitches" (OK I said it). Just so they don't go after my rest room privileges!
In the midst of these girls is the guy I will call the "alpha" regular and I will discuss him in the next post.

The Russians Are Coming!

This is part two of my last post.
On the same day I had the "connection" with the gay guy in guy drag, this happened to me at night.
I headed to my current "fave" spot. Very early into the evening,  one of the "other" sorority girls had enough "liquid" courage to sit down next to me and ask the magic question...what is your story?
I have seen her many times but never understood how close she was to the "ruling Alpha Females" in the pub...including the one who got me banned from the women's room
My immediate answer was "you ask me questions" what do you want to know?
As she fooled with my hair and dabbed at my eye makeup, the only real question again was the use of the restroom.
It turns out (according to her) some of the *sorority sisters have a problem with my restroom choice when they get a little intoxicated. I didn't mention the woman is Russian and consumed two shots of liquor and a beer in the short time she talked to me! In her thick Russian accent she said she didn't care but some of the others were not so liberal and were very narrow minded Ohio girls. (I need to throw Oklahoma under the bus here, because I know at least one is from there).
I kept trying to impress upon her how happy I was she took the time to talk to me and attempted to get to know me.  I had hoped to do that with the rest of the sisters.
Several very important things could come of this. First and foremost maybe I made another friend in the group. IF she remembers any of the conversation. Some night I want to gather my courage and sit down with the group and have a chat.
My fear is the rest room discrimination card is still very much in play here. If I never had to use it that would be fine but that is not possible.
I considered not going back for awhile. Then again, why should I penalize myself for a couple others feelings and I am sooo tired of running. I like the place!
I know I'm a curiosity but I don't want to be a distraction and definitely don't want to be a problem! 
Maybe nothing will happen and hopefully I will find the courage to chat with the sorority,
Time will tell and it is moving at "warp" speed!

*The group has nothing to do with a real sorority.  I use the term to describe the female gender as a whole and their reaction to a transgender woman. In this case a group of 4 to 5 regular single females in the pub who hand out together.

Washed Out!

We experienced a real storm last night in my part of the world.
Being the stubborn person I am (determined) I just wanted to go the 10 yards or so to stop in to one of my faves.
As I tried to hustle in...my flip flops gave it up in the running water! I mean both of them broke!
Now what? I knew I wasn't allowed in to the place without footwear.
I gathered myself and headed back to my car and headed home. The problem was I wasn't ready to go or stay home.
Should I try to stop at a store and buy another pair of flips (again barefooted) or try to barefoot it across my long back yard. 
I decided to take the home route as the storm had subsided.
I made it OK finally, wet hair, clothes and all.
The whole experience just turned out to be another female lesson!

Transgender Fiction

Yet another layer of our transgendered culture is transgendered fiction. I've seen it on occasion and even downloaded an on line book at one occasion.
I equate transgender fiction with a frustrated non practicing crossdresser who wants to spend some time with me. I don't say this negatively. If we are stuck deeply in a closet outlets are needed. In addition, I love to meet good people in our culture and if in any way I can help is good karma!
Meeting a practicing "out" transgendered girl such as myself or reading transgendered fiction serve a basic need.
I'm passing along a fictionalized story based on the short lived "Ask Harriet" TV show.
It is called Ask Harriet:Disguise in love with you .
Being able to easily locate and read transgendered fiction is yet another positive influence of the internet. At least now the closet has access to the world wide web and that's a good thing!

A Man's Woman?

Used to think I enjoyed the company of women more than men.
Now I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm one of those women who doesn't have many female friends or doesn't like other women? Why?
Lately I've been craving interacting with a guy as a girl.  Feeling the passions of his life.Certainly this is not the first time I have thought this way. BUT
Just the thought of all this confuses even me!
A trans girl who wants to be one of the boys? Really?
Maybe this is coming from the amount of time I'm spending recently at work with women. In guy drag.
I found myself thinking "Wow I need some time with another guy to find my sanity!" BUT this is how it spins. I want to spend it with them as a girl. Maybe the whole idea is not so rare?
I have known women who feel their gender drowns in drama. They hate the "passive aggressive" nature of females as a whole. They prefer hanging out with guys.
Sure I'm speaking in broad generalizations. No matter how much it is denied, there is always a dose of sexual tension between the genders.
On the other hand, we have all known women in our life who function very smoothly with men, sexual or not.
At this moment that seems to be a very comfortable place!

The Seeds Of Hate

The seeds of hate are nourished by confusion and ignorance. Not an earth shattering statement to be sure but I saw it up and close and personal the other night.
I've seen this guy notice me a couple times in one of the places I go. There is no real secret there of my past so I believe he knows I'm trans.
The last time I saw him, our eyes locked for a few seconds (which I try never to do). I think I saw the hint of confusion in him. Did he find me attractive. If he did what were the feelings he was dealing with? Unfairly I looked at him as a overly macho, redneck guy.I know as little about him as he knows about me.
I began to think. Is this where it all starts. The confusion over looks and an ignorance of what it means?
We all know a simple act of aggression is a male reaction to some problems.
The simple act of aggression can easily turn into a hate crime.
Thank God she hasn't challenged with me that yet and thank God for the really nice female friends who go out of their way to make me feel welcome!
Simple meetings such as that can only make me imagine what torture the truly attractive transgendered women go through.  Telling a man up front is the right thing to do for sure. 
Craving attention and hating loneliness shouldn't be a sin either. Being beaten or worse yet killed for hiding the truth are terrible.
I believe I may seen just a small part of that road the other night.

There Is Progress!

Here are a couple of "feel good" stories.
The first comes form "Jacqueline White" at the "StarTribune"
Here is an excerpt,
"It sounds like a great set-up for drama: My spouse, Marcus, who used to be Margery, goes back to the college he attended as a woman, which happens to be a women's college, Mount Holyoke.
How will the alumnae respond when one of their own shows up at their 25th reunion as a man?
The drama turned out to be a nonstory. Of course some classmates did initially --understandably -- look to me as the presumed alumna.
The worst thing to happen was that one person laughed when Marcus showed up at the registration table claiming to be a graduate. But he still got a registration packet.
When he took his turn saying a few words about what he'd been up to since he graduated, his classmates responded with hearty applause. And guess what?
Other than his gender transition, what Marcus had been up to was not all that different from what his classmates had been up to. He got established in his career, bought a house, served on some nonprofit boards, got married and adopted our daughter."
"In the end, he turned out to be just another guy with a receding hairline reminiscing at his 25th college reunion."
Unfortunately, Marcus's story does not take into consideration the 63% of transgendered individuals who have experienced simple to severe bias in their lives. (2011 National Transgender Discrimination Survey) .
The difference it seems is largely based in how the family accepts the gender transition.
The next story is an excerpt from a continuing one you have probably heard of.
From the "Mother Company" comes part two in a story called "Raising a Boy in Pink".
Son "Sam" suddenly announced he wanted to wear a pink dress to school and here is part of the reaction.
The parents coached Sam on what to say to the children at preschool who might tease him. They role-played things he could say back to them. They talked about how much teasing can hurt, but that teasing is wrong. At that morning’s school drop-off, Mom's faith in Sam moved up a notch when he announced to his teacher, “Look at my pretty dress! No one is allowed to make fun of me.”
After school, Sam beamed as he reported that his teachers had said they liked his dress, and the other four-year-olds had said he looked pretty. But the kids in the five-year-old class teased him and told him that “boys can’t wear dresses,” and that he “must not be a boy.”
“What did you say back?” I asked. “I said, ‘Don’t make fun of me! I can be a boy and wear a dress, because it is my choice!’”
Enough (and more than enough) said!

Gabrielle Rivera :"It's Not Getting Any Better"

The much publicized campaign ("It Gets Better") aimed at LGBT youth is indeed a wonderful message. In the midst of the celebration of the victories the community has won, at least one voice is reminding all of us who far we have to go..or is she?
Bronx poet Gabrielle Rivera, said  “No, it doesn’t get better—but you do get stronger.” Has she been living under a rock? I believe it has gotten much better. No way in my youth could I have gained the acceptance I have now.
Gabrielle Rivera is right in that I am stronger and happier.
I certainly understand the gains are sometimes temporary and hard fought.  At least now when a public person takes aim at our community, there is a backlash.
Gabrielle Rivera must spend no time with kids. More and more care less and less about traditional gender roles. Much of my most positive feedback comes from "20 somethings"
On a personal level I need to get stronger. I should have made the effort the other day to say something to the woman with that stupid smirk on her face and I should done a better job of correcting a trans slur at work.  But hey, I'm trying and I will get better because we have a long way to go!
I know people in NYC feel their world is one of the only relevant ones that exist before you get to the west coast.  Gabrielle Rivera needs to get out and see it!