Gender Fluid Weekend

I had some sort of idea of how the weekend was going to play out gender wise, and I wasn't disappointed. Liz and I headed over to Columbus relatively early and had a chance to check in our hotel in time to relax before the evening really got started.  We have stayed at the same place a couple times for TGLBQ Pride and the Trans Ohio Symposium, so the process was fairly easy-even though my girl self was checking in and my guy self was paying. (As he should!) The front desk peeps only care though if the credit card doesn't go through. They rarely ever even look up to see my beautiful self. (kidding)

That evening, as "Madame La'Noe" began to appear, she turned out to be the rather androgynous scary person I thought she might be.

We hit the street party and I had no idea why most of the peeps were steering clear of me? (Ha!) Of course, that was no fun so I went looking for interaction. And, found it in a couple spots where I knew I would get feed back- the men's rooms in a couple of gay venues we were in. I think you all know I try to keep Cyrsti's Condo PG rated, so I'm am going to try to explain what I said to them, without going too far.  The first had something do with commenting on "The Madam's" crystal balls around her neck (You can see them in the picture to the left of the rubber chicken.) And a little gold snake I had curled around one hand and wrist, which you can't see in the picture. You can guess about any of the "ball" comments and I just asked if any of the guys were snake lovers and did they want to pet mine?

If you know anything about gay guys, they are not shy about sex talk and leaving them pretty much speechless for a minute or so was rare and I can't tell you what they did say!

As Saturday rolled around, we tried to recover from Friday night, which was a great idea- until we went out to watch the Ohio State/Penn State football game.  Because she said she would, Cyrsti became "The Madam" for part of the evening and we visited a couple of my regular Dayton spots where we could watch the game- for another one of those "shouldn't have" moments! Oh well!

Remember, we weren't even to Sunday yet and when it got here,  I had a very good idea of why I was too damn old to party two nights in a row!  Not be be denied of another beautiful day, Liz and I went to a local park.  Just to keep it interesting for the "after church" crowd in the smaller town I live in, I decided to go with a "go to hell" androgynous look. Could I have possibly still been buzzed?  My go to hell outfit consisted  of men's tennis shoes, women's jeans, unisex sweat shirt top, light foundation, haired pulled back-and bright red nail polish left on from the two nights before. Naturally, I had quite the reaction from the elderly ladies sitting in their Cadillac's watching me pump my gas. I figured after spending their time and money getting smoked by a mean preacher at church, they needed a break!

As much fun as it all was though, I figure it will take me until about Wednesday to recover, when it's beer and music night with Kim and Racquel!

It's time for my nap now!

Walking the "Mean" Streets in the "Nati"?

'The Nati' is simply a slang term for Cincinnati, Ohio.  You regulars around Cyrsti's Condo know I sort of live there part time with my partner who has lived in "the Nati" her entire life.

In a previous post, I wrote a little about the Covington/Newport TGBLQ Pride night last Saturday.  Both towns are connected and are located across the Ohio River from Cincinnati.  During the evening, as both of us walked a bit to get to our selected venues, the fact wasn't lost on me that a transgender woman was murdered in Cincinnati mere days before.  I'm not taking 'the Nati' to task anymore than any larger urban areas in that any woman does not want to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. ESPECIALLY a trans woman.

We did decide to shorten our walks and look for closer parking and as we did, I couldn't help dwell on what the public sees in my partner and I and does it matter?

What I mean is, we don't shy away from holding hands and other small displays of public affection, so are they looking at us as two lesbians-or her as who she is and me as who I am as transgender? By the "does it matter" comment I mean-we all know women are targets for violence and to make it worse, we trans women are bigger targets. So I know we are at a higher risk of violence anyhow.

Every once in a while here in the "Condo" we do a very serious post concerning individual security as you come out of the closet as a cross dresser or a trans woman. I am in no way a believer in the myth of male privilege except in a couple key areas and one is personal security.

Before you hit the imagined mean streets like I did, remember-it's never a problem to be too vigilant and careful!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

No "Kerplunk" yet this week kids-all kinds of a crazy weekend which started with Liz and I celebrating yet another Pride night close to her home turf across the Ohio River from Cincinnati in Northern Kentucky and ending with my deceased wife's mother who I still consider my Mother in Law in the hospital in very critical condition from a ruptured intestine.

Plus, just to add a little spice I came out to my sister in law today too.

More later.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!!! a rather late edition of our epic "Sunday Edition!"

Page 1.- Columbus Ohio Pride.  I'm thinking about now, I'm part of nearly a half million TGLBQ Pride celebrants in Columbus, Ohio- who are nursing hangovers-from yesterday.  Yes, the attendance was estimated at a cool half a mill. (Who does that?)

From my personal viewpoint, a good time was had by my intrepid group of four and I have only one crummy picture to show for it, but I'm passing it along anyhow. The guy who took the picture was just as messed up as the picture looks and is actually the best he could do before I took my phone back.

The weather actually wasn't hateful for this time of year and stayed in the low to mid 80's for the hottest part of the day.

The parade itself, started late and was very long, so I think we watched maybe a third of it before we headed back to the outside patio venue you almost see above.  I'm not a huge parade fan and got to see George Takei  actor from the original Star Trek and who has probably been "beamed up" from more gay pride parades than anyone in history!

Page 2.- Transgender Vets.  I was really surprised to see a Pride Color Guard actually kicking off the parade. I was so surprised I didn't get a picture of the one cop of three Columbus policemen saluting the flag and the group.

As promised, I wore my T-shirt my partner Liz designed for me which said "I'm proud to have fought for your rights which were denied to me."  I really didn't get much response except for one really drunk guy who never understood anyway.  No one even came close to labeling me with the Tra--y gender slur so the closest I came to problems was when I bitched out a couple for cutting the line at the "Porta Potties".



Page 3.- Who were those People?  At my age, it seems like everyone at an event like this weekend are young enough to be my kids - or worse yet my grand kids.  There were however a significant group of peeps outside of the TGLBQ community who came to support, party or just watch the show.  Ironically, my friends and I were surprised how much of a show there wasn't.

I went expecting groups of garish drag queens sweating off their makeup in the heat and half naked buffed gay guys milling around in the crowd.  Perhaps since we are in the relative conservative "Heartland" U.S.A., the only drag queens we even saw were on parade floats.  I did see one other transgender woman during the day, one cross dresser at night with another trans girl.  Needless to say, I certainly didn't check out 500,000 people, but I was looking. Per norm, I did get my share of looks and mostly from the middle aged women who were there and very little from the younger crowd.

Page 4.- The Back Page.-  I had a great time attending a very serious TGLBQ Pride event and the Goddess willing I can do it again next year.  As I have mentioned, Columbus is very diverse, and the community there has built itself into a commercial force.  It is simply financially advantageous for a business to be pro Pride and it showed!

Pre Pride Post Two

Well, today marks the end of a crazy thirty days or so in my life. During the time, I managed to finally publish "Stiletto's on Thin Ice", attend the Trans Ohio Symposium (and present a work shop) jump genders for my family once and let's not forget- a couple of mammograms tossed in.

TGLBQ Pride day today marks the end of my current attempt to catch my tail here in Columbus, Ohio. Pat sent in a comment which rang true to me, for probably the wrong reasons. The comment was another which went into "never-never" land the other day, but paraphrased she (Pat) said something to the effect of me being the "lone transgender woman" in the crowd.  My first reaction was "Wow! I hope not."  Then, as I started to think about it, Pat was right to speculate I may be the only "out and visible" trans woman. Realistically, I'm sure everyone I run into is not going to think I was born genetic.  Just as realistically, do I expect a stealth attractive transgender woman coming up to me to chat?  No.  Would I venture a guess and start a conversation with a person I thought was a transgender woman? Probably not.

Plus, as I have said a number of times, after the parade is over today, my friends and I will be headed to lesbian venues- which brings up a whole different dynamic.  As you know, I do have some experience partying with lesbians and in my view, pretty much go out of their way to steer clear of another woman they perceive to be in a partnership.  On the other hand, since I have been forced into action as one of my friend's wing girl I'm beginning to understand the basics of the hunt.  On a very few occasions, when I was left unattended I became the hunt-only I think because I bring more than a little spice to the adventure. (It's also rumored I am a HUGE flirt.)

So Pat, I'm afraid you could be right. I will say the Trans Ohio group (who will have a presence in the parade) is becoming stronger and more organized all the time but so far they still are dominated by trans men-which is good by me.  Many of who I perceive to be trans women in the organization still don't make eye contact with me.  But, if I go back not so long ago, I wouldn't make eye contact with me either.

Plus, there is the age card.  However you want to cut it, the age difference in those young trans women I may meet is a major problem.  Outside of gender preference, we just don't share much.

As far as those entitled cis gay males and drag queens go - no harm no foul-unless someone calls me the Tr---gender slur!

The way it's looking, I am writing this Friday, posting it Saturday and will get back with all of you hopefully Sunday!

Pride?

This weekend, three of my friends and I are attending the TGLBQ Pride march and party in Columbus, Ohio.

As I continue to mention, Columbus is a very diverse city and the event promises to be well attended.  True to form, for the past month or more I have spent a considerable amount of "noggin" time, trying to come up with where I wanted to fit it.

It's not easy.

The gay and lesbian communities have much to be proud of.  Both were instrumental in breaking down discrimination barriers  and more they faced.  Plus the drag queens can look back with pride at their huge role in the Stonewall riots in 1969. All of the history is great but the fact remains- we transgender woman and men are not understood and left out.

Are the "Bi's" left out too? Then again, who exactly are the "Bi's"? The only potential peeps in this category I have ever met are the fetish cross dressers who will only have sex with another man if he is dressed as a she? And, if I still considered myself a cross dresser-fetish or not, would I feel any sort of pride if I went to Pride?  I'm pretty sure I would from the simple fact for a whole day I could express my gender as I saw fit. Plus, as a matter of fact, Pride events are much more cost effective for those who can not afford an event such as "Provincetown".(Fantasia Fair-below)


And, how about those lesbians?  The three friends I'm going with are all lesbians and two are pretty much clueless when I complain of transgender discrimination.  I just know I feel comfortable with them and the lesbian venues we will be going too.  I have always found their company to be the most natural for me to fit into to.  If I had to guess though, I'm thinking the three are going to party first and then be proud!

Where does all of that leave me as a transgender woman in the crowd?  I feel guilty.  I want the world to know I am trans and proud-as I am but, if I can blend in with the lesbians and party-I want to be there too. The fun part about the day is I will be able to dress down appropriately for a hot, humid Ohio summer day and enjoy being transgender.

For one of the first times in my life, I don't have to fit into yet another set of molds...this time from the gay/lesbian community.

Not So Long Ago...

As I look ahead at the TGLBQ Pride events coming up-it's also time to look back at a time which some of us still remember...when cross dressing was against the law.  Check the picture on the left of a cross dresser being arrested in New York City.

Just last summer a closeted cross dresser asked me if he just went to a gay venue in nearby downtown Dayton, Ohio was he in danger of being arrested for simply dressing like a woman.

Told him I could not say for sure if any law like that was still on the books but if it was-it had never been enforced with me.

Nothing to Wear

In the recent year or so, "nothing to wear" meant agonizing over what outfit I could put together as I faced the public as a woman.  Fortunately, as I have become more secure in what my style means to me and how I can shop to fit it-times have become easier in the closet department. (No pun intended.)  I am also helped immensely by my partner Liz's acceptance of my style and her suggestions and little gifts. So now I have nearly none of my male clothes left which was the plan-until this brief gender detour this weekend.

Years ago my daughter converted to her husband's Jewish religion and tomorrow is my grand daughter's Bat Mitzvah.  If you aren't Jewish like I am, I had to do a little research and this is what I came up with: According to Jewish law, when Jewish boys become 13 years old, they become accountable for their actions and become a bar mitzvah. A girl becomes a bat mitzvah at the age of 12.  

It's expected over a hundred peeps will be there between tonight and tomorrow.  With a bunch of them whom I haven't seen for awhile or others who have heard of my transition-I will be the androgynous -transgender elephant in the room.  Several attendees do know of my cross dressing past but my appearance now will certainly show them I have gone way past that.

So tomorrow, as one of the set of grandparents, I was asked (required) to stand up for the ceremony with the Rabbi.  Exactly how I was going to present was one of the first questions when I came out over a year ago to my daughter.  Turns out, grand daughter didn't care how I was attending-she wanted me there. I did obsess over thinking, what the hell, what a great time to come out to the rest of the world who was left, who didn't know already.

Finally though, I thought that would be a selfish act. I should not be taking away any of the spot light from my grand daughter on her special day. So I'm attending as what's left of my male self.

By wearing a very large loose T-shirt one day and a short sleeved vest the second, I can get away with not binding my breasts-yet.  Something I'm sure you trans guys sympathize with.  Plus, being the cynical bitch I can be, showing a little development will keep a few tongues wagging. Speaking of wagging tongues, Liz and I are having a contest on how many times she calls me by my feminine name.  Which she does without fail-except she shouldn't tomorrow.  It's going to be tough on her to call me my male name and mispronoun me as a "he".

All of this is over and done by tomorrow afternoon though and all will go their merry way and Liz and I will do some Dayton TGBLQ Pride partying!  As far as the grand kids go, my goal is to have a sit down Q&A with them later this month-no parents allowed.

Should be interesting!

Burger Heaven

This post is fun for a couple of different reasons-food and public reactions.

Following the main day Saturday of workshops at the Trans Ohio Symposium, it was time for Liz and I to head on back to our hotel room, take a break and head out for a night on the town in Columbus.

The picture on the left is taken at The Ohio State Student Union with the Buckeye Mascot, Brutus Buckeye.  Of interest to me is how I could tell the effect of HRT is affecting my legs-adding a rounded feminine outer layer of fatty tissue under the skin-  extending up through my hips and rear.

To make sure I didn't slide backwards, I made plans to take Liz to one of the best "burger joints" in the country that night- Thurman's in Columbus, Ohio. Thurman's has been in business since 1942 and does have tremendous hamburgers!  The only problem I ran into was I had to eat them far more femininely (with a fork) than I ever did before.

The really cool part of the visit was how I was received. Past history has told me I should be prepared for any reception from a very chilly one, to at the least a nice one from the staff and the usual rude stares from other customers.  As I have said, Columbus is a very diverse city and Thurman's sits very close to German Village which is known to have a strong gay influence- but- as we know, "gay ain't trans." .  Not only were we made to feel welcome, I felt embraced. It was like Wow! they were honored there was a real live transgender woman there. Really?  The experience was positively wonderful! Also, being in Columbus as compared to Cincinnati, fewer other guests suffered neck injuries straining to look at me. (Sorry "Nati" I love ya' but it's true.)

Finally, as several of you party peeps know here in Cyrsti's Condo, certain foods (such as a great big burger) will set you up for success during an evening of drinking.  Our next stop was to do just that at a place called Club Diversity which I have mentioned here before. The name says it all.  "Diversity" is actually in an old Victorian mansion just south of downtown and is actually part owned by a transgender woman.  If I had to guess, the majority of the clientele is of the gay male type but you can expect a nice mellow mixture of others.  Except when a group of cross dressers who meet there monthly got kicked out for awhile. (Imagine that!)

Fortunately, I live very close to Columbus and have plans to attend TGLBQ Pride with Liz in a couple of months! So a trip back is coming up soon.

Cyrsti's Condo " Up! " Power Scope! "

 I dearly love this "power scope" for a couple reasons.  First of all, this weekend (Saturday) my daughter is having a huge get together for my grand daughter and my new androgynous self will be meeting peeps I haven't seen for years and others I have never met.  It will be important to enjoy the moment for the moment and to hell with anyone else.
Then, later in the day, we will be attending a few of the TGLBQ Pride events in Dayton, Ohio.  A few of my friends want to go to a couple gay venues to party, which is cool by me.  Is my scope trying to tell me an "entitled? cis gay guy" is going to push me around and call me a gender slur? (Tra--ny)  Rest assured the slur will be tossed back at him and certainly I would never screw him!

I do look at all the Pride events this year specifically as a time to be proud of being a transgender woman , plus I plan to take advantage of the fun!


Libra-(September 23-October 22): Get crazy happy when you want to. This is a week for indulgence and feeling part of the moment. If you take anything too seriously, especially with relatives, you will just lose it. People are going to try to push you around — don’t take it. Instead, toss it back. Screw people who can’t respect you, as now is when they’ll learn never to underestimate you again.



For your "scope", go here to the theFrisky.

"Weakly" Reader

Some of you "of age" and from the U.S. may remember the "Weekly Reader" at school when you were growing up.  Actually I found it started in 1928,  ceased and merged with another company in 2012, so for a moment, I didn't feel so ancient.

My reason for bringing it up is I'm only a week away from the Trans Ohio Symposium, this weekend is Memorial Day already and as of this moment I still only have Stilettos on Thin Ice ready for publication on the Kindle platform only. I'm still waiting to hear why the files didn't come across the same on Apple and Nook. I'm still hoping to publish today to give the book plenty of time to get into Amazon and maybe even a chance Barnes and Noble. (Which takes a little longer.) The goal of course is to network it at Trans Ohio.  We will see, at this point I'm a bit frustrated and aggravated but I will live.

In the meantime, I need to put the finishing touches on my workshop presentation next week as well as figure out all the details of what I'm wearing, times and all that fun stuff.  The symposium itself is being held at The Ohio State University Student Union which is approximately only a half hour from where I live, so travel isn't a worry. My partner Liz and I have volunteered to help work next Friday passing out and picking up classroom materials for all the educational and professional types which attend, so I will have to plan for that too.

All in all, I can't wait for the weekend! Last year, I'm sure I learned way more than anyone learned from me and I hope to double it this year.

In addition to the Symposium, The TGLBQ Pride events are starting up around my area in Cincinnati, Dayton and Columbus.  Columbus is the biggest on the 20th of June and my friends and I already have rooms reserved in town for it.  The others are "iffy" or out because Cincinnati is the same weekend as the Symposium and Dayton the same day as a family reunion of sorts I have to go to.

Anyway you cut it, the summer is off to a busy start.  I need a vacation!!!!

All the Colors of a Weekend Rainbow!

I believe this weekend, I got a little warm up to what I should experience at all the TGLBQ Pride events coming up around me in the next couple of months. Following a week which went quickly but was a "grinder" (for both my partner Liz and I)  we decided to check out a "mixer" of sorts for CrossPort   which is a Cincinnati, Ohio based transgender support group.  Although I am an atrociously poor "mixer" because I have been innately very shy through most of my life, I really wanted to step out of my comfort zone and hopefully meet other transgender women or men.
Did I? No I didn't, and here is my excuse.  First of all, I think there may have been a total of six or seven trans women who filtered through the gay venue we were at between eight and ten and then suddenly left.  Of the group I was only able to make solid eye contact with two or three-who abruptly turned away.  That's it and poof! the group vanished to who knows where and by the time Liz and I began to notice they were gone, we were having such a good time, we didn't notice. So yes I was a social failure yet again and if you read Cyrsti's Condo and you were at Shooter's Bar downtown, I wasn't being a bitch and not trying to say hi!

On the bright side, I did get a chance to wear my hand beaded transgender hair barrette (Liz made it) last night with the "Yin and Yang" center logo-as you see here on the back of my noggin.  If you want one made for you, let me know and I will pass on all the information on costs and timing you need to know! I plan on letting my trans pride flags fly at Pride!

So, other than the trans sisters I did see and I few others in the bar who we thought were transgender, the other colors of the rainbow were represented too.  Shooter's itself was unique to me because it was the first gay venue I had ever been in which went from country line dancing music to a drag show.  Liz and I have a little country in us, so the music was OK but then again maybe not for the other trans girls? Like I said, we became so immersed in the art form of removing jello shots from tiny plastic cups with our tongues, we didn't notice much else except- my favorite game, "spot the genetic woman."  After careful consideration, as the evening progressed (or regressed) we figured there was one other transgender lesbian couple in the bar. ( A trans/genetic couple like we are.)

Liz managed to trash me on the jello show dexterity contest and kept her "boy toy" jello shot person busy as the queens arrived to get ready for the drag show. When show time neared, the place began to thin out as several gay male "bears"  took off. and a few lesbians filtered in.

At the least last night,diversity was very diverse at Shooters.  As were the jello shots!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!"  Another edition of our Sunday edition has hit your computer!

Page 1.-Mom.   Mother's Day is  still a ways off, but I couldn't resist a couple references to my Mom because they fit so well!  The first came when I was thinking how fast the week went by.  My Mom, the noted philosopher, said at one time "life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you come to the end, the faster it goes."  How could one forget knowledge such as that?  The other indirectly came from a recent post which referred to my lack of expertise in math- I sucked.  I was not alone it seemed as a received this response from Mandy Sherman:

If girls "aren't supposed to be good at math" and "boys are," then it's quite clear that I really am a girl in a boy's body. 'Cause without a calculator, my math ability sucks, and with a calculator it isn't a whole lot better.... Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to take home economics in school...it might have been the better choice! Mandy

As it turned out Mandy, my Mom was a Home Economics teacher at the high school I went to.  I too would have enjoyed "Home Ec" more than the college level math and science classes I was forced into except if Mom taught it.  I was in enough trouble already being in the same school as her.  Sadly the whole lack of freedom in high school was just another example of being pounded in a square hole as a round peg.

Page 2.- Coming Soon.  As Mom said, I'm getting close to the end of the TP roll this month and into May and time will fly. I'm sure how over the next month or so you will get tired of reading me whine about situations I put myself into.  The festivities start out the end of May when I present my workshop at the Trans Ohio Symposium and roll out my book "Stilettos on Thin Ice."  No pressure, right?  The next weekend is a huge party of sorts for my grand daughter.  Peeps are expected from all around the country and an occasion I have decided will be highly androgynous for me.  I had thought about coming as me but then thought it should be her day, with no distractions.  I will have to find an extra large loose shirt, tie my hair back and go for it. Finally, beginning the end of May and into the latter part of June, there are tons of Pride events in the cities around me which sound like great fun.

Page 3.- Cha-Cha Changes.  This morning I had a pleasant surprise when I put on a bra I haven't worn for awhile which is a real live "C" cup and I actually almost totally filled it out.  Truthfully, I hadn't paid much attention to development.  I either used my old breast forms or just went braless. Instead I was focused on improvements in my hip and butt areas.  My goal is this summer to do natural justice to a summer sun dress.  Standing in my way is weight loss and skin care.  I have very sensitive "sun burnable" skin.  To take the weight off, I like to work outside, which of course means plenty of suntan lotion.

Page 4.-Back Page.  This week there isn't one.  So simply, Y'all have a great week and as always, thanks so much for visiting Cyrsti's Condo!