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| Trans Tennis Star Renee Richards circa 1976. |
Recently, I used the term “dead name” to describe my old male name which I legally changed years ago. Rather than using “dead name”, Kayla wrote in and responded by saying she uses “former tenant” when referring to her former self.
I liked the idea and decided to pass it along to all of you
for your consideration. I mean it is not like we have enough other terms which have
evolved and even disappeared over the years. If you are of a certain age, you
probably remember when transvestite was used as a term to describe many of us
with gender issues. Then there is the term “transgender” which (according to
Wikipedia) was originally used in 1965 by psychiatrist John Olivien then popularized
by Virginia Prince in the mid 1990’s. Which was when I began to hear about
being transgender and how it applied to me.
It was not until I began to go to the old “Tri-Ess” social
transgender-cross dresser mixers, did I really begin to grasp the differences
in the terminology to describe myself which was becoming more and more
important to me. During the earliest times I can remember coming out to anyone
was in the mid to late 1970’s when I used the transvestite term rather than
using cross-dresser which perhaps would have been easier for the other person
to understand. At the time, I was selfish and was not so concerned about what
the others thought about me as I was about preserving my male self and was not
coming out to many others anyhow. I stayed with thinking I was a transvestite which
was not as far along on the gender disruption order as transsexual which meant to
me as wanting major surgeries to live fulltime as a woman. At my age, “Christine
Jorgensen” was the first person I remember as a well-known transsexual when she
published her autobiography in 1967. The year I graduated from high school, so
I had a real interest in secretly trying to find a copy of her book and try to
read it which I never did. The closest I ever came was finding a copy of the “Renee
Richards” book “Second Serve” which was published in 1976. I found it interesting
when I researched Richard’s book in Wikipedia, no reference was made to her
being a transsexual woman, only a transgender one.
About that time was when I began to seriously feel as if I
fit the definition of a transgender woman more than any definition, I had ever
seen before. I was somewhere off in a never-never land between being the
cross-dresser I always perceived myself to be and the transsexual self which
was rapidly disappearing as a term.
For me, at least as I “matured” into a “transfeminine”
person which supposedly first appeared in a “Tapestry” publication from Tri-Ess
in 1985. About the time I was seriously looking for ways to escape my gender
closet. Also the time for me when I began to have serious access to the
internet and social media which over the years was to open many new doors for
me as well as many new terms such as the use of LGBT at all as many more
letters were added to support different gender communities. In my latest search,
I found the term is up to LGBTQIA+ to include all the variations on the gender
spectrum.
Then there is gender fluidity which I have known a few
people who have described themselves as such over the years. In fact, we had a
gender fluid person attend our support group meeting here in Cincinnati years ago
who went only with their middle initial as a name and refused any of the
traditional he or she pronouns. I often thought maybe I was actually gender
fluid growing up on the days I wanted to be a girl instead of the boy gender I
was born into.
In another support group years ago, I mentioned another
group catch phrase centering around Hormone Replacement Therapy or HRT. I
called it HRT and Andi gently reminded me that a better, in-depth term, would be
gender affirming hormones which made sense to me and I try to use both to this
day.
Now I get to throw another gender term into my years old trashcan
thanks to Kayla. I will never have to use a term I always hated anyhow to
describe my ascent to being a successful trans woman in a world of ciswomen. Which,
for the sake of staying with the theme of this post simply means a woman who
was born female and still identifies as a woman.
I suppose the meaning of all these labels simply shows what
a complex community the LGBTQIA+ really is and the most important thing is that
you find the little niche you need to survive in. If you can follow all these
changes, you deserve all the progress you have made. When push comes to shove
all these terms are just semantics and you deserve more as you enter your
authentic life.
I know there are other labels I have missed. I hope I have covered the major ones that helps us all and my “dead “name is now truly dead.
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