Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girls" of the Day

As a Friday "change of pace" I decided to pass along to you a "before and after" video of many famous transsexual women and transgender men.

So Simple, So Powerful, So Sad

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Kamolrose Thunphirom  a transsexual model from Thailand stops by the "Condo".

Boxers and Binders and Street Signs

All too often here in Cyrsti's Condo I feel as if I don't mention the "other" side of the transgender street, the trans men.

Trans guys should be mentioned if for no other reason in my part of the world, FtM guys are becoming very dynamic and public. Dare I say the testosterone effect may play a part?

I have always wondered about the different dynamics both genders face when we decide to "jump fences" if you will.  The shallow comparisons come in the form of changing appearances which seem to favor the trans guys.  It's easier to masculate a body than feminize one after puberty.

On a deeper level is the question of gender privilege. I prefer not to discuss privilege again but to simply say it's in the mind of the beholder and in the imaginations of certain groups. I do follow the "other side of the street" closely and my latest "discovery" is Anthony Doubek's blog and writings "Boxers and Binders"

When I read Anthony's thoughts, I invariably come up with all kinds of questions such as - is there any division in the trans male community being identified with the lesbian/butch group?  I do understand that after a certain point in the FtM transition process the groups would naturally separate. Furthermore, I'm always on the outlook for signs of the perpetual bickering which goes on here on our side of the street.

For a closer look at the "other side of street" go here and check out Anthony Doubek!

Dedicated to the ones I Love

I have two very close friends embarking on a similar journey:

Male Privilege

Relax, I'm not going into a contrived emotional post concerning "male priviledge".
Talk about a horse that has been beaten into the ground!
Recently I read a article called "Sex change patients are getting younger and are more likely to be women".

That's right. "Transsexuals in Hong Kong are now seeking gender-changing surgery at a much earlier age than two decades ago, and those coming forward are more likely to be women seeking to become men. "It seems that more and more patients are in their 20s," said Dr Albert Yuen Wai-cheung, chief of service at Ruttonjee Hospital's department of surgery and the only specialist performing sex reassignment surgery at the city's public hospitals. "In the past, they were in their 30s. Now they are quite young, still studying," Yuen said. "With more information available, more are willing to see doctors." Also, women undergoing sex change operations to become men now outnumber men wanting to become women."

Granted this is a very small sampling but interesting none the less. I'm fortunate to know two trans men. One is exploring how he can finance his change and the other is in a very exciting exploration phase. Both could speak to this issue much better than I know but it seems to me I see more women where I live who are really masculine in appearance.  I'm not talking about the much maligned idea that women are allowed to wear men's clothes and not vice versa. I'm talking about women who would have given me a run at my masculinity in my macho acting days. Now,  I also know that having a male ready body does not make a person a transgender candidate. Most of you also know I'm a proponent of the increasing blurring of the genders. (Jamie) Is my small local sample an example? The last thing I claim to be is a statistician, so let's just call it an observation and move on.

Regardless of all of this, the true male or female privilege is the ability to change your body to the extent you need to feel comfortable.  If nothing else, new medical advances have the potential to completely blur the genders- if one has the resources to do it.

For more on the article above, go here.

Transgender "Jocks"

At my advanced age, my interest in sports remains strong as a transgender woman but of course participation opportunities are for the most part out of the question.
However, as the door continues to open for transgender athletes a bit at a time information is coming out from different sources.
This guide comes from a FTM publication called Original Plumbing

1. Check the regulations of team you want to play with – even small recreational dodge ball leagues have by laws that regulate gender and gendered competition. Check to see how the league has written their by laws, and if there are any concerns, contact the head of the organization. If they are unfriendly to you or are not clear about their regulations, do not join that organization.
 2. Co-ed sports can be great options for folks who identify beyond the norms of the binary gender system, however, do not alleviate problems involving transphobia. You have a right to play and participate without hateful comments or actions no matter how you express your identity. However, there is a limitation in what sports may be available for multiple-gender participation.
 3. Private organizations do not have a right to information regarding your healthcare status and is protected by HIPAA law. The organization may be allowed to ask for documentation on your legal sex, but your health is your business.
 4. LGBT sports organizations and recreation leagues tend to be more progressive with their gender policies – even if you do not want to participate in their exact sport, they may have members who might have advice finding a team/organization that will be able to work with your needs.
 Regardless of which team or sport you have chosen, you have a right to play as anyone else. But sometimes as trans folks, we have to fight for our spots at the table. Find an athletic organization of your choice, make some contacts, do your research, and most importantly, know your rights.

Living Trans Between the Ears

I follow the "Ask Matt" blog quite a bit. Matt is a FtM transsexual. He gives me a wonderful prospective into how the "other half" lives plus provides information to you trans men here in Cyrsti's Condo.
Many times our experiences are the same except of course- the approach.
I am so fortunate to have two trans men who I call close friends. Both share experiences with me.
One is going through the coming out to work and family and the other passed along a mens' restroom excursion...just in the past two or three days or so. It's a rare look into the reality of a transgender man's world without the high tech, polished web look.
Here's the work experience:

" Today was a big day.  I had a meeting with my dept manager and my team leader.  They both have known me for over 7 years.  I felt it was going to be an interesting meeting.  I had told them that I had something personal that I needed to discuss with the.  Now my manager is probably 15 years or so younger than I am (probably more) and my team leader is probably 10 years or so order than I am.

Their reactions were much like everyone else's that I have told.  They were happy and enthusiastic.  My team leader even said "cool".  They both like the new name.  Tonight my manager even sent me a text message with quote that made her think of me and the journey that I am on.  The quote was, "It's impossible to consistently live inconsistently to what you really believe."  She then proceeded to tell me how happy she was for me and that she was proud of me.  It felt kind of funny since she is so much younger than I am but the support is great."

I feel so good for him! He has been through some hard times and it's about time karma shines a little light his way.
On we go to Matt and a reader question from a person's whose partner is a transgender man. He dressers in a masculine fashion and binds. He is considering top surgery but is not really considering "T". "He feels isolated by a community of people who call him fake or a 'cis' woman trying to feel special because he doesn't want to transition".

Matt's answer and more here.

Overall, the reoccurring ideas and thoughts I take from these posts are: Is it easier to for a trans man to use the men's room or a trans woman to use the women's room?

Finally, is the 20 to 30 something generation more accepting of the transgender/transsexual culture than older folks?

The Transgender Number

One of our regular readers and a very good friend of mine followed up my "Transgender Number" post with a couple well thought out comments.
Here is one:

"In some twisted way I find humor in this. If science doesn't understand something it becomes a disorder. I think the only disorder about things is that we can't realize that somethings just are. There doesn't have to be a reason. I don't think it was a mistake of nature or anything like that. I think it is merely a path that we have to take in our existence in order to grow our spirit.

It doesn't matter what your religious following is, we all believe in a higher power regardless of what name you use for it. If that power encompasses all of us then it only makes sense that we would have to take this path at sometime. I think we are meant to grow to better understanding. Let's just follow this path and see where your heels and my wingtips take us." (Draco is FtM)

Thanks Draco for your thoughts and I sooooo agree!
Without getting too deep into religion, if you do believe in an inner spirit or soul of any kind it is not a huge reach to attach a basic gender to it.
If indeed that spirit does not match the body, then the problems appear with society trying to pound us into our "proper" gender roles.
You my friend are far overdue in setting your inner spirit free!

"Passing" This Along

From Matt Kailey (ftm trans man) comes a moving look at his 30 year high school reunion:
I'll simply say it's worth the effort to go here to check it out!

Hammering Away at Gender Norms

You have probably seen this story and grasped it's transgender scope:
"Keelin Godsey may not have made it to the 2012 Olympics, but the 28-year-old has already made history as the first out transgender athlete to seriously compete for an Olympic berth. Yesterday Godsey competed in the Olympic trials in the women's hammer throw competition, finishing in fifth place but setting a personal best record of 231 feet 3 inches.
Godsey, who came out as a transgender man in 2005, had previously, according to the The New York Times, assumed this Olympic cycle would be the end of his career and that after it he'd begin the medical transition process — a move that would disqualify him from competing in the women's category in the future."
Read more here.

Transgendered Quick Sand

Over the history of this blog, no post has ever created the feed back that "Transgendered Mid Life Crisis?" did.

Of course there are those here on the blog as well in the transgender or transsexual community  for what ever reason disagree with waiting until midlife to come to grips with gender problems.
Here is yet another slightly different look from a reader:

"I truly know what you meant about gender quicksand. All my life I have tried to live as would be expected of a hetero-male. All the time knowing that something was out of kilter. As a young child I would always imitate female behavior, was left to care for my siblings during the day, and wore the hand-me-downs from my female cousins. Was made to go to elementary school wearing cotton panties, side zip pants, and colorful outerwear. It felt so natural, but brought-on a lot of teasing. At that age you don't understand gender bias. The teasing didn't bother me. I knew I was different and sort of withdrew into myself. I got along with girls much more than boys and further identified with them. As much as I wanted to be like them, I agonized over why I felt so different and began internalizing my feelings. This is the first time I have ever told anyone, not even my wife. I want to be set free to be who I am and live the rest of my life as I was meant to be."

Of course I have read and commiserated with so many transgendered, transsexual and cross dressers over the years especially with the growth of the Internet. With those of you who have thought enough of me to share your experiences truly humbles me.
The whole process has instilled in me how totally and completely nearly all of us have been in our lives living between the gender "rock and a hard place".

Through it all, these absolutes come to mind. The first is "nothing is as bad or as good as it seems". No matter what happens, look for the middle ground. The second is you have to carry your own rope if you are heading for the quicksand. At some point in time you are going to have to take it upon yourself to lasso a rock or tree limb to pull yourself out. You have to plan on it. These days there is so much info for trans women and trans men to claim ignorance.

Finally I have met so many of you who are literally hanging on to your lives for dear life and looking over a huge cliff. As a constant reminder, I have the "Golden Gate Bridge" pictured on my cell phone. It reminds me of the leap of faith I'm taking
Take care my friends, our landing can be softer than we think!

So You DON'T Want to be a Girl!

I have two friends who identify on the "cusp" of ftm transsexuality. Until I met them, I had very little knowledge of the "Super Butch" end of the lesbian culture.
One thought did occur to me that I was similar to them on the other end of the gender spectrum.  I operate as my chosen gender without actual surgery and so do they in many ways-I think. Obviously I can't speak for them. I do watch with interest their interaction with the lesbian community. Again, I compare it to my limited interaction with the male gay folks.
Of course, as with everything in this internet/social media driven world,  others have concerned themselves with way ftm trans men interact with the lesbian community. It comes from Canada's "Xtra".
Here's an excerpt:

"The female to male trans community has long found refuge in the lesbian community but the trans community's growth is causing some re-thinking of the relationship, according to some activists.

“The comment I hear a lot is there aren’t going to be any butches anymore because they are all going to turn into men,” says author and activist Patrick Califia.

“I think that the truth is that as the trans community becomes more visible it is going to impact the structure of the lesbian community."

If you go to the link there is a video attached also!