Transgender Cup Half Full Or Empty?

As we pause to remember our transgendered sisters and brothers who have died for whatever reason, it is time to consider our past and future.
Here on the blog I try to present the positive and minimize the violence which does plague the transgender culture.
Why?
I try to be a positive person and perceive my cup as half full. Rehashing transgendered violence would make me no better than the 11 local television news. The news motto is "the bloodier, the better."
Having said that, the overwhelming sadness when someone is physically harmed just because of gender differences is just crazy.
Add the torment of emotional abuse from family and peer groups and this is a time to remember the ones who have suffered the ultimate penalty. It is also a time to not forget.
Transgender violence stories should serve as a constant reminder to all of us to be aware of our surroundings at all times. Maybe you should add that Mace pepper spray you have been thinking of buying and keep it in your purse. It's all part of being a woman.
Transgender violence should also remind us to always stand up and be counted when we can when transgender issues arise. 
We can never forget that every little bit helps and together we can move the world.
It's a shame when violence has to motivate us.

Playing the Transgender System?

This story from the "San Diego LGBT Weekly" caught my eye for it's delicious touch of irony.

"It seems Transgender Human Rights Campaign board member Megan Stabler (pictured above) has married another woman in Texas by legally declaring her gender as male, a development that could be considered controversial (and perhaps hypocritical) because of Stabler’s national prominence, and because of her position at HRC as the only known trans person sitting on the board.
The lesbian couple could not legally marry in Texas as such. But by declaring male gender-identity, presumably by way of a birth certificate that reflected her gender at birth, their union is recognized by that largely far-right leaning state."
Sure the whole marriage could be seen as hypocritical. Then again, why not turn a system around and use a "loop hole" as a positvie in your life?
My bottom line reaction is judging from Megan's picture, it's the men of Texas who lost out to a woman...again.

Transgender Bathroom Rumors

From the "The Huffington Post" comes a post on a subject near and not so dear to me...restroom priviledges. As any accomplished transgender person knows , the whole affair of simply going to the bathroom can turn into a major event.
This perspective comes from a trans man:

"Believe it or not, I am a guy who likes to leave my house from time to time. Occasionally I'll be out, you know, people-watching in the local park, shopping downtown, or cruising around and making frequent stops at the tiny indie cafe in my gentrifying Brooklyn neighborhood, inhaling pints of coffee on the hour. Sometimes I'll even drink water. Eventually the time comes when my bladder has successfully been filled and I'll have to, you know, empty it. I'll find the nearest public restroom and use it. As long as there's a stall with a door, of course.
As a "transitioned" transsexual man, it's easy for me. Again, as long as there is a stall involved. I can't stress that enough. This man needs a stall. Because he sits to pee. Because he still has a vagina.
Now, as an adult, using public men's rooms has gone from a newfound glory to an inspiration for feelings of constant paranoia. It doesn't matter where I am -- it could be at the SoHo Bloomingdale's bathroom or at a truck stop in middle America -- there is still that sense of dread. I'm comfortable with the "plumbing" I was born with and don't want to change it, and I choose to not use a "stand-to-pee" contraption, but the flip side to that is I can't use a urinal and have to use a stall. Many times there is just one lone stall and the door has been ripped off, or it's out of order. Sometimes I have to visit three fast-food places just to find a bathroom with a working stall. Even then, when I'm halfway there, comfortable in the stall and ready to let the urine fly, I am convinced that the sound of the stream hitting the toilet bowl water sounds drastically different from the sound of pee exiting a penis and hitting the toilet water, and that the bathroom police await my exit so that they can tell me I'm in the wrong place and to tell me that they know my body is different from theirs, that they know my past and what's in my pants. And that it actually matters."

I've written several times of the trials of using the women's room and yes I've been told not too by one manager and even had the cops called on me once...for just going to the bathroom.
I know the situation is not going away. In fact the restroom is the only paranoia I'm feeling about my upcoming exciting "Witches Ball" evening.
I really feel out of place in the men's room (obviously) and just don't want to compromise my ideals.
I too worry about the sound of my pee hitting the bowl. Does the woman in the next stall over notice?
So I won't compromise my ideals and look like a total fool using the wrong restroom...the man's.
The feeling of relief I have each time I'm able to use the proper restroom is two fold. The first is obvious. I had to go! The second is less obvious. The bathroom police weren't summoned.

Transgendered Veterans!

From "The Advocate" comes this update near and dear to my heart!
The story is called "Trans American Military Stories" and features interviews with four transgendered vets. The four transgendered vets are a very small part of the nearly 300,000 transgender people who may have served in the military — even though the government won’t officially allow it.
For you new visitors to the blog I am a transgendered vet and I am testing the hormone waters with them.
The number comes from The Transgender American Veterans Association.
"TAVA"  reports there could be up to 300,000 transgender military veterans in the U.S. today. In 2005, when the TAVA put a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Solider, there was a transgender person representing every U.S. military conflict since WWII.
Still, the very psychological diagnosis that allows transgender folks to get medical care — Gender Identity Disorder — makes them ineligible to serve. And those who’ve gone through corrective surgeries are listed as having “physical abnormalities.” Anyone who is caught wearing clothing of the perceived opposite sex receives a court martial.
According to “Transgender People in the U.S. Military: Summary and Analysis of the 2008 Survey” by the Transgender America Veterans Association the vast majority of transgender vets are trans women (of those using VA hospitals, 13% identified on the FTM spectrum, while 82% identified somewhere on the MTF spectrum) although trans men were three times more likely than trans women to have been asked by an officer about their sexual orientation (33% versus 11%).
Clearly our transgender community has come a long way. We have come close enough to the cliff to see how far the fall is and how hard the landing will be if we come out to the world.
Truly, I can't imagine coming out in the military I knew in the 70's. (Ironically though, I did come out for the first time as a crossdresser with a couple of close friends when I was in the Army.)
As I have posted, I do plan to challenge the initial statement by my therapist that the VA hospital I deal with does not dispense hormones like the VA centers "on the coasts". First of course, I need to get the letter and go from there. My point is why can a transgendered vet on the "coasts" get hormones and I can't?
Reading the stories in this article encouraged me to do more if I have the chance.  How great would it be to open some new doors if I can!

Navajo Dine'

NPR is running a story on "Michelle Enfield" a transgendered woman from Los Angeles.
Michelle is part of the Navajo nation. She has been on hormone replacement therapy since 1997 and recounts the story of her family accepting her. Here is an excerpt:
My family had already been accepting of me through all the different stages of my life because as a Dine' (Navajo), our people see LGBT individuals as having many healing energies.
I have been discriminated against; I've been sexually and physically abused; I've loved and have been loved. Learning to take care of myself emotionally requires me to be happy with all of me. I must accept and learn from all of my experiences because they make me who I am today.

Michelle Enfield

I have said before how fascinated I am with the Dine' and their culture.

Araguz To The Supreme Court?

Texas widow "Nikki Araguz" must sit and wonder what a long strange trip it's been.

From the talk show circuit as a young transgendered woman to a marriage in Texas that ended tragically in her husband's death...she seems to be always on some sort of hot seat.
She lost her court case to claim death benefits in Texas and now is considering taking the case to the Supreme Court.
How does a person do this?
John Wright from the "dallasvoice.com" provided some insight.
"Nikki Araguz, who until now has been represented by Frye & Associations, said she expects Katine & Nechman will partner with national LGBT advocacy groups on the appeal.
Araguz said she chose to switch law firms because the high-profile case could have broad implications for transgender equality, possibly addressing fundamental legal questions about how gender is determined.
“I think that collaborating with multiple national organizations’ legal teams, and the Supreme Court experience of Mitchell Katine, is the better way to go for the greater good of everyone who’s going to be affected by the outcome of this case,” Araguz said this week in an interview with Dallas Voice."
From this statement I gather you go high power legal with backing from national groups and go to court.
On a purely personal level, I never forgot "Nikki's" appearance on Springer years ago explaining her oral sex act with a guy.
On the other hand I agree with her opinion all of this may have or could have far reaching considerations. Certainly governments have legislated gender. It's time for the highest court in the land to decide why they shouldn't.

Wow!

The Veteran's Administration (VA) recently released this statement concerning transgendered vets. I am a a transgendered vet. This statement could certainly change my life! I will add more later!
From the "Sacramento Bee"
The Veterans Health Administration has informed its hospitals and clinics that transgender veterans are eligible for hormones, care before and after gender change surgery, and mental health counseling as part of their regular benefits.
In a directive issued Thursday, the VA reiterated that its facilities are not permitted to perform genital or breast surgeries on veterans in the process of changing genders.
But the agency confirmed that transgender patients are entitled to routine health care that takes their special needs into account and to transgender-specific treatments such as hormone therapy and "non-surgical, supportive care for complications of sex-reassignment surgery."

All Publicity is NOT Good Publicity

From Stamford, Connecticut comes a story which occurred at the exact wrong time.

The "Stamford Times" covered this story  "

Transvestite arrested for alleged sex assault 

 "Isaiah Johnson"

 

 

 

 

  " Police said a transvestite from Stamford ( Isaiah Johnson) was arrested early Wednesday morning for allegedly sexually assaulting a Stamford  teenager with special needs."  

All of this is bad enough. When you take into consideration Connecticut just rejected legislation to restrict "transvestite" males from using women's restroom facilities. It makes it all so very worse. (Please note the use of the transvestite word is not mine.)

Check out this response to the story!

"Just to think that the Connecticut Senate recently rejected an amendment for HB6599, to restrict transvestite males (biologically) from entering men's bathrooms.(He corrected it to "women's") Unfortunately the democrat majority wants transvestite males in women's rooms! I hope they take warning, doesn't mean transvestites are predators but its the principle and the potential of these incidents. Sad that most of you haven''t even heard of this yet." OUCH!

I know (and you know) this is apples and oranges to the great majority of us that do use the women's bathrooms. The closest to a sexual experience I've ever seen is a woman suggesting something to me.  I do cherish and try to respect my use of restrooms. 

None of us need this! 

Seeing What Isn't There?

Or is it? We do so much with mirrors in a transgendered life. We mirror a gender we weren't born as but feel at piece with.
All of society is a mirror. We are not unique in that aspect. Growing up in our birth gender, most of us tried hard to to mirror what we thought society and families wanted us to be. The problem was the mirror was distorted.
The image it gave us was different than we felt and even different than we really looked. I've mentioned my confusion and frustration with my mirror several times Here is an example from a post I wrote last summer called "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall".
Please tell me I'm the fairest of them all!
On occasion, the mirror does tell me that. Then again, the mirror has been known to fib!
I have always had a struggle with that mean old mirror.
It told more than a thousand times I was beautiful only to be stared and laughed at in the first public venue I visited.
More than once the mirror said "you are plain and unattractive" and I never had a problem.
Before you want to jump to conclusions concerning the mirror's judgment, let me reassure you I passed through "transgendered puberty" years ago. I don't frequent malls and such in a micro mini and 5" heels.
Luckily, before I tossed the mirror into the trash heap , we called a compromise.
I told the mirror what I wanted to achieve and we have been working together to be successful.
My ideal was to be a 40ish, big and curvy girl. (My age and size made that a reality! lol) 45 and 5'10".
No real surprise with any of this. Society is obsessed with self image and males are obsessed with female image.
As transgendered women we struggle many times to show what is there. Our inner female self. Unless you are fortunate enough to have a sympathetic spouse or friend, you are on your own with the mirror. Not an easy task but there are many alternatives.  You may have transgendered support groups in your area that either have makeover parties or recommend places to go. If you are brave enough, go to a department store makeup counters and find a person who will help not just sell you something. I had a friend who had great success with a "Mary Kay" lady.
The important point here is that you are not fooling the mirror or a person, you are becoming the person you were meant to be. It has taken me literally years to get to this point.
One thing is certain. Society's obsession with looks is not going away anytime soon. Our challenge is to let our self image shine through the best we can!

Transgender Pagan Relgion?

I'm always fascinated by the different facets of the transgendered culture.
The transgendered woman is truly in the fabric of society as much as any group as evidenced during the "Lilith ritual" at "pantheacon". Evidently, some transgendered women were turned away leading to responses such as this.
"This struggle has been going since the Women’s Mysteries first appeared. These individuals selfishly never think about the following: if women allow men to be incorporated into Dianic Mysteries,What will women own on their own? Nothing! Again! Transies who attack us only care about themselves.
We women need our own culture, our own resourcing, our own traditions.
You can tell these are men, They don’t care if women loose the Only tradition reclaimed after much research and practice ,the Dianic Tradition. Men simply want in. its their will. How dare us women not let them in and give away the ONLY spiritual home we have!
Men want to worship the Goddess? Why not put in the WORK and create your own trads. The order of ATTIS for example,(dormant since the 4rth century) used to be for trans gendered people, also the castrata, men who castrated themselves to be more like the Goddess.
Why are we the ONLY tradition they want? Go Gardnerian!Go Druid! Go Ecclectic!
Filled with women, and men. They would fit fine.
But if you claim to be one of us, you have to have sometimes in your life a womb, and overies and MOON bleed and not die.
Women are born not made by men on operating tables."

What's she trying to say? lol!

You can call me Cyrsti or you can call me Kristi.

But don't call me a transvestite or a crossdresser or a transgendered or a transsexual.
Blah, blah,blah!
Perhaps you have read some or all of the endless rhetoric about our group and labels...but here is more.
From "down under" even!
The time has come again to talk about terminology.

The biggie is the ongoing furore caused by those who want to make
distinctions between various sub-classes of the transgendered
community, partly, I fear, because they want to assert a pecking order
in a range which includes cross-dressers, pre-ops, post-ops,
androgynes and drag adopted for various reasons — some commercial,
some for personal and temporary amusement without an ongoing
commitment to gender change, temporary or permanent.

For many years I thought of myself as a transvestite and acted
accordingly but the time came when I admitted to myself, and the
world, that I was transgendered. For years I imagined the correct term
was transsexual, because I accepted the term in general use, rather
than thinking through the assumptions created by the inevitable
parallel with the words homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual and
asexual.

In other words, that ‘transsexual’ had something to do with sexuality
and the selection of sexual partners. Like many who want the name to
reflect the truth, I now prefer ‘transgender’.

But hey, sexuality, like politics and religion, is a movable feast.
There are those who change their sexuality, with or without also
changing their gender role.
From the Sydney, Australia . "StarOnline".

"We Are the Third World Transgendered Country!

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness has been proven time and again to not be so true for transgendered citizens of the US. From the recent report on transgendered poverty and violence to transgendered rights being systematically ignored (Ohio), we seem to be winning on the runways (transgendered supermodels) but losing our civil rights. If we had many to start with.
In the meantime, our neighbor to the North, Canada is trying to pass a bill guaranteeing basic transgendered rights.
In India "Project Kalki" is trying to empower poor transgendered women as community journalists.
Maybe our country will stand up and do the right thing! Hopefully I will live to see it!
You know, I really don't care what most people think of me as as transgendered person. Liking me or not liking me should not be a factor in taking away my rights as an American!

"Steath Girls"

I chat with a very interesting, educated and intelligent woman at least once a week.  I would have had no way of knowing she was not born female from her pictures until she told me. I really respected her for that.
In her part of the world, she is going to interact with a government agency about discrimination. I immediately thought "transgendered" and she told me not necessarily.  Unless "outed" she was going to protest as a "bi female". I thought wow, our group and her group just got left out again.
I started to think about it and here is part of my response:.
I read "stealth" into much of your ideas.
I used to feel that the trans people who finished their journey just went away and vanished into thin air somehow hurt our group as a whole.
Our true role models disappear and we are left with Jerry Springer.
More and more, my ideas are changing. Realistically, if I was taking the path that you and many others have taken to evolve into your mental gender...I would go stealth too. Maybe.
One could even argue the term "stealth" could be changed to "arrive".
In addition, I try to be as stealth as the next trans girl in public. I am what I am and have very few problems any more in my chosen gender. So am I stealth or have I arrived?
I satisfy my need to "pay forward" and help others with my blog. That's enough right now.
The end result is I have so much respect for the "radicals" amoung us who are anti-stealth and showing the world who we really are. 
"Radical Queer" or whatever the "Anti Stealth" would be labeled is a fork in the road I will face later!

Gender Stereotypes? Really?

Who would have "thunk" it? It seems the "pink and blue" has been around since the cavemen. In fact, that is not the case at all.
According to an article in the "Record Gazette" . "Erin Steele" tells us just how special we used to be "back in the day."
Way back in the day as a matter of fact.
There is anthropological evidence from early North American native tribal cultures that there were three genders: the male, the female and the male-female, called the two-spirit, who showed both male and female characteristics.
The two-spirited person was believed to have received a gift from the Creator – the gift to see everything from two perspectives at one time, and were respected as teachers and healers, caregivers and more in their communities. Tests were given to children at a young age if thought to be two-spirited, so they would have the precious opportunity to fully bloom.
Unfortunately, as we all know, European settlers imposed their word of God on the Native culture, where there was no place for a third gender.
This is hardly new news in the transgendered community. Erin Steele's real reason bringing it up was to praise a bill moving through Canada's government.The bill prohibits discrimination based on an individual's gender identity and gender expression. It passed third reading in the House of Commons last week, and is a positive step forward for open-mindedness.
Maybe next time I see an article on "gender stereotyping" I won't be so quick to dismiss it! Additionally, way to go Canada!
Can you image any bill close to this making it's way through our congress? Our legislators have a higher calling. Wasting our money.

Up Against the Wall!

Passing by the wall of employee info, I happened to glance at the "Equal Opportunity Statement"
Of course I have seen it a million times and like everything else, it kind of just blends in after a while. This time it didn't.
I realized it did not refer to me.  As an older white male, I have been conditioned in the rules and regulations of equal opportunity hiring. Primarily, questions you can ask or not ask in a interview situation. It occurred to me that if I asked "are you transgendered" and the answer was yes I could basically say thanks and we will save your application. (Don't call us...we'll call you)
I also thought if I changed my clothing to meet my chosen gender, I would be gone shortly at my job.  Sure, I could sue and make a big deal about the whole thing. I would but the end result would be the same. I have no equal rights.
What am I doing about all of this?
I feel the acquaintances I meet and the columns I write help a little. I wish I could do more, surely like the rest of you. Hopefully together we can continue to do our "small parts" and the future will bring equal opportunity to us too!
If I didn't mention "Stana" and her "Femulate" blog at this point it would be a huge mistake.  Her "outreach" efforts to colleges in her area are a classic example of bettering our future! She is a quest speaker and explains life as she knows it and more importantly answers much needed questions! Following in her steps is one of my goals!